A/N: *cowers in fear and shame* I'm sorry. Don't hate me. *POPS UP AND WAVES EXCITEDLY AND SMILES* I CAME BACK! I want to thank everyone for reading and reviewing and sticking with the story even if I had was AWOL these last two weeks. I know, I know, it was cruel leaving you waiting, but I promise I had good reasons (I.e. I was lead in musical and we were performing, practices up the yang, dislocation of toes and other body parts, sickness, etc, etc, etc). BUT THE IMPORTANT THING IS... I still love you all even if you kind of hate me. Enjoy. :)
~R.
Emma sat in her yellow bug, staring herself in the eye through her rearview mirror.
"You can do this Swan," she reassured herself, repeating what Ruby had told her before she left. "You look hot. Regina obviously likes you. You obviously like Regina, if earlier today was anything to go by. You should probably get out of your car and stop talking to yourself before Regina catches you looking like a weirdo," the blonde finished her pep-talk with a laugh.
The blonde extended a hand and opened the car door. It squeaked slightly- she'd have to get that fixed soon. Stepping out of the car, the woman thanked her lucky stars that she had chosen flats for the long night that surely stretched before her.
Emma crossed the street before bounding up the stairs to the mansion she had made dinner in the week prior. She smiled at the wonderful memories and rapped lightly on the door.
Before she had a chance to think about the upcoming chat she and Regina were about to have, the door swung wide open and revealed a nervously smiling brunette in a tight, curve-hugging, black dress.
"Hello, dear," the brunette leaned in and planted a small peck to the corner of Emma's lips.
So she isn't upset over this morning, Emma sighed internally. Praise Jesus.
"I'm going to have to take you out more often, Reggie," Emma's smile was as wide as it could ever get, her teeth shining in the light.
"Not that I disagree, Emma, but why?" Regina's matching smile made the student's heart stop.
"Well, I..uh... I mean.. I just thought you were beautiful when you were standing in the front if the classroom in your power suits, showing so much control, and I thought you were gorgeous when you were having dinner with Henry and I, showing how great of a mother you are, but now- Now you're breathtaking. You're wearing this sexy dress, and your makeup is perfect, and you're shaking ever-so-slightly because you're nervous, and- good God- you're breathtaking."
A deep blush worked it's way up the brunette's cheeks as she started at the woman in front of her. Was she really shaking? And how could the blonde have the courage to say such things, especially this early in their relationship. She wasn't sure of Emma's age just yet, but the way the blonde acted, the way she spoke, the things Regina saw in those emerald eyes, they all pointed to the blonde being more of an adult that most adults Regina knew.
When the brunette didn't reply right away, Emma leaned forward and wrapped her in a tight hug, stealing a kiss as she stepped back.
"So you wanted to talk, Reggie?"
"Yes," the brunette replied, stepping back from the door and allowing the blonde in. She was a little surprised at the hug, but didn't let it show on her face, in fear that Emma would read her wrong and never hug her again. "Come in, please."
The blonde did as she was asked, stepping through the opened door and following Regina through the house.
"Would you like something to drink, dear?" the brunette asked, peeking over her shoulder at the young woman following her.
"Water, please. I'd like to stay sober if I'm going to be driving around the most beautiful woman I know tonight."
Regina was thankful she was facing away from the blonde. The amount of times the blonde had made her blush in the last five minutes was embarrassingly high.
"Oh, really?" The brunette joked, trying to hide her embarrassment. "Is that your way of telling me you're canceling our date?"
Emma reached forward and grabbed the professor's wrist, spinning her around and pulling Regina into her arms. She knew Regina was kidding, but Emma wasn't going to let the brunette implant such thoughts into her head, "And miss a night with the most breathtaking woman I've ever met? Never." The blonde pulled the professor towards her and gently pressed their lips together, not missing the way Regina's hand raised and rested on the back of her neck. They pulled apart slowly, and Emma smiled wickedly at the brunette, "We'll just have to make more room for her in the back of the bug."
The professor's face turned from sweet bliss to shock in seconds. Her hand that previously rested on Emma's neck now slapped her on the shoulder, "I swear you have a knack for ruining every sweet moment."
"You're probably right," Emma agreed, laughing along with the brunette's melodious chuckle.
The two women made their way into the kitchen, Emma fighting the urge to let her eyes wander as Regina strode in front of her. Once there, Regina grabbed two glass tumblers out of her mahogany cupboards and placed them on the table.
