A/N: Hey ya'll! I really hope you enjoy this piece because I enjoyed writing it a super lot! I would've had it up sooner, but other artistic abilities where calling my name today. Either way, it's up now. Read. Smile at the cuteness. Review. Ask questions. Make comments. Give me any plot ideas you'd like to add. Etc. Etc. Etc.
Oh! And don't forget to enjoy! :)
~R
"MOMMMA! I'M HOME!" the shout echoed through the house. "Where you be?"
Emma jolted from Regina's lap and hit the floor with a loud thud. Her eyes slammed shut at the pain she accidentally put her body through once again.
"Fuuuuuuccc-" Emma started to groan out before the clearing of a throat stopped her in the middle. She decided, though it was unfair to expect so much out of her in a clear moment of pain, that she would switch the word, "ddgge. Fudge. Fudge. Fudgity-Fudge with fudge on top. Fudge."
The blonde heard a laugh and opened her eyes to see a round face and a pair of huge, beautiful brown eyes staring down at her. She felt the boy's brown locks tickle her face and blew air at them, attempting- and failing- to move them from where they hung in her face.
"Emmuh! What you doin on the fluh?" the boy asked with another giggle.
"Oh, y'know…. I'm just, uh, making sure it's still there," the blonde replied lamely, slapping the floor for effect. "Yup, still there."
"Let me hep you, Em," the little boy laid down next to her and knocked his knuckles on the hardwood. "Yup, still there," he repeated the blonde before moving to a new spot on the floor and knocking. "Still here, too!"
Before she knew it, Emma was slithering along the floor in an army crawl, helping Henry check every inch of the living room. Unbeknownst to the two, Regina slipped out of the room to chat with her mother, but not before taking the opportunity to snap a few dozen pictures of the duo.
When Regina entered the kitchen she started to laugh quietly, "Mother, you have to see this. Those two are 'checking the floor to make sure it's still there'."
The brunette held her phone out to her mother. The two flipped through pictures with matching grins and gentle laughter.
"Emma is so great with Henry," Cora commented. "I'm very glad you took a chance on her dear."
"Me too," Regina agreed with a matching smile. "Mother, I was meaning to ask you for a favor."
"Yes, dear?"
"Well, you know Emma, Henry and I spent the day at the hospital yesterday, and that's no big deal, but when the doctors discharged her, they said she needed to be on a sort of bedrest for the next couple of weeks. They also said they want someone around to take care of her if the need should arise," the younger brunette trailed off, rubbing her hands together in her nervousness.
"...And you would like to be that woman?" Cora asked. She knew exactly what Regina wanted to ask, but she was not going to be easy on her daughter.
Where would be the fun in that? Cora asked herself, a giggle resounding through her mind.
"Yes, of course, mother," Regina replied, "but I have a scheduling problem if I choose to be that person."
"So switch a few meetings," Cora suggested, "or if it's Henry, I'm sure he wouldn't mind being home from preschool for a few days." Cora watched as Regina fidgeted even more, trying not to show her smile.
"No, Henry's not the problem, and I can always reschedule my meetings, mother. It's just that…"
"Just what, dear?" the elder brunette asked, still faking confusion.
"Mother, will you please come back to the school for the next couple of weeks and resume your old position?" the brunette rushed out. "If you say yes, you'll also have to cover my classes, which won't be too difficult because it's only the two creative writing classes. Also, the students are in the middle of a big paper that isn't due until after I return."
"And what is the topic they'll be writing about?" Cora raised a brow, curious as to what her daughter's mind thought up this time.
"They're writing a fictional story about whatever topic they may choose. It must be at least ten pages and at least 95% grammatically correct, but preferably 100%, of course. I expect nothing less from my students."
"Well, that sounds fun!" Cora explained, clapping her hands. "I'd love to dear. Why didn't you ask sooner?"
"I was a little busy," Regina replied, looking down at her feet.
"Oh? Are you speaking of the heated make-out session that your son and I walked in on this afternoon?"
The younger brunette's eyes blew wide as she took in what her mother just said. "Wh-what are you t-talking about mother?" Regina stuttered through her words, the shock and embarrassment rushing into her cheeks in a bright red flush.
"Don't worry, dear. Henry didn't see anything," Cora reassured. "The couch is much too tall for the child. I, however, got quite the eyefull."
Regina groaned, "You did not."
"Oh, I did," her mother laughed. "And I just have to say, Regina, you should always take the bra with the shirt. Don't try to unclasp it unless you absolutely have to. Just tug it over her head. It saves time later, dear."
"No." Regina put her hands over her brilliantly red face. "We are not having this conversation. Now or ever."
