Chapter 10

Tris

After I shake Tobias awake and kiss him enthusiastically for a while, we shower and make breakfast. If you can call two pieces of toast with some outdated peanut-
butter breakfast. We get dressed, taking our time and stopping to hug or kiss about once every two minutes. I contemplate braiding my hair, but I'm too lazy for that. I settle for a messy bun, a pair of black skinny jeans and a black tanktop that shows off my tattoos. When I come out of the bathroom, Tobias is sitting on the bed in his briefs. He looks at me, his eyes taking in every detail, but not greedily. More like lovingly.
It still amazes me that he thinks I'm beautiful. When I look in the mirror, I see a 16 year old girl who looks like she's 12. I have a couple hints at curves, but not enough to please anybody. My ribs show, my nose is too long. I scrutinize every inch of myself. But when Tobias looks at me like that, like I'm the only thing he'll ever see, it's these moments that I truly feel beautiful. I walk up to him, grab his face in my hands, and kiss him passionately. He kisses each of my ravens, turns me around and kisses the tattoos of the Abnegation and Dauntless symbols on my shoulderblades. He leans back into the bed with his arms wrapped around my stomach, pulling me with him. "I think we should stay right here, exactly like this, forever," he murmurs into my hair. "I'd be happy. Happier. More happy. Whatever it's supposed to be." I laugh it his mistake, and kiss his cheek. "Sweetie, I'd love to stay in bed with you for the rest of my life, but we can't. Get dressed, or I'll make you." I wink at him. He chuckles and says, "In that case, I refuse." I playfully smack his ear, and he puts on his pouting face as he pulls on a pair of black jeans with a matching long-
sleeve shirt. I grab his hand, and lead him onto the couch. Time for another serious talk. "So, what are we doing today, love?" he asks me. I can see that he's happier than he's ever been, and I realize that I am too. The two of us are bubbly and happy. I'm glad Tobias and I did what we did yesterday, telling each other everything. I doubt he held anything back; there's not a question I didn't ask, or a memory he didn't share. And the same goes for me. I poured my heart soul out to him, and he did the same for me, and we broke every single barrier between us. We are truly together. I wouldn't want it any other way. I just hope what I'm about to say won't change that. "I think we need to make arrangements for going back to Chicago." It's still strange, knowing that our city has a name, and is only one of millions spread out across the entire world. We grew up thinking that our city was the only one; it didn't need a name, or a location. It just... was. I smile at his reaction. His jaw drops, and he's clearly at a loss for words. He most definitely did not see that coming. "I... you... what?!" are the words he finally comes up with, and I nod. "Yep." I smile at him, and reach over and shut his mouth for him, which is still hanging open. "Why?" "I... don't really know." I feel myself getting angry, but I'm not even sure who or what I'm mad at. "I just.. want to get the fuck out of this place. Forever. I never want to have to lay my eyes on this hellhole again. This place is torture for me. Anywhere I go is torture for me; it seems like just living is torture." Tobias flinches. I have no clue where my anger is coming from, but it's raging like a river. "In case you didn't notice, I almost died here, Tobias."
He stands up, and all I can see in his eyes is fury. I thought this wasn't going to happen anymore, we weren't going to fight, I fixed everything and why do I have to be so fucking stupid?
"Don't," is all he says. His voice is filled with venom, and I shy away from him. He twitches, as if to move towards me, but decides against it. Instead, he decides to continue. "Tris, don't you ever act like I wasn't by your side the entire time you were in a goddamn coma! Don't accuse me of not caring about you. Do not. Ever. Tell me that I didn't notice you almost die. YOU made ME almost commit suicide because I thought you died, Tris. I did notice."
I just stand across from him. Why are we even arguing? I got mad for no reason. I think Tobias and I need to leave here as soon as possible. "Why are we even fighting?" He throws his hands in the air and shrugs. "I actually have no idea, Tris. You tell me. You flipped out on me, for no reason."
I sigh. "I know. I have no clue where that came from. We're agreeing, for God's sake. I just... we need to leave, Tobias. This place is putting too much stress on us.
And I know that Chicago won't be stress-free at all, but I think I'll actually be able to stand it there. There's too much trauma here, too many bad memories. I have bad memories from Chicago. But they don't compare to the ones we made here. The memory of us almost breaking up. The memory of you leaving, thinking we'd see each other again. The memory of almost killing you. It's all too much for me, and for you. Let's leave. Please."
Tobias crosses the room and pulls me close to him, kissing my hair. "We will leave. Tonight. I promise you we'll be leaving this place in the dust in less than 12 hours."
I nod. "Good. I guess we should pack then."

