It was another day for the Loud family.
Lori had one hand on the steering wheel as she gazed along the road. Once outside the school district, the traffic became much more bearable. Of course, that didn't stop her irritation.
Lana and Lola were bickering in the seat behind her, occasionally kicking it. The thud was distracting. After all, the woman was trying to drive. As she would say, woe is me.
"Luna! Tell those two to cut it out!" Lori barked as she glared at the car ahead of her.
"I'm trying!" she exclaimed as she oversaw the two at each other's throats. Luna reached her arms out in an effort to separate them, "Chill out, dudes! If you get along, you can be backup singers in my next recording."
Lana pushed Lola against the door. As the older twin grinned at the job well done, the younger huffed and screamed.
Lori bent forward as the sound pierced her ears. She was lucky she didn't smash into that innocent car as they stopped at the intersection. Peering forward, Lori noticed the car in front had its blinker pointing. Noting how her own path was straight, an idea simmered in her head. Sure enough, the car turned right and Vanzilla plowed on ahead. At this point, it was an open road as far down as she could see. Now was her chance.
As she drove, Lori leaned next to Leni, who was sitting next to her. The girl was staring out the window, smiling as she witnessed the same familiar sights whiz by.
"Check this out," Lori said, grinning.
Before Leni could have processed the words, Lori slammed on the brakes. Even with seat belts, everyone belched forward. Two particular voices moaned "Ow", causing Lori's grin to widen (just the ones she wanted). She looked over at Leni, whose hands were pressed against the dashboard.
"What's the hold up, sister?!" Lola demanded bitterly.
"Oh, nothing much. Just Mr. Grouse's new cat," Lori said slyly as she peered into the headboard mirror. Sure enough, Lola's glare burnt like the sun in the reflection, "Her name is Quiet!"
Leni jerked her head side to side, examining every portion of clear glass, although her reaction was the only one Lori saw. But that didn't matter so much. The twins were quiet (as was everyone else).
"Thank you," Lori sneered sweetly as she pushed the gas pedal. Vanzilla roared to a start and chugged down the road.
The rest of the ride was silent and without note. Lori was so comfortable in her place, the mere of driving got boring. Woe was her. Occasionally, her eye caught part of Leni doing something. She knew it was dangerous to take her eye off the road, leading her to make some casual assumptions of her little sister's actions. As far as she was concerned, Leni was struggling to figure out when Mr. Grouse even got a cat, let alone allow it to stray so far from his house. Leni seemed so easy to figure out, Lori didn't feel the need to think too hard about it.
Leni, for the most part, did stare out the window. It was one activity she liked to do whenever she was on any car ride. It wasn't like Lori was gonna let her turn on the radio or strike up a conversation. Besides, all the others were too far dispersed to mingle with. Of course, she could also text Helen. But for now, gazing at the scenery was enough.
Several minutes later, Lori pulled Vanzilla into the House. Simultaneously, the nine school-age kids filed out of the car and packed into their modest abode. Free from the constraints of school, they all dispersed to their afternoon routines. Leni usually didn't pay much mind to the others, given that she had her own business to attend to.
Entering her room, she went straight to her desk. Today was to be yet another step in her progress towards her latest project. As she stared at her sewing machine, Leni couldn't help but run through the prospects all over. There was still two weeks before the Royal Woods Fashion Show, sponsored by the High School's club (led by herself). There was still several fits that needed to be designed and it was her artistic vision that would be realized on that runway.
She took a calming breath as she opened one of the drawers. In it were a series of bobbins of various colored threads. But even in the sea of purple and red and blue and yellow, Leni's eyes widened at a particular feature (or lack thereof). The rainbow bobbin she had purchased only yesterday was missing.
Leni rubbed her chin as she remembered the details surrounding that item. She knew that immediately after receiving it, she had gone home and placed it in this specific drawer. Perhaps it was in a separate one. With this notion in mind, she checked the remaining drawers, sticking her hand in to examine obscure corners and spaces under other objects. However (to her greater surprise), it wasn't anywhere within the desk.
It became apparent that something must have happened to her beloved bobbin. Did she simply forget some detail? She knew she needed that bobbin in order to continue work on that particular design.
Time to ask the others.
She swiveled out of her chair and noticed Lori sitting on her bed typing on a laptop. Or, more accurately, was typing until her fingers abruptly stopped. Lori's bored expression quickly molded into annoyance as she took a large airy breath. Leni wasn't sure where to insert herself; her big sister looked busy with staring and what appeared to be whispering to herself.
