Chapter 13
Val-cb – Thank you so much for your review – I hope you like this chapter just as much
Sparkleinthe sun – I am very happy you found this fic as well – thank you for reading! Stay focused
AcexofxSpades - Shelby does make a great mom – but it hasn't always been easy – you'll find out more about dad real soon – never "shut up" - I love reviews
NinjaGleek21 – what would be the fun in leaving it – Santana and Quinn are keeping their hands to themselves right at the moment though – Shelby would never condone that type of behavior – although the two have been close to it – Finn will get what is coming to him – don't worry
broadwaybound2016 – All will be answered in due time my friend ! Rachel is helping Quinn so much – and Santana and Quinn will challenge each other because neither likes to let down their guard – thanks for the review
Hail the Wolves – Thanks – I hope this was soon enough for you
OTHangels – Thanks for the review !
Chickabilly – Your reviews ALWAYS make me laugh – I hope you have no weapons near – but Rachel has plenty of people in her corner to keep her safe – I hope –
bueller – Lima Heights ADJACENT is more like it – Santana and Quinn will find common ground soon but it can't come too fast for these two – they are too alike – More Puck and Rachel coming up so hold on – thanks for reviewing
anon - Thanks for the review – Shelby is a strong woman so keep the faith and you shall see how Mama Bear responds
twilight2892 - sorry twilight- didn't mean to be evil – I'm glad you like it and thanks for hanging with me
Gleek1990 – Did you guess right? Thank you so much for your kind words – I aim to please - - We don't know how Leroy died yet – but we will
Mia – thanks for reviewing – sorry for the suspense
JackyKay – Don't worry Rachel is not in too much danger – Thanks for reading
amandaes417 – Sorry to freak you out – Thanks for reviewing
HIsland429 – It's a long process for the girls but I think they are strong enough – and with Rachel and Shelby helping them I believe they can work through anything - thanks for the review
I-taylorlautner – sorry wrong guesses but thanks for the review – Quinn's dad is locked up tight right now!
RainbowGleek – oh no – but I am afraid you maybe shedding some more tears real soon. Thanks for coming for the ride with me
marinka4 – I don't know who you think it may be but ….. thanks for reviewing and I hope I surprised you – thanks
NayaFan – your reviews mean so much to me! Thank you for your nice words. I hope I can continue to feel the emotions of the characters so deeply.
FacingFuture – thank you so much for your review – I am glad I touched you so emotionally
w1cked – I am sorry for putting your heart in your throat – I hope this chapter came out quick enough for you and thanks for the review
TheTBone – Thank you. I always look forward to your review. I'm not that amazing. I'm just emotional. This chapter though was draining. I wrote the first sequence of scenes that amounted to about 3000 words and I had to take a break because it was too much. I'm so happy you commented on Quinn being begged to be hit. It's heartbreaking and her turmoil will only continue. You'll like Sue more and more I guarantee. She'll save the day more than once, but it will be awhile. Shelby is an incredible woman. She is a pleasure to write. Santana's jealousy will continue but in different forms. Thank you. I hope you like the flashbacks in this chap. Thank you again for the review.
Warning a/n: This is an emotionally exhausting chapter. Please be aware that it contains discussions about child sexual abuse, neglect, and incest.
When Shelby neared the top of the stairs she heard shouting. Quickly she made her way down the stairs and the sight before her made her freeze. She felt her anxiety, fear, and rage explode within her. She was ready to lash out. She was ready to scream, but she saw the panicked look of her youngest daughter and the body language of her eldest daughter. All of this told her that she couldn't scream. She could hear her son's frantic footsteps approaching. She needed to pull it together. She had to.
…
Rachel opened the door and stared at the woman.
"Can I help you?" she asked with narrowed eyes.
The woman frowned at her. "I'm here to pick up my daughter." Her tone was so matter-of-fact and almost belittling that it made the tiny girl pause.
Rachel frowned and looked at the woman. Those eyes and that blonde hair. From far away, she would have looked put together. At one point she may have been considered beautiful. However, in that moment on the Corcoran's front step, she looked like an angry, sad woman playing dress up. Rachel knew exactly who this was.
"Quinn's not going anywhere with you," Rachel said trying her best to muster up all of her bravery from the very tips of her toes.
"What?" Judy Fabray hissed.
"Please leave," Rachel said as she started to close the door.
A white-gloved hand stopped the door from shutting. "Excuse me, little girl, but do you have any idea who I am?" Judy Fabray staggered slightly as she spoke.
"Yes, I do," Rachel said still attempting to maintain her composure. "You don't deserve her. You're a terrible person!"
"Listen to me!" Judy hissed. She bent over and looked into Rachel's eyes. "We do not need your help. My daughter is full of lies. Get her for me now!"
Rachel frowned and clenched her fists. "No!"
Judy stood up and looked at the girl with a scowl. She removed her glove carefully and put her into her fancy coat's pockets.
"I'm not taking no for an answer," she said quietly. And leaned over and looked Rachel in the eyes once again. Rachel let out a small gasp when she felt Judy grab her arms from either side. "And I think that you need to be taught a little lesson."
Rachel let a slightly trembling breath release as she was pushed back into the foyer.
…..
Santana spotted her sister breathing erratically against the wall. This figure had her pinned up in a position that didn't allot the girl the room to move or struggle. Not that she would, a small voice said in the back of Santana's mind. She never struggled. The rage exploded within her heart.
"You crazy bitch!" Santana screamed as she pushed the figure away and caught Rachel in mid air from falling. She immediately pulled her behind her. "Don't you dare fucking touch her. Get out of my house!"
"What the fuck is going on?" Noah asked stepping in front of his sisters. "Get out!"
"Where is she?" Judy screamed from the doorway.
Santana felt Rachel wrap her arm more tightly around her waist and Santana saw the other tiny arm grip to the back of Noah's shirt.
