Lori found it hard to blink. Every muscle in her body was aching, especially her fingers. She hoped Bobby wouldn't give her gloves; he'd be happier if he got her something she could use once this whole slog was over.

Why did she wait until right before Christmas break to pull everything together? How were all those days she set aside for herself wasted on texting, social media, and half-hearted writing? Lori knew her essays needed polishing. It wasn't like she was a great poet like Lucy. But such was the price to pay now, even though it was eleven at night.

It was so difficult to concentrate. Her typing became a monotonous, automatic motion. Lori killed for a coffee, anything that could get her head back in the game. Unfortunately, it was nearly impossible to make the trek at such a quiet hour without waking someone up (it was times like these where she especially cursed the House's creaky steps and rickety kitchen appliances.

Of course, Leni wouldn't be disturbed by the bed screeching. She was a heavy sleeper as it was and if Lori was particular in her positioning and angle, she could slide off the mattress without a single spring being pressed. But then, the door was likely to wake up Luna or Luna (who were literally at the opposite side of the corridor). But of course, if she swung it quickly enough, the rusty bolts responsible for the squeaking couldn't react. And then maybe if she sat on the steps and slid down it, then the individual steps wouldn't be an issue (what a funny image to have).

And just like that, Lori snapped back to attention. She had wasted a solid minute just thinking about coffee. Sleep was gonna have be pushed off even further.

Lori exhaled as her eyes recentered on what she had written. The 650 word limit was a conundrum in of itself. It took her forever to work up the courage to fill her heart's content to that maximum figure. And yet, as she re-read the essay, it didn't feel like enough. Lori was far from being at peace with herself; she wished she had a whole book to pour all her grievances, reflections, and thoughts on every facet of her seventeen-year existence. It sure felt like a full lifetime has befallen her. Watching ten other people being born and growing up was something others didn't see until they were well into adulthood, let alone on the verge of that milestone.

Of course, it wasn't just the word limit. Her English teacher had given her some rigid instructions on how to appeal to admission officers, which of course forced her to cut back on certain details.

And most of all, she was just tired. The deadline was near and she couldn't waste any more time on this application, let alone the essay.

This was the best Lori could muster together. It was the best she could do. Maybe her foggy mind couldn't internalize the "genius" her writing was (the admission officers were bound to see it). And it wasn't like she had to get into every school. Just one would be nice. She was good enough for that.

"Right?"

Convincing herself of this notion, Lori copied and pasted her final work into the online application. Luckily for her, all the schools she was applying to (safety and reach) used the same website for this purpose. Once she plugged in her universal essay, all she had to do was fire off the single application to every school.

As Lori wrapped everything up, she encountered a text box.

"Are you sure you want to submit? Changes cannot be made after submission."

There wasn't much of a choice. The deadline was literally in less than hour. And besides, it wasn't that bad. Lori knew Harvard was a non-starter, but there had to be some other school willing to accepti this.

Sighing, she hit submit.

"Marry Krismus :)" Leni typed into her phone.

She couldn't believe it. For once, Leni actually woke up before Lori on the most magical day of the year. Usually, it was her big sister rushing her out of bed so that Mom and Dad would get the morning started sooner.

Helen, though, was an only child (Leni knew that) and she tended to wake up early (as far as she could tell). Hopefully she would catch the message at this hour. But then again, the circumstances Leni found herself in were pretty unusual. How did she know Helen wasn't snoozing off, having magical dream adventures with Rosy Cake?

Leni had asked for several things this year (mostly clothes and shoes) that she was very excited to receive. Just thinking about how amazing she was gonna look was enough to make her fingers flutter along the edge of her blanket. So what was she waiting for? If the roles were reversed, there would have been nudging, shouting, neverending motion until Leni reluctantly rolled out of bed.

And here she was, wide awake while her big sister was out like a rock. Oddly enough, there was something soothing about this situation.

