Chapter 11
AN: I'm so overwhelmed by the reviews. I mean seriously everyone. Thank you. I have a lot in store for this family. I'm already received some requests for particular paired flashbacks that people want to see. Please sent me your requests I'll try to accommodate.
Thank you thank you for the reviews.
Chickability: Your reviews make me laugh and make my day. They're full of whit and greatness. Thank you. I hope you like this update. Don't worry, Puck's storyline will develop more in the next few chapters.
Amanda: I'm sorry I gave you a headache. This chapter is a little longer. Maybe pull over this time. thank you for sacrificing your head for the story.
WittyNinja: You'll find out more about the Corcoran children as we go. I promise. I hope you enjoy the chapter.
Slushied: I'm sorry you teared up. Let me know if you teared up here.
AcexofxSpades: Thank you for the review
A: The only Faberry you'll get is sisterly Faberry. I am a huge fan of Faberry but Rachel is 11. She's too little. Don't worry, I'm a huge Brittana fan. There a few scenes here. There's going to be a fairly big focus on Brittana in future chapters as their "relationship" develops.
Emhsdogs'12: Thank you. I am always humbled by your compliments. Serioiusly thank you. the relationships will surely be bumps. Unquestionably, get ready, it'll be a ride.
dragonrider94: thank you. I'm glad you're liking the fic so much. I hope you enjoy the chapter.
Fdlans: Thank you for the review. Quinn and Rachel will definitely form a bond. Rachel was very scared at the time. You see more of her experiences a little here.
broadwaybound2016: best chapter yet? Whoa! Thank you. I'm glad you're enjoying this story so much. I hope you enjoy the update.
TieMeDownToYourSoul: I actually just opened Changes and have started to work on it. I won't be doing Quinntana. Other than sisters. Brittana all the way. ….. Yes, you learn a little more about Will in this chapter. Brace yourself. Thank you. Let me know what you think.
ajunebuga: Thank you. Made you cry? On the bus? I'm sorry. Thank you for your acknowledgement on my attempted sensitivity on the subject. I'm really trying my best.
Rosetta288: Thank you. I try to write the different character's POV. Its essential for the chapter. There are a few Quinn/San moments and Shelby/Quinn moments that you may love. Let me know what you think. Thank you.
Twilight2892: thank you. let me know what you think.
Marinka4: I'm sorry I made you want to cry during all of the flashbacks. One of my editors started to cry during one of these flashbacks. Let me know what you think Thank you for the review.
Jennifer0912: thank you. it's nice to hear from you. the human spirit is incredible. Thank you for appreciating this little story. Let me know what you think
OTHangels: Thank you. Yes, we may be seeing more softer San and Quinn. Let me know what you think.
Wentzie72: thank you. I hope you enjoy this chapter. I try to write and embrace the characters the best I can.
Sweetdreamer94: where's your update, girlie? Jk I know you have things thank you for all of the love for my little Corcoran family. Cannot wait for your update and please let me know what you think.
w1cked: I'm sorry I'm straining your heart. I hope you see more light . I'm sorry I make you so sad with the flashbacks. Please let me know what you think with this next update. Thank you
val-cb: thank you! I hope you enjoy
Hail the Wolves: I hoped you like this chapter. Thank you for the review.
Cissy Black Malfoy: thank you for the review. I hope you like this chapter and it makes your stomach churn less.
NayaFan: thank you. It means a lot that you reviewed. Let me know what you think.
Carebearpasq: I hope you liked this chapter. Thank you. you will def find out more with each chapter.
NinjaGleek21: Little san and rach have been through a lot. It's very very sad. Let me know what you think.
TommyH: Thank you. let me know what you think.
HIsland429: thank you. Quinn and Rachel's friendship will increase. There will be more flashbacks. Let me know what you think.
a: thank you. I hope you like this chapter.
Shelby stood and looked at Dr. Pierce with a tilt of her head. "When can I take her home?" She rethought. "To our home."
Dr. Pierce looked at her with a small smile. "Once we got in there, we noticed that the welts went lower down her back, buttocks and to the tops of her thighs. They, for the most part, looked like they were healing well, but there were a few that needed to be drained of infection. She'll have to wear the drains for the weekend and Dr. Wiseman can take them out Monday. While we have the infections covered for the most part, we're still giving her a full IV of antibiotics. I want to make sure we get it all out." He saw Shelby's look of confusion. "Go home to the kids. She'll be out like a light for another twelve hours at least."
Shelby frowned. She had just been pulled out the memory of seeing her two year old in the hospital. She didn't want to leave Quinn alone here. Even if she was unconscious, she couldn't do it. It hurt too much
"I can't leave her here," Shelby said wrapped her arms more tightly around her coat that was draped over her arms.
"Shelby," Dr. Pierce said softly. "She has you. You'll be here before she wakes up. She'll be sleeping all night." He sighed and looked over her shoulder as he gathered his thoughts. "Your kids look exhausted."
She followed his gaze and saw her three get off of the elevator. She gave a heavy sigh. She couldn't leave them alone tonight. She knew that at least one of them would have nightmare tonight. She especially knew that all of them were stuck in their pasts because of the hospital. However, she was still torn. She couldn't leave Quinn alone.
"Yes, well they are," Shelby said with another sigh as she looked at her watch. "It's almost ten o'clock." She shook her head. "I don't understand. Why can't I take her home? Why can't she get those meds at home with me?"
She looked over her shoulder and caught Puck's eyes and silently told him to take the girls into the waiting room.