"You and your family are disgusting! Quinn needs to get away from your nonsense before she's infected. She's already corrupted as it is. She needs to be sent away and straightened out. Something Russell and I should have done years ago." She straightened against and looked down at the three Corcorans as if they were beneath her. "I said where is she!"
"You're not going to see her!" Rachel suddenly yelled surprising everyone and stepping up next to Noah.
Santana and Noah weren't fast enough as the woman reached out and grabbed Rachel again. Her fist clenched the front of Rachel's shirt. A feeling that was all too familiar for the littlest Corcoran.
"Listen to me, you little shit!" she screamed into the trembling eleven year old's face.
Santana and Noah were trying to push her off her Rachel without pushing Rachel with her. They were screaming at the woman and trying to pry her hands off of Rachel's thin arms.
"Let go of my kid," an icy tone said from the top of the stairs. The screaming stopped and the four of them looked up at the stairs. "I said, let go of her. Now!"
The woman let Rachel go as if she was molded bread. She scowled at the three kids.
"If you ask me, Mrs. Corcoran, you're children need to be taught some lessons. I can show you that the belt works best."
Santana felt Rachel's head whip around to look at her mother in panic.
"Shhh," Santana hushed as she pulled Rachel closer to her. "Mom would never let her do that."
"Thank you, but you will never touch my children or Quinn again," Shelby said as she came to the bottom of the stairs. She met Judy's gaze and held it. In a calm voice she continued. "Noah, go stand at the door upstairs and make sure no one comes in or out. Santana, take your sister to my room and stay with her please."
"Mom," Santana started.
"Now, San," Shelby said not breaking her gaze from Judy.
…
Shelby watched her children disappear around the landing. She turned to Judy.
"Get the hell out my house," Shelby said again. Her voice was calm and even but not even close to a shout.
"No," Judy pushed as she folded her arms tightly across her chest.
Shelby tilted her head and looked at her. "Are you drunk?" She shook her head. "Look at you. Are you serious?" She shook her head again and reached for her phone in her back pocket. "I will call the police if you do not leave my house now."
"Where is my daughter?" Judy staggered toward the stairs.
"Keep your voice down!" Shelby hissed in a low voice in a way that only a good mother could. "Listen to me, Judy, this will not help you get her back," Shelby said stepping between the belligerent woman and the stairs.
"Bull shit. I did nothing wrong. It's called tough love," she hissed.
"Tough love?" Shelby said in disgust.
"Quinn is a liar," she looked toward the stairs. "Aren't you, Quinnie!" she screamed. "You're the biggest liar! You just tell lies because you want attention." She looked at Shelby. "She's a whore that is trying to blame her destruction on us. We did nothing but love you, Quinn!" She yelled at the stairs. "Nothing but love you!"
…..
Noah followed his sisters up the stairs. He felt his heart beating against his chest. He needed to keep his cool. His mother expected him and needed him to keep his cool. He watched as Santana walked past him with her hands on Rachel's shoulders. He watched Santana's back as she stilled mid-step in the hallway. He allowed his hurried and full mind to listen to the yelling downstairs. He watched as Rachel looked up at Santana and then over at him.
He could see that Santana was tense just by staring art her back. He was mad too. He was furious. He wanted to give that woman a piece of his mind. However, Santana had been right before. He couldn't put Mrs. Fabray in her place the way he had done with Karofsky. It just wasn't the same. He couldn't do that.
"Santana," he called to her. His sister didn't turn around. "Take Rachel to Mom's room."
He shook his head. Santana never listened! He knew his sister. He had known her his whole life and when she set her jaw, her mind was made up. Her eyes darkened and they let the anger take over. She was standing with her back facing him but he knew that if he looked in her eyes that he would see that she was debating. He knew that eight years ago changed them. He was given greater reason to hope and to fight and she was given reason after reason to distrust people around her. That pivotal difference frequently had them at odds. He wished it didn't, but he couldn't change that. He couldn't change what had happened. The primary difference was that he accepted that. Santana still struggled.
And for all of those reasons, he was the one that didn't question standing at Quinn's door and Santana was the one who ached to be downstairs.
"Santana!" Puck yelled out to her. "Get Rachel out of the hallway!"
He watched as Santana looked over her shoulder at him. Her mouth was open as she tried to process his words. He could tell that her own internal battle and the words from downstairs were forcing her feet to stand still. He looked over his shoulder at Quinn's door and the stairs. He took too long strides and put his hand on Santana's back.
"She doesn't need to hear this," his whispered harshly in Santana's ear. "Focus on her."
He met Santana's dark eyes. She gave a slight nod and he watched as they disappeared into his mother's room. He gave a deep sigh as the crazy blond lady's yells increased in volume.
…
Shelby toyed with her cell phone in her back pocket. She kept resisting her urge to look at the stairs. She was hoping beyond hope that her children would stay upstairs. However, she knew her children. She knew that Judy needed to shut up and leave before things got worse and one of them came running down the stairs behind her.
"Get out of my house," Shelby said again. She was sure that Judy had been saying something insulting but her brain was too full.
"You think that you're such a good person for taking my daughter in, don't you? My child is nothing but a piece of shit not good enough to step in. And here you are trying to tell her that she's good enough. You are only encouraging her to become a weaker person. However, look at your miraculous parenting skills. Your children are fucked up."
"Don't you dare, fucking talk about my kids," Shelby hissed in a low voice.
"I will do whatever the fuck I want to," Judy shouted. "Look at you, Shelby Berry. Back to Lima because New York kicked you out?"
"We're not in high school anymore, Judy." Shelby laughed. "Or at least I'm not."
"Oh how coy," Judy hissed. "We're always in high school. Always. You ran away because you couldn't handle it."
"You speak of this town as if it's the gold city," Shelby laughed. She leaned close to Judy and whispered. "At the end of the day, you're still a nothing, Judy. A sad, lonely, weak little girl just like you were before. Except now you're apparently a drunk too." Shelby straightened. "Get out of my house!"