"I'm just trying to help you out, Regina," Cora responded. "It wasn't too long ago that I experimented in college. It just always seemed to save me time. You can get to the breasts faster that way, and everyone's in it for the breasts, dear. Don't you think?"
"It doesn't matter what I think about breasts, Mother," Regina said, eyes squeezed shut as she wished to be anywhere but where she was currently standing. "What matters is the fact that this conversation isn't over yet.."
Regina practically ran out of the kitchen and to the front door, grabbing her mother's stuff along the way. Behind her, Cora trailed, grinning like the cat that ate the canary.
"Oh, stop being such a prude, Regina," her mother chastised. "You definitely weren't when I first got here."
"I love you, Mom, but I think it's time you leave for the night," the younger woman handed Cora her jacket and purse as Emma walked up behind her, holding Henry.
"Thanks so much for taking Henry today, Cora," Emma said, smiling over Regina's shoulder and placing a hand on her back. "Reggie and I finally had time to have a well-needed discussion. Thank you, again."
"Was the topic that lovely shirt of yours?" Cora asked with a smirk. "Or maybe it was what shape the couch was in, right Regina dear?"
Emma looked on, clearly confused as Regina turned beet red and flung open the door. The brunette wrapped an arm around her mother's torso and flung her out into the night.
"Goodnight mother," the brunette called. "I'll text you my usual schedule later. Get lots of sleep tonight."
"Goodnight dear," the woman called back, waving over her shoulder. Her laugh echoed out into the night.
Regina slammed the door before huffing out a big sigh and leaning against it.
"What was that about?" Emma asked with a grin.
"My mother is taking over my classes for the next couple of weeks while I take care of you," Regina explained.
"That's sweet, Reggie, but honestly unnecessary," Emma put Henry down and watched him run back to the living room before leaning in and leaving a light peck on Regina's cheek. "I'm a big girl, Regina. I know you're worried, and I really don't mind spending the time with you, so I won't complain, but you have to know I'm not made of glass."
The brunette woman grabbed Emma around the middle, squeezing her tightly. She pressed her face into the blonde's chest.
"I know you're strong, Emma. I know," Regina conceded, "but I still want to be there for you and to help you."
"You can help by making dinner!" Emma shouted enthusiastically as her stomach rumbled once again. "Then, when we're done, we can lie down and cuddle, and we don't have to move for, like, a whole two weeks! Right?"
"Well, I do still have to take care of my son," Regina reasoned with a smile.
Emma groaned and pouted at the woman in her arms. She turned and shouted over her shoulder, "Henry! Stop killin' the moment, dude!"
The women smiled at each other until the young boy's silence stretched out a little too long. Just as the two were about to search for him, they heard a succession of knocks, and a small voice call back, "The fluh's still here!"
Regina waltzed into her mansion, searching for something to do. It was only a few days into her two weeks of downtime, and already the brunette was going mad. The last two days consisted of cleaning every room in the house and dusting until everything was spotless. It seemed like a good idea at the time, but as Regina continued on into the house, she realized that it had taken a turn for the worse. Regina Mills now had more spare time than she ever dreamed of.
What the hell am I supposed to do with 'spare time'? The brunette questioned with a furrow of her brow. She sunk down into the couch and closed her eyes tightly, wishing for something- anything- to occupy her time until the blonde woke up. When she opened them, she zeroed in on a red scrap that hung off the side of Regina's leather sofa.
With a sigh of relief and an internal cheer, the brunette picked up the red leather monstrosity Emma deemed a jacket and ran to her washing machine. From the looks of the worn leather, it had been some time since anyone had taken the care to wash the jacket, and though Regina always considered it risky to wash leather in her own home (a side effect of her wealthy upbringing), the brunette promised herself she'd play by all the rules on the jacket's tag to ensure it's safety throughout the process.
Regina looked at the symbols, pulling from the back of her memory what each one meant. Once she had all the machine's dials set properly, the brunette turned on the machine. Just before tossing in the blonde's beloved jacket, Regina checked all the pockets, making sure she didn't destroy anything valuable to the woman that was currently sleeping upstairs.
Not finding anything in any of the other pockets, Regina almost skipped the one pouch she knew would be on the inside of the jacket. Obviously Emma just didn't carry anything on her person, or Regina would've discovered it by now. Still, not wanting to upset the blonde should she accidentally ruin a set of headphones or the like, the brunette pulled out all the stops.
Regina's hand pulled down the zipper and shock crossed her face as she felt something inside. It was a good thing the woman didn't choose to skip the inside pocket after all. The brunette pulled out a folded up piece of paper and set it off to the side before lowering the jacket into the water and lowering the lid of the machine.
Regina stared at the paper, wondering what it was. She knew she shouldn't look, but one peek wouldn't hurt, would it? Emma was always completely open with her, so there would be nothing bad to find. Would there?
