An Unexpected Aphrodisiac

This scenario basically happened to my friend in real life five years ago, so I thought I might as well write it for Klaroline (and yes - Oysters winky face - is actually a thing for us now). Plus, I was craving some Lexi snark (aka totally me in this fic).

Penrose Bar - Upper East Side, Manhattan

Penrose Bar on the Upper East Side was heaving with the Friday night after-work crowd. Klaus was seated at the bar, his eyes firmly trained on the fresh talent entering wondering whether he was in the mood for a blonde or a brunette tonight. A pretty redhead sauntered in and suddenly he wasn't quite sure what he felt like now.

This was his weekly ritual where Klaus and his younger brother Kol would take up residence at the bar and find their entertainment for the night.

If Klaus was being honest, it was all getting a little tired. Every Friday and every girl seemed to blur into one, Klaus couldn't even remember the name of last week's conquest, let alone the rest that came before her.

Rebekah had given them a stern lecture a few days earlier saying just how tacky and caveman-like the whole practice was. Kol responded that he was more than happy with his caveman status while Klaus chose to stay silent knowing she was right but hell would freeze over before he admitted that to his little sister.

It all began the week after he caught his ex-girlfriend Hayley cheating on him with his former best friend Stefan and Kol had taken him out to let off some steam. Fast forward six months and he was still doing just that. Looking back, Klaus knew he never really loved her but it didn't stop him from staying as far away from relationships as possible. They were just a disaster waiting to happen.

His phone beeped, signalling an incoming message. He leaned across the bar lazily, staring at the screen, not quite sure what to make of the foreign number or the unusual message accompanying it.

"Oysters ; )"

Kol must have noticed his perplexed expression, leaning over to peek for himself. "You dog! Looks like someone has already organised his fun for the evening."

"I did not," he scowled, pulling the phone away from his nosy brother. Kol's lack of decorum left a lot to be desired.

"So, how do you explain the suggestive message, Niklaus? This has come and ravage me ASAP written all over it."

"Kol, I don't even recognise the number and even if I did, I hate oysters," he hissed.

"Uh, I think that's just code…"

"I know that, idiot," he growled, hitting him on the head.

"So, what's the harm in texting back, hey?"

"Well, for starters common sense," he scowled. "This could be a sex-starved serial killer for all I know."

"Woah, is this what I've been missing on Friday nights, fellas?" A chirpy voice interrupted, standing between the brothers. "Please continue though, I'm intrigued. Who knew your type was sex-starved serial killer?"

"Do you want to say it any louder, Lexi," Klaus chided, pulling her closer. "I don't think they heard you in London."

"You said it first," she drawled.

"What are you even doing here?" He snapped.

"Well, since you asked so politely boss," she muttered, rifling through her black satchel. Only Lexi could multi task by looking for something and being snarky at the same time. "I have a legal brief for you to sign."

"Really, Lexi," Kol groaned. "You interrupt our night and taint us by association for that?"

"If anyone is tainted here, it's you, loser," she shot back. "This needed to be lodged like yesterday."

"Niklaus, just sign the bloody thing before I have to endure any more unwanted sass from your assistant." Klaus shook his head. Lexi had worked for him at the firm for five years and she and Kol had been fighting from the very first moment they met.

Klaus suggested it might be a weird and bubbling attraction but Rebekah informed him without hesitation that she was too smart for Kol. Turns out she'd been right again.

"Sounds like someone needs to get laid. Oh that's right, you're you."

"Here you go," Klaus handed the brief back to her, not expecting Lexi to pull up a stool and take a seat at the bar between them.

"What?" She demanded, looking between the brothers. "The least you owe me is a cocktail, Mikaelson, given I had to bring this thing to you and miss out on my night with the girls."

"Any cute ones?" Kol asked, suddenly finding a benefit to her unexpected presence.

"I have no intention of subjecting my friends to you," she scoffed.

Klaus gestured the barman madly for service, the one thing he wasn't in the mood for was more bickering. "So, who's the serial killer?" Klaus knew she wasn't going to let this go. Suddenly his phone beeped again, this time only denoting a frowny face.