"Sad and lonely? Shelby, you are worthless trash! You're the one that failed. Not me!"
"That's debatable," Shelby shot back. "I have a family that loves me. What do you have, Judy? A drunk husband who's in jail and daughters who don't even know what it means to be happy? What it means to be loved? You don't deserve to call Quinn, your daughter. You lost that right long ago. You failed, Judy. If I remember correctly that's what sixteen year old Judy wanted. She wanted someone to love her, but you became a pathetic whore to achieve that." Shelby made sure to keep her voice low.
"Don't lecture me on parenting! Look at your children. You'll be lucky if your son won't land his ass in prison. And Santana, she lacks any poise. All she has to offer are her exotic looks, if she hasn't started whoring herself out.-"
"Shut up!" Shelby barked. She tried to decrease her raging heart.
"Don't even get me started on Rachel. That ugly little girl will surely get what's coming her. If someone hasn't I bet they are-''
"Shut up!" Shelby screamed. "You do not talk about my children! Ever!"
She kicked herself internally. She had lost her cool. Judy laughed at her. Shelby knew that she had seen that she got to her. The woman staggered into Shelby's personal space. Shelby saw the finger point in her face.
"Listen to me," Judy hissed even more loudly. "I know all about you. I know what brought you back here from New York."
Shelby looked at the woman more intensely than she did before.
Judy cackled triumphantly. "Oh, that got your attention, didn't it?"
"Step outside," Shelby said clenching her jaw.
"No," Judy replied. "I would rather not."
Shelby clenched her jaw and gave the woman a cold stare, one that push Santana's to shame. "It wasn't a request."
Shelby watched triumphantly as Judy took a slight step back.
The blond country-club wanna-be queen took another step forward. "I am not leaving without my child!" She gave a sly smirk. "You think that you're so tough with your New York background. Well, let me tell you how we do it in Lima!"
"I said," Shelby said quietly. "Keep your voice down!"
"Absolutely not! You're children need to hear this!" Judy spat. "Don't pretend that you've protected them from anything! You're children are bastards! You were out violating the ancient laws of motherhood. Working? And clearly," Judy's arm flew out. "You couldn't deliver in the bedroom. You're husband turned fag because you weren't enough of a woman!" Judy's laugh echoed in the foyer. "I'm sure he's burning in hell for his sins. Your faggot children will burn too."
….
Shelby's bedroom was the furthest away from the foyer. Santana groaned internally. Their house was large but they could still hear every word. Rachel squeezed her hand tighter. Santana pulled her close and cupped her hands over Rachel's ears. "Shhh," she whispered. "I got you."
"San?" Rachel asked looking up her.
"You're alright, Rach," she whispered.
"How did she know where we were?" Rachel asked.
Santana's ears perked up. She heard Judy snarl the following words. "You think that you're such a good person for taking my daughter in, don't you? Quinn is nothing but a piece of shit not good enough for a dog to step in and you are only encouraging her. However, look at your miraculous parenting skills. Your children are fucked up."
Santana felt Rachel tense in her arms. She could care less what Judy thought, but she was reinforcing their insecurities. Santana bit her lip. She heard Hiram's voice echo in her memory. "You're a worthless piece of shit, Santana. You hear me. You're only good for one thing. And that's all you'll ever be good for."
"Sanny?" Rachel whispered bringing Santana out of her memory.
"Shhh," Santana hushed. "I won't let anything happen to you."
Santana was rocking Rachel in her mother's bedroom, but she wasn't there. She was downstairs listening to the screaming. She was back in that darkened room.
She heard Judy's voice echo from downstairs. "Look at your children. You'll be lucky if your son won't land his ass in prison. And Santana, she lacks any poise. All she has to offer are her exotic looks, if she hasn't started whoring herself out.-"
Santana felt a tremble in her icy heart. Hiram hissed in her ear. "You're good for nothing! Nothing!"
"San," Rachel whispered.
Santana couldn't see that her little sister was watching her retreat into herself. All the older brunette could hear were the screams. "For the rest of your life, Santana, no one will love you. Ever." Suddenly, she was brought back to the present when Judy shouted and Rachel jumped in her arms. "Don't even get me started on Rachel. That ugly little girl will surely get what's coming her. If someone hasn't I bet they are-''
That was it. "Stay here," Santana whispered unconsciously prying Rachel's arms from her body.
"San, no," Rachel yelled after her. "Please stay."
Santana didn't see Rachel grab the cordless phone. She turned to her and knelt to her level. She cupped the tear stained face. She kissed her forehead. "Stay here."
"No, no," Rachel sobbed. "San." She dropped to her knees in the hallway as Santana walked away from her.
…
Shelby heard the familiar creak of her bedroom. Judy's words still echoed loudly in her ears. Her initial instinct to reach out and slap this woman was gone when she heard Rachel sobbing. Fuck, she cursed herself. She knew that Santana was going to come down the stairs any minute.
She heard her son call out to her. She heard Santana say something and then she heard her daughter freeze. Judy's words about Leroy must have been heard because she heard her daughter's steps turn into a sprint.
"Get out of my house," Shelby said again.
"Where is my daughter? Quinn, get your ass down here!"
…..
Noah looked up when his mother's door swung open. He watched his sister storm out of the room. He saw Rachel crumble onto the hallway floor.
"Santana!" he shouted. "Don't!"
He knew that simply by the look in her eyes that she didn't hear him. And in that moment as he knelt down to Rachel he was angry at her again. He tried to get Rachel's attention but she was talking into the phone.
…
Santana heard Judy's words and ran down the stairs. No, no. She couldn't deal with this. She wasn't eight years old anymore. She wasn't going to handle having this bitch in her house. She couldn't talk to her mother that way. She would not talk about her brother and she certainly would not insult her sister like that. It wasn't going to happen. Her heart was pounding so hard that she couldn't hear anything else. All she saw was the blonde at the bottom of the stairs and all Santana wanted to do was to push her to the curb and that was what she was going to do.
