It was one of those days. Leni couldn't tell when they came, so they caught her off guard.

April 23 was when it started. What was meant to be a joyous celebration of Lori's birthday descended into a dark depressing pit. She spent countless amounts of time sunk in her bed (the birthday girl had to cover for her). Leni thought that was the worst of it, that everything was gonna go back to normal. At first, that was what it seemed like.

But here she was in July, reliving this horrible feeling.

Lori was out with one of her friends and everyone else was simply going about their day, working through their fulfilling lives. And then there was herself, lying in bed staring at the ceiling, passively tolerating the mattress, thinking through each of her breaths.

There was so much she could be doing. Helen could enjoy some company, the fabric and thread wouldn't mind being fused into a lovely skirt, or some fan could be inspired by a new post on the Princess Pony forum. But those were nothing more than distant fantasies, the "what ifs" that were condemned by the brunt of laziness. Leni was tired.

Why couldn't she do anything? Leni had some theories.

She turned to her nightstand, laying her eyes on its innocent wooden shape. It was a relief that Lori didn't raid it, even though she herself hadn't always reciprocated that courtesy. With no watching eyes in that moment, Leni shifted her body into a sitting position and slid open the drawer. She knew exactly what was in there, every detail memorized from years of continually placing the contents in the same location. After surgically removing the appropriate puzzle pieces, she pulled out a paper.

It was one of those days, indeed. Leni couldn't help but revisit this document when her mood was stalled in a murky abyss. Her eyes couldn't help but read each word, process each detail. Even after fourteen years, Leni's death certificate remained in tact, allowing the black letters to jab those who read them.

Leni before Leni. She didn't think about her second older sister all the time, however she never completely vanished. She always lurked somewhere in the tangled cobweb known as her mind. On times like that day, though, she broke through the soft strands and pulled herself into the forefront of Leni's focus.

There was no way Leni would have turned out the same way. She wouldn't have needed special services with basic life functions. She would have had as many friends as Lori, leaving her big sister with little need to resent her. She wouldn't have become obsessed with silly kids shows or poured her energy into a useless field like fashion. She would have spoken clearly and had perfect mobility. This Leni wouldn't have turned out such a disappointment, leaving the "what if" to the confines of a miserable mind. This Leni wouldn't have sat on her bed and talked to herself. This Leni would have taken life by the horns (even though she didn't have a bull).

A single great destiny was tarnished and sealed by a single solitary piece of paper. The ink letters were nails in the coffin, trapping its inspirational features to the dark box of oblivion. Now, she remained.

Ever since the day she found out, there were times where she questioned her own name. Maybe all of this was just a cruel coincidence, a telling sign of her parents' confusing sense of humor. Then again, those fourteen year old words didn't sound dated. The sorrow presented in those entries of the turquoise journal had been preserved like a prehistoric bug trapped in amber. Once that book was opened, all of that raw emotion flowed out, spreading its residue across her heart.

At this point, Leni had realized the truth. Connected to this whole tragedy and that substance behind her hollow reassurances was humiliation. Contempt. Leni concluded that all this time of her wading through life with a pair of hazy eyes had been destructive, chipping away at her parents' resolve day after day.

"It's not your fault."

"Then who's is it?" Leni asked herself, "Not Mom and Dad. Never them!"

Spreading the blame was a pointless exercise. A million excuses could have been flung at some well-intentioned innocent, but the truth always won out. Mom and Dad were generous enough to give her and (most of) her siblings life. The doctors did everything they could to save Leni. Maddy, Mrs. Boxer, and Mrs. Lane were all patient women that swallowed their grievances to do their jobs. Jake and Billy had enough to worry about. Her siblings were perfect in every way (even Lisa). And Helen? She was precious, an entire world by herself.

Besides, all of it was just trying to shift responsibility away from who really deserved. And the way Leni saw it, it belonged to the one that couldn't take the hint, the one who forced themselves onto others, couldn't leave a decent or credible impression on even the most accepting audience, and failed to even become renown in the one thing they spent time on.

Leni didn't like crying. She wasn't inclined to do it very much and when she did, she became guilty from all the attention it brought. Instead, her face was dead as it usually was. The one part of her that had physical pain were the eyes. They grew heavy when she felt like that, as if they were trying to fall and whisk her off to a different place. Maybe it was a dream where all her favorite things dominated, whether it was Rosy Cake or Helen or even Linky. All this silliness went away and was replaced by the wonder that used to thrive in her foggy childhood. An invisible mist would have been there to hide that voice, those critical forces, and the overbearing weight of responsibility.