Juding by the silence enveloping her, Leni assumed she was the first one awake. Glancing out the window, the sky was a beautifuly soft orange tint. Without any clouds to obstruct the light or noise to disrupt the peace, Leni felt like she was in a euphoric paradise. No one was there to judge, nothing to complain was there, and (after all) it was Christmas.

That one day was enough to carry the thread through the years of tradition, bonding together the simpler, happier Leni that used to make her way around. She was so innocent, free from burden or responsibility. And for once, Leni had the privilege to relive that idyllic self. No meanie was gonna stop her. Not today.

"Merry Christmas. I'm glad that you are awake," she read from Helen.

"U 2" Leni wrote back.

With nothing else to do, Leni reclined in her bed. It felt so toasty under the blankets and upon the (relatively) soft mattress.

"My Mom got me another stuffed puppy! He's white and fluffy!"

Leni smiles just thinking about it. Helen really knew how to have good taste in gifts. It must have been as soft and cuddly as Blacky was. Blacky was so adorable, even thinking about him now was difficult to do sitting still. She hoped Mrs. Egan has been taking good care of him, even though it's been years. Leni wondered how her former teacher was doing now. Did she still remember her?

As she lost herself in this self-induced stroll down memory lane, Leni typed back "Aww," not caring about how her thumb wouldn't stop tapping the "w" key.

A blaring sound rang out across the room. Leni accidentally dropped her phone, letting it plop on the pillow. As she registered the fact that she had flinched, her eyes became impossible to close. Her heart pound, the accelerating thuds threatening to break out of her body.

Just like that, the sound ceased. Leni jerked her head to the right, noticing a drowsy Lori fiddling with her own phone. Oh right, she remembered, her big sister kept an alarm clock on her phone. It sure looked liked she had just woken up, given her heavy eyes and imprecise hands. Didn't she realize what day it was?

Well, as nice as the tranquility was, it was time to spend time with the family. From now until night, Leni was left to nothing but her siblings, parents, and even a few other relatives (maybe Pop Pop would be allowed out of the Home to visit).

Knowing this big in mind and in body, Leni threw off her sheets, only to recoil at the sudden chill. After all, it was technically winter.

"Merry Christmas Lori," Leni said excitedly.

All she heard were tired groans and half-words. This wasn't the Lori she was used to on a Christmas Day. If anything, Leni was the one that was slow to get up. It was a miracle that the snugness she found herself under didn't make her fall back asleep. It didn't feel right to be the one to do this.

The next question confronting her was whether she would persist. Lori certainly would have, but she was perfect. Leni didn't have the strength or the urge to disrupt her big sister's slow ascension. After all, there had to have been a reason for it, one that she could never have understood herself. It didn't matter if she knew it or not. It was there and Leni was wrong to infringe upon it.

And so she waited, sitting on her bed. By now, Leni was too awake to go back to sleep herself. Besides, Lori might have caught her and gotten mad for her drowsiness. With nothing better to do, Leni picked up her phone.

"Thanks for the sweater. It's so fabulous and comfy!" she read.

Helen really was too nice, she thought. That sweater, along with much of Leni's other creations, could have functioned better as firewood or an all-purpose rag.

"Thank you. :)" Leni replied. It certainly wasn't much and it was far from enough. But it was the best she could have hoped for on such a short notice. The thought of her friend actually wearing something she created was enough to make her smile. It was far greater than anything she should have expected. Deep down, Leni knew it was wrong to ask so much of her friends. And yet, in the midst of Christmas's wonder, she was able to accept it, even if was But a passing moment.

In the corner of her eye, Leni caught her big sister standing up. It was a relief knowing that Lori finally mustered together some strength, to recognize how energizing the holiday had historically made her. Leni turned, seeing her stumble across the short space separating their beds. Lori's tired, groggy face was gradually gaining precision and life. This was the Lori she was used to.

