(Don't) Remember Me
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A Hetalia FanFiction
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Pairing:
RusIndo
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Warning:
Yaoi shipping, angst, character deaths, end of the Chapter.
Rin:
Hey. Sorry for the late update. I'm being sick lately, so I got no time to touch my laptop-kun, Rio.
Anyhoo, here's ya story.
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"Я любю теья."
Indonesia opened both of his eyes when a slight sunlight hits his eyes. He flinched for a second when realized that he was hugged by the russian.
Those slightly-tanned cheek blushed lightly, remembering what did they do last night. Indonesia tries to get up, but a horrible pain strikes his hips.
'I should've known that he would be rough.' He thought while sweatdropping, blowing a long sigh. He sats on the bed, looking at Russia for a second, until he got up and walks to the bathroom.
Well, he needs to clean up the 'mess', wouldn't he?
Those dull looking orbs looking at the reflection in the mirror. Indonesia reached out his hand, touching his own reflection.
'Did my eyes always looked lifeless like that?' He thought, before shook his head lightly.
The male indonesian turned the shower on, letting the not-so-cold water fell to his head and flowing down to his feet. He didn't noticed that someone entered the bathroom, and the next second that Indonesia flinched when a large body hugged him from behind.
"…You're awake, Russia?" The smaller male asked, raising his head a bit. Russia only smiled, before forced Indonesia to face him, as he planted a kiss on the other's lips.
"Da. I panicked for a second when I didn't found you anywhere."
Why are you so kind?
"I get it, now release me. It's hot if you hugged me." He said with a slight blush.
"Would it be that nice?" Russia smiled, looking at Indonesia that was turning his head away.
"That makes you in mood, right?"
Indonesia didn't answered. Only the sound of streaming water can be heard, before Russia chuckled.
"I'm joking. Don't be mad, alright?" The russian asked, leaning his forehead to the other with a smile.
"I'm not. Just… Back off a little bit. You're stepping into my personal space." Indonesia said, pushing the larger male away from him.
I don't want to get hurt anymore.
"Fine. But at least let me take a bath too. I'm wet already." Russia said. Those hazel eyes accidentally moved to stares at the other's abs, before he startled and turned his back to Russia.
"…Do as you like."
The russian smiled. He patted Indonesia's wet hair softly, before taking a shampoo and pour the liquid on top of those dark-brown hair.
"Hey, what are you—"
"Your hair is really soft, Indonesiya. Like a cat's fur." Russia chuckled. The brown haired male just huffed lightly, feeling embarassed when his hair being washed by the taller man.
(͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)(͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)(͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)(͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)(͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)(͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
"Geez. At least don't let all of your paperworks scattered on the floor next time, okay?" Kirana asked, crossing her arms.
"We won't do it again." Russia smiled to the smaller female, as Indonesia turned his head away. She huffed, before turning her back and walked away. Russia patted Indonesia's head softly when she's out of the sight, looking at the smaller male with a smile. Indonesia also turned his head to the russian, before the larger male kissed the indonesian softly.
"I'll see you soon, okay?" Russia said after the kiss, smiling to the other male. Indonesia just formed a thin smile, and nodded his head lightly.
"Yeah… Sure."
Russia kissed Indonesia's forehead, before finally walked to the front door. After the russian seemed to leave his house, Indonesia looked at the front door with a dull eyes.
This is useless. No matter how many affections he would give, the fact that he didn't remember me won't change.
Indonesia turned his back, before walked to his working room to do the paperworks he left undone yesterday.
This is going to be a painful life.
"Brother, why're you so sudden going to Japan?" Kirana asked, looking at her brother's plane ticket that shows the flight day is tomorrow. Indonesia didn't answered, yet he keep on working his paperworks. This pissed her off, before she took the pen that he's holding.
"Brother! What happened to you?! Lately, you've been overworking and goes other countries without telling me!"
"It is none of your business, Kirana. Now give me my pen back." Indonesia said, sounded cold not like he's always sounded. Not the kind tone he would always use.
"It IS my problem! What happen to you? You… You've changed suddenly, Putra…"
He stayed silent. The indonesian male rolled his eyes to the side, before he blows a sigh.