But here she was dealing with the uphill battle that awaited her. She recognized now that the blissful ignorance was gone, replaced by a mind trapped in a thick bubble. People only made out the miscommunications, the stumbles, the mistakes they assumed she wouldn't notice. And because Leni "can't see them", they quietly grumble to themselves as they picked up the weight.

It was tiring. She wanted the suffering to end, for her to start doing her fair share. Leni was weary of being a worthless burden and she wanted to rise up.

She knew that was her mission. And the first person she was gonna relieve was Mrs. Lane. The teacher, sweet and gentle as she was, deserved better than to be condemned by putting up with her slow reaction and even slower learning. The only shame was that her test wasn't for a while.

"Then you have to knock it off even more, you big loser!"

Nodding her head, Leni felt a little better. Perhaps now that she reminded herself of her duty once again, there was hope. There was a chance that someday, she would finally become something that wasn't just written off as a sad regret.

The door clicked. Her eyes snapped open. There was no way Lori could have already been home. She was so absent, she didn't even hear the front door open. Silly her. Well, there was very little time to act. Seeing the paper was still in her hand, she stuffed it in the drawer and slammed it shut. Hopefully, the bang was inaudible.

As she quickly turned to the door, she saw who it was emerging. It was Luan.

"Oh hey, Leni," she said, smiling. Luan then scanned the room, twisting her head back and forth, "Have you seen Lori anywhere?"

"No," Leni replied softly.

"Okey dokey," Luan said, "well if you see her around, tell her I need her to test out a new pun routine. It's g-Lori-ous!"

Luan burst into laughter as she closed the door. Even through the walls, Leni could make out the comedianne continuing to chuckle at her own joke.

Leni sighed.

"This is gonna be a lot tougher than I thought."

Eighth grade was promising. The tables, teachers, halls, and lockers were now familiar sights, elements that made up a comfortable background. Since that issue was now resolved, Leni found time to focus on the more important matters, Helen.

Lunch time had become her favorite period in the school day. There were no grades, none of the classmates carried menacing expectations, and nothing was confusing or difficult to understand. But most of all, Leni had her friend Helen to hang out with. It was a shame that none of them had any classes together, so every minute lost waiting in line for food or shuffling through faceless crowds was a precious gem never to be recovered. Leni even insisted on her Dad making her a bagged lunch so that she could maximize her bonding time. While he fulfilled that request most days, Lynn Sr. was unavailable to deliver on this occasion; he had to leave early that morning for work.

Without a lunch already ready, Leni was left to stand in line. Unfortunately, Helen was far off alone, already eating her pre packed meal. As she grumbled at the inconvenience, Leni tried her best to keep her focus forward. After all, the less she talked to herself, the faster the clock would move. Not only that, but she would have been in a good mood by the time she reached her companion.

It was boring, though, to just stand there waiting for the kids to slowly file into the a la carte station. Leni became increasingly disappointed by how much time was being lost, as if this crowd were doing nothing more than keeping her away from Helen. What if Helen thought she were ditching her? Leni would have been deemed a bad friend, which would have been a dagger to her already racing heart.

Leni swayed back and forth as that terrible thought persisted. Her mind produced an image of a furious Helen with eyes of cold steel and a frown sharp enough to kill. Leni heard that sweet voice mutate into a hateful tirade, every point in her valid argument banging against the inside of her skull. It was a scene that played over and over again, causing her movement to increase. She wanted to move, to get out of this mess, to make things right.

Her eyes wandered helplessly. It wasn't her choosing, however they were moving all on their own, swirling around and capturing all the forms the cafeteria made up. There was some diversity among the bunch, mostly through colors. There were plenty of Crimson reds, dark blues, emerald greens, lavender, light browns.

As her mind caught up, she forced herself to stop. After some much needed coordination, she reset herself to one sight that her eyes had carelessly skimmed over. There was a familiar lavender dress attached to a familiar batch of long dark brown hair. And that girl was on an island in the middle of the otherwise crowded table.

Leni's mind was now completely transfixed. She knew those clothes. She had made that exact set not too long ago for a very special recipient. Now it was time for her to play big sister and investigate.

She walked right out of the frozen mass and made her away around the long food troughs called tables. Isolated conversations fazed in and faded out through distance and interference from another group's call to be heard. Leni, though, focused on that one specific point she knew she had to reach. She was gonna make it there one way or another.

It wasn't hard at all, not even for someone like her. As she had worried, it turned out to be that precise lavender shirt and purple skirt she had crafted from scratch. Memories of her working on it from her sewing machine came flying back. She knew those clothes, apparently better than the one wearing them.

