Data Log Entry: 21831111

My evening discussions with Liara have resumed. I can't believe how much more focused I am on everything else. I really look forward to our nightly talks, which seem to be habit forming, as we wander about the ship aimlessly. I find myself counting the hours as soon as I wake up.

Katherine

Data Log Entry: 21831115

0330 hours

I can't sleep. The Normandy is on its way to Noveria. The Council believes Saren is involved with some activities on Peak 15 and they also have reports indicating Matriarch Benezia is planet side. This has kept me up all night. My body can only take so much physical exercise and poor Ash has been my sparring partner for the last two days; so I'm giving her the day off when we reach the planet. She deserves it.

I've been pacing in my cabin for the last half hour. I'm worried about how things will play out because I know the job I have to do and I wonder about how Liara will react if we have to do the inevitable. I couldn't imagine putting my own mother down. God that would be awful: Captain Hannah Shepard, killed by her own daughter. It hasn't even happened yet and I am already getting that gut wrenching feeling in my stomach. I hope Joker isn't in his normal feisty mood. I don't want to project on him something that doesn't belong to him.

I can't help but think how Liara will feel. Shit, maybe I should take Ash with me. I know she'll keep me strong when push comes to shove. Perhaps this is why Alliance personnel shouldn't fraternize. Good thing she's not Alliance; heck, she's not even officially part of the crew. She's more of an authorized observer and I would love to leave her behind but after reading Matriarch Benezia's file for the umpteenth time; I am going to need every advantage I can get. In the back of my head I keep hoping that we'll walk in there, the Matriarch will see Liara and just surrender; not wanting to hurt her own daughter. It could happen! Yeah Shep, in an alternate universe maybe.

0417 hours

I just finished reading the Matriarch's profile again; and I can't find any weaknesses. I didn't even know she had the ability to retrieve information from an unwilling participant. It's called Mind Rape. I can't even imagine what that must feel like and here I was a little weirded out when Liara and I exchanged a knowledge meld; but someone taking it by force? Liara said that I had instinctively put up barriers in my mind when she entered, causing it to drain her more quickly than a normal meld. I'll have to ask her if that might help me should the Matriarch try to meld with me.

Part of me really wishes the Matriarch and I could have met under much better circumstances; however I have a feeling, she might not be too pleased with Liara palling around with a human. I guess it's more than just palling around though, huh? Talk about a very unhappy mother; perhaps it's better this way. I'm hunting her rather than her hunting me.

0445 hours

The mess sergeant was making chow so I went out and grabbed an early bite to eat. I tried forcing some of it down but as I peer over at the half eaten bowl next to my terminal, I obviously didn't do that good of a job. The way my insides are churning, I feel like I have a couple of ulcers in my stomach right about now.

I have been trying to decide who to take with me down to Noveria. It's a research facility with incredibly tight security. I want to go in with the lowest profile possible; so sorry Wrex and Garrus, you are staying onboard. Not that I don't trust your expertise, but I need to keep a low profile and walking in with a Krogan Battlemaster and a former C-Sec officer, on a research facility that prides itself on barely recognizing council authority, is sure to raise an eyebrow or two.

I even thought of bringing LT. Alenko but I need someone who is going to react to my orders not dissect them. I am very confident on this mission it will be the difference between life and death. Which reminds me, I need to have Dr. Chakwas prepare for the worst in case I come back riddled with bullet holes or worse, suffering from a hemorrhage caused by a very powerful warp.

So far, I have decided to take Liara with me. I am going to need her biotics against the Matriarch and whatever else might pop up. I'm still trying to decide between Ash or Tali. It is a research facility so I doubt they will have the manpower for a straight up firefight. However, I can see a lot of security barriers and locked doors in store for me, so it would probably be better for the young quarian to be a part of my ground team. She can handle all the security devices and any hacking; plus, she's also pretty good with a gun if they don't throw anything super heavy at us. I really wish that damn Mako could hold more than three personnel.

I wish I could get a jump start on the mission and go talk it over with Liara but I think it's still a little too early for her, but then again, she could be awake and already thinking about the mission. She's probably wondering if I will even take her with me. If she only knew how much I really trusted her; heck, it's not like I let just anyone tinker around inside my head.

0615 hours

I received word from Joker. We are due planet side at 0830 hours. He told me it was a restricted landing station and I told him to land this bird wherever he could find space and shoot anyone who got in our way. He seemed rather excited about the idea, but I know my pilot rather well and although he would never intentionally shoot someone out of the sky without probable cause; we share the same warm fuzzy feeling one gets when you fire up those GARDIAN laser systems. It is a very intimidating sight if I do say so myself; besides, someone should at least enjoy the day a little.

~ Spectre Shepard – Systems Alliance Commander

1900 hours

Squad has returned to the ship. Mission a success.

2230 hours

I have never hated this job until now. I just spent the last four hours holding a young woman while she cried over the death of her mother and to make matters worse; she died by my hand, for God's sake. I have never felt so powerless before, so ashamed of my actions; though it was required of me. What can I say? What could I say? I had to kill your mother to protect the Universe? Even the words betray the feelings in my chest. If it kills me or even gets me fired; I will see to it that the Matriarch gets a proper burial on Thessia and is excused for her actions, as she was under the influence of Sovereign's Indoctrination. It is but a small comfort I can offer to Liara for the heinous act I preformed today.

2257 hours

The Matriarch provided us the coordinates for the Mu Relay before she fell. I will send word to the Council requesting permission to continue my pursuit of Saren into the Terminus Systems. I will bring that damn rogue Spectre to justice for what he did to the Matriarch and to Liara. For the T'Soni family; I seek justice.

~ Katherine Shepard Out!