The drive to school was much more desolate than usual. In some ways, it was like Lori was back in the driver seat (only instead of her big sister, it was Mom). That was okay. They explained that Leni would get back the keys the following week. She didn't blame Mom, of course.

But that wasn't all. There was minimal chatter in the back seats. Leni occasionally glanced over her shoulder. Her sisters were as tired as usual, beholden to their precious coffee. By now, Leni had come to expect their grogginess in the early morning. However, that couldn't be all there was to it. Just looking at those eyes and downtrodden lips pointed to the elephant in the room.

Leni knew they were still thinking about last week. How could anyone forget? Even she found herself reliving the blinding whirlwind and steel-solid goosebumps. It was her actions and her responsibility. Now, her siblings see her as an object that makes them sad. And who could blame them? For all that she hated pity, her outburst all but brought it upon herself. She sighed as she realized that things weren't gonna just go back to normal.

Mom pulled into an empty spot (though not the one that Leni liked going to).

"You girls go on ahead," Mom said, "Leni, do you wanna sit in here for a minute?"

Of course, this wasn't a real question. Leni knew exactly what kind of trouble she was getting herself into now. But she wasn't about to protest. She had given up that right when she dared to open her mouth. Knowing this, she slowly nodded.

The back seats of Vanzilla slowly cleared out, mixed in with tired goodbyes. Leni could only bring herself to silently wave at her departing sisters. Did they see her? Probably not, but it was the thought that counted. Right?

"Leni," Mom said.

Alerted by her own name, she mechanically turned her neck towards her mother. Her lips were tucked against each other. Her hands were locked between the fingers. This couldn't be good.

"Today, can you promise me something?" She asked.

The younger Loud took a shaky breath.

"What is it?" She asked. But she already knew what the answer was. This was purely to keep her Mom from getting upset. The poor thing didn't need any more of that horrible emotion.

"Whatever you do today, try to remember what you do well," Mom said warmly. And then, those tense lips suddenly loosened, "it doesn't have to be big stuff like getting an A on a test. It can also be little things, like holding the door open for someone or helping someone new find their way," she then hoisted up her united hands and flapped open the fingers.

Leni couldn't help but chuckle.

"What's so funny?" Mom asked.

"That thing you're doing with you're hands," she replied, "It's totes cute."

"Well, I guess it kinda shows what I mean," she sad. Just then, her arms turned in opposite directions, causing the open palms to fly free, "I want to help you get to the point where you can let your sadness come apart and for your soul to be free from inner judgment."

She visualized her mother's process, using the hands and stuff. In some sense, it made sense. Leni wanted to be happier and was required to at least listen to her Mom's advice. But doing little things seemed a bit small. And thinking about them didn't seem like much either.

"Will this make me happy?" Leni asked.

"Not right away. This is a good start, a way to help you change your perspective. It may seem silly at first, but I think it'll get easier if you take baby steps," Mom explained.

"Okay..."

Rita sensed that dismay under her daughter's voice. It was of a non-believer, someone that was too smart to be fooled by what they saw as empty rhetoric. And she knew Leni was no dummy.

"Honey," she said. Luckily, Leni turned straight to her, even with that unwavered expression, "I know there will be days where you'll be sad and thinking about good things won't cheer you up. But it's okay. It doesn't mean you're not trying. It just means you're human. And when you feel that way, tell someone. It can be me, your Dad, one of your siblings, Helen, or anyone you feel comfortable with. There's a lot of people that care about you."

Even Leni couldn't resist her Mom's warm smile. It was that kind of serenity that got her hopes up. Despite all of her flaws, maybe there was some inkling of good in her after all. It was gonna be a long time before she could start believing those words, but Leni could at least understand the place they were coming from.

While her face replicated her mother's expression, her Mom embraced her. Leni flinched from the sudden gesture, but couldn't find any reason to complain.

"I love you so much," she heard her muffled voice say.

"I love you too, Mom," Leni said softly. While locked in the hug, she decided to pat her Mom's back. It was the first idea that came to mind. Leni knew it wasn't a lot, but it was certainly more than nothing.

Leni was embarrassed being here. She felt like she was only making her Mom sad by creating worry. Her cheeks flared up the longer she was left in the embrace.

"We all love you, Leni."