"Luna?"

For all the excitement she had at the prospect, Leni hadn't seen her sister around the school since starting the year. It felt like Lori was still there, given how infrequently they crossed paths during the day.

The girl peered over, revealing her desolate face. It was an uncomfortably familiar sight for Leni, too familiar.

"Oh hi, Leni," she murmured, her body and voice devoid of energy. The only thing she had beside her was a green apple with a single tiny bite in it.

From the painfully obvious gap surrounding Luna, Leni put the pieces together. Those days of elementary school where they sat together for lunch reared their heads after an unmentionable slumber in an obscure corner of her mind. With it came a new answer to a question she didn't realize she had asked.

Luna was a good girl and an even better sister. She possessed the ability to recognize the need to have friends and she also had the right to emote when something didn't go her way. All Leni was left with was the duty to accept that distinction. She had to act like Lori would.

"Do you, like, wanna sit with me and Helen?" Leni asked.

"Sure."

It was no difficulty getting out of that seat. Leni paid attention to her sister's face as she moved. Luna looked a little better from hearing that offer, however her eyes remained under a blanket of distress. The walk over was quiet. Leni had too much to process to perform the act of opening her mouth. There were so many questions to ask. What had become of Luna in the one year they were separated? The image of her little sister eating lunch alone every day for months, occasionally looking at all the others socializing and having fun. And even in the time since Luna entered Junior High away from her big sister's awareness. Leni couldn't forgive herself for the pain she had caused.

Reaching that special corner of the cafeteria, Helen was already perched in her seat. She eagerly perked her head up as she saw Leni approach.

"Hi Leni," she said, her voice barely restraining her excitement. And that smile was simply contagious.

"Hi," she replied, "Sorry I'm late. I got caught up in line waiting for food," she then turned to her guest, "and then I ran into my little sister!"

"Hello," Luna said, extending her arm and stretching her palm, "I'm Luna and you are..."

"Helen."

So far, all the signs were good. Everyone was smiling, no one appeared uncomfortable. Leni, though, was especially transfixed on Luna, the one that needed immediate reparations. In the short time she had been introduced to her friend, her sister had noticedly relaxed, her shoulders lowered and her hands gentle.

"So, like, I was thinking about you, Luna. And, like, I was wondering if you would like to sit with us," Leni said eagerly, "you can be a part of our, you know, group."

Luna appeared confused. Her eyes shifted between her sister and Helen. Leni, meanwhile, kept switching between Luna's face and the apple she had. Was that really the only thing her little sister was?

"I dunno. I mean, would Helen like it?" Luna said tensely. She didn't look comfortable within her own body, let alone that outfit Leni had made for her.

"I like you. And if Leni is your sister, then you're a friend of mine," Helen said assuredly. Leni noticed that her friend's face was full of life, driving the situation in everyone's favor. To think that this was the same girl that nervously said one word replies to her just months ago. There was a tingly feeling she got as she tried grappling with the idea that maybe, despite all her own shortcomings, she had helped Helen out. It was weird.

Luna, though, was grinning. It was the first time in a while where Leni saw her smile like that, out of true sincerity. Sure there were times where she hacked up a chuckle when she was surrounded by the others, but this was her all on her own. There was something unique with Luna when she was picked out of the bigger crowd.

The sisters sat next to each, opposite Helen. Luna took a bite out of her apple as she made eye contact with her new friend.

"So..." Leni said, stretching out her vocal chords, trying to not let Luna's chewing outlast the sound. Eventually, Luna swallowed. The perfect opportunity, "how about we get to know each other? Isn't that what friends, like, do?"

"Okay," Helen said, "So Luna, do you wanna tell me about yourself? What do you like?"

As she spoke, Luna took another bite and was still chewing. Granted, Leni was taught that it was rude to talk with your mouth full (and if she knew it, that meant everyone else knew it too). But the pause was unsettling. She and Helen stared at Luna while she slowly mashed the food in her mouth while her eyes opted to veer off in the distance. That wasn't the Luna Leni knew. Why was she being so shy?

Even after swallowing, her sister took some time to compose herself. Finally, she peered down at her shirt.

"My favorite color is purple," Luna said, her neck still lowered.

"I made that shirt," Leni told Helen. She couldn't help it. When clothes entered the equation, she came to life much like Helen had. And admittedly, it was a work she was proud of. A plain lavender polo a long violet skirt were all crafted by her. Meanwhile, the white ankle socks and Mary Jane shoes all came from the attic. The outfit was simple, yet cute (was the intention). She hoped the polo's light shade would compliment Luna's long dark brown hair and make her stand out. There was no need for crop tops, white jeans, or designer shoes when Luna was so beautiful on her own.

