Disclaimer: Don't own anything, yo~
A/N: Longest chapter yet. Thanks for all the follows too, there's like 50+ of you! Proper A/N at the bottom.
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Chapter 6: Revelations
We stared at each other for a long time, each of us trying to discern if the other was playing some kind sick joke.
It wasn't funny.
"I don't have a sister."
"What do you mean? I'm standing right here." I said. Then I had an idea, a kernel of hope that made my heart lift. "Are you angry with me? I'm so sorry, I didn't know what was happening."
So mad that you're pretending that I don't exist… I thought, holding her gaze. Please let that be the reason. Please let it be something I can fix. Please, please, please, please!
I was the first to turn away, staring out into the dim daylight that had managed to filter through the overcast sky weakly. There was not a spot of blue in the sky to be seen and the clouds stretching to the horizon were roiling in upon themselves, blotting into an inky grey. It was only a matter of time before it would rain.
Kurenai's brow furrowed as she looked at me, the confusion clear on her face. Not even Kurenai could fake that look of genuine bewilderment. I felt my heart sink to the pit of my stomach like a heavy weight. She truly didn't know who I was. I thought to back that moment of euphoric pain yesterday when the hands had dived into her brain, remembering the way they had plucked and rearranged the strings in her head. They had rewired her brain from the inside. I had never heard of any genjutsu doing that before.
"Gomen, nee-san," Kurenai said, shifting uncomfortably on her mattress. "I think you have mistaken me for someone else."
No. No no no no no. This couldn't be happening. How could this be happening? Mama and Papa had said that she was fine! They had lied! Why would they lie to me?
To keep you away from Kurenai.
But why?
They don't want you to hurt her again.
It had been an accident! I hadn't meant to! It wasn't my fault! Mama and Papa had said so.
Didn't you just call them liars?
Kurenai shifted on her bed again, drawing my gaze back to her. What on earth had just happened? How had my life come to this?
I rubbed at my eyes harshly with the back of my hand in an attempt to banish the prickling in my eyes. I wasn't even supposed to be here. Not in this room, this situation, this life. "I-I'm sorry. My mistake." I managed to croak out, spinning on my heel and fleeing the room before she could say something to stop me. Which she didn't.
I raced down corridors and around corners, dodging past patients and medical personnel alike. It didn't matter where I ended up, I couldn't handle the magnitude of what had happened. The magnitude of what I had done to Kurenai.
What had I done to Kurenai?
Realistically, I couldn't have been running for more than a few minutes, but what felt like a long time, each step making me feel older than I should feel. My foot suddenly slipped out from under me and I was sent tumbling across the floor, coming to a halt on my back, staring up at the ceiling.
I really needed to work on breaking my falls – rather than my butt and back.
Staring up at the ceiling, I tried to think of other things that would usually bother me, like, missing out on a day of Academy classes, or what the hospital staff thought of a five year-old girl sprinting through the hospital like a bat out of Hell. But it didn't work. My thoughts kept being drawn back to that horrible moment when I had damaged a part of my sister that I wasn't sure would ever return.
"Why are you on the floor?"
I sat up quickly, my heart pounding and my face flushing. I hadn't heard anybody approach.
A blond haired woman in her mid-thirties wearing a white lab coat and holding a clipboard stood over me, her expression stern and disapproving. She looked familiar but I couldn't place her face, perhaps she was one of the medics I had run into in my flight from Kurenai's room.
I swallowed audibly. I hoped not, for my sake.
"Well? Are you going to answer? Or am I going to have to bludgeon the answer out of you?" She snapped, lifting her clipboard threateningly.
I scurried backwards until my back was pressed against the wall, breathing heavily.
There was a familiar tickling sensation at the back of my head, like an itch that just could not be scratched. A sudden fear clutched at my heart. It was happening again, wasn't it? The hands were back, taunting me with their presence at the back of my mind.
The itching sensation began to spread.
Crying out, I grasped my head in between my hands, scratching at my scalp furiously. I knew what to expect after the last time it had happened and I thought that if it ever happened again I would be able to handle it better. But there was just so much pain that I couldn't even see straight. It felt tiny bugs were crawling just under the skin of my scalp as the hands uncoiled within my head, awakening like a pit of snakes.
