Open Wounds

by 216BLT

AU: The past is the past. Puck, Santana, & Rachel Corcoran have moved on from theirs, but when their mother decides to take in a teen, old memories resurface. Also, new scars are made as they navigate through adolescence, ones that might not heal.

24. Chapter 24

Chickabilly - Where to begin? Let's start here, you made my day; you gave me a burst of inspiration that somehow drained from me. You allowed me to laugh and start my day anew. Thank you. You gave a perfect weaving of compliments and constructive criticism that inspired me and made me feel better about myself and helped me produce what is below. Your comments were extraordinary. The simple fact that you took the time to review every chapter you missed was... sigh... humbling and incredible and I am so so so grateful. There aren't enough words. Your wit and close eye made me miss seeing you review. I am so happy that you're back. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. (P.S. not an avid Lord of the Rings fan... but I threw in a little thing for you. I hope you like it)

FacingFuture – Judy is a horrible person and you will see more of that in this chapter. It gets better for San and Joey. Brittany is going to be in this story more and more. Thank you for reviewing.

gleefanatic14 – Quinn is not really trying to get back but she feels she has no where else to go – Thanks for reviewing.

Fangirl44 – Oh they are going to talk alright but will they make up – we will see. Thanks for reviewing.

Renata – Shelby will makes sure Noah gets his future plans in line. Rachel is remembering more and more but for a number of reasons. The trip the grandparents is a couple of chapters away but it is coming. Lea was fantastic in glee last week wasn't she? I'll share a little tidbit: I had the pleasure of meeting her and J. Groff and see both of them live in Spring Awakening. twice and Lea three times. Sigh... so so so so so incredible. As always – thanks for the review!

Gleek1990 – There are serious arcs coming up I promise you! I actually was so slow in updating this chapter because I was too distracted by a certain someone's arc later down the line (WAAAAAY later). I'll give you a hint: It was heartbreaking to write, but I had to get it out of my head and into a doc before I lost it. I throw out the teasers but they are real. I promise you. Judy is a complete nutcase. But not to worry...I have plans for her. She will be in this chapter – thanks for your review.

JustHoldingOn – Thank you so much. I loved your words and I am in awe of all my readers! I would be no where without you. I appreciate you true dedication to my stories. Thank you so much for your review it makes my heart melt. It's melted on the ground right now... I'm trying to vacuum it up.

SuzQQ – Wow what a review again! I am thinking you want me to spoil things for you? Introducing more and more characters get tough because I don't believe in just throwing them in a story just for the sake of throwing them in – I believe characters in depth and want them to bring something to the story – does that makes sense? But that doesn't mean that new characters won't appear – I just make no promises. Judy and Russell are the poster children for how parents should not be – they have almost ruined Quinn's life – she has to relearn so many things. Santana and Joey have a strong relationship – they are kind of similar to each other so at times it may seem cantankerous but it is all done out of love from the both of them. Your reviews are always well thought out and helpful and I thank you for them – I cant promise anything but I always love to hear them.

OTHangels – Thank you I tend to be hard on myself and I appreciate the reviews! Thank you

Claire - Thank you so much for you review. You are correct though it is not one of those fics that something happens and then it is all better in the next chapter or two – that is not realistic and I am trying to make it as realistic as I can. You may not be able to reach in and hug the characters but your review felt like a hug to me so thank you! It was needed! :)

marinka4 – you are right something is brewing but it is not just one thing – it is many. Kurt may be back but to be honest it is a small role. Brittany however will be in this story more and more – thanks for the review.

Abby – Thank you for saying that. Quinn is near and dear to me and I am hoping that I portray her accurately for my story.

MaJorReadaer619 – Quinn and Rachel will def have more scenes together. (I may have just written one for a huge arc later down the line...which distracted me from this chapter). If you want to be spoiled more send me a quick PM and I will answer any questions you have. I don't want to spoil here for my other readers. Thank you!

Kylana – Other glee people are kind of tough to bring in but I am not saying that I wont bring them in – I just want them to fit the story correctly. Thank you so much for the review.

Cookie – Thank s for reviewing! Please don't die on me! I appreciate you too much! Plus I think you want to be alive to see where these characters go... Thank you!

Glitter96 – sorry about the cliffhanger – hope it clears it up ! Thanks for the review. I hope you like this chapter...

Tcathing - I am glad you loved this chapter! Slowly and surely these kids will get better and Shelby and Quinn will continue to grow. Thank you for the review

TommyH – I love you reviewing ! Thank you – More Quinn coming up!

BMontague – Thank you for the review. Much more will happen and some will happen before the trip but in the end goodness prevails.

Anna1234 - Well you shall see! :) Thank you for the review.

broadwaybound2016 – Thank you for reviewing once again! I hope you like this one.

HIsland429 – unfortunately Rachel has to learn on her own or she will never survive. Leroy and Shelby are family focused so they will all get there. Judy is def psychotic. Thank you for the review. there is a lot in store. I hope you stick around :) thank you!

Piecesofyourheart – Please no tools not approved in torture techniques. We will get more Shelby and San but I can't include everything. Quinn and Rachel will form a bond for sure. There is craziness coming. I hope you have your hard hat on and stick around. Thank you for your kind review – keep them coming.

ArmyOfWuh – ahh my Santana fan – You and I both know you know some of what's coming. Thanks as always for the review and I hope that you are willing to stick around. It'll be a wild ride.

NinjaGleek21 – Hope is all well with you. Knock on wood – thank you for your review! Haha no lighter on Judy. Don't scroll to the end. Even though I know you'll want to now that I've said that, but at the end of this chapter my answer is the same: No lighter for Judy... at least not yet. Thank you as always for the cookies. They make my day. I loves me some cookies.

Ryoko05 – Thank you for the lovely complements. With such a big ensemble as this it does get hard at times, but this is a story I'm committed to. I'm determined to tell this families' story. you learn a little of their past here too...everyone's past. The explosion of crazy isn't her but soonish. and I haven't had any correct guesses of what the soonest one is. not yet. Santana will be more involved she just has to get out her issues then she will fight for what is right for you tooth and nail! However, I did write a scene for a few chapters down the road between Santana and another character where she really steps up to their aid... Santana's incredibly strong, she just doesn't realize how strong she can be yet. She's lucky to have you in her corner and so am I. Thank you for the review.

Hi Everyone, I know I keep teasing. Some incredible reviewer actually told me that I was "all about the teasing and not about the pleasing." I would like you to know that I apologize for the delay with this chapter because I'm meticulously laying out the pieces for later chapters. This story is complex and I want to make sure that everything is in place perfectly. (Can you tell i'm a bit of a perfectionist?) I was actually distracted with the explosion of a story arc waaaaaaay down the line that I had to get this out. Don't worry. Florida is coming, however, this chapter is Sunday/Monday and the family is not leaving until Friday. Quite a few things are going to ensue before the crew gets on a plane... (BTW that will be a funny adventure to look forward to. For anyone, who has traveled with their family or a big group, you know :) ….. ) I hope you all like this chapter. It took awhile for me to find my flow and refocus.

Chapter 24

Shelby walked quietly into the study. She knew this look from her older sister and she didn't like it. Not one bit.

"What's going on?" Shelby asked quietly as she closed the door.

They heard the front door slam. Joey looked down at her now glowing phone. She stared at the unread text that blinked on her screen. "Bear took the kids out."

"They're grounded," Shelby sneered.

Joey ignored her and took a deep breath. "I have to tell you something."

Shelby narrowed her eyes. "Okay...Spit it out. You look like hell."

"Have you looked in the mirror lately?" the older mother replied back as she looked at her closely. "You're going to be upset," she said with such conviction. She sighed. "It's an inevitability."

"Joey!" Shelby practically screamed through her teeth at her big sister.

"You can cancel the appointment with the doctor on Monday for Santana," Joey said with a set jaw.

Shelby's eyes scanned her older sister. She opened her mouth as she searched for her words. "What?" she asked in a low tone.

"You don't have to take her." Shelby watched Joanne look at her hands and around the room.

"Joanne!" Shelby said annoyed.

Joey looked Shelby in the eye. She released a breath. "You don't have to take her because I took her a month ago."

She watched her younger sister's face turn from confusion to horror to furious in about five seconds. She watched as Shelby tried to form words but all she did instead was shake her head and make the sounds of syllables. Finally, she spoke.

"What?" she asked.

Joey licked her lips. She looked down as she folded her arms tightly across her chest and then looked back at Shelby, but only slightly. "At the beginning of Santana's freshman year, Griffin came to me about Santana."

Shelby put her hands up in front of her. She shook her head. "I can't... I'm sorry...what?...Griffin came to you? About Santana? Griffin and Santana don't get along. She said they never talked at school"

Joey scoffed. "There's a reason for that. Griff did his own thing and let San do hers... but...