"Yeah," Luna said, still looking at the shirt, "my sister can really work a sewing machine."

So why was she sitting by herself? Leni tried to formulate some answers to that question as she spoke.

"Aww," Leni said, "enough about me! Luna, why don't you talk about the stuff you like. Like, do you watch Mystery Woods?"

"No," Luna replied.

"It's, like, the best show ever!" Leni exclaimed, glancing at Helen. Her friend was smiling and from what she could feel, Leni thought she was smiling herself. With two people looking so happy, some of it had to rub off on Luna. It just had to.

"What is it about?" Luna asked as she took another bite.

Leni turned to Helen. Yes, she had been shown every episode and she loved it. But she still felt this need to pass it on to the original fan. Besides, it would give Helen a chance to come to life.

"Where do I start?" Helen said, her smile widening. Leni mainly focused on her as she presented the pitch. As she spoke, Helen's arms emerged from under the table and moved around, emphasizing points she decided needed so. Her eyes were glowing brighter than the lights in the room. Her voice boomed, supported by solid concrete, and evoked a fire that made those fluorescent lights little more than cheap candles. And even though her mouth was moving, her lips were immaculately shaped. Rosy Coke would be proud.

It was only after Helen finished that Leni faced Luna. She was still chewing. The two friends eagerly waited for Luna to down the morsel before speaking.

"That's pretty cool," Luna said, chill, "I'll have to check it out some time."

"Yay!" Leni said, wrapping her arm around her little sister. As she leaned in closer to her, she heard some giggling. It was sincere. Luna was finally happy. All thanks to...her?

She would take it. With all that was happening, Leni yearned to take credit for something, as if it were a yummy scrap of peanut butter at the bottom of the jar.

"Say Helen," she heard Luna say, her voice now full of energy, "Have you heard of Dream Boat?"

With her chest resting on her sister's shoulder, Leni turned to Helen and caught her shaking her head. Suddenly, her mind cleared up and anticipated a circus.

"Well sit back," Luna said slyly, "because it's quite the ride!"

Saturday lunch was an interesting experience. Most of the Louds were present and accounted for, chatting and eating. Leni was too busy chewing away at her simple turkey sandwich to start up any form of conversation. It was a good thing her Dad was at the head of the table, leading the charge.

"You know, kids, the funniest thing happened to me this morning," Lynn Sr. said, throwing up his hands, "so I was driving to the store when the radio started playing the Beatles. Now I know that you're all a little young, but when I was your age their music was everything to me."

The obscure references to the "good ol' days" quickly drew Leni out of it. She had little interest in rock and roll (not that it was anything against her dad).

She preferred to focus on her sandwich and what was on her mind. Earlier that morning, she was texting Helen about her plans for the next clothes sale. Lately, Leni had been thinking a lot about her Fashion Club. Soon, she was gonna graduate from Junior High, leaving it to the mercy of the next generation.

On one hand, membership had grown this year (now there were close to thirty members). They all seemed pretty excited to talk about fashion and work towards this fundraiser. But on the other hand, she couldn't help but worry about what was gonna become of the group once its founder left. She had little place to judge any of their commitment (she should have been grateful they even bothered to show up). Those kids at Bartholomew's Helpers still needed help and Leni wanted the clothes sale to continue for them. They deserved it.

The only downside was that Leni couldn't convince Helen to join. Her friend, while sharing most of her interests, knew little about fashion trends or sewing. Maybe someday she would give it a try, however until then Leni told herself she had to be proud that Helen even supported her (she even agreed to give money to the sale once it was up and running).

"I'm back."

Leni snapped her head up and saw Lori entering the dining room carrying a purple sweater bunched up in her hand. By then, she had practically finished her sandwich. With the timing perfect, Leni figured she could slip out to talk to Lori. Knowing her dad, he wouldn't mind a little sister bonding.

Discreetly slipping out of her seat, Leni maneuvered herself into the kitchen. Lori was digging through the cabinets, trying to fish for a snack.

"How was your morning?" Leni asked.

Lori jumped. Every part of her body jolted as those sound waves traversed into her ears, much like a splash of cold water in the middle of the night.

"Leni! You literally scared me!" Lori exclaimed as she planted her hands on the counter.

"Sorry," Leni said regretfully. She thought her big sister saw her coming, foolish of her to think that. But then, her eyes became transfixed on the purple sweater. It was a nice shade, something that went really well with a vibrant yellow (just like Lori's hair), "So what's that you got there?"