I'm just bored and wanting something to preoccupy the time. Regina reassured herself. Daddy did always say "Idleness is chief mistress."
The brunette turned and walked from the room. There was no way she was going to interrupt Emma's privacy like that… until less than thirty seconds later when the brunette came sprinting back in the room, hand instantly reaching for the paper. Again, she tried to remind herself that this was wrong, but her mind was itching to know what the folded-up paper held.
Unfolding the paper slowly until it was only folded in half, the brunette closed her eyes and took a deep breath. It was now or never. She either opened both the note and her eyes, or she put it back down before walking away. Choosing the former, the brunette shot her eyes open with the sound of crinkling paper and stared at the sheet in her hands.
Regina's heart stopped. This couldn't be what she thought it was. She should just close the paper now before she ruined anything Emma had planned. Oh, but Regina's mind was a curious one, and the brunette couldn't tear her eyes away from the list in front of her for even a moment as the woman started to read and reread the script.
Ways to "Woo" the Most Beautiful Woman in the World (Regina Mills)
Cut out a bunch of paper hearts and write everything you say you "like" (but really just love more than anything) about her.
Regina flashed back to the first time Emma had intentionally made her "wooing" known. Cleaning up all the little paper hearts in her Mercedes was a pain, but the meaning behind them warmed her heart.
Buy her flowers. Not just any flowers, but the most beautiful. And LOTS.
Another smile overtook the brunette as she read the second step and thought about the surprise and shock that overtook her when the men from the flower company delivered Emma's gift.
Cook for her.
The chicken parmesan, the lasagne, and the cupcake that started it all crossed the professor's mind, a tear of joy falling from her eye and a laugh from her lips as she remembered the initial meeting between her and the blonde. My, how far they had come.
Bring her coffee. (Make sure it's the kind she likes first. Don't wanna mess that one up.)
Thinking back, Emma had never asked her what type of coffee the older woman drank, but the blonde had never brought the wrong thing into the professor's office. Not even on her first day of her punishment… which still isn't over, Regina reminded herself.
Listen to her when she speaks and respect what she says… even when her "assetts" are calling your attention and are much more pleasant to look at than the assignment she is giving you.
"Rule 23," Regina whispered with a smile. "Rule 23 and your first assignment of the year."
Make sure all assignments are turned in 100% correct and on time. Add flourishments so there's no way she can miss your work. (Add innuendos? ;) )
Of course the blonde would consider adding sexual innuendos to her assignments for Regina's class. The brunette had even found a few over the few weeks the blonde had taken her class. She questioned them for awhile, but just figured it was a part of being her weird, beautiful Emma.
Respect her friends and family.
Even when my sister tried to beat the life out of her, she stuck to this stupid rule. The brunette was dumbfounded at Emma's commitment to wooing her. Did the blonde really think she was worth all of this?
Now that you know she has a son (WHAT?!)... treat him like you wanted to be treated as a child. Spoil him rotten. Care about him. This one isn't really about wooing her, but being there for the kid.
Even with the blonde's less than stellar parents during her childhood, Regina could see how naturally Emma fit into being a makeshift parent for Henry. She cooked for him, cleaned up after him, entertained him when needed, and within the last few days, the blonde had even started to help Regina with his bedtime routine, which is something the brunette wouldn't trust anyone beyond her immediate family with.
Be her rock when she needs it, and never dismiss her worries or thoughts. Make sure to be open with her, too.
Her mind didn't have to think too hard to come up with the flashback of the nights she and Emma stayed awake talking about their pasts. It still hurt to think about it all, but seeing the blonde's smiling face now connected to the memories wiped away any tears the brunette would've shed.
Tell her you love her all the time because, face it, Swan….YOU REALLY FREAKING LOVE HER.
She really loves me. She really, really does. I love her, too.
Keep adding to this list for as long as she keeps you around. Never quit surprising her with new affections and wooing techniques.
The words she read on this paper alone were enough to make the brunette swoon, and the thought of Emma continuing the list for the rest of their lives made Regina's heart threaten to burst with unspoken joy. She just wanted to run upstairs and kiss Emma's soft lips off her adorably beautiful face.
Regina's eyes dropped to the last entry on the page and her expression quickly changed from unabashed love to show the untouched desire that ran through her every time she was near Emma.
…...lap dance? (Never bring this up, in case it's too crass for her, but maybe just surprise her when the time is right? Like her birthday or an anniversary or something?)
Regina folded up the paper, promising herself she would replace it as soon as Emma's jacket was dried and cleaned. There was only one way the blonde was going to find out about the brunette reading her list, and that way involved a lot of planning on the professor's part. Suddenly, Regina wasn't looking for some intricate plan to pass the time. She had just found it.