Open Wounds

by 216BLT

AU: The past is the past. Puck, Santana, & Rachel Corcoran have moved on from theirs, but when their mother decides to take in a teen, old memories resurface. Also, new scars are made as they navigate through adolescence, ones that might not heal.

44. Chapter 44

Chapter 44

Thank you everyone for your support. I really appreciate it. I'm sorry this took so long to post.

Justholdingon - Thank you so much for your review. Don't apologize for not reviewing all the time. People get busy. I am just glad that you enjoy it. I was at first upset about the review but my beta was even more upset. People are entitled to their own opinions but I do question why they kept reading. But we will never know because they were not brave enough to sign in and allow discussion about it. Thank you for your continuous support and I hope you like this chapter.

SadPanda13 – Thank you so much. I just had to stop my beta from going postal. But like I told her they can write anything they want. It is not going to change what I want to write or how I am going to write it. Thank you so much for your continuous support.

Gleeks09 – Thank you so much. I really like your story and it means a lot when other writers such as yourself or SadPanda review my story. As you know it takes a lot of effort to write a story and is sometimes hurtful when people try to cut you down and not offer constructive critism but they can do that so there is nothing I can do about it. I thank you so very much for your support though.

Rae4509 – Thank you so much for reviewing. The other reviewer is entitled to their opinion although I am with you and question why he/she read so far into the story. But we will never know because they are anonymous. So I am moving on and thank you for your continuous support

Realitychecker – Thank you for your review. Please stop reading this story. My Beta actually wrote a lengthy response to your review but you are entitled to your opinion so I told her just let it go. Have a nice life

Janie - Russell did spare Quinn some but he left her with a lifetime of nightmares and for the most part it was just another thing he only did to spare himself more time in jail. However this time it did not work out for him. Frannie finally is faced with the truth even though she herself witnessed much of the abuse. Joey truly did stand up for her family and her newest niece. Shelby does have a therapist and will use them and has used them I just have not shown it. Thank you so much for reviewing my story. It means the world.

Stormhallow88 - First I love how you called this chapter an episode. It made me laugh. Noah and San both stepped up for the sister and it was very important for them to do that. Will won't be loose for too long. Thanks for the review.

Lolathe17th - Holly is going to be here for a while. Even with the older kids going back to school she is still needed and will stay on. They have missed a lot of school and will need the extra attention. Sorry you were in tears. The next couple of chapters may have you in tears as well. Thanks so much for your review.

amandaes417 - Thank you so much for your kind words. There was a lot of progress for the kids in the chapter. Holly is needed because these kids will go back to school eventually and they are hurting emotionally we can't let the school work get that far behind. We don't want to have to worry about that too. Holly will be here for a while.

lovecanbesostrange - This was much needed for Quinn and the proof was in the miscarriage so it proves that she wasn't lying. Frannie is a hot mess and her upbringing has been horrendous. Joey finally getting to tell Judy what a creature she has become was hard for all involved. Shelby is giving her all to these kids and there are cracks in her strength but she will keep going and make sure all her kids are taken care of. Quite a bit of time has passed for these kids to miss school but it has actually been about 2 weeks - this is the end of their suspension and so a tutor was a must however, Holly is staying on for all of them. It will just be in different capacities. Yes Helen noticed right away that Quinn slept easier so the solution was right there. It will help Quinn with one small issue in her life because right now she has so many and a good night sleep is needed for her on a consistent basis. Will is on the loose but for how long? hmmm. There was a lot packed into that chapter but I think there is a lot packed into this one as well. I hope you enjoy it and thanks so much for your review.

Guest - This chapter will explain if Frannie is up to something. Sorry about throwing your emotions all over the place. I think that this chapter will cause that too. Hang on! Thanks for the review.

Lexie-Rae - Does Shelby even have time for a man? There is so much going on that Shelby is lucky to have time to sleep or eat. But don't think I have forgotten and you may or may not see someone enter the picture soon for Shelby. Holly will have an interesting effect on all the kids and Rachel will be no exception. She will bring out things in Rachel that I don't think anyone else can. Joey will stick up for any of her nieces any time any place. This chapter definitely cemented how much the kids now view each other as siblings now and forever. Thanks for reviewing and I am glad you liked it.

renata - As much as they are all stuck in the moments of what is happening to the or has happened to them they really do need to focus on other things it will help them all try to feel a piece of "normal" and they all need that especially Quinn and Rachel - and that is what Holly will try to do. There is a lot happening in this chapter as well so to distract them with day to day things is a necessity. Shelby couldnt handle a pet right now so even though Rachel loves and may respond to one right now would not be the right time for it. The site is changing things all the time apparently so I am just trying to go with the flow. I love your reviews so I am glad you can still review. Thank you.