"Because they're more aggressive and effective this way. She has a terrible infection, Shelby. We're fixing this." He gave her a soft smile. "Valerie is still here. She's really bothered by all this especially because we've known her for so long….. I'm really bothered by this whole situation. Brittany doesn't know the details of course, but she's worried too. Listen, let's have Valerie stay with Quinn so that she's not alone. Melanie is home for Fall Break at Yale and is at home with Brittany now. I know Valerie would love to stay." He watched as Shelby considered and looked over her shoulder again. "Is Rachel alright?" he suddenly asked.
Shelby turned and saw that Rachel sitting sideways on Puck's lap with her head resting on his shoulder and Santana was rubbing her back. She could see from across the room that Rachel's breaths were hitched. She sighed.
"She's been on and off the nebulizer all week. She probably needs another treatment. Plus they're all not fans of hospitals. They've spent too much time in them. I need to get them home." The woman rested her hand on her forehead. "Be honest with me, Tom." She met his eyes. "Quinn's okay. She's going to be fine, right?"
"Yes, Shelby, she will be. There are always minor, minor risks of complications, but she pulled through. All she needs is rest and these aggressive antibiotics," Dr. Pierce assured her. He pulled out his phone. "Let me call Valerie. We'll have her sit with her. Okay?" Shelby conceded and gave a small nod. He looked up at the kids. "I'll let you tell them and if you want to I can take you back to her room." He put his hand on her shoulder. "It'll be alright."
She gave her old friend a smile but it came off more as a grimace. "Thanks, Tom."
He had his phone to his ear as he waited for his wife to pick up. He nodded. "Of course." He looked in the direction of the kids. "If she can't wait for the neb before you get home let me know."
Shelby gave a small nod and started toward the kids.
"Is she awake?" Rachel asked as continued to lean into her brother, but sat up a little. Shelby gave a smile to her daughter's tired face.
"No, sweetheart," Shelby said as she sat across from the kids. "She's going to stay the night here.-''
"What?" Santana asked.
"Why?" Rachel asked leaning toward her mother.
"She needs to be hooked up to an IV of antibiotics for the night. Dr. Pierce took good care of her. The infections are being taken care of, but she can't have the IV at home. She's going to be sleeping for the rest of the night." She allowed the kids to soak in her words.
"Is she alright?" Noah asked tightening his grip gently on Rachel.
"She is. And she'll be better once she has all of these meds in her system," Shelby assured.
"She's going to hate being here," Santana said putting her hand reassuringly on Rachel's back.
"I know," Shelby said. "But she needs to get better." She watched her youngest carefully as she processed the information.
"You shouldn't leave her," Rachel whispered. "You can't. We're her family now."
Shelby bit her lip. "She'll be with Valerie, bug. She won't be alone. And we'll be back before she wakes up." She saw Rachel's trepidation. "I promise."
"Can I see her before we leave?" Rachel's question was small and barely above a whisper.
"Bug, it's late. She's sleeping," Santana said gently.
"I just…. I need to make sure she's okay," she muttered.
Shelby gave her a small smile. "Alright, bug." She held her hand out to her youngest and she took it. "Would you like to come?" Shelby asked looking at her two eldest children.
Noah shook his head. Santana folded her arms.
"No," she said distinctly.
Santana watched as her mother and sister disappeared down the hallway.
"This is fucked up," she said to her brother.
"Do you think of her as family?" Noah asked leaning against the back of the waiting room chair.
"What do you think, Sherlock?" Santana asked.
"It's just…. Weird…" he said as Rachel and Shelby finally disappeared around the corner. "I mean she's Quinn Fabray."
Santana looked over carefully at her brother. "Yeah, I know."
"Family," Noah said with a chuckle. He shook his head and watched another doctor walk past. "We need to get out of here. I hate this place."
She looked back over at her brother. She gave a sigh and looked at her hands. She felt her hands getting clammy. She hated hospitals too but eight years ago she wasn't there as much as Rachel nor was she able to visit as much as Puck. "You got to see her more than I did at the hospital."
"That's because you were a pain in the ass," he said with a small grin as he nudged his shoulder.
He regretted his words when he saw his sister's fallen face.
"I …. I hated that she was here alone. That's what she's freaking out about," Santana said. She shook her head. "I was so ….. I just didn't …." Santana gathered her thoughts. "I was mad… and I -''
"You had every right to be angry—'' Noah started.
Santana glared at him, but softened. "She needed me."
He sighed. "You were eight."
"You weren't much older and you knew not to throw chairs or destroy your room," Santana said folding her arms tighter.
Noah shrugged. "We all have our skills." He gave her a soft smile. "You have her now. That's all that matters."
"Yeah…. And instead of being grounded at the home for throwing crap now I'm scaring the shit out of her instead. So much better now to be the cause of her anxiety."
Puck watched his sister battle with herself internally. He reached his arm up and wrapped it around her shoulders pulling her into his side. The normally tough girl sank into her brother.
"What happened wasn't your fault," he murmured. He kissed the top of her head gently. "You're my sister and I was never mad at you. Rachel was never mad and neither was Mom. So," he paused and met her eyes. "You need to stop being mad at yourself about what happened."
"Easier said than done," Santana grumbled as she leaned against her brother.
…
Rachel took her mother's hand and walked with her down the hallway. She felt her heart threatening to beat out of her chest. She was scared for Quinn. She didn't want to leave the girl she had come to accept as her sister alone. She couldn't do it. Her mother gave her hand a reassuring squeeze.
"I promise she won't be alone, Rach," Shelby said leaning down close to her daughter.
