Author's Note

This chapter. This is one I've been waiting to write for a while. I've had most of this planned out ahead of time, and finally I get to write it. Now, I don't want to hype this up, but I had a bit of fun with this one. Trying to actually put in more humor instead of backhandedly slapping it in. Let me know what you guys think! Is there anything that made you laugh? Anything that seemed like it was supposed to be a joke but just fell flat? It's more of an experimental chapter, but it's also how things would happen as well in my mind, so I'm not trying to force humor in, I'm just trying to make moments that might be amusing and make them funny.

Kurogano Yokaze: Ah, I see. While that is certainly the most logical guess for why she's there… Well, that's for a reveal in a later chapter. Not this one, Yoichi and I both have our own plans. There is so much that will be revealed at a certain point that it's the only chapter I'm actually excited to write more than any of the others, but there's still a good amount of buildup to go through to put all the pieces in place.

As for Suzumebachi, I honestly forgot about her. I guess she just wasn't interesting enough to me. Looking back at her, she was only seen in filler during part 1, where she presumably died since she's never seen again except in an omake. I could throw her in, sure, but honestly, she doesn't appeal to me as a character that much. I'd want to just write that little filler part as having taken place here with different characters with pretty much the same end result, and that she's dead. I know there are people that aren't going to like that, but I just hope they understand why.

Warning! This story will contain language, sexual situations, and possibly fetishes that some people may feel uncomfortable with. If you are easily offended or disturbed, don't complain, you've been warned.

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto

Chapter 42:

Yoichi casually walked through the darkened village as it stormed around him. He and Hana hadn't done too much, mainly just talking about each other as he idly toyed with her, enjoying the whimpers of being denied more than what he gave from her. Now that he thought of it, he could always step his game up at home and try making the other girls do the same…

But right now, that wasn't what he was focused on. A small layer of chakra kept the rain from touching him as he made his way to the top of the Hokage monument. He had eaten dinner after leaving the Inuzuka compound, and now was waiting for a certain someone to show up…

"A-are you the one who wrote that note?" He heard, turning around to see someone standing behind him, cloaked to avoid the storm. Nodding he made a handsign, making them panic for a moment before he simply used a jutsu that expanded the chakra around him into a dome around them both, even drying them ground beneath them as well as the other's cloak.

"Indeed I am, care to sit with me?" He said, taking out a small storage scroll and unsealing it, revealing… a picnic blanket. Along with it was a vase of flowers and a few pre-lit candles. Don't ask how he managed it, but know it wasn't easy. He took a seat and patted the blanket beside him, the other person hesitating a several moments before sitting down beside him.

"I… don't really get what's going on." They said, bewilderment obvious in their voice.

"Don't worry, just relax. You can take off that cloak as well, I'm not going to hurt you. Just here to talk." They seemed to think things over, before eventually sighing and complying, revealing a girl his age with long red hair and glasses.

"The note said you knew what I needed and to meet you here at this time. There wasn't any mention of… this!" She said, motioning to the layout of a romantic picnic they were at. Yoichi simply gave her a dismissive wave.

"I know what I wrote, and I know exactly what you need. Let's just take things one at a time. My name's Yoichi Sakata, what's yours?" He said, the girl very confused. Before she could say another word, a voice spoke out from behind them.

"Karin, you said that you were gathering information from someone. I came to see how… trustworthy this informant might be, but I instead find you on a date?" The killer intent was heavy, the two of them slowly turning around, Karin visibly afraid of the figure who stood just feet behind them.

"You have got to be fucking kidding me…" Yoichi muttered under his breath as Karin shot up onto her feet.

"Lord Orochimaru! I swear on my life, that wasn't my intent! I arrived here not knowing this was going to happen!" She frantically said, Orochimaru's eyes narrowing, obviously not believing her.

"I expected more from you. I have no used for a girl who cares more about a date with an enemy than her mission." He stated before lashing out at the two teenagers, Karin shutting her eyes and attempting to shield herself, knowing it wouldn't be enough, hoping that her death would come quick.

Instead, nothing happened.

Slowly opening her eyes, she was astonished to see Yoichi in front of her, one arm outstretched, a shield of lightning protecting the two of them, his other hand pinching the bridge of his nose.

"Look, she's telling the truth. I invited her out here because I saw her while I was preoccupied with doing something else, so I left her one of the pre-written notes I keep on me just in case I might need them. It said I knew what she needed, because from my experience with women, all girls enjoy a nice, quiet night with someone to talk to with a good view." Yoichi explained, the shield dissipating but him staying on guard as he stared down at the sannin who looked at him in disbelief.

"You can't be serious!" Orochimaru exclaimed, both flabbergasted from what the boy said, but mainly from the fact that he was able to not only move so quickly but also defend them both with a move he had never seen before.