As she exhaled, Lori lifted the article she had in her fist, the fabric still in soft bunches. Now that it was in a clearer light, Leni also detected how nice the fabric must have felt. Lori was gonna be so comfy when she put that thing on.

"Carol's sister gave this to me as a souvenir," Lori said, now relaxed. She then raised her head and faced Leni, "wanna take a look?"

Leni nodded and reached her hands out. Her fingers quickly became enveloped by the fuzzy fabric. Indeed, it was even softer than it looked. She felt like she was holding a blanket, perfect for a winter day. Not only that, but that violet shade was so rich, the color popped out of its material confines. Curious to examine more details, she unfurled it and held it out, allowing her to see the entire front.

"Northwestern University," Leni read. The name was printed in large white letters across the top.

"That's the school she goes to. She's very smart," Lori said.

Smart. University. Those two words connected in her mind, like a small wooden bridge between two identical islands. Leni hadn't thought too much about college, given the challenges Junior High brought on its own. Now that it gripped her attention, she was compelled to learn more.

"Where is it?" Leni asked.

"Outside Chicago."

"Chicago?" Leni said. Suddenly, sparks flew as some cogs got jammed. As much as they pulled, trying to get through, they were thoroughly stuck. And right at the wrong moment, "that's not in the northwest. Shouldn't it be in, like, Seattle or something?"

"Well," Lori said, her voice unusually gentle. Leni lowered the shirt and saw her big sister even stretching out her lips, as if trying to sound high pitched, "you may not believe me, but there was a time when America didn't have Seattle or California or those big states out in the west. There was actually a time when the land around Chicago was the northwestern corner of our country."

"I know," Leni blurted out defensively.

She was taking US History this year and specifically recalled the unit where Mrs. Lowell discussed the Louisiana Purchase. There was a big map of the United States color-coded to show when different swaths of land were added. Indeed, Mrs. Lowell explained that Illinois (along with her home state of Michigan) was a part of the country when it gained its independence. Sure, it wasn't called Illinois nor was it even a state (neither was Michigan). Mrs. Lowell had explained that part was called the Northwestern Territory at the time.

Suddenly, her eyes widened. Having parsed her memory, she realized the connection (Northwest and Chicago). She couldn't believe she didn't know it off the top of her head. Leni had made herself look like a fool, regardless of what was in her brain. She gazed at Lori, whose face was surprisingly still despite the explosive blunder.

"Anyway, she loves it over there. Carol was thinking of applying to Northwestern when she becomes a senior. And heck, I'm even thinking of someplace in the Chicago area," Lori said.

No scolding, no insulting. Nothing. If colleges used character as their primary criteria, Lori would have gotten into Harvard by now.

"I think that would be cute," Leni said, handing the sweater back to Lori, "you and Carol, like, both walking around the same college and being like 'This is my best friend from high school'."

Leni tried smiling, to move past the issue. For an instant, she had convinced herself that tactic had worked. Lori, though, didn't change her expression. It was like a joke that had failed to land (did Luan feel that uncomfortable when this happened?)

"There's no way I can get into Northwestern. My grades aren't good enough," Lori said simply. And yet, despite that resignation in her voice, her face looked just fine. Leni was forced to wonder what was going on in her big sister's head. She was horrified by the possibility of her making it awkward, or worse, accidentally making Lori feel bad. That was unforgiveable.

"I'm sorry," Leni said softly, her head drooping.

"Sorry? For what?" Lori asked. Only then did her expression change. And it sure wasn't a smile. Leni sighed as she came to terms with what she had done.

"I didn't want you to, like, feel..." as she held her mouth open, she asked herself the big question. Was she really gonna say it? Once it was out, there was no turning back. As if she hadn't already done enough damage, "dumb."

It was out there. A daring accusation. Leni couldn't help but keep staring at the floor. She felt too much like a coward to face the reality, the monstrous atrocity she had just committed. So much for being the "nice" one. At this point, she was much more like the mean one, the "dumb" one.

Lori giggled. It was soft and was a vibration of her typical voice. Leni couldn't discern what it meant, whether it was hearty or sinister or sarcastic. And that only made her shrink, even while standing.

"Oh Leni, I don't even wanna go to Northwestern," Lori said between chuckles. Leni, though, remained focused on the tile, hoping that would provide enough solace from the storm she was expecting, "I don't care about getting straight A's or being the best. I mean, those people literally have no lives. 'No thank you. I already got friends.'"

