Vanzilla was more packed than usual. Rita saw it as the most efficient method. Sure she could have taken the others home and have Lori watched them, but the time that would waste was simply undesirable. Besides, this special trip wouldn't have taken too long.

In a change of pace, Leni was in the front passenger seat, side by side with her mother. It was intimidating being this close to someone bigger, older, and smarter than her. She wasn't a fan of being the center of attention so much as thinking of it. There were real emotions involved (pride, embarrassment, duty) that Leni couldn't capture when she had that gap between imagination and reality. Naturally, the parents' attention was spread thinly with ten children and only Lori got the extra scraps that came from being dealt responsibility. Needless to say, the whole experience was surreal.

Unable to stare her mother in the eye, Leni spent much of the trip staring at the white envelope in her hands. She examined it from multiple angles, takin note of the various features (the neat strip of Scott tape along the back, the familiar handwriting in black marker, the linear contours that composed much of the front). Thinking of what was to come brought a soft excitement, the kind she imagined when the TV was playing an awards show but the volume was down low. It was new.

"How do you feel, honey?" Rita asked, observing her daughter. Leni glanced up and saw that reassuring grin and gentle eyes she knew her mother so well for. Although she didn't think she looked different, it was clear that something was being transmitted.

"Fine," she answered flatly.

"Don't you feel proud of yourself? You know, very few kids did what you were able to do."

It wasn't that she didn't feel some pride. Leni did have some tickles lurking around various parts of her body, moving in waves and spurts. But from the windows to her soul (her eyes, mouth, cheeks), they were clogged by this embarrassment. The thought of her gushing openly, to take the credit felt wrong to her. To smile was to be selfish, or so it seemed to her. The best she could muster, to acknowledge her mother, was a used gesture. She shrugged.

"Well I'm proud of you," Rita responded, leaning in towards Leni, "and you should be proud as well. What you're doing is wonderful."

It was. Leni had little doubt that she was doing something great. Who else would be giving money to this school, this place where others like her could get the things they need. Derek might learn to talk, Jake might learn to make friends, Billy might learn to smile. And Lisa? Maybe learn to be a kid that can have fun and say "I love you". As she thought of all those goals, enriching all those fantastic people, she couldn't help but smile.

And that was all Rita needed from her daughter (a visual acknowledgement of pride). That was what carried them to the school.

The building was striking compared to Royal Woods Junior High. Where the latter was two stories and had an exterior dominated by weathered bricks and stained windows, this was one floor and it's outside had a fresh white coat of paint and clean windows. Around its corner was a colorful playground, the sun shimmering off the plastic and metal. And a sign stood across the front. It read "Bartholomew's Helpers" in the center. The edges were surrounded with handprints encompassing every color imaginable.

Leni, though, felt weird looking at its polished and playful aspects. But she immediately pushed that dreaded thought out. How dare she think that way?

"Lori's in charge," Rita announced as she stretched behind her seat, "Behave yourselves."

Rita and Leni popped out of Vanzilla, the latter gripping the envelope in front of her. Both her hands were squeezing the edges, as if she were lugging a heavy box. As she walked in, her eyes wandered to absorb the new surroundings. Mrs. Barnes had told her about this place, but this was her first time seeing it for herself.

"Did Mom and Dad always know about this place?"

The inside was even cleaner, as indicated by the shiny tiles and organized furniture. But the most notable feature was the smiles on the employees' faces as they entered. Their size, clear shape, and impeccable teeth cast a warm atmosphere. It reminded Leni a lot of Mrs. Lane, smiling, nice, supportive. Even those working behind the main desk or passing through made sure to give that reassurance as they went about their day.

"Hello," the receptionist said, perking up a grin (her second nature).

"Good afternoon. We're here to see..." Rita said. As her mind drew the inevitable blank, she turned to Leni for help.

"Mr. Phillips," Leni recited. If there was anything she could remember in that moment, it was the directions Mrs. Barnes had given her that morning.

"Oh yes, you're here to give him a check," she said, peering over her desk to see the envelope, "We heard you raised a lot of money and Mr. Phillips is gonna be very happy to see it."

"Thank you," Leni simply said. Her feet got the urge to stumble back, to give herself some distance from all this praise. When would it stop?

