Rita sat at the dining room table, scribbling in a book with a pink cover. Years of experience had made her quite eloquent, sometimes even poetic. She could easily pull out at least a page (sometimes two) just from watching some of the stuff going on around her house, though with seven children and an "eccentric" husband, material was never in short supply. Some days, she even considered writing a novel that could be published.

This time, though, she found it hard to even keep the pen in her hand. She spent most of the morning at the hospital, going through the tests and check ups she was all too used to at this point. She wanted to be more excited, she really did, but the ultrasound didn't lie. It turned out that she was gonna be getting two for the price of one. Her head suddenly gained at least a few pounds. Her heart started racing. Her mind went running.

"Why are you so down like this? It was years ago, you should be over this by now!"

She paused and closed her eyes, shutting out whatever noise was going on elsewhere. She inhaled through her nose, held it briefly, and released. She repeated this several times, hoping the images and voices would fade. Perhaps it was all just nerves, she reasoned. Everything was gonna be fine.

"Bye. I'll talk to you later," she wrote before closing the book.

Sighing, she sauntered through the kitchen back into her bedroom. The first thing she saw was the garbage bag full of old baby clothes on her bed. Children sure grew up fast. As she slid the pink book back into the drawer, she gazed into the open bag. Much of the clothes had become somewhat faded due to their years of use. Maybe someday these shirts and pants would be used again. Maybe by some future daughter (or son), or maybe she'll pass them down to the grandchildren; given the size of this family, that prospect appeared likely.

She gave a small smile before tying the bag shut. Using her upper body, she lifted it over her shoulders and began moving. Lynn Sr. was in the living room, making it easy for her to slip by without him seeing her. She truly loved her husband; he was a generous man that was always willing to help her, especially while she was pregnant. But sometimes, she figured she could do chores by herself. After all, she was still an able person.

Upon reaching the upper hallway, she reached towards the handle attached to the ceiling. Sure enough, the flap opened and the wooden stairs folded down. As Rita prepared to ascend those steps, she heard a door creak open.

"Mommy."

Stunned, she turned to see Leni standing in the middle of hallway with a paper in her hand.

"Oh hi Leni," she said, setting down the bag on one of the steps. Her eyes then turned to the white paper her daughter was holding, "What's that you have there?"

The girl then held it up to present a drawing of a dress, however the paper completely blocked her face. It was long, flowing, and was splashed with rainbow colors. The border lines were remarkably neat, the coloring was bold, and the design was unlike anything Rita had ever seen at the mall.

"I wanted to show it to Linky and you and Daddy and Lori and all of my sisters," she said softly. Then, she lowered it enough to reveal a gentle smile of her own. To the mother, it seemed like her daughter's drawing wasn't the only skill that was improving.

"It looks wonderful, honey," Rita replied warmly.

But then, Leni's eyes veered from her mother to the black garbage bag. Her face suddenly took on a look of curiosity.

"What's in that thingy?" she asked, pointing to it with her free hand.

"These are some extra baby clothes. We don't need them right now and there's not exactly a lot of room elsewhere, so I was putting them up in the attic with the others."

The almost-nine-year-old's eyes wandered to the dim space above the ceiling. And then some exciting prospects popped up, ones that quickly overwhelmed her.

"Can I go up? I want to see all the clothes! Clothes! Clothes!" Leni exclaimed, running up to hug both the bag and her mother's leg. Rita, though, put on a look of confusion.

"You've never wanted to go into the attic," she said, briefly turning her head to the path above.

"But I didn't know there were clothes up there!" Leni replied, gripping the bag, "I wanna see them! Touch them! Put them on! Please!"

Rita looked back up the stairs, as if she could see its contents from her spot. She then then turned back to her daughter, who's dangerously wide smile said it all. What was wrong with some clothes? And how could she say no to that face. She exhaled.

"Okay," she said. As the young girl cheered, both of them ascended the steps. Over the years, the attic has been a place of ever-shrinking space. Boxes, bags, golf bags, tents, computers, television sets, and books had accumulated in the space. Every object had a film of dust of it, although some clearly had a thicker coat than others. Leni stood on the wooden floor and took in all the clutter, many of it she had never seen before.