Shelby shook her head. "Your son came to you about my daughter. I don't see it, Joey. Doesn't make sense. Rachel mediates them for Christ's sakes. "

"Okay," Joey said. "You're my sister and I love you so I will ignore your crazy use of possessive pronouns there. Don't even try to treat me like some crazy distant relative. I have been here every step of the way and you know it. Griff and San might not get along at all, but from what I understand last year they came to a new understanding."

Shelby pinched the bridge of her nose and collapsed into the love seat. "I know I'm sorry...I just...Griff came to you about Sanny?"

"Yeah," Joey said with an empathetic frown. She took a deep breath and sat across from her sister on the ottoman. "He had heard rumors about Santana and apparently he confronted a few guys about it."

A look of realization spread across Shelby's face. "Was this when he broke Zane Bolton's nose?" Shelby asked. She scowled as she scanned her memory. "Yup that was last year. He told me at Thanksgiving that his hand slipped into the boy's face."

"Well, Zane was ….one of the first guys Santana slept with apparently," Joey said carefully watching her sister. "He was bragging about it in the locker room. So my son, your nephew, broke his nose." She took another deep breath. "I went to Santana and told her that she should talk to you and that she was better than sleeping around with guys..."

Shelby shook her head and gawked at her sister. "But because you were a slut in high school-"

"Shelby!" Joey scolded. "Don't you dare bring up my past because you're pissed about the present. Yes, I slept around in high school but that does mean in any WAY, SHAPE, or FORM that I would tell my then fifteen year old niece 'go ahead, I did it! No problem!'" She pointed her finger. "God, you're being such a bitch right now!"

"You kept secrets from me about my child's health!" Shelby fired back. "For over a year!"

"Listen, mama bear," Joey scolded. "You can be pissed. I knew you would be, but I also KNOW that you get it!" She shook her head. "Think about it, Shel. Santana was scared and starting high school. She barely made it through junior high without a fight or being caught making out with someone in the locker room every other week. I told her I disapproved but I also told her that she needed to be safe." Joey shook her head. "So we made a deal. She would take her birth control regularly and go to check ups with me and -"

Shelby put up her hands. "I'm sorry. What?" She gawked at her. "You put my daughter on birth control and didn't tell me?"

Joey stared at her sister. "I know I was wrong and I know I should have told you. However,-"

"No, however! No! No! No!" Shelby stood up and paced. "I can't even."

"Shelby, Santana and I agreed that we would tell you when she was ready. She wasn't ready to tell you anything," Joey replied.

"She never is! God!" Shelby stared at the ceiling. "I can't...I just... She's my kid! Who's been sleeping around and sad and ….. " She looked at the her sister with such defeat. "And you knew."

"Yeah, I did," Joey replied quickly, not even attempting to shy from it. She knew she was in the wrong.

"And never said anything to me, ever!" Shelby put her hand up. "I'm not doing this with you right now, Joey. I can't." She walked to the door.

"Shelby, if I told when Santana wasn't ready, if I breached that trust," Joey paused and she watched as Shelby stood at the door. "What do you think she would have done?"

The question hung in the air. Joey waited a few moments. Shelby's heart was beating out of her chest. She was shaking with anger, resentment and betrayal.

Joey continued. "I know it was wrong of me not to tell you. I know it was. And I knew that this conversation would happen like this when I told you, but Santana needed to make this choice and you know it."

She spun on the balls of her feet to face her sister. She pointed a finger at her. "You should have told me when Griffin came to you and I, me, her mother, would have talked to her," Shelby fired back.

"Think back to a year ago, Shelby," Joey said dryly. "What was going on then that may have made me decide to make this decision without you?" It was a rhetorical question. She looked at her carefully.

Shelby looked down. "I … I know she had a hard time with that. And she was scared but-"

"Shelby! Don't down play it. Yes, we eventually knew that Rachel would be fine, but it was scary and we didn't know what was going on for the longest time. With the tests and everything," Joey shook her head. "And all that time in the hospital was hard on everyone."

"It was a bad UTI. She used to get them all the time when she was little after... ," Shelby trailed off with a shake of her head. They both remembered how tough emotionally everything had been after Hiram, but physically Rachel took the brunt of it. Years after the dust of the trauma settled, Rachel was still getting UTIs. Shelby had been sure that they had been done with all that. However, last year Rachel developed an extremely bad one but kept it quiet, for fear of going back to the hospital.

"Don't blow it off, Shelby," Joey said quickly. "Rachel was a mess. You were a mess. Noah and San were so freaked out that Rachel was in the hospital again. Rach knew something was wrong, but she didn't say anything so she waited until it spread so badly to her kidneys that she woke up in the middle of the night sobbing. And then she had to stay hooked up to an IV for five days and that was after twenty-four hours of testing to figure out what the hell was wrong with her." She watched as her sister replayed that time in her head. "You remember all of it. I know how scared you were." She exhaled deeply. "It triggered so many things for them." Joey paused for a moment. "Just like what's happening now."

"What are you talking about?" Shelby asked with offense.

"Shelby, the kids are all dealing with their own things," Joey said carefully. "I'm scared that something's going to happen."

Shelby scoffed. "What? What are you talking about?"

Joanne laughed. "Are you kidding me? Shelby, I love these kids. All four of them. I do, but they are hurting. Their heads and hearts are full. I see it in their faces and eyes." She stepped closer. "And in yours."

"What do you want me to do, Jo?" She shook her head. "I mean seriously. You know just as well as I do that this stuff isn't going away." She looked her sister straight in the face. "I'm never letting Quinn leave with anyone else. This is her home."

Joey shrunk back. "I never said that Quinn would have to leave. I see her as a part of this family. I've already started Christmas shopping for her. There's never been any question in my mind that she isn't staying.-"

"But Judy," Shelby interrupted.

"Was my friend almost thirty years ago," she finished. She shook her head and continued. "And Judy has been hating me with that dirt-licking-fuck-face of a husband for her entire adult life." Joey shrugged. "She's not going to change." She sighed. "When you and I talked about Quinn this morning, when you were so chipper with your coffee," Joey added in. "When she told me about what her mother did," Joey sighed. "The last drop of hope that I had for Judy had evaporated." She put her hand on her chest. "I don't see people as good or bad or evil. Bear hates that I see things as gray. What Judy did was wrong. Everything that she's done doesn't ….." Joey looked at her sister. "Sometimes people do terrible things and so you look for reason to argue their sanity and explain why they chose to make those choices." Joey sighed. "While other times, reason doesn't matter because the action itself is so heinous that even if you knew the reason it wouldn't change your mind." Joey looked at her hands. "She was my best friend." Shelby watched as tears ran down Joey's cheeks. "And became an angry, drunken coward … who beat the shit out of her daughters, especially Quinn... and who let... who let her husband rape her daughter. She became that person." Joey wiped her tears with the back of her hands. "It's not about forgiveness or reason. Those things don't matter. It is what it is and it's wrong and you can't take that back." She looked at her sister. "I know I can't take back that I didn't tell you, but I hope a tiny bit of you sees why I didn't."

Shelby put her head in her hands. She groaned. Her sister was right. It was more complex than right and wrong. It was what it was.

"You said she told you to tell me?" Shelby asked looking up.

Joey nodded. "There's something going on with her." She shook her head. "With all of them." She took her sister's hand. "And I need you to know that I'm here to help you."

"Help me?" Shelby laughed. "Thanks a lot, Jo."

"Shelby, you're exhausted. I'm not saying that you're doing a bad job-"

"By telling me I need help, you are," Shelby hissed.

"Pride aside, Shelby, how the hell are you going to get all the kids to their appointments?" She watched her face as it fell. "Bear and I have nothing to do..."

"You're full of shit. You're crazy and he's the chief of police," Shelby shook her head.

"Let us help you. We'll follow your rules, always have." She sighed. "It can be like before."

Shelby shot up and slammed her hands on the desk. "I don't want it to be like before!" She screamed. She looked at her sister. "Before the kids were a wreck. Noah was fighting. Santana was trying to run away. Rachel hid in every small space she could find and we could barely get her potty trained before she started kindergarten. Santana was so...devious. I don't want it to be like before." She sighed. "It can't be."

Joey looked at her. "I meant that we were here helping more then. We carpooled. We came over to dinner more. We helped out."

"You're already over her at least once a week. I talk to you practically every day," Shelby scoffed

"You know what I mean," Joey said. "Let us help. We can be here supporting you."

"I'm not going to ask you to parent my children," Shelby said with an exasperated sigh.

"You still will be the parent, Shel," Joey said gently. "Asking for help doesn't mean you're a failure. It means you have people."