"Nothing happened. I'm just tired. Now please give me my pen back, I need to finish all of this paperworks before my flight tomorrow." He said, looking at her again. Those hazel eyes widens, when founding Kirana is holding her tears.
"Brother, what happened to you…? Just right Russia loves you again, you've turned into like this…" She said, her tone is sounded soft, yet trembling.
"It feels like… You've turned into a living corpse, having no life at all…"
Indonesia stood up from his desk, before walking towards her. He reached out, but she slapped his hand away.
"Don't touch me! You're not my brother! He… He wouldn't never…" Kirana stopped, as tears now flooding from her eyes. Indonesia blinked for a few times, slightly panicked. He clenched his fists, turning his head away a bit.
"I'm sorry, Nesia. But please leave my room. I need to work."
The female Indonesia just sobbed lightly. She puts the pen on the table, before runs out from the room while crying silently. The slightly-tanned male stared at the floor with those dull eyes, before he closed both of it while frowning.
He couldn't never turn back time.
And thus, nothing will change the fact that Russia forgets him. Nothing changes. This relationship is just hurting him more and more.
Like thousand of arrows keep stabbing him.
Again.
And again.
"…I need to finish my work soon." He mumbled lowly, opening both of his eyes again and sat down on his desk again, continuing the paperworks.
Jakarta, 20.15 p.m.
The day he'll fly to Japan has come. Indonesia right now stands inside Soekarno-Hatta II airport, waiting for his plane.
"Brother, are you seriously going?" Kirana asked, a slight tone of worry can be heard. Indonesia just smiled, patting his twin's head softly.
"Don't worry. I'm a country, so I'll be fine. But if I die… I leave the Indonesia country to you, Kirana." He said, staring at her with a gentle looks.
"Just wait for me patiently here, okay?"
Kirana raised her head to look at her twin. She stayed silent, but she nodded her head in understanding.
"Attention to all passengers of Garuda Indonesia. Your flight to Japan will be fly soon. Please go to the Gate 13…"
"That's my call, gotta go." He start dragging his suitcase away, but stopped for a second. He looked at his twin, that was keeping a sad face.
Indonesia walked back, hugging Kirana and kissed her forehead. He smiled, before saying goodbye to her while waving. She just smiled thinly, waving back at her dearest brother.
Right when Indonesia gets inside the plane, he looked outside the window. Some days after this flight and his returning, probably this is the last scene he will see.
No, but this is the last scene he will see.
"Can't leave without leaving a message now, would I?" He mumbled in such a low voice, chuckling lightly.
He fastened the seatbelts as he told to, and looked outside the window once again when the plane starts to fly. He looked every part of the scenery outside that round window, before he sensed that the gravity slowly off from his feet, and the large trees turns smaller, along with the buildings that also looked smaller now. Everything looks small, yet looked so beautiful with those dim lights.
But this will be his last sightseeing.
Indonesia blows a long sigh, before he pulled out his smartphone and tapped the music application. He plugged his headset, and played a song as he slowly drifted to sleep.
Tokyo, 09.45 a.m.
The brown haired male looked around the Narita Airport. It looked same as always, only with more cleanier and more tidier than his airport.
"As expected, Japan always stays organized…" He chuckled lightly, before walked to a nearby phone booth and starts dialing a number. When connected, he greeted with his usual ones.
"Indonesia? You already arrived?"
"Yes. I'm at Narita Airport right now. If you don't mind, can you pick me up? It's okay if you can't." He said.
"No, no! I'm perfectly good now. Hold on, I'll go and pick you up, okay?"
"Thanks, Japan. I'll wait for you at the South Gate." He said again, before the call ended. Indonesia puts the phone back, before he walked to the South Gate just like he said before.
"Autumn, huh…" He mumbled lowly.
"You know, I always wanted to see Autumn or Spring season here." Russia said, looking at Indonesia with a smile.
"Well, it's spring now. And Japan told us we can go sightseeing around Osaka to look at sakura trees and the castle." The smaller male said, also with a smile.
"I know that. But… I hope one day we could see Autumn together, so that we can walk around inside the forest, only both of us." The russian said. Indonesia stayed silent, his eyes widened and his cheek are dusted pink. The slightly-tanned male looked away, feeling embarassed.
"Yeah… I hope we can go and see Autumn together."
"Indonesia!"