"Oh Leni. There are a bunch of clothes over here," Rita said as she settled the newest bag on top of older ones that were covered in dust and wood chips. The fascinated young girl approached the mountain of black garbage bags with her wide eyes in awe. The blonde knelt down as her mother helped her untie the various knots. Once they were free, the contents emerged in the form of various clumps. Sure enough, the bags were filled with small shirts, dresses, pants, overalls, shorts, socks, and other forms of apparel. Her hands dug deep into the pile and began pulling out various articles. As she grabbed each one, she examined it closely. Her mouth dropped open as she came to admire each creation.

"Leni!"

As she continued her excavation, Lori emerged from the steps with a noticeable frown and furrowed brows.

"How many times have I told you to not my colored pencils?! Do you have any idea how long it took me to find all of them?!"

"Lori. That's no way to talk to your little sister," Rita said firmly.

"But it happens all the time! I keep telling her to only use her crayons and her colored pencils. But then when I come into my room, my drawers are literally raided," Lori protested, crossing her arms.

Rita came to understand her daughter's frustration. Sure she would have appreciated if Lori had taken the initiative the issue to bring it to her attention, but better late than never, she concluded. With that, she turned to the other.

"Leni," she said carefully, "if you want more crayons or colored pencils, why don't you just ask me? That way you don't need to take Lori's."

The eldest daughter rolled her eyes at this display. Sometimes, she felt like Leni got off too easily. Meanwhile, the second daughter merely shrugged as she went back to her search.

"Honey," Rita repeated. This time, Leni turned around with a blank face to see her mother and older sister, "Do you want me to get you more colored pencils?"

A brief delay. And then, the girl silently nodded before turning back to the garbage bags.

"Rita! Your assistance is needed urgently!" Lynn Sr. shouted.

The wife understood that even though her husband was generally a good father, there were times where he was overwhelmed. Like when one of the sisters got into rough housing or if they get sick on the couch. Whatever it was, she had to accept that it couldn't wait. She then gave both her oldest daughters a long gaze before pressing her lips.

"I'll leave you up here," she said, "just be sure to look out for each other. And don't make a big mess."

"Rita!"

"Coming dearie," she fired back. She then jerked her head to the daughters, "I'll be right back," she said before rushing down the steps.

Lori sighed and leaned against some boxes.

"Really," she said, "you're up here to look at some dumb clothes that don't fit you."

The only response she got was the crunching sound the bag's plastic made as the articles shifted around its interior.

With that, the eldest daughter's eyes scanned around the dilapidated "museum". She figured that since Leni was gonna be a while, she might as well take a gander at what the attic had to offer.

Lori got up and wandered to various corners of the space, looking through boxes. It was hard to get close to anything without coughing, yet some of the sights she had to admit were a little interesting. She found some really old pictures of her parents when they were her age, along with various mementos from their childhoods. She found several trophies and medals from various sports, accompanied by pictures of a young, chipper boy with curly brown hair. To her it felt weird that she found this boy cute.

Aside from that, she came across the Halloween and Christmas decorations all stashed in one corner. To think that all this time, she thought they wereu hidden in the equally mysterious basement.

In yet another section was a huge library of books. A lot of them included classic novels, biographies, and atlases. As she scanned through the sheer volume of some of these tomes, she became skeptical that either of her parents had really read and finished them.

Nearby, there was another box full of books with colorful covers. Some of them chose to represent themselves with a puzzle piece, some of them used a rainbow ribbon, others with a picture of some random child using building blocks, and others yet opting for the good ol' stick figure approach with a child and parents. They were all on the same topic (along with similar titles) and her parents had taught her about it some time ago. She understood it all and was fairly accepting, but they warned her to never use it to insult Leni. Regardless, she found it interesting to discover these relics in this place.

"You know, Leni," she said as she continued digging, "You should check out some of this stuff I'm finding. It's pretty cool."

She didn't even wait for an answer before she moved onto the next box which, like the others, was cardboard. She opened it and found seven journals, each one a different color. Suddenly, Lori recalled some vague image that deleted quickly. And yet, these books seemed familiar. Like it was deja vu. Sifting through the box, she found two of them (one of them baby blue and the other turquoise) and went over to the sister.

"Hey Leni. Check this out," Lori said, extending out one of the books. This time, Leni turned away from her precious clothes to see a cover that matched her dress. Enamored, she grabbed the book and flipped the cover open clockwise as well as several blank pages.

"May 14, 2000

She's here. At last, she's finally with me."

Even with the sloppy (practically illegible handwriting), Leni recognized the date fairly accurately. And it was then that she realized she had opened the journal on the wrong side. She clumsily flipped it around and re-opened it counter-clockwise, immediately noticing the neater handwriting.

