Marley dress in profile

Also, I know I was a little dramatic with Ryder and Marley in her bedroom, but I felt like this was something Marley would do before leaving for 3 months.

46: Last Day.

Time to graduate. That is for the seniors, at least. I can't believe they graduated. I mean I've known them this year only and I know we will always be lifetime friends but it is going to be hard not seeing them in school again. Blaine's kindness, Sam's jokes and impressions, Brittany's optimistic views on life, Artie smiling and trying to help everyone and Tina. We had so many downfalls and, as much as I hate blaming people, if she ever stopped bitching in the past about everything from losing Sectional's to whatever else, I'd probably wouldn't of smoked cigarettes in the first place. But that was long ago and now this graduated Diva is going to Brown University. One of the best schools in America, being a member of an Ivy League school.

I had nothing like that. No chance of ever getting into Brown or NYADA or any school that would offer some sort of performance program/degree that would help me become closer to my dream job; being a singer on the radio.

It was also my last night with Ryder. I was leaving tomorrow morning sometime after breakfast and before Minnie left for work. I had to be on my own now; focus on myself and maybe either become a better person or realize that I'm more like my father than ever.

I had a dream, or nightmare, that I saw myself in New York totally drunk and sticking a hundred needles in my arms while smoking a joint in between the beer bottles, slowly becoming someone I knew I did't want to be. But I couldn't shake off the feeling that it could happen.

No. I'm not going to do that. I'm not doing to end up like Dad.

We arrived at Blaine's mansion size home, both Ryder and I, dressed semi-form as Blaine requested. Ryder in jeans and a white short sleeve shirt with a black vest. Me in a black lace dress with cap sleeve and black Mary Jane shoes. Ryder and I got in the middle of the dance floor that everyone was gathered around, almost all of the seniors in the school where on the dance floor, and started to dance.

Halfway into the party Ryder and I sat down with plates of all the foods offered at the buffet table. "This party is great!" Ryder shouted over the music.

"I couldn't agree more!" I yelled. "This is the best party I've attended in a while."

"At least there aren't drugs here...oh shit, there's Brett." Ryder pointed to the red hair boy, who looked stoned as usual. Ryder looked over at me with worrisome eyes.

I smiled. "No, I'm partying tonight!"

Ryder leaned in and pressed his lips against mine, making a deep almost passionate kiss. "Good, I'm proud! We can go see a movie next Friday night as a celebration, how's that?"

"Um, sure." I said trying to act cool. No date night. This is going to be our last one.

An hour into the party most of the New Direction kids had sang. Ryder's turn. He got up on stage, adjusted the microphone from Tina's height to his own, and turned to give the OK sign for the DJ to start. He already planned the song and said I would love it. He pulled me onto the stage, not caring that I was trying to stop myself from being embarrassed by everyone looking at us, and reassured my red blushing face that this was going to be amazing. The song began and I remembered it from Sadie Hawkins.

My love must be a kind of blind love
I can't see anyone but you

Ryder began slow dancing us together. My arms wrapped around his neck and his one arm wrapped around my waist; holding me tight as we moved side to side.

Are the stars out tonight?
I don't know if it's cloudy or bright
I only have eyes for you, dear

The moon may be high
But i can't see a thing in the sky
'cause i only have eyes for you

Ryder dipped me down as low as possible, winking, and slowly pulling me back up and spinning us around on the stage slowly.

I don't know if we're in a garden
Or on a crowded avenue

You are here, so am i
Maybe millions of people go by
But they all disappear from view
And i only have eyes for you

I rested my head against Ryder's shoulder/neck and held him tightly as our steps became more graceful with each note he sang. God, this was such a beautiful song and it brought back all the happy memories I had with Ryder. All the great ones we had when I wasn't high or smoking or maybe drinking.

Then somehow the bad ones appeared. The ones where I smoked, especially the first time, and smoked weed the first time and got drunk and those times Ryder had found me doing any of those. Sometimes with Lark too.

The moon may be high
But i can't see a thing in the sky
'cause i only have eyes for you

You are here, so am i
Maybe millions of people go by
But they all disappear from view.

Ryder dipped me down again, then up and rested his forehead against mine. His deep brown, chocolate Prince Charming eyes looking into my Cerulean ocean blue eyes. Connecting instantly with my soul.