They dragged themselves forward by anchoring their fingernails in my brain – each anchor feeling like a tiny knife being stabbed into my head. They were going to hurt someone again, and I could feel their bloodlust as they sought an escape from my head to claw at the mind of the blond woman in front of me. To render and dismantle. Just like they had done to Kurenai.
My itching intensified as the hands slid faster and faster towards my eyes, my finger becoming slippery and graceless in my ineffectual scratching.
Kurenai…
No. I wouldn't let it happen again. I had to beat this thing – for Kurenai.
I clenched my eyes closed and clapped my hands over both my ears just as the hands crawled into my eyes.
I could feel them behind my eyelids, more and more of them trying to pry open my eyes. My body began to shake with the sheer effort of keeping them contained within myself. I wanted to just give up. Maybe if I gave up the pain would go away.
Think of Kurenai.
The pressure behind my eyelids grew to painful proportions and I was afraid that my eyes would explode when it continued to grow further. I could tell now that there weren't as many hands now as there had been the first time they'd made themselves known in my head – far less. How could I possibly hope to manage this ability when I could barely contain a fraction of the power I'd wielded before?
For Kurenai.
I had to keep them back—but I couldn't. I wanted to be in control—but I wasn't strong enough. I didn't want to give up—but… I was afraid.
Kurenai…
My eyes opened.
The hands froze.
I stared at the blond medic in front of me, her fingers pressed against my forehead and pushing a steady flow of chakra into my head. The hands flailed ineffectually and tried to find purchase to continue their onward trek but the blond woman's chakra kept pushing them back, back, back. To the back of my mind the hands retreated, then further, down my brainstem until I couldn't feel them anymore and the pain in my head stopped abruptly.
Wide-eyed, I stared at her. How had she down that? It takes someone of exceptional chakra control to push ones chakra into another's mind – a large reason why genjutsu experts were so rare.
"You," the blond woman began, straightening to her feet, "have some explaining to do."
I remained silent as she steered me back towards my room, content to count the number of tiles we walked over rather than focus on anything else. It seemed to only take a minute for the blond woman to lead me back inside my room. The door closed behind us, and she gently shoved me towards the bed. I sat down on the edge of the mattress, my hands shaking.
I… I had lost control. Again. Just like I had with Kurenai. This could have been Kurenai all over again. I had tried to hold back the flood of hands – I had even managed to hold them off for a precious few seconds, but I couldn't find any particular part of that as a cause for celebration. If it hadn't been a this particular woman who had found me… If it had been anyone else…
They would have ended up like Kurenai. Or worse.
That's why I couldn't feel even a tiny bit pleased that I had had the will to fend them off. The amount of hands that had been present just moments ago was just a drop in the bucket compared to the sheer number that had risen during their attack on Kurenai. If I couldn't even hold a droplet off for more than a minute, how was it ever going to be possible for me to control this ability – this kekkai genkai – in its entirety?
You don't.
"You should lie down," the blond medic said, moving to the foot of my bed to review my charts.
I gazed idly down at my feet, wriggling my toes, but remained silent.
The blond woman glanced up from the clipboard, eyes narrowing. "What are you, deaf? Explain, brat!"
I swallowed noisily and scratched at my forehead, but kept my gaze downcast. I heard her sigh and move towards me. She sat down on the mattress beside me. We stayed like that for a while, each of us in our own respective thoughts – imagining, pondering, praying for a future that would turn out better than our pasts. It was exactly a companionable silence, but it was comfortable enough that I didn't mind.
"You…" I began after a period of time. "You're Tsunade, aren't you? One of the Sannin, and granddaughter of the Shodai Hokage." And the future Godaime Hokage. Though it was phrased like a question, I spoke it as though it were already a matter of fact. Because I knew it was she. I still remembered her from the Naruto anime I used to watch when I was alive – the first time. I couldn't remember everything about that time but I remembered this – I remembered her.