They stopped at the door and Rachel could see Quinn through the window. Shelby gave a sad sigh as she watched Rachel go quietly through the door. Rachel examined all of the machines connected to the sleeping girl. She gave a small stifled sob. She turned to her mother.
"She's going to be alright, bug," Shelby whispered leaning down and wrapping her arms around her tiny daughter.
"Rachel, I'll be with her the whole night, okay?" Valerie said from the doorframe.
She had known the little girl since they had moved to town. She watched as Rachel looked at Valerie and then back at Quinn.
"She can't wake up alone," Rachel whispered. "It's scary."
"She won't, bug," Shelby whispered as she kissed her softly on the temple. "Come on, let's go home. We'll be back before she wakes up."
Rachel looked at her mother and gave a small nod. "Bye, Quinn," she whispered into the older girl's sleeping ear.
Shelby walked over to the bed and gave Quinn a soft kiss on the forehead. "We'll be back in the morning."
As she and Rachel walked away from Quinn, she felt a familiar guilt creep into her chest. She went back to that same day she thought about before.
Shelby rocked Rachel in her arms around the room. Soon after Rachel had allowed her to crawl into the hospital bed next to her, the nurses allowed her to pick up the tiny toddler. With all of the machines she was hooked up to, it was not as easy as Shelby remembered to pick up her baby. She gave a heavy sigh. She used to be able to easily pick her up. She gave a soft smile. She remembered when she was still with Leroy and how every morning she would greet her baby bug. She would always be standing in her crib waiting to begin her day.
Now she couldn't lift her daughter as easily. She wasn't even sure if Rachel could lift herself. To get her from the crib-like bed, nurses had to help Shelby maneuver around the heart monitor cords, the weird oxygen thing on her finger, an IV on her tiny hand which could only pump medicine into her body if her hand was stable beneath a stiff board, and other cords she didn't know. However, when she finally settled her youngest was curled up in her arms looking up at her, Shelby was never more content. She had her Rachel in her arms again.
She was rocking her gently for over an hour when Natalie said that it was time to leave. She wasn't sure at what point Rachel dropped off to sleep. Shelby knew it was exhaustion but she wanted to also give herself credit that she was safe in her arms again. Shelby gripped the little girl a little more tightly in her arms. She couldn't leave her here. She reminded herself that this wouldn't help her get her children back. Arguing with CPS would not help.
"Goodbye for now, my baby girl," Shelby whispered as she moved back to the bed.
Rachel started to stir in her arms. "Mommy?" she asked quietly.
"I'm sorry, bug. I'll see you later, okay?" Shelby whispered as she lay Rachel down in the bed.
At that moment, the toddler woke up and realized the loss of contact immediately.
"No," Rachel wailed as she reached her arms up for Shelby to lift her again. "No, no, no leave."
Shelby scooped Rachel into her arms. This was never how she pictured leaving her and most particularly it was never how she pictured seeing her children again.
"She did this with your son yesterday," Natalie said quietly. "We had to leave her crying with the nurse."
Shelby shot Natalie a glare. "My son is nine. I am her mother. I'm not going to leave her sobbing."
Rachel gripped tightly to her mother. Shelby felt her little chest heaving against her own.
"Breathe, bug. Shhhh, Mommy's here," she said quietly into the small girl's ear. She turned to the intern in the room when the heaving continued. "What's going on? Why is she doing this? She's never done this before."
"She has developed some pretty intense anxiety because of what happened….." the intern trailed off.
"Well of course she would," Shelby whispered kissing the top of her daughter's head. She rocked Rachel and rubbed her back.
"Shelby, your time is up, it's time to leave," Natalie said a little more sternly. "I know that this is hard."
"No, actually you don't!" Shelby said loudly. She squeezed her eyes shut in frustration as Rachel released a screeching sob. "Shhh, bug. Mommy's sorry. I'm right here."
"Shelby, either you lay her down in her crib or the nurse will take her from you, but it's time to leave."
"She can't breathe and she's hurt. She's in pain and she's here all alone." Shelby felt her own chest heave.
"It's time to go," Natalie said again.
"I'll take her," said the nurse as she reached for Rachel.
Rachel only clung tired. "I'll be good. I sorry. I sorry," she sobbed.
Shelby felt her tears wet from her own sorrow. She stroked Rachel's hair and kissed her one last time and handed her to the nurse. "I'm sorry, bug. Mommy's so sorry."
She walked towards the door trying to block out the sorrowful wails. She turned again and watched as the nurse tried to calm Rachel. "I love you, baby bug," she called out.
She watched as a nurse tried to hold her gently and put a mask over her face. "It'll help you breath, love," said the nurse.
"No," Rachel shook her head and tried to sit up. Her tiny hands tried to grip the bars to stand up. "I wanna be good. Mommy, come back."
Shelby stood frozen at the door. Rachel could still see her at the door. She sobbed harder and shook her head trying to push the mask off.
"I'll be good, Mommy," Rachel wailed. Shelby licked her upper lip as tears fell without control. "Don't l-l-leave."
Another nurse brushed past Shelby causing her to step forward into the room. She ignored Natalie's calls and went back to the bed and held Rachel's hand that wasn't stiff around the IV board.
"I'm sorry, bug. It's just for a little while," she whispered.
Rachel gasped and heaved as she struggled to sit up and get back into her mother's arms.
"We're going to sedate her. She needs to calm down," an intern informed as a nurse injected medicine into the IV.
"You can hold her until she falls asleep," Natalie guided from the door.
Shelby immediately lifted her daughter into her arms and rubbed her daughter's back. The mask was pushing into her shoulder but she didn't care.