I don't know if we're in a garden
Or on a crowded avenue

You are here, so am i
Maybe millions of people go by
But they all disappear from view
And i only have eyes for you

We gave a soft kiss at the end as everyone cheered at the song, then danced as Last Friday Night began playing.

I had my bags set already of everything I needed. All of my bags in my closet. I was going to shower in the morning and then have my last breakfast with Minnie.

I pulled Ryder up to my room. I planned on making as much love as possible with him. I even told him a little white lie and said I was horny as Hell on the way home after the party. Clothes came off as soon as we entered the bedroom, falling on my bed and grabbing all the condoms we could from my table drawer. Making out like we haven't seen each other in almost twenty years; Ryder leaving three of his marks on each side of my neck and on the front of my throat area.

God I was going to miss this.

We started. And we didn't stop until after we made love at least seven times. Pretty much as soon as we ended, we started up again after a three minute break to catch our breathe. Hell after we made love the seventh time I decided to give Ryder a blow-job, which he loved and couldn't contain himself from exploding. Soon after Ryder ate me out to an organism, motorboat me, sucked my breasts and then decided to do some more things. We've done mainly missionary every time we had made love, only once was I on top. So going for rounds eight and nine; I was on top. Round ten I found myself balancing on my hands and knees with Ryder behind me, round eleven on the cold, hard floor and round twelve Ryder was standing up with my back against the wall and my arms and legs wrapped around him and lucky unlucky thirteen both of us sitting on my bed, kind of like a lap dance position.

We've never though, either of us, that this would of happen. It was long and beautiful; what we had done together. Something to treasure for sure. These uncharted territories being done by us. I think we fucked each other to last several weeks without making love.

Too bad it would be longer than that.

We rested on top of my bed, breathing hard as Ryder took off the thirteenth condom (You have to change it every time, he told me, so that it wouldn't break.) and tied it before throwing it in the trash can. Ryder pulled me over and we cuddled into a beautiful spooning position. He leaned in and kissed me hard on the lips.

"Oh my god, that was unbelievable." He breathed out, still breathing deeply. "Let's see Jake and Kitty go like that. Hell, let's see Puck do that with one girl."

I laughed. "Never in my life would I think this would happen...oh my God, this was CRAZY!" I laughed again.

"We have to name that," Ryder told me. "That was the best sex ever, we need to name it."

"Unlucky Thirteen?" I questioned. "Or Lucky Thirteen?"

"Lucky Thirteen," Ryder said. "So bad and horrible, we're lucky enough to survive all of this at the end."

"Lucky Thirteen it is," I kissed his mouth.

I'm going to miss Lucky Thirteen.

Ryder and I held each other tightly. I did't want time to keep going, I wanted to freeze it and stay like this with Ryder a little longer. But I knew time kept going and soon Ryder would leave and as morning came I'd leave too.

Ryder stayed until midnight. He got up and got dressed, doing some weird sexy getting dress dance for me that consisted of putting his clothes on slowly, especially his lower half. I stayed in the bed, sheets covering my bare torso. Once Ryder was done belting his belt I stood up, not taking the bed-sheets with me, letting him see me nude one more time and hugged him. Ryder hugged me back softly; rubbing his large cold hand along my back and giving me goosebumps. I tried to hold back the tears, but I failed.

"Hey, hey," He said softly. "What's wrong?"

"I'm gonna miss you," I muttered softly. He only hugged me tighter.

"I'll come by and see you tomorrow afternoon around lunch. Lunch date, my treat. Okay?" He looked down at me and gave gave me a delighted smiled with cheerful eyes.

If only he knew.

"I love you," He said to me.

"Love you too." I said. Then leaned up and placed him a long, passionate but sweet kiss.

I put my bathrobe on and walked with him to my front door. We gave a long, deep passionate kiss until he had to part away to leave for home.

I stood there at the door waving at him, blowing him kisses. I even walked out as he pulled out and I stood on the curb as he drove away.

I stayed until I could no longer see the lights of his truck.

I broke down crying.

I'm going to miss him.

I went back inside the house and went to my laptop to re-read the letter. I wrote it last night, making it clear as possible for him to read. I cried reading it. I didn't want too.

But I had no choice.