Heyyo!
47: The Letter.
I woke up at six am sharp. I remember everything from last night clearly; I thought it was a dream but I knew it was real. But I had to try and focus on myself now and if this is what I was suppose to do, then it had to happen.
I showered, blow dried my hair and went to pick an outfit. Strangely is was going to be around 80-89 degrees later, so a pair of shorts and a top with my gladiator shoes would do. I found one of my favorite shirts; a black Aztec print short sleeve crop top, and a pair of high waist shorts. Once I finished getting ready I grabbed my two suitcases and my floral backpack handbag that I hung from my shoulders. I gazed around my room once more, taking everything inside, before I left for New York.
Minnie came home around 5, remembering that I was leaving this morning and not tomorrow morning as she thought, and went crazy for breakfast. Chocolate chip pancakes, blueberry muffins, bacon, hash browns, bagels, waffles, chocolate milk and coffee. She even made road snacks for Lark and I to enjoy on the seven hour drive.
"So I have the address and phone number to the apartment, right?" Minnie asked. I nodded, saying it had it on the fridge. "Good. That's good. And You'll call me as soon as you are settled inside of the apartment and let me know what job you have and the hours you got, right?"
"Yes Minnie, I'll do all that." I said to her. "I'll Skype you too."
"Jesus, frigging Skype. Use the damn telephone." She laughed. "Come on and eat up. And how did Ryder take the break up?"
"Oh he was upset but he understood and he's cool with me going to New York for the summer." I lied. I actually planned on dropping off the letter first. I decided to write it, much better and more truthful than computer notes. "I'm so excited."
9 AM came. Outside of the house was Lark's car that his friend was lending him for a while. While Lark got my suitcases in the trunk I turned to Minnie and gave her one final hug, hugging her tightly. She hugged me just as tight. I was going to miss Minnie.
I sat in the passenger seat and Lark pulled out of the driveway and drove away. "Lark, can we stop by Ryder's house? I need to drop off something he left."
'Sure thing." He told me.
We got to the house. Ryder would be asleep for another hour, his parents already at work. I got out of the car and went to the front door where the mail was to be slid in through the front door. I slide the paper inside and turned back to the car and slowly walked. I felt my heart breaking into a million pieces, I felt horrible. But it was the right thing to do.
I slid back into the seat and buckled up. "You okay?" Lark asked me.
"Yeah," I smiled. "I'm great."
Once we hit the main road I started to think back of the memories here in Lima. It would be forever since I would come back here and when I did Ryder would be well off and married. I knew he would always want me but I had to let him go. He needed someone who wasn't going to hold him back. Someone who didn't have a smoking problem or drug or drinking problem. But all I could think of now was that letter Ryder was going to find when he wakes up this morning. Reading the neat-hand written letter and seeing the words that would stab him in the heart.
Dear Ryder,
I'm sorry this had to happen. But I'm too much to have you worry about me all the time, not giving you a breathe of fresh air to take. I don't want to be the reason you feel a burden and feel like you have to care for me all the time. It's not right, it's not fair.
I'm going away now. Just for the summer. You don't know where, and Minnie doesn't know either, but she just knows I'm safe where I'm going. I have to focus on myself without having anyone feel like they need to care for me. I'll be alright, I promise.
You can date other girls now. I don't mind, I want you too. I want you to date someone else. I'll love to meet her when I come back someday to Lima in the future. We don't have to mention we dated, just good friends we are.
Please don't try to contact me. Please don't. Just move on, it'll be better for the both of us.
I love you Ryder. I have and always will.
Yours truthfully,
Marley Rose.