"Shhhh, sweet girl," she whispered as she pressed her cheek into Rachel's head. "You never did anything wrong. Not ever."
"Close your eyes, and I'll kiss you.
Tomorrow I'll miss you
Remember I'll always be true," Shelby sang quietly into Rachel's ear.
She felt the tiny toddler relaxed in her arms.
"I love you so much, bug," Shelby whispered as she laid her daughter down gently.
The limp sleeping form looked less distressed. Shelby stood and watched the nurse replace the mask over Rachel's face. She had left her. She had left her and this is what happened to her to all of them.
She felt a hand on her arm.
"It's time to leave," Natalie said softly.
Shelby shook her head and followed her toward the door.
"I'll be back, bug," she whispered to her sleeping baby. "I promise."
"Mom?" Rachel asked tugging on her mother's hand and ultimately bringing Shelby back to the present. She spotted tears in her mother's eyes. "Are you okay?"
"I'm fine," she muttered. "Let's get you home, bug."
"And Santana and Noah," Rachel corrected.
Shelby smiled. "Them too."
….
The kids weren't in bed until 11:15pm much to Shelby's own exhaustion. Rachel fought against having to wear the nebulizer mask again. She finally was able to get her bug to comply when she promised her that she could sleep in Shelby's big, comfy king sized bed. Santana burst into tears out of exhaustion about her failure to find her favorite sweatshirt. Noah didn't even bother to change into his sweats. When Shelby went in to ask him if he was ready for bed, he was sound asleep face down on his bed. And when she returned to her own bedroom to make sure that Rachel still had the mask on, Santana was sleeping next to Rachel's sleeping form in Shelby's bed. Thankfully the nebulizer was still going. She waited until it finished and carefully and silently removed it, careful not to wake either of the girls. It amazed her that they could sleep through the loudness of the machine.
Shelby sighed and retired to her bathroom to change quickly. She washed her face trying to relieve the exhaustion from her body. She went downstairs and locked all of the doors and turned off the lights. Quietly, she walked tiredly back upstairs. She went into her bathroom one last time to brush her teeth. She heard the soft creek of her door. She peeked over at her clock over the sink. She sighed. Twelve-thirty. Just enough time to get five and a half hours of sleep, get the kids up, ready and fed and get to the hospital by seven. She gave an exhausted smile and walked back to her room. She remembered the soft creek of the door. On Rachel's other side was Noah, sound asleep. She shook her head with a smile. At least he changed into sweats and a t-shirt she thought as she snuggled in next to Santana. She closed her eyes and let sleep take over.
About two hours later, Shelby's eyes fluttered open to the darkness. Her ears perked when she hear whispers.
"You're okay, Rach," Santana soothed tiredly.
Shelby smiled quietly at her daughter's sincerity and love in her simple words.
"Do you think Quinn's alright?" Rachel whispered into the darkness.
She smiled again at her younger daughter's compassion and grace. "She's fine," she heard Santana reply. "She's safe in the hospital."
"I was safe," Rachel murmured. She gave a little sigh. "But I didn't feel safe. I felt scared and alone." She paused for a moment and Shelby waited allowed the girls to have their moment. "That's what I remember. I remember being alone. I remember people coming to visit and then leaving me….. that's what I dreamt about."
"No one is ever going to leave you, bug," Shelby heard Noah mutter.
"What if something goes wrong?" Rachel trembled slightly. In the darkness, Shelby could simply see that bottom lip shuttering as Rachel attempted to hold it steady.
"Bug, it won't," Noah said. Shelby heard him shift. "I promise you. Nothing will go wrong."
"You can't say that, Noah," Rachel said. Shelby smiled she heard the grin in her voice. "You'll jinx it," she finished.
"I'll jinx you, if you don't be quiet. It's late," Santana said snuggling instinctively back into Shelby, assuming her mom was still sleeping.
"I don't want to sleep," Rachel muttered.
Noah let out a heavy sigh. "Rach, you don't have to sleep."
Shelby smiled as Santana scoffed. "However," Noah continued. "You need to recite your favorite movie Crazy Lady –"
"Funny Girl," Rachel corrected.
"In your head," Noah finished. "Ready go."
Shelby laughed because silence fell over them once again. She closed her eyes. Three more hours.
….
Shelby wasn't surprised that she woke up to both Santana and Noah telling Rachel to be quiet the next morning. When she opened her eyes three hours later, Shelby was greeted with a smile from her youngest.
"Get up please," she whispered loudly. "I made you coffee."
Shelby gave a small smile and Santana gave a groan. Whenever Rachel tried to help and make coffee she always overdid it and made it so strong it was almost sludge-like.
When Shelby was finally able to drag Noah and Santana out to the car, Rachel was rummaging upstairs for something and was the last one to come barreling down the stairs. She shook her head when she realized how anticlimactic it all was when they arrived at the hospital because Quinn was still sleeping.
Shelby watched Rachel watch Quinn carefully. The youngest Corcoran pulled on her backpack straps with thoughtfulness.
"She slept through the night just like Tom said," Valerie said as she nursed a cup of coffee. She lowered her voice and leaned closer to Shelby. "She's been doing great."
"Can I have some time with her?" Rachel suddenly asked breaking her pensive stare from the sleeping blonde.
"Why?" Santana asked rather harshly.
"I just….I want to, okay? She's my other sister. Don't be selfish," Rachel muttered.
Santana gave her signature eye roll. "We can go raid the cafeteria," Noah suggested as he followed Santana out of the room.
Valerie watched the kids wander down the hallway. "I'll follow them," she said quietly to Shelby.
Shelby nodded in appreciation and watched her daughter carefully. "Rach?"