She looked at me in surprise, though I suspect that it was due to the fact that I had spoken rather than because I had known who she was. She was the Shodai's granddaughter, after all. Everyone knew of Tsunade-hime – and her gambling habits.
One quality the Village boasted about, the other – not so much.
"That's correct," she replied. "And you're the Yūhi brat."
"Yes. Ayaka." I introduced myself.
Silence reigned once again.
"The mark will stay for a while until the Hokage organises for a better Seal to be placed upon you." Tsunade said, reaching out and pulling my hand away from my forehead. I hadn't noticed that I had still been scratching my forehead.
"You put a Seal on me?" I asked, reaching up with my other hand to rub the tingling skin of my forehead.
"Yes, your chakra was out of control. The Seal isn't perfect but it'll do until a Seal master can come up with a suitable alternative. What was that chakra?"
I couldn't say it – couldn't admit to my family's ability. I should tell her everything, I knew that, but I didn't want to.
"It… It's the reason I hurt my sister," I muttered, gaze dropping to the floor once more. "I didn't mean to but… I had no choice. Just like I nearly hurt you."
"You had no control," she surmised.
I shrugged. "I guess. But it didn't feel like normal chakra. It was strange – and scary. It just appeared and I couldn't hold it back…"
Tsunade shifted closer. "Perhaps the reason why it doesn't feel like chakra is because it isn't?" She enquired. "I noticed it was pulling from your regular chakra reserves earlier, but it wouldn't be correct to say that what was happening was a jutsu…"
"Then what could it be?"
"An ability of some sort, most likely. Possibly kekkai genkai?"
I sighed bitterly and looked down at my feet. "That's what Mama and Papa think." I admitted, sullen.
"And what do you think?" Tsunade asked.
"I… A-ano… I don't know what to think except that it scares me." A realisation struck me. "And… and I want to control it."
My head shot up as Tsunade laughed, placing a hand on my head and mussing my hair. "You're alright, for a brat." She laughed, straightening to her feet. "But maybe you'd be better off without it, seeing as what happened to your sister."
She was right, of course. A shinobi who had no control over their abilities wasn't just a liability on the battlefield, but a very real threat to the village too. And Kurenai… Kurenai had been hurt by it. It may have been an accident, but it had still happened. And it had nearly happened to Tsunade too, the most skilled medic-nin in the Five Nations.
The greatest medic-nin…
Something very obvious just occurred to me. "Tsunade-sama?"
"Hmm?"
"My sister… could you take a look at her? Fix her?" I tried to keep the hope out of my voice, I really did. But by her sudden pained expression I knew that I had been pitifully transparent.
"Your sister…?"
"Yes."
The blond-haired Sannin sighed and looked distinctly uncomfortable. "I've already checked on your sister. I was there when she woke up. Physically, your sister is fine; there were no contusions, concussions or cerebral swelling. There wasn't any indication that there was anything wrong with your sister at all – until she woke up and your parents realised that she could remember everything except you."
Except me? I thought, feeling my stomach twist bitterly. She remembers everything except me?
I suppose I should have known, but I was only a hairbreadth away from having a complete and total mental breakdown. I felt like I had aged twenty years in the last twenty-four hours – well, on top of the other years I had from before.
I could see the questions in Tsunade's eyes, that scientific curiosity seemingly innate to all scientists, no matter what world you lived in. That inner fire for discovery. She wanted to ask how I had managed to erase all aspects of my existence from my sister so cleanly, so precisely, without even meaning to.
I'm certain that if it were her choice, if she were calling the shots, she would have had me studied and try to ascertain the basis of this ability and how it could be controlled. It's what Chelsea would have done. But the estimated risk of me causing more damage than the ability was worth was just too high.
To someone like her, though, I wasn't a worry. To anyone above chūnin, I was probably not a threat. But to my fellow classmates and untrained civilians, I had the potential to cause immeasurable damage.
That's why it would be necessary to Seal it away.
But it didn't change the complete desolation I was feeling – like I was completely alone in this new world. My mother and father could forget me just as easily as Kurenai had. What would I do if I lost them?
Who would I be, if I lost them?