"What did you do?" Lexi asked, peering over his shoulder. "Wrong yet another poor woman?"

"Well, not yet anyway," Kol joked. "Nik here has a secret admirer."

"I do not, it's obviously a wrong number."

"What does she want exactly?"

"Oysters, amongst other things," Kol grinned, knowingly.

"Charming," she muttered. "You two really are all class."

"I haven't done anything," he baulked. "Obviously this person has the wrong number. Like I said it could be anyone, probably a guy knowing my luck."

"Let me see that," Lexi insisted, stealing his cell from his hand. "No guy uses that many emojis, if any. And last time I checked oysters are an aphrodisiac for men not women."

"Well, thanks for the explanation," he muttered. "Can we possibly change the subject?"

"This girl could be the one, Klaus," Lexi said excitedly, taking a long sip from the gin martini he'd placed in front of her hoping the straw would silence her for a little bit at least. "You need to find out."

"I can't believe I'm going to say this," Kol began, sending Lexi an unimpressed glance. "I agree with Lexi."

"About being the one?"

"Hell no, the one for right now."

"Urgh," Lexi groaned. "Way to ruin the moment."

"She's asking for sex, blondie. There's certainly no moment to ruin Little Miss Pathetic Romance."

"I am not going to stalk some poor person who has mistakenly texted the wrong number," he scoffed.

Before Klaus could react, Kol had grabbed his phone and was typing away gleefully, Lexi standing in Klaus' way purposefully. "Why is it that when you two decide to unite it isn't for good but pure evil?"

"You're just lucky I suppose," Lexi chuckled, taking a seat.

"Look, If you're not going to do anything then I am," he shot back, hitting the send button and passing it back. "If she's hot though, I get dibs."

"And if it does happen to be a guy then so do I," Lexi offered.

"But you said it wasn't a guy, you know too many emojis?" Klaus searched his phone madly for the response, inhaling quickly before reading.

Five Leaves Oyster Bar - Brooklyn, NYC

"What is her problem?" Katherine asked, looking at Caroline curiously as she studied her phone.

"She's not answering," she replied. "The fact she's not even here yet is strange enough but not responding is even weirder."

"Well, her loss," Katherine smiled, swallowing a natural oyster whole.

The three best friends had been dining out at Five Leaves every Friday night for four years now and the fact Bonnie wasn't there was unusual. She'd recently changed over both her phone and cell number but given Caroline her new details the day before. Her phone buzzed and Caroline looked downwards curiously.

"Sounds good, where are you?" Caroline was taken aback, after four years you'd think she'd know the venue.

"Apparently Bonnie doesn't know where we are," she muttered in disbelief, showing Katherine her screen.

"How many did she have at after work drinks?" Bonnie had a going away party and said she might be a little late.

"Obviously a few," she chuckled, typing a sarcastic response, multiple emojis and finally including the venue for her tipsy friend.

"Sorry I'm late," Bonnie interrupted thirty minutes later, taking a seat in the booth beside Caroline and a familiar six foot, tall blonde sliding in next to Katherine. "The boss decided to speak for a half hour, you'd think he was leaving and not you Matt."

"Well, I'd prefer he waffled like that than making me talk, you know how much I hate public speaking."

Bonnie and Matt had met at work three years earlier and become fast friends and now he was an honorary member of their group. Matt still wasn't quite sure if that was actually a good thing or not.

"If you didn't know where we were, then why the hell did you ask, Bon?" Caroline asked, holding up her phone screen for inspection.

"Maybe because that's not my number," she offered tentatively. "The last number is a 3 not a 7."

"It's okay, Care," Katherine teased. "You can't help it that you're blonde. Look on the bright side though, maybe your suggestive text made some guy very happy."

"Oh no," she moaned, placing her head in her hands. "It wasn't meant that way, that's our private joke."

"Only he doesn't know that, especially given his very eager reply about your location."

"That's just great," she gasped. "I've probably sent some sex-starved, serial killer my way."

