Jade and Mike's wedding day has finally arrived. After months of planning, preparation and anxiety, it's here. You're her maid of honor, you squealed with delight when she asked you and hopped around before pulling her into a bear hug. You two became so close on tour, I'm not really sure if you were surprised or just excited. So, now we're here. Well, I'm here and you're tucked away in the back getting ready. I'm impatient to see you. I hate going to weddings alone, and even though you're here and you're my girlfriend, I feel like I'm alone.
I know a few of the other attendees from your dance company cocktail parties, performances and other social gatherings, but I don't know them that well. To be honest, this wedding is huge and I'm just uncomfortable. I feel as though most of the people here, family and close friends of both parties, are looking at me as if I don't belong.
I don't know why I'm this insecure, baby. You always make me feel welcome and cherished in your group of friends. I'm sitting next to Anna, another one of your friends who I've known for a while. I like her and we aren't struggling for conversation, I just feel antsy and I can't put my finger on it, I've never felt this way at a wedding before.
I also haven't seen you in two days, which might explain some of it. I said goodbye to you Wednesday night after the bachelorette party, you were whisked away in a stretch limo with the five other bridesmaids, to spend Thursday in the hotel suite with Jade, getting pampered with massages and facials and mani/pedis at the spa before the wedding today. It was her gift to you all for being in the wedding, and your last bonding time before she became a married woman. You called from the hotel before dinner that night and told me how relaxed you were and how much you enjoyed your spa treatment. I smiled, you totally deserved that day, babe. You work so hard and you put such a toll on your body to create your art. Knowing you had a nice, deep massage and some pampering made me warm inside.
But, then you had the rehearsal dinner and today you had all the wedding preparations. We texted briefly, but you were flitting around getting hair, makeup and pictures done. You played coy when I asked you how they did your hair, texting that I'd just have to wait and see, even though I begged for a photo. Not seeing your face for a couple of days has made me cranky in the weirdest way. Which is strange- we've spent time apart, and you toured, and we don't stay over every night. But, knowing that you were here and available but restricted from seeing me made it seem different.
The church is beautifully decorated, creating a lovely atmosphere. The flower arrangements lining the aisles and altar are stunning, and wafting a wonderful aroma through the air. There's a pianist playing soft, classical pieces, you know "wedding music" for us all. Anna is chattering beside me, telling me how the couple struggled over what songs to have featured. I don't really care, but I nod and smile. Planning a wedding must be difficult. Finally, Mike and his groomsmen file out onto the altar and the chattering quiets down. It's time.
The mothers of the bride and groom are walked down the aisle and seated, the flower girl and ring bearer take their time, overwhelmed but adorable. I'm on the aisle where I know you'll be able to see me. Mainly because Anna didn't want to be an unwitting extra in any pictures, and also because she had been saving a seat next to her in the middle of the bench for a friend who ended up sitting with her boyfriend a few rows behind us.
I can feel my body filling with anticipation now. I'm excited for the wedding, yes. They are your close friends and a couple we love to spend time with. I will be thrilled to see their vows and partake in this special moment. But, really, I'm excited to see your face, babe.
I almost feel as nervous as Mike up there waiting to see his bride in her dress, waiting to see her begin her long walk up the aisle to join him.
I smile to myself, the comparison making me giggle. There's no way this moment is as monumental as his.
One by one the other bridesmaids travel down the aisle in what seems to be the slowest gait ever known to man. Finally, it's your turn. I see your outline, lit from the sunlight streaming in the church behind you. Your blond hair pulled up around your face, your sage dress hugging your curves. With each step you come closer and closer to me. I know you haven't spotted me yet. Your eyes scanning the crowd. You're a quarter up the aisle when you do. Your blue eyes finding mine, the spark between us igniting. I hear myself gasp as my breath is taken away. You look stunning. So, so beautiful. Your eyes soften with recognition and a lazy smile spreads across your face, replacing the stiff, formal one that was there before. That one was for everyone else, the one for the crowd and the pictures.
No, this lazy smile, this smile is just for me.
You sway your hips a little bit more as you continue up the aisle, never taking your eyes off me. I want to look at your dress, and your long legs in those heels, but I can't take my eyes off your face.
When you pass me, you shoot me a wink. I can see the sparkle in your eyes and I finally feel like I can breathe again. You head up to the altar and my eyes follow you, using the opportunity to watch your strong calves. your defined shoulders, and your ass.
Finally the bridal march beings playing. And I snap my eyes away from you to look at Mike, wanting to see his reaction as he sees Jade. The look of pure love and joy on his face brings tears to my eyes, but I don't let them fall. Instead, blinking them away as I turn to look at her. She looks stunning, and so happy. My eyes follow her as she passes me on her way to meet Mike, and I can feel your gaze. When I meet your eyes again, they hold the same amount of joy and love as I saw in hers.
I am blown over by the way your look makes me feel. It's as if you are offering me every piece of your soul. I can feel all my big feelings for you rattling around inside of my being. You smile at me again, before you shift your attention to the bride, accepting her proffered bouquet.
You sneak looks and shy smiles to me throughout the ceremony, and though I feel calmer, I know I won't feel settled until I can kiss you and feel you in my arms again. You feel so close to me, yet still so far away.
The vows the couple exchange are beautiful and I feel myself tearing up again hearing them, and when I chance a look at you and watch as you wipe away a tear, I feel those big feelings inside of me clanging and raging within me. You stir something inside of me that no one else has ever done before.