"I'm sorry, Ayaka-chan. There is nothing I can do for her now. I'm sure the Yamanaka's and some of the sensor-nin's will look into it, but I can't promise you anything." Tsunade said, crouching down to look me in the eyes. "Perhaps—"
I didn't want her pity – nor her empty promises. It wasn't what I deserved. I deserved hatred – not kindness. I wanted to feel hurt – blamed. I blamed myself, so why couldn't she? I wanted every part of me – the hands in my head included – to know that what had happened to Kurenai was not okay. That I was not wicked through and through. That, deep down, I was a good person.
I didn't want her understanding.
"Don't you have lives to save or something?" I said, more sharply than I intended. "Or do you get paid to waste your patients' time?"
Tsunade's back stiffened at my rudeness. She shot me a stern, disapproving look before she strode out of the room without another word.
And I was alone.
.
.
It was the way they looked at me now. I hadn't noticed it earlier that afternoon when I had woken up in that hospital bed, but I noticed it now. It was awkward. Our relationship had never been strained or awkward before, not to this degree. They would glance at me, but then look away quickly as if afraid to hold my gaze. Almost like they were afraid of me. It frightened me. I frightened me.
My parents…
They had woken me up in my hospital room in the middle of the night, giving me a bundle of clothes to get changed into and urging me to be fast and quiet. They hadn't offered me an explanation for barging into my room at such a late hour, nor had they apologised. And it had only taken me a silent, confused moment while getting changed to piece it together.
I must be going to see the Hokage to get the hands Sealed away.
I suppose it would explain why both Mama and Papa were so keen to get me out the door. What confused me was the secrecy. Why bother doing this in the middle of the night? The Hokage's office in the administrative division of the Academy was protected night and day; it would be impossible for anyone to listen in to any conversations within those walls. This was supposed to be a simple Sealing, not a secret S-rank mission that required stealth under the cover of darkness within my own village.
The sense that my own village might not be as safe as I thought scared me a little.
My parents steered me out of the hospital towards the Academy and the Hokage's office – looks like my assumption was right. I thought I would have had to wait longer for a fūinjutsu master to be available to Seal away the hands – a few days at least.
I wonder if we're being tailed by ANBU… The thought sent a shiver up my spine and I glanced around warily, catching Mama's attention.
"What's the matter, Ayaka?" She questioned quietly, stooping slightly so that I could hear her. Papa turned marginally from where he was marching on ahead of us, setting the route to the Hokage's office.
They were both watching me intently – studying me – looking for any indication that I might go crazy and start messing with their minds. Their distrust and wariness wounded me in a way that I had never expected possible. But I couldn't blame them.
I looked to the ground and kept walking, shaking my head. "Nothing," I muttered. Papa spared me another glance before turning his back to us. To me. I tried not to take it personally… but I did. Because it hurt.
Suck it up, Ayaka. An unwelcome voice in my head said. Shit happens. Put on your big girl panties and soldier on.
Sighing through my nose, we continued on without any further interruptions.
Well, not quite.
Walking around in a shinobi village – especially at night – isn't all fun and games. There are always ninja silhouettes flitting from shadow to shadow in the streets, and jumping from roof-top to roof-top during the night. It was frightening for civilian's to roam the streets at night. Safe – but frightening.
We were almost stopped twice before reaching the Academy, but Papa would usher Mama and I into a convenient alleyway and hide us, or otherwise place a genjutsu on the shinobi so his eyes would just skim right over us. The amount of effort we had to put into hiding our presence was making me anxious – it was definitely over the top.
The large, round moon sat heavy and bright in the sky, casting long shadows that seemed to creep closer and closer towards my feet with every passing glance I made. In truth, the moon was full, and I remembered the silhouette of a certain shinobi crouched on a spire in front of it, dressed in an ANBU uniform after just killing his entire clan.
Itachi Uchiha.
I knew from my rough estimation of where I was born into the timeline that the Uchiha massacre would not happen for many more years into the future, but perhaps with careful planning and preparation I could… Could what? Prevent the massacre? Let the Uchiha mutiny take place? Save Itachi the heartache and kill the Uchiha clan off myself? What a joke.