"Hey Lori," she said gently.
Lori sighed.
"Yes?" she asked uninterested.
Was it worth it to ask her big sister for help? Leni briefly recalled the contents of the drawer, insuring that she saw it correctly. Now that was in that position, she wasn't so sure anymore. And when she wasn't sure, there was only one option. Standing there idly wasn't one of them and neither was counting the pimples breaking out on Lori's apathetic face.
"Have you, like, seen my rainbow thread?" Leni asked. She even threw in a smile, trying to lighten the mood on her sister's face. Sadly, all she got was another sigh and a head shake.
"Did you take it?" Leni asked curiously.
"No, Leni. Why would I take that?"
That never occurred to her. After multiple instances of her taking Lori's bobby pins, she only assumed that Lori would have taken to reciprocal action. But there wasn't much time to dwell on this realization, given how Lori was impatiently waiting. So, for convenience, Leni shrugged. Lori raised her hands.
"Whatever," Lori said, her eyes glued on the screen, "go ask someone else. I'm busy."
Leni had noticed the prominent laptop facing her big sister. Over the past week, that object had replaced her phone as Lori's center of attention. For hours on end while Leni sewed, she sat on her bed alternating between brief periods of typing and longer breaks of staring at the screen. There were times where Lori even talked to herself, mumbling memories and ideas that crafted Leni's understanding of the situation.
"So, like, how's your story coming along?" Leni asked, trying to change the subject.
"Alright," Lori replied casually, "let me ask you. Do you think Harvard will be impressed if I use the word," she then paused to lean into the screen, "obsolescence?"
Leni smiled and eagerly nodded.
"You bet. You're, like, so smart that Harvard can't say no!" Leni said. And she meant it as well. Over the years, when has Lori been wrong about stuff? At the moment, she couldn't think of a single instance. Once that fancy college saw how amazing her big sister was, they would have no choice but to let her in.
"Thanks," Lori replied blankly. Her fingers moved automatically, her face barely changing to account for the new edits to her developing essay. Leni figured it was her time to move on to the next sibling.
Making the leap across the hall, Leni entered the next room. Indeed, Luna strummed at a black guitar on the bean bag while Luan was head deep in an engaging discussion with Mr. Coconuts. Leni smiled, thinking about their development. Luna had really come out of her shell since the end of seventh grade. Meanwhile, Luan got a new set of braces after biting a bowling pin (Leni never asked why, however it still confused her). The wire plus the retainer gave her little sister a lisp. And it was absolutely adorable.
"Hey girls," Leni said cheerfully, waving her arm. On cue, both the sisters perked their heads up.
"What's up, sis?"
"This better be important," Luan said lightly, "Mr. Coconuts can't bear to be left waiting."
Leni raised an eyebrow. Was there some secret message being transmitted? As she tried to decode what she was missing out on, Luna leaned forward.
"Really? Bear?" Luna said, baffled by her sister's remark, "there's nothing here that looks like a bear."
She still couldn't figure it out. Of course there wasn't a bear in the room. If there was, then everyone would be running away. There'd be roaring and honey and fur everywhere. It was only then, though, that Leni remembered the word "bare", as in "to put up with with". She thought it was clever and became tempted to laugh.
"Wood you prefer me saying a moose?"
Having caught that one quicker, Leni calculated that was two jokes in the row. And when something was funny, there was one (two) thing to do. As she coughed out some giggles, it was then that something else hit her. Leni paused. Luna didn't laugh at all (and neither did Luan). Now, any form of laughing was just embarrassing.
"Um, like, have any of you, um, see my rainbow thread," Leni asked, struggling to formulate the words. Staring at her two sisters was difficult. They always liked to look her directly in the eye, making the sight all that much harder to lock. That, plus the inappropriate giggling, placed her in an awkward position.
"Haven't seen it, sis," Luna said, gazing down at the guitar, "you might wanna check with Lori."
"Yeah," Luan concurred.
There was no way that was a joke. And even though they were wrong, Leni internalized their advice. After all, they didn't know. She smiled and went on her way.
Lori was out of the picture. That much was clear. But even at that, there was still no bobbin around. She imagined holding it in her hands, absorbing its vibrant colors. It was gonna look lovely on a white dress she was planning, a lining certain to pop to the eyes. Leni had been thinking about that dress for several weeks and the thought of her sitting behind the machine crafting it caused her heart to flutter.