"Mom," Rachel said meeting her eyes. "I said alone please. I'll be quick. I promise."
Shelby shook her head. "Okay." She gave her daughter a confident grin. "I'll wait outside, but this door remains open alright?"
Rachel nodded. She watched as her mother disappeared from sight. Quietly, she shrugged her backpack off of her shoulders.
"I brought you something," she whispered, unaware that her whisper was loud enough for Shelby to hear from the door. "I think you can hear me, wherever you are. I hope you're just sleeping." Rachel carefully pulled out the stuffed lamb that she found in Quinn's duffle. "I …. I thought you might need this. I don't really know her story…. I assume it's a her. She looks like a her, but….. I thought you might need her." Rachel pulled herself onto the end of Quinn's bed. Shelby had to try her best to restrain herself from going in there and telling Rachel to be careful. Rachel set the lamb next to Quinn's sleeping form. "When I was three, I moved back in with my mom and I had a binkie….. Well, a pacifier, but I called it my binkie. And I looked rather silly with it. Three was unusually old for a binkie…. I mean a pacifier. And…." Rachel rung out her hands. "But…. Stuff happened and I needed it…. It made me feel safe. Well, anyway, the binkie fairy came, I mean the pacifier fairy, who I later found out was really my mom, she gave me George. I would have brought him…. But Mom said you needed time before I gave you him, so I thought I would bring your lamb. George keeps me safe when I'm scared and I … I figured your lamb does too. Don't worry, I made sure that Santana didn't see it. I …. I saw the lamb when I gave you my monkey on your first night at my house. I mean our house." Rachel climbed off of the bed. "I hope you feel better, Quinn."
Rachel pulled her backpack back on her shoulders. She started to walk back to the door and paused and ran back to the bed. "I'm glad you're in the family, Quinn. I'll see you after school." She paused. "And even if San finds out, she won't make fun of you she's not that cruel."
Shelby watched from around the hidden corner as Rachel readjusted the lamb and then headed back to the door. Shelby hid from sight and looked at Quinn through the window into the room. She gave a small smirk when she saw the older blonde crack her tired eyes open and watch Rachel leave. Quinn caught one last glance at Rachel and cuddle the lamb closer as she eased back into the sleep.
"Mom, you were supposed to go down the hallway," Rachel said. She lowered her gaze. "You won't tell anyone. Will you?"
"Tell anyone what?" Shelby asked with a grin.
Rachel tilted her head slightly and gave a small smile.
"Let's find your brother and sister."
….
Santana looked over her shoulder and checked to make sure that Rachel was buckled.
"Thank you for giving us a ride, Mrs. Pierce," Santana said politely.
"Any time," Valerie said from the front seat. "I have to pick up Brittany anyway."
"Why did you want to sit in the middle, Santana?" Rachel asked in a not so quiet way. "You always make me sit in the middle."
Puck looked over his shoulder and frowned. "What's going on?"
"Nothing," Santana said with wide eyes.
Valerie pulled into the familiar driveway and Santana couldn't help be smile. Brittany ran out to car.
"Hi," she said as she climbed in to the empty seat in the back.
"Hey," Santana said with a goofy grin.
"Are you alright, San?" Rachel asked pushing her sister.
Santana frowned. "I'm fine." She turned forward and tried not to look at Brittany for the rest of the ride to school.
…..
Quinn woke up to the sun shining in her room. She blinked a few times and allowed her eyes to adjust to the room. She didn't remember it being this bright. She searched her memory. She didn't remember going back to the Corcorans. Her mind stopped when she heard the faint beeping.
Fuck, she thought.
"Good morning," Shelby said quietly.
"Please tell me I didn't stay here," Quinn groaned as she leaned over.
Shelby arched her eyebrow. "You didn't stay here," she gave a grin. "But that would be lying. How do you feel?"
"Tired," Quinn said as she tried to sit up. She tried to tuck her lamb down quietly next to her. She saw Shelby watching her. She bit the side of her lip. "I'll thank her. Later….. " She met Shelby's questioning eyes. She sat the lamb in her lap and adjusted its ears. "There was this really nice woman that gave it to me. She …. " Shelby watched Quinn remember. "She understood me, but never questioned me." Quinn smiled. "Not ever. When I was little, she gave me a lamb. She told me I was like her lost sheep that she finally found." Quinn laughed in a way that Shelby had never seen her laugh. It was genuine. "Her name was Mary. Isn't that funny? Mary's lamb….." She shook her head. "That's the story." Her smile faded. "Kinda stupid….." She exhaled a shaky breath. "I'm glad she never saw me like this….."
"Was this Mary Pierce?" Shelby asked carefully. She watched as Quinn began to cry silently, allowing her tears to fall silently onto the hospital bed. "She was a really great lady. She watched Rachel a lot when Rachel was little. Melanie, always got to watch Brittany, Puck and Santana. But Rachel and Mary spent a lot of time together. Mary watched a great deal of musicals with Rachel when I couldn't." Shelby shook her head. "I'm glad we both knew her, Quinn."
Shelby watched as Quinn wiped her tears with the back of her hand. "Me too," she whispered.
…..
Once they arrived at McKinley after they dropped Rachel off, Noah immediately morphed into Puck and disappeared into the crowd. Santana walked next to Brittany with confidence into the school. She understood that it was her job now that Quinn was out to be ahead of the game and the official queen B. She needed to be on top. She shook her head. On top yes, but … not that …. She shook her head again, Santana snap out of it, stop talking to yourself. She shoved a freshman for good measure to reset her internal imbalance.
