Sorry I didn't post yesterday! My internet was out. I felt bad because I left you all with a super short chapter and then skipped a day. But here's an update, a little longer than last. My internet seems to be fine now and we aren't expecting any storms until Thursday so I should be good to go. Thanks for reading! =)

Chapter Fifty Five

The closet was smaller than he remembered. Eighteen years ago when he had hidden in it, it had seemed almost cavernous. Now it was just a regular closet. All he had been planning on doing was changing into clothes that weren't wet. He had been so sure that he was going to be okay with this. God knew he wanted to be okay with it. He had been in the house a thousand times at least since leaving it when he had been a boy. It was just a house. Nothing but a house. Wood. Plaster. Brick. Mortar. Secrets. Pain. Screams. Blood.

He didn't realize that he was gripping the door until he heard a soft sound behind him. He slammed it shut with a crash, turning, eyes seeking out the threat he knew was there. But there was no threat. There was only Carol. She was regarding him with wide eyes that almost looked frightened. He realized then that he was breathing too hard. They stared at each other for a few long moments before he finally cleared his throat. "Hey. I was just grabbin' somethin' dry."

She nodded, searching his eyes. He looked away, not wanting her to see what might be there. "Are you okay?" She asked, her voice soft and somehow soothing.

He nodded, opened the closet door again, reached in without looking and pulled out a shirt. What the hell was wrong with him? Why was this happening to him now? Buck and Merle had been worried about this. They hadn't said as much but he knew they were. And here he was, finding it hard to catch his breath. He felt panicked. He felt like he was nine years old all over again, trying to hide. Trying to hide instead of fight.

She was suddenly right there in front of him, her hands gripping the sides of his face and forcing him to look at her. For one horrifying moment her eyes were brown. Accusing. He blinked and they were gone. Replaced by the familiar light blue. He didn't know what she may have seen in his face but she pulled him closer, her arms going around his neck, holding on tightly. He hesitated at first, resting his hands on her hips but slowly they wound around her, his forehead dropping to her shoulder. He didn't realize until that moment that he was shaking. Not just his hands. His whole being seemed to tremble slightly. He had no idea what was happening to him but he wanted the feeling, the helpless fucking feeling that he loathed, to go away.

He forced himself to focus on breathing in and out, closing his eyes and tightening his hold on her. He was sure that she didn't know specifics but he could tell by how tightly she held on to him that she knew that something wasn't right. He breathed deep, the scent of her warm clean skin calming him. When she finally loosened her hold on him he did the same, his hands gripping her waist as he slid his thumbs along the slight bump. He felt vulnerable. Something he hadn't felt in a long time but it wasn't all that bad. It wasn't bad because it was her there to witness it and that somehow was okay with him.

He dredged up other memories. The way the house smelled during the holidays when he had been a boy. Waking up Christmas morning and throwing himself down the stairs because he knew the house would be filled with family and he would have a ton of gifts waiting for him. He thought about all the times his mom had told him that some day, if him and Merle played their cars just right, she'd have the house filled with grandkids. He'd always make a face and shake his head and tell her that other than her and June girls were weird and he wanted nothing to do with them. This thought, at least, had a bittersweet feeling replacing the awful one. He wanted to make this place the home that his mom had made for him. He couldn't let that one night ruin this. It had already ruined enough.

She leaned up, kissing his jaw lightly before pulling back. "We're gonna be okay."

He didn't trust his voice anymore so he just nodded.

"And thank you. For whatever you said to Sophia."

He kept moving his thumbs over her stomach, back and forth, and his mind left that dark place, opting instead to think about if in six short months he would have a son or a daughter. And would it look more like her or him? Would it have her compassion and calm or would it have a wild streak as long as his? Would it be kind and quiet like Sophia or blunt and outspoken like Piper? Who the hell was in there? And then the terrifying question that had plagued him since finding out. Would he be able to protect it? Would he be able to be the man that this kid could look up to? Or would he somehow let them all down?

"We should get back down there. I left Merle to watch the food. You know what he thinks we're up here doing," she said after a few more silent moments.

Before she could pull away he grabbed the sides of her face and pulled her forward. He barely brushed his lips over hers. "You really think we're gonna be alright?" he whispered.