Thankfully, they received the room number and the two were on their way. Each footstep produced a resonant flop against the hard floor, a noise she rarely heard at the crowded and noisy Junior High. Leni felt bigger walking in these halls, as if she were a teacher working here or one of her mother's old friends. And the envelope clasped in her hands reinforced this upgrade, this elated feeling. But in the back of head, she knew it was wrong. It told her to cut it out and swallow some of that pride, as if it were some exotic food she was trying for the first time. The coarse spices tinged her tongue as an excessive lump sat upon it, accumulating diluting saliva.

Mr. Phillips's room was in many ways a time capsule. A big bright colorful rug was sprawled across the front. Along the back was a collection of toys and books, all with distinct features that caught her eye (whether it was a soft furry bunny to a cover with Rosy Cake on it). Filling in the gaps were large, round tables that she was all too familiar with. Leni smiled as she remembered those simple, innocent days of Mrs. Egan's class. Where have they gone? Why did those voices in her head and burdens on her shoulders have to replace them?

Looking around, Leni observed the students. There weren't as many as in Mrs. Egan's or any of her normal classes (only ten or so). Some of them were fiddling with crayons at the tables while other raced around the room with dinosaurs in hand, roaring and chuckling the whole time. A few of them were wearing plastic ear muffs and one of them was tapping on that voice-generating tablet Derek has. Examining the group, she found herself caught in the middle of a complicated tangle.

When she saw those sitting alone minding their own business, it reminded her of those long days where she had spent alone attending to her own devices. When she was little, she either colored or confided in her Bun Bun. Now, it either turned into sewing sessions or parousing the Internet for the latest news on her favorite shows (especially Princess Pony). They looked so peaceful, protected from the world's boisterous nonsense. They all had their own bubbles.

And then there were the ones moving around. They had no restraints, no fears, and no obligations. Their lives were spent at a swimming pool, where they splashed with glee and didn't care about hiding their feelings. But Leni knew she was never one of those types. Sure they were also sheltered from the toughness of Royal Woods Junior High, but they much better fitted Jake than anyone she knew.

The relation was there, so why was she so muddled? Well, the better question was why she was so happy? She wasn't in the mood to bounce around, she lacked the drive to do more, and no one was on the hug list. Yet, this feeling similar to it persisted. It wasn't the normal type of joy that she got from seeing her family or watching Rosy Cake. Deep within her, her heart was being stretched by her mind, this underlying force hidden by modesty's curtain.

These kids didn't seem like any of her younger siblings or those kid characters on TV. It took Leni a moment to register the image, but soon enough one emerged.

Steps. The ones that were in the foyer back home, scattered across the Junior High, often included on playgrounds. Each one was crafted individually from a specific piece of wood, from a special motion of the saw. But once the case was completed, no one bothered to acknowledge any of that. All of them were easily described by the whole, blanketing over any differences or outliers. And since they lacked a mind of their own, others could step on them, use them to elevate them to a higher place.

"Hello Mrs. Loud."

A tall man approached them. He sported a purple dress shirt with rolled up sleeves, black pants, and shoes that clambered even when strolling across the rug. Still, his clean-shaven bespectacled face had the gentleness needed to be a nurturing teacher. Leni observed as he walked past her and shook her mother's hand.

"And you must be Leni," Mr. Phillips said, turning to her and offering his hand. Going strictly off her mother's cue, she delicately took his hand and allowed him to do most of the shaking, "What brings you here today?"

"Well, like, I have money for you," Leni said shyly, holding out the envelope with both hands. Those eyes didn't reassure her despite their best efforts. She realized that these nerves were mostly on her side and not the result of anxiety, "The Fashion Club had a clothes sale and, like, made money."

"Why thank you," he said graciously as his careful hand accepted the offer.

Leni averted her eyes from the teacher, preferring to see the students. Her presence did nothing to penetrate their little worlds. Those that colored continued to produce their wobbly rainbows and crude houses. Those that snuggled with stuffed animals protected that warm fuzzy feeling their embrace brought. How ignorant they all appeared of the help she was giving them. She remembered being just like them when she were about a few years younger than any of them. Thinking about that past, uncivilized self reminded her of how great it would have been if those like her in that time had the aid of the Royal Woods Junior High Fashion Club. She felt a few steps higher.

