October 1780
Teaching had begun to consume all of Gil's time. When he wasn't teaching he was grading papers or creating a schedule. Though Sara tried her best to be patient, she was beginning to worry that he did not care as much for her as he once did. She tried to tell herself that she was just growing depressed, but every day she grew less confident.
"Sara," Gil said to her one day as he handed her Thomas. "Will you take him out of here?"
Thomas had gotten into the study where Gil had been working. Sara quickly came and gathered him up. She noticed the pages strewn about the desk and grew sad. He was working too hard lately.
"Maybe you should take a break" she suggested. "You've been working all day and it is Sunday."
Gil shook his head. "I have to finish," he replied. "I'll be done by supper time."
Sara reluctantly left the room, tugging Thomas gently along behind her. For supper she prepared cold chicken and bowls of tomato soup. She set the table, sat Thomas in his chair, and called to Gil. He came out briefly, picked up his plate and bowl, and looked at her remorsefully.
"I'm sorry, dear," he said to her as he returned to his work.
The study door shut and Sara was once again alone with Thomas and Hank. She looked down at the dog who was unaware of what was transpiring. The only thing he seemed to be aware of was the chicken. Sara picked pieces of meat of the bones and laid them on Thomas's plate for him. He grasped each piece with his fist and greedily brought each one to his mouth.
"I think we've been forgotten," she said to him as they both ate in silence.
~0~
My Dearest Sara,
I hope you have been well. James and I are getting along just fine, but we miss your presence so. We will be traveling to Philadelphia next month and I am writing to ask you if you would permit us to bring Thomas to stay with us for a fortnight. It would thrill us to have him around. I am betting that he has sprouted since we have last seen him.
Much Love,
Aunt Catherine
Sara tucked the last of Thomas's gowns into a carpet bag and looked around his small bedroom for anything that he would need during his stay with his great-aunt. She had packed his toy, clothes, blankets, and plenty of fresh nappies.
After her Aunt Catherine and Uncle Jim arrived, they stayed with Sara until Uncle Jim's business was finished. Sara enjoyed chatting with her aunt, the two women had much to discuss, but her aunt had noticed that Gil was always busy.
"Does he have any time for you and Thomas?" Aunt Catherine had asked.
They had been hanging the wash out to dry. It was a crisp September day, and all the leaves on the trees were becoming a brilliant shade of orange. Sara did not want to discuss Gil's work, but her aunt meant well.
"He hardly has time to eat," Sara admitted. "If I knew it was going to be like this I would not have moved out here."
Aunt Catherine put a hand on her shoulder. "I know it is difficult," she said. "But he only wants you and Thomas to have the finest things."
Sara knew that her aunt was right, but her words did not take the pain away. Instead it caused tears to well up behind her eyes. She loved her husband wildly and she knew he loved her. This lack of time spent together must have weighed on her more than she realized.
"Maybe it is a good thing that we come to collect Thomas," she said. "You will have more time together."
Now, as Sara finished packing Thomas's bag, she hoped her aunt had been right. She prayed that his being on holiday would allow Gil and Sara to rekindle their romance. She had already planned to make his favorite meal that night for supper.
"Come along Thomas," she said as she turned to take his hand.
~0~
Gil came in earlier than Sara was expecting, but supper was nearly finished and she had begun to work on the Bird's Nest pudding. She heard him set down his satchel in the front hallway ,and quickly she pinched her cheeks and smoothed back her hair.
"Has Thomas gone?" he asked when he walked into the kitchen.
Sara nodded and put on her best smile. "Yes," she replied. "He'll be home in a fortnight."
Gil leaned over to kiss her on the cheek. "I have a lot of work to do," he sighed as he turned to leave the kitchen.
"Wait," Sara said, placing a hand on his arm. "Are you going to eat? I made all of your favorite foods."
Gil glanced at the table that Sara had set. "Give me an hour or so," he said. "I will come back out and we'll eat then."
Sara smiled. "Alright," she said. "I'll keep it warm for us. I am making Bird's Nest pudding."
Gil smiled. "You do love me," he joked.
Sara kissed him fully on the mouth. "Of course I do," she said.
~0~
It had been two hours since Gil had disappeared into his study, and Sara sat drumming her fingers on the kitchen table. The pudding was starting to run and the tears behind her eyes were threatening to spill over. Finally, Gil came out and walked into the kitchen. He saw Sara sitting at the table and put his hands to his temples.
"Sara, I'm so sorry," he said. "I got busy and I forgot."
Sara stopped drumming her fingers. "You forgot?" she asked.
Since they had been married, they hadn't disagreed on much. Tonight had been the final straw, and she was about to speak her mind.
"Gil, I though us being married meant we would be able to be together," she said. "But since we've moved to the city all you do is work! I am tired of it!"
Gil seemed taken aback. "Sara I am trying to earn an income for us," he said. "It isn't easy being away from you and Thomas."
