Author's Note: To spice things up, I made a reference to another fandom in this chapter. Tell me if you found it.

Part Two: Tigwit's Fund-Raiser

Chapter 2

Feren had a to-do list. He was reading it when Lindir stumbled in upon him.

"Feren," stammered Lindir.

"What?" asked Feren.

"You know Orophin?"

"Haldir's brother. I know him all too well."

"He's as bad as Legolas."

"Come now," said Feren. "Have you so little faith in your race to believe that anyone in the world could be as bad as Legolas?"

"Well, almost," said Lindir. "He just cheated me out of a necklace."

"What were you doing with a necklace?" asked Feren.

"I'm an elf," said Lindir.

"Oh, that's right," said Feren. "You're from Rivendell."

"You don't wear necklaces in Mirkwood?" asked Lindir.

"Thranduil does," said Feren. "Tell me, how did Orophin cheat you out of this necklace?"

"We were playing cards and he cheated. I saw him."

"Wait," said Feren. "You were foolish enough to play cards with Lady Galadriel's chief casino-manager? Why do you think she picks him to run her fund-raisers? Cheating is his very greatest talent."

Lindir looked downcast.

"Things must now be done differently," said Feren. "I must move 'Incapacitate Orophin' from the bottom of my to-do list to the top."

"What?" asked Lindir.

"Quite right," said Feren. "Now, I need you to do me a favour."

"Ok," said Lindir, who was a push-over.

"Baggins, who has apparently grown tired of being trailed around by Gamgee all the time, is going on a boat ride this afternoon. I need you to tell Gamgee that he's leaving. Don't tell him where, just say he's in a boat on the river."

"Why?" asked Lindir. "Poor Baggins."

"Pish-posh," said Feren. "It's for his own good."

"All right," said Lindir, doubtfully.

"Time it just right," said Feren. "Wait till Baggins is out on the water."

"Ok, ok," said Lindir.

"Now," said Feren. "Tell me, where is Orophin, for I much desire to speak with him."

"Orophin, my fine fellow!" cried Feren when he found him.

"Oh, it's you," said Orophin. "Coming to get your cousin's necklace back?"

"I'm very impressed by your prowess with cards," said Feren.

Orophin looked snooty.

"There's really only one person I know who's better," went on Feren.

"Who?" asked Orophin, dismissively. "I don't believe you."

Feren took a chair and put up his feet.

"He's an old friend of mine from the mountains. He's amazing at cards, actually. I bet you couldn't beat him."

"Who is this?" asked Orophin. "I bet I could."

Feren smiled magnanimously.

"I bet I could!" said Orophin. "Bring him here. And we'll have a game of it."

Feren shrugged. "You might get in trouble," he said.

"For what?"

"Bringing an orc into Lothlorien."

"What! An orc is better than me? This isn't true. I'll prove it to you. Give me his number. I'm challenging this guy."

"Be it upon your own head," said Feren, rising to leave. "Let me know when he gets here."

"Oh, I will," said Orophin. "I want you to watch."

Feren smiled, and went to check on his hobbit band.

"Hello, Feren," said Pippin. "When do we start recording?"

"As soon as I get my recording artist here," said Feren. "Which will be soon."

Orophin knew the secret paths in Lothlorien as Feren could not, and getting Bolg the orc into the stronghold of the elves was easy for him. Orophin treated him quite contemptuously, but Bolg felt the same towards him and so it was all chummy and cheerful. Feren pulled Bolg aside momentarily.

"Do be aware that you are in danger," he said. "Galadriel doesn't hold by the laws of the Middle-Earth Convention on the Elimination of All Forms of Racial Discrimination. She might kill you."

Bolg shrugged. "The money's worth it," he said.

"Not if you're dead," said Feren. "And I don't know where to get another sound artist."

"I hope you brought a lot of money, elf," said Bolg to Orophin. "Because I did."

"You're gonna lose," said Orophin.

Bolg rolled his one good eye.

"Let's play!" he said.

Feren excused himself.

"Hey, wait!" cried Orophin, after him. "I want you to see me beat this vermin."

"I'll be back," promised Feren.

He went to find Rumil.

He didn't mind Rumil. Rumil was not as nice as Haldir, but nicer than Orophin.

"My dear friend," he said.

"Hello, Feren," said Rumil. "Haldir was telling me about how you got Legolas locked up in Rivendell."

"Was he?" asked Feren. "Well, I couldn't really avoid it. Where is Haldir now?"

"He went to chase some dwarves. He doesn't deal with dwarves well. He's worse than anyone I know."

"You haven't seen Thranduil," said Feren. "Did Orophin go with him?"

"I doubt it. Haldir is mad at Orophin right now. We're all mad at Orophin right now. He's been cheating like crazy. Someone needs to take him down a peg or two. But instead, Galadriel puts him in charge of her fund-raiser."

"Jealous?" asked Feren.

"No," said Rumil. "I just want what's best for him. He's my brother."

"Well," said Feren. "I'm pretty sure he's going to get taken down a peg or two this afternoon."

"Why?" asked Rumil, brightly.

"Because he made the mistake of challenging an orc."

"O.O!" said Rumil. "What a dolt."

"I know," smiled Feren. Rumil slapped him on the back.

"Wait," he said. "Where is he?"

"Upstairs in his room."

"But orcs aren't allowed in Lothlorien," exclaimed Rumil.

Feren shrugged.

"I have to report that," said Rumil.

"Well, I certainly won't stand between you and your convictions," said Feren. "But there isn't a hurry, is there?"

Rumil smiled.

"Feren," he said. "As a rule, nobody likes you. But I have to say you are useful at times."

"Lindir likes me," said Feren.

"Cuz he has to."

"That's something. Give him about ten minutes. First, I believe there has been a breach of the no-swimming laws down by the river."

"What?" asked Rumil. "Who?"

"Go and see," said Feren.

Rumil went off, and Feren went up to get Pippin and Merry ready for their recording.