"Let's get everyone up," Lori said, her words slurred. Even Leni could piece together where to start on that task. She kept staring at her big sister as she easily jumped off her bed, taking note of her baggy eyes and the lack of that coffee smell in her breath.

But ultimately, it was Lori who took the lead in their walk. Lori shifted her body, each foot striking the ground, as if she were pulling a boulder chained to her back. And yet, Leni followed her, letting her do all the work. After all, isn't that who Lori was? Lori always took the charge when it came to their siblings.

The first stop was to Luna and Luan's room. As expected, the two teenagers were fast asleep. Their sheets were far from neat; Luna's was practically dangling off the bed, threatening to cave into gravity. Leni only took a few steps into the doorway before pressing herself against the wall. Maybe one of them heard the freak of the door open, possibly serving as an alarm clock. And besides, it was Christmas morning. They were gonna wake up when it was right.

Leni turned to Lori, who was scratching her hunched back. Her big sister wasn't saying anything, so that must have meant she reached the same conclusion. Leni eased herself into complacency, knowing that for once, her judgment was in the right place. Knowing it was a matter of waiting, Leni cupped her hands together. Lori decided to exhale loud enough for her to hear.

"Get up!" Lori exclaimed. Her voice was tired and strained, but it certainly carried. Leni noticed movement on both levels of the bunk bed, along with emerging heads from under the blankets.

"Good morning," Leni said softly. She smiled a little when she saw each of her sisters open their eyes. They were so tired, even though it was Christmas. Christmas was supppsed to make people excited, she thought again. Where was the joy on each of their faces?

Each of them gradually rolled out of their beds. Luna had the more difficult task of descending the hard, wooden ladder, but even her weary arms had it in her to get down safely. Leni silently waited as her two younger sisters cobbled up the strength to acknowledge her. She remembered that she had left her phone on the bed and her foggy vision prevented her from checking the time before leaving. Leni didn't realize how early in the morning it was.

"Merry Xmas, dudes," Luna said groggily.

"I guess there isn't gonna be a Ho-Ho-holdup this year," Luan said softly as she chuckled to herself, "get it?"

Lori sighed and tried to pinch her nose. In that effort, all she did was slap her face with her bulky palm.

"It's too early for this, Luan," Lori said.

Too early, Leni thought. Then why was Lori doing this to herself? If she had it her way, Lori and all the others would have been back in bed under their toasty blankets, dreaming of Bobby and Mick Swagger and Mr. Coconuts. The poor things were practically hurting themselves by dragging themselves into the day so soon. And for what? Just some presents that could afford to wait an extra hour or two?

But it didn't matter now. Rather than protesting or challenging Lori's rightful authority, Leni followed her sisters to each of the other bedrooms. Two by two, the sisters awoke and joined their ranks. Luckily, the younger ones weren't so sleepy; Lola launched like a rocket, overzealous in her motions. Leni even heard her little sister's excited proclamations about Christmas and the gifts she hoped Santa left her. At least there was a little life in the House.

Lincoln was saved for last. All ten sisters packed themselves in the tiny space at the end of the hall. Leni was packed towards the middle, anticipating Lori's decision to open the door. They were all gonna wish their super special brother a nice morning. After all, he deserved it.

Lori's hand meeting the knob couldn't have come soon enough. Leni's eyes widened as they processed each frame of motion. The turning felt slower with each passing second. Leni has thought Lori was doing it on purpose, just to tease her. Time was of the essence. If she wasn't so packed in, Leni would have done it herself. Her hands jittered just thinking about the grand entrance.

Eventually, she heard a click and the kids flooded into the growing gap between the door and the frame.

"Merry Christmas Linky!" Leni exclaimed, unable to contain herself.

All eyes jolted to her. Where were their accompanying cheers? Lori's lips were firmly shut. Maybe she wanted to get in some extra before speaking up. Leni herself felt a little tense, a splash of humility hitting her face in the following seconds.

