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Chapter Forty Five
Carol was so overwhelmed that she was finding it hard to find her voice. Everyone seemed to be arguing at once. Buck was scolding Piper, Damon and Sophia were trying to assure June and Odin that Piper had been joking and Merle and Daryl looked like they were going to rip each others heads off, yelling over her. She hadn't wanted him to find out like this. She certainly wanted him to have a little time to process it before the whole family found out. She did feel guilty keeping it from Merle. He was right when he said that he had been the one to take care of her while Daryl was gone. But how could she tell him before she told Daryl? Whether Daryl was there or not, it was his baby.
"Can you all please just give us a minute?" She asked quietly.
Despite the low volume of her voice they all seemed to hear her. All eyes were resting on her now and then Buck started ushering them out. Merle met her eyes before he turned but she had to look away. She hadn't known that it was possible to hurt the man but she had. She could see it in the way he looked at her.
Once the door was closed and it was just her and Daryl she wasn't even sure what to say.
"Can you believe that asshole?" Daryl muttered, leaning against the table and crossing his arms over his chest.
"Yes, I can," she said quietly.
He looked up at her. "What? You blame me too? Look, I did what I did to Dave before I was ready to straighten my shit up, okay? I didn't go out looking for trouble after..."
She nodded. "I know that. You would have been here if you could have been but maybe I should have just told you both. You know how many nights he stayed at that apartment? He held my hair back when I threw up. He sat with me when I couldn't sleep. He forced me to eat. He checked up on me three or four times a day while I was at work. Daryl, he stayed true to his word. You asked him to look after me while you were in there and he did more than you could have imagined. He should have known. You both should have known. This isn't your fault or his. This is my fault. But don't be mad at him, okay? Be mad at me."
"Or my damn self," he said with a shake of his head.
She sighed and leaned into him, grabbing his face and forcing him to look at her. "You can't blame anybody for the things that's happened. Things happened because I was forgetful and you were careless and I think that it all happened because it was suppose too happen. It was like a storm that kind of got out of control, and when a storm rages on like ours did, the levee's gonna break."
"My God," he said, looking up. "You have been around Merle a lot. You just quoted Led Zeppelin."
She smiled. "So you really aren't upset about this? About having a baby with a woman that's seven years older than you and you've only spent a little over a week with?"
He shook his head. "No. Scared to death, but not upset about it. Did you think I would be?"
She shrugged. "I don't know. I knew you wouldn't abandon it or anything. I just wasn't sure that you would want the whole package."
He huffed out a breath and scooted further onto the table, pulling her so she was positioned between his legs. "I told Buck that I wanted that place before I ever knew there was a chance you would get knocked up. I've been a fuck up for long enough. I wanted you." He shrugged. "Now I want you both. All three of you."
She choked up at that. It was the most sincere she had ever seen him. He looked eager for her to understand and she wanted too but it wasn't easy. Her life up until this moment hadn't exactly been easy. She wasn't used to things being so good. All those years with Ed had jaded her. Her whirlwind relationship with Daryl had been more painful than not, considering he hadn't actually even been there for most of it. And she had spent months dreading him learning about the baby. "Okay," she said, tentatively agreeing to do what he wanted her to do.
"Okay, what?" He asked.
"I want to move into that house."
"No shit?"
"None."
He nodded. "You sure?"
"Yeah. I really hate that apartment and Sophia does too. You wouldn't believe how bad it is."
He laughed. "Yeah I would. Merle bitched about it every time I talked to him but I didn't wanna give you any shit. I figured I would give you enough when I got out."
She watched him closely and he seemed to be taking all of this in stride. But there was still a few things she needed to say to him and this was something else that made her nervous. But she had to get it out in the open before they moved any further. Before she packed up her daughter and moved into the house with him. "You know that I love who you are. I wouldn't try to change you."
He waited her out, not saying anything.
"I know enough to know that you've gotten used to living a certain way. I want you to make sure that you understand that if we do this, then this is it for you. No running off and... banging random women in that room upstairs. If you want to be with me then you have to be with me. No welcome home threesomes."