"Oh, completely. You see, I can be a bit simple. I see a cute face, I might want to talk with them. I see a cute face with red hair and glasses? I want to do so much more." He looked over his shoulder at Karin to give her a wink, but the look she gave him was similar to the one Orochimaru was giving him. "What? I like redheads! Do you know how hard it is to find one? I know two women who are red heads. Two. And one of them you should know for sure!" He said to the sannin.

"Red head I should know…? Wait a minute, she's alive!?" Orochimaru exclaimed, realizing who he was talking about. Yoichi widened his eyes, waving his hands.

"Wh-what? No! She's dead! Dead as a doornail, six feet under! She didn't tell us anything, so we got rid of her! When'd I say she was alive?" He said, trying to make up for his fuck-up, but Orochimaru knew this boy was too young and too low of a rank to have known she was even a prisoner. That, and Yoichi was a terrible liar.

"Don't you dare try to lie to me, boy! Whether or not you tell me the truth, and maybe even tell me where she is, I may just spare your life." Is was a bluff, of course. He couldn't let him live after this. Yoichi sighed, hitting his forehead with his palm before looking back to Orochimaru.

"Alright, fine, she's alive. And while I'm at it, so is Kin. And right now, they're safe. They don't want to go back to you, and I'm not letting you kill them, just like I'm not going to let you kill… Karin, was it?" He paused, looking back to her, who nodded before pointing back to Orochimaru, Yoichi looking back just in time to duck under a blade.

"Insolent brat!" Orochimaru said, holding the sword of Kusanagi in one hand. "There's no place safe from me! That just tells me she's in the village. Once I'm through with you, I'll give Karin one last chance to save her life by finding them for me. If you have any last words, I'd suggest you say them now." Of course, Yoichi did have last words, but they were probably the least expected words he'd ever heard.

"You want to just, talk this out first? I've got food, and no one should be able to sense you under this barrier since it's just a shell of my chakra." If Karin's jaw could detach and hit the ground, it would have, appalled at the gall this boy had. What the biggest surprise was? Orochimaru's response of course.

"The look in your eyes… you're actually serious. You also have the look of someone who doesn't want to fight… I'll humor you for your last moments, but I expect you to tell me whatever I wish to know in exchange. If I find you lying to me, consider your life forfeit immediately." Yoichi nodded, and even smiled to him, taking a seat on the blanket as he pulled out a few other scrolls containing food.

"Well, I greatly appreciate it! Is there anything specific you'd like?" He asked, Karin watching in complete shock as Orochimaru walked over and took a seat. This has to be some genjutsu, or a dream, right?

"Karin, you sit down as well. I'm keeping my eyes on you, and if you try to run away, you'll suffer the same fate as him." He said with a glare, Karin immediately taking a seat, feeling too many emotions to process right now. "Now then, you wouldn't happen to have any eggs, or anything with egg?"

Yep, this was real alright. That thought scared her more than the thought of impending death.

Surprisingly enough, Yoichi lived to return home and go to sleep, just missing the others as they went off to bed, having sent a shadow clone to let them know he was probably going to be out late before he met up with Karin. He woke up a bit earlier than usual, none of the others awake just yet, taking a fairly long shower in his bathroom, then grabbing the newspaper to read to check up on anything news worthy.

By the time he went to the kitchen to grab something to drink, there were a few of her shadow clones already at work putting breakfast together, telling him the others had gotten up just a couple minutes ago. They greeting him and preparing a cup of tea for him, made just the way he liked. There was some expressed surprise at seeing him this early, but he dismissed it, saying it wasn't rare, but not often he wakes up a bit earlier than usual.

Ino was the first to come out, not as surprised to see him, but not expecting it either. However, there was one issue he had missed the previous day that needed to be addressed.

"Can you just repeat that one more time so I know I'm not hearing you wrong?" He asked, Ino sighing.

"Lord Jiraiya came by last night with a message from Tsunade that the workers from Wave aren't going to do the job. Apparently Naruko had recommended them, saying they were the best building group she's ever seen, but left out the fact that they only work on bridges." She said, just as said other blonde came it.

"Hey, it's not my fault! They never said they only did bridges! Besides, I told grandma about them a long time ago, not recommended them! It's not my fault she couldn't find better people!" She said, puffing her cheeks out and crossing her arms before moving over beside Yoichi, giving him a peck on the cheek as she leaned against him. Ino shrugged.

"Alright, whatever. Point is, the team we had planned isn't going to help, and she doesn't have time to look for another, so we're on our own. To top it all off, they can't help pay for the supplies but are willing to triple the mission pay." Yoichi sighed, one hand rubbing Naruko's head, much to her delight, as the other propped up his chin.

