Sorry it's been forever! I have no legit reason as to why I haven't uploaded, I just haven't uploaded

71. The Fog. Part I.

I opened my eyes from the darkness and I saw that where I was wasn't the apartment anymore. I had no idea where I was; all I knew was that I felt very warm. I felt like there was only positive things around me even though there was nothing around me. Actually as things became more clear I realized this fog-mist was suppose to be here. It was like the mist you see in horror films; the teenager or single woman goes by the mystique forbidden swamp and of course when they go all there is is a mist of gloom around the air. But this mystique fog was warm.

I took in a deep breathe of air and released it, finding myself clean. I've had that smoke taste in my mouth ever since I began smoking cigarettes and, eventually, weed, but my lungs felt totally clear now. Like nothing was in them. Nor did I feel high or drunk.

"Hello?" I called out. "Is anyone here? Hello?"

Nothing.

I took a few steps forward and found myself barefooted. When I looked down I saw myself wearing a white, short sleeve dress that ended near my knee caps and a gold glitter belt around my wait.

"Weird." I said.

I walked around the mist looking for...anything. But if I'm alone here than what was the point of walking around in an unknown area?

"Hello!" I called out. "Is anybody here!"

I walked further and further until I saw this bench. The bench was gray and had a couple of daisy flowers and peonies surrounding it. I walked over to the bench and sat on it. "Hello!" I called out again. "Is anybody here!?"

I didn't hear any calls or sounds. I sat there alone. What was I suppose to do here?

"I wished I had a cigarette," I muttered. Suddenly there was, in my was-once-empty-hand, a cigarette that was already lit. I smiled. I put the cigarette up to my mouth and inhaled the flavor. I pulled the cigarette out of my mouth and released the smoke. "Nice."

I finished the cigarette a few minutes later. I dropped it on the ground, picked up a rock and pressed it so that it could completely be crushed. I laid back on the bench and looked around some more.

"Hello!?" I called out.

I heard something. A giggle, particularly a small child's giggle. I stood up and listened for the giggle again. I heard it. I walked to the distance of the giggle, finding myself walking along a beach that appeared and still a gloomy mist.

I followed the giggle until I reached the end of the beach and saw a small child. The child was a girl, due to long brown hair, and had on a beautiful blue dress and was throwing a ball up in the air and catching it. She continued to giggle. I walked closer to the girl and realized that I don't think she could hear or see me. Just as I got closer to her, she turned around and I nearly fell backwards. This was me. I was seeing myself when I was about four years old. She looked at me with a huge smile before handing the ball to me. I took it slowly from her hands and looked at the ball. I glanced back up and saw that Mini Marley was gone.

"Marley?" I called out my own name. Strange. "Marley?"

"Marley!" I heard my Mom's voice call. Mom!?

"Mom!?" I called out.

I followed the sound of the voice, passing by a small playground, and coming at a stop by the swings. I remember these swings. I use to go on these all the time when I was a little girl. I looked around for Mom and found nothing at all.

"Mom?" I almost cried. Where was she?

I turned and saw Mini Marley again, with a young Mom and...Dad. We were having a picnic on a blanket. Mom looked so beautiful and Dad looked good too. Dad had me on his lap and was putting pudding on my nose and making me laugh. I stood there watching that. It was beautiful.

I shut my eyes for a brief minute before opening them and finding myself alone again at the park. Where were they? I heard these little girl voices from behind me. I turned around and saw a group of girls that I went to school with when I was younger. Connie and her crew. Thirteen year old Marley was curled up in a ball crying as Thirteen year old Connie and her crew continued to tease her. "Mary Jane! Mary Jane! Mary Jane!" I wanted to go over there and stop it, but I couldn't move my feet. What the hell?

I tried moving again but failed. After a third attempt I fell forward and hit the ground. Damn that hurt. I struggled to get up and when I finally did, I felt someone pulling me up too. When I got up I brushed myself of the grass bits sticking to me and brushed off my arms and hair too. I gazed to who picked me up and was in total shock. Mr. Schue?

"Mr. Schue?" I looked at him. Now I was really dreaming. Like...seriously dreaming.