Shelby sat their quietly for a moment. "I can't fail them again."

"Parenting is all about failing, Shelby."

"I know that more than anyone," she muttered.

Joey looked at her sadly. "I know. I'm sorry, but all we can do is try to do this the best we can."

Shelby looked at her. "I have to get it right this time."

"You haven't done anything wrong with them," Joey told her. "You've poured your life into them."

Shelby looked down. "Then why does it feel like everything keeps falling apart."

There was a soft knock on the door. Bear peaked in. "We're back." The women nodded at him.

…...

Santana wrapped her arms around Rachel as they sat together at the counter. Rachel was standing and Santana was sitting on the bar stool, her arms draped over her. She stared at the door waiting for her mother and aunt to come out. Waiting for her shame to be real.

She looked over at her brother. He had a furrowed brow. He looked pissed or deep in thought. She made a mental note to talk to him later.

Her mother emerged into the room and she felt her heart constrict in her throat. She gave Santana a soft smile. Santana didn't know is she should smile back. She was at a loss.

Santana opened her mouth to say something, but her mother beat her to it.

"Guys, go upstairs and bring your work down here please," Shelby said calmly. She watched them all frown and exchange looks. "Go on." They all started toward the stairs quietly. "Santana stay here for a second."

She sighed. She knew she wasn't going to get away that easily. Joey led the others into the living room to the foyer and up the stairs. Shelby waited until their voices died away before she turned to look at her daughter. Santana chewed her lip unsure of what would be said.

"Hi," Santana said her eyes darting around slowly.

"Hi," Shelby said quietly. Santana could see the exhaustion in her mother's eyes and could not help but feel more guilty.

"I'm sorry," Santana said honestly as she looked at her mother and then at the floor. "I know you're mad and disappointed and angry and..."

"Santana, look at me. I love you," she said simply. "More than I know that you love yourself." She shook her head. "I wish that you could see how much I love you."

Santana shook her head. Her mother was always saying shit like that. She looked at her mother with a tilt of her head. "Don't do that. I …. Please... just... I hate that you know... And I …." She shook her head. "I …. I didn't want anyone to know. This was me... and then last year...I realized that... I just... I couldn't." She bit her lip. "I just needed something for me...I know I failed but I thought... I thought... I could fail it would just be me... Just me..."

Shelby cupped her daughter's face. "There's nothing you can do to fail me," she whispered. She looked into her eyes and saw Santana look away. "Please look at me." Santana continued to look away. "Santana." She finally looked up. "I know that you blame yourself for what happened. I know that. And I hate that man every day for allowing you to think that, but you are so much greater than that."

Santana shook her head. "Mom, an Oprah speech isn't going to fix it." She looked at her quietly. "Please don't try." She looked at her with tears clouding her vision. "It's not that... I always knew that you loved me..."

Shelby gave a nod as she understood what her daughter couldn't say as she trailed off. "You don't think you deserve it," she finished.

Santana shook off her mother and wiped her tears. "You know now. I know that you know... and I won't... And I don't …. I can't talk about it with you anymore."

She looked at her daughter honestly. "Me neither. I'm exhausted. And you're exhausted. We won't talk about it anymore." Shelby soaked in her daughter's shock at her statement. "Tonight," Shelby clarified. "We will talk about this. You will also talk about this with Julia. I get that this wasn't about the men, San."

"Don't try to shrink me, Mom," Santana flared.

"Santana, tell I'm wrong," she challenged.

Santana silenced at that. They heard footsteps coming down the front stairs. She looked at her mother.

"Can we please not do this? I can't -"

"Fine," Shelby said. "Do you have any questions on your essays?"

"I have other homework too," Santana interjected.

"Good thing it's only seven-thirty then," Shelby retorted. "Plenty of time for you to get your work done. Santana, I want one of those essays finished tonight."

Santana groaned. "You can't be serious."

"Do I look like I'm joking?" Santana huffed and sat at the counter. Rachel entered a room with her backpack and Quinn and Puck trailing behind. Shelby frowned. "Rachel, you don't have work. Go sit in the family room and watch a movie."

Rachel shot her mother a look and shook her head as she climbed into the stool next to Santana at the counter. "Rachel, go into the other room. Quinn and Noah start on your essays first. I want the first one finished tonight along with your other homework."

"This is bullshit," Quinn muttered as she pulled out her math text book.

"Please let me stay," she begged.

"Rachel, you talk too much when you have nothing to do," Noah said honestly.

The tiny girl frowned. "That's not true."

"It kinda is," Santana replied as she pulled out a notebook from her bag her brother brought down.

Rachel looks at Shelby. "Fine," she hisses and she hopped down from the stool with a huff.

"Rach," Noah warns.

"Don't, Noah! Just don't!" Rachel started toward the family room.

Joey entered the room just as Rachel stormed out of it. "I'm going to go home for the night and take Charlie and Bear. I'll be back in the morning to get Rachel."

"Why?" Santana frowned.

"Because she doesn't have school," Shelby said quickly. She talked over to her sister. "Thanks... I'll see yeah."

There was an awkwardness between the two of them. Joey nodded. "Call if you need anything."

Shelby shot her a tired look. "I think I can handle it for twelve hours, Joey," she said annoyed. Joey sighed and pulled her into a hug.

"Whatever you say."

Shelby gave a chuckle. "Damn straight."

Joey nodded and hugged Noah. "See you in the morning." She combed her hand through his mohawk and a shake of his head. "Love you. He nodded.

She walked over and pulled Santana into her arms. "Everything will be fine," she whispered into her ear.

"You always say that," Santana whispered in the hug. "Nothing's ever fine."

"Well, thank you, Debbie Downer," Joey said kissing her temple. "We'll talk about this later."

"Can't wait."

Joey stopped at Quinn. "Don't hug me," the blonde said quickly with a sneer.

"Fine," Joey said with a smile. "I love you and I will see you tomorrow."

"You don't know me how can you love me?" Quinn asked.

Joey shrugged. "I don't know. Just do."

She walked out of the room. Quinn shook her head. "I don't like her."

"She's something." Shelby shook her head.

She peaked around the corner and saw Rachel sitting on the couch hugging Joey. She returned to the older three. She noticed Quinn working on her other work.

"Quinn, you can work on your other work beginning at eight thirty. I want at least one thousand words written before then."

"You're kidding," she scoffed. She shook her head and pulled out a piece of paper. "None of this matters. I don't understand why you think it does. All it is is crap to me."

"Quinn, cut the attitude or you're going to get two essays like Santana," Shelby warned. "And if they're not finished on time you wash everything in this kitchen by hand as well as the windows."

"You're serious?"

"I am and because there will be so much to do. You wouldn't be going to Cheerios either." Shelby sat down at her desk against the wall. "So I suggest you begin writing unless you want to see how serious I am."

Quinn sat there an stared at the woman with deep indignation. She continued to sit there staring at her paper until Shelby announced that it was eight-thirty. She looked down at her paper. "Where I see myself in five years? Far far far away from here." That was it. That was all she wrote. She counted. Thirteen words. Crap. She looked up at Shelby. As much as she argued, she hated disappointing people. It was a sign of failure, of weakness.

"Well, Quinn," Shelby said looking over her shoulder. "I see you put some effort in here, but I expect something better tomorrow."

"Great," Quinn murmured.

Shelby peaked around the corner and Rachel was no longer sitting up watching the movie. She was sound asleep in the most uncomfortable looking position. She sighed. "Stay here," she instructed. "I am looking over your problem sets when I get back."

She went into the living room and picked Rachel up with ease.

"No," Rachel whined. "I'm not tired."

Shelby scoffed. "Okay," she said as she went up the stairs.

"Cansansleepwithme?" she muttered into Shelby's neck and she entered Rachel's room.

Shelby sighed. "We'll see."

She felt Shelby lay her down in her bed and started to change her. Rachel's body was practically limp. "Mom, noonelikesme," she mumbled with her eyes closed.

"What?"

"." Shelby pulled the nightgown over her head.

"What, sweetheart?"

"Schoolalonenoone," Rachel mumbled.

Shelby tucked her in. "We'll talk about this more tomorrow," she whispered as she kissed her on the forehead. "Go to sleep, bug."

"I'," she muttered.

"Yeah, okay," Shelby said as she closed Rachel's door most of the way.

She made her way back downstairs with tired steps and was surprised to not hear bickering. She rounded the corner and everyone was in the same position. To her surprise, Santana and Noah were actually writing. Quinn had moved on to her own problem set.

"Guys, move on to your homework please," she said as she took a seat back at her desk. "And hand me what you have."

