HI.

80: Lights and Lighter

The rest of the day and night consisted of just Ryder and I, catching up on one another and kissing a couple of times. I missed his kisses. I missed him. I missed his warmth, his arms, his hugs and his love. I just missed it all.

Unfortunately he had to leave, since he wasn't blood family, but he promised to go tell Finn right away and let him and everyone else know that I was perfectly fine. I reminded him to tell Lark and he said he'll tell him asap. I remembered the promise I made to Zandra, to let Lark know it's not his fault for her death.

I didn't move too much the rest of the night. I just got up to use the bathroom and then went right back to bed. Due to the lack of food when I was drinking and drugging myself up, I ate everything on the dinner plate I got before Ryder had left. He said I gobbled everything down within ten minutes (mashed potatoes, corn, squash, macaroni and cheese, a glass of water and two cookies for dessert) though I gave Ryder the second cupcake. I. Was. Starving!

I didn't want to throw it up either. And I didn't.

I fell asleep but stupid nurses and doctors came in and out checking on me that I was alive. Assholes. I am alive. Unless you heart my heart line going flat on that machine, I am alive!

The following morning when I awoke I was given egg, toast, bacon, orange juice, milk and water. Who drinks water first thing in the morning? I pushed the water away and ate the eggs and toast and pushed the orange juice down my throat. I hate orange juice. I didn't have room for the milk. Soon after breakfast was visiting hours and within minutes of the hour starting I heard Ryder down the hallway.

"Lark! Slow down, man!"

Soon afterwards the door slammed opened and a blonde hair boy was standing there filled with joy on his face. "Marley!"

"Hi... Lark." I said. My throat still hurt. They had to pump the alcohol and drugs out of me with this pump machine that required a tube down my throat. It stil hurts days later.

Lark came jogging over to the bed and grabbed me into a tight bear hug, the tightest he has ever given me before. I felt tears down his face roll off his face and drop onto me. "Damn you!" He choked on his words. "Don't you ever fucking scare me like that again!"

"Sorry." I said, but smiled. "Not...doing...that...again...ever."

"Better not you asshole." He said taking himself out of the hug. "Damn when cousin Ryder told Finny and I the news, with the others on Skype at Dapper Dan Blaine's house, we all cheered and thanked those above...well except that one kid. Kurt? He was just thankful."

"Good." I said. I saw Ryder and reached out for a hug from him. "Ry!" I smiled.

"Hey beautiful," Ryder leaned in and hugged me. I felt him kiss the side of my head and continued to hug me. "Sleep good?"

I nodded against him. I opened my eyes and looked at Lark. He was grinning and winked at me.

Through unspoken words, we knew we were done with one another (sexually, of course,) and that he was glad that Ryder and I were together again. See? Lark isn't as much of an asshole as Ryder calls him out to be.

"Everyone's glad you're OK." Ryder said. "Even Kitty."

"Kitty?" I laughed.

"And Bitch Satan." Lark added.

"Who is that? You never told me." Ryder said as he pulled out of the hug.

"Tina." I laughed. "Long...story."

"Oh no it's not long," Lark said. "Bitch Satan had been harassing our Rose here since she passed out at Sectional's. Being on her ass about every single thing and being a bigger hard ass when it came to Regionals and a bigger bitchy hard ass when it came to National's. Then everything else in the middle. So, this Tina girl is Bitch Satan." Lark explained. "Right Marley?"

I nodded. "Our...joke."

Ryder smirked and chuckled. "I like that nickname a lot."

"Hey Marley, remember my old friend Cooper? Cooper Preston from the bar?"

I thought about it. That name came to me...then the rest came minutes later. "Yes."

"He's in town and he remembers you from the bar so he said he was going to pop in soon to check on you. That's cool, right?"

I nodded. "Fine." I then leaned onto Ryder's shoulders and smiled closing my eyes. I felt myself falling asleep again. I heard the two cousins talking about letting the Lynn's know soon and then I heard one of them mumble about being thankful I didn't up like... Oh! Zandra!

"Lark!" I sat up straight looking at him.

"Yeah Marley?"

"Zandra."

"Yeah," He said a bit slowly. "Not sure if you were told about Zandra—"

"No, I know." I said. I coughed a few times. "Zandra...died...I...met...her. Somewhere...in here," I pointed to my head. Then pointing above I said, "Somewhere...up there."

"Ooooooookkkkkaaaaayyyyy," Lark said making it sound like I was crazy. "No offense Marls, how much did you drug in?"

"Fuck you asshole!" I yelled.

"Sorry." He laughed. Did he not believe me. "What? Did she have a message for me? Am I going to be a millionare?"

"No..." I said. "She...said...this...I brought... this... flabbergasted shit ...on my... own... body."

Lark and Ryder looked at me surprised. Lark for the message, Ryder for possibly how long I could say a long sentence.

"Holy crap you did talk to her!" Lark exclaimed. "That's insane!"

"How do you know she's being serious?" Ryder asked. Then added quickly, "Not that I don't believe you."

"When something was super, super, very serious with it involved Zandra, she used the words 'flabbergasted shit' to describe it."

Oh so that's why Zandra wanted to make sure I said 'flabbergasted shit' to Lark. So that he knew it really was her talking. I smiled at that. "Ok."

"Damn that's awesome!" Lark smiled. "Oh...well, I guess I can't feel too bad since she said it was her fault...I'm still to blame."

A couple of hours passed. Ryder, Lark and I (in a wheelchair) roamed around the hospital and went outside to the back to get fresh air. Upon the walk back inside we saw there was an area outside for smokers. This one girl with long red hair had a cigarette in her hand and asked if any of us had a lighter on them, for her to keep. Lark had three of him; so he handed her a pink lighter. Ryder nudged him.