Shelby saw her daughter push past her and toward Judy. Thankfully, Shelby caught her around the middle. Santana waved her arms and began to reach toward Judy. She knew to expect this from Santana, but she didn't need it. She could only imagine what Judy was triggering in Santana's mind. However, as she had to plant and replant her feet to keep Santana from lashing out, she wished so desperately that her head strong daughter had listened to her and stayed upstairs.
"Santana," she hissed.
"Get the fuck out of our house, you crazy bitch! Don't you dare talk about my family like that! Fuck you! Don't you fucking talk about my father! Don't you fucking dare!" Shelby felt Santana fight in her arms. " You and your fucking husband are going to hell for the shit you did to your daughter - my father was all about love, you fucking idiot."
"Santana! Santana!" Shelby attempted as she tried to hold Santana back.
"Oh what are you going to do, little girl? Go on, Shelby let her go."
Shelby shot Judy a look. "You just shut up!" She pulled Santana closed to her with all of her strength and put her hand on her angry face and brought Santana's far off eyes back to her.
"Go upstairs, now!" Shelby scolded. "I mean it."
Shelby watched her daughter deflate. She watched her become the scared and tough little girl that she met eight years ago. She kicked herself and mainly wanted to kill Judy for doing this.
"Go," Shelby said again.
Santana shot Judy a look as she settled in her mother's arms. "Get the fuck out of our house."
"Santana," Shelby hissed. "Go!"
Santana shot one more look at Judy and walked up the stairs.
When she arrived at the top she was breathing heavily. She just needed to hold Rachel. She just needed to escape from this. She needed not to hear the voices in her head. Her brother was holding a crying Rachel on the floor at Quinn's door.
"Rach?"
"No," Noah said with a glare. "You left. I got her."
Santana looked at Rachel. Rachel was holding tightly to Noah's forearm that was wrapped tightly around her chest. Santana hated herself more. Rachel wouldn't even look back at her.
…
"I said get out," Shelby said as soon as Santana was out of sight.
"Not until I have my daughter," Judy hissed. "Quinn! Quinn! Get your ass down here!"
Shelby pulled out her phone as Judy yelled and dialed 911.
"I want to report a public disturbance and assault," Shelby began. Judy was so oblivious as she continued to scream at the stairs that Shelby was blocking. Quickly, Shelby explained the situation.
"Ma'am, someone is already on their way. A little girl called just minutes ago." Shelby barely had time to process the situation when the police cars pulled up to her house. Shelby bit her lip. Damn it. Rachel already called. Fuck, Judy for doing this to them.
Shelby felt so far away as she watched in awe as Judy was forced into the police car. She only faintly heard Judy screaming about how she wanted to press kidnapping charges against Shelby. "She kidnapped my kid!" she faintly heard Judy scream. She talked idly to the police officers about the circumstances.
"I would call your case manager. We'll need you all to come down to the station to submit a statement," the officer said to Shelby through her fog.
Shelby gave a nod. "We'll be down as soon as we can," she replied weakly. The adrenalin that pumped through her veins moments ago was settling into her exhaustion from all of this as she soaked in the damaged she would have to repair.
"We'll see you at the station, Miss. Corcoran."
She looked at him with a hard look. Yes, her husband was dead. Yes, they had been divorced, but he had been her best friend.
"Mrs. Corcoran," she corrected. "I never changed my name. We'll see you at the station."
She didn't wait to watch the police car drive away. She turned toward the house with deep breath. She needed to pick up the pieces that Judy shattered.
…
Santana leaned against the wall feet from where Noah and Rachel were huddled. Noah could feel Rachel against his chest. He was mulling over what he was going to say to Santana. All of this was out of control. Santana shouldn't have added her anger to the mix.
"Rach?" he heard his mother's voice. He looked up and saw her kneeling in front of him.
"Is she gone?" Rachel asked quietly.
Shelby nodded. She stood and cupped her eldest daughter's face. "Are you alright?"
Santana gave a shrug. "I'm fine."
Shelby pulled her daughter close and rested her forehead on her daughters. "Santana - its okay, but you need to come back, focus." She met Santana's eyes. She knew she needed to catch her. She needed her to stay in this moment. "Breathe." She took a deep breath and was relieved to see that Santana was following her. "Why don't you take Rachel, okay?"
"No, Mom," Noah interrupted. "She can't. Look at her."
Shelby looked at her son. "Noah!"
"What, Mom? She fucked up!"
Shelby leaned down to her son and took his angry eye trying her best not to scare her youngest who was still in his arms.
"You need to calm down, do you hear me?" she said gently. "You're not helping right now." She looked at her three children. "We need to go to the police station. I need to wake Quinn up. Please go get ready."
"Mom," Noah said. "Can't I stay here with Rachel?"
"Rachel has to come to give her statement," Shelby said from the door. "This isn't a discussion, Noah."
Shelby took a deep breath and went into Quinn's room.
She was still sleeping soundly on the floor. Shelby gave a sigh. Thank God. It was bad enough that her children had to hear that lunatic. She didn't need this girl breaking down more at words that Shelby was sure she had heard her whole life. She gently sat down next to the sleeping girl and shook her shoulder. "Quinn," she whispered. The girl didn't move. She tried again. "Quinn?"
The girl gave a groan. "Yeah?"
"I need you to sit up," Shelby said in a tone that conveyed so much that it brought Quinn out of her blissful stupor. Those pain meds really knocked her out.
"What…What happened?" Quinn asked looking at Shelby with a vulnerability that one has when one first wakes up.
Shelby searched the girls face as she rummaged through her head for the words that would be least hurtful.
"Your mother stopped by," Shelby said.