The search had to continue, as if all other projects were on hold for the time being. Sure, she could have devoted her afternoon to making something else; there were plenty of simpler dresses and shirts that didn't require such special material. But now, that rainbow thread was all she could think of. Her chest squeezed the longer she lingered without an answer.
Proceeding down the hall, she entered the next room. Lucy sat on her bed, writing from her journal. The other side of the room was glaringly empty. Now she remembered. Lynn had hockey practice today. Life for her must have been so carefree. Bulky equipment on, gracefully skating down the smooth ice, scoring touchdowns. Lynn had all her stuff in order. Meanwhile, Leni was left scrounging for this one roll of thread.
"Hi, Lucy. Like, have y-"
"Out of my way!"
A hand jammed itself into Leni's side. The startled woman gazed down as Lola's diminutive threatening figure stormed into the room. Before her, Lola went to Lynn's side and started her raid. T-shirts and gym shorts came flying while the girl rambled. Lucy barely noticed, as indicated from her persistent writing (and after all, she might have assumed that it didn't affect her).
"I'm gonna rip her head off!" Lola mumbled as her tiny arms yanked at the drawer. It was a miracle the whole tray didn't come out as well. Of course, that only emboldened the little princess.
"What's wrong?" Leni asked nervously, still standing in the doorway. Lola froze dramatically and reared her furious head over. The older sister recoiled.
"Lynn stole one of my white gowns and she's gonna use it as a towel!" Lola exclaimed as she hurled another T-shirt across the room.
Leni wished she could help out her little sister; she hated seeing Lola upset (or any of her siblings). But all she could have done was remain frozen. She didn't know where that gown was (or if Lynn used it as a towel). Maybe it had nothing to do with an article of clothing, but rather something deeper. Was there something Lola wasn't telling anyone (she knew that feeling).
"Hello!" Lola screamed towards Lucy, "are you just gonna sit there or what?"
Lucy sighed as she placed down her book.
"Only when clothes are flying is my presence noticed," Lucy said before sighing again. But rather than getting up to look, she retreated to her book.
"Aren't you gonna help me find my gown?!"
"No," Lucy replied as she started writing again.
Leni braced herself as the princess gritted her teeth and paced about the room. Each step pounded against the pavement and the feet yanked at the fibers. It had to have been the noisiest sound in the Loud House. Leni conjoined her hands as she stepped forward (Lola being too distracted to notice her big sister approaching).
"I can help you find your gown," she said. She had hauled herself into a ring of fire, where uncertainty reined supreme. Leni didn't think through the precise risks, but her tummy had a boulder in it, a bold warning for what might be.
However, just as quickly as she made the offer, Lola's face lightened up like a light switch. Instantaneous, complete, and unexpected. Maybe this wouldn't be so bad after all.
"Thank you, Leni," Lola said sweetly. And just like that, her own fears subsided," I'm glad some people are kind enough to lend a helping hand," she continued as she shot a glare towards Lucy. The writer, though, paid little mind, as shown from her continued scribbling.
With a smile on her face, Leni stumbled into the room and picked up some of the loose clothing from the floor. They were all crumpled from their turbulent flight and yearned to return to their cozy home (or at least, that's how she saw it). Not only was she determined to put them back, Leni got the idea to fold them as well. Sure it would take more time, but Lynn deserved to come back to a nice organized wardrobe.
The first one she chose was one of Lynn's normal shirts (red and white, long sleeved, and a number 1 on it). Even though it was time consuming, the process was fairly easy. First were the sleeves, which got pressed over the front. Once the cuffs overlapped, Leni held up the shirt and folded the whole thing in half (the "tall way"). And finally, it was folded in half again (this time the "wide way"). Now done, Leni neatly slid the shirt into an open drawer.
"Leni! We have to find my gown, not clean the room!" Lola exclaimed, stomping her foot.
"I know. But, like, it's not nice to make a mess like this," Leni said.
"I want my gown!"
It was like she wasn't on the same planet. Leni was certain she had known her objective. Clothes were her thing, whether it was making them, wearing them, or knowing where they were. Folding Lynn's clothes just happened to be her first tendency. She was gonna get around to eyeing that gown. It was all just a matter of process, she told herself.
