Data Log Entry: # 21840310
I reported back to the Citadel at once after Professor's T'Soni's discovery. Udina sounded distracted and barely acknowledged that I had said anything about Ilos. However the Human Ambassador did say he wanted us to report back to the Citadel at once. The Council was massing a joint-species fleet to deal with Saren and his geth. They wanted the Normandy to lead the attack.
When I was meeting with the Council, they informed me that "if Saren was foolish enough to attack the Citadel – as I believed he would – they would be ready for him." The Turian Councilor also told me that patrols were stationed at every mass relay linking Citadel space to the Terminus System.
When I asked them, "how many ships were they sending to attack Ilos?", the meeting suddenly took a spiral turn for the worse. By their mere expressions, including Udina's, you would have thought I asked what color underwear was the asari councilor was wearing. They were appalled by the question.
The salarian finally responded by saying that Ilos was only accessible through the Mu Relay deep inside the Terminus Systems. He then told me that if they sent a fleet there, it would result in a full-scale war; and the council didn't want to risk that.
Udina then went on like he was the all mighty hand of wisdom. "Now is the time for discretion Commander" he said; like he couldn't even say my name. I wanted to punch his lights out. Doesn't he know that I risked my life and my crew's lives to get this information and he's just going to sit on it? Bastard. He really has no idea who he is dealing with. Then the buggie little man went on to say that "Saren's greatest weapon was secrecy. Exposed he was no longer a threat and that it was over."
He must not have been paying attention. He didn't think that Saren convincing one of the asari's most influential people of peace, Matriarch Benezia into doing his bidding wasn't bad. Or what about capturing Rachni queens, that wasn't bad. Oh he must have forgotten that Saren recruited the GETH to fight on his side and that he has a ship that allows him to control minds. Yeah absolutely nothing to worry about there Chief.
Damn if Udina's head wasn't so far up the council's asses, they wouldn't of dismissed the case so quickly, I could have explained these things to them.
I tried to tell them about Sovereign and how Saren was just his puppet. But they wouldn't hear it. I even tried to warn them about the conduit being a great weapon, but all they heard was that the conduit was a distraction from Saren's real plan to attack the Citadel. Saren sure did go out of his way then for a bloody smoke screen. When I told them then at least send me to Ilos after Saren, Udina went into his Humanity's made great gains but that I was now becoming more trouble than I was worth.
I swear to God, I was about to head butt his ass like a krogan right then and there if the asari councilor hadn't interrupted. She said "they couldn't risk a full scale war over a dream." There was nothing I could do, their minds were made up. Then to make matters worse, as I thought at that moment it couldn't get any worse, Udina grounds me and the Normandy.
I can't even explain the blood rage I am feeling right now. I've got to get out of this cabin. I'm going to get a drink in the mess hall.
- Twenty minutes later –
My emotions must be all over the place. I just bumped into Liara on the mess decks. She was coming to check on me. She knew the council and Udina had just betrayed me. I felt like throwing in the towel when she convinced me otherwise. You should have seen it. I was sitting in a corner sulking like a little girl. And that's when it happened, well almost happened.
Liara reached out her hand to help pull me up. When I got to my feet I literally bumped into her. For a fleeting moment all time seem to stand still. There was no ship, no grounding, not even Saren's threat existed in that moment. Hey eyes never looked so enthralling and as I swallowed hard, it occurred to me that I had never been that physically close to her before. In a panic I didn't seem to step away and neither did she, which is why I remained in her embrace as my eyes scanned hers.
A smiled tugged as the edge of my mouth when I became utterly memorized by her absolute beauty. Ever so slightly I felt her lean forward a little. Without as much as a second thought I leaned in to. My dying question that I had kept secret for months would finally be answered. How delicious would those blue lips actually taste?
Pressing forward so close that I could actually smell the sweetness of her breath I prepared myself for the softest kiss I had ever experienced. Well what would have been.
Damn it Joker interrupted the would-be kiss over the 1MC. I could have killed him right then and there. He used some bs excuse. "Oh sorry Commander. Didn't know you had company." If he wasn't looking at the monitor then how did he know I wasn't alone. Remind me to rip him a new one.
Well clearly Liara was embarrassed too as she immediately put some distance between us. Kicking at the ground I asked Joker what was so important. Sounding like he was off in la la land, he finally replied. "Captain Anderson said to meet him at Flux - that club down in the wards. He made it sound important. You better get down there."
All I said back was "Copy that". I was.. I don't know what I was, all I knew was what I wasn't and I wasn't kissing Liara. Peddling backwards, Liara said that she would be in the cargo bay in five then disappeared. When she left, I felt like a part of my heart left the room as well.
Standing in the elevator, that never ends on the Citadel, I wanted to crawl into any hole; no matter how small it was at the moment. But as I barely glanced over my shoulder at Liara, dressed in her matching white armor to mine, she briefly smiled back as if nothing had just happened. It was then that I pulled my boot straps up and figured, if she could remain professional, then so could I. We had an impossible mission to complete after all.
Anderson knew I was super pissed off at the moment about being grounded and being regarded to in front of the council as a flight risk and a pain in the ass. He told that I couldn't give up. Not now. He unlocked the Normandy from one of the consoles in the Citadel control center. We had only a few minutes to get the hell out of there and it paid off. I just hope we are right about Ilos or Anderson will face severe consequences for his actions.
- 2330 hours
I can't sleep a wink. So much happened today and I am still trying to wrap my head around it. I can't focus on a thing. I am actually using voice mode because after trying six times to type the first sentence, I gave up. That doesn't even account for what happened or almost happened between Liara and me earlier this afternoon. The way my head is swirling right now, I can't afford that luxury.
I am a wreck right now. My hands are shaking and I am having a hard time breathing. Christ, how am I supposed to take on Saren when I can't even write a simple journal entry? *Large thud in background.* Great now my hand hurts after slamming it on the desk. Fuck! I need to calm down and center myself. We will be arriving at Ilos in a couple of hours and I'm a ball of nerves.
Voice sensors indicate that the cabin door swished open.
Sounds of footsteps enter the Commanding Officer's Chambers. Someone has entered the room.
"I'm sorry to bother you. Shepard, may I speak with you?" Data bases confirm the voice belongs to Professor T'Soni.
"Sure. I always have time for you Liara" responded Commander Shepard. "I was just thinking about you."
"I have been thinking about you too and what we are about to face." Professor T'Soni replied.
There was no reply from Commander Shepard.
"There is something I must tell you, in case we fail." Professor T'Soni stated.
"We are not going to fail Liara." Commander Shepard replied.
Sounds of Professor T'Soni steps moving closer to Commander Shepard. "I think it is time we are completely honest with each other." Voice module volume increased as Professor's T'Soni's words became softer. "These could be our last moments together."
Based on echo sound analysis Profession T'Soni is now standing only 10.3 inches from Commander Shepard.
"Our last chance to show each other how we really feel. I want this to be special."
"I want this Liara I do, but are sure you're ready?" Questioned Commander Shepard
"I have never been more sure of anything in my life Shepard." There was a three second delay before Liara continued, "Will you join with me Shepard?" Answered Professor T'Soni
* * Loud distortion as if something is moving too close to the mic **
2337 Voice mode was switched off.