Quinn shot up. "Oh my god, is she still here?" She saw Shelby shake her head. A strange relief washed over her. She began hurriedly, "I know how she can be but…." She trailed off when she was met with silence. She soaked in Shelby's body language. "Oh God, what did she do? If I just talk to her things will be fine. Just let me speak to her. I can be out of your way."
Her ears suddenly perked up to the quiet crying outside her door and Noah's failed attempt to keep his voice down.
"God, San!" she heard him say. "Why can't you just listen? You scared her?"
Shelby stood and opened the door. Quinn caught view of everyone. They weren't the same people that Quinn had seen earlier. While there had been a despair and rage in Santana's eyes before, she now looked more shattered than Quinn had ever seen her. Rachel was practically in a catatonic state and Puck was livid.
"Come here, bug," Shelby whispered to Rachel and led into Quinn's room and into the bathroom. "Wash up please."
Quinn watched as Shelby returned to the other two. "You're not helping, Noah. Go cool off."
Noah stomped away and Shelby looked at her daughter silently. "San?"
"I'm fine," Santana whispered as she headed down the hallway. "I'll get ready."
Quinn watched her leave and caught her eye briefly. What had happened? Shelby turned to look back at Quinn.
The blonde was trying to go over everything in her head. She had gone to bed devastated. She had been crying. Santana's words were echoing in her head. She was fucked up. She knew that. However, now she was awake and apparently her mother came by the house. What impeccable timing. She gritted her teeth and swallowed her regret. Her mother always knew how to take a shitty day and make it worse.
"What happened?" Quinn asked.
Shelby took a deep breath and sat on Quinn's make-shift bed on the floor. "Come sit with me, please."
Quinn folded her arms. "I would rather stand."
"Your mother wanted to see you," Shelby said after a few beats. "She yelled a great deal of things and everyone heard it. Santana yelled at her also and tried to physically remove her from the house –''
"She did?" Quinn asked with a frown. "I-I-I-…. You should have woken me up. I would have just gone with her."
"That's absolutely not an option, Quinn," Shelby said seriously. "Absolutely not."
Quinn looked away. "So…..Where is she?"
"The police arrested her." Shelby let the words soak in. She watched a panic rise in Quinn's chest.
"She's going to kill me," Quinn muttered, clearly more to herself than Shelby.
"She will not come near you. Jackie is meeting us at the station. We need to file a complaint, a restraining order, and charges for assault."
"Assault?" Quinn asked with urgency. Shelby knew from the girl's eyes that she knew what her mother was capable of.
Shelby hesitated. The anger in her own heart was still surging. She needed to pull it together.
"What did she do?" Quinn asked.
Shelby took a deep breath. "This is not your fault. None of this."
"What did she do?"
"She grabbed Rachel," Shelby said finally. "Pinned her against the wall."
"Oh god, is she okay?" Quinn asked looking at the bathroom door.
"Yes, she's shaken up but she's okay."
Quinn fell to the bed behind her. This couldn't be happening. This couldn't be happening, she repeated in her head. Her thoughts were broken when she felt two tiny arms snake around her mid section.
"I care about you. You're my family," Rachel said into Quinn's stomach.
Quinn winced slightly because the hug was so hard, but she didn't care. She looked down at Rachel, she could see finger-bruises on the outside of both of Rachel's arms. Her mother did have an iron grip.
"I'm sorry, Rach," she said hugging her back.
"Don't be."
Shelby noticed Rachel's back rising and falling with hitched breaths. She placed her hand on the tiny girl. She looked at Quinn. "Please be ready to leave in about twenty minutes." She turned to her baby girl. "Come on, Bug."
Shelby led her down the hallway to her room. She hears her son step frantically after them. Rachel sits quietly in the big glider in her room. Shelby knelt down to Rachel's level. The nebulizer was still on the side table. Rachel gave a small groan with tearful eyes.
"It'll be really quick, bug," Shelby said as took the mask attachment from nebulizer. She saw Rachel protest. "The mask is still attached. I know you don't like it as much, but I want to get down to the police station as soon as possible, alright? Rachel gave in settled in the chair as she watched her brother pace into the room.
"Noah, please get ready to leave," Shelby asked as she looked at her son briefly while she pulled out an outfit for Rachel to wear. She hated this. Saturdays were supposed to be lazy. The kids were all still dressed in sweats and relaxed clothing. And now they needed to go down to the station.
"No, Mom," Noah said. "I'm not going and neither should Rachel. Look at her."
"I'm right here," Rachel said under the mask with frustration. "Mom, I can pick out my own clothes."
"Noah, get dressed. I need you there. I need Rachel there. I need San there. Go get dressed. I am not arguing."
Something fell down the hallway and Quinn's frustrated groan echoed down to them. Shelby put her hand on her son's back. "Go." She turned and looked at Rachel. "Finish that whole thing, bug," she instructed as she walked down the hallway.
As she walked into Quinn's room, she caught a glimpse of her eldest daughter in her room through the open bathroom doors. She was sitting quietly on her bed looking at her hands.
"Gah!" Quinn yelled bringing the attention back to her. The girl was frantically throwing things in the suitcases. One of them had apparently fell off of the bed.
"Quinn, Quinn," Shelby said wrapping her arms around the girl.
"No, no," she said. "I'll just leave. I'll leave. I've caused so much trouble. Please just … I'll go home. I'll leave."
Shelby cupped the girl's frantic face and forced her to look at her. "No, no. Focus on me, Quinn. This is not an option. You belong here now. You did not cause trouble. She did." She looked intensely into Quinn's eyes. "Do you hear me?"
She gave a small nod even though she knew her heard didn't believe it.
….