She finally had the courage to peer up to examine the damage. Bright eyes, loose cheeks, full color, arms stretched and palms open. Leni raised her back, trying her best to convince herself these were signs that her sister was alright.

"It would be nice to go to Chicago for college," Lori said, her body emanating calmness, "and there's gotta be at least one school there that takes me," she glanced at the sweater, squishing it in her hand. Leni wondered if that was a moment of doubt, one where Lori suddenly felt bad for herself, however she snapped her head up just as quickly, "But hey! I still got another two and a half years before I have to worry about that. It's just cool seeing Carol's sister off doing that type of thing."

To her surprise, Lori moved, making her way towards the living room. Leni's mind was hungry, yearning for more details. She wanted her big sister to tell her more about the future, dreams, and ambitions. The image of a fancy school clung to her, pushing aside every other consideration at that moment. Instead, she was left with a void as Lori went up the stairs.

Leni stood idly in the kitchen, processing all that information. College was an obscure figment, a far off place. Even for Lori, it was something that was coming eventually. And then there was herself? Lori was pretty smart, yet there were ones even she couldn't get into. Knowing this, Leni didn't even wanna think about how most of them would treat her.

Yet again, colleges were smart and they knew everything. They had the right to judge her, to dictate whether she was good enough. Was she good enough?

"..." she thought as she looked into the kitchen, seeing her amazing family enjoying their lunch. Only time would tell if they would drop those smiles and lay it straight to her.

Leni's feet felt like boulders as she left her English class. She didn't want to think about the mass of students pouring out the narrow door into an ocean of bodies. She should have been going to history next, to be greeted by more isolated groups of people living in their separate worlds (ignorant of whatever petty concerns she fretted over).

However she knew what needed to be done.

With bated breath, she briskly moved through the halls and took advantage of every opening she could find. As she slip through the narrow channels, she couldn't stop thinking of this overwhelming obligation.

This right here was her future. If she slipped up even once, it was all gonna be over. Mrs. Lane was gonna be disappointed. But it wasn't just limited to that tiny white room. Everyone, beneath their deflated spirits, would have lamented that they should have known better than to put their hope in a black hole. Leni, they assumed, was incapable of improving even when she was being spoonfed.

Well, she wasn't gonna let that happen.

She eased her way through that door and her eyes quickly soaked in the purity of those blank white walls. The table only had two chairs surrounding it and Mrs. Lane was already seated. On the surface was a series of neatly stacked papers, boxes, and pencils.

"Good morning, Leni," she said, smiling, "How are you feeling?"

"Fine."

Leni silently took her seat and made it her goal to maintain eye contact. That was the first part of the test, even if Mrs. Lane didn't say it aloud.

"That's wonderful," Mrs. Lane said as she compiled her papers and slipped the top one across the table. As Leni processed it's details, the teacher continued, "this test shouldn't be too hard. I believe in you."

"Thanks," Leni said, swallowing the fact that she was too busy having her eyes on the paper. Was that worth a red mark? Sure Mrs. Lane was the one who handed out, but that was no excuse to look away. This was gonna be harder than she thought.

"So on the first page, there's a bunch of triangular patterns. And here are a box full of colored blocks," Mrs. Lane explained. Sure enough, she lifted the lid off the blank white box, revealing the wooden pieces. As Leni internalized their paint coats, the teacher continued, "Starting with number one, you're gonna use the blocks to create the pattern on the paper," a pause, "The black triangles stand for the black blocks, so keep that in mind."

"Okay," Leni answered as she took out a black block and held it up. Even with the paint, she could see the parallel lines that ran cleanly along the side. It was a decent paint job.

"Now let's do number one."

Hearing this instruction, Leni leaned in to see the diagrams for the respective problem. It was two squares made from two triangles each (and two of each color). Leni quickly grabbed four triangles and assembled the configuration. The one thing that required effort was polishing (aligning the triangles and leaving plenty of separation between each square). Once she finished, she leaned back to present her work.

"Very good," Mrs. Lane said smiling. Leni took that as a good sign. Maybe it was an indication that silly mistake of no eye contact would have been overlooked, "Now do the next one."

This arrangement was a little more complex. It was two squares connected to each and two triangles a top each square. Leni took one of the squares she already made and carefully slid it to the other, mindful of protecting the alignment. Once they formed into a perfect rectangle, she reached both her hands into the box and pulled a triangle out in each hand. She lifted them by pinching their tips, allowing their masses to dangle above the table. Finally, she lowered them into their respective spots along the top of the rectangle. Now with her work done, Leni pulled back to see the finished product. It looked like a cute little house that some imaginary people could live in. A nice, simple, happy life in a block house.