After what little we have is packed in a couple duffle bags, Tobias and I walk to the door. Just as I'm about to open it, he turns around and surveys the room with a smile on his face. "What?" I ask him, and he turns to me, snapping out of his daze. "Well, I just thought of something. Not every memory we made here is bad." And he blushes. It makes me melt inside that I can make someone like Tobias, who almost has two different personalities, blush. I bring out the real him, and I'm proud of it. I grab his hand. "You're right. This room, will always be important to me. I overcame one of my biggest fears here. Now I'm Six, and you're Four." He smiles and kisses me gently. "But, that isn't all of it. That night.. I had no idea what to do. I was scared, because I'm skinny and gross-" "Odd how you define 'perfect'" he mutters, just loud enough for me to hear, and I blush before continuing. "I just knew that in that moment, I wanted to prove my love to you. And I couldn't think of any other way. I was ready, just like that. I'll always remember this room. I love you." And I kiss him again. We turn around, walk out of the room, leaving the door to swing shut behind us. Tobias stops, and fishes around in his pocket. What could he possibly be looking for?
But then he smiles at me, and pulls out the key to our room. "What do you want to do with it?" he asks me. That's a good question. Do we keep it as a keepsake, or throw it away?
I decide in a split second. "Chuck it." He frowns at me. "That was quick."
"It didn't take much thinking. All that key is, is a material possession. I'd rather keep the memory in my mind forever."
Tobias nods. "Me too." He looks down at the key in his palm, as if contemplating what to do with it. Without warning, he sprints back into the apartment with a pained look on his face. He returns a few minutes later, panting.
"Are you okay?" I ask him. "Yeah. I flushed it, and it wouldn't go down, so I had to plunge it." I burst out laughing and hug him. "Come on. Let's go tell the others."

