Lightman stared into space for some seconds that seemed like an eternity, then stood up and walked towards his best friend's office. He stopped in front of the glass doors just watching her. He has never been able to read her, but this time her emotions were too strong. She raised her head up noticing him looking at her with fear, concern, doubts and love all together. Her breath became heavy, she knew Torres must have talked to him.
"What are you doing, luv?" He said entering and sitting down on one of the chairs, wearing back his mask.
"I know you are not here just for a simple talk, so let's go to the point. What do want?" She was never rude or something, but she really couldn't stand him reading her this time, trying to find out what was going on.
He took a deep breath, looked away for a moment and then back to her. She was staring at everything except for him.
"Look at me, Gill." He knew how much she loved him calling her 'Gill' and, except from the moments it just popped out, he called her like this to melt her a bit in tense situations. She slowly moved her eyes to him, but with her head still turned to what she was staring at. "What's the matter? And do not say that you're okay, because I know it's not true. So, what happens, love?"
She kept her eyes at him and then directed them down at her hands. Maybe it was time to tell him everything, to let him help her because she desperately needed it, but again, the thought of the conceguences stopped her. "Can't someone have a bad day and do not want to talk about it?"
"Come on Gillian, don't lie to me! It's years that we work together and you really think that I'll not see that somethin' serious is happenin'? It's not just a bad day and you know it better than me!" He barely screamed.
"Can you please stop yelling and treating me like a suspected!" She closed her eyes and turned her back to him, covering her head with her hands, starting sobbing. Lightman closed his eyes too, taking one more time a deep breath and came closer to her. He stroke her back gently and then softly spoke. "I'm sorry luv, I didn't want to scream. It's just that I'm really worried Gill. I hate it when you suffer and I become crazy." She wiped her tears and faced him.
"I know and I appreciate that, but sometimes I have my secrets too.." He just looked at her the way he always did when he studied someone deeply, eyes glued on hers and his lips narrowed. His hand tucked her hair behind her ear, stroking her arm eventually. He could not notice the pain expression when he did it, even if she tried to hide it. He remembered what Torres told him and wondered if there were for real some bruises on her skin.
They were so close that they could both feel the other one breathing.
"I know Gillian and I don't want to be officious or cross the line, but I just can't see this ache on you and not doin' anythin'." More tears came down from her eyes and his thumb wiped them away. "Why don't you tell me the real reason why you came late today, love?"
"I can't Cal, I truly can't!" She cried even more, putting her head on his shoulder. His arms went around her stroking her hair. He wanted to make her weak so she would tell him everything.
"Why not Gill? You know I'm not gonna judge you..."
"It's not that!" She said breaking their hug. Her cardigan fell down a bit and showed some of her shoulder, where he noticed a bruise.
"What have you done here, love?" He asked putting softly his hand there.
"Nothing." All the signs of lying were notables and she bit the inner of her cheek, to soffocate an emotion.
"Gill, please.."
"Believe me Cal, it's best for everyone if you just leave me alone. For me me, for you, for Em..." She was about to say something but didn't finisched it. "For everyone."
"You were not gonna say 'everyone'...you were sayin' something else...somebody else...a specific name." His eyes scruting her always more. He could tell she became nervous. She just kept looking down swallowing, a sign of a strong feeling. "You were going to say Emily, didn't you?" His gaze all over he face, so he wouldn't miss anything. She just sighed turning her head to the other side, still not looking into his eyes. "Why is my daughter involved?"
"Listen, she is okay but if you really love her or love me please, just leave and let go. I'm fine." She finally looked into his eyes, but he didn't want get this over with. "Please Cal, I'm serious."
He didn't want to let go, and for sure won't have to, but he saw she truly needed to be left alone this time, at least for all the day. "Fine, luv. But if you need somethin', call me, okay?" She nodded, he gave her a chaste kiss on the cheek and left.