"$1500!" he exclaimed, his mouth agape. Leni finally decided to see that face for herself. Indeed, as the tone suggested, his lips were in a tight open grin, "Why I must say you at quite the coordinator, Leni. We are so grateful for your generosity!"

Your? This whole time, Leni had supposed it was a group effort. None of it would have been possible without her Mom for encouraging her, Mrs. Barnes for administrating, Lori, Carol, the Fashion Club, and (of course) every person that bothered to cough up their allowance to buy something. And yet, Mr. Phillips (a grown up whose collar on his shirt spoke volumes) told her that she was the girl behind every penny of the $1500. She knew it was wrong to have a big ego, but she could prevent some of that pride from surfacing in her mind, those notions of her being some great crusader, a sweetheart stepping on more steps.

"Thank you," she replied automatically.

"No. Thank you. We can use this money to improve our classrooms," he said, his grin expanding even more. And so did her joy.

"Really?"

"Of course. With this money, we could buy some new books. We could install better computer programs to use in speech therapy," he then pointed straight at her, "and for a girl your age, you gave so much. Thank you."

Now she was at the top of that wooden case. Sure she had to keep her eyes up, never looking down to see any grooves or dust, but she made it. So this is what it feels like to be proud, to be of use. It was a warm sensation that spread to her whole body, her mind acting as an echo chamber for all those recorded compliments other people said to her, a small smile on her face when she gets a little indulgent. It was...nice.

"I'm just glad I could help," Leni said, her voice and throat relaxed.

And with that, they left. After all, they couldn't halt the class for the whole afternoon. But the ride home in Vanzilla (still intact) was an interesting experience. She felt in a higher place, above where she was before, even that silly idea of humility. That was just her dumb demons speaking again. After all, that grown up with a collar on his shirt said otherwise. That adult knew way more about the world than those voices anyway. She was a true coordinator, a sophisticated benefactor that was above it all, above anyone in that raucous automobile.

"Don't look down."

Even when they returned to the House, this elation persistently pulsated within her veins. She skipped on ahead the rest of her family, leaving her waiting for her mother to unlock the door.

Once inside, the family largely dispersed to go about their usual afternoon routines. As Leni made her way into the living room, she noticed something in the corner of her eye. Lisa was walking herself up the stairs. Since her body was still small, each step was like a mountain, requiring both hands and legs to clear. Ever since she learned, Leni had become more attentive towards her youngest sister, especially her struggles. And now it had reached a new high. Seeing that infant struggle up those steps spoke volumes. Now with her newly minted status, Leni knew what she had to do.

Racing to the steps, she swooped her sister into her arms and tucked her little body close to her chest.

"Don't worry, I can help you," she said soothingly. While hugging Lisa, Leni carefully ascended the stairs, making sure to keep herself from falling. That wasn't hard, even for her.

The natural place to go was the nursery. It was now that Leni decided to embark on a mission, to spend time with her little sister. She figured it wasn't fair, given how she used to play with many of the others when they were all younger, even before she started sewing. That combined with recent circumstances regarding each of them, it was for the best.

Upon entering the empty nursery, Leni plopped Lisa on the ground. She then scrounged the room for baby stuff, anything from a toy or a blanket or whatever.

"Hi Leni," she heard as the door creaked. Turning around, she saw her mother's head peeking through the gap, "Were you gonna play with Lisa?"

"Yup!" she chirped.

Rather than give a verbal answer, her mother simply smiled and shut the door. That was progress, indeed. She was starting to win her mother's admiration after all these years. Leni was excited at the prospect of finally giving that respected grown up a reason to be proud of her, to shine through all those silly mix ups that made up the better part of twelve and a half years.

"You'd finally be useful."

Going back to her search, she found a teddy bear lying on the floor. Picking it up, she pinched the furry surface, her hands sinking into the soft material. This was perfect. This bear would be Lisa's Bun Bun.

Leni eagerly lied down next to Lisa, who hadn't flinched in the whole time she was placed in that spot. She propped up the bear to stand beside her smiling face.

"This is a teddy bear," Leni said in her baby voice. It was slow, high pitched, and overly articulated. To drive the message home, she used one of her hands to poke in the bear's tummy, "It is soft and you hug it and you snuggle with it."