She leaned back in her chair and started to read what the kids had written. She stared at them. She should read them. However, in this moment she felt as if she were splattered on the wall. These days had been exhausting. She looked down at the essays, she needed to wait. She turned to her computer that was situated at the desk so that she could glance up and look at the kids and they didn't see what was on her screen. She double clicked a folder that she saved for occasions like this when she felt too exhausted to think.

"You have another hour, guys and then off to bed, okay?" she called out as she opened the folder.

Shelby returned her gaze to her computer screen and managed to put an ear bud in. She opened the first video. It was a series of home videos that she and Leroy had compiled when they were together of her and the kids. They had originally started because she was whining about missing moments with the kids when she was late at rehearsal or in school. He went above and beyond, like always. He had even arranged some of the music and put it together.

She pressed play.

Leroy's face came into video. He smiled holding the camera unsteadily at their old Brown Stone in Manhattan.

"Okay," he said with a wide smile. "Welcome to the craziness, Shel. You are off being busy and important." He walked down the hall in a way that she always told him that made her think of an cracked-up version of the Blair Witch Project. "Okay, we're waking up the monsters now." He smiled at the camera and opened a door with a big spaceship on the door. Leroy pointed to it. He whispered, "He said he is too old for rocket ships. Being eight is hard."

The camera tilted and an eight year old Noah was sprawled out on his bed. "Noah," Leroy sang. "Wake up, lazy bones."

"Dad!" Noah groaned. He covered his eyes and then peaked through his fingers. "No camera! No camera!"

Leroy chuckled. "Come on let's wake up your sisters."

Noah slowly uncovered his face and a mischievous smile. "Okay." He climbed out of his bed and Leroy followed him as he ran out of the room and down the hallway to a large door with a big picture of on Buttercup from the Powerpuff Girls on it. He ran in. Leroy whispered in the background, "Oh, man. This is not going to end well. Sorry Shel."

The camera watched as Noah ran into Santana's room and pig piled on top of the sleeping form. Six year old Santana groaned. "You suck!" she screamed.

"Santana, watch your language," Leroy said. "Noah, get off your sister."

Suddenly a cry was heard off camera. "Looks like you guys woke up your sister."

Santana sat up. "Daddy, can I hold the camera while you get Rachel?" Shelby remembered scolding Leroy for letting their six year old hold the camera. The camera then teetered after Leroy as he went back into the hallway and landed on the last door at the end of the hallway with a music note on it. He opened the door and Rachel was sitting up in her crib looking through the bars.

"Hey there, bug," Leroy said picking Rachel up and resting her head on his shoulder. "Did you hear all that noise? Look at you sitting up on your own."

"At least she's not falling like a domino," Noah said with a chuckle. The camera turned in a way that Shelby could tell that Santana looked at her brother, most likely frowning. "Hey, it was funny. We would sit her up and she'd fall over..."

"Noah, go get on your swim trunks, you guys have lessons this morning."

"Is Rachel swimming too?" Santana asked as the camera sagged as her hand came into view as she reached up and took Rachel.

"No, Taz," Leroy said with a laugh. "Not yet."

Shelby laughed to herself as Rachel reached out and began to grip onto Santana's face. Leroy took the camera and aimed it at the girls. Rachel giggled as she grabbed at Santana's nose.

"Daddy, she's picking my nose," Santana said with a laugh.

"She's not. She's just... getting to know you," Leroy laughed and the camera moved with his chuckles.

"I don't pick other people's noses to get to know them," Santana said with frown.

"Well you're six. She's six months," Leroy chuckled. "Go on and get changed."

Shelby watched the film stop and her mind drifted as she thought about the life she used to live.

"Shelby," she heard Leroy's voice. "Shelby?"

"What?" Shelby asked with annoyance.

"What is up your butt today?" he asked with a smile kissing her on the cheek.

She shook her head. "I don't know. I just... I don't know." She bit her lip. "We need to talk."

His smile faded and he nodded. "Yeah... I know..." He chewed his lips. "San and Noah are asleep and..." He licked his lips. "I know that these past few months have been weird with us and..."

Shelby looked at him. She couldn't let him say it. She had a feeling that he was going to state the obvious: Their friendship wasn't enough for this marriage. They weren't enough for each other. The thing was she knew that. However, she wasn't strong enough to handle this alone. She couldn't. So without grace, care of consideration she spit it out.

"I'm pregnant," Shelby said.

He frowned. "What?"

"That night... St. Patrick's Day," she chuckled at the irony. "Remember? When you and I pretended that everything was okay?"

He put his hand over his eyes. "What?" He shook his head. "Shelby, we already have two kids. I love them. So much. But..." He shook his head. "I didn't know that …. You...you know..." He looked at her.

"Well, quite frankly Leroy, you and I haven't done it in awhile... So no, I wasn't on birth control," she said with a sneer. She looked at him with a frown. "God! I didn't want this either. Did you think I wanted to trap you? My career is just starting again...and I …..." She licked her lips. "Do you want me to get rid of it?" she asked honestly.

"God, no," he spat. "I just..." He shook his head. "This just wasn't in the plan..."

"No shit," Shelby hissed. She leaned on the counter and put her head in her hands. "If you don't want to do this with me..." She shook back tears. "You don't have to."

He looked at her. She searched his eyes. She was afraid he was going to turn away from her. She was afraid he would leave her and not just as a spouse. He was thinking, deeply. She knew he too was holding on desperately to this. "No matter what you're my best friend," he said finally. "I'm not ready to give up on us." He wrapped his arms around her and put his hands on her stomach. "She'll be brilliant."

"It's the size of my thumb. You don't know it'll be a she." She arched her brow but leaned into him.

He laughed allowed her to break her frown. "Of course. It's a she."

"You're so pompous. Someday you'll be wrong," she laughed leaning her head back against his shoulder.

He shook his head. "Nah. I won't be wrong." He kissed Shelby softly on the neck. "She's our chance to start over. And you know what?" She looked at him. "I'll bet she'll be exactly like her mother. Beautiful." He kissed her. "Smart." He kissed her again. "And a huge, loud pain in my butt."

"I'm going to laugh when this child comes out all hating music and crazy and a he," Shelby laughed. "Because you'll be wrong."

He kissed her again. "Don't talk about Rachel like that."

"Leroy, you can't name her. She's a size of a pea. Jesus. Now you have me thinking it's a girl. It's too early." She turned and looked at him seriously. "Are we really doing this? We've been having problems. We can't fix it with a little tiny life-"

"Rachel," Leroy corrected.

"I'm not calling her Rachel," Shelby said. She shook her head. "The only reason you want to call her Rachel is because you have an obnoxious obsession with Jennifer Aniston. Friends is over-rated."

He laughed and kissed her. "Rachel's already mad that you're making fun of her name." He leaned forward and looked at Shelby's stomach. "Aren't you Rach?"

Shelby groaned and pulled Leroy back up by his collar. "We were just fighting two seconds ago and now you're talking to our child... who has no sex yet... and naming it..." Shelby shook her head. "I don't want this to be just some fantasy game that we play to cover up our problems."

He chuckled. "Well, I know what kind of fantasy games you like to play."

Shelby smacked him in the arm indignantly. "Inappropriate!" She sighed. "I'm being serious right now. Can you please be serious?"

His smile faded slowly. "We can do this. We can be old and grumpy together just like we said in our vows..." He looked at her hands as he held them. "I'm not going to give up on this family. We'll be okay."

She frowned and looked at him.

"I don't want you regretting this in two years, Leroy," she said. "I refuse to be that person for you."

"You won't, but I'm not going to give up on what we built without a fight," he said looking at her. "and I realize that I haven't been fighting enough. And I will."

She stared at him. She knew in that moment as a best friend she should tell him no. She knew that she shouldn't allow him to stay with her, but she also know that she didn't want this to end. She pulled him into a kiss. It was then that she allowed herself to live the fantasy.

"Mom?" Santana asked looking over her computer. "What are you doing?"

"Nothing," Shelby said. "What are you doing?"

"It's ten o'clock." Shelby sighed and turned off her computer. She looked at her daughter with a weak smile. "Rach wants you to sleep with her." Santana looked at her in surprise. "You can. Go upstairs." She nodded. "I love you a lot."

Santana nodded and headed up the stairs.

…...

Quinn blinked and stared at the ceiling. Shelby had tried to get her to stay in bed. That lasted for about five minutes. She felt her stomach gurgle. She was hungry. She just needed something little. Also she needed more than anything to get out of there. She needed to go for a walk and swing at the park. She wasn't running away but she needed to clear her head.

She climbed out of bed and pulled on jeans and a tshirt. She remembered seeing Shelby push the buttons on the alarm. She knew the code. She would slip out and then...

What was that smell?

No... She was imagining it...She opened the door to her bedroom. Nope. There was no imagining. Someone was cooking bacon.