Of course, that didn't quell Lola's anger. That sour face, the result of impatience and agonizing tolerance crashing together into a sickening look. Leni felt her heart jump as she realized the mission's second dimension (how it all affected her precious little sister). Her eyes darted as she tried to pick up the pieces.
Clearly, she couldn't continue folding; that only would have made Lola madder (and who knew what punishment would have awaited her). Leni had to actually look for this thing. She was gonna be the one that saved the day. The only question now where to start. She jerked her head around, noticing the drawers. Those seemed like a decent place to start.
Leni approached the dresser and opened the top drawer. Seeing the barren, dirty clumps, Leni proceeded to sift through them, carefully nudging them. As she moved, she told herself that Lynn deserved to have everything in here folded and organized. It would certainly be a welcome surprise for the aspiring hockey star.
Of course, that had to wait until after she found Lola's clothes. Keeping a smile on, Leni searched through each of the drawers, respecting each article she came across (regardless of how ratty or filthy it was). Unfortunately, none of them produced anything Lola owned, let alone her white gown. As each examined corner came up empty, Leni felt her insides churn, that smile a little battered.
Deep down, her determination boldened. She was not gonna let her sister down. Somehow, some way, she was gonna find it and make her very happy, even if it took the rest of the afternoon.
"Hey Lola!"
Who was that? It was certainly a familiar one. Squeaky, deeper than her's, gentle and soft. There was only one name that registered in Leni's brain when that voice was heard. She leaned back from the dresser and swiveled around. Lincoln entered carrying something white. There was simply no way, Leni thought.
"Here," the boy said, handing the white, bunched up fabric to Lola, "it was mixed in with Lana's laundry."
Right at the moment where Leni thought that face would never glow again, Lola's immediately curled up. Her eyes bore a different hue and her lips rolled back, revealing the gap where her front teeth should be. Leni watched back as the scene unfolded.
"Thank you, Linky!" Lola cried as she rushed up to her brother. The hug she gave him appeared tight, yet authentic. Lincoln's boyish "defenses" melted away and he returned the hug. Even Leni wound up smiling at all the cuteness. Lucy, meanwhile, sighed and continued writing, her eyes never leaving the page.
The rainbow thread.
Suddenly, Leni remembered the big mission, the entire reason she was in Lucy's room to begin with. As she recollected the details she acquired from her investigation, Leni looked at Lucy (sulky and quiet). She wanted me to drop the question to her, gain some more insight from someone else.
And yet, she remained silent. What was there to gain from asking Lucy where her rainbow thread was? "I dunno. Ask Lori or Linky?" And then she would have been guided by the hand towards the next destination. Leni recognized there would have been no pride in finding the bobbin she misplaced by getting others involved. Sure, they were all perfect, but they deserved better than to get dragged into this.
Leni boldened her resolve and hauled herself off the floor. She was gonna find that bobbin all by herself.
By then, Lola and Lincoln had parted ways, clearing the path for her. The first place that came to mind was the living room. And that was where she was gonna look.
As she descended the steps, her eyes peered down, checking if the bobbin was nestled there (the railing was an excellent tool in preventing a fall). None of the steps, however, housed a bobbin of any type, let alone one of rainbow thread. Once that leg was complete, she turned right into the living room. In there, she saw Lana leaned back on the couch, staring at the television.
"Hey Lana," Leni said cheerfully.
The little girl noticed Lana and smiled a little. That was the type of face Leni loved seeing more than anything.
"What's up, Leni?"
"Nothing much," she replied before slyly grinning herself. It was truly the look of someone that took pride in their actions. And right then, she wanted the whole world to know what she was up to, "I'm just down here looking for my rainbow bobbin."
"That's cool," Lana replied.
Cool. She liked the sound of that.
"Thanks," Leni said, nodding her head. With nothing to wait for, she proceeded to walk around the room, looking in each of the shelves and drawers. Sure enough, all the usual stuff was in their place. But alas, no bobbin.
There was no way she was gonna give up, especially not when she has a fellow sister in the room to impress. Lana needed to know that Leni was, in fact, searching (and vigorously at that). Darting her eyes around the room, she thought through some of the other spots it could be. While some of them appeared nice, Leni quickly made a decision. The bottom of the couch. Clearly, if it were just lying in the open, Lana would have seen it by now. That had to be the only logical explanation.
As she moved closer, Leni's eyes caught sight of the flashing TV screen. On it was a text being narrated.