"Tweedles! My office," she heard Sue Sylvester summon her.
She felt Brittany hook pinkies with her and together they went into the Coach's office.
"So, Corcoran," she began as the girls settled in their seats. "Fabray is down for the count?"
Santana paused. She frowned. Why was she pausing? Why did she pause? It wasn't as if she cared. She didn't. She didn't care at all.
"Hesitation, eh? Interesting, Corcoran. Freeze up that heart. I wanted you to get along, but I don't want you rolling around in flowers like mindless Teletubbies. Work on that. Rediscover your competitive edge. Let me know on Monday how she is. We have a lot of work to do."
A pause settled over them.
Sue looked up from her desk. "Goodbye," she said more forcibly.
Brittany and Santana stood cautiously and moved down the hallway toward their first class. They stopped silently at Brittany's locker.
"So, speaking of," Brittany said as she opened her locker. "How is Quinn? I know she had minor surgery last night. She's alright though, right?"
Santana frowned and met her friend's eyes. "What?" She shook her head and opened her own locker next to Brittany. "Yeah, she's okay. She's ….." Santana searched for her words. She regained her confidence by glaring at a loser passing by causing them to cower in the other direction. "She's fine…. I think we're taking her home later this afternoon after practice and stuff."
Brittany gave a smile. "Do you think I can come over and see her this weekend?"
"Her?" Santana asked without thinking.
The blonde laughed. "Yeah," she shrugged. "She and I have been friends since we were babies."
Santana couldn't control her fading smile. "I don't know," she muttered. "We're all kinda grounded."
Brittany closed her eyes and turned to look at her. "I wouldn't just be visiting with her." She gave a smile. "You and I can hang out." Brittany rolled her eyes playfully. "But if you're grounded that's cool."
"No, I think Quinn will be the perfect excuse. Leave it to me. I'll let you know…." Santana frowned again. "But I'm not sure how….. I have lost every form of communication born to man….."
Brittany laughed and took her pinky and leaned close to her ear. "Don't frown so much," she said quietly into Santana's. "You'll get wrinkles." She smiled. "But I'm sure I would love them anyway."
Santana watched Brittany carefully and took in her scent in the crowded hallway. They were just friends, right?
"Come on, San" she laughed. "We'll be late."
…
By mid-day, Quinn was three-quarters of the way through her antibiotic. Shelby sat with her the whole day. And when Quinn said the whole day, she meant the whole day. The blond tried to search her memory of when she was sick last. She couldn't remember. She knew for sure that no one ever sat with her.
"Do you need anything?" Shelby asked for the millionth time.
"Dolphins," Quinn answered. "Do you need anything?" She retorted.
"Salmon," Shelby answered. They had been playing back and forth for the last hour or so listing random items to pass the time.
She wasn't going to admit it but she found comfort in Shelby, but as usual she spoke too soon. She always ruined it. She spotted another blonde standing outside of her hospital room.
"Could you go grab me a muffin actually?" Quinn asked quickly.
Shelby looked at her in surprise. "I can eat can't I?" Quinn asked again.
She felt a pang of guilt as her new maternal figure shot up from her seat. She set her files that she had been making notes through and grabbed her wallet. "Muffin? That's it? Are you sure you don't want some juice? Apple juice?"
"Whatever you think is best," Quinn said as she tucked the lamb as subtly as she could underneath her sheets.
"I'll be right back."
Quinn sat up with a wince and lay against her pillows and braced herself for battle. She watched Shelby disappear from sight and as if on queue she entered.
"What the hell are you doing?" she hissed as she door slammed shut so hard that it bounced open a few inches.
"Frannie, nice to see your eye lift and nose job have held up," Quinn said icily.
"What are you doing, Quinn!" Frannie hissed again. "Do you have any idea how much this is ruining our family?"
"What family?" Quinn asked trying her best not to falter.
"Shut your ungrateful mouth, you fucking piece of shit," Frannie hissed as she drew the blinds. "Your accusations are out of line!"
"Look around you selfish pig," Quinn said with her signature frown. "I can't make this shit up!"
"I wouldn't put it past you," Frannie barked. "Mom is a wreck—''
"When hasn't she been?" Quinn retorted. "You can't come back here after four years of doing wherever the fuck you've been during and think you have some say here. Go away!"
"Who do you think you are, Quinn? You are a Fabray." Frannie gave a cackle. "You're going to move in with that single, whore piece of trash and her mixed children. I mean what are they? Kikes or Niggers or Spics? I mean what the hell are they?" She laughed again. "We are Fabrays. Or at least you used to be! You aren't this person you're making our ENTIRE family line out to be. Who the hell would that make me? You are a selfish, lying little bitch. You are doing this singularly for attention because no one loved you. No one will EVER love you, Quinn! EVER! No amount of this stupid and exhausting performance of yours will fool anyone. So drop the charges."
"What the hell do you think you're doing?" her father barked as the front door slammed shut.
Ten year old Quinn bit her lip and looked up toward the stairs. Her mother and sister stood on the landing staring down at her. She felt like the tiniest bug.
"Don't look at them, you piece of shit," Russell bellowed as he grabbed Quinn's arm and led her into her room. "Where in Christ's name did you get the idea that you were good enough for Cheerleading? I mean seriously."
"Daddy, I…"
He grabbed her by one arm the front of his belt by the other and started unthreading it. "You're not good enough, Quinn. You never will be. And I will make sure that you understand that."
Quinn tried to back away. "Daddy, please. I'll be good. I'll prove it to you!"
Russell Fabray paused as he unthreaded his belt. "Prove it how, Quinn?"