She walked down the stairs. It was one o'clock in the morning. Who the hell was - She cut her own thoughts off. There at the counter was Puck. He was flipping what looked like pancake number ten.

"You're such a pig," she said from the doorway.

He looked up in surprise. "Thanks." He held out a plate. "Want some?"

"I came for the bacon," she sneered sitting at the counter.

He scoffed. "For some reason I'm not surprised." He laughed. "I remember after that night of wine you demanded in your angry-scary Quinn voice that I buy you a bacon cheeseburger. You were very specific."

"That surprised you?" she asked.

"Yeah," he said honestly handing her a plate. "Because you never seem to know anything else that you want. But you like bacon..." He thought. "You're such a weirdo."

She nodded and looked quietly at the full plate.

"Heard your thing with your mom didn't go well," Puck said casually.

"Well... yea... but I have a feeling you were expecting that..." she said with a glare.

He shrugged. "The first meeting is always hard."

"How would you know," Quinn said taking a bite of bacon.

"When San and I first saw Mom after everything... San was a wreck. She spent most of the time throwing things and hitting her... I think we had to end early that time. I didn't start to cause trouble until we moved back in with her," Puck said before he shoveled an entire pancake into his mouth. He caught Quinn's look of confusion. "I told you right? That you know... after my …. uh... after... Hiram, CPS had to do an investigation on my Mom so... all three of us were in care for a few months." Quinn frowned deeper. "What?"

"Are you serious?"

"It wasn't really a secret," he said with his mouth full. "I knew you were googling our family... so... You just need to ask..."

She looked at him. "Are you kidding me?"

He shook his head. "Rach was in the hospital most of the time. San and I were at the shelter for a little before I got moved to a family and-"

Quinn was so confused. Since when was Puck this talkative. Was he drunk? or high? "Shelter?"

He nodded and another pancake disappeared into his mouth. "Yeah... it's like a holding place for kids before they get foster homes." Quinn couldn't help but feel guilt in her stomach. While she and Santana had arrived at a new understanding, she just assumed that Santana had no idea what she was going through... or at least not that much. "Santana didn't get placed. She was too... She threw too much. And Rachel didn't either. Rach joined her at the shelter. There was a full nursing staff there... and Rachel needed that..."

"But... you have relatives that like you," Quinn said with a frown. "Why didn't they just ride in on their white horses?"

Puck frowned. "They all were out of state and they wanted us to stay together. We found out later that CPS knew that they were going to reunite us back with our Mom... I mean were were only in the system for a few months. Most of the cases last for a minimum of six months to a year. I don't know it's complicated because they were out of state and the case was such a high profile..." He shook his head and gobbled up another pancake. "Why are we talking about this?"

She shrugged. "I don't know."

"I'm …. just saying, Quinn," Puck looked at her with a small smile. "Maybe your mom will come around."

She looked at him with glossy eyes. "My mom isn't your mom," she said. "She never will be." She looked at her hands. "I'm glad you dumped Shitney-"

"Don't call her that," he groaned.

"You can do better than that," she said. "Like maybe you can date someone human next."

"We weren't dating," Puck interrupted.

"Yeah you were," Quinn said taking another tiny bite of bacon.

"What are you guys doing?" a voice asked from the door.

They turned and saw Shelby with her hands on her hips.

"Hey," he said sheepishly. "Just... um... I was hungry?"

"Noah, was that a question?" Shelby asked tiredly.

"No?" he asked again as he shoved pancakes into his mouth.

"Noah, no need to rush. Finish chewing and go to bed. I'll wake you up early so you can come down here and clean up this mess." Shelby examined Quinn as she spoke. "Why do you look like you're going somewhere?"

Quinn looked at her and straightened. "I just wanted to go for a walk."

Shelby groaned. She looked at Quinn's plate. "You really need to try and eat something. You hardly touched your dinner."

The blonde girl stared at the food. It wasn't that she didn't want to. It was that she couldn't eat a lot. She got enough to keep her alive, but a meal was just too big. It was too much.

Quinn stared at her plate. It was her favorite meal. She refused to tell her parents though. She was sure they would stop serving it if they found out she liked it.

She was in the kitchen washing dishes when she felt an arm snake around her middle. She looked down. It was her father's. He had buttoned up his work shirt and cuffed it. She swallowed. He had been acting so strangely with her, touching her more, lingering his hand on her bottom after he punished her. She was twelve years old. She knew what that meant because of the whispers of sex amongst her classmates, but she wasn't sure why her cruel father was being like that with her.

The arm tightened around her and he felt his other hand rub her back over her dress.

"You certainly enjoyed your meal this evening, Quinn," he said into her ear.

"It..It was delicious," she whispered trying to continue washing as his hand slipped under the back of her collar onto her bare back. "Daddy?"

"Hush, Quinn," he hissed. "Your mother is in the other room."

His hand wrapped around her middle fisted the front of her yellow dress and began to slowly push it up.

"Daddy, please, I'm sorry. I … Please," she cried softly still holding the plate in the sink.

"Hush, girl," he hissed. He slipped a hand under the waist band of her tights. "You'll like this."

He began to tease her opening with his fingers and his thumb grazed back and fourth over something that caused her body to shiver and jump and drop of her place. She felt tingling and the need to pee at the same time.

"Told you," he chuckled. He pulled his hand out and clamped his hand around her arm and pulled her into the study.

He put her hands on his desk. "Bend over," he ordered.

"She had no choice as he bent her over and lifted her dress and yanked down her tights and underwear.

She let out a sob. He brought his hand down hard against her exposed bottom.

"Shut up or I'll belt you," he scolded. "And I promise you won't sit for weeks."

She bit her lip as his hand ran over her bottom. "Spread your legs." She shook. His hand came down again, thrusting her whole body forward. "Spread them!"

Quinn followed. Suddenly she felt his fingers enter her. She cried out. He reached his other hand around front and began to massage the place that made her tingle while his other hand thrusted in and out. She bit back a moan. Did she like this? Suddenly her heart caught in her throat. Oh, God, did she? His pace continued. Suddenly, she started to get a weird feeling. She started to feel as if she needed to pee. A fear froze in her heart. If she peed on her father she didn't know what she would do... what he would do.

She trembled because she couldn't hold it. She couldn't. She was going to get beat. She squeezed her eyes shut hoping to hold it a little more, but she couldn't.

Then it happened. She felt as if she exploded. She trembled in her father's arms hoping that he wouldn't hurt her too much.

He chuckled. She froze and frowned.

"That's my good girl," he said with a smile in his voice. "I knew you would like it."

He wiped his hands on her dress. "Fix your clothes."

She nodded. Her tights and underwear now felt wet. She wasn't sure what her body did, but whatever it did, she was left with its memory.

She bowed her head and looked at the floor.

"Look at me Quinn," he ordered. She looked up. "Anything we do is our secret. You got it? You know what I'll do if you go against me." He grabbed her chin. "Do you hear me?" She nodded and he squeezed tighter. "You're my daughter. I can do what I want with you. You enjoyed that because you're a slut and so I'll continue to treat you like one."

Quinn nodded as she felt a sense of foreboding in her heart knowing that she and her father had crossed a new line and there was no going back.

"Go finish up the dishes," he father ordered.

She nodded and returned to the sink with the dampness remaining between her thighs. She stared at the soapy water and the traces of the last favorite thing. As the bubbles began to disintegrate, she realized she couldn't remember why it was her favorite and now, it certainly wasn't.

She felt a surge in her stomach. She leaned over the trashcan and ejected it from her body. She stared at her vomit amongst the trash. She couldn't like it. Not anymore.

That had been the first time he had touched her like that. Games and touching like that continued until she was a freshman at McKinley. When it all first began, he didn't do anything while she slept. It was always after dinner, always in his study. Quinn frowned. She didn't remember the last time she had a whole meal. She ate enough to get her through the day and especially practice. Little bars. Sue's drink. That was it. Meals... She couldn't do it. Not anymore.

"No thanks," Quinn said. "I'm fine."

Shelby put her head in her hands. The girl had never seen the woman look more tired.

"Please, Quinn," she said. Quinn braced herself. What was she going to ask of her now. "I know that you want some space, but at two in the morning isn't the time." She sighed. "I know you're used to being alone and I know that this is a hard adjustment." She shook her head. "You're a smart girl. I know you are. Straight As." She looked at her honestly. "What is it that you want from me? Other than space?"

Quinn looked at her. She never felt so conflicted before with Shelby and especially never this guilty. "I appreciate everything that you've done for me …. but..." She looked at her hands. "It's not... I can't go to Florida... not because I don't want to." She looked at Shelby. "It's not my place. This is not my family."