She proceeded to demonstrate each of those activities. The bear was literally Bun Bun as she squeezed it to the point where the fur and cotton were one with her body. She giggled a little as she imagined being a kid again, sleeping the night away with sugary dreams beside her precious bunny.

Lisa's face was stone cold.

"So?" Lisa asked tartly, "What's the point of this activity?"

The point? Was that really something that needed questioning? Still, Leni perked a chipper grin and held up the bear once more.

"Teddy bears are, like, fun. Totes fun even," she said, suddenly pointing a finger to the ceiling, "they make you happy and they're, like, cute and you cuddle with them."

Unable to resist the temptation, she embraced the stuffed animal once more. It was gonna be difficult to pass it on to Lisa. This particular bear was just that huggable.

"Reading is fun and it makes me happy. Why would I waste my time doing something like this when I could be studying Louis Pasteur's germ theory," Lisa said. Her voice was level, her eyes rigid, her frown carved in stone.

Leni was baffled. Sure she liked 16.5 magazine and that lovely Princess Pony fanfic she was reading. But germs? That was just gross and the farthest thing from fun. It was then she figured that she had a lot of work to do. She was gonna impart her wisdom onto her sister, actually help her get on the right path. Her parents' voices rang in her head, their worry, their fear that little Lisa wouldn't get what she needed. Well, that was what she was for.

"Okay, so, like, let's get started," Leni said with the teddy bear tucked in her arm. Although it required some concentration, she made sure to stare into Lisa's eyes as she spoke, "So Mommy told me that, like, you have this thing called autism."

"Asperger's Syndrome is the more specific diagnosis I received."

Her mother had never brought that up before. Was that really the more proper name for it? As if there weren't already enough to remember, the girl thought. Still, she tried to smile.

"Now you're lucky because I have it too and I know all about it. So don't be scared, because I'm here to, like, help you not be scared," she said happily.

Lisa, meanwhile was still frozen. Her eyes darted to other parts of the room, looking for an escape to her studies. Unfortunately, her big sister wouldn't let her leave.

"Now, the first thing you need to know is, like, you're different," Leni continued, "Mommy told me that I was special and that my brain just had a different way of, like, learning and thinking. Oh," she paused. Nervous, she leaned in until her nose was practically touchin Lisa's, "your brain is a weird mushy thingy you have in here," she then extended her index finger and nudged it against the baby's forehead, "you use it-"

"I know what a brain is," Lisa said coldly.

Leni's smile faltered. She could tell that her baby sister was frowning. None of it was working. Could it have been that she wasn't as cut out for this as she thought? It was a chilling thought, her not being able to help one of her own. If she couldn't do something like, then what type of "giver" would that have made her?

No, she told herself. Once Lisa heard all of her wisdom, she would turn around. That frown would be flipped if only she worked harder. She knew what had to come next.

"So, like, our brains," she said, throwing in a gesture to indicate the two of them, "are different. They are nothing like Mommy's or Daddy's or Lori's or Luna's or Luan's or Lynn's or Linky's or Lucy's or Lana's or like Lola's. And because of that, it can, like, feel weird, like no one knows you," she then stretched her lips and pulled her cheeks, "but I know you. Because we both ha-"

"This is the first time we've been alone together," Lisa observed. Still, no smile. In fact, now she was pinching the bridge of her nose,"What interactions have led you to believe that you even know my psychological composition?"

At first, Leni thought of all those times she saw Lisa mingling in the House. Her mother was always by the baby's side even as read some massive boring book that only really smart people read from. At dinner, she had seen little Lisa pick at her food with a fork. And there was that one time she tried kissing her (she wanted to forget about that). Big words aside, what was Lisa possibly talking about?

"Alone."

Oh. As Leni registered her sister's precise words, it all fell in place. With all those hours spent in her room creating new clothes for that fundraiser, there were only snippets of time left over for acquainting herself with the new arrival. She was right. The baby was trying to be right.

"But, like, you're like me. And once I tell you all about it, we'll, like, know each other even more," Leni said, her voice giving way to desperation. It required a breath. Or two.