"I'll be the best!" she pleaded.
Russell chuckled. "The best, huh, Quinn. We'll see about that. But you'll never be the best. Not ever." He finished unthreading the belt. "Bend over."
Quinn has slightly deflated into herself. She no longer sat up straight. She no longer even held her older sister's fiery gaze. "I didn't…. I'm not the one pressing the charges. The state is," she whispered.
"Drop them!" Frannie screamed in her face. The youngest Fabray continued to look away. Frannie reached out and grabbed Quinn's chin with one hand and her arm with the other. She shook her roughly. "You fucking bastard's whore! Do you hear me, Quinn? You drop these charges now and maybe, just maybe I can convince mother to not kill you. You are completely useless! We will have nothing left if this continues. I will make damn sure of that and I will certainly make sure that—"
"It's time for you to leave, Francis," a chilling tone came from the doorway. Shelby stood at the doorway with Dr. Pierce and a security guard. Quinn didn't even try to meet Shelby's eyes but she continued to look down. She knew her sister was still watching her. She was afraid to look up. Frannie tightened her grip on Quinn's arm as a warning, but then straightened and released her grip. "I said, it's time for you to leave," Shelby said again.
Quinn watched as Frannie turned back into her public self as she straightened her posture and gave a polite smile.
"Think about what you are doing to this family, Quinn," she said calmly as she walked toward the door.
Shelby continued to watch Quinn despite Frannie's exit. However, Quinn still refused to meet Shelby's eyes. She couldn't do it. She just couldn't do it. She tensed her shoulders as she felt the familiar ache of her sister's grip on her arm. She let her tears fall quietly, hoping to disappear. No, one will ever love you, Quinn Fabray, she heard echo in her memory. She was told that her whole life. However, the most recent time her father told her was what pushed her out. It was two weeks ago. Almost three.
It was a night like most nights. Her father and mother were drunk and she was hiding desperately in her room hoping to silence their laughter. It had been the worst year of her life and she still had over two more years of high school before she could get out of this hell hole.
"Quinnie," her father slurred as he sauntered into her bedroom. "Why are your clothes on? I'm ready for you."
She shuttered as he closed her bedroom door offering her no escape. She slowly removed her clothing with her trembling hands.
"Quinnie, you know we only do this because I love you. I'm the only one in this world who will ever love you. No one will ever love you," he hissed as he climbed on top of her.
"Please I—"
A sound of a slap echoed around the room. "You'll be paying for that later." He shoved into her at that moment. "Remember, Quinn, this is the closest you'll ever get to love."
"Quinn?" Shelby said lightly touching her hand.
Quinn flinched away. "I'm fine. I just…. I …. I need a second."
Shelby gave a nod and kissed Quinn softly on her forehead.
"I want to tell you something," Shelby said gently. "I don't know that much about you. But from what I know, Quinn Fabray, you are a kind and tough young woman. You are tenacious with fire and a will that would challenge any army. You're loving, but you rarely show it because you question its value. I care about you, Quinn and I will fight for you and with you. I am proud to have you as a daughter whether for a long time or a short time. But I will always care about you and I will always love you no matter what you do. Do you hear me? No matter what you do."
Quinn looked at her with a shaky breath. "Please don't. Please don't even try. I'm too damaged. I'll screw everyone one up. I'll screw Rachel up, and Santana and Puck."
"Sweetheart, you're not screwed up. You're not contagious. You simply need to be reminded of how incredible you are. And that's my job. Do not listen to that girl who was just in here. She is sad and hateful and lonely. She is scared because you had the courage to stick up for yourself. Something she never did or will ever be able to do."
Shelby cupped Quinn's face gently in her hands. "I know I'm not your mother, but I will love you like my daughter, whether you think you deserve it or not. It doesn't matter. Alright?"
Quinn sobbed quietly and nodded. She didn't believe her, but it felt good to the tiny girl inside her that told her that she might. Shelby kissed her again and stood up.
"And you know what?" Shelby asked from the door. "I'll remind you every day. Now take that second. I'll be right back."
…..
Frannie looked at the elevator in frustration. What was it about elevators?
"So damn slow," she hissed.
"We need to talk," Shelby said suddenly in her face.
"I have nothing to say to you," Frannie said with a heavy sigh. "Leave me alone."
"Actually, I have something quick to say to you," Shelby said with an even tone. "You will be receiving a restraining order tomorrow afternoon. I'm filing the papers now. You will never talk to her again. If I see you looking at her from a distance less than one hundred feet of Quinn or my children, I will make sure you're arrested."
"You have no right—''
"Actually, I have plenty of credentials. Would you like to see, little girl?" Shelby asked with a grin. The elevator dinged. "Your elevator is here. Watch out for those papers."
….
Kurt and Rachel walked up to the high school later that afternoon. Rachel's head was down. She was normally a chatter box and she was silent. Rachel Corcoran was rarely silent.
"Are you alright?" Kurt asked as they headed toward the school. "You're walking uncharacteristically slow. Usually you're a strange speed walker, did you pull a muscle?"
Rachel gave a small smile. "No, Kurt, I didn't do anything. I'm just tired," she said with a sigh. "Quinn had a hard night and so did we. I'm just tired."
"We're also kinda late," Kurt said as they continued to dawdle down the hallway. He shrugged. "Not that I'm complaining. We all know that Mr. Doodlehead likes you more than me, but….just saying we're fifteen minutes late because you're dawdling. So why exactly are we dawdling?"
"Fifteen minutes!" Rachel asked with exhaustion. "Are you kidding?"
She grabbed Kurt's arms and yanked him down the hallway toward the choir room.