"Then who is, Quinn?" Shelby asked with exhaustion.

Quinn looked down at her hands. "No one," she said as tears fell.

Shelby stood up and pulled Quinn to her despite the girl's quiet protests. "I know you don't think that you deserve good things, but I love you. And if you walk out that door, I'll still love you and I will chase you down and bring you back. If you start another fight at school, I will still love you. If you start another fight at home, I'll still love you." She looked down. "There's nothing that you have ever done or ever can do that will make me stop loving you as exactly who you are." Quinn's teary eyes searched Shelby's.

"You don't know," Quinn sobbed. "You don't know what I've done."

Shelby hugged her and kissed her temple. "That's true, but I know who you are and you're incredible. I will fight for you and love you."

"Please stop saying that," Quinn said pushing her away. "I am a lying slut. I know that." Her body shook. "You pouring all of this love and energy and time into me and pretending that I'm one of the family hurts. It hurts!"

Shelby watched the girl fall to the floor. "I've never pretended with you, Quinn."

"Haven't you? You treat me like I'm a part of this family like I deserve to be!" Her hands flew up as she talked. "I don't! You have your own children to focus on and you bring in dear old me."

"Do you know why I brought you in, Quinn?" Shelby asked.

"Because of who you think my mother used to be!" she spat.

"No," Shelby said shaking her head. She took a deep breath. "Because one day a file came across my desk at work, they needed me for a consult."

"I'm a file to you?" she hissed pushed her away.

"No," Shelby said clearly. "I didn't open it at first because I saw the name at the top of the file. Your name. I knew that I wanted to help you through whatever was in that file. I knew I wanted to help you before I opened the file, before I knew anything."

"You're lying," she said. "You don't know me! You don't know anything about me! Don't pretend that you wanted me because of me and because of just looking at my name on a stupid file that came across your desk."

"I remember Quinn, when we first moved here you were always the last to get picked up from school. Always. I even gave you my card once, remember?" Quinn looked at her as she took deep, exhausting breaths. "You and my daughter may have never been friends growing up. I knew that. Whenever I saw you, you had such old eyes. It's not pity. It never was. I just...I wanted... When your file came across my desk, I thought to myself, maybe this will be a chance for her."

"You felt bad for me," Quinn sneered.

Shelby shook her head. "No." She looked at her honestly. "I wanted to give you a chance to not have to be so old. I wanted to help you find that spark, maybe regain some innocence."

Quinn pushed her away. "I lost that a long time ago," she hissed.

Shelby took her hand. "It's never too late to start over and get some of it back."

"I need you to stop," she whispered.

"Too bad," Shelby said with a tiny smile. "I can't and I won't."

…...

Santana walked down the hallway and looked around wondering what people thought of her. She threw daggered stares at people who looked at her too long. She wasn't in the mood. The house had been a mess that morning and everything that weekend had been too exhausting for words. She felt so full and confused. Brittany was Brittany. She sighed. She knew that they weren't gay; she definitely wasn't. She knew that. But she loved her. It was an unspoken truth. She frowned deeply as she stopped at her locker. But it wasn't as simple as that. It never was. It wasn't about being who you were and shit and having it rain puppy dogs and rainbows with a side of dancing singing penguins. Life didn't allow absolutions. It kinda … she thought hard as she stared into her locker... Life just kept hitting you in the head. She frowned. Was that it? She shook her head. It was true. Things just weren't simple. It wasn't about accepting herself and skipping along down a happy free-to-be-you-and-me path. Instead she felt like she was falling into a neverending dark cavern surrounded by crazy fire whipping assholes trying to remind her of how much she could never get it right and never would. She shook her head. Clearly, she was losing it. The conclusion was still the same though: She didn't... She couldn't... Everything that had happened seemed too exhausting to absorb. It wasn't easy to love. It wasn't even easy to like. It wasn't easy to be loved. None of it was easy. And it certainly wasn't a battle that she wanted to fight.

She sighed and stared into her locker. Enough of this self-introspection Oscar Mayer Bologna. She reminded herself to thank her butt-head brother later for causing her to think too hard about herself just because he decided to do the horizontal mambo with dip-shit Barbie. She shook her head angrily. Fucking, dip-shit Barbie. She was such a royal pain in the ass. At least her brother could date someone who wasn't a moron. She frowned and made another mental note: Teach Noah the difference between moron and human.

She stared at her locker. Focus, Santana, she scolded herself. It's only Monday. She looked at her locker with a relaxed and satisfied smirk. There was a picture of her and Brittany and the squad winning Nationals last year. There was a picture of her and Brittany after a meet when they were younger. Tucked on the left side of her locker wall was a picture of Rachel when she was eight doing her obnoxious pouty face. Santana put that picture up reminded her to suck it up and pack it in. There was another of her family. On the door of her locker was a drawing that Rachel drew of the two of them. She scoffed. Rachel was a lot of things but a portrait artist wasn't one of them. There was a button from her father's jacket that fell off on the elevator that day taped into the corner of her locker. Several pictures of her and Brittany and other Cheerios confettied the walls of her locker. The Cheerios kept her sane and focused. She looked closely at a few of the pictures with a squint. Quinn was even in a few of them. It was funny how things turn out. She sighed and reconsidered. It wasn't actually. Nothing about it was that humorous at all.

"Hey," a voice said interrupting her.

She smiled and turned to the the group next to her, five of her closet friends and senior Cheerios smiled at her.

"You've been staring at your locker for so long, we were afraid you were going to fall in," Sophia Davis said with a grin.

Santana shook her head. "Don't worry about it," she said with a laugh. "Just a long night."

"Yeah?" Lys Niles, another senior asked. "Everything okay?" Santana laughed. That girl was always ready to talk about feelings.

Santana nodded. "Nothing to worry about."

"You sure, because we were starting to think you were going to fall into that rabbit hole you call your locker," Dani Keller interjected.

"Seriously," she assured. "I'm fine."

Kelly O'Malley frowned. Santana knew that frown. She swore that as soon as her friends became seniors they became all sorts of sentimental and Kelly was the worst. "Are you sure you don't want to talk about it? I know that you're emotional levels are paralyzed like that Superman guy in a wheelchair-"

"Pretty sure he's dead," Maribel Vasquez interrupted. "And I'm sure that that was remarkably rude."

Kelly quirked her eyebrow and turned her gaze back to Santana and the others. "But incredibly true. Right, San?"

"Yes, I'm emotionally frozen in time," Santana said in a singsong voice with a roll of her eyes. "What's your point?"

"Well... we're here if you want to talk. You've seemed especially... " Kelly shrugged. "Emotionally retarded lately. -"

"Still rude," Maribel interrupted.

"Hush," Sophia said. "Is it because of Q?"

Maribel leaned forward in a whisper. "All of us know about her dad..."

Santana's face hardened. "You don't," she snapped. She loved her friends but they were the worst at gossip. "I told you guys not to talk about that."

Dani rolled her eyes. "We don't..." She rethought. "Only to each other."

Santana frowned. "Seriously. Q might be a lot of things but I think of her as my family now and I know you girls do too."

"Yeah, yeah," Lys said. "Hos over bros or whatever."

Santana nodded, surveying the crowded hallway. "Thanks for the concern girls, but I'm good." She gave a smirk. "I appreciate it though."

"We gots your back, San," Kelly said. "You may be second in command or whatever because you can do that thingy in the air but we're seniors." She draped her arm around the brunette's shoulders. "We have our own power."

Santana rolled her eyes. "Yeah, I know. You remind me all too often."

"There's a reason we're going to bring home another national's title," Sophia smiled. "And it's not Sue."

Suddenly a girl went sprinting by covered in slushy. The girls chuckled. "Isn't it a little early to be throwing slushies?" Santana asked.

"Haven't you heard?" Dani asked. "Your newest family member is on the war path this morning."

Lys shook her head. "That girl is the third girl this morning to get slushied."

Kelly nodded. "I don't know what type of family activities Mama Corcoran is leading, San, but the HBIC is back and thirsty for blood."

Santana groaned. "Lovely."

"Hey," Brittany said walking up to them staring after another freshman slushy victim. "Quinn's on the prowl I see."

"Apparently," Maribel remarked.

"Speaking of prowl," Kelly said with a hint of mischief in her eyes. "Whitney is being especially pissy lately. What's going on there?"

Santana smirked. "Well," she said with a glint in her eyes. "She and my brother got caught having sex at the bonfire... by my mother..."

Maribel scoffed. "You're kidding!"

She shook her head and folded her arms over her chest. "Nope. I had the unlucky displeasure of being present when they were caught. It was like that tenth dimension of hell." She looked at her friends. "Seriously."

Dani laughed. "That girl is one hot mess."