"We now return to The Rabbit Hole," the announcer said. On the right side was a picture of a smiling cartoon bunny wearing an orange baseball hat.
She froze to examine the screen. That bunny sure was cute. No wonder Lana wanted to watch this show so bad (even though she hadn't heard much about it). Leni told herself to remember that title so she could check it out. But now wasn't the time for watching cartoons. That bobbin had to be found! Just as the show started, Leni got down to her knees and peeked under the couch.
Through the thick upholstery, she heard a cacophony of female voices followed by a piercing shrill, silencing them all.
"My cake!"
"Someone took a big bite out of it."
"And now it's ruined!"
Nothing so far. That couch was pretty much a clear slit acting as a gate to the other side. Maybe Mom had just cleaned it. Leni, though, didn't want to believe it. She didn't want to be shown being wrong. Her eyes scanned the area again. As this happened, she heard a door swing open.
"Hey everyone," a male voice said cheerfully. Unfortunately, it was met with silence, "what's wrong?"
"Someone has some explaining to do!" one of the girls said.
"Yeah!" they all chanted.
"About what?...Oh...Well, I didn't do it! And it's not that bad. I mean, the rest of the cake is perfectly fine," the boy insinuated.
She then heard what she assumed was a banana peel slipping, followed by the boy screaming. Underneath his squeaky cry was a series of crashes, each one made Leni cringe a little. Finally, there was a fat, moist splat. That couldn't have been good, even though Lana burst out chuckling.
"Harrison!" all the girls screamed.
"Come on! A banana peel? Mom and Dad have told Beth a million times not to leave those lying around," Harrison protested.
"You just don't get the a-peel," Beth said. Her voice, though, had a lisp. Suddenly, all the girls burst into laughter. Annoying, demeaning laughter.
"Well," Harrison said, resigned. The laughter cut out, to insure this admission was heard, "I guess I brought this upon myself."
Once again, Lana laughed. Leni, though didn't quite get the joke. Maybe it was just something she had to see as well as hear. Regardless, she finally accepted the fact that the bobbin was not under the couch. Sighing, she got back up and saw her little sister cozied up in the cushion. Every few seconds, Lana chuckled at some new gag or joke being said on screen. Leni, though, told herself not to watch. She needed to find that bobbin, regardless of distractions.
Leni made her way into the kitchen, where Rita stood in front of a chair. Unfortunately, her body obstructed the object or view itself.
"For the last time: no!" Rita said authoritatively.
"Mother, I rest assure you that the finances and installation will be covered," Lisa said. Leni paused, taking the moment to recognize that it was her Mom was speaking to.
"It's not just the money. You can't have an atom spliter in the House! It's dangerous not just for you, but the entire family," Rita shot back, placing her hands on her hips.
"The University lacks a unit and my colleagues have little interest in procuring one. Therefore, I have to assume responsibility. Once I obtain it, I can yield tremendous research on an unlimited schedule."
"I don't care! I'm not gonna let you do any risky experiments in the House. End of story," Rita said.
Leni then heard a nasally sigh.
"Very well," Lisa said, "it is disappointing that my research will remain limited to the University. However, if that is your wish, I will oblige."
"I just want you to be safe, honey," Rita said, far more gently than before, "It's great that you're doing this type of work with grown ups, but the University is the only place where you can do it without getting hurt. Do you understand?"
"Yes, mother," Lisa said plainly.
"Good."
The chair pushed back as a little figure hopped down from it. Leni watched as Lisa coolly walked away. Those large bespectacled eyes veered off at a point she couldn't determine. It was pretty interesting hearing Lisa's desire, even if she had no idea what an atom spliter was (a kitchen utensil owned by a guy named Adam?)
"Hi sweetie, how are you?" Rita asked.
The words jolted her. Leni briefly forgot what she was even gonna say as it got mixed with confusion, surprise, and the command responses she had learned from years of teaching.
"Pretty good," Leni said tensely, "and you?"
"Pretty well myself. Thanks for asking," Rita said. Her voice was unusually high. Leni was forced to wonder if it was always like that.
And then she remembered again. Now she knew what all this was about. And (hopefully), all of this nonsense would stop.
"Have you seen my rainbow thread bobbin?" Leni asked, forcing herself to focus on each word. It was after finishing that she realized what she had done. Leni blushed, knowing that she had given up the whole "find it yourself" goal. So much for progress.