He scowled. "Come on. Are you serious? I wouldn't do anything like that. And what the hell are you talkin' about, welcome home threesomes?"
She raised a brow. "Merle and I were having breakfast and these two women approached him asking about you. They mentioned that the two of them wouldn't mind getting together and... giving you something they knew you'd like." She couldn't help but make a face.
He looked confused for a few seconds. "I don't know who it could have been," he said, sounding like he was being honest.
"Daryl, if you've done so much that you can't remember a night with two women then I'm scared that you're gonna lose interest in what I can offer you really fast. Really? You don't remember?"
He snorted. "Ain't you ever heard of sowing wild oats? I'm over all that."
"I sow my wild oats every time I sleep with you. I've been with one man my entire life. You."
He cocked an eyebrow. "Carol, you've got the sweetest stuff I've ever dipped into but I think Sophia is proof that you weren't no virgin when we met."
Her face flushed. "I said you're the only man I've been with. Ed is swine. Good grief, Daryl. And Merle mentioned something about a hot dog down a hallway after those girls walked away. That ring a bell?"
"Oh God." He looked a little sick. "Those two are still runnin' around together? Yeah, I remember now. The mammoth cave twins is what I called them in my head. Goddamn, what was wrong with me?"
She smiled. "You hadn't met me yet."
He shook his head. "That's probably it." He pulled her closer, his lips meeting hers quickly. "I gotta go talk to my brother. I said some shit that-"
"Can I talk to him first?" She asked quickly. She really did owe Merle an apology. "I really need to tell him how sorry I am."
He sighed but nodded, pushing her back so he could get up. "I'll send him in. Don't let him give you any shit."
"I never do," she grinned.
He left the room then, off to find his brother. She wasn't sure what she was going to say to him but she owed him. She owed him big. He hadn't had to do anything that he had done for her but he was always there. She didn't know exactly when but it went from him doing his brother a favor to him actually giving a damn about her and that was important to her. She had never had much as far as family went except for Sophia. Merle had been the brother she had never had. Buck doted on her without even knowing she was carrying his grandchild. June, with her compassion and understanding was like a sister to her.
Merle stomped in, slamming the door behind him. "I should kick your ass, you know that?"
Her eyes widened and she nodded, biting her lip. He was angry and she didn't blame him but she hated that his anger was pointed at her. "I'm so sorry I didn't tell you," she said, unable to keep her eyes from growing wet and her voice from shaking.
He huffed and crossed the room, stopping just a foot away from her. "I get it. You needed to tell him and you couldn't. He'd have lost his fuckin' mind in there knowing that. But goddamn it, me and Buck was sure that whatever was wrong was gonna kill you. We really didn't know if you was gonna even make it till he got out. You know how fuckin' scary that was? Buck even made arrangements for Sophia to make sure if anything happened to you she would be with us and not Ed. We thought we were fuckin' losin' you."
A tear slipped down her cheek and he brushed it away quickly with his thumb. It wasn't the first time he'd done this. She had a feeling that it wouldn't be the last. "I know. It wasn't right. I just didn't know what to do."
He gave her a stiff nod. "I know."
"Are you still mad?"
He sighed but then his large hand cupped the back of her head and he pulled her into his chest. She wrapped her arms around him tightly. "I cleaned up puke for you, asshole. Hell yeah I'm mad. I still shoulda known. Fuck, I guess I shoulda guessed. I just didn't know you would be that goddamn irresponsible. You're old enough to know better, you know."
She laughed. "You would think."
"Daryl still pissed at me?" He asked gruffly.
She shook her head. "I think he might be mad that you said that his baby was yours but he'll be alright. I think now he just feels bad."
His raspy chuckled rumbled under her ear. "Yeah, well, he deserved it."
She pulled back enough so she could look up at him. "Do you think he'll cheat on me?"
He frowned. "Hell no. That boys so goddamn outta his head in love with you he'd chop his dick off and smack himself in the face with it before he'd go off and stick in anybody else."
She grimaced. "Merle, you're so disgusting. But thank you."
He grinned and then his lips pressed against her forehead as he draped his arms over her shoulders. "Any time, little sister.