The said male snapped back to the reality when a familiar voice called him out. There's Japan, wearing his usual uniform.
"Are you alright? You looked a bit pale." Japan asked with a worried look on his face.
"I'm fine. Just remembering some scenes in the past." Indonesia replied, reassuring the other with a smile. Japan stayed silent, before both of them walked inside the car that Japan rides within.
"So, do you come here for business?" The japanese male asked, pouring green tea to the other's cup. Indonesia shook his head lightly, before taking the tea and starts sipping it.
"Not really. Actually, I have a request for you."
Japan blinked. He putted down the teapot, holding his cup of tea too in confusion.
"Do you know any flowers that related to be forgotten?"
"Ah, yes… I know. Why're you asking me that?" Japan asked back, sipping his tea.
"I need that. And oh, I also need flowers that represents love." Indonesia said again, also sipping his green tea.
"We can go buy the flowers now. There's a flower shop nearby…"
"Sounds great. But let me finish my tea first." The indonesian said, sipping his tea again. Japan only smiled, also enjoying his tea.
Indonesia looked outside. The scene of falling red and yellow leaves looked so beautiful. A smile curved on his lips, but that smile vanished immediately when he remembered something he shouldn't.
"Autumn sure is great, huh. Wish I could grow some maple trees in my country, but Indonesia only have two seasons." Indonesia said.
"Yes. But, I still thought that your country is beautiful. I never gets bored when visited your place." Japan replied with a smile.
"Heh. Thanks." The brunette chuckled lightly, sipping his tea again. "Kirana… She will take over Indonesia soon."
"Soon? Then how about you?" Japan blinked in confusion. The other male didn't answered, instead he keep looking outside with a smile.
That looked like a forced one.
"…I'll be gone somewhere. Somewhere that's… Far. Away from you, Kirana, my siblings, and…" Indonesia stopped for a second.
"…Russia himself."
Those dark-brown eyes widens. Japan tugged Indonesia's yukata lightly.
"Wait, are you serious?! You're insane!" The japanese said in worried tone. Indonesia turned his head, a gentle smile and looks can be seen on his face.
But his eyes stays empty, like there's no soul.
"…It's about time to Kirana for stand on her own. She can't relies on me forever."
The same phrase that Russia said last time to him.
"But I won't leave without leaving a message. It just same I'm going without leaving a trace." Indonesia said, finishing his tea with a smile.
"But still… Is this what you really desire? Leaving all of us and your siblings?"
The indonesian stayed silent. He closed both of his eyes, putting the cup on the table back before crossing his arms.
"…Can we go to buy the flowers now?" He asked, changing the topic.
"I need those flowers as my message to him."
Jakarta, 09.12 a.m.
Two weeks passed so fast. And Indonesia is coming home today. Kirana anticipated his comeback, waiting at the Soekarno-Hatta II airport patiently. Her smile widens when hears an announcement about the plane from Japan has arrived, and not long she founds someone familiar as she runs to that figure— hugging the said person tightly.
"Whoa— Kirana, you've shocked me." Indonesia said while sweatdropping, almost dropping the flowers he bought from Japan.
"Welcome home." She said with a smile. Her looks turned curious when noticing the flowers he bought, and pointed at the most weirdiest, yet a bit scary one flower.
"Why did you bring flowers back?" She asked, sounded confused.
"Ah, about that…"
Indonesia stopped. Kirana blinked her eyes, as Indonesia shook his head lightly.
"I'll tell you when we got home… Okay?"
"W-what? You're leaving?"
The male indonesian nodded his head lightly. Those dull orbs stared at her shining brown ones.
"It's time for you to be Indonesia, Kirana. It'll be not me anymore." He said.
"B-but… Where are you going?" She asked again, her eyes stays widened.
"Somewhere… Far away. Maybe I won't be back… No." He shook his head lightly.
"I won't be back, Kirana."
Hearing those words, tears starts flooding on her eyes again. She stared at her twin in disbelief, lightly shaking her head.
"I have a request for you before I leave for eternity." Indonesia said, as he gave both of the different types of flowers to her.
"This… Send them to Russia. Don't say anything, just say it's from me."
"…What does this flowers means?" She asked, looking at the flower for a second and looked back at him.
"…You'll know it soon enough, Kirana. No— Indonesia."