They arrived at the station. Lima wasn't a big city or even a bustling town. However, the police station still had a feel, a universal feel of anxiety. Noah hated coming here. It didn't matter if it were the police in New York City or in Lima. They lie and say that they're going to protect you, but they don't. Eight years later he still hadn't been able to get over the disappointment that he felt. The shield had let him down and had made his and his family's life more complicated. He shook his head and then they tried to say that they were helping him when he was an angry pre-teen. No, that's not how it worked. Perhaps he had been uncontrollably angry then. He stood by his family. Michael Hartland deserved to be pushed through that window. He had pushed Santana and called her a name. He believed that John Brandwyne deserved to have his jaw broken when Noah caught him pushing Rachel into the mud when she was eight. The police had told him he was wrong. Perhaps he had been angry, but he hadn't been wrong. The police told him he was wrong.
"Noah?" he felt a tug on his hand.
"Is Santana okay?" she asked as she looked back over her shoulder.
He shook his head. He frowned taking in Santana's appearance. "She's fine." He convinced himself. He took her hand and led her into the station.
The glass of the window shattered with a loud crash. Scraping his arm again the sharp edges, he managed to climb his way out of the window and onto the fire escape. He ran as fast as he could down the stairwell and onto the busy streets of New York the air filled his lungs. It was like he could breathe again. They had been stuck in that studio for months. He knew exactly where to go. He was going to get them help. He was going to do it.
He sprinted down the sidewalk and wove through the crowd. He remembered exactly where the police station was. All they needed to do was go in there and shoot him. They would shoot Hiram and then he and his sisters could go back to their brown stone. He was nine years old. That was how it worked, right? It was like a reset button on the Super Mario Brothers Game. He just had to get to the police station.
He ran through the doors frantically.
"Help! Help! I need you to shoot him!"
Suddenly the whole station was staring at him. A man in a suit approached him.
"Calm down, son," he said. "How can we help you?"
"My sisters!" he said breathlessly. "He's hurting them! Please!"
He saw other officers exchanging looks.
"What's your name, son?"
"Noah Corcoran."
His head was down as he tried to catch his breath. He didn't see the look of realization fill everyone's eyes.
"Give me the address," an officer said.
"It's at my dad's old studio," he said. "We were supposed to sell it years ago." He took a deep breath. "We've been there forever. Please," he said as he searched the officer's eyes. "My sisters are screaming. I … I couldn't get in. Please!"
He heard officers talking. He barely got the gist. "….. I thought we checked that….. It said it was sold… Get units over there now….."
Noah finally caught his breath and stood up straighter.
"You're going to bring them here and they'll be fine, right?"
An officer looked at him honestly. "No, son, that's not how it works."
"What do you mean?" Noah asked.
"You did the right thing coming here," he began.
"Not if you're not going to bring them here," he shouted. "You're supposed to save us! You're supposed to help us!"
Noah felt a tug on his sleeve.
"Watch them please," Shelby said to him. He gave a nod as he looked over at Quinn and barely glanced over at Santana. He watched as Shelby led Rachel into an interview room.
…
Quinn sat quietly on the wooden bench in the hallway of the police station. Her shoulders were tensed and raised. She couldn't believe she was back here.
She chewed her lip unconsciously as she stared at the dirty floor. She squeezed her eyes shut. Her mother had showed up at Corcorans. She had made a vow long ago when her and Brittany were closer that no one would ever see the terrible reality that was her family. She didn't need the pity but most of all she couldn't cause that hurt. She had failed.
She looked up when she heard the familiar footsteps of Jackie entering the station. She met the woman's eyes but at the same time felt herself sink deeper into her thoughts. For sixteen years, she tried her best to simply survive and get through her days. She never expected a better life. She simply wanted to survive. She felt so out of control but keeping this secret of who the Fabrays were was something she never wanted to be saved from. She never wanted anyone to know. Now she was here, three weeks later and everyone knew. Everyone.
"Please," she said to Jackie as Jackie came up to her. "Just let me take her home. I'll try to get Shelby to drop the charges. This is my fault. I did this. She wouldn't be here if it wasn't for me."
Quinn saw the interview room open from the corner of her eye and Shelby and Rachel step out. She didn't break her gaze from Jackie. "Please. This is all my fault."
Jackie knelt down to the sitting, exhausted girl. "No, Quinn. It's not. This is not your fault. It's mine for not doing something sooner."
The blond girl chuckled and shook her head. "You can't keep saying that. It was never your job to do anything."
"Actually, Quinn. It is."
Quinn shook her head and leaned back against the bench. She pressed her palms together and squeezed them between her knees. She was trying to release the tension and the pressure she felt in her heart. It was all too much. If she had just stayed in the damn house. Her mind drifted to a few weeks earlier.
Quinn felt the cold fall air embrace her and hide her in the darkness of the park. The stale sweat and the sticky blood the saturated her clothes an hour ago was now at the bottom of her hamper. And the shame of arousal was concealed in the darkness of her room, but lay exposed on the sheets of her bed.
She shivered at the thought. Two years. Ever since she became a woman had her father felt the necessity to treat her like one. She squeezed her eyes shut. She thought that it was worse once Frannie left, but it wasn't. That wasn't the worst part. She felt silent tears slip down her cheeks. She could still feel him on top of her, grunting and moaning. Even when she had been with Finn to try to escape her father's scent and touch….. she felt him. She felt him everywhere.
But there had been something different about this night. Even though her father's words and actions were the same, for the first time, she froze in the fear that this was her forever. As her body betrayed her for the countless time, she asked herself tearfully if this would be forever. Would this be her life in five years? Ten years? Her parents had never been like the Pierces and she had never expected them to be. She knew that they simply couldn't. However, there was a moment as Quinn lay trembling naked in the bitter darkness next to her snoring father where Quinn wanted out. She couldn't remember when she wanted that. She couldn't remember when she wanted any of that. She knew despite the brightness of the moon against the contrasting darkness that enveloped the small town that she needed to get out. She needed to regroup and remind herself that she didn't deserve to want more.
Now she swung on the swing in the park. She wasn't afraid of the dark. She knew was what out there. People as individuals were much more unpredictable. She couldn't trust anyone. At least with her family, she knew what to expect.
Suddenly she felt a light shining in her eyes.