Abbie - I havent had a chance to read that book but maybe I will check it out. I am sorry this story brings back some unhappy memories for you and I am thankful that even though it is painful for you - you are sticking with the story. Thanks for the review.

Scout - What you are trying to say does make sense. It did seem easy that Russell was sent away too easy and is it really that easy? Maybe / Maybe not - Quinn didnt have to answer any questions in court because instead of facing more charges (there were several more counts of rape he could have been tried for) Russell decided to plead guilty in hopes that he would get a lesser sentence - which did not happen - but he thought it might - and so Quinn did not have to testify against her father - she only gave a victim impact statement. Santana and Noah stepping up for Quinn was amazing. Thank you for reviewing and I am hoping that it cleared up your question.

Taylor - Quinn is now starting to think of Shelby as her mom, a real loving mom, but she has had 16 years with the monster of a mother so it is really hard for her. And you can see the confusion when she doesnt know where she will be in 2 years. Does she really think that Shelby or any of the Corcoran's will allow her to be a stripper? The Corcoran's accept her as a daughter, sibling, granddaughter, niece so they will pay for her college degree as they would their own. You will see what will happen to Judy in this chapter. I promise you. Thanks for the review.

Anna - You will see what happens to Judy and to some extent Frannie in this chapter. This was planned from almost the beginning of the story so it has been a long time coming. Rambling is certainly allowed in reviews. Thank you for reviewing.

Filmaddict - Joey is special to me and I am glad people like her because sometimes it is hard to write OC's. You will definitely see in this chapter if Joey has had any effect on Judy. The stuff Joey said to Judy had to be said and should have been said a lot early probably not in a public store but Judy should have been confronted years ago by many people. Thank you for liking Joey as much as I do. Holly is a much needed distraction and also the kids have been away from school for a while and they do have to go back very soon so this is much needed for all of them. Thanks for the review.

alopez208- Thank you for your patience with me. I apologize because sometimes I try so hard to get the chapters out on a consistent basis but one thing or another gets me distracted. Sometimes I start writing one thing and it leads to something unexpected so it causes a delay. Thank you so much much for following me and enjoying this story. It inspires me to keep writing.

OTHangels - Thanks!

Cookie07 - Rachel is still Rachel and I hope she never loses that and because its my story she will not. San would never consider herself as brave because there has been so many times that she feels that she has not stepped up (even though that is not true) but she will learn in counseling and by growing up that she is truly one brave little girl. Tina Cohen Chang - who's that ? (just kidding) underused in the show and not yet used in my story - hmmmmm. Shelby is human and she is cracking a little but she is strong and in my story she will remain strong. Thanks for the review.

Drea LuRuiz - Lots did happen in the chapter but this chapter has a lot more happening. Sorry I made you cry. It actually made my beta cry as well and she knows the story and where it is going and what happens. Will being out is not good for anyone. Thanks for reviewing the story.

snowdrop1026 - Thank you so much I am glad you are enjoying the story as much. The kind of mother that Judy is one with no maternal instinct, no moral compass and a person that holds very little self worth. Unfortunately, there are actually mothers in this world that do this too. I am actually glad that you can not wrap your head around this kind of person - no one should be able to. I hope to show in this story and the sequel I have planned that despite all of these things that have happened this family will persevere. There will certainly more bumps and bruises along the way but they will all make it out ok - especially the girls. You will have more Frannie and Judy in this chapter as well. Quinn did get a small degree of closure but the hill is still very very steep for this girl. The wounds for her are still wide open and just because her father is locked away the damage is severe. Thanks for reviewing.

Fangirl44 - Yes you are right - Yay for him going to jail but Quinn is far from ok - but she will work on that! Thanks for the review.

blueaske - Wow impressive - 3 days 4 hours of sleep each night - wow. I am sorry that all that happened to you. I am glad though this story has helped you in some sort of way. As you can see, #1 you persevered but the scars are still there 23 years later. They may fade but they are there and they run deep. However, be proud of yourself you are a true survivor. Thank you for sharing a piece of you and I am truly honored by your words.