"So, like," Leni started, "you'll sit around the House and not to play with anyone. You'll see Linky and the sisters playing with these things called toys," she then pulled the teddy bear from under her arm and pointed at it, "Toy," she said slowly, "You won't want to, like, play with them because you won't know how. You are confused with why these people are moving around with these things. But then they tell you this is how to play with it and then you'll be, like, 'This is so much fun. Now I want to play with you with this thing called a," she then slowed down and poked her finger into the bear's belly, "toy."

"I do know how to use those things, but I choose not to partake in such frivolous recreation because studying is signif-"

"Then you'll want to spend hours in your room doing absolutely nothing. You won't want to do anything other than see things. Those are called thoughts," she then tapped her finger against her temple, "Thoughts. But they are not real. You will think they are, but they are just something you make up. You can make up rainbows and ponies, clothes and cute lovers, smoothies and stuffed animals. And then you will think it's fun!"

"I get bored when I'm left to my imagination. You do realize I have knowledge of thou-"

Leni jumped up and started pacing around the room. By this point, it was like she were talking to herself while Lisa stared at the door. The grating sound soured her frown like a lemon.

"And then there are movies. You can see them and you might laugh because it's funny or cry because it's sad. But it's not real. When I was little, I saw this movie called Land Before Time and it had dinosaurs in it. Dinosaurs are these big creatures that lived many many many years ago, long before even Mommy came along. Some of them big and they roar and are scary," she then threw her arms out and gave her own impression of a T-Rex. She then froze and suddenly became concerned, "Sorry if I scared you. It's me, your sister Leni," she said, leaning in to her sister. She forgot to look her in the eye and still she continued, "And then there are tiny dinosaurs. Like, there was this really cute one named Ducky and she said 'Yup yup yup!'" she then propped up her arms and happily grinned.

"I know about dino-"

"Next, you'll want to make friends. Like, for Lori, making friends is super easy. She has people over here, like, all the time and she talks to them a lot. But for me, it's really hard. I, like, am with others when they are talking and I want to say something to them. But it's hard thinking of what you could say, you know," as she spoke, the image of those girls in the cafeteria popped in her head. Indeed, she still struggled to get past the phase of walking with them to and from lunch. But this wasn't about being worried. This was supposed to be a happy, helpful pep talk. And with that, she continued.

"You will, like, have a hard time too. But I want to tell you that you will have me to help you learn to talk to other babies your age. I may not have friends like Lori does, but I get better at talking to them every day and soon, I will have a friend too. If you work really hard and think of super nice things to say to others, then you can also make friends. And then you'll be happy!"

With a pause, she snapped her head back to Lisa. Her neck was down and most of her face was obscured by a pressed palm. No smile, she presumed.

"And speaking of being happy, it's okay to feel stuff!" Leni continued," You can be happy when something good happens, like if you finish making a new T-shirt to give to Linky on his birthday! You can also feel sad when something bad happens, like if you fall down and get hurt. But right now, I'm happy and I bet you are too," she said in her baby voice, even more high-pitched than she intended (probably from her open-mouthed smile). But now wasn't the time to hesitate. She was on a roll. There were so many points to hammer home that any pause would have halted her train of thought. This wasn't just happiness. This was exciting validation.

"When other people feel this way, they show it on their faces. They smile," she smiled, "they frown if they are mad," she tried to do that, but her smile was too big to chip away, "they cry when they are sad. But we have a hard time doing that same thing. Like, it is okay to do that. You can smile, you can cry, you can yell, you can do all sorts of stuff because it's how you feel. We all love you and we care for you and we wanna know how you feel. And nobody is ever gonna know if you're happy if you're not smiling. So smile!"

She stopped and she stretched the smile even more. The lips weren't enough. Leni rolled them back to reveal her teeth as well. It mus have been the biggest grin she ever made, even though not all of it was natural (she realized some of it had to be exaggerated to really get through to this baby.

"And then when you get a little older you will find out that you really like something. For me, that's making clothes," she then pinched a portion of her dress, "I make the stuff that people wear. Well, like, not what I'm wearing right now. That was passed down from...you know, I don't even know who had this dress before me. But I make them because I like it. You can like whatever you want, even though I think you'll like clothes too. You may not know it right now, but that's okay. You're only a baby. But with ti-"

"Shut up!" Lisa exclaimed.

The railroad ran out of tracks. Leni's voice deflated as it submitted to that nasty rebuttal. No one had ever told her to "shut up" (everyone she came across had more polite ways of getting her to yield). It was sharp.