"August 27, 1999

It's me. And well, I'm pregnant again.

Well before I get back into this, I should tell you where I've been these last four months.

Lori has been wonderful. Lynn and I have been using all the advice from those parenting books and so far, I'd say we're doing a pretty good job, even under these...circumstances. We've been sharing responsibilities, taking turns playing with her, hugging her, making food for her, changing her diapers, and putting her to bed. She's been so vibrant, happy, like any baby should.

And Leni,"

Leni continued reading, not entirely sure what the author was talking about (a lot of the words were too big for her to comprehend). Not helping were the smudges spread out across the rest of the page. Before finishing it, she suddenly decided to flip around to different points of the story, as if that would help her find something she could wrap her head around.

Meanwhile, Lori did a similar thing. She knew enough about pregnancy to know that it lasted nine months. And from watching TV shows, she was even familiar with some of the other elements that came with the process. It was those parts she was mainly interested in.

"September 10, 1998

Sorry, I'm a little jittery right now.

Today Dr. Kappy showed us our first ultrasound and it's twins! I know most mothers get scared to learn this, but I'm ecstatic. But you already know how much Lynn and I love children, so as he would say: "the more the merrier"!

It's still gonna be another month or so before we know if they're gonna be boys or girls, but I don't care. All children are beautiful and I can't wait to become a proud mother of them!"

Lori felt her eyebrows rise until they almost met her hairline. As far as she knew, she didn't have a twin brother or sister. Who on Earth was her mother talking about? Now ferociously curious, she flipped to subsequent pages in an effort to extract more information. As she skimmed through the various pages, she spotted phrases such as "both girls", "due in April", "excited", and "names".

"February 3, 1999

Okay this time I mean it. We've finally settled on two names. For real!

The first girl is gonna be named Lori. It's supposed to represent honor and victory, which I guess is a good sign for how she's gonna do great things and will fight for whatever she chooses to believe in. I can see her having a powerful fire burning in her eyes that will make her willing to achieve just that.

And the second will be named Leni. When Lynn and I first saw that one in the baby name book, we were surprised that it even existed; the only spellings we knew were 'Lenny' and 'Lennie' and they were both for boys. We originally disregarded it in favor of more traditional girl names like Lauren or Linda. But in the end, I went back to Leni because it's rare. I want her to truly feel unique, that she is one of a kind.

I feel flustered. Two months is so close but it's also an eternity!

I'm sorry journal. I don't think you'll ever understand how excited I am to be a parent. Though of course, you don't have thoughts. You know what I mean."

Lori flipped through some more pages, disappointed in the lack of answers. As she did this, she turned to her 'twin', who herself was making her way through the turquoise book. Seeing that second book only made her feel confused and even hungrier for answers. Finally, she arrived at a date that was of particular importance to her.

"April 23, 1999

Its happening. They're coming."

That was all that was on the page and the handwriting was noticeably thinner and messier than usual, though she figured at that point her mother must have been in labor. As she pondered the oddity of doing something so dull in a moment of immense pain and inconvenience, she flipped to the next page.

It was blank.

There were still several pages of the book left over, yet none of them had any writing on them.

She briefly huffed before backtracking. Surely there was an explanation somewhere in the interlude she flew over in her haste. But even that was moving too slowly.

"Hey Leni," she said impatiently, "Hand me that!"

The younger sister lifted her head and crawled over to hand over the turquoise book. But as this was happening, footsteps resonated along creaky wooden steps. Both the sisters jerked in the direction to see Rita emerging. Once their eyes met, the older woman froze.

Both the books were in clear sight. Rita's eyes were saucers, her throat was clamped. The distance between her and her daughters was a light year. Lori's and Leni's states were lethal. The silence couldn't have been more awkward.

"Mom!" Lori exclaimed as she raced to the parent with the blue book, "Me and Leni are twins?!"

"I am?" Leni asked, genuinely confused.

"We're nothing alike!" Lori continued, pointing to her sister, "She's been celebrating a different birthday, she's a grade under me! I'm literally four inches taller than her! Why didn't you tell us?!"

Leni stared down at the book she was holding. She understood little from reading it, but she was convinced it was about her. And given that her own birthday is in it, Lori's claims made less sense to her. As she tried puzzling this together, she looked back up at her mother.