But whether they were gonna join in or not, it wasn't gonna be necessary. Lincoln perked his head up as his eyes quickly adjusted to the abundance of sisters in his tiny bedroom. His white hair was all over the place (popping up, sticking out), his eyes were in desperate need of rubbing, and his lips were as dry as chalk. And yet, all Leni could think about was how cute her brother was. He truly was something special.

"Alright! Everyone's up," Lola declared, "now let's open presents!"

"Not until we get Mom and Dad," Lori shot back, "they always like to be there when we open presents. You know how they are with taking pictures and stuff! They'll be disappointed if we start without them."

Lola sighed.

"Fine! Let's just do it already!"

Leni waited as Lori sifted her way through the crowd, emerging as the leader. She caught glimpse of Linky getting up and joining them. Leni courteously allowed thenothers to walk around her, getting ahead. Her eyes glued to her brother. For once, he was gonna have a companion.

Once her brother caught up, Leni strolled alongside him. Was it wrong that she felt this way towards him but not to her other sisters? Was Lori mad or offended? But on the other hand, Linky really was a treasure, especially in the morning when he was just waking up.

"Merry Christmas Linky," she said normally.

"You too," Lincoln replied, smiling. There it was. After a solid minute, he was finally happy.

Reachng downstairs, Leni's eyes were immediately drawn to the skyline of presents surrounding the lush Christmas tree. Some of them were instantly recognizable given their unique wrapping paper. Leni immediately remembered the chaotic task of looking behind her shoulder as she used the rest of her body to hide the tape, colorful paper, and the "goods". It was a time consuming endeavor, then again happiness never came easily.

"Presents!" Lola cried as she dashed towards the tree. Her arms stretched out like wings, as if they were trying to hug the banquet before her.

"Lola!" Lori barked.

The little girl froze. At first, Leni wasn't sure what she was gonna do. Lola was known for taking extreme measures when it came to getting things her way. Arguing, yelling, or sheer defiance were tactics that weren't beneath her.

"Lola," Lori repeated.

And just like that, her arms fell. Disappointed by the further delay, Lola sighed.

"Fine," she said as she sauntered back to the clump.

The pack stroller along the hallway, making its way around to the parents' room. As usual, their door was shut. Leni shuddered as she recalled the trouble she got herself into the last time she went in there. Sure she learned how to put on lipstick the right way, but at what cost? She huddled herself behind her Linky, resting her hands on his shoulders.

Lori, however, stepped forward and graciously pounded on the door.

"Wake up! It's Christmas!" she announced.

Through the wood door and plastered walls, Leni heard shocked gasps and mumbling.

"It's morning already?!" Dad asked, shocked. For the next few seconds, Leni couldn't hear anything. Perhaps her parents were playing a game where they weren't making any noise. Of course, if they were quiet, then they couldn't move and that meant no presents (and Lola would have been quite upset at that).

"Kids!" Dad eventually exclaimed, "Your mother and I will be ready in a minute! Just hang on and..."

Leni eagerly waited, keeping her hands on her brother's shoulders. Did he mind that? Her hands weren't that rough and they were clean enough. And it wasn't like he said he was uncomfortable. Yeah, she told herself, it was okay.

Eventually, the door opened and both parents emerged.

"Merry Christmas, everyone," Dad said, smiling. In his hands was a home camera, the kind that were really big when Leni was a little kid. It was a little odd that her parents still used that thing. After all, her phone had a camera of its own in there. It weighed less, was smaller, and it was easier to post pictures on the Internet. No wonder she rarely saw pictures from that thing online.

But who was she to complain?

"Now let's see what Santa left us!"

Any order that had existed amongst the family had dissipated in an instant. All the Louds (even Mom and Dad) raced out of the narrow corridor, squishing each other against the walls. Lori practically bounced over the youngest Louds, swiftly maneuvering herself towards the tree.