And it was only then that she was moving slow enough to truly observe her audience. Lisa looked furious, glaring with the reddest face and intense contours upon her cheeks. She had definitely learned how to show she was mad.

"You haven't listened to a word I've said today, have you?" Lisa posed, her voice seething with contempt.

Leni was silent. Her body trembled as she had her Ducky arms up again, this time for a different reason. The wrong reason. To think this was the baby of the family talking to her, yelling at her. And yet, the baby was right. Those rash interruptions she made were starting to unleash their destructive wrath upon her conscience.

"If you stopped to pay attention, then you'll see that I am extraordinary compared to my peers! I'm the antithesis of those slobbering, stupid, primative newborns! And yet here you are lecturing me about how the world operates, not letting me get a word in. You assume that just because I have the physical characteristics of an infant that entitles you to patronize me like I'm one of them!"

Through the jungle of complex vocabulary, Leni pieced together a vague argument. Was it possible a baby of that age could relate to her in that way, far deeper than the basics that are taught by parents. How was it possible? Even now, this feeling was one she still couldn't put to words. Yet this young infant who was supposed to be like her pieced it together already. By this point, Leni's lips were quivering.

"But, like, I do know you," Leni said slowly. She mustered the courage to take a step forward, "we both ha-"

"That doesn't entitle you to condescend me or project your set of attributes onto me!" Lisa screamed, the red in her face intensifying and sweat accumulating on her cheeks, "I know I don't like fashion! It's a superficial aspect that speaks little of one's personality, not to mention a waste of money and time! Romance lacks purpose! It deducts energy from scientific discovery! And the only emotion I have come to exhibit is frustration from people that underestimate my abilities! Do you not care that I have acquired speech at the age of one month? Are you unfazed by the fact that I have thoroughly read most of the books in the House?"

Leni was a leaf knocked off by a gust. Much of her body was caving in on itself, making her smaller and smaller.

"B-but..." she made out. Her throat was constricting, threatening to choke her, "like, I just wanted to h-help you."

"Help?!" Lisa barked, clenching her fists, "I would have read three chapters of Pasteur's germ theory if I wasn't forced to listen to you drone on and on about yourself! I don't need help from anyone and especially not from you! If anything, you're holding me back!"

She couldn't take it anymore. Leni stretched her arms and staggered towards her fuming little sister.

"I'm sorry," she said, her voice cracking. All she needed was a hug, something to make the hurt go away. That's what always worked. People like hugs.

"Don't touch me! Haven't you learned anything?!" Lisa screamed. Pellets of spit shot from her mouth, splating on Leni's face.

The door flung open.

"What's going on in here?" Rita asked, anger and concern mixed into a questioning tone.

"Dawdling!" Lisa exclaimed, rising up on her small legs, "Lazy people trying to make me just like them! This sibling unit," she pointed to Leni, who was on her knees, "has wasted my time teaching me nothing! Hearing her go on and on is so grating, it's no wonder she doesn't have friends!"

Was it really that obvious? It was like that voice again, that spirit that would linger and say stuff like that. But those weren't the spectre's words, unlike the cacophony of insults that now swirled in the battleground known as her mind. The sounds of sharp orders and stomping were incoherent echoes at this point. Leni was now a prisoner in her bubble, regretting how easy it was to get lost in there. Her chest, her arms, her aching legs yearned to be in her cushy bed where they could sprawl out and maybe alleviate some of this tremendous weight. But they were too weak to move; all the energy was up here.

Steps. What type of friend views other people as stairs to some higher place? What's the point of being in that higher place when there's no one to talk to, no one to confide in? This whole ride, this whole imagery of being some big savior, was not legitimate. It was now, at the bottom of the staircase, that she hit striking revelation. This whole "ascent" was just an escape from that dark pit where the voice lures. She pulled those nice, more deserving students at Bartholomew's Helpers down just so pathetic little her could feel better. And that baby, the one she was foolish enough to believe had things to learn, was far more noble than she. Lisa wasn't afraid to smell wrongdoing, delusion. It was through those big words and that angry face of her's that finally knocked some sense into her, the older, "nicer" sister.

"So much for being a helper."