Her cheeks flared up. That was a weird expression to hear, the sort of thing she would chastise for being too proud. But now it was a buzz phrase, one that brought shock to her ears every time she heard it. Indeed, it was gonna be a long time before she would start believing it.

Finally, Leni got out of Vanzilla and blew her Mom a kiss. As she watched the car drive away, she thought about how nice it was for her to take that responsibility for a bit. Leni knew she was gonna get it back, but for now, there was a sense of...right coming from her Mom taking the wheel.

Now it was time for the next great challenge.

Helen was in the usual spot. Leni slowly slipped around the corner. Suddenly, what had been a casual encounter turned into a trip to the principal's office. She tensed up. One of her hands nervously gripped her limp arm, as if it were armor protecting her from whatever was to come.

Leni knew she shouldn't be this nervous. This was Helen, her friend. And from what she could gather, nothing was bothering her.

This was a matter where she realized the best way to proceed was to "rip off the band aid". Maybe if she just went up and started talking to her friend, these butterflies would get out of her tummy (they weren't food and they knew it). Leni nodded her head, accepting the nature of the situation. All she had to do now was walk.

And walk she did. Leni pried the hand off her arm to look at least somewhat natural, but no smile could have been bothered to grow. Not wanting that fact to deter her, she thought about her feet. Just one step after another. Helen was gonna hear her any moment now.

"Good morning, Leni."

She froze. Leni still couldn't understand why she was so nervous. Helen was right there. Nothing in her voice was judgmental or bitter. It was like Leni was a new student at the school, struggling to find her way around the building (and social norms).

"Hi," Leni answered. She then glanced at the floor, finding some comfort in the near lines running along and across the tile.

Helen looked at her friend, peculiar from her demeanor. Not that Leni could tell anyway. Aside from a few brief glances, she barely found the courage to be so close to her. Didn't she know she was only making Helen nervous? This was her friend, after all. They have literally done this routine for years without trouble.

"Is everything alright?" Helen asked.

Just as she feared. Leni tensed up as she forced herself to keep her eyes squarely on Helen. The girl was so patient it was crazy. Leni, meanwhile, silently breathed through her nose, trying to get her act together.

"Yeah, you know," Leni said, but her voice trailed off before anything else could come out.

"That's good," Helen answered.

The two shared several awkward looks. Leni felt it was unfair that she had come to view her friend this way, as if she were too scary to be approachable. Whatever happened to those easygoing days of Princess Pony?

"We missed you this past week," Helen said.

"Oh..." was all Leni could scrap together (at least at first).

Come on. She knew she had to explain herself. Helen deserved an explanation. It wasn't like she could pretend it never happened. They both knew it.

"Well, things happened and, like, I'm sorry," Leni said slowly.

"Sorry?"

"Yes," Leni continued, "I feel bad for putting you through that and...um..."

No. Leni knew she couldn't say it. Helen was sad enough as it was; the last thing she needed was more stress, more reason to think her friend wasn't a fun person to be around. She shuddered at that terrible image.

"Yes?" Helen asked.

Well, Leni found no point in hiding it. As much as despised the hideous truth, she knew she couldn't hide from it. Besides, Leni knew she dug herself right into its path with that phrasing.

"I just want you to know that, like, you're my bestest friend in the whole world," Leni said frankly, "and I'm worried that you might not like me now that I'm weird and stuff."

"I don't think you're weird."

After the tizzy she put herself under just to get to this point, relief was an inevitable feeling. So too was doubt. Maybe Helen just said that because she had to, that it would have been rude to let that self-deprecating remark slide. Leni was tempted to just leave it at that, that it didn't accurately reflect her friend's real thoughts.

But then she remembered Mom's advice. This was just her doubt speaking to her again, to try and bog her down. Leni realized this was her friend she was talking to. If Helen really thought she was weird or unloveable, then she would have gone away by now. As hard as it was for her to accept, there did come a point where one's presence really did indicate affection.

"Thanks," Leni said softly.

She knew it wasn't gonna be that easy. There were gonna be many times (far too many to count) where she would have to remind herself of this. But she knew she had others willing to help.

"So how about the Fashion Show?"

Leni shook her head as she tried bringing herself back to reality.

"I still wanna do it with you," Helen said, smiling.

Her eyes widened.

"Really?"

"Of course."