"I'm sorry we're late," Rachel said breathlessly.
Will was leaning against his desk with his arms folded. He stood up straighter as the young eleven year olds sprinted into the room.
Kurt watched as the young teacher stood straighter and smile. He frowned.
"You kids are really late," Will said with a shake of his head.
"She's having a bad day," Kurt said.
"We'll in the business they don't care about bad days," Will reminded as he handed the kids music.
Kurt watched Rachel's face fall.
Will smiled. "Despite your disappointment, I'm sure we can still have a good rehearsal." He knelt down in front of Rachel so that he was eye to eye with her. "Do I have your undivided attention."
She nodded vigorously. "Absolutely, sir," she said with a smile.
Kurt frowned as he watched Will's hand stroke Rachel's arm reassuringly. It was as if the room moved in slow motion for the rest of rehearsal. It was as if Kurt was seeing something for the first time. Something that wasn't good.
…
Puck was annoyed. He was more than annoyed. After a long night with barely any sleep and his eleven-year-old sister kicking him in the knee caps, he didn't need his giant teammate annoying him.
"I don't like her, man," Puck said as he took off his helmet.
"What do you mean?" Finn asked taking another drink of water. "I saw you with her. I see you with her".
"I'm seeing someone, remember?" Puck said annoyed. He nodded in the direction of the Cheerios.
"Senior Whitney Richards, I know," Finn shrugged. "But aren't you just hooking up?"
Puck shot him a threatening glare. Finn put his hands up in a defensive stance. "No offense intended, man, but I mean you and Whitney have never even really done couple status. You know. When I was with Quinn—''
"Tell me about that," Puck said turning to him. "Listen for the millionth time I'm not into her nor will I ever be. She's basically my sister now. And I have two of them. I know what that it feels like. I don't know if you know what it feels like to have a sister, but my dick sure as hell knows the difference and I'm NOT interested in Quinn Fabray in that way. However, I heard rumors that you guys went through a lot of shit while you were together. I want to know about it."
Finn looked at him with a frown.
"Dude, I forgave you for the punch, but that's kinda private," Finn said backing away slowly.
"You kinda deserved the punch. And no, it's not private. Not when you're still calling her names in the hallway." He paused. "I'm waiting."
"Waiting for what?" Santana asked walking over. She put her hands on her hips and glared at Finn. "Hey douche-wad."
"Hey San—'' Finn was about to add something else to the end of his statement but caught Puck's glare.
"I'm delivering your brother to you since you tend to misplace him," Santana said with a frown pushing Kurt in Finn's direction.
"Santana, he's not a marble," Rachel said shaking her head and looking apologetically at Kurt, who had been acting oddly during all of rehearsal. "I'm sorry, Kurt."
"It's fine," he said with a sigh. "Come on, Finn. What are you talking about?"
"Quinn Fabray," Finn said casually.
Rachel's eyes widened. "What? Noah, why?"
Santana looked at her brother and put her hand on Rachel's back. "Let's talk about this in the car please." She caught Puck's eyes and glanced down at Rachel.
"We have to go. See you on Monday, Finn."
"Whatever," he grumbled. "Come on, Kurt."
Kurt started to walk away with his brother but stopped. Puck grabbed his duffle and walked quietly to the parking lot.
"Hey, Rach," he called out. She turned. Santana still had her arm wrapped around her shoulders. "Can I call you this weekend? I want to talk to you about something."
"I'm grounded," Rachel said walking back over to him. "Can we talk now?"
Kurt looked at Rachel for a moment. His brows were knitted in confusion and turmoil.
"I …. I … I don't think I can come to rehearsal anymore. I don't like Mr. Schuester. And I don't think you should go either."
Rachel frowned. "What are you talking about?"
He shook his head. "Never mind. I'll …. I'll talk to you more about it on Monday…. It's no big deal." He shrugged and swallowed the lump in his throat. "Forget it."
Rachel gave a nod and walked away from her friend. "Alright. I'll see you."
She paused and looked over her shoulder one last time as Kurt and Finn walked away before turning to join her brother and sister.
…
"You look terrible," Santana said from the doorway.
Quinn gave a weak smile. "I'm sick. What's your excuse?" she shook her head.
Santana smiled and pulled up a chair. "Rachel's down the hallway. She's eager to see you."
"Why?" Quinn asked.
"I don't know," Santana shrugged. "She's a weirdo."
"She certainly isn't like the rest of you," the blonde said rolling her eyes. The blonde paused before she formed her words. "She was little when all the stuff happened to your family, right?"
Santana narrowed her eyes slightly and leaned back in the chair with a sigh. "You don't even know the half of it."
"Well you don't know anything about me," Quinn said back and turning away slightly.
The tough brunette took a breath. "Yeah, she was little. But like I said, she's a weirdo. She has a memory like some super fast computer. Even though, I wish she didn't." Santana looked down at her hands. "She remembers a lot of it, and what she doesn't remember she gets in flashes thanks to the wonders of therapy." She rolled her eyes.
"Well I wish I didn't remember," Quinn whispered.
To her surprise, she felt a hand on hers. "No, you don't." Their eyes locked. Santana went on. "If you didn't remember, you would only be left with confusion and anger and no memory of why. And that's harder. Being all dressed up and having no place to go."
"This doesn't mean we're friends," Quinn said.
"Hells no," Santana said shaking her head. "We're most definitely not friends."
A nurse entered. "Are you ready to go home?"
Quinn gave a small nod. She wasn't going home and she was grateful.
"I'm ready to go to her home," Quinn said sitting up.
Please Please Please review