Mr. Schue didn't say a word. Instead he pointed down a cobblestone path. The path wasn't lined up perfect, just bits and pieces placed closely to one another. I looked back at Mr. Schue with a puzzled face. Did he want me to walk down the cobblestone path? I guess this Mr. Schue guy could read my mind as he nodded. I looked from him back to the cobblestone path then back at him. Alright then.

I began walking down the cobblestone path. It was all dark and misty and creepy. Soon enough I came across a misty glow at the end of the cobblestone path. I kept moving forward towards the misty glow and walked into it. I was worried about where I was going in this misty glow.

I stepped out of the misty-glow and found myself in the back of the school auditorium. I could spot Mr. Schue and a few Glee members down near where his desk was. Why did this all seem familiar?

"Next audition...Marley Rose." Mr. Schue's voice echoed.

Like an out of body experience I looked on the stage and saw myself. My first time singing for Glee, in Glee. My newspapers boys cap, my sweater that covered the upper half of my stripe dress and my shoes. Definitely a healthy looking Marley to begin with.

"Hello. My name is Marley Rose and I will be singing New York State of Mind by Billy Joel." The girl on stage said.

The music began and I watched my own audition. I was good. I looked like I had little confidence, but there was some confidence in there too. I smiled at myself on the stage and as I came to an end I could feel a lot of positive warmth in the room.

There was another misty glow to my side. I walked into it, walked a little down into it, then came out and found myself in the Glee classroom in my pink sweater and jeans. Everyone was pretty warm and welcoming, except Tina looked annoyed. I rolled my eyes.

Another misty glow showed up. Again I walked through that and this time I was in a tunnel. The tunnel was still misty, but each side of the tunnel showed a memory from Glee club. First it would appear on the left, take a few steps forward and another would show up on the right, take a few steps forward and another would show up on the left and so on and so forth. They showed the happiest times in Glee. Meeting everyone, Grease auditions, meeting Ryder...and some bad times like Kitty showing me how to puke in the bathroom at her sleepover. Then a few more times when I puked in my own home. But other memories were of being with my friends in Glee club. The further I went down the bigger the memories appeared. One showed Ryder telling me why he had to cancel out date, then minutes later after Kitty spoke to me I found myself asking Jake out. I'm a bitch. Then the last one appeared. Sectionals. It was us performing Gangnam Style and I saw, from this point of view, how shitty I looked. The last couple of memories I looked shitty and miserable, but I remember feeling happy, and now I see how...horrible I looked. Then it happened. I fainted. Ouch, how didn't I kill myself? Op there goes Ryder first...now Jake...now everyone else...My eyes fluttered opened and Jake and Ryder pick me up and we all leave the stage. God, I wish I could tell everyone to get back on stage.

I left the misty tunnel and found myself at the bench again. Alone. That was...strange. Like I was looking at my far back past. Eerie feels creep up my skin, clawing my skin. I shook my head off and sat down. "I need...a box of cigarettes and a lighter. And a bottle of beer."

The beer bottle appeared in my left hand, the cigarette box and light came into my right. I opened the bottle of beer and began drinking it. It taste so delicious. I leaned back to chuck it all down in a final few gulps. I sat back up, placed the bottle back on the ground, took out a cigarette and began lighting it. I put the cigarette into my mouth and smoked.

"I needed this after that tunnel thing," I said aloud to myself.

A few minutes passed and a darker misty glow appeared. It was darker than the first one. Knowing what I was suppose to do I stood up and continued smoking my cigarette and entered the misty dark glowing tunnel.

Like the first tunnel, memories played on the left and right sides, each one appearing after a couple of steps. The first one was after fainting with Sue telling us we lost...then me going home crying. The next was the next school day I attending and all that shit began. Tina not letting me at the table, then Jake breaking up with me...meeting Stoner Brett and Lark...wow, did Lark seem healthy back then. Not now. Just us talking and I remember the conversation we had, then going on his motorcycle and getting pizza. The next memory was in Glee club a while later and Tina bitching at me. Then I blew up in her face, calling out "Bullshit!" to her about that whole New Rachel shit, and being sent to take a walk in the hallway...then Lark adding me as a friend...Ryder coming up at the door and telling me to stop being friends with Lark...Mom's jobs...Then the day after or so with Brett giving me weed and seeing myself in an out of body experience...it was creepy. I looked so weird getting high. The next couple of memories showed me smoking a cigarette for the first time, Mom catching me, me skipping classes to smoke, Ryder and I confessing our love for one another at the Sadies Hawkins dance right after he thought I was going to shoot up drugs with Lark's needle.