I bit back another sigh before it left my lips and looked up. We were at the Academy – or rather, the administrative division based within the Academy building. I had never entered through this entrance before – I had never had any reason to. The Academy students entered from the other side of the building and, although it was one building, there was very little interaction between the two departments.
There could be no avoiding the people within the building, with there being only one entrance and no shadows or alleyways to hide down in the brightly lit corridors of the building. Papa strode purposefully through the lobby of the building towards the stairs, Mama ushering me along quietly. As could be expected, there weren't many people still here at this late an hour, but there were still some. They didn't spare us a second glance as they went about their particular jobs and activities.
The Hokage's office was situated on the top floor of the Academy building, and there were two things I noticed as we rounded the last corner and the office door came into view.
Sakumo and Kakashi.
They were standing outside the door to the office and I almost stopped short in surprise, but Mama's gentle but firm hand on my shoulder pushed me onwards. Not sure of how else to greet them, I waved.
Sakumo's eyes crinkled and his lips lifted into that smile I was so very fond of, raising a hand a giving me a short wave back. In complement to this, Kakashi didn't bat an eyelid, but rather observed me coolly. He really was acting like such an ingrate – which was a shame because he'd been one of my favourite characters in the anime.
Oh well. There's still time. Maybe.
"Sakumo-san," Mama greeted, moving forward and falling into step with Papa. "What are you doing here?"
It was a little late to be making an overt and honest audience with the Hokage, and, even if that were the case, such clandestine meetings wouldn't be organised so close in time together where we would see them leaving. So why on earth were they here?
"Did you have a meeting with the Hokage?" Papa frowned; no doubt following my line of thought to a T. Papa glanced at his watch. "You must have gone overtime because we're here right on time for our appointment."
Which more or less translated from ninja-speak to: Don't speak of our late-night visit and we won't speak of yours.
"Kurei, Kagura-san, Ayaka-chan." He greeted pleasantly, seemingly at ease with the tense expressions of my parents. "The Hokage actually invited us to be present for the meeting, no idea why. We were just waiting outside for you to show up." He was straight to the point, trying to set my parents anxieties at ease. I appreciated it.
Actually, it felt good to see him, to know that he was alive and well. Even though my own parents were becoming wary of me, Sakumo just seemed to want to treat me the same as he always had. I didn't want that to change. I cared for him a lot. And although this admission was true, I still surprised myself by dashing past my parents and glomping him.
There was a stunned silence for a moment, before I felt his warm hand press against the top of my head in a gesture of affection. Blushing, I stepped back quickly, quickly glancing at Kakashi. He was definitely treating me the same, staring at me with dull disinterest.
Something's just never change, I guess.
"Sakumo-sama, Kakashi-kun." I said, by way of greeting. "It's good to see you both again."
"Likewise," Kakashi replied flatly.
I stared at him. His rudeness was contemptible, and I wanted nothing more than to smack him in the face. He was arrogant, and proud, and his manners were appalling. And… and he was staring back at me. Last time he'd barely had the nerve to look me in the eye, and had spent most of his time staring at his feet. But this time was different.
He stared at me, and I stared back. Did he ever take off his mask? And would it kill him to push a quick brush through his hair? Maybe learn how to talk and associate with society in general? I couldn't comprehend why he was being such a dick. Dammit, why was he even here? I didn't need him here. I didn't want him here!
Me, me, me. It's all you ever think about, isn't it?
This was larger than me. Sure, this meeting with the Hokage was certain to be about the hands, but that didn't mean that I was the only person involved in this mess. I could have an impact on the larger community – the public. How would it look to other villages if a five year old girl began killing or injuring her fellow citizens? The Sandaime was known for being wise and benevolent, but not even he would be able to stop the execution order that would undoubtedly come down from the Elders.
Weirdly enough, I didn't feel scared by that.
Following an odd impulse, I stuck out my tongue at him with a "nyehh!" and stomped past him. I faintly heard Sakumo and Papa's amused chuckles, and Mama's gasp of incredulity at my manners, or lack thereof. Obviously Kakashi was rubbing off on me.
Ugh. Gross.