She didn't know what to say. There was nothing else Leni wanted to hear than her friend acknowledge her own self-worth. Helen truly was beautiful. The whole point of her being in the Fashion Show was so that others could see that (plus it would be fun to have a friend involved). The smile she formed on her face was uncontrollable. As was the hug Leni gave Helen.

"Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!" Leni exclaimed, huddled down beside her friend.

"I really like your dress and I would like to wear it," she heard Helen say.

Yes. Of course. Leni had designed that dress specifically for Helen. Sure, it wasn't done, but there was time. There was such an abundance of time that Leni knew she would have it be the most perfect dress imaginable for such a perfect friend.

The dress looked even better on a person than a hanger. Leni smiled as she stared straight on at Helen. The two of them stood in the stage's wing waiting. Despite the lack of natural light, the few inklings of spotlight reflected beautifully on her friend. After all this time, Leni knew this is what her friend needed.

"You look great," Leni eagerly whispered.

"Thanks," Helen muttered nervously.

That had to be it, Leni thought. Her friend just had stage fright. And luckily, she had an idea to resolve it.

Leni took Helen's hand and grasped it. The transformation defied the dimness in which it occurred. Leni saw her friend's eyes light up and her face relax instantaneously. She was forced to recognize that this was her doing, that her own action had calmed her friend's nerves.

"You'll be great," Leni said mentally. She hoped it would somehow permeate from her mind to Helen's, as if their connected hands was the bridge capable of letting the message travel. Would she get it?

For the most part, the show went according to plan. Each model got on stage on schedule wearing the right outfit. There were (thankfully) no malfunctions. The spotlight easily followed each person's predictable movements, allowing whatever sequin or sparkle that was on a given dress to sparkle. As each person finished, Leni whispered "Good job". Sometimes, she even complimented it with a pat on the back.

They deserved it after all. Even though she was left with a silly name (President), Leni knew that these folks were the true backbone of the club. As Leni watched each of them, she formulated a specific accomplishment that they achieved. Morgan made threee dresses, including her own. Eliza did much of the promotion for this specific Show and even helped sell tickets. Cynthia crafted a stunning white dress (which earned a standing ovation) and even got a bunch of her friends to purchase tickets. When it all broke down, Leni knew her own role was limited. For the most part, she signed off on ideas put forward by other people. Even now, she knew that Tyler was in the back regulating the lineup.

Her biggest job at this point was encouraging Helen. This was the moment that Leni had talked her into. She told her friend that she would be great out there. And she believed every word of it. The purple and yellow dress she constructed was divine, just the thing Leni knew was gonna accentuate everything that made Helen wonderful (her brown hair, her serenity, her gentle grace). Now, it was just keeping her confidence up. That was the type of friend Leni could be.

"And now, for our last act," the announcer said, "not all beauty races out into a fiery display."

Leni gripped her friend's hand. She gave her a glance and a warm smile. Luckily, Helen's lips curled into a smile of her own. It was brilliant.

"Sometimes, it comes in a gradual, elegant metamorphosis. It grows with nurturing from the sun and blooms into a simple, graceful flower. Its strength comes from tranquility, its ability to inspire us while easing us into accomplishing whatever we set out to do. Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you Helen Yates."

Surprisingly, it was Helen who took the first step. Leni felt herself being dragged on by her friend, but she didn't mind. This was exactly what she had anticipated. While Leni tried her best to subdue herself, she couldn't help but keep her head fixed on Helen as she edged out onto the stage. The applause popped her ears.

She watched as her friend halted at the center. Leni tried leaning forward to catch a glimpse at her face. Helen was awestruck. Her eyes shone spectacularly against the spotlight. The outline it crafted around her brown locks was stunning. Helen was too shocked to smile or do anything. She just gazed out into the sea of cheering people.

Leni pondered why. Wasn't Helen happy? The applause said it all. Right? Maybe deep down, she was grateful. Helen wasn't one for being in crowds, even when she was with her friend. Maybe she was just being modest. After all, Helen also wasn't one for showboating or resorting to grand gestures.

Nonetheless, Leni gave her friend a pat on the back. Helen turned to her. She still wasn't smiling. The stage had done its job at keeping her humble. But now that she caught a straight shot of those eyes, the picture became clear.