Tobias

Tris and I walk around the Bureau for a while before heading to the dormitories where the others are staying. Even though we both despise this place, we realize that we'll miss it a bit. We visit the cafeteria, and the momument that they put up after the fountain blew up, putting Uriah in a coma. This is especially hard for Tris,
but I hold her as she fights the tears.
Eventually, we make our way to the dorms. Tris stops outside the door, and turns to me. "Can I ask you something?" she looks at me with a look that says she won't take no for an answer, she's just being nice by asking.
"Of course. You know you can ask me anything, love."
She nods, as if reassuring herself. "When you went back... to Chicago. What was it like?" "What do you mean?" I ask her, slightly confused. It was, well, Chicago. Maybe a bit different, with Abnegation being shot up and Erudite being annihilated, but it was still home. "Like... Everything. I need to know what changed, what stayed the same, before I can go there." She's having second thoughts now?
"Tris, it's either here or there. There's no in-between place we can just go to whenever we feel like it. Are you having second thoughts about leaving?" I'm slightly annoyed at her, and it shows in my voice. Tris sighs. "No, Tobias. I'm not having second thoughts. I'd rather be anywhere than here. I just... want to know what I'm getting into." I guess she has a point. "I guess you're right. How about we compromise? I'll tell you on the way there." She tilts her head at me.
"Are you... conceding?" she asks me, and my mind flashes back to our brief time in Amity. The time when we were unaware of the outside world. Before we almost broke up, before Tris almost died. Sometimes, I wish we never would have left. "Because, you're not very nice, and I'm not very nice, so that must be why we like each other so much."
I smirk, and kiss her gently. After about a minute, she pulls away. "I'm gonna ask them if they want to come." I nod. I was hoping for her to do that, because I know Tris will need her friends when we're in Chicago. She and I can't do it alone. "I was hoping you'd ask them that. I doubt Christina wants to stay here much longer. As for the rest, I don't really know." "Neither do I. Let's find out." And with that, she pushes open the door.
As soon as Christina sees Tris, she wraps her in a suffocating bear hug, and Tris winces. Christina pulls away, and apologizes. "Chris, it's okay. I missed you too. I'm fine. Can you get the others to come over here, please?"
Christina nods, looking confused, and tells Peter, Caleb, and Cara to join us. Once evryone is standing in a group, I clear my throat. I've never been good at talking to crowds. It isn't a fear or anything like that, but it makes me nervous. "Tris and I have to ask all of you something." Tris walks up beside me, and grabs my hand. "We've decided to leave."
She's met with a stony silence. "Leave?" Peter pipes up. Tris nods, her eyes hardening. "Why the hell would you leave?" Tris glares at him. She's cute when she's angry. "Well, Peter, in case you didn't notice, I almost died in this place. And it was torture. For both me and Tobias. Being in this place just reminds us of what we had to endure here, and we can't take that as individuals, or as a couple. So, we're leaving."
"Where are you going?" Christina asks, although they should all know the answer. Tris looks at me, and I nod. I take a deep breath. "We're going home. To Chicago."
Everybody stares at us. Not quite the reaction I expected. "Why?" asks Caleb, and he sounds angry. "All that place has for you are bad memories. For both of you. Why would you go back there?"
"To face our fears," says Tris defiantly. "I'd rather live in a place I know, a place I can call home, a place where some good things happened, instead of this...
chasm. That's all it is to Tobias and I, is a chasm. A gaping abyss of bad memories. And although a lot of bad things happened back home, we need to face them, and learn to live with them. And there's no better place to do that than home." I nod again. I don't really have to say much; Tris is a lot better at talking than I am. "We want you to come with us." They stare at us again, dumbfounded. They must think we're insane. "Look, the fact is, we're all friends here. Yeah, even you, Peter,"
Peter frowns and sticks his middle finger at me. "We made it through so much together, and I don't want to have to split up with you guys. We'll all need each other in the future. Think about it. We could make a life back in Chicago. Together. Please, consider it. We won't force you, but just know we'd greatly appreciate it. Tris and I are leaving at 8:00 PM tonight. You have until then to decide."
"Please, guys. I need you," Tris adds. "We'll be back here at 8:00, but if you decide before then, come find me or Tobias or both of us." With that, Tris and I turn to leave. "Well, I guess I'll go with you, Stiff. I have nowhere else to be, anyways." "Oh, for fuck sakes, Peter," Tris says exasperatedly. "I was hoping you'd be the only one to stay behind." I know she's only half-joking. Maybe a quarter. "Well, it's safest where the Stiff is..." he mutters, loudly enough for everyone to hear.
"Ha. As if." Tris snaps at him. She looks around the room again, and I notice her eyes skip over Caleb's. "That's one. 8 hours, guys."
And Tris leaves. I hurry to catch up with her. "Are you okay?" I ask her. "Yeah, I'm fine. I just didn't know what to expect. I really hope they come, Tobias." Tris bites her lip, and I can tell she's worried. "Don't worry, babe. It'll be fine." I'm pretty sure Christina and Caleb will come for Tris, but I don't know about Cara. I imagine she feels quite at home here, with all the computers and technology. She's also the least important one, but I can't say that to Tris's face. She'd insist that we're all equals. "If you say so." She grabs my hand, and we head to the cafeteria.

Within an hour, Christina comes up to me and Tris. "I'm coming," is all she says, and with that she turns on her heel and leaves. Tris turns to look at me. "Well, that was interesting." she says, and I nod. "I think she's just mad about the fact that we gave her a whole eight hours to think about it." Tris nods, and I kiss her forehead. "She'll get over it. Don't worry."
Throughout the rest of the day, the others all approach Tris and I to tell us they'll be accompanying us to Chicago. All except Cara. When 7:30 rolls around, Cara still hasn't come to us. We leave the cafeteria and head to the dorms, where we left all our stuff. When we enter the dorms, Tris gasps, and I see why. Everything is... bare. All the blankets, pillows, sheets. Everything that had been even a bit personalized has been removed. And there's nobody there. The stillness is almost eerie, and we can't bear it. We close the doors to the dorm, give it one last look, and head down to the main entrance.