"You said water, correct?" the professor questioned her guest. When she received her answer in the form of a nod, the brunette spun to the refrigerator and pulled out a pitcher of filtered water. She filled one glass before placing it back on the shelf. "I'm having something a bit stronger of you don't mind."
"You house, your drinks, your choice," Emma replied with a smile, accepting the glass of water while she watched as Regina held up a new bottle and filled the other glass to the brim. The brunette drained it all in a few gulps, and she reached for the bottle again.
"Whatcha having over there, Reggie?" The blonde questioned, genuinely curious as to what she may have to tell the ambulance crew if she let Regina keep drinking like this.
Bottle still raised and mid-pour, Regina looked over her shoulder at Emma and answered, "Hard apple cider. I make it myself. Are you sure you don't want any?"
The shake in the brunette's voice was impossible to miss, causing Emma to take action, "Reggie?"
The brunette drained her second drink, wincing slightly as she felt a light burn that followed the liquor down her throat, "Yes dear?"
Emma watched as Regina's hand once again reached for the bottle. This time the blonde was ready. With a swift move of her own hand, she caught the professor's wrist and pulled Regina's body into her arms.
"Perhaps you should slow down, Regina," she suggested in a gentle whisper, not wanting to upset the brunette. The last thing the couple needed tonight was for Regina to think Emma was judging her. That's not what this talk was about.
"But…"
"But nothing, Regina," Emma stared straight into her girlfriend's eyes. "You wanted to talk, and I'm here to listen. I want to listen. I want to hear and understand every word and syllable, and I can't do that if you're slurring your speech, can I?"
"I suppose not," the brunette conceded, casting her eyes downward. Emma waited for a few seconds, but Regina refused to meet her gaze.
"Reggie?" she prodded, but the brunette still didn't move. "Regina, look at me." Emma continued to look down as she felt movement against her chest. Regina was shaking her head no. "Regina," the blonde whispered, her voice full of sadness and understanding.
If she weren't listening so closely, Emma would have missed the brunette's words breaking through her quiet tears, "I'm sorry Emma. I can't."
Minutes passed by as Emma held her professor, wondering just what Regina wanted to talk about. What she couldn't talk about. Did she not love Emma back? Or was it something else entirely. Was there something she couldn't bear to live through again?
Finally the blonde thought of words that she hoped would combine with the soothing circles she was rubbing on the brunette's back and bring Regina out of this moment of pain, "And you don't have to. I've told you before, I'll never rush you into something you don't want. If this is something you don't want to do, you don't have to, but I'll still be here if you ever change your mind. Do you understand?"
The small body in Emma's arms shifted slightly as the woman nodded her head against the blonde's chest.
"Alrighty, then. What's your favorite movie?" Emma asked nonchalantly.
Finally, the woman brought her head up and her chocolate eyes met Emma's emerald ones, "I beg your pardon?"
"I asked what your favorite movie was. Like, what do you watch when you're down in the dumps?" the blonde gave her best smile, in hopes that Regina's mood would start to lighten. She reached down and gently used a hand to wipe the tears from Regina's face.
"Why?" the usually composed woman asked. "I thought we were going dancing?"
"Can we take a raincheck on that? I really just want to watch a movie and maybe hold you tonight?" Emma's sentence was formed as a question that she hoped Regina would agree to.
"But you're all dressed up, Emma," Regina argued, pulling away from the arms that held her. "I'm not going to let this ruin the night."
Watching the woman she loved retreat from her was like a stab in the chest, so the blonde fought back. "Maybe I don't want to go dancing anymore. Maybe I'd much rather hold you all night. That definitely would be more than a fair trade in my book."
"But, Emma, you-"
"I what? Want to make you know you're not alone. Want to make you feel like I'll still be here if you want me a million years from now, even if you can never tell me about whatever is happening in that beautiful brain of yours?" The blonde spread her arms out like an eagle's wings and looked her in the eye, "The only I want to do tonight is hold you, but that's only if you want me to."
"I want you to, I just-" the brunette stopped and walked back into the blonde's arms. "This isn't fair to you."
"What isn't?" The blonde questioned with a raised brow.
"You plan dates for me, you cancel them for me, you comfort me, you tell me you love me, and I can't even make myself explain to you that no matter how I feel inside about you, I cannot say it aloud, and yet you're still here. You're not angry. You're not upset. You're just here. You're just Emma standing in my kitchen, and accepting me for whomever I choose to be in whatever moment I choose to be it. It's just not fair to you."