Rita's pupils became dots. She brought her hand to mask her quivering lips. She felt naked, unprepared, not ready. Her knees locked into place. Mrs. Boxer only had one conclusion from these signs

"Mommy...are you okay?" she heard Leni say. The girl then internalized her teacher's directions and stood up. She walked up to her mother and wrapped her arms around her waist. Rita's head shot down to witness her second daughter embracing her. All that before her vision got blurry.

"Mom," Lori said, her voice now shaky, "what's going on?"

What followed were several shaky breaths and stifled sobs. Both of the girls were stunned by how quickly their own mother had fallen apart. What had they done? Did they catch her at the wrong time? Did something happen while she was downstairs? Following a sniffle, their mother took in an audible, yet steady inhale. Rita then looked up with a firm lip and directed her gaze boldly at both her daughters.

"Lori, Leni," she said. She then paused for another breath, "there's something the two of you should know."

Rita solemnly walked to another part of the attic and hauled out a very specific box. The two sisters looked on as she brought it over to them and took a seat on the floor. Using this cue, both of the girls joined their mother on the wooden, dusty surface. Rita, meanwhile, was breathing slowly with her eyes closed.

"Lori," she said, reopening them, "you do have a twin sister. But it's not the Leni sitting next to you."

Rita sifted through the box before pulling out a black plastic sheet. As this occurred, Lori took a wide gander at the sister who was also paying attention. Rita held it up to reveal a white outline of the sheet. It made out the shape of a uterus and two identical forms.

"This was the inside of my belly when I was pregnant with you, Lori," she said weakly, "see, this is you right there," she added, trying to put on a smile as she circled her finger around one of the forms. She then dragged it across the dusty film to the other, "And this...was Leni."

Leni was fixated on the diagram above. Dates jumbled about, bouncing from one corner of her brain to another, creating nasty knots in their wrath. Her mouth slowly opened.

"So that's me?" she asked softly.

The mother chuckled, but even Leni could tell it wasn't joyous. The sounds were broken, detached, the opposite of what the laughter card illustrated. She turned to her older sister, who appeared equally uneasy.

"No honey," she responded in an equally melancholy tone. It was as if her forced tone was trying in vain to make light of her mood, much to the concern of her daughters, "this is a different girl who's name is also Leni. She wa-is Lori's twin."

"Where is she now?" Lori asked.

Rita froze once more. Without looking at the box, she slid the ultrasound back into its place. Each of those four words felt like bullets. She knew they were coming, but it was impossible to make material from imagination alone. And she shouldn't have been foolish enough to assume that optimism could sugarcoat a situation like this, even with her attempts to do so.

"Well..." she started, as she fought back tears. She cursed herself for letting all those nights in bed slip away like that, all those accumulated hours of cool contemplation washed away in the tsunami of the present, "I wanted to wait until you were a little older, so you would understand. But..." she halted.

She saw both of her daughters with anxiety washed across their faces. Even Leni, who wasn't as used to outward expression as Lori, had tints of it spread across. It was the younger of the two that Rita was more worried about. Would she understand? How would their relationship change? And her progress. All those weeks with Mrs. Boxer (and others). Would she be able to move on? Would she stop? Those thoughts struck her with chills that made her shake.

"Well, here it goes."

"Lori," she said, carefully thinking through her words, "you came out perfectly. The cries you made were wonderful and it was a very proud moment in my life as well as your father's," she said, pushing her lips up into a grin. Hopefully that was enough to get that portion across. But then, just as quickly as it was delivered, the whole mask dropped, "But Leni...she came out too, but..." she paused. Once again she closed her eyes. She took several moments to clear her mind.

"She had troubles after coming out. The doctors did everything they could to help her, but," she then looked up and faced both her daughters intently with watery eyes, "they couldn't save her."

The two girls were stunned. There was barely any evidence of such an event occurring. For as long as either of them could remember, there were just enough clothes and furniture to go around. Well...almost no traces. Lori suddenly produced a vague image from several years ago, when she was in the attic with her mom. Those books. She had seen her's before. Why didn't she press her more further back then? Unfortunately, Lori couldn't remember that much.

Meanwhile, Leni was in a daze. At first, she found it confusing why her parents planned to have two kids with the same name. Wouldn't that get everyone all mixed up? She already had enough difficulty remembering names and other things. Why would they throw in another doozy to top it off? But this inquiry was quickly overwhelmed by a wave of sadness. She hated that disgusting emotion; it threw her into a funk, one that didn't go away as quickly as her body language suggested. But she couldn't help it. Much to Lori's outward annoyance, Leni had a knack for connecting with things very rapidly. Even if she didn't always show it, she felt fuzzy in her heart when she came across someone new (even if it was an inanimate object). However, as Lori once told her, things that soared high had a long fall ahead. Whatever that meant, she knew about Mrs. Boxer's cards. And, as the other two quickly noticed, she was clearly devastated.