They were far more cozy and relaxed than Leni had ever seen them. There was a peace, a liberation at work in that reserved mind of her's. While Leni wasn't looking, she felt her hand being touched by that familiar warm palm. The contact was soothing, devoid of any fear-induced tension. Helen truly was at peace.

And it was then that Leni saw the wonderful beauty of yellow at work.

The two pulled in for a hug, inciting even more cheering. Leni blushed, realizing that was her doing. Her friend was finally seeing the love she rightfully deserved. And maybe Leni was starting to recognize something similar to that.

As Leni got closer to the front door, she wished she had Helen to help her out. Her heart sped up, her head grew light, and the mere presence of her family made her uncomfortable. What type of questions were they asking? Sure, they had given her nice things to say about the Show. In Lana's words, it took a lot of guts to get up on stage wearing a dress. But Leni knew where the real guts were.

Once they all entered and dispersed, Leni retreated to her bedroom. As she raced up the stairs, she didn't even bother to look behind her. After all, almost none of them had been told of this special day (or the thing that really made it special).

She slipped the bedroom door shut and opened up her phone. Her fingers twitched, turning the usually easy process of getting past the lock screen a tedious chore. Leni fudged the security code twice due to a slip of the thumb. She couldn't help it, though. Her shortness of breath and complete mental preoccupation limited her ability to do something "simple".

Eventually (which was practically an understatement), Leni got the phone open. She raced straight to her email and updated it. It took several moments (with bated breath and a slow connection) for the new emails to pop up. Leni expected two messages and her inbox announced that many unread pieces of mail.

First was Central Michigan University. Out of the three schools she applied to, this one was most like a regular school, the kind that Lori went to. Mom and Dad suggested that she apply to it as a "safety schoool", the kind that didn't have a large slew of fashionistas and designers competing for few spots. After looking into it, the campus looked pretty. It was nice and away from the big city, a fact that Leni admired. And most importantly, even though it wasn't a specialty school, it had a program in fashion design, so she could learn whatever there was to learn while getting a college education.

Leni eagerly opened the email.

"Dear Leni M. Loud,

Congratulations! You have been offered admission at Central Michigan University."

The letter continued for several paragraphs, but the message was perfectly clear.

She didn't know what to think. Despite having mediocre grades, she somehow got into college. Leni eagerly grinned as she dug her free hand into her cushy mattress. A lot of her anxiety melted away into the still air. Maybe it was the letters of recommendation that helped her out, or her title as "Fashion Club President". Either that, or Mom's help really elevated her essay. Leni knew Mom was a good writer, but this was all too much.

Now, it was time to look at the other school.

The other school was the Parsons School of Design. Situated in the heart of New York, it quickly popped out to Leni as one of the premier fashion schools in the country. While she wasn't a city dweller, Leni was more than happy to apply to the school. If it meant getting a top of the line education with access to the best internships, then it was worth swallowing her personal preferences. Needless to say, admission was competitive (hence why her parents urged her to apply to Central Michigan).

Leni was hesitant to open this email. That brand name flashed on her phone screen, sending shivers down her spine. She knew she wasn't good enough for this top school. There were far more fish in the ocean than she could count, particularly when it came to young, ambitious fashion designers (that loved the big city). She knew she held it off in order to avoid the inevitable.

Well, as Lori likes to say.

She popped open the email and scrolled to the decision letter.

"Dear Leni M. Loud,

Thank you for your interest in the Parsons School Of Design. After careful consideration of your application, I am sorry to inform you that we are unable to offer you a place in the class of 2022."

Similar to the other letter, the subsequent paragraphs were redundant.

Leni wasn't sure how to feel. She knew this was gonna happen, that no amount of self-flattery was gonna magically change that.

And yet, that was it. Normally, she would have expected the voice to creep its way into her head and ruin her sleep. Leni was supposed to hate herself, that she was nothing. She knew that she hadn't entirely gotten past that. There were still days when she mocked herself, belittled what pathetic "accomplishments" she could muster together. And this was certainly the king of failures.

Was she starting to get better? Was this just because she already knew her future was secure? Did Helen find her way into her room and tell her it was alright?

Whatever the explanation was, Leni didn't wish to look too deeply into the matter. She got two letters, one of them an acceptance. She was willing to accept that at face value and celebrate her little victory.

And no voice (or lack thereof) was gonna spoil it.