"Welp, guess I know what I'm working on today… and maybe the next three days. How are we going to find a large team to get something of this scale done in month, let alone two weeks?" He says, before noticing Konan come in, waving to her. "Konan! There was something in the paper I thought you'd want to see. There was an orphanage that was built in Ame that got blown up, and then rebuilt." The girl blinked before moving over and picking up the paper, already turned to the article in question. After a few moments she sighed.

"Dammit, Deidara…" She muttered. "This has Akatsuki written all over it. Nagato, Yakiko, and I were all orphans, so it makes sense that he'd want to have one built. Plus the fact that it was built overnight without anyone knowing and the supplies being paid for already, they're plenty able to do that. Nagato did seem to come to believe that building built character after he changed. Again." She said, lowering the paper.

Yoichi and Ino looked to each other, Naruko not even paying attention as she nuzzling Yoichi's shoulder, before both of them looked at Konan pleadingly. It took her a moment before realizing what they were thinking.

"No. Not happening. It's too risky to have them here. What would the other villages think if they knew that the place they were signing a peace treaty at was built by extremely dangerous criminals from their home?" She said, putting the paper down and crossing her arms.

"Konan, please! We have to try! You said that Nagato would help out if I needed it, right? Well we need his help! You know the situation we're in! Besides, it's for peace, something both you and he wants! He can't say no!" Yoichi pleaded, Konan shaking her head.

"That's not the problem. I know he'll agree to it as well. The problem is the fact that five of the deadliest and most wanted criminals in the nation will come here. There was enough trouble keeping them in line back in Ame, and there's no telling how well they'll be kept in line here. Besides, Nagato would have to bring himself here to keep them fully in line. I'm not sure if there's anyone trustworthy enough to run Ame while they're gone." She said, Temari, Kin, and Hinata all coming in.

"What's going on?" Temari asked, seeing Yoichi on his knees in front of Konan. "Usually things are the other way around."

"Konan can contact Nagato who can make the Akatsuki work on the building that we last the workers for, but she won't do it!" He stated, the three staring at them.

"You mean the five extremely dangerous criminals that are wanted by pretty much each of the biggest villages?" Hinata asked, Yoichi nodding.

"Yoichi, we love you, but that's why we have to tell you this is the worst idea you've ever had." Kin said.

"Ino thinks it's a good idea!" He said, pointing to said girl.

"I didn't say anything! I just had the thought, but then realized how ridiculous it was." She said defensively. Yoichi stood up and sighed.

"Looks like I have no choice. Kin! Save my breakfast for me. And Satsuki's too." He added before rushing out of the kitchen, leaving the girls bewildered.

"Wha- hey! Put me down!" They heard Satsuki yell out.

"Can't do that, need you to come with me to speak with your brother. Can't tell you why just yet either!" He exclaimed back, Konan widening her eyes.

"That son of a bitch…" She said before running out after him. "Yoichi! Get back here! He's not going to agree with you!" She yelled out, the girls looking to each other as Tayuya walked in, half-asleep and not showered, having just woken up.

"What'd I miss?" She asked, as she saw the looks on the other's faces.

Konan tried to keep up to Yoichi, but he was much faster than she anticipated. Only because he had released his weights, but didn't know that. She arrived at Itachi's room in the recovery ward of the hospital, seeing a disgruntled Sasuki standing beside Yoichi, who had just finished explaining things to Itachi.

"You should contact Nagato." The Uchiha stated when they all turned to her. She gave him a dry look.

"There is no possible reason why I should." He shook his head.

"Nagato won't be the only one to keep them in line. Satsuki and I could assist him, as well as you and several capable jonin. Besides, there won't be five to keep in check, only two. I'm sure for the right price, Kakuzu will not only help out willingly, but also keep Hidan in line." Yoichi took a moment to stop him.

"Wait, Hidan? Is that the sixth person? I thought he was gone. I was there when he was turned into a rock!" He said, having heard six, but thinking it was just a different person.

"You didn't really think that we wouldn't have tried to retrieve his ring at least, did you? It was worth more than his life. We broke him out and remade the rock he was in. He even told us what happened. You owe me, by the way, for making sure that he didn't go after you." Konan stated, Yoichi facepalming. He thought the plan was so good, too…

"I'll take back five percent of the stocks I gave him and give it to you instead… Anyways, you were saying, Itachi?" The Uchiha nodded, Konan thinking the idea over before realizing the money would pretty much just go back to Yoichi.

"Kakuzu can keep an eye on Hidan easily. Kisame would be the next most willing I believe, since he's loyal to Nagato. Then there's Sasori and Deidara. Sasori would be the most useful, being able to use multiple puppets to help out, and we know his weakness. Deidara is certainly the most unstable and dangerous, but would be useful nonetheless. We just need to make sure to drain the chakra from anything he makes out of clay, and that he doesn't blow anything up." He explained. Yoichi looked at Konan with a grin, secretly hoping that she couldn't find an excuse around that. She couldn't.