Sara let her tears flow out. "I wish we'd never moved here," she said. "I wish I was back at home in Brandywine where you had time for us."
Gil looked at her frustratingly. "I wish I had known you were going to be this difficult when I came home tonight," he said, and then he stopped to put a hand over his eyes. "Sara, I didn't mean that."
Gil reached for her, but Sara quickly stood and left the room. He heard her hurried steps as she retreated to the bedroom and shut the door behind her. Though the door was closed, he could hear her muffled the sobs.
If there was one thing that he swore he would never do, it would be to make her cry. Slowly he sank into a kitchen chair and thought about what he had said. it had been wrong, no not wrong… appalling, of him to accuse Sara of being difficult. Sara loved him a great deal and maybe that was the part of the problem. Maybe he needed to get adjusted to the idea of having a loving wife.
When he was married to Abigail, she never accused him of not spending time with her. Of course, that was because she was spending time with other men. She never put one ounce of fight into saving their marriage. Sara was different. She wanted his company and time because she loved him. And that was something he knew that he should be thankful for.
~0~
After her tears had run their course, Sara changed into her night clothes and climbed into bed. The other side of the bed, Gil's side, was cold and empty. She wanted him beside her, but didn't know how she could face him. Was she really being difficult?
She knew he worked hard to provide for her and Thomas. Most nights he would come home, too tired to talk, and go out to help a neighbor. He was trying to be a kind man and take care of his family, but didn't he know that involved his time too?
Uncle Jim had always spent time with her and her cousins. He always had time for Aunt Catherine too. But Uncle Jim had run his practice from his home and rarely left the propriety.
The bedroom door opened, its hinges squeaking, and she heard Gil walk into the room. She could feel his eyes on her and debated rolling over to look at him. She did not know if she was ready to or not.
"Sara, I'm so sorry," he said, coming to sit on the edge of the bed. "I didn't mean anything I said."
Sara didn't answer, not out of anger but of unsureness. She did not know if she really did mean what she said. And if she did, could she tell him so? Would he love her any less?
"I know I work too much," he continued. "And I promise that'll take a break soon and we can go away for a holiday; just us."
He reached over and stroked her hair gently. It had been weeks since he had touched her and she yearned for him. Slowly she rolled over t face him, her eyes glassy from the tears. She couldn't see his eye color in the dark, but she knew that they were the same electric blue they had been when she first met him.
"I love you, dear," he said to her. "I'm sorry, I made a mistake."
He stretched out beside her and took her in his arms. He kissed her softly on the lips, his beard rubbing against her sensitive skin. She hugged him to her tightly and then knew, without a shadow of a doubt, that everything was alright.
~0~
Mending was a household task that Sara despised. More often than not her needle would make its way through one of her thimble holes and into her soft skin. Having Thomas gone gave her time to take care of chores, but she also found herself bored. In a way she missed chasing after Thomas as he walked about.
Even though Gil was trying his best to spend more time with her, he was till swamped with his work. He would often stay up into the night writing and grading. It pained Sara that he worked so hard.
Since they had quarreled, Sara had tried to put her best foot forward. She made sure to prepare him a hearty meal to eat for breakfast and a wholesome lunch to eat on his break time., Gil also seemed to be trying his hardest. If it was still light out when he came home from work, then Sara would wrap her woolen shawl around her and they would go for a walk.
On their walks, Gil would pull her close and point up at the stars. He would talk fondly of the different constellations and describe to her what the scholars thought the universe looked like. It made her feel small in the big city when she looked up and saw the vast expansion of the world God made.
"Oh darn," Sara said, pulling her thumb out of her thimble and putting it into her mouth.
She dropped the shirt she was mending and walked to the kitchen to retrieve a washcloth to wrap snuggly around her finger. She looked at the chair that held a pile of clothes that needed mending. Among them was a pair of Gil's trousers. She picked them up and looked at the hem she needed to sew. Not finding a rip she stuck her arm through the leg.
"Where in the world?" Sara wondered as she search for a hem to patch
Sighing she let the pants fall. The only way she would be able to find the torn hem was if he was wearing them, but he would not be home until late. Chewing on her lip, she hiked up her skirt and tugged the trousers up.
"There you are," she said, spotting the hem.
She threaded the needle and patched up them hem quickly. She wanted to slip Gil's breeches hurriedly off, in the slight chance that he may come home and wonder what she did when he was gone.
They were much too big for her. That was, unless she had fastened a pair of his suspenders on. She chewed on her lip until curiosity became too much for her to bear.
In her bedroom she rummaged through their dresser until she found Gil's extra pair of suspenders. She pulled her dress over her head and then fastened the hooks to the loops. She adjusted the straps until the pants stayed up and laughed at her image in the full length mirror.
"Um yes," she said in a deep, manly voice. "I am here to take classes."