She moved her face back just enough so she could meet his eyes. There was a fire in hers that he hadn't seen before. "Yes. Without a shadow of a doubt in my mind. We're going to be just fine. We'll be fine because you want it to be fine, I want it to be fine and we're both going to bust our asses to make this work. And anyone that thinks otherwise can go straight to hell." The conviction in her voice stilled the rest of the emotions raging inside of him. A calmness took the place of the chaos and he found himself having another one of those moments like they had shared in her room. Exhilarating and terrifying all at once. She blinked in surprise, searching his eyes. "What is that?" She whispered.

"What?" He asked, knowing that she couldn't be feeling the same thing he did.

She smiled, looking dazed and shook her head. "Nothing. Lets go before Merle burns the house down." She gripped his hand and pulled him towards the door.

He stopped suddenly, wrapping an arm around her and pulling her back against him, kissing her neck soundly, feeling more himself now.

"What was that for?" She asked, glancing over her shoulder with a grin when he finally let her go.

He shook his head. "Nothin'. Let's get this over with."

"You aren't looking forward to a big meal with your family?"

"I'm always lookin' forward to bein' with my family. But I'm ready to get started on our own routine, without a goddamn house full all the time."

She laughed and grabbed his hand. "You're already nesting."

He snorted. "The fuck you talkin' about, woman? I look like a bird to you?"

She shook her head, flashing him an indulgent smile. "One more thing before we get back down there."

"What's that?" He asked, eying her suspiciously.

"I know that you might worry. You might wonder if you have what it takes to be a good father. I think it's important for you to know that within the last few hours today, you've proven to be a better father to Sophia than her own ever could imagine being. You're full of so many great things and fatherhood, that's just going to be one more thing that you excel at. Just in case you were doubting, I wanted you to know that I'm not. I already know how it's going to be.

He stared at her, trying to think of something to say to her but he couldn't voice any of his thoughts at the moment. He felt better. Much better than he had just ten minutes ago. He was going to be able to do this. He could live in this house and he could raise a family here. He wouldn't do the same things Buck had done. He wouldn't make the same mistakes Buck had made. They would be okay because the two of them were going to make it okay.

~H~

Sophia chose to sit between Daryl and Randy since they were the one's furthest away from Piper and Damon. June and Carol talked quietly. Everyone seemed to be having their own conversations but she was sitting there miserable and awkward. It didn't make her feel any better that Damon and Piper looked just as miserable and awkward as they picked at their meal.

Daryl glanced down at her and frowned. He looked down the table at the two other depressed looking teens and then back to her. To her surprise he stood up, grabbed her hand and pulled her out of her chair while everyone else just watched. Sophia thought she was going to die as everyone looked at her. Daryl pointed at Damon. "You. Now."

Damon got up quickly and followed them out of the room.

"Daryl, what are you doing?" She hissed.

He didn't say anything. Instead he led her out to the porch before he dropped her hand. Damon shut the door behind him and tried to meet her eyes but she looked away.

"Fix it," Daryl demanded.

Sophia clenched her teeth. What in the hell was he doing? "There isn't anything to fix," she snapped. She tried to walk past him so she could go back inside but he gripped her shoulders gently, turned her around and gave her a small shove towards Damon. "Fix it or sleep in the rain."

She stared at him. "You can't be serious."

His eyes went to Damon and he pointed at him. "I don't know what you've gone and done but if you hurt her again, ever, it's your ass, boy."

Damon nodded, nothing but respect in his eyes for the older Dixon. Daryl gave him a stiff nod of his own. "When you're done, send Damon back in and I'll send Piper out here. We can't be having any bad blood in this family. Not for any reason." With that he turned around and went back inside, shutting the door soundly behind him.

"Will you listen to me now?" Damon asked, sounding closer than he had been just a few seconds ago.

She looked at the door and then glanced over her shoulder at the rain that was still coming down before her eyes finally landed on him. She didn't want to talk to him. The only thing he did was confuse the hell out of her. She should have listened to herself when she first met him and her first impression had been that he was trouble. "I've been listening to you for three months. It's gotten me nowhere," she said.

He blew out a frustrated breath and pushed his long hair out of his face. "Don't you remember me trying to talk you out of all of it? I tried to talk you out of coming with us that day and I definitely didn't want you talking to that son of a bitch. But you wouldn't fuckin listen. You never listen. And now you're makin' me out to be the bad guy when the only goddamn thing I've tried to do since meeting you is keep you away from anything that could fucking hurt you. If you want this to be over then that's your choice but don't you stand there and act like you expected me to fuck things up. I've never tried so goddamn hard at anything in my life as much as I've tried to make sure you're okay."