After the kiss, you walk back down the aisle with the best man, and wink at me again as you pass, your smile huge on your overjoyed face. Anna leans over and says something in my ear about how cute we are, and I just laugh and shake my head in amusement.
We have to wait for the rows behind us to clear out a little bit before we can head outside. I know you still have to take formal pictures, but I'm hoping to catch you before you're whisked away again.
I have no such luck, walking outside of the church just in time to see your limo pull away. I can feel my heart fall with my hopes, and follow Anna to the shuttles that will take us to the cocktail hour before the reception.
I'm officially cranky and snappy again. That was my chance to see you, babe. Now we'll have drinks and hors d'oervs while you take photos, then we'll be ushered to our tables for dinner while you'll sit with the bridal party up front. My kiss will have to wait until after dinner.
On the shuttle I check my phone and find a text from you. My heart skips a beat when I read it, You look so hot in that dress, babe. Can't wait to see it on the floor later… It's followed by a winking emoji.
I know I'm blushing when I look back up.
I don't know how you do it, but you always know how to make me feel wonderful inside.
Anna laughs at my face and asks when we're getting married. I feel my jaw drop open and my eyes go wide before she laughs again and tells me to calm down, she was joking. I respond, "Not funny." and punch her on the arm.
She says, "It's only a matter of time…"
I feel my stomach flip flop and I know she's right. It is only a matter of time. We haven't been dating long, and we haven't officially talked about it, but I know. I know I want to marry you. I know I want to call you my wife. I know I want a life with you.
Cocktail hour passes surprisingly quickly. I'm surrounded by your company members, a few of whom came solo, and we laugh and get buzzed surprisingly fast. Our dinner table is near the back of the hall, apparently they were right to designate us as the loud and rowdy crowd. I can feel my cheeks starting to hurt from laughter. Your friends are all great, babe.
You walk in with the bridal party and I let out a loud woop as you're announced. You blush and chuckle when you find me in the crowd, and send me a little wave. We settle in for dinner, which is delicious, and pass quick looks back and forth to one another from our separate tables.
When its time for the speeches, you start to look nervous. You wouldn't let me see your speech, which I found odd, since you were so nervous about it. When you finally start speaking, your story begins with your tour, and I know why you didn't want me to see it beforehand. Because I'm featured. I'm surprised when I recognize the story and that you're talking about me, and I feel the world freezing around me as you look between me and Jade.
"As many of you may know, Jade and I dance for the same company. A little over a year ago, we embarked on a short tour with the company to feature some of our new pieces. I had known Jade pretty well before the tour, but it was during this time that I really bonded with her. See, our tour happened at a really inopportune time for both of us. Jade and Mike had just gotten engaged a few months before, and I had just met the most incredible woman. The miles of that tour that tore us apart from our relationships worked to bring the two of us together. I remember sitting in our hotel room one night after a particularly long day of travel and a grueling performance, hearing Jade start crying while she was talking to Mike on the phone in the bathroom. I could tell they weren't fighting, anyone who knows Jade and Mike knows that they don't fight often, because they're amazing together. But, the sound of the tears she was crying were so familiar to me. It was the sound of heartache. And I knew exactly how she felt. I hadn't yet told her that I had just gotten serious with someone, but the emotion behind her voice was so familiar to me. It was the feeling of missing someone so much you don't really know what to do with yourself. And you can't fix it, but you just want it to end.
Jade came out of the bathroom and I saw her trying to hide her tears, but before she could I stood up and pulled her into a huge hug and started crying too. We stayed like that for a while before pulling apart, and I remember we started laughing at how pathetic we were. She asked me why I was crying and I said it was because I recognized the longing in her voice, and that's exactly how I felt every time I thought about or called or texted my girl.
After that moment, we fell into a fit of laughter about how pathetic we were, how heartsick we were, how girly we were. It was in that moment that I knew I had found one of my soul mates. Jade and I became bonded for life.
Ok, so I know I talked a lot about me in this speech, but I had to set the scene. I had only met Mike a few times before our tour. Even though he and Jade had been dating for a while, they kept their relationship pretty private. But, after that night of giggles, she told me more and more about how she felt about Mike, how much she loved him, how great he made her feel. And, I saw the way her face lit up with love, and the look of pure happiness she got in her eyes when she said his name. And I knew, that no matter how many miles were between them, or whatever challenges they faced, that they were solid, that they were it.
When we got back home and I met Mike again, and saw the way that he looked at Jade, I felt my heart burst a little bit. These two crazies were made for each other. You can see it in the way they soften around one another, in the way they bring out the best in each other, in the way they take on everything together, as a couple. I know in my heart that Jade and Mike will make each other happy for the rest of their days.
So, let's all raise a glass, to love, to forever, to Jade and her Mike."
Babe, I wish I could describe the feeling that burst inside of me when you said 'my girl', or when you looked at me when you said the words 'forever,' 'heartsick,' or how you talked about taking on the world together.
It was as if every feeling I had ever felt for you magnified by a thousand. I just wanted to jump up there and kiss you, but I felt so rooted, so grounded to the spot as you caught my eye. You took my breath away. With your speech, with the look you gave me, with everything you are.
In that moment, I could see everything in front of us, and I know you could see it too.
A/N: Psyched you out! Don't worry, all will come in due time. Hope you're all liking the story so far. Comment/Review if you feel so inclined.