Through the glass doors, I can see two large black vans, with people crowded around them, but in the dark I can't tell who it is. I grab Tris's hand, and give it a reassuring squeeze. I hold open the door for her as we exit the compound for the last time. The people gathered around the vans are Peter, Caleb, Christina, Zeke and his mother, and... Amar and George? Amar grins at me and pulls me into a hug. "Man, you think I'd be able to live here without you?" he asks me, and I just shake my head. "Are you two sure you wanna come?" I really hope that they aren't doing this for me. Amar nods. "Yeah, we're sure. We have some... catching up to do with certain people. And George wants to give his sister a proper burial. And besides; there's no place like home." He's right. I don't want to be anywhere else but home. And for me, home is where Tris is.
I look around at everyone. Nobody looks troubled, or worried. They all look determined, determined to leave the compound behind. "Is everyone ready?" I ask them, and they all nod, except Tris.
"Where's Cara?"
And that's when I realize that Cara is the only person missing. I glance at the doors, and I see Cara walk toward us, with Matthew behind her. Cara stops in front of Tris.
"I... I'm staying," she says, and Tris just nods. "This place, it feels almost like Erudite to me. Without Jeanine, and without all the corruption, now that David and the rest of them have had their memories wiped. And I think I could grow to love it here, if given the chance. And I'm giving myself that chance by staying." Tris pulls Cara into a hug, which stuns her, but then she returns it warmly. "I'll miss you," says Tris, and her voice is thick with emotion. Cara sniffles, the first real display of emotion I've ever seen from her. "I'll miss you too, Tris. And the rest of you, as well. Try to keep in touch." We all assure her that we will, and exchange our goodbyes. We pile into the two vans, Amar driving one and George driving the other.
I stand at the back of the van, staring out at the compound as it dwindles behind us. I feel an arm wrap around my waist, and Tris's lips on the back of my neck. "What are you thinking, Tobias?" she asks me, and I sigh. "I'm thinking how glad I am to be rid of this place for good. I couldn't bear to stay there any longer. I never want to see it again, as long as I live." Which I know now will be a long time. The war is over, and we can live our lives in peace. Tris turns me around, and kisses me, awakening a side of me that only Tris has seen. The side of me that is capable of love, and compassion. The side of me that I had no idea existed, until a gray blur fell into the net and I grabbed her hand. Tris leads me to a bench on the left side of the van, and lays her head in my lap. I stroke her hair as she falls asleep, and eventually I doze off too.

"Four. Four! FOUR! Wake up!" Amar's voice snaps me out of my daze, and I groan. "What time is it?" I ask him. "2:15. Wake Tris up. I need to show you guys something."
He looks worried, the most worried I've ever seen him, and I wonder what could cause that worry. "Meet me in front of the van in a couple minutes." I nod, and Amar exits through the double doors at the back of the van. "Tris, wake up." I press my lips to her forehead, and she swats at me weakly. "No." I chuckle. "Babe, it's important. Amar needs to show us something." Tris sighs and sits up, rubbing the sleep out of her eyes. "Come on."
I open the doors of the van and let Tris out. Together we walk towards amar, who is staring at something. "Look." is all he says, and Tris gasps. We're parked a few hundred meters from the gates into the city, or what was the gates. In their place is a smoldering hole as wide as the road. My breath catches in my throat. Neither of us speaks for a few minutes, until Tris breaks the silence. "W-what happened?" she asks Amar. Amar shakes his head grimly. "Nobody knows. I guess we'd better find out." With that, he gets back into the driver's seat of the van, and with heavy hearts we drive through the gates, dreading what lies ahead.

So, I know this chapter was really bad. I really struggled with it, and I don't know why. But anyways, the cliffhanger is nowhere near as bad as you guys are thinking. Let me know what you think. Please review, and thanks so much for all the views!

Sincerely, Quinn