Leni saw no rush to get there. Besides, there was a good chance that her presents were buried underneath someone else's. Linky and her sisters were better off discovering their own gifts and treasures before she did her dirty deed.

Mom and Dad peacefully stood behind the couch, overseeing the excited congregation. Without anything better to do, Leni stopped beside them, observing her siblings partake in the opening.

Lana, Lola, and Lily were sitting on the carpet, too eager to rip open the wrapping paper from the spot they retrieved the presents from. Lola's eyes sparkled as she saw the big pink cardboard box beneath the paper. Sure enough, it was that big princess castle that Leni had heard Mom talking about. While she didn't know too much about whatever princess it was for, Leni chuckled at Lola's mesmerized stare at the box. Such silent admiration was quickly followed by a screeching squee. Oh yes, Leni thought, that was Lola alright.

Lana was less dramatic. Her already wide smile stretched out even further upon seeing her brand new tool box. Dad probably went out and bought that one, Leni thought.

And then there was Lily, of course. She gripped the wrapped present, squishing it with her baby hands. It took her longer to get her gift often. Leni wondered if her baby sister needed help getting the wrapping paper off. Should she be the one to give her help? She wanted everything to go well. But second guessing kept her feet on the ground. Maybe Lily just liked it this way, that she was just holding it like that because that's exactly what she wanted. To jump in and rip off the paper would have ruined the baby's joy. That had to be the answer, her subconscious assumed. If Lily really wanted to open the present, she would have already done it.

Despite this, that didn't stop Linky from slipping off the couch and rushing to Lily's side. With a toothy grin and confident hands, he undid the wrapping paper and held up the gift. It was a stuffed giraffe. Bright yellow, big, and fluffy, Leni was instantly drawn to the adorable plushie. Rather than throw around her hands in an angry fit, Lily cheerfully clapped and hugged the stuffed animal.

A switch was flipped in Leni, the one that reminded her that there were things to be joyful towards. The culmination of her trip to the toy store and the money she spent on that plushie were starting to amount to something. Everything in her suddenly felt like a Pop Tart fresh out of the toaster: warm, gooey, and all around sweet. It was that visual reminder, the actual act of a loved one living Christmas wonder that brought her back to reality. For once, she could genuinely smile.

Lily was in bliss. Those innocent eyes and childish laughter were the markers of something unblemished, safe from the lingering shadows that life presented. Of course Lily had no chance of ever becoming as broken as Leni. For someone her age, the baby was full of promise. She already knew what her feelings were and Leni just saw nothing but blossoms flourishing from that healthy sprout.

Even if it was too late for herself, Leni could at strive to save Lily from falling into despair. Long after all ten of her siblings are relieved from their duty to associate with her, Lily can at least be promised the joy and feelings of being loved and bountiful to her other amazing siblings. That much, Leni supposed, she could give her perfect baby sister.

She then got a nudge against one of her shoulders, taking her eyes away from the beautiful sight.

"Go open your presents, Leni," Dad said softly with a docile smile of his own, "I think Santa left you some things too."

Leni glanced at her father. Her eyes softened even further until they were practically marshmallows. Instinctively, she wrapped her arms around her Dad. The smile she bore was practically sculpted into her face. Despite the message she received, she couldn't bring herself to let go. In that moment, this was the best way of feeling whole; to release herself would have been like only sewing one corner of a patchwork. Her Dad deserved better than that.

"Thanks, sweetie," Dad said, patting her back. Although her arms remained glued to his torso, it was he that pulled back. Leni gazed up and saw that ethereal smile, "Now go," he continued, "I think you might like what you'll find."

He really wanted her to go. Suddenly, her arms fell as she made the connection. If she spent the whole day just behind the couch, then Dad would have gotten very sad. After all, if she didn't pick up her presents, they would have just left a giant mess on the ground (and Dad doesn't like messes). That had to be it, she figured.