"Miss?"
Her head shot up. Two police officers were heading toward her. Shit, she thought. Shit.
"I'm heading home," she said quickly. "I'm sorry."
"We'll drive you. Do you have any idea how late it is?"
Fuck, Quinn thought. "I know. 'm sorry. I'm fine. I live just over there," she lied.
"I'm sorry, Miss, but you're clearly a minor and ….." The female officer trailed off. "Are you alright?"
Quinn looked down at her appearance. How could she have been so stupid? She looked horrific. She was in baggy clothes. Her face was tearstained. Thankful her bruises were covered.
"Have you been crying, Miss? Is everything okay?" The officer reached for her and she flinched. She watched the officers exchange a look.
"I-I-I'm fine," she said. She watched the officers exchange looked. She needed to think fast. "It was my boyfriend. We had a fight. I'm fine… Please, just let me walk home."
"Can't, kiddo," the officer said. "Why don't you tell us where you live so we can talk with your parents about this boyfriend?"
"No!" she shouted immediately. Think, Quinn, think. "Please. Please just let me take care of it." She started to jog away slowly. "Please leave me alone."
She tried to pick up speed but her body was too exhausted. She barely got a few yards before she felt a hand on her arm.
"You're not going to run off. We can take you home."
She looked at the two of them. She looked into the darkness of the park.
"You won't get far. What's your address?" the officer asked. Quinn stared at them. She needed to accept defeat. It would make it easier.
Her heart was in her chest the whole ride home. She told herself that if she hit the police officer they would arrest her and she wouldn't have to go home. She wasn't sure what would be better: Being arrested or going home. She was still debating when she pulled up to her house. Her home. She shuttered.
She walked up to the front door and waited in anxious fear for someone to respond to the doorbell. She watched the lights flicker on. Please be my mother, she hoped. Please. The front door flew open. Her father opened the door. Shit, she thought.
She was frozen as the officers talked to him. She couldn't even hear what they were saying as he plastered on his public smile. All the Fabrays had it. All she could focus on, though, were the two scratches above his eye. She had forgotten that she had done that. Shit. Shit. Shit.
Her father caught her eye. Her ears opened to the conversation.
"I apologize officers. She caused a lot of trouble for you." Russell reached out to take her hand. Up until that point he had held steady, but he was about six inches off. Quinn knew he couldn't see straight when he was drunk, he normally just felt his way around.
"Sir, have you been drinking?"
Quinn instinctively took a step back and an officer caught her back so she didn't fall. She let out a gasp of pain. She kept her eyes shut. Her heart pounded. Shit.
"What's going on here?" the female officer asked. "are you hurt?"
"No, no," Quinn said quietly making an effort to step toward her father.
"She's fine," Judy said coming to the door. Quinn noticed that she staggered.
"Ma'am, have you been drinking?"
"I'm in my home. I'm not driving," Judy said. "We were all sleeping."
The officers exchanged another look and Quinn held her breath. "It seems," one of them finally said. "That your daughter is hurt. Wouldn't you want to get that checked out?"
"She's fine," Judy said grabbing Quinn's wrist.
An officer was trying to catch Quinn's eyes and Quinn was trying her best to avoid it.
"Do you feel safe here?" the officer finally asked.
Quinn met her eyes and made the biggest mistake. She hesitated. That seemed to be all that the officer needed.
"Sir, Ma'am we'll need you to step outside please. I will not release your daughter to you."
"Because we were drinking in our own home?" Judy argued.
"Because you're drunk and I have reason to believe she doesn't feel safe here," the officer clarified. "Please come to the vehicle and we'll do a breathalyzer test."
"Officer, this is unreasonable. We didn't do anything wrong. My daughter is out of control," Russell explained.
"It will be better if all of you come down to the station," an officer began.
"Absolutely not," Russell said stepping out of the house. "Quinn, get into the house."
Quinn looked at the officers and then her father.
"I apologize for the inconvenience. This is my fault," Quinn said evenly.
"See?" Russell asked as his put his hand on Quinn's back. "She's fine.
Quinn coiled in pain letting out a sob.
"You're daughter needs medical attention," an officer said.
"The hell she does," Russell spat. "Look for yourself," he spat. Judy saw what he was doing. He was trying to call them on their bluff.
"Don't listen to him. He's drunk," Judy spat.
The female officer met Russell's gaze and said gently to Quinn, "I'm just going to take a quick look, Quinn. Okay?"
"Please don't," Quinn said.
"Do it! I did nothing!" Russell announced. "She's a minor she has no say! You'll find nothing."
"You're an idiot," Judy hissed as the officer looked under Quinn's sweatshirt.
"They won't look, Judy! They-'''
Russell Fabray had been wrong. Quinn froze. Here it was four o'clock in the morning. She was standing with her drunk parents on her front step. Her past and present exposed for everyone to see.
She was back in the present. People had misunderstood. She hadn't been running away from her family. She had been trying to repave her path back to them, back to the only life she knew.
"Noah, take Rach and San out to the hallway please," Shelby asked kindly. She watched as her children silently left. All of them lost in their own thoughts. "What does this mean?" Shelby asked looking at Jackie and then back at Quinn.
"Well, Judy didn't pass the breathalyzer test. She will be held here probably until Monday. Unless someone can pay her bail," Jackie shook her head. "She'll have a bail hearing Monday that will also set her trial date. I do have to say, though, Quinn, this doesn't help her in getting you back."
Quinn shook her head. "I don't…. I don't know."
….
Rachel watched her sister from Noah's side. She was thinking terribly hard.
"What's wrong with San?"
"I don't know and I don't care," Noah said with a frown.
"Why are you being so mean to her?" Rachel asked.
Noah shook her head and gave an annoyed chuckle. He hugged his baby sister closer. "Why are you never mad at her?"
Rachel gave him a small side smile that showed her dimple. "Because she's San and I'm Rachel."
