Part Two: Tigwit's Fund-Raiser

Chapter 1

Having made so much money from the elves in Rivendell who wanted to join his show, Feren didn't really need Thranduil to finance his trip to Lothlorien, but Feren never paid for anything unless he had to.

Knowing full well that the audience at his Elves Got Talent show would be limited pretty much to Thranduil and – well, Thranduil – Feren knew that he needed to expand his recruitment pool even further. He must find real talent, and since this was not to be found in Rivendell or Mirkwood, he would go to Lothlorien – not only because singing was a general education requirement there by decree of the Lady of Light, but also because Samwise Gamgee of the shire was visiting Lady Galadriel at the moment (this Feren knew from Haldir) and had brought with him Peregrin Took. Young Took was, according to Lord Denethor of Gondor, the best singer in Middle-Earth, and Feren hoped that with a little persuasion, he could convince him to sign on to his record label – which had not been started yet for lack of funds, but which Feren would soon debut with the money earned from the elves.

So he travelled to Lothlorien, fully cognisant of the fact that somehow he must persuade Lady Galadriel to give up her casino night plans so foully put into her head by Lord Elrond, and save Thranduil from losing more gems to the Lady of Light's biased whims. She didn't like Thranduil, never had. But that was all right because Thranduil didn't like her, either.

Feren talked Lindir into coming with him. It wasn't hard; all he had to do was inform him that Legolas was locked up in Rivendell, and Lindir gladly changed direction. He was through with Legolas.

Well, he always had been. But never mind.

Feren and his cousin set gaily out that very evening, and arrived in Lothlorien at noon the next day.

Lady Galadriel was civil but cold. That was how she always was towards elves from Mirkwood (as far as she was concerned, Lindir was from Mirkwood, too). This was due, Feren knew, to her great fear and abhorrence of spiders. She could not help but associate the elves of the Woodland Realm with "those horrid creatures." But she would never admit this because fear is weakness and Galadriel had none.

Celeborn was friendlier. Feren was friends with Celeborn. He felt him to be a kindred spirit in some ways, and admired his strength of character in not having banished Galadriel long ago.

Feren didn't speak to Galadriel about the casino night at first. He wanted to find Peregrin Took, and besides, he needed to plot a plot.

That wouldn't be difficult, not for him, but he needed a little time.

It was not hard to find Took. He and his friends were down by the river, dancing about and singing a song about a cow jumping over the moon. Feren suspected they had been drinking, but as that was illegal in Lothlorien, he didn't mention it. Besides, he was too delighted. This kind of song was never heard in the halls of the elves. It would be just the thing.

Then he smiled widely. Samwise Gamgee and Frodo Baggins were sitting nearby, listening to their friends sing. Something about the group made Feren's heart leap with delight. Why was he worried about finding solo acts for his talent show when he could be recording…recording…

Boy bands!

The idea was epic. He wanted to dance. Oh the money coming his way!

"What a lovely song, Mr. Took," he said, with a low and graceful bow.

"Hello," said Peregrin Took. "Who is that, Merry?"

"I don't know," said Merry. "Why don't you ask him?"

"Why don't you ask him?" said Pippin.

Feren interrupted. "I am Feren, son of Eminem, steward, gatekeeper, and hornblower for Thranduil Elvenking in Mirkwood and a captain in his army. I am also, at the moment, CEO of Tigwit Records, as well as general hiring manager. And treasurer. And, everything else."

Pippin and Merry looked at each other.

"Aah," said Pippin.

"I heard that you were here," said Feren, "so I came to hear you sing. And now I want to offer all of you –" he glanced at Sam and Frodo "—a contract for my record label."

"What?" said Frodo.

"As a band," said Feren. "A – hobbit band. Like the orcs have. I mean, they don't have hobbit bands. They have little orc bands. Which is kind of the same thing."

Pippin looked at Merry.

"I think that's a wonderful idea, Merry," he said. "They need people of talent on these record labels."

Merry looked thoughtful.

"What do we get?" he asked.

"Oh," said Feren. "Fifty percent of the royalties."

"That's not much," said Merry. "Is it, Frodo?" Frodo was the only hobbit who could do math.

"It depends on how much you sell," said Frodo.

"Which will be a lot," said Feren, with his most winning smile.

"I don't know," said Merry.

"I like the idea," said Pippin.

"All right," said Merry. "What about you, Frodo?"

Frodo looked at Sam. Frodo couldn't sing without Sam. He needed him to stay in key.

"I don't like it, Mr. Frodo," said Sam. "It feels like a trap."

Feren rolled his eyes. "Well," he said. "Think about it. Now, Meriadoc and Peregrin, come with me and we will discuss your debut track list. Better record a single, too, and start distributing it."

Pippin and Merry followed him. He looked over his shoulder at Sam and Frodo under the trees and smiled.