And so her eyes turned to that mess. Behind the ripped wrapping paper was a collection of unopened gifts. Determined to clean it up, Leni paced towards it.

"Wow! The Complete Ace Savvy Encyclopedia?! You're the best Leni," she heard as she silently moved towards the presents.

"Aww! A sweater just for Iggy? Thanks!"

"An autograph pic of Mick Swagger?! How did you get your hands on this, big sis?"

Leni grabbed one of them. It was a large rectangle with elegant red wrapping on it. Reading the tag, she quickly discerned that it was from Mom.

Stilling standing inches from the tree, Leni shredded the paper. She uncovered a firm box that was part pink cardboard, part wobbly plastic. Through the thin veil, Leni could see sophisticated bottles (big and small) along with variously sticks. The entire display was nearly organized.

Leni examines each of them, initially unsure of what it was she was holding. What it finally took was a fourth look at the small cylinder-shaped thingy to notice the small type. Lipstick?

"It's to help get you started honey," she heard Mom say.

That dreaded memory eased its way back to the surface. Mom didn't need to do that, Leni thought. Sure it was a field she was gradually easing into (Leni had tried a little lipstick again just the week before), but she didn't need to drag her poor mother into it too.

But then it hit her. This was exactly the intent of this gift. The complicated concoctions, designer labels, and the significant price tag slapped on the back of the box. All of it was meant to remind her of the terrible deed she had committed. Leni should have known better than to draw attention to herself like that. Mom didn't need that and she resented it. Maybe now that she's stuck with this overly sophisticated product, she'll think twice before acting out of turn. Leni knew she just had to keep trying harder, no matter how difficult it became.

Besides, now wasn't the time to make a scene. There were plenty of other gifts sent to her by the most generous people on the planet. Linky has something, as did Lori and Luna and all the others. They deserved their retribution as well.

"Thanks," she said, holding a reserved smile. Leni propped up the box as her Dad brought the camera to his eye.

"You better smile, doofus!"

Rita and Lynn Sr. were diligent at work. Normally, the big holiday rush was the only major challenge they faced. Once December 26 hit, they could finally sit back and marvel at the Herculean feat they had pulled, patted each other on the back. Indeed, the couple viewed themselves as quite the team.

But this year was different. While they had seen this coming for a long time, neither were particularly thrilled when it came knocking on their door. Papers were scattered across the table while the two adults huddled around a laptop. Indeed, the FAFSA required al sorts of boring documents and figures. Everything from the tax credits they received to their incomes to those pesky Social Security numbers came crawling back. It became a chore to take those cold printed numbers and manually transcribe them into the online application. But such was the duty of soon-to-be College parents.

Leni saw all this visual chaos as she inches her way into the dining room. She felt like an even bigger fish out of water than usual (like the ones she saw at the lake). She didn't have any papers in her hand or advice to give to her busy parents. Until a few weeks, she had never even heard of a "FAFSA".

Maybe this was a mistake, Leni thought to herself. They were busy and this entire pursuit was completely selfish. Time and energy were clearly of the essence to both Mom and Dad and Leni was already a notorious drain of these materials.

But when was this ever gonna end? Leni needed to do this. If she didn't take care of this now, when was she ever? Maybe in a month or two, but the thought would still be there. It would beg, grill her to know why she didn't act at this precise moment. Everything was in place: a set of words, the parents in the same room, and the timing was right (or so it would say).

She took several breaths, pushing out the flutters bit by bit. They were all swirling in her tummy like a tornado, reaching every part of her insides until they were unable to hold her up anymore. Leni told herself to keep breathing, that she might eventually muster up the confidence to open her mouth. This were her parents. They deserved the best presentation imaginable. It was the least she could do to offset the message's nasty content.

"Hi Leni," Rita said, her head lifting up from the computer screen.