"I don't even know why she's on the squad," Sophia said.

"She's clearly terrible," Kelly remarked.

"Well, no one likes her not only because she sucks," Lys said.

"But because she's a McBitch," Maribel finished. She looked at her friend's who were staring at her in surprise. "Well she is."

Brittany nodded. "She's definitely a bitch." Santana watched Brittany closely after the comment, wondering if the girl knew something she didn't.

The warning bell rang interrupting them.

"Get to class kiddos," Kelly said with a smile.

"We're sophomores, Kelly," Brittany said. "Not five."

"But sophomores nonetheless," Lys laughed.

"Bye, bye, babies," Sophia waved.

Santana rolled her eyes as the five seniors disappeared into the crowd and turned to Brittany. "Hey."

"Hey," Brittany smiled. "Can we talk?"

"Now?" Santana asked wondering if she was actually suggesting skipping class.

"Yeah," the blonde smiled. "Now."

…...

"You look like crap," Mike said with a grin as he took a seat next to Puck.

"Thanks, man," he frowned.

"Long weekend?" he asked as the class began.

Puck sighed. "You have no idea."

"Well you're nutso ex is out in the hallway trying to get your attention," Mike said motioning toward the door.

He groaned. "She's not my problem anymore."

Mike shrugged. "Do whatever you want, but she has something to say." The two of them looked at the desperate girl at the window. "And I don't think she'll go away until you let her say it."

Puck huffed and asked for a bathroom pass. "What?"

She reached out to take his hand and pull him into an empty classroom. He yanked his hand back, but followed her.

"What do you want?"

"I'm going to give you one last chance to get back together," she said as if she was doing him an enormous charity.

He put up his hands and started out the door. "I don't need this right now," he said.

"Puck!" she yelled out to him. "Please."

He groaned and looked at her. "What do you want from me?"

"Us. I need us. It's our senior year." She was looking at him with more genuine emotion than he thought was possible.

"Whitney," he said with a shake of his head. "I can't. You and I had fun, but we're not... There was never an us."

She looked at him with a frown. "You're a dick," she scorned.

He kneaded his lips together with a slow nod. There was the Whitney he knew.

"There was something between us. You cared about me."

"Because you were my friend," he said.

"Who you fucked!" she shouted. "You are the worst boyfriend!"

"I never said that I was your boyfriend," he said again. "We didn't do labels. I told you that I wasn't into that."

She shook her head. "I can't believe I let you lead me on for this long."

He scoffed. "Yeah, I don't know. I never promised you anything. I never even tried."

"Don't blame this on me, Corcoran."

"You're the one who just called me out of class to YELL AT ME!" He waved his hands in the air. "Forget it, Whitney." He started for the door. "Whatever this is. We're done. Yeah I might have been a shitty boyfriend, but to me I was never your boyfriend."

She glared at him as she left the room. She was going to have the last word. And she knew exactly how to get it.

…..

Skipping wasn't hard. Brittany and Santana had done it before their freshman year. It was amazing how easily it was to just walk out of school. As much as it felt like a prison, you could still come and go with leisure as long as you walked around with a pass in your pocket.

Santana turned to Brittany. They were now sitting in the always silent auditorium balcony. "What's up?"

Brittany sighed. "What are we doing?"

She laughed nervously. "What do you mean?"

The blonde girl shook her head. "Clearly, we're more than friends." She looked at her hands. "I … I need to know where you stand." She chewed her lip. "It's confusing and I...I just need to know where you stand."

Santana looked at her. She started to shake her head. "I don't... I don't think I can do this with you."

She immediately saw the girl's face fall and she regretted her words. She needed to explain.

"It's not because of you," Santana said quickly. "It's just too much has happened and I don't... I don't know how to do this."

"And you think I do?" Brittany asked honestly. "They haven't really made a handbook on how to be gay in Lima, San, because I'm pretty sure everyone is stuck silent in their flannel closet." She sighed and began to pace. "But I know that I care about you. You're my best friend."

Santana watched her pace. The unspoken truth was on the tip of her tongue. It was there. It was right there. "I'm not gay," Santana said quietly. "I just love you." The blonde paced and was talking. Santana realized her words weren't heard because the paces and the cadence of Brittany's voice echoed in the watery cloud that filled her head. She forced herself to push through and listen.

"...I need you to explain it to me, San," Brittany's voice filtered back into her radar. She looked at her straight on. "I just... I need to understand."

"This weekend sucked," Santana deadpanned.

Brittany frowned. "What?"

"It fuckin' sucked," she said dryly. She licked her lips and took a deep breath. "My aunt told my mom about taking me to the clinic...about the guys..."

Brittany frowned knowing that her friend's history. "Okay..." she said slowly.

"I never liked any of those guys," Santana said lowly. "I never... felt …. anything...I never even tried."

Brittany shook her head. "Santana, I don't..."

"There's a lot that I haven't told you. There's a lot that I'm afraid to tell you." She frowned. "It's not that I don't love you. I do." Santana was too busy looking at the ground to see Brittany's look of shock. "That's always been true... and I realized that this weekend. That's not why I can't do this. I'm afraid of the looks and the whispers... but I'm also afraid of what we could be. You mean so much to me and I ….. I hope so so much," she squeezed her eyes shut still unaware of Brittany's loss of words. "I hope that you love me back. Too much has happened though, Brittany. I can't breathe. It's not just about accepting who I am …. who we are... I can't... I can't breathe...without you... But I can't let you in because I love you too much. You're too... I just... I can't... I can't do that to you and I can't. …... be with you because I'll ruin everything. You are my best friend. I don't want to bring you into this. I can't. I need you not to love me back. I want you love me... God! I'm not making any sense."

"Santana-"

"I'm scared and I can't do this. I love you but I can't do this. We cannot do this. We cannot be a we. Those guys never mattered to me... I just needed to fix... I just needed to understand... Do you hear me? We can't do this. We just can't. It's not an option. It's not a discussion. We just can't." Santana didn't realize that she couldn't stop talking. It was flowing out of her like an open drain.

"Santana-"

"When you know me, when you see how fucked up everything is, you'll want to leave. You'll have to. I can't love you..." She was like a runaway train. Her words and her explanation made sense in her head. Brittany couldn't love her. They couldn't be together. She couldn't be with anyone. She just couldn't. "I need you to see that. I need you to see that I have nothing to offer you. You don't want me. And I -"

"Santana, shut up!" Brittany shouted.

Santana frowned and looked at her with confused eyes. "What?"

"You said that you love me?" Brittany chuckled. "I was just... I just thought we would...I thought maybe this conversation would end with a date... but leave it up to you to skip over a few pivotal steps." Santana cracked a small smile. Brittany refocused. "Santana, I've known you for...forever... since you moved here. I know your past is complicated."

Santana shook her head. "You really don't," she said quickly. .

"Don't tell me you think I can't love you because you think you're too screwed up," Brittany said with a sharp tone.

Santana looked at her with fiery eyes. "You have no idea what you're talking about."

"I do!" Brittany yelled back and took a step forward. "I've been here! I've been at sleepovers when my mother puts your coat in the closet and you can't go get it! I've been at your house when I dropped a bowl and Rachel literally can't breathe and she has to go on that machine. I know you can't sleep without Rachel or without checking on her at least once and that you pretend that it's her that needs you when it's really you needing her. I have been there! You just have blocked all that from your memory." The blonde breathed heavily. Santana could feel her breath on her forehead but she refused to look up. "I've never pushed you to talk about anything and I never will. But that doesn't change my feelings about you." She felt Brittany's hand on her cheek and she tried her best not to lean into it. She leaned in, but she quickly pulled away.

"Well, it should," Santana hissed taking a step back. "You don't want to build something with me. You can't. How will we build a life? Have friends? Children?"

"Santana! We're sixteen fucking years old! All I want it to figure out how to graduate and get out of here. Why are we talking about children?" Somehow they were screaming. It always escalated until both of them were screaming. "I just... I want a chance to figure it out with you." She shook her head. "Why are you a million steps ahead?"

Santana looked at her tearfully. "Because I need you to see why this won't work...why it can't."

"Are you that desperate to sabotage your life?" Brittany asked quietly. Santana's silence was her answer. She cupped her face. "I don't know what happened but I know it was terrible but you can't let it ruin your life."

"It's not that easy to just put a band aid on it with words," Santana sneered backing away. "It's so easy for you to say sweet things. To want to fix it, but not everything can be fixed!"

Brittany reached out again. "Well, fine," she said. "Then let me be broken with you."

Santana looked at her in shock. Brittany was right. They were sixteen fucking years old; they didn't need this. "No, fucking way," she said quickly. "No."