"Things have never been fair to me, Regina," Emma pulled back to make eye contact with the woman in her arms, trying to let her know what she was saying was sincere. "Life has never been fair to me, Regina. But you?" Emma squeezed her arms tighter around the body that was held within them. She leaned down and kissed the crown of the woman's head before whispering in her ear,"You have been nothing but fair. You've been more than fair. You accepted me… and us… even though us being an 'us' is dangerous to you.
"So yes, Regina Mills, there are a lot of things that aren't fair to me, but every moment I get to spend with you makes up for that," Emma remained staring into the other woman's eyes, wanting so badly to wipe the tear that were falling from them, but not wanting to ruin this moment between them. Finally, the blonde found the strength to finish her speech, "Now, I want to hold you tonight, and before you said you'd like that, too, but I would understand if you wanted some time to think things over."
Emma watched as the brunette cleared her own tears from her face, and leaned her head towards the ground, so Emma wouldn't see her cry. Not wanting the professor to ever hide from her, the blonde reached out and cupped Regina's cheek, bringing her face back into view.
"What do you say, Reggie?" the blonde asked with a small smile, reassuring Regina that whatever she chose, Emma would respect it.
"I really like Frozen."
The blonde breathed a sigh of relief. Not only was Regina letting her stay, but the woman was suggesting a fun, light-hearted movie to pass their time.
"I've been wanting to see that one forever. I've heard it's great," Emma answered, squeezing Regina in a tight hug and pecking her on the lips. "I think I'm going to change before we start it, though."
"Change?" The brunette couldn't hide her confusion as she looked to the blonde with one eyebrow raised.
"Yeah. I have a duffel out in the car, and…" Emma trailed off seeing the amusement flash across her girlfriend's face. "What?"
"Someone was very confident in themselves tonight, weren't they?" Regina joked, a lightness flashing in her eyes and a smirk gracing her face.
Emma's face visibly paled before reddening deeply, and mumbling her next words, "I didn't want to put it in there, but Ruby said I should always be prepared."
"You're telling me you were going to take me dancing, possibly drinking, and you didn't have a single ulterior motive?" She watched the blonde shake her head. "You weren't even going to try to sleep with me, even if I was all over you? I do get a bit frisky when I drink, dear."
"While that last comment is definitely duly noted, no. I wouldn't have had sex with you. I don't care if you were sober, drunk, passed out, or totally begging for it. I would have slept next to you, hopefully, but nothing more."
Regina tried so hard to hold back a smile, but the tilt of the corners of her lips gave her away. Everything the blonde was saying that night made her heart swell to extreme measurements. Instead of acknowledging it, though, the brunette switched topics.
"Let's get one thing straight, my dear Emma," the professor pulled the girl in by her hips, flushing their bodies together and leaning in to whisper into the girl's ear. She let her warm breath flow over the shell of the blonde's ear, aiming to arouse the woman. "I never beg."
Spinning around like she hadn't just done the sexiest thing in the entire world, Regina swayed her hips and left the room, calling over her shoulder, "You'd better go get that bag, then. If you'd like to see the movie, that is."
"What. The. Holy. Hell?" Emma whispered to herself, shaking her head as she turned and walked back to the front door. She saw through Regina's act. She knew the sexy moments just now were an attempt to cover up the earlier trainwreck of emotion; an attempt to pretend the brunette's breakdown never happened. Emma was worried that the brunette would always try to hide herself behind smirks and innuendos, and eventually the blonde would have to stop her, but right now? Right now Regina's plan of distracting Emma with her sex appeal was definitely working.
The movie passed by, and Emma couldn't help but smile at the events that passed as well. Though the two women started on opposite sides of the couch- a bowl of popcorn resting between them- they soon met in the middle, and the popcorn was banished to the coffee table in front of them. Eventually Regina was snuggled into Emma's arms, head resting on her shoulder as she intently watched the movie.
While Regina was busy watching the movie, Emma was busy watching other things. The blonde had truly been wanting to see the movie ever since Ruby talked it up to her a few months prior, but even with it playing on a giant flatscreen TV, only feet in front of her, the blonde couldn't concentrate on it. Instead, she found her eyes glued on the gorgeous woman in her arms, taking in every smile, every laugh, every time the brunette mouthed along with a character's words. Regina must have loved Olaf the most, as she silently quoted almost all of his lines.
When the end credits rolled, Regina turned to face the blonde, who stared at her with nothing but pure adoration in her eyes. The look hit Regina deep within her heart.
"I think I'm ready," she whispered to the blonde. "I think I'm ready to talk about things with you."
The blonde nodded her head as a sad smile passed onto her lips. She leaned forward and placed a kiss on the brunette's forehead. "Take your time. I'll still be here holding you when you're finished."