Leni looked up and saw that both her mother and Lisa were gone, the door just hanging open. Seeing an opening, she rubbed her moist eyes and straddled herself down the hall and into her room and onto her bed. Her limbs became jello and her face planted into her pillow, allowing cushy darkness to consume her vision. She didn't see if Lori was there and at that moment, she didn't care.

That baby was right about her. She was selfish, a loudmouth, bitter, and disgusting. Why did her mother bother to save her? What good was gonna come out of sparing her feelings, preserving a refuge from that righteous voice that was strangling her to gain some much deserved attention. That's why those "popular" girls weren't asking her for her opinion. She'd go on some dull tangent that would cause even the most patient person to snap.

"Leni," she heard her mother say.

She was too tired to look up. The last thing Leni wanted was to give her mother a face that would force her to feel sympathy. No, feel sorry for her. After putting up with noise, driving, and indulging, pity was the last thing her mother needed to give.

"Lisa has something to tell you," she continued softly. Still, all Leni could see was the foreboding darkness.

"I'm sorry for talking to you. I...didn't know it would hurt your feelings," she heard Lisa say begrudgingly, "I'll try to not be so rude to you in the future."

"Great...must be really proud of yourself now."

Now, even the crusader had to bow down just for her. With a mind like that, she could become a doctor or a very important person capable of solving all the world's problem. Anything from solving world hunger to inventing the time machine were all in her baby sister's grasp. And yet, her own selfishness was a dangerous magnet, sucking away that brilliance and instilling it with wasteful pity. How bitter it tasted. How it destroyed nature's beautiful gems.

No voices spoke out again. She didn't even get up from her pillow, lest she continue her path of destruction.

The bell rang, the cue for the kids in class to rush to lunch. Leni knew what she had to do.

Stepping outside the classroom, she leaned against the wall and observed the wave of students roll past her. There was no delay or difficult in getting those conversations started (not even the sea of incoherent noise). Yet she remained quiet. She had her finite amount of energy reserved for them. She was finally gonna start getting involved with that group of five (soon to be six). When they brought up clothes (or anything for that matter), she was gonna find something to say. A question, a comment, a compliment for their generosity.

"Good luck, you..."

The five familiar faces approached. Even in a crowd like this, their appearances were like real diamonds at the jewelry store. Sure enough, she could tell they were talking again by their moving lips. Today was the day. Her followed as they passed by (never noticing her) before she latched onto them from the back.

Their words were impossible to make out from the crowd. Any insight was garbled from other people letting their's bounce against the narrow hallway. How anyone could discern sense from this buzzing was a genuine puzzle.

Once they entered the cafeteria, the swarm stretched and expanded outward. People nudged and bumped against each other as they raced to get their food or secure their seats. Leni was caught in this crossfire, her own clumsy movement too slow for the lively and boisterous groups proceeding. Since she knew where the "popular" girls sat, she devised a plan to wait it out. She wanted to yield to the mob (be polite) before freely walking to join them at their predetermined spot.

But plans, as usual, didn't work out.

The wave's inertia shifted her from her foundation, nudging her towards the other side of the cafeteria even as others go on ahead without her. Leni didn't speak up, lest she compromise her politeness as well (after all that had happened, she needed something to retain).

By the time everyone cleared out, she stood alone in a foreign region of the space. She gazed around trying to reorient herself. She peered at some of the different folks sitting at their tables. Many of them were crowded by kids, cliques that were well acquainted (and probably not even interested in clothes).

Yet her eyes, in their search for the "popular" girls, got hung up. In a nearby corner, there was a large emptiness at one of the tables stashed against the wall. Well, mostly empty. There was a single girl sitting there by herself.

Leni hadn't recalled seeing this girl before. She looked nothing like the Carol or Lori or any of the "popular" girls. She wore a tight black T-shirt on her plump frame and she adorned a long messy braid to sculpt her curly light brown hair. The girl picked at her food, trying to eat it as slowly as possible and making as little noise as possible.

Leni moved, placing one foot in front of the other towards that desolate table. The mysterious girl never looked up from her lunch tray. That changed once she was directly in front of her. She looked up to reveal her wide, nervous eyes.

"You better smile."

Leni perked up an exceptionally wide grin as she stood before this quiet person. And, with a confident breath, the Loud spoke up.

"Hi, I'm Leni!"