With a giggle she went back to the dresser and withdrew Gil's smallest, button-up shirt. After she fastened the buttons up to her neck, she slid the suspender straps over her shoulders. She turned and looked at her reflection. In her mind, she looked like a pirate. All that was missing was a peg leg, a patch, and a parrot.
She ran her fingers through her hair and sighed. It would be a dream if she could dress up like Gil, get into the college, and sit in on a class. Women who dressed like men were usually the ones who frequented Molly Houses. Sara didn't understand why people made someone else's business their own. If a woman waned to dress like a man, then she should have the right to do so.
As she walked to the closet, she realized how odd it felt to walk in a pair of pants. All of her life she only wore dresses or gowns. On the shelf in the closet sat Gil's straw hat. She took it down, shook off the dust, and clapped it down onto her head. She gathered her braid and tucked it up into the hat.
~0~
Sara hitched the satchel up her shoulder and trudged, in her boots, towards the college. Several times she wanted to put her satchel down and unwind her hair. It was insane to think that she could go through with this and not be spotted by someone. Still, she was too curious to turn back.
As she walked, she kept her head low. She could see the steep, pitched roof of the college in the distance. As she neared it, she saw men walking through the entrance. It must be so wonderful to be permitted to pursue an education; to have the keys to the future at your fingertips.
She slowly ascended the stairs, Gil's long coat brushing the concrete as she climbed. Around her she heard men talking back and forth about their professors and workload. Some of them were complaining. If she had the honor of studying any topic she wanted at this wonderful place then she would be happy.
The clock tower chimed and soon people began to clear the halls, each man going into their assigned room. Sara followed a line of men into a room. She did not know the subject nor who the instructor was, but she was certainly about to find out. She found a seat in the back and sunk down in her seat, trying to look inconspicuous
The door to the classroom opened and a taller, balding man entered. The hair he had left was dark brown and Sara found herself wondering what class she was in. He turned to the board, scribbled a name, and turned back to the class.
" Marcello Malpighi," he said, turning back to the class. "The father of the fingerprint method."
Sara reached into her satchel and pulled out a notebook. As the man talked about the newly discovered fingerprint process she became enthralled. She picked up her own hand and stared at the tips. She could barely see the little ridges that stood out. Could her fingerprints really be different from everyone else's?
The class went on for an hour and then the man left. Sara waited for the people to stand and file out, but everyone remained seated. Sara did not want to draw attention to herself so she remained in her seat.
The door soon opened again and everyone grew quiet. She looked to see who the next speaker was and was let out a small gasp when she recognized Gil. She lowered her head and debated on whether to gather her satchel and leave or not. If she did get up to leave, then she would have everyone's attention. No, it would be best if she stayed seated. Maybe he would not notice her.
"Go afternoon class, "Gil said, wiping the previous teacher's writing off the board. " If you remember last time we talked about the West African Black Beetle."
As Gil spoke about the exoskeleton and the mating process, Sara licked her lips nervously and watched the clock. She noticed that as he spoke, his eyes were fixed on her. The gig was up, and she had been spotted by the person who knew her best.
Finally, after what seemed like an eternity, Gil dismissed the class. Everyone stood to exit, but Sara remained in her seat. When the last person had left the room and the door had closed, Gil sat on the teacher's desk and waited.
"Class is over," he said to her. "You can leave now."
Sara nodded, hung her head, and gathered her satchel. She stood on shaky legs, preparing herself for a lecture about how dangerous coming to the college had been. She looked up at him as she walked, but she noticed that he was smiling.
"I've been looking all over for that satchel," he said as she approached the front. "Where did you find it?"
Sara stuttered. "The… the… closet," she said. "On the top shelf."
Gil got down off the desk and walked over to her. "Ah," he said, taking the bag. "I never thought to look there."
He opened the bag, took out her note pad, and read over her notes. "You listen well," he commented, smiling at her.
Sara wrinkled her forehead. "Aren't… you angry?" she asked.
Gil seemed to think about this for a moment, but then he responded. "It was dangerous, Sara," he said. "And I was upset at first."
Sara was confused. "You had a change of heart?" she asked.
Gil smiled. "You seemed interested in Dr. Ecklie's class," he said. "I watched you through the door and I saw your eagerness. That was one of the things that made me fall in love with you. How could I be angry about that?"
Sara felt herself smile. "I wanted to see what it was like," she said.
"Did you enjoy your time?" he asked.
Sara nodded. "Yes," she said. "It was a curious time."
Gil motioned for her to follow him and she did. He walked with her down the hallway and towards the exit. When he had seen her safely off the grounds, he pulled her to him and kissed her.
"I'll be home early," he said. "And don't do this again. They could put you in the stocks and there wouldn't be anything I could do. Next time, I'll take you inside alone."
Sara hugged him back and pulled away. "I won't," she said. "I love you."
Gil waved his hand, but then stopped. "Are thouse my trousers?" he asked.