Disclaimer – I do not own BMT world, it belongs to Trudi Canavan

Sonea

Sonea checked that Justen was sound asleep. This was the first time since he was a baby that he had slept in their room. Luckily it was large enough to accommodate his bed in a corner, carefully screened from the rest of the room by a strategically placed set of shelves. He seemed to view the whole idea as some sort of adventure. They had made a little ceremony of it, Takan bringing the bed, Akkarin the bedding and Sonea making sure he had everything he wanted from his own room, to make him feel at home. He lay, as usual, curled on his side, one hand under his cheek and the other holding a carved figure of a horse Takan had made for him when he was younger.

Satisfied that nothing would disturb him, she made her own preparations, taking off the heavy garments she had worn during the day, and putting on the rather more delicate sleeping garment she had bought at the market on her last visit. She prepared her evening dose of Fallea's potion and swallowed it quickly, putting the bottle back in its hiding place. Akkarin had not yet come up and she felt her heart beat a little faster as she remembered the look on his face when he promised to talk to her about hair.

No matter how many times she told herself that they had been lovers for six years, so things should now be more routine, when it came to thoughts of lovemaking, she still felt her breath quicken and her body tremble, as if it were the first time. It wasn't usually like this for others, she knew that from the time when she lived with her aunt, who along with most of her friends, spent more time complaining about her man, than thinking fondly of him. She didn't think her feelings were entirely due to the potion she was taking either. Even before Fallea, she had felt the same way; there was something about Akkarin which created these feelings in her. If she didn't know any better, she would say it was almost magical!

The door opened quietly and Akkarin came in. She turned towards him and smiled. He had discarded his jerkin so his shirt hung loose over his trousers, its neck lacings open, simply inviting her to slip a hand inside. She didn't yield to that impulse though. She went over to the bed and climbed in, watching under lowered lashes as Akkarin took off his day clothes and put on a pair of loose sleeping trousers, leaving his upper body bare.

He slid in beside her. She reached up and pulled the leather thong from his hair, so that it spilled over his shoulders. It was quite long now, longer even than when he had been High Lord. What she had said downstairs was perfectly true. She loved his hair, the fresh clean smell it always had, the silky feel of it as she thrust her hands into it and tugged gently to bring his face down towards her own, As his mouth covered hers, she heard his amused voice in her head.

So, you like my hair do you?

Oh yes!

Then she stopped thinking about hair, and simply gave herself up to the demands of her flesh as it responded to his caresses. They knew each other's body so well now, each knowing where to let hands lazily drift, each finding the right spot to place their lips to set flesh quivering, both of them feeding off the intensity of their closeness, limbs entwined and movements coordinated as they slipped into the rhythms of lovemaking.

Afterwards, they lay still, Sonea cradled against Akkarin's chest, his arms around her, while she listened to his heartbeat, slowly returning to normal, echoing her own. This time, let there be a child. The routine plea, hidden deep within her mind, as ever the first coherent thought she had in the aftermath of passion.

Sometimes, they simply lay together until they drifted off to sleep, but tonight, Sonea needed to talk. She had promised Lorlen to try and perhaps now would be a good moment. Either he would respond, or retreat behind his cold mask, she had no way of knowing which, but instinctively she felt that 'now' was a magic moment in all senses of the word.

"What do you really think about what Lorlen said?" she asked quietly.

You want to talk about this now? His mental voice whispered in her head.

She knew the message underlying the words, which slipped through her mind like a silky mist laden with so much promise. His mind was still focused on lovemaking and much as she wished to join him, her gut instinct was telling her not to be distracted from her self-imposed task.

"He wouldn't have come if things were not bad."

"There's nothing I can do," he said and she could hear the finality in his tone.

"Vinara and the others wouldn't have sent for you if that were true, and you know it! Think about what you were – the youngest High Lord, the strongest and the one with the greatest diplomatic skills. Who better to deal with a disintegrating Guild?"

He laughed softly, "My dear girl, since you discovered the truth about me, you think I can do no wrong."