Leni hugged her knees and whimpered.

"That's...so sad," she cried with her broken, muffled voice, "Doctors help people and make them better. Why couldn't they help my big sister?"

Rita made her way over to her crying daughter and hugged her, pushing back any sobbing of her own. She tucked her lips and started brushing Leni's pale blonde hair.

"They worked really hard," Rita said slowly, "they loved your sister as we did and they wanted to let her be able to grow up," she paused, "play with you, talk with you, be there for you," she then let out a sigh, "However sometimes, it doesn't work out."

Lori was astonished. She felt the force weighing down on her. To think that she was a twin this whole time. To think that within her own family, tragedy has struck. To think that in the modern age with advanced medicine and technology, it was still possible for something like this to happen. Yet she didn't feel her eyes well up. Shecouldn't bring herself to cry. She wondered if there was something wrong with her.

"Mom, Leni. Are you okay?" was all she could bring herself to say.

Her mother turned to her as a tear broke free from one of her eyes.

"It happened ten years ago and your Dad and I have been able to go back to our jobs and taking care of all you," she said as she stroked Leni once more. Each carress was soothing to the younger daughter, even as she cried into her leg, "But we never forgot. She was as much a part of this family as you and Leni and Luna and everyone else," she choked back a sob, "When we lost her, it was one of the lowest points of our lives. And sadly, no amount of time can change that. Even now I think about her, my Leni," she then paused. She leaned in and enveloped her second daughter even more and started rubbing her trembling back, "Thinking about all the happy moments she didn't get the chance to have still makes me emotional."

Lori felt her mouth hang. Even though it has toned down, both of the women before her were still weeping. And here her eyes were dry. It made her feel bad, come across of uncaring of what has happened. Did it even strike her, or was it all out of reach? Regardless, the eldest daughter maintained the need to be a part of this, as if saying something will make either of them feel even a little better.

"I'm sorry, Mom," Lori said softly.

"No!" Rita cried, short of breath, "Don't you ever say that! It wasn't your fault or the doctors' fault. It was nobody's fault," she then shot fiery wet eyes at her oldest daughter.

The mortified mother then cast down at Leni, whose cries had largely reduced to sniffles, "I want you two to know that you and all of your siblings are loved. No amount of pain or disaster will ever get rid of it. Do you understand?"

She caught Lori nodding from her eye's corner. She then looked down at Leni, whose face was still buried in her pant leg.

"Leni," she said, tapping her back, "do you get it?"

"Yes, Mommy," she replied, deflated.

"I never want any of you to feel like you're not loved," Rita said firmly, still looking at Leni, "Don't ever feel like me and Dad regret having you. You are special. All of you. You brighten up our days, you inspire us and those around you. And if you ever doubt that, never be afraid to come to your family. We can talk, hug it out. Because we Louds will always be there for each other."

Leni moved and revealed her tear-stricken face and red, puffy eyes. But instead of a frown, there was a fledgling smile on her face. She gave her mother an intimate look before surprising her with a tight hug.

"I love you Mommy," she said, her voice sore from crying.

Rita then smiled herself and brushed her daughter's long, flowing hair.

"I love you too. You are my sunshine, Leni."

"I'm not in the sky, silly," Leni said, giggling, "I'm down here with you."

As Lori observed this scene, she used one of her hands to rub up and down her arm. It was a little embarrassing seeing this unfold. In fact, this ordeal had be mushy to say the least.

"Lori," Rita said. The girl then turned to her mother's recovering face, "Come over here."

Yet upon seeing her mother's encouraging wave, Lori couldn't help herself. She crawled over to Rita's other leg and hugged her from the other side. Being inches from one of her sisters cranked up the awkwardness to an unprecedented high, but for once, she felt that was a good thing. Even sticks in the mud like her need love.

As she held that embrace, Lori looked over to Leni, who's smile had grown to that of a loon. Suddenly, Lori wondered how this would change things going forward. She knew Leni could be absent-minded, seemingly aloof, or (in the best cases) resilient. But she also understood that her sister had a different way of life, a different brain, a different view. Would she be surprised by what she was capable of?

Did it matter right now?