It then followed by Ryder and I making love on Valentine's Day. I stopped to watch that. He was such a nice person, taking his time with me and making sure that my first time was OK and as perfect as possible. I loved that night. But it went back to the more gray memories; me sneaking out to drink with Lark all sorts of bottles of beer and being hungover. ... Then Moms death... Damn, I just wanted to not see this...not this...not this...not this! I tried not to cry watching this, but I did... I cried watching Mom's body being lowered to the ground. Fuck damn it. Then it showed Finn catching me smoking after school and bringing me to Mr. Schue... Damn. It showed Minnie and I drinking that night, though she was downstairs and I was upstairs with a cigarette in my mouth. Then the school finding out the following day...I wanted these memories to stop now. The next was the party Minnie and I went too and Lark was there...then Lark and I got drunk and high and I cheated on Ryder...with Lark...screaming at Lark on the phone...pregnancy scare...not pregnant... The next few memories showed Lark and I hanging out and doing all sorts of things...going to National's and Finn screaming at me when I come back to the hotel late. Then it showed me standing at Ryder's hotel door and him pissed; this was when he learned I cheated on him with Lark and had a pregnancy scare... I felt horrible...we somehow made up after that, but I felt horrible.

A few minutes passed...finally it showed me in a moment and I remember that moment. It was the moment when I decided to go to New York and bare Ryder's feeling of hurt. It showed me getting ready to leave...writing the note...then at the rest stop where I got drunk and high and Lark had to get me into bed. It showed moments later Lark and I in New York...then Spotlight Diner and meeting Kurt again...Rachel being a pain in the ass...then Lark and I back at the apartment and drinking and smoking...Lark and I partying...then making out...playing truth or dare and becoming naked...then making love. Then the memories just showed all of that; drinking, smoking, smoking weed and having wild sex.

I existed out of the gray toned misty tunnel, came back to the park bench, and sat down. That was both good...and bad...but strange too. I had two more cigarettes before coming across another one of those tunnels. But this tunnel was darker. Almost completely misty black tunnel... I didn't want to go through that. I felt like it was a bed decision to do, but I felt the tunnel pulling me inside of it...that's when the worse memories came.

It didn't matter the order it came from. It all showed the same memories. Me, seeing in an out of body experience, getting high and shooting up lots of drugs and drinking non-stop and having sex with different people. Wild, wild sex. It was so scary seeing this...was this really how I behaved? I knew I was wild and free and partying, but I didn't think I would look so scary...it frighten me. How in the world did I become like that? How? How did I get that way? Oh God...and half the people I did...gross. Oh, I had sex with girls too? Well...that was different...weird. Oh few threesomes...weird...okay. Oh..did I really strip down to nothing whilst everyone else was dressed in their clothes? Did I really become the only nude person? Really? Oh... OH... Oh my God! Did I really let people do that to me? Pass me around like some toy to fuck with and then get passed along? Did I really let them do that? How did I get that far? Oh... Oh and the guys all sitting in a circle with a bunch of condoms and us girls were riding a guy, cumming, then getting up and moving onto the next guy.

How...how did I become...Marley Jane?

It showed me becoming darker...drinking more and taking up lots of drugs...drinking and taking in needle shots...how did I become like this?

I came out of the tunnel. I sat down on the bench... I just saw my life flash before my eyes. I didn't realize how wild I become. I knew I was being different and my confidence and self-esteem had risen up but I didn't think that was how I was behaving. Maybe I was really like Dad? No, I'm not Dad. I'm worse than Dad. Dad just drank and sold drugs. As far as I knew he never had sex with people and even if he did probably not as many.

How did I become like this?

AAANNNNDDD That's an update! Whoot, where are we going now?

P.S I saw Melissa and Blake pictures at that Independent Film thingy event that went too on 2/21/2015. Wow, Melissa looked beautiful and Blake looked good too. Strangly hard to image that just two years ago they were playing high school students and now they look so grown up and mature.