"Hey asshole it's her lungs and her choices." Lark said back. "I'm heading down the street to get some Chinese takeout. You guys want anything?"

"Egg rolls and crab ragoons." Ryder said.

"Noodles." I added.

Ryder and I went back to my room. We laid on my bed watching TV, making out a few times during the show, only to be interrupted fifteen minutes into the show by a knock on the door. We both looked over and saw the girl from outside. "Hey," She said. "That blonde kid you were with, he still here?"

"No, he went to get lunch. He'll be back in an hour or so." Ryder answered.

"Tell him to come to room 904. I wanna pay him back for the lighter. If I'm not there I'm on the balcony the floor above, I like it there too." She said. "You feeling okay?" She asked looking at me. I nodded. "Well that's good. My name's Jane if you need a talking buddy." She then left the doorway.

Well, that was strange.

Lark returned half an hour later. Ryder gave him the message and Lark laughed. "Oh that girl? She's gonna make out with me I bet. Hey Cooper is down the street."

"Fine."

Another twenty minutes passed and a face popped in. It took time to recognize him but somehow I did remember him. "Hi...Cooper."

"Hey it's the lady." He said. "How's it doing?"

"Good." I said.

"Lark Stewart, how's it going bro?" Cooper asked.

The two of them caught up and chatted for a while, while Ryder and I went back to our show eating the food. The two boys were in a deep conversation and I didn't pay attention until Cooper said something. "Still shocked that you and Blue Eyes here didn't hook up that night."

I turned to him, so did Ryder. Lark was already looking confused. "What the hell are you saying?"

"That night at the party, the college party, Blue Eyes and hairstylist chick were there, and we were there too. You and Blue Eyes left wasted and knowing wasted you, I followed y'all to watch some action."

"Fucking perv!" Lark pushed Cooper off the chair.

"Nah, nothing happened!" Cooper said. "You both strip to nothing and, by the way nice feeders Blue Eyes—"

"Fucking perv!" Both Ryder and Lark yelled.

"Alright, alright, well then you both were making out and I stripped down and before I could rub things down all I saw and heard was Blue Eyes here saying 'No, Ry...not sexy time...sleepy time...sexy time later.'"

That sounded like me. Sexy time.

"Then bro you go all ex-girlfriend on Blue Eyes here. 'Shit, sure as a bird Sawyer?' and then both of you must of been totally wasted to not understand the other. You kept calling her Sawyer and Blue Eyes kept calling you some dude name Ryder...somehow you thought they were talking to the right person and nothing happened."

"Nothing...happened?" I asked.

"Nah. Both of you just fell asleep after that. I didn't stay so I got dressed and left to get food." Cooper said. "Damn I wanted to get in and made a girl sandwich."

"Gross." Ryder said.

Both Lark and I looked at one another grinning. Oh perfect! So we never slept together! I told him, as Ryder, to stop and he thought of me, as his ex Sawyer, wanting to stop and not continue sleeping together. That was awesome! I found myself leaning up and kissed Ryder on the cheek and I felt him rub the back of my head lovingly, also pleased that that didn't happened between his girlfriend and his cousin.

"But I wanted a sandwich." Cooper said.

"Fuck off!" Lark yelled, but grinned. "Woo hoo! Didn't I tell you Marley!? I told you! I had a feeling we didn't do it! I told you a million times! I knew we didn't sleep together that night! I just knew it! I know how I am after I wake up from sex all night and I wasn't like that when I woke up! I knew it was bullshit!"

I giggled and nodded. "So...naturally...late...gaining...weight." I said.

"What? Oh, yeah, you getting that monthly thing late and thinking I knocked you up." Lark remembered. "Yeah, woo, dodged that bullet. The only kids that should be popping out of you from the family should be Lynn babies, not Stewart babies."

I rolled my eyes but smiled. That was true. "Fuck...Stewart babies...Lynn better."

"Yeah— wait, what!?" Lark yelled. "I'm awesome! I'm better!"

"Dude, you called her Sawyer—" Cooper said.

"Shut up sandwich craving perv!" Lark yelled. "Oh god, don't ever try that again with me!"

"Well I wouldn't plug you butt if that what you meant, all actions be done on Blue Eyes here." Cooper said, only to be slapped by Lark. "Damn it Lark!"

What a beautiful relief to know that Lark and I didn't screw one another on that particular night. Though we did when we came to New York... Ryder said he would forgive me for it. He already partially has forgiven me.

Lark and Ryder had to leave for the night. After two long hugs and a long kiss from Ryder the cousins left. I'm shocked that Ryder hasn't killed Lark yet or even called him a mean name or called him an ass for getting me here. Or at least helping me get here in the hospital.

I stood up from the bed being able to walk with an IV hook stand. I walked out of the room, not worrying about the boys coming back as three hours had already passed, I made my way down to the elevator and pressed the up button for the ninth floor.

I followed down the hallway until I found the room I was looking for. I peeked inside to find it empty. No, I guess she was up more.

I went up to the balcony and found the red hair girl smoking on a cigarette drag. I walked over to her. "Jane?"

She looked at me. "Oh hey. How you doing?"

"Good." I said.

"Need something?"

I nodded. "Can I have a cigarette?"

I sat next to Jane in the empty chair smoking on the cigarette she had given me. She had ten packs on her and she let me keep five of them for myself and handed me an extra lighter she had found. "First time?"

"No, it's just been a while." I said, blowing out the smoke. "I missed smoking."

"Yeah, it's nice."

I took in a long one then blew it out.

God I missed this so much.

So Marley and Lark never slept together at that party! YEY! But, oh, Marley! Smoking again?