.
.
We entered the Hokage's in a cluster of arms and legs. Or rather, Kakashi and I did. Kakashi had tried to enter the Hokage's office first, and I, being in a bad mood, had made to beat him through the door. What ensued was the aforementioned tangle of limbs and the uttering of profanities that I'm not proud of knowing the meaning of, shortly before I landed on flat on my face before the Hokage's desk.
I really did know how to make an entrance.
"Hello there," an older man with a greying goatee said pleasantly, sitting at the Hokage's desk. "You must be Ayaka." He seemed mildly amused by me.
The Hokage.
I scrambled to my feet, my face flushing. God, I was such an idiot, racing into the room like a brat. I risked a glance at Kakashi, but found him as unruffled as a rock. The bastard.
"Yes, Hokage-sama," Papa said. I felt his hands fall on both my shoulders behind me. "This is my daughter."
The Sandaime surprised me with a kind smile. "It's very nice to meet you, Ayaka – may I call you Ayaka? You know who I am, don't you?"
Every man and his dog in Konohagakure know who you are, old man.
"Yes, of course. And you are the Lord Hokage, Hokage-sama."
The Third Hokage smiled again briefly before his eyes shifted to something at the side of the room. I followed his gaze.
I jumped, muffling a squawk with my hands. Tsunade and Jiraiya stood to the side of the room, observing.
"I'm aware that you have already met Tsunade, but the man beside her is Jiraiya."
Jiraiya stepped forward, grinning. "Nice to meet you, kid. I hear you've been raising all kinds of hell—Gah!" He was interrupted by a sharp jab to the ribs from Tsunade.
Clasping my hands together nervously, I bowed. "It's nice to meet you," I greeted Jiraiya. "I'm sorry for my rudeness to you earlier, Tsunade-sama. I was out of line." It was probably in my best interests to make amends with the future Godaime Hokage.
"It's fine," Tsunade said, and I'm certain I heard her mutter 'brat' under her breath.
"Lord Hokage, with all due respect, why are we here?" Sakumo spoke up.
"Hatake is correct, we'd best move straight to point," the Third Hokage began. "As I'm sure you can guess the reason why you're all here is because of this little lady in front of us."
I flushed again under his gaze as he turned toward me, but steeled myself not to look away. He seemed to find my resolve amusing as his lips tilted upwards slightly.
"This is a debriefing," the Sandaime said, shoulders straightening and features turning serious. "All present have – to some extent or another – been made aware of Ayaka's… unusual ability. Before we begin, I just want everyone to be sure that what is discussed and done in this office today is to only remain in this office. Anyone gossiping will be dealt with harshly. Am I understood?"
There were muttered assents throughout the room. I wasn't sure if it was necessary but an assent left my lips regardless.
"Good." The Sarutobi nodded. "As I'm sure you know, an incident occurred yesterday afternoon, whereby Ayaka ability awoke for the first time and lashed out at her sister. Not much is known, currently, about the specifics of the ability but it's likely that it comes from her mother, Kagura's, clan."
Sakumo frowned. "You mean from the Kurama clan? The wielders of the genjutsu-based kekkai genkai?"
Tsunade stepped forward. "We can't know that for sure, sensei. The symptoms don't match up with those who inherit the Kurama kekkai genkai. I've never heard of a genjutsu that is capable of chronic associative amnesia."
"Actually, it might be." Mama supplied. "The Kurama clan's kekkai genkai can culminate in a variety of abilities – all relating to the manipulating the human mind. There was a history list of the abilities obtained through the years, but…" Mama bit her lip. "I'm no longer privy to such information anymore."
"Well, that would definitely be helpful in dealing with Ayaka's control," Tsunade said. She turned to face the Hokage again. "Will you be able to get it, sensei?"
"I'll see what I can do." Hiruzen replied. "The Kurama clan are becoming a little bit more cloistered these days, but I'm sure if I pressure them enough…" He sighed.
"I'm dangerous," I said sullenly, almost to myself.
Hiruzen looked at me sharply. "What makes you say that?"