No time to turn back now. Lately, Leni has been surprised by the number of times she hooked herself into these situations. By the time she had cold feet, the wave was already there, sucking her in beneath the rough, choppy water. Even though what she was doing was completely wrong, she owned every piece of it now. Leni told herself this was her reaping the toxic seeds she had sowed. It was a shame that innocent people were getting swept up in the mess.

Staring at her parents dead on, Leni took one more breath before diving in.

"Mom, Dad," she said firmly, "I know that I have let you and everyone down by failing my driving tests over and over and over and over again. Each time, I have been working harder and harder and harder, and yet nothing has come out of it."

She then took another breath.

"I have, like, been doing better to get the help I need so that I can pass and get my license," Leni continued, her hands planted to her side, "and I know that it's important that I get it so I can, like, drive me and everyone around to places and, like," she briefly paused, "I think I'm ready to take the test."

Mom and Dad glanced at each other. It was hard for Leni to discern what it was they were thinking. And when she wasn't certain, there was definitely one part of her ready to fill in the void. They must have been annoyed, disappointed, overworked. That must have been it, she thought. They were rightfully looking to each other to communicate their distress among each other, as if their reassuring eyes could have bolstered each other back up.

Eventually, though, Mom met contact with Leni. Here it comes, she thought.

"Well that's fantastic, honey," she said warmly.

Did she really just hear that? There was no way Mom really meant that. Then again, Leni should have expected that type of response, given her parents' nature. That grin her Mom carried was a terrible reminder of the prison she and Dad were stuck in. Leni was horrified that she had just added a new lock to their cell, making escape even less likely. Why were they staring at her like that? She wanted them to stop.

But such was Leni's fate these days. Even when she got what she wanted, she still felt bad. She wished she could change herself to only want things that will actually make others happy.

"Once the snow melts, we can take you down to the DMV to sign you up," Dad said.

Leni's eyes widened.

"When the snow melts?" She said, astonished, "But I'm ready now!"

The two parents gave each other another look. Mom wasn't smiling anymore. Great. Silence enveloped the three Louds, leaving Leni to watch her parents waste even more time on this awful pursuit. Leni felt her heart sink as her Mom nodded her head and faced her.

"I think that's great honey," she said. Still, that smile wouldn't return, letting Leni know that she really messed up just for speaking her mind, "but it's winter and there's snow and ice on the road. The test is gonna be a lot harder because of the bad weather, but if you wait until spring, then you won't have to worry about that stuff."

"Lori can drive when there's snow."

The girl couldn't stop herself. She kept forcing herself to close her mouth, to quit talking back. Leni already knew she had lost the "nice" tag long ago (though "lost" is such a generous word, implying that something was there to begin with). But for Pete's sake, she didn't need to make herself all-out "mean".

"Lori's been driving longer than you have, so she knows how to handle it," Mom answered deliberately. Leni was bothered by that level, calm, static voice. Couldn't her mom just be free already? And her Dad fared little better with his seemingly empty eyes, "once you get your license and get more practice, then you can do it more next winter. But for now, you're better off waiting."

No, no more rude attacks. Leni puckered her lips, as she was certain that was the only way to prevent those base comments from slipping out. Her Mom had already suffered far too much. The least Leni could have done in return was control herself.

"Okay," was all she said. And then, her feet mechanically swiveled around, propelling her out of the room.

Well, that was a waste of time. Mom and Dad were probably rubbing their foreheads, struggling to mend their aching migraines. Not only was this all a big mistake, but it was one that hurt her parents too.

As Leni sauntered upstairs, she dreaded the thought of anyone seeing her. All they would have said was "there she goes again, not knowing what she's doing." Mom and Dad already had their minds full of how empty her's was along with a montage of the arbitrary, forceful thrashes that she considered "decisions".

Well, maybe things would change once spring arrived. Three months was a long time to improve, to turn things around. Mom and Dad may be willing to forgive her by then, to return to civil terms after that horrible outburst. All she needed was time and space.

Luckily, winter was known for being and feeling like an eternity.