Ninjagleek21- Thank you for sending Russell back - but I do need some help with Will so I will be calling on you very soon to help me get him back where he belongs. Thanks as always for the cookies.

look4me - You will see more of Frannie in this chapter. It maybe good it may be bad but it is in here just the same. I am not a Frannie fan though. Quinn letting Joey in is huge in terms of Quinn growing with this family. Yes she has let Shelby, Rachel, San and Noah in but to let Joey in is very big. Quinn is with the Corcorans for the long run. Even if she wanted out - which she doesn't - they would never let her go at this point it would be like giving up on one of their own kids. Sorry about the wait but I had a great bday and my bestie from home came to visit and we had a great time. I do hope though it will be the longest wait any of you will have to endure for this story because I missed writing this story. Thanks for the review.

marinka4 - You will see more of Russell, Judy and Frannie in this chapter sorry but they are still not well liked. San and Noah were very brave and you should be proud. Holly will help all the kids and she will be really good for Rachel. Shelby will hold it together because she is very strong but she will also have help along the way. Thank you for your review.

AC one - Thank you. Holly is a breath of fresh air. The girls know that Noah is there for them always he just has to feel it. I am glad you enjoyed this chapter.

bornthisway0201 - Wow a nice long review! Rachel has taken a lot and she will be continuously going through a lot emotionally but will we see if he harms her anymore (I can't give that away) but you will find out soon I promise I won't drag it out. Britt is San's calming force right now but she can't lean on her too much even though Britt will be there for her. She needs to be able to calm herself for a long term relationship to work but trust me they are end game in my story so no worries there. Quinn is a lost sole right now. She has some really tough times ahead and she will struggle but now she has the love and support of family so it will be hard but she will get there. Shelby will succeed. She is a strong driven woman. Noah is the brother that everyone should have. The girls know that Noah just has to believe that in himself. I love your reviews and I completely understand that people don't review every chapter (although I do love them and feed off of them) Thank you so much for your continued support.

Ryoko05 - Thank you for reviewing. Holly is the breath of fresh air that is needed. She is the first person other than the Pierces and the therapists that these kids have been interacting with outside of family. It gives them a little piece of normalcy back. Shelby's breakdown albeit brief and a dream shows that she is human and doing her best but she herself will have lapses as well. Russell will hopefully die in prison. He got the sentence he deserved. Will being loose is very disconcerning for everyone but he will be caught soon enough. Suzy Peppers has no friends and a non supportive family she fell into Will's trap. But you are correct she is an accomplice at this point.

Jamison08 - Here is the next one - glad you enjoyed ! Thank you

TommyH - Yes Russell is in jail for a long long time. Thanks

solyane1 - Thank you so much for your kind words. I hope you enjoy this update too. I am glad you had a chance to catch up.

broadwaybound2016 - I am so happy you love this story. I hope you like what is coming up it was something planned from the very beginning and it is finally coming to fruition. Thank you for reviewing.

…..

Shelby wiped her hands on a dish towel and looked into the family room. The kids were quietly watching television. Rachel was curled into Santana's side. The small girl bit her finger idly as she held her stuffed monkey tightly with her other arm.

"Stop that," Quinn nudged from Rachel's other side pushing Rachel's hand away from her face forcing her to cease biting on her finger like a toddler.

"Leave her be," Santana muttered.

Shelby was concerned from them. She wasn't sure how to tackle the issues. She wasn't sure where to begin. She felt as if a weight had been lifted from her shoulders with Russell being put away, but she felt like she was missing

"They're okay," Joey said coming behind her sister. Shelby jumped slightly and gave a tiny smile. She returned to the sink. "How are you? How's it going upstairs?" Shelby asked turning to Joey. "Did Mom kill Dad?"

Joey smiled. "There's some swearing and groaning but they're getting there." She rolled her eyes. "It's Mom and Dad and Noah are up there. They're all butting heads about the directions and Mom is muttering about how Ikea is better." She looked at her watch. "Bear was supposed to be here. It's past seven so I don't know where he is." She shrugged. "Did Quinn react to the bed?"

"Well, she kinda smirked," Shelby shook her head. "Of all the things on her mind, she explained to me that changing beds was a small insignificant change. And of course, she protested and said we shouldn't have put in the time and effort."

Joey smiled. "Of course." She paused and watched the girls in the living room.

"This is stupid, San, change the channel," Quinn whined as Santana stopped at some vampire show.