The indonesian male smiled. He hugged his twin for awhile, before he kissed her forehead.
"I'll leave everything to you. Thus…" He stopped for a second, before turning his back.
"Your name will be known as Indonesia from now on, as myself will stay as Adrian Saputra once again."
Kirana grabbed his wrist, preventing him for leaving. Tears are flooding hardly from her eyes, her other hand was holding the flowers he gave tightly.
"Don't… Leave me alone…"
"…I can't do that, Ki— Indonesia. It's time for me now…"
"To sleep for eternity. And even if I gone, just stay smiling, alright?"
She startled. Her grab against Putra's hand now slowly loosened. He took off his white-transparent scarf with the Pancasila pin, before he wrapped the scarf around her neck and pinned it on her chest. He smiled to her, turning away and finally leaves the house again.
She didn't chase after him. She just stayed silent there, crying without a sound that can be heard. Only some small sobs filling the room.
"Brother…"
Putra, who's now walking around randomly, staring at the cloudy sky with a blank looks. He sighed deeply, before walked to an area which there's no one around. The lad pulled out his dagger, pointing it to his chest. He closed both of his eyes, before finally stabbed himself.
His hand turned numb suddenly. A hard pain hits his nerves when the knife pierces his flesh. Red liquids flowing hardly from his chest, his balance is slowly gone from his feet. That body of his fell to the grass hardly, his breath that once was calm now is ragged.
"…Russia…" He called out in such a hoarse voice. Tears starts flooding on his eyes, before finally he closed both of those brownish orbs.
"…I'm sorry, Ivan…"
Rain pours the large city later. The unmoving body now laying helplessly on the ground, not moving an inch nor breathing. Someone's scream can be heard, and the body immediately being surrounded.
"Sir Indonesia?! Why did he— someone! Call me an ambulance now!" Jakarta yelled loudly, holding Indonesia's body on his arms that seemed never to move again.
Jakarta looked at his former superior. Tears also flooded on his eyes. The kind, yet also a hard-working man he ever met, now has finally slept for eternity.
"Why… Why did you committed suicide, sir…?"
Moscow, 16.23 p.m.
"U-uhm, Sir Russia… There's a flower package sent to you by sir Indonesia."
Russia turned his attention from the snow that was falling gently outside to Lithuania. He took the still-fresh looked flowers, which one bouquet is a red spider lily, and one is a bouquet of red roses. The russian raised one of his eyebrows, before he asked the smaller male.
"What does red spider lily means?" He asked in confusion.
"E-eh? I don't know, sir… M-maybe you could ask Japan?"
Russia stayed silent. He immediately went to his office, turning on his computer and googled the meaning of red spider lily.
Red Spider Lily(Hanakotoba)
A flower meaning that being forgotten; or someone that it's better to be forgotten.
Those violet eyes widens. What does this mean?
The russian flinched when he heard his phone ringing all of the sudden. Russia put the flowers on his desk, before walked to the phone and picked it up in hesitation.
"Privet…?"
"…I'm sorry about my brother."
He startled.
"W-what? What do you mean?" He asked, his voice sounded trembling. He could hear some sobs from the other side, and fear starts creeping on his heart and mind.
"Adrian Saputra… He committed suicide yesterday. His body is found with a knife on his chest…"
The male froze. Putra? Committed suicide? Why?
"The flowers is from him. It's his last message to you… As for the meaning, he loves you, but it's best for you to forget him…"
Russia stayed silent. He hangs up immediately. Those violet eyes stays widened, and tears starts flooding on his eyes.
Why? Why did you committed suicide?
The liquid fell from his eyes hardly. He fell on his knees, grabbing his own chest that feels in pain. It feels like something squeezed it, or something stabbed his heart.
It hurts him, like a knife stabbed his chest suddenly.
"I-Indonesiya…" He called out softly, some sobbing escaped from his lips. Those violet orbs glanced at the flowers on his desk, before he slowly stands up and reached it, hugging the red spider lily ones, as his tear droplets fell to each petal of the flowers.
"Like the sunflowers, your smile is the most brightest one I've ever seen."
Russia flinched. He's sure that was Indonesia's voice just now. The russian turned around, but founding no one there.
"Thanks for being here. I'm glad you're by my side."