"As a matter of fact," Mom said. She then got up from the chair and swung open one of the cabinets. Her hand reached in and pulled out a black plastic bobbin with rainbow thread. Leni's eyes widened upon seeing her coveted prize. Images reared their ugly head, producing forgotten traces of her movement. And she specifically remembered putting the bobbin in the cabinet when she had to go to the bathroom, telling herself that she would have been right back to retrieve it.
Thinking about that caused her cheeks heated up even more. The tummy felt weird, churning up like it was rejecting a bad breakfast. Making it worse was that smile her Mom had as she gave it to her, traversing the room just to gift it to her.
"Uh, thank you," Leni said.
"You're welcome," Rita replied.
Gripping the bobbin, Leni retreated from that kitchen, uncomfortable seeing her Mom's face. The last thing she wanted was to bask in that discomfort, that embarrassment.
She knew her Mom should have given her a firm warning for misplacing something she had spent good money on; it was the least she could have received in retribution. And yet, all she got was a smile and a cute demeanor. Why couldn't she have been given the arms crossed or hands on the hips? Why couldn't she get yelled at like the others?
Leni sauntered into the foyer where Lynn bolted through the front door, hauling a hefty black bag.
"Mom! I'm home!" she shouted.
"I thought you had practice," Rita said, her voice projecting from the kitchen.
"We got out early!"
Before Leni could have greeted her, Lynn was already halfway up the steps. All she could think about was whether her little sister would be alright with the mess made earlier and her incomplete effort to clean it. Lynn deserved so much better than one folded shirt.
Now that she had what she needed, Leni proceeded up the steps herself. Most of the time, though, her eyes focused on the right wall. Her vision glazed past each of their portraits, going from youngest to oldest. Each of them looked so cute with their little smiles and self confidence. Indeed, all of them were perfect.
She stopped, however, when she reached her own. Leni did not think her body was ugly by any means (when a lot of effort into fashion and hair care, there was little to complain about). Her smile, though, was weirdly shaped. It was just there, as if there was no life behind it. Most of the time, it did require a meaningful push for her to contort her lips into an acceptable shape. Not only that, but she was sandwiched between two other perfect people.
There was Lori, the sister she turned to for guidance. No one was smarter than her (aside from Lisa). She always had something to say about how things (or Leni's life) should work. And she was always right. Leni was pressed to think of a time when Lori was wrong when she herself was correct. It was a law of nature.
And then there was Luna. She had grown up so much over the past few years. To think that she got her to be friends with Helen, only to then discover her own interest and branch off to her crowd. Luna had transformed herself, cut her hair and changed her wardrobe (mostly). But most of all, she now had a tight pack of other rockers and musicians. It was okay that Luna didn't hang out with her as much anymore. Leni wasn't hurt, she told herself. After all, Luna was perfect and her priorities always trumped all else.
Both of them were remarkable (as were the rest of them). And then there was just her. Crooked smile, memory lapses, twisted tongue.
Leni's head lowered as she went up the rest of the steps. She didn't like that picture very much. Yet, once on top, she went to the right without even thinking. There was only one person left that she needed help from.
Opening the door, she saw the crib pressed against one wall. In one corner of the room, Lisa was quietly reading at her desk. As Mom had said, there was no atom spliter to be found (or any other high tech gear that's found at the University). But at the moment, what mattered most was the soft cooing.
Leni's heart lightened as she approached the crib's wooden side. Lily was happily rolling around on the mattress, gripping her stuffed teddy bear. And that smile beamed of innocence and vibrancy. The sunshine in her eyes radiated to Leni.
"Hi Lily. It's me, Leni," she said in her baby voice (a skill she had acquired through multiple practice runs). Lily stretched her hands upward, pointing to Leni. She knew what needed to happen.
Leni hoisted the infant into her arms and hugged her. Everything lightened as she felt the baby's warmth press against her chest. This was nice. If only every moment were like this, where there was nothing to fear and everything was alright. There were times where she wished she could be told it's alright.
"You're good enough. Look how happy Lily is."
Leni wanted it to be okay. She wanted to be in the present, to face the fact that a special someone was happy because of her actions. Leni pulled every fiber of her brain to tell herself this. She tried and tried and tried.
But this wasn't the first time she held Lily. So what difference would it have made if she did it again. All of these feelings, this nasty discomfort, was bound to resurface. It was ready to catch her off balance, even when she knew it would come.