I looked down at the floor, embarrassed. "I hurt my sister. I'm not in control of the hands, they go wherever they want and hurt whoever they want. I can't stop them, and neither can anyone else. That's why you want to Seal them away, right?"
"The 'hands'?" Jiraiya frowned. "Is that what you call you ability?"
"It's what they feel like. In my head." Long, skeletal fingers with yellowed ragged nails creeping and scratching and stabbing their way through my head…
Papa's grip on my shoulders tightened imperceptibly, giving me support.
"That's not it."
I spun around to face Kakashi, whose presence I had forgotten until just now.
"They won't Seal them away just because they're dangerous," he clarified, clearing his throat. "A kekkai genkai, any kekkai genkai, would be a precious commodity to the village. I would imagine that every effort to help learn control over your abilities would have to be exhausted before fūinjutsu is used as a last resort to contain the situation."
"So then this isn't about me," I realised, my eyebrows lifting in incredulity. I turned to the Hokage. "There's something more to this than you're telling, isn't that right, Hokage-sama?"
Hiruzen Sarutobi chuckled lightly, making eye contact with Sakumo and my parents. "You've raised a bright pair of kids here, they'll make fine shinobi."
I glanced behind me, noting Mama's warm smile and Papa's proud body language, both my parents showing their pride in me through different means.
They'll make fine shinobi… That phrase just felt so… wrong. To my family and I, being praised as being a 'fine shinobi' was a great honour, especially if recognised by the Hokage himself. But it just felt so wrong. A grown man complementing on what a good child soldier I'd make. I suppose I could chalk it up to my Old World morals – how children fighting wars is an abhorrent idea – but this wasn't that world. You'd think I'd know that by now. But every now and then, some random sentence or gesture would spark a feeling and impression that came from before I was born.
And I couldn't help but be disturbed that I would make my parents proud by being a fine child soldier.
"Yes, you are both right, but not completely." The Hokage explained. "Yes, I think that Sealing away Ayaka's abilities would be for the best, it would keep herself and others safe, but you're correct in your deduction that that is not the only reason that Ayaka's abilities will be Sealed away tonight. Again, I'll remind everyone here that this information will not pass outside these walls."
We murmured our agreement, once again.
"The other nations have always watched Konohagakure closely, being the first and largest Hidden Village on the continent provides us with this attention." There was nothing new to what he was telling me. Takahata-sensei had already provided us with a brief overview of where our Village stood amongst the others. The Hokage continued on, nonetheless. "We have an abundance of talented shinobi clans and kekkai genkai users, and, from time to time, another Village targets young children of notable talents to ascertain the basis of their abilities."
"You mean Kumogakure." Papa spat out the last word like it was poison.
"Yes, like Kumogakure," Hiruzen agreed. "But not just them. There have also been a series of missing child reports being made to the village, some of which are children of civilian families from distant Fire Country villages which would provide no obvious benefit to their village."
"So why steal children, then?" Kakashi's question echoed my own thoughts. Why would an enemy Village steal children that could serve no purpose? A civilian child would know none of the village secrets, nor could they be used as a hostage to extort a significant clan.
"Well, you see," Jiraiya began. "We're not entirely sure that they are being taken by the other villages…"
Papa heaved a deep breath. "I'd heard rumours but… I had hoped that was all they were…"
All of this sounded really familiar, but for the life of me, I could not remember. It was on the proverbial tip of my tongue.
"W-what does this have to do with me?" I asked. "You think that I might be taken?"
The Sandaime looked at me, his aged face one of kind sympathy. He didn't even have to put his answer into words – I already knew.
Hiruzen turned to Mama. "I think it would be best if she were moved to the care of you family, Kagura-san. She would be safest there."
Silence fell over the room before all hell broke loose.
"No! No way!" Mama said sharply, stepping forward aggressively. I'd never seen her react in such a way before – like a dangerous kunoichi. I wasn't sure if I should be awestruck or frightened. "My daughter is not going to those people!"
"You don't think we can protect our own child?" Papa face was hard, and his hands tightened on my shoulders again.
Your 'own child' is right in front of you… I hated when my parents talked about me like I wasn't even there.