"Great job!" Mrs. Lane said upon examining the configuration. Perhaps through all this, there was a chance for her after all.

Leni breezed through the rest of the diagrams, each one growing in complexity. Although there were a few moments where she had to stop and think (long enough for Mrs. Lane to notice), Leni finished each problem without mistake. She occasionally peered up at her teacher, gauging her expression. Although there was the small smile that popped up when she finished, during the problem itself that face of her's was blank. It was as if Mrs. Lane were trying to trick her by hiding her true feelings. Still, Leni pressed on undeterred.

"Now, I'm gonna tell you about some people you're talking to and I want you to tell me what you would do," Mrs. Lane described as she lifted a paper from the desk and held it near her face.

Leni nodded.

"So let's say that you walk in the room and you see two people laughing. What could you say to them?"

"Well," Leni said. It wasn't that she struggled with the problem (Luan came to mind), however she couldn't help but drift that eye contact towards the white board behind Mrs. Lane, "I could go up to them and, like, ask what's so funny."

"Very good."

"And then, like, they'll say the joke and I'll laugh," Leni said. She then broke out into her best laughter an empty mind and unwarned vocal chords could muster. Sure it was robotic and choppy, but at least it showed she knew what that was. Those eyes. Maybe Mrs. Lane would forget about where they were pointed.

"Yes. That's definitely one thing they could say in return," Mrs. Lane said as she wrote on the paper.

As this happened, Leni stared at her teacher, wondering what was being scribbled down. Was it good? Bad? An itch formed in the middle of her mind and she wanted to reach it.

"Let's move on to the next one," Mrs. Lane said as she picked up the paper and read, "Now you walk into a room and your friend does not look happy. Before this, you said something insensitive and they heard about it. What would you do?"

"Insensitive?" Leni said, her voice dropping off.

"It means you accidentally said something hurtful to them."

That was horrible. In all her years and analyzed memories, Leni recalled at least a few incidents when she hurt others. Her parents, Mrs. Rowzanksi, Derek, Lori, Linky, Helen, and even Mrs. Lane. All of it was the result of either negligence, runaway excitement, ambition, or a combination of those terrible forces. They had all corrupted her while clashing against each other. Who was she to deny the charge now being levied? The debt she had accumulated from selfishly snagging their forgiveness was untenable. This was a payment and she had no choice but to swallow it.

"The first thing I would do is say I'm sorry," Leni said softly, twidling her thumbs. She used every fiber of strength to keep her eyes focused on her teacher. Through Mrs. Lane's observant eyes, she saw those of all the others she believed to have slighted. Mrs. Rowzanski's makeup wasn't so gross anymore, "and then I would, like, ask if they want a hug. Or something kind. Or anything they want, just so that they know that I'm sorry. I want to tell that they are good and that they shouldn't be hurt like that. And then," she then paused and took a breath. Her eyes ached as they struggled to stay still, "I would say sorry to them again."

Leni exhaled, not caring whether it was audible. She couldn't look at Mrs. Lane anymore; her eyes veered off towards the window on the opposite wall. At that point, it was the only thing keeping her mind afloat, even as it stormed a tumultuous sea of regrets and apologies unsaid. After all this time, did she really even learn anything? She felt she had done little to correct her attitude, to stop herself from speaking out of turn.

"That's very thoughtful," Mrs. Lane said gently. Leni's eyes darted back to her teacher as she finished writing some more commentary down. What was being recorded mattered little now. The thought of her being worthy was getting confusing.

"Let's move on to the next one," she said.

And for now, there was little time or space to discuss the matter. That problem was gonna have to be kicked down the road for another day, another Leni.

"Wow! It's more beautiful than I ever imagined!" Mint Berry cried as she was rolled into the meadow. The sunset radiated brilliant rays against the daffodils. The chorus of baked flowers fascinated the wheelchair-bound mare. For the first time in years, she felt alive. She mouth stretched uncontrablly as she plucked one of the buds and her eyes sparkled as she felt it in her hoof.

But no one was more contented than the mare pushing the chair's handles. Rosy Cake grinned as she saw her friend have the time of her life. It was one of those smiles of a job well done.

"I knew you'd like it," Rosy Cake said sweetly. As she spoke, they were brushed with a gentle breeze, swaying both their manes like a set of wind chimes (only ones that were mute).

"Thank you!" her friend exclaimed as she threw her hoofs forward. With tears in her eyes, she wished she could have embraced Rosy. Luckily, the party pony was on the case. She swung around and hugged Minty.