"It's okay," Bonnie soothed, patting her blonde waves affectionately. "We'll protect you from the big, bad wolf."

"I won't need any protection if we leave here straight away," she hissed, attempting to leave but realising Bonnie wasn't moving but ordering a dozen Kilpatrick from the waiter. "Bonnieeee," she whined, childishly.

"I'm sorry but I haven't had my oyster fix yet and am so starving. He probably won't even show up."

"Let's hope not," she growled, taking in the crowd self consciously.

Meanwhile on the other side of the room, Klaus, Kol and Lexi stood taking in the view. Klaus felt increasingly uncomfortable, not just at the situation but where he was.

"Brooklyn, really?" Klaus complained.

"Could you sound any snobbier Mister Upper East Side Lawyer?" Lexi huffed.

"Now that's a mouthful."

"Doesn't make it any less true."

"You still work for me, Branson."

"You'd be lost with me and that doesn't mean I can't have fun while I'm dealing with another temper tantrum," she quipped. As much as Klaus pretended he was upset he actually adored Lexi Branson and all of her quirks. Not that he'd admit that readily of course.

"I bet that's her," Kol offered transfixed, pointing towards a brunette seated in the nearby booth with deep, brown eyes and talking animatedly with a beautiful blonde by her side.

Klaus didn't care who the hell it was given the blonde had completely blindsided him. Those expressive, blue eyes and golden waves spilling onto the table had silenced him momentarily. It didn't hurt that the fitted, black dress he could see peeking out from the booth hugged every curve either.

"Nah, I think it's that brunette," Lexi offered.

"Which one?"

"The one next to that gorgeous, blonde guy," she sighed, fanning her face as she said it.

"I have a feeling you have other priorities, blondie," Kol muttered.

"Me too, Mikaelson," she shot back pointing towards the brunette he was perusing.

"Can we please just get out of here," Klaus insisted, his gaze never leaving the blonde in the corner. As much as he wanted to leave he couldn't quite bring his feet to walk out the way they came inside.

"We might as well stay," Kol suggested. "Drinks anyone?"

"Oh, I'll have a gin," Lexi grinned excitedly.

"Why can't you two just start fighting like bloody usual?" He replied gruffly knowing that he had no chance. "I'm going to the bathroom." Klaus strode away before either could offer a snide remark.

He didn't need to do anything but decided to get some fresh air from the drama. If there was anything Klaus hated it was unwanted attention and this plan of Kol and Lexi's screamed that in spades. He made his way up an unexpected staircase and found himself with a breathtaking view of the Brooklyn Bridge lit up in the distance.

"Wow," he murmured.

"It's the best part about this place, well except the oysters," she commented, moving a little closer. Klaus could smell a hint of strawberries and vanilla as she did and was trying to pretend he wasn't already completely addicted to her scent.

"I don't like oysters," he replied truthfully, exhaling into the cool night air.

"But you're at an oyster bar?"

"Apparently so," he quipped. "Let's just say my friends dragged me here."

"Sounds familiar," she agreed. "My friends won't let me leave either."

"Apparently we have more in common than we thought," Klaus said, turning slightly to take in her appearance. She was even more stunning than he'd even expected from that booth. Then suddenly he was shy, unsure of what to say. "You come here often then?"

"Nice line."

"It isn't a line, love."

"Maybe I do."

"Well I don't," he smiled. "Although I think I'm kind of going to miss you anyway."

"You don't even know me," she countered.

"No, I suppose I don't," he murmured, sending her one last glance before moving away. "I might not like them but anytime you want to talk oysters with a winky face I'm available on a Friday night."

He gulped in a breath of fresh air, wishing he could stay longer and talk to the beautiful blonde but he didn't want to scare her after all. Klaus couldn't miss the longing glance she sent his way on his descent down the staircase.

One week later they talked oysters then three years later they celebrated their wedding at that very spot overlooking the Brooklyn Bridge at dusk. Caroline insisted on an oyster bar at the wedding, Klaus allowed it but only because he loved her.