"Calm down, Kurei…" Sakumo said, placing a placating hand on Papa's shoulder.
"No! No!" Papa snarled, shaking off Sakumo's hand. "This isn't Ayaka's fault! She shouldn't have to be taken away from us because of some arbitrary circumstance!" I couldn't believe he was behaving so… so… well, aggressive towards the Hokage. I felt relieved tears prick at my eyes as he confirmed my hopes that he and Mama still wanted me around – that they still loved me. Sure, I knew that they loved me, but with all the trouble I had caused with Kurenai I had thought – no, I had concluded that I was more trouble to them than I was worth.
And them acting like I was something that they didn't want to lose…
I loved them both so much…
"You're not thinking about this logically, Kurei-san, Kagura-san." Tsunade said calmly. "Kagura-san's clan can provide her with a level of security that you can't—" Jiraiya interrupted her with a subtle elbow to the side. "What? It's fact."
"This is because we're not recognised as a clan, isn't it?" Papa accused, hands clenching into fists. "The Yūhi's are just as much a clan as the Uchiha, or the… the Hatake's!"
Sakumo shifted uncomfortably beside us. I would be uncomfortable too, if I were him. Kakashi was watching my father's rage with wide eyes, like I had been just a second ago. I was still amazed – and frightened – that he was speaking to his superiors in such a manner. Mama seemed to have better control over herself, but was letting Papa take point on the argument.
"But the Yūhi family is not a clan," Hiruzen said sharply, holding up a hand to hold off another tirade from Papa. "And I cannot guarantee her safety should she stay in your care. Obviously," Hiruzen glared at Papa as he started to fume. "Obviously I can't force you to relinquish custody over her. But with the Kurama clan she would fall under their political patronage. The choice is yours."
"And you don't have to decide right now," Jiraiya added, likely hoping to placate my ruffled father.
"She's not going to be taken from her family. Ayaka stays with us," Papa said determinedly.
"Maybe just think about it for—"
"We're keeping our daughter," Mama reiterated. "And we're not changing our minds."
It was nice that they didn't want me to go. But what did I think? I wasn't sure. I wanted to stay with Mama and Papa and Kurenai, but something told me that our family dynamic would never quite be the same again and a part of me didn't want to stick around to see how badly I'd screwed our family up.
"Well, isn't this just precious," drawled a velvet-y voice behind us – a voice that I recognised and sent a shock of cold slicing down my spine.
I turned slowly, hesitatingly. That voice, those kidnappings and abductions, they triggered the realisation that I'd been struggling to make earlier. And as I turned I begged that it wasn't him, that I hadn't come to his notice and drawn his attention.
But as luck would have it, I was wrong.
The final member of the Sannin had arrived.
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A/N: Before you start the hate (though it's really love, right?) I have been CRAZY-BUSY with assignment and stuff and managed to squeeze this chapter out on the fly. I had more planned for this chapter but at nearly 7000 words I felt like I should stop and update what I had written. I've only written, like, 600 words for the next chapter so give me around two to three weeks and I'll (hopefully) have it done.
But still, sorry for the wait.
Plus, you guys have been so patient that I figured you deserved to know I'm still alive.
Let me know what you think of the chapter, it helps production. Seriously. :)
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Interesting but useless information about the author and other stuff:
The colour our eyes see in total darkness isn't black, it's actually a shade of grey named "Eigengrau".
Crows can recognise individual human faces, and will warn/teach other crows of specific individuals they find threatening.
For Lent (a Christian/Catholic traditional period lasting 40 days) I gave up soft drink (Coke, Pepsi, etc.), but I broke that promise about six times. I'm so weak D:
When someone tickles you, the laughter is a panic response. You can't tickle yourself because your body doesn't sense any real danger.
Due to name confusion, staff of the Slovak and Slovenian embassies meet once a month to exchange wrongly addressed mail.
The word "checkmate" in chess comes from the Persian phrase "Shah-Mat", which means "the king is dead".
A Koala bear sleeps 22 hours every day.
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Wow. I'm so boring. Only one fact about me today. Oh well, maybe you guys could come up with some questions for me *grins*
Please review.