Data Log Entry: # 21840224

Attached is a vid of said conversation #33824-6 of year 2184.

Due to classified material Video is corrupt and is unable to display.

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*** This is not a recording ***

Authorization Code: MVFTK294-VZ

Below is a declassified transcript of file #33824-6 that occurred on board the Alliance Systems Frigate Battle Class – SSV Normandy of the Fifth Fleet on 21840310 at 1322 hours.

Commander Shepard enters the bridge and dismisses all other military personnel on the bridge except for Lieutenant Jeff Moreau who also goes by the nickname "Joker".

Commander Shepard orders Lieutenant Moreau to engage the Normandy's auto pilot. She then informs him, "I have a bone to pick with you."

After the ship's auto pilot was engaged, Commander Shepard glances towards the bridge's surveillance camera, which she looked to have no regard for, then uses her left foot to kick Joker's chair around, causing it to spin and face her.

In a threatening manner, Commander Shepard leans over Lieutenant Moreau, not allowing the pilot to move, pinning him in his chair. Commander Shepard asks him a question, most of which was inaudible however it seemed to reference something about chips.

Lieutenant Moreau then raised his hands and replied, "Really?"

Returning to a standing, yet still intimidating stance, Commander Shepard continued to question Lieutenant Moreau vigorously. Pointing to her head she said, "I already asked everyone else. You are the only one left."

Lieutenant Moreau smirked, then chuckled as he replied, "Really? You asked everyone huh?" It was apparent the statement was meant to be sarcastic.

Commander Shepard appeared to be getting more annoyed with the Normandy pilot when she countered, "Yes"

Lieutenant Moreau painfully rose out of the pilot's chair and hobbled over to the Space Contact monitor. He seemed to have ignored Commander Shepard entirely as he moved. One minute and twelve seconds passed before Lieutenant Moreau spoke again. "Absolutely everyone huh?"

Crossing her arms further attempting to influence Lieutenant Moreau's behavior, Commander Shepard questioned, "What are you hinting at mister?" *Note that Commander Shepard's fingers were tapping impatiently as Lieutenant Moreau's answered.*

Pressing the *SENSATIVE AND CLASSIFED INFORMATION WAS DELETED HERE* buttons, Lieutenant Moreau answered the Commander. "I just don't think you asked absolutely everyone."

Commander Shepard moved intimidatingly closer to Lieutenant Moreau, leaning on the same control panel she stated rather suspiciously, "Oh really?"

Looking the Commander straight in the face, Lieutenant Moreau replied, "Really? You didn't miss a sole?" The Lieutenant Moreau then hobbled back to the pilot's chair as Commander Shepard began to count on her fingers who she had asked while stating the names out loud. Without rank I might add.

I asked, Garrus and Tali at Chora's Den, and Doctor Chakwas at the Christmas Party. Pretending to touch her forehead, which had definitely healed already, Commander Shepard went on. "Wrex of course. Who could forget that ordeal? Hell I even asked Alenko before… well you know before the incident."

Lieutenant Moreau apparently had no sarcastic jab at the Lieutenant Kaiden Alenko comment.

Commander Shepard continued to call out names, "I asked Pressly over lunch. I even asked the yeoman because she seemed to be hurt that I hadn't accused her yet." When the Commander had named everyone she could think of she paused. Commander Shepard leaned forward with her left index finger extended, pointing in the direction of Lieutenant Moreau. "That's everyone which leaves only you.

Settling back into his chair, Lieutenant Moreau quickly scanned his monitors and made a few adjustments on the screens. "So basically you haven't asked blue yet?"

Commander Shepard looked dazed by the question, as she motioned outward with her hands, as she responded, "Blue who?"

Lieutenant Moreau them moved his pilot's chair himself back to face Commander Shepard. He spoke to his Commanding Officer like they were old drinking buddies, and without the respect of the Chain of Command. His tone was again condescending sounding. "Seriously Shepard, you can't be that thick."

Only an irritated blank stare looked back at the Lieutenant.

It took an exact 32 seconds before Lieutenant Moreau answered Commander Shepard's previous question. "The only blue asari on the ship who is massively crushing on you." As a fellow Alliance Officer within the Bureau of Intelligence Agency, it is my professional opinion that Lieutenant Moreau's statement was unprofessional and worthy of capital punishment. *Note the last sentence was added after the fact during the declassification process.*

Running her hands through her hair, Commander Shepard questioned in a defensive posture and tone, "You aren't talking about Professor T'Soni are you?" When she was done playing with her hair, Commander Shepard then began to pace about the bridge.

Lieutenant Moreau's head nodded mockingly as Commander Shepard came to understand who Lieutenant Moreau was talking about.

It took only 4 seconds before Commander Shepard responded to Lieutenant Moreau's accusation. "First, Liara is not crushing on me." Commander Shepard did use air quotes when she used the word 'crushing'.

Lieutenant Moreau attempted to interrupt her train of thought as he snickered. "Oh so now it's Liara instead of Professor T'Soni."

Ignoring the Lieutenant Moreau's ploy, Commander Shepard continued, allowing her voice to get louder as she went, "Second, Liara would not have, much less STEAL poker chips. I seriously doubt she has ever stolen anything in her life." The commander's tone relaxed a bit. "Thirdly…"

Lieutenant Moreau interjected, "Oh you have a third too?" Adjusting his command ballcap he said, "Now this I gotta hear." Commander Shepard shot him another, 'look', Lieutenant Moreau added, "Oh don't let me stop you. Go ahead with your 'third' reason why Professor T'Soni didn't take the poker chips."

Spinning on her heels, Commander Shepard stared directly at Lieutenant Moreau, face to face. "THRIDLY, Liara…. she… no way…"

After stammering on her words, it appeared that Commander Shepard in fact did not have a third reason as why Professor Liara T'Soni had not taken the missing poker chips in question. Appearing frustrated, as her face turned almost as red as her hair, Commander Shepard did an abrupt about face and started to exit the bridge.

Lieutenant Moreau shouted at his commanding officer, "Just ask her. She's the only possible answer no matter how unbelievable the outcome!" Under his breathe, Lieutenant Moreau added, "I read that in a book somewhere."

*** END OF TRANSMISSION ***