Rachel climbed off of the bench and walked over to Santana who was sitting on the bench down the hallway by herself. She pulled herself up on the bench and looked at Santana. She then looked away as she tried to father her words. She looked at her again trying to figure out how to say them out loud. Then she looked away again.
As always, Santana beat her to it and spoke first.
"I'm so sorry, Rachel," Santana whispered.
Rachel looked up at her with big eyes. "For what?"
"For leaving you," she whispered as her tears fell.
The tiny girl shook her head. "You didn't….. you never have."
"Rach," Santana said turning to her. "I left you today…. Upstairs. And I….''
"No, you didn't," Rachel shook her head. "I just…. I didn't want you hurt. I know you wouldn't leave me. You never have." Rachel searched her eyes with worry. Santana turned away from her.
"That's not true," the older girl said with a distant look.
Rachel reached out and took her sister's hand. She felt Santana flinch. "It is, San. You were always there….." Rachel looked at her hands. "Even when…. When….. he did it to me."
"Rachel," Santana whispered painfully. "It wasn't the same."
Rachel looked up at her sister with a furrowed brow and a trembling lip. "That's not true, San," she muttered. She scanned her sister's face. "….He did it to you, too…"
Her voice was so small that Santana felt like her last bit of strength slipped out of her. The older girl shook her head and pressed her lips together. Her brow furrowed as she failed to withhold her tears. "You …... You don't understand….You won't." She couldn't contain her sob and she leapt to her feet.
Rachel felt her breaths hitch her chest. "San! San, wait!" she finally managed to say. She felt tears cascading down her cheeks. She frowned and scanned her memory. Her chest heaved. What did she mean?
…..
Shelby watched as Jackie talked quietly to Quinn. She suddenly saw a Styrofoam cup shoved in her face.
"You look like you could use some coffee," said a voice.
She looked over and a tall man with soft eyes and dimples that made her think of her children.
"Thank you," she smiled.
He held out his hand. "Inspector Baker." He smiled. "But you can call me Gus."
Shelby gave a nod and a slight small. She looked over her shoulder and watched her son scowl more deeply and her daughters chat.
"We've worked together in the field before," he said casually. "With the Conner case awhile back."
Shelby was barely listening. She could see something in her eldest daughter's eyes. Something was wrong.
"We appreciate the work that you do," Gus said with a nod acknowledging that she wasn't paying any attention.
She watched as Santana's face began to crumble. She felt a pang in her heart. Something was most certainly wrong. She watched as Santana ran crying out the front of the station.
"I'm sorry," she said with a shake of her head. "Please excuse me. Jackie, I'll be right back."
…...
Santana ran outside. She couldn't breathe. She couldn't think. It felt like her brain was exploding and her heart was crumbling all at once. She felt the tears sting her eyes and the lump ache in her throat. She wasn't going to do this. This wasn't happening.
"Santana," she heard her mother call.
The burning in her eyes and the ringing in her ears only allowed her to see a blur of her mother.
"What's going on, sweetheart?" Shelby said as she caught Santana's arm.
Santana shook it off. "No," she sobbed. "Don't. Leave me alone."
Everything that she had built, all the promises that she had swore to keep, and the past that she so desperately wanted to leave behind was all tumbling. Noah's words rang in her mind. "You left. I got her." She had left and she had failed. In the back of her mind, the tiny sane person was reminding her that she was just trying to protect her family, but she couldn't hear it. Quinn's words rang in her ears. "You're just as fucked up as you were then!" She wasn't that brave, tough person that she tried so desperately to be. She was weak. She was so weak. Judy's words pounded in her head. "I'm sure he's burning in hell for his sins. Your faggot children will burn too." She wasn't good enough. She never would be.
Santana couldn't breathe. Everything that she had screamed at Quinn felt like nails in her heart as a reminder of what a terrible person that she was and always would be. She had been caught in the echoes of what had been since the ride home. It all ached. It had been eight years ago, but it felt like an open wound. She was safe in Lima with her family, but her anxiety was so high she felt like she was being chased again, only to be caught and pulled back under.
One top of all of it, the way Rachel looked at her. The hope and the care in her young eyes brought Santana to her most guilty point. They were the same eyes that begged to be saved during the dark evenings. Santana never could.
"San," Shelby tried again. The woman pulled her daughter into a tight embrace trying her best to calm her. "Breathe, kiddo. Mommy's right here."
"I left her. I left her," she repeated into her mother's chest.
Santana tried in vain to push her away. She couldn't be held. She couldn't. She turned and saw Noah, Quinn and Rachel standing at the steps of the station.
The mother squeezed her eyes shut knowing exactly what had been triggered in her daughter.
"San, you never left her," Shelby said lifting her chin. She paused and scanned Santana's eyes. "You fought, my darling girl. You always did. You have never left her."
"I did," Santana said managing to release herself from her mother's arms. She waved her arms as her wet eyes grew wide. "Can't you see? It's me! It's always been my fault!"
"No, San," Shelby tried again to reach for her daughter. Santana was too fast and began to storm away.
Shelby's heart broke as her eldest daughter's giant, angry strides halted and she sat dejectedly in the middle of the parking lot.
Santana turned to her mother tearfully. "She thinks….. She thinks that we…." She trailed off and shook her head. "I can't do this, Mom," she whispered. "I don't ever want to talk about it. Why is this coming up? Why am I feeling this?"
If she wasn't already kneeling in the parking lot at the police station, Santana would have crumbled to the ground.
"I can't," she repeated as she shook her head and looked at her mother. "I can't." Shelby knelt down in front of her and pulled her into her arms.
Shelby suddenly felt a tiny body wrap itself around Santana and lean her head against Shelby's arm. Breaths hitched in the chest of this new person. Shelby loosened her grip. Rachel was then able to move in and hug Santana tightly.
"I'll never leave you, Sanny," Rachel whispered into her big sister's sobbing form. "I got you."
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