He fell silent and she turned to look at him. His eyes were closed and there was an expression of deep sadness on his face. She stretched up and kissed the corners of his mouth before covering it with her own. She felt his lips open and the touch of his tongue circling her lips before thrusting deep into her mouth.

I have done much wrong in my life, despite what you think. This whole unhappy cycle started because of my arrogance and self-delusion. If I hadn't gone to Sachaka in the first place, the Ichani would have had no reason to think the Guild did not continue to practise higher magic. The thought that it did had kept them away for hundreds of years. Once they knew from my mind it did not, they started to plan their invasion. It was all my fault.

The anguish in his mental voice opened Sonea's eyes to the burden of guilt he had carried for years. It accounted for his determination to prevent the Ichani from penetrating Imardin by any means possible. It explained his need to defeat them, even if it meant his own death.

She didn't know what words were needed to bring comfort, so she said softly the only words she could, "But you put it right, Akkarin, you put it all right."

"Yes, I had a plan to put it right, even if I were discovered. It was a pleasing picture to contemplate, either my death at the point of saving the Guild which would surely have meant statues in my honour and a magnificent tomb, or my return in triumph, ensuring my place as the greatest High Lord ever. But in the event, neither of these things happened and now the Guild is falling apart. That too, is my fault."

The depth of his bitterness was evident in his words as well as his tone. She wondered if he was afraid; afraid to go back and face the others; afraid that his skills would fail him and he would be powerless to hold things together. The man she loved was no coward, she knew that. But, perhaps the way things had turned out had somehow sapped that self-belief of his which had previously carried him through all the difficulties he'd faced.

She raised herself up in the bed and leant over him, taking his face between her two hands. He watched her, his eyes black and unreadable in the faint light, his face still. She bent and kissed, first one eye, then the other, before pressing her mouth to his.

I know that you are the only one who stands a chance of preventing disaster, just as you were the only one who could stop the Ichani, she sent. You owe it to the Guild to preserve it as a powerful force for good in the Allied Lands. If the Guild falls, the Ichani will have won and all your efforts will have been for nothing.

He moved quickly, rolling over so that she was beneath him. Raising himself on to his elbows, he stared down at her.

"You have never lost faith in me, have you?" he asked softly. "Even when I doubt myself, there you are, ready to defend everything I do. You put your whole future in my hands when you chose exile and you have kept faith every day since then despite everything I've said and done to make you change your mind."

It's simple," she murmured, "I love you."

He continued to stare at her intently, saying nothing, just gazing deeply into her eyes. She held her breath and then, it happened.

"I love you too, Sonea," he whispered, "Until now, I didn't know just how much."

She couldn't prevent the smile that threatened to split her face in half, or the tears which filled her eyes. At last, after all the years of longing, he had finally said the three words she'd been waiting for. She flung her arms around him as he thrust into her. Their passion reminded her of that time in Imardin, when Akkarin had been drunk on bol and wine. It was full of urgent need that had to be satisfied hotly and quickly. And like the time before, she experienced heights of pleasure not usually reached.

They were both breathless at the end, hearts pounding loudly in their chests, a sheen of dampness on their skin. Sonea, suddenly remembering their visitor in the bedchamber next door, found it hard to suppress a giggle. What if he'd heard? What would he think? Then she giggled again. He'd think you had a mighty lover and was a very lucky girl!

And what makes you giggle? Was it not pleasing? Do you need more practice? That smoky, sensual tone was back in Akkarin's mental voice, full of suggestiveness and promises of passion to come.

She suppressed an urge to hit him with a pillow and settled instead for the shelter of his arms.

It was very pleasing. It pleased me so much, I would like to experience that pleasure again and again. She tried in vain to make her mental voice sound as inviting as his.

Later, just before they drifted off to sleep, she asked him what he would say to Lorlen.

"I'll have a talk with him, to see if I can find out more about who is behind this…err…invitation."

As she opened her mouth to say something, he forestalled her, "I'm not promising anything, Sonea. I still think there's nothing I can do, but I will speak with him.

And with that, she had to be content.