Brittany leaned down and rested her forehead on Santana's and bushed the back of her neck. Neither of them noticed a new pair of eyes watching them because they were so caught in each other's touches. "It wasn't really a request." She licked her lips and felt her nose touch to hers. "If that's what's holding you back, San, then I will not give up on us."

"There is no us," Santana whispered.

"You already began the us when you said you love me," Brittany said pulling her closer.

"I can't," she whispered again.

"You think that now, but you will because I can't walk away from you." Brittany looked up and met her eyes. "I won't." Santana shook her head, but didn't pull away. Brittany leaned in and kissed her softly on the lips. She kissed her back with such promise and hope.

"Please can't we try," Brittany asked breathlessly. "It might be a clusterfuck. It will be fucking hard because of all of it. Everything that you said. The whispers, the talks, the huge weight that you carry on your shoulders." Brittany chuckled and nudged Santana, kissing her softly in the corner of her lips. "I'm scared and confused. I don't know if I'm a …. I don't know about labels but I know that every confusing feeling fills me up and empties out of me all at once when I think of you."

Santana tearfully looked at her. Their breaths still on each other's faces. "Please, Brittany."

"All I'm asking is for you to try," Brittany whispered. "So stop thinking about how you're going to fail."

Santana looked at her and leaned forward. She took a deep breath and looked into Brittany's eyes and as she drew her forward into a kiss, she let go and for the first time, she truly let herself fall.

…...

Shelby pushed open the doors to the CPS office. She was exhausted. It took her another hour to get Quinn to sleep. She ended up staying with her. She was then woken up by her alarm to remind her son to get up and wash the dishes. The morning turned chaotic. Rachel had a meltdown over something. Santana was pacing and acting strangely. When Joey finally arrived to get Rachel they were all running out the door. Then dropping the older kids off at school was an uphill battle. Quinn huffed about having to get her paper signed by her teachers, but took it. Shelby swore she saw a slight look in her eyes. Maybe she had gotten to her. Maybe. Noah and Santana bickered most of the way to school about everything and anything. By the time, they arrived at McKinley, Shelby just wanted them all out of her car. Now here she was at CPS, sure and ready for another fight.

She hadn't told Quinn that she knew about what Judy did, but she had managed to send an email to Jackie explaining the situation. It changed the case. It changed a lot. Shelby walked in, coffee in hand into Jackie's office. Gloria Hayes, the unit supervisor was already sitting there with her morning coffee in hand.

"Are we ready for this?" she said with a chuckle.

Shelby scoffed. "Nope."

She and Gloria went way back. They had dealt with several cases, but this had been the first where Shelby was the foster parent instead of a professional colleague.

"Is our ray of sunshine here yet?" Gloria asked.

Elyse took a seat next to Jackie. "I saw her pull up."

"Hold on to your hats, ladies," Gloria said catching Jackie and Shelby's eyes. "This'll be a long morning."

Shelby sighed and took a sip of her coffee.

Judy sighed and came into the room. She looked at the women. "I'm here," she sneered.

Gloria stood and held out her hand. "Gloria Hayes. We met yesterday."

Judy didn't take her hand. "I left a message on your phone. Let's step out and take care of that."

"I'm not doing that," Judy snapped.

Gloria nodded and said evenly, "If you don't, you can't stay here."

The blonde woman frowned and followed the older woman out with a huff.

Shelby looked to Jackie. "Breathalyzer?" she asked.

Jackie nodded. "I'm going to tell her about the trip you're taking to Florida this weekend. I don't want you to tell her." Shelby nodded. "She's already not going to like what we have to say."

Shelby scoffed. "Never does."

Judy reentered. "Good to go," Gloria said taking a seat.

"I told you," Judy snarled.

"Alright," Jackie said sitting down. "Let's talk about your behavior yesterday."

"I was having a bad day," Judy said. "Can't people have bad days?"

"They can," Jackie replied. "However, your behavior was not only inappropriate but harmful to your daughter."

"I never touched her," Judy hissed.

"Not yesterday," Shelby mumbled.

"Shelby!" Jackie warned.

"Sorry."

Jackie went on. "Your visits will be supervised here. We were going to try to outsource you to our other company that does visits in a more home-like environment instead of this office one, but you haven't been able to prove that you're ready for that."

Judy shook her head. "This is outrageous. She is my daughter."

"We understand that, Judy, but right now, she is a ward of the state. You have no parental rights here," Gloria explained. "If you hope to, you need to start cooperating and at least start showing your daughter some respect."

Judy scoffed. "Respect. You do not know Quinn."

"And you do?" Shelby asked. "Give me a break, Judy. You're not here for her. You're here for Russell you said it yourself."

"Shut the fuck up, Berry!"

"Hey!" Gloria scolded. "Enough! You two are acting like teenagers! Stop it!"

"But honestly, we're supposed to have a case plan here," Shelby continued. "Quinn was so shaken up after yesterday. I don't think she wants to come and see her. She's more afraid of what Judy will do to her if she doesn't. This is not okay for her."

Gloria and Jackie exchanged looks. "We know that this is hard for Quinn."

"I don't think any of you do," Shelby said putting her hands up. "I'm here to fight for Quinn. I know that ultimately so are the rest of you. But she lives with me. I have fallen in love with that little girl. Fight for her! She doesn't need this!"

"Shelby," Jackie said gently. "Calm down."

"This woman clearly is abusing my child," Judy sneered. "She just said she's in love with her."

Shelby leaned forward to shout something and Jackie pushed her back. "Judy, she is your daughter's parent right now. I haven't heard you ask one question about how Quinn is doing."

Judy tightened her lips. Jackie went on. "This woman has gone above and beyond for her. Actually, I will take the time to tell you now that Quinn will be going to Florida with the family over fall break."

Judy laughed. "No, she is not!"

"She is," Jackie said. "While you have no right as a parent, I wanted to let you know."

"She's not going," Judy said again.

Shelby smiled. "She is. And she'll have a marvelous time." Gloria shot Shelby a look. "Sorry."

"She's not going," the blonde woman said again.

"It's not a discussion, but perhaps you can discuss it in therapy. How's that going? Did you start that?" Gloria asked.

Judy shook her head. "This is bull! I don't need therapy."

"Your daughter is accusing your husband of sexually assaulting her," Gloria said calmly. "Professionally, I recommend that you speak to someone about that."

"My daughter is a liar."

Gloria looked at Jackie and nodded. Jackie licked her lip and took a deep breath, preparing herself for the storm. "The police are going to be asking you some questions," Jackie began. "Quinn has made some accusations about you. I wanted to prepare you for that."

"What the hell did she say?" Judy hissed.

"Please refrain from raising your voice. We won't talk to you if you raise your voice."

"I'll fucking raise my voice if I want to," she shouted. "What the hell did she say?"

"We're going to have to ask you to leave, Judy," Gloria said. "This meeting is over."

"No! No!" Judy shouted. Shelby watched as Gloria pulled out a panic button and pressed the button. She laughed and shook her head. "This is all crap!" She walked toward the door. "She probably said I hit her! She's a lying, selfish bitch!"

"Judy, leave right now," Gloria said. "The police have been called. I recommend you leave."

"No!" she shouted. "I want to know what she said!" She turned to Shelby. "What did she say? What did she say?"

Shelby narrowed her eyes at the woman. "Get out before you get arrested."

"Bitch!" Judy said launching herself at Shelby. Shelby immediately put her hand up and held Judy's forehead.

"Oh, lady, I would like to see you try to hit me," Shelby said as she pushed Judy away from her. A security guard stepped in and held Judy around the waist.

"Let me go, you imbecile!" Judy breathed heavily. "Fine," she shouted. "I'm leaving! Don't believe a word that lying bitch says.." She shook her head and started for the door but stopped. She turned with a chuckle and faced the team of women. "I bet she never told you she was pregnant." Judy watched with satisfaction as all of their faces looked back at her with a mixture of varied emotions. She looked Shelby in the eyes. "That's what I thought. Not only is she a liar, she's a killer too." She turned. "Have a good day."

…...

Your reviews keep me going and I'm so grateful. Thank you. There aren't enough words. I appreciate you all taking this journey with me. Please let me know what you think.

An off topic question: Did anyone catch the song that Brittany and Santana quoted in the last chapter right before Rachel's dance class started? If you know it, you and I will be best friends... because that song makes me smile... from ear to ear.

Also, this chapter is partially a result of no sleep because I tried a local coffee place's "power coffee" and then was offered a free bonus shot. At least 3390 of these words resulted from the all nighter from that coffee. I really hope you can't tell which... if you can... I'm sorry.

One last side note, i had a parent client who disliked me and was always rude during my visits. Right before he left, he always told me, "Have a good day." Yeah... bugged me.

Thank again for your endless support. It means a lot.