"It's what friends are for," she whispered.

Leni smiled as the camera faded to black on that final shot. It was beautiful. Another masterfully crafted episode featuring the burst of sunshine, Rosy Cake (helping her friends, of course).

Everything was nice. It was another great Saturday with little concerns in the world. That was what it should be.

"Leni!" she heard her Mom holler.

Her ears perked at that call. Thankfully, there was no abrasiveness to be detected (the only outstanding feature was the volume). With this reassurance, she hopped from her bed and headed out.

Along the halls, she greeted Lana as she made her way to the bathroom as well as Lucy reading a giant book (to think that Lisa was the only big reader). Happy to see her little sisters going about their day, Leni strolled along down the stairs. As she moved, she wondered what her mother wanted. A chore, a question, a piece of fashion news. On a day like this, anything was possible.

Reaching the dining room, she noticed that Mom and Dad were both seated at the table. Between them was a Manila folder which (judging by the lid) had been unsealed. Seeing a document so official, Leni tensed up as she approached them. She couldn't help but feel that something was wrong.

"What is it?" Leni asked nervously.

As she propped up her Ducky arms, she looked first at her Mom. Her face was fine (no tear streaks, no red, nothing out of place). Then she turned to her Dad who was smiling. Leni raised an eyebrow, curious as to what this all meant.

"We just got a letter from the school," Lynn Sr. said, gesturing to the folder resting on the table, "they said that you passed your tests with flying colors."

Flying Colors? She didn't know that Dad was watching Princess Pony? Plus, that seemed like a weird analogy to use for something like this. Just as the silence was becoming unbearable, Mom jumped in.

"You did very well, honey," Rita said as the corners of her lips also curled upwards, "Mrs. Lane even told us personally how proud she is of you. The work you've done with her is simply amazing, way beyond what any of us could have imagined!"

Mrs. Lane actually complimented her and she said it to her parents (of all people). Maybe it was all just an exaggeration, a pep talk to feed her more lies about how great she was. There was no way any of this could be true.

"So, like, what happens now?" Leni asked, her voice devoid of any suspicion.

Just then, their faces magnified. Everything from their joyous eyes to their hearty grins grew (she could even see their teeth). Leni, meanwhile, only got more concerned.

"After this year, you won't need speech therapy anymore," Rita said proudly, "you have learned everything and ready to socialize on your own!"

"Isn't that exciting?" Lynn Sr. interjected.

Exciting? Years of causing misery and misfortune to (almost) everyone and everything she touched and only now was there a promise of redemption. It was an uphill turn, even if it came from an avoidable mess. Leni didn't think she would ever hear those words, that she was condemned to forever be a burden on those she loved. Perhaps the better word was normalized.

It was a lot to take in. She was too concentrated to lower her Ducky arms or even change her face. Leni didn't even open her mouth, something that the parents apparently noted first.

"You have to understand that you did this. It was your hard work that has gotten you to this point," Rita said soothingly, still smiling.

"Believe us, sweetie," Lynn Sr. said, mirroring his wife, "We are so proud of you. You've come so far and we want you to know that."

"Okay," Leni answered, finally finding the strength to relax. Lowering her arms, she looked up at both your parents, "thank you."

"What are you thanking us for? You're the one who did it all!" Rita said, chuckling.

Just then, Lynn Sr. swooped in and hugged Leni, nearly knocking her off her feet. Leni, baffled, was overwhelmed by her father's warm embrace and large body. It was a strange feeling, one she rarely considered. From what she knew, she was usually the one to initiate hugs. Was this why Linky turned all red when she hugged him and cooed him?

"We love you so much, honey," she heard her Dad say.

Seeing nothing but her Dad's green sweater, Leni heard the sound of sliding and steps. She felt her Mom wrap her arms around both of them. Now in an embrace, she was met with this assurance.

Perhaps with all this, there was finally gonna be change. If this was how they reacted to the news, then it's clear that it was a weight off their shoulders. Now, Leni felt like she wasn't a burden anymore. No more costs or specialists to deal with. No more humiliating instances of others not wanting to do with her. No more uncertainty about her own social skills. Leni assumed she had what it took to finally be an acceptable Loud, one that could be useful and competent. One that could be considered nice (and if she worked at it, more than that). Now, that silly voice was gonna go away and she could be happy in this post-struggle world. Maybe now she could be a source of pride for both others and for herself. Leni felt that the future was gonna be an ascendency towards happiness. From now on, there were to be no more fears.

Right?