"You lied to me."

"I didn't tell you everything. Okay. What the fuck was I suppose to say? Why the fuck do you think I just wanted you to stay out of it? You know what I think?" He was glaring at her now, his dark eyes flashing. "I think this is an excuse. You want out because you're scared."

She shook her head. "That's not true."

"Bullshit. That's bullshit and you know it's bullshit, Sophia. Whatever this is, it's fucking intense and it's real and if you think it don't scare the fuck out of me too then you're crazy. We're goddamn teenagers. Things ain't suppose to be so... heavy."

She shook her head but she couldn't force any words out of her mouth.

"Then why the hell would you just blow me off after making up some fucking offense? Because you know that I'm right. I tried to keep you away. Why the hell would you break up with me over a situation you put your damn self in?"

She chewed her lip, wishing that Daryl hadn't done this to her.

"It's because of what happened the other night isn't it?" He asked, giving her a knowing look.

She felt her face flame as memories of that night came charging to the surface of her thoughts. "Nothing happened."

He scoffed and shook his head. "Bullshit. Everything happened except that. And the only reason that didn't happen was because neither one of us had anything and neither one of us wanted to end up in the same situation as Daryl and your mom. That was the only reason it didn't happen."

She shook her head and swallowed hard.

"You're scared and you're making up excuses."

She shook her head again. "I'm not scared and I'm not making up excuses." It was a lie and she knew it. She knew it now anyway. She hadn't wanted to admit it to herself and she didn't want to admit it to him, but it was the truth.

"Then what is it? Cause your excuse is flimsy as fuck. This don't have a damn thing to do with Dave. What the hell did I do wrong? Was I out of line? Is that it, because I didn't know it at the time if I was. Just tell me so I can stop wondering."

"Nothing. You didn't do anything wrong." No, he had done everything right. She felt more heat rushing to her face.

He crossed his arms over his chest and leaned against the banister. "Then what is it?" He asked again, his voice softer now. "You do know that that ain't a big deal, right? It ain't like I expect more or anything."

She met his eyes and saw nothing but sincerity. "I just..." She wasn't sure what to say. She felt stupid voicing her fears out loud but knowing she needed to say something. "From now on, do you swear that you won't try to keep things from me? Maybe what you did wasn't as bad as I made it seem but what if... you know. That had happened? I don't want to lose my virginity to some asshole that lies to me and keeps secrets. That's kind of a big deal. Maybe not to you but it is to me."

He nodded, relief clear on his face. "I won't. I swear."

She wasn't sure if this meant she was giving in too easily but she really didn't want to fight with him. She definitely didn't want to break up with him. During everything that had happened over the last several months he had been the one constant thing. The one person that she could count on no matter what and he had been that person for her since the first day she had spoken to him. Throughout the nightmare with Ed. Daryl going to jail. Her mother being sick. Through it all he had been there. Now she just felt bad. "You're right," she whispered, feeling like the world was tilting on her. "I am scared."

He pushed off the banister and took a few steps towards her but he stopped, unsure if she would want him to touch her. "Of what?"

She shrugged. "What would I do without you? What if somehow you end up realizing that I'm really not like you and you shouldn't-"

"Sophia that's the stupidest thing I've ever heard in my life," he barked.

She looked away, crossing her arms over chest. "I know."

"What the hell would make you think somethin' like that?"

She shrugged, still not looking at him. "You hear about that all the time. Girls put out and as soon as the guy get's what he wants he just moves on to the next stupid girl."

"Are you hearing yourself! I wasn't even the one that started any of that! You were! And in the end you didn't even put out! Man, that sounded bad. I wasn't expecting you to... Goddamn it," he grumbled and she could swear that he blushed.

"You didn't need much coaxing before you... did stuff," she muttered.

"Yeah, well, after I started doing the stuff you sure as hell weren't telling me to stop," he countered.

Her face burned hotter. "Can we not talk about it?"

"Was it really that bad because I distinctly remember you telling me to not st-"

"Stop!" Sophia hissed, closing the distance between them.

He flashed her a quick grin but then he grew serious again. "So are you over it now? Can things just go back to normal?"

She nodded and that was all the consent he needed before his arms went around her. She felt better. More than better, really. She almost wished that she wasn't so dependent on him. Like she wasn't a whole person and she wasn't ever safe unless he was close to her. It was stupid. She was too young to feel that much for a boy. Then again, she didn't feel very young anymore and she knew he didn't either.