"Alright, fine. He should be awake, I'll contact him." She said, putting her hands in a Ram seal.

"Wait, now? Here? How? There's no way you can talk with someone in Ame!" Satsuki exclaimed.

"That's because you aren't god." A voice said, an illusory body made up of spectral colors appearing before them, showing the outline of a person. The only part that they couldn't see through were the eyes that were definitely the Rinnegan from what Konan told them.

"And you are?" Satsuki asked, Yoichi piping up.

"Well, he's the closest thing to one now. Access to something that prevents him from aging and suffering any drawbacks of certain techniques, absorb all kinds of chakra, remove souls, control gravity, can summon a large number of creatures and the King of Hell itself… Am I missing anything?" Yoichi lists off what he remembered from what Konan told him.

"And revive the recently deceased. You must be Yoichi, then? I see Itachi is there too, along with his sister." The figure said, Yoichi nodding as Konan sighed.

"Nagato, I thought you got past this god-complex. You can still die." The figure shook its head.

"Not anymore. With my heritage, the Rinnegan, and this water from the god tree, I am truly invincible. Should I wish, I could slaughter thousands, only to bring them back and kill them again! I could-!" Konan cut him off.

"Can you make a boulder that not even you can lift? And then can you lift it?" Nagato paused to think.

"You always have to do this… Alright, I'm not god or even a god. Happy?" Konan nodded. "Good. Now, what is it you need?"

"I was hoping I could ask for a favor. You see, we need to build a place for the Kage to have a summit about a peace treaty as well as temporary housing for about forty people. I was told fifty, but there's barely even going to be thirty, and I don't think they'll miss ten rooms. Anyways, the summit's in a month, we have no funds, no materials, and we want it done as soon as possible to make sure everything's ready. Could you and the Akatsuki handle that? While also not killing anyone or destroying any property, of course." The figure seemed to think before shrugging.

"Well, you had me until the 'not killing or destroying' part. That's the hard part. But since it's for peace, then I'll see what I can do. I'll let Konan know as soon as I can." He says, Yoichi nodding.

"Make sure it's not when we're taking a bath, either." Satsuki said, making Yoichi raise an eyebrow.

"She didn't contact me, I was worried! Besides, I didn't know!" Konan sighed and shook her head.

"I'll make sure to let you know when I'm free." She stated, Nagato's image seeming to nod.

"Oh, one last thing! Think you can bring some of the god tree water with you if you do end up coming? I owe some people." He said, Nagato sighing.

"Because it's you, I'll think about it." He said before the image vanished, the other occupants looking at each other.

"Well, we've got that settled… but what did you need me for again?" Satsuki asked, crossing her arms.

"Oh! Because I'd like a bit of exercise, and thought Itachi would like some too." He said, making a shadow clone and opening the room's window. "I'll see you girls later, and Itachi… None of that black fire, please." He said, jumping out of the window and running off, leaving the others confused. The clone stood next to Satsuki, counting down on his fingers.

"Hey, Itachi." The clone said, getting the Uchiha's attention. Instead of saying something, the clone pulled Satsuki close and gave her a deep, over dramatic kiss, lasting a few seconds longer than what would be considered comfortable. "I fucked your sister." The clone stated before poofing as a kunai was thrown through its forehead. Itachi stood up, his face as stoic as always.

"I told him not to say anything along those lines. I'm going to kill him." He stated, calmly walking out of the room. Satsuki and Konan looked to each other before their stomachs growled, reminding them that they hadn't eaten yet.

"Let's head back." Konan suggested, Satsuki nodding, her face a bit red from the kiss. Leaving the hospital, the two of them could already hear Yoichi's yells.

"I said no black fire! No black fire! No! NO! Satsuki, help!" The girls didn't seem to pay him any mind, heading back home as Yoichi's chase quickly became one of the few life or death situations he had experienced so far.

"Why do we stay with that dumbass again?" Satsuki asked, Konan shrugging.

"He's a dumbass… but he's our dumbass." She stated before giving a small smile, Yoichi's yells being heard across the village.

Author's Note

So, how was it? Any laughs? Chuckles? Smirks? I want to apologize now for my sense of humor since I know comedy is something more subjective. If I didn't do a good job, I won't try to do things like this again, but if people enjoyed it, I might throw a bit more later on.

Anyways, hope you all enjoyed! Please make sure to follow this story to keep up to date on when I post as I do not have a regular schedule. Also leave a review/comment telling me what you did or didn't like and what you'd like to see more or less of. Any bit helps!

Until next time!

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