He gritted his teeth. All of the sudden, all of his memories with Indonesia flooded into his brain. The smiling face of Putra, the sad face, the troubled face, the blushed face, everything…
"Until the day Kirana can stand by her own… Let's be together, forever."
Again, he fell on his knees. His other hand intended to grabbed the roses, but he ended up scattering it on the floor. Loud sobs can be heard from him now, as he hugged the red spider lily tightly.
"I'm sorry… I'm sorry… I'm sorry…!"
The same words repeated again and again from his mouth. He regretted it. If only he didn't misunderstands Indonesia, he wouldn't fell and lost his memories, forgetting all memories he had with his lover.
And even, he should be happy with Putra and marrying him, laughing and talking, filling inside this large house.
"What have I done…" He mumbled lowly, tears keep flooding from his eyes. It wouldn't stop, even himself is trembling.
"Putra… I'm sorry…"
Belarus, who's on the other side of the room, only leans on the wall hearing his brother's weeping. She turned her heels, entering the room before called him out.
"…Brat, do you want to go to Indonesia, once again…?"
Russia raised his head, looking at his sister. The younger woman approached him, before wiped those tears from him softly and throws him a thin smile.
"Kirana called me. She said that she wants you on her brother's grave…"
The russian stayed silent. He rolled those violet orbs to look at the flowers, before closing both of his eyes.
"…Prepare me a flight. I will go to Indonesia, now."
"Be careful, brother." Belarus said to the russian. He only nodded, before gave her a smile. The man turned around, goes to his private jet. When he's onboard, he looked outside the window with such a sad eyes. He frowned, as he closed both of his eyes.
Please… If I died, then please let me meet once again with Indonesiya.
After some minutes, the jet finally take off from the airport. Belarus only looked at the silhouette of the plane, slowly dissappearing in the sky.
But yet, she suddenly had a bad feeling about this.
Russia was sleeping at ease, before he wakes up when a strong shocked the plane. He blinked in confusion, when everyone panicked.
"Sir! Our left wing suddenly exploded!" One of the crew reported. Russia's eyes widened, before he unfasten his seatbelt and went to the captain's cabin.
"Captain, what is going on?!" The russian asked.
"We don't know, sir! The left wing suddenly exploded, and this plane cannot fly any further! We can't reach Indonesia if like this!"
Oh, no.
"Basically… We'll crashed soon?" Russia asked, sounded panicked a bit.
"Yes— our location is at Andaman Sea, near Thailand sir—"
"Send SOS message! We have to—"
Before his sentence finished, the plane crashed the sea hardly. Waters start to enters the plane, and all crews start to panic.
"Everyone! Wear your life jacket and get out from the exit door!" The captain ordered, standing up from his seat.
"Captain, most of the plane drowned! There's no life jacket can be found!" One of the crew said.
"What?!"
Russia panicked. This is a condition he shouldn't be in. He stumbled when the plateform he's stepping on starts to turn 165 degree. The water starts to flood on his feet, and the next second was—
The plane exploded.
Russia slowly opened his eyes. He couldn't see anything but a dark-bluish kind of color. Is he drowned inside the sea?
"Indo…nesiya…" He called out, his oxygen starts to run out. The water starts filling his lungs, until the last oxygen choked out from him.
Please, if this is the end…
He slowly closed his eyes. His hands now cannot be moved anymore, and his feet also turned numb. None of his body can't move anymore.
…Then let me go to your place to meet you, Indonesiya.
Thus, Russia drowned into the deep sea. The plane also crashed into pieces, and there's no survivor can be seen. Only fire remains on the plane's corpse, but those fires also slowly died down because of the sea.
When he's awake, he sees nothing but pitch black. Everywhere his eyes wanders, only darkness he found.
But the darkness vanished when someone called him out.
"Russia."
The voice sounded familiar. He turned his head, founding a similar male standing not far away from him. The other male was smiling, with an extended arms.
"Indo…nesiya?" He called out, slowly approaching the brown-haired male. The said one only nodded his head, making a smile appears on the russian's face. He ran to the smaller male, before hugging him tightly.
"At last… At last, I got to meet you." Russia said in a trembling voice. Indonesia only smiled, tears dropped from his closed eyes.
"I know." Putra said, releasing the hug and looked at the russian.
"I miss you so much, Ivan."
—The End—