"We're not watching Sci Fi crap," Santana mumbled. Santana looked at her with frown. "You're a nerd. A huge one, don't pretend not to be."

Quinn frowned but felt Rachel leaned into her.

"You're not a nerd," Rachel said quietly looking up at her.

"Yes, she is," Santana fired.

The phone rang interrupting their thoughts. As Shelby picked it up, Bear came through the door tiredly.

"Hey there," Joey said kissing him softly. She pushed away and rested her hand on her chest. "What's wrong with your face?"

His frown was etched deep in his brow. She followed his gaze. He was staring at Shelby. "What's your problem, cowboy?" she asked again quietly.

"I uh... I need to talk to her..." he said quietly. "But first where's Rach? Is Quinn alright? I heard about Russell."

Joey scowled. "What's going on? They're in the living room."

She watched with a frown as her husband strode quickly into the living room. His steps were heavy and full of purpose. The three girls looked up at him confusedly when he came to an abrupt stop.

"Are you alright?" Santana asked with a glower.

Bear teetered his weight from foot to foot and looked at the girls. He opened his mouth to ask something but stepped forward and picked Rachel up gently, lifted her into the air. She let out a small sequel but hugged him back. Her feet dangled above the ground. She rested her head and hand on his shoulder as he hugged her.

Joey frowned from the other room as her tough husband held Rachel tightly. There were tears in his eyes, but they remain unshed. What was going on?

He set Rachel down gently on the couch. He started to stand up but Rachel cupped his face. "What's wrong?" Her young brow furrowed and her worn eyes searched his. He put his hands over her small ones and smiled.

He shook his head. "Nothin'," he lied. He turned to Quinn. He gave her a knowing smile. They both knew what had happened at court, but he wasn't sure what to say. "Want a hug too?"

She smirked but shook her head. "I'm good," she said with a slight laugh.

Bear stood and looked at Santana. "Don't even think about it," Santana said continuing to channel surf.

He slowly made his way back to the kitchen as he loosened his tie and headed into the room. "What is going on?" Joey asked her husband with her hand on her hips.

He shook his head. "We had a lead on Will," he said quietly. "But I'll wait to tell Shel."

"No, you'll tell me first," Joey said with a forceful tone.

Bear shook his head. "No, I should really wait for -"

"No," Joey pushed again. "This has been a long ass day for us, and clearly it has been for you and it's more than just a lead. So I will do the filtering of this information for my little sister so tell me."

He watched with concern as Shelby continued to quietly yet angrily speak into the phone as she paced in the hallway. He took Joey's hand and opened the pantry door and motioned in.

"No, you cannot distract me with sex, Lawrence!" she hissed.

He frowned. "We are not … " He shook his head. "We're going to talk privately. The girls are in the next room and I don't want them to hear."

Joey eyed him suspiciously, but walked into the pantry. They closed the door and Joey folded her arms. "Spit it out."

He shook his head and rubbed the back of his neck. "They questioned Suzy Pepper today and discovered that she has stolen her father's credit card for that bastard. She's in custody right now."

"Where the hell are her parents?"

Bear shook his head and shrugged. "Not paying attention." He looked at the cereals on the shelf. "Poor girl. She doesn't know what she's doing. She needed someone to pay attention to her and sadly, the only one who did was him."

Joey tightened her arms. "Okay...Fine... So did you catch him?"

Bear shook his head. "No," he muttered.

"What happened then? It's almost eight o'clock. You rarely work this late."

He frowned. "I had to be there," he said staring at the bin of flour remembering how much of a mess they would make when the kids were younger and they would make cookies . He wanted so desperately to make cookies.

"Bear?" she asked bringing him out of his daze.

"I am helping with the investigation," he said lowly. "There were some purchases made …." he looked at his wife with hesitation.

She frowned. "What did he buy?" He continued to frown in silence "What did he buy?" she hissed more loudly.

"Suzy order a tub for him that was delivered today." Joey frowned in confusion but he continued. "He bought a shovel and rope from Home Depot." He watched as Joey began to connect the dots and her face fell. "His last purchase was through another website, but it was delivered to Suzy's house..." He paused.

"What was it?..." she whispered.

"It was an electric saw," he said finally.

She shook her head and wiped her tears furiously. "We can't tell, Shelby."

"What?" He asked with a frown.

"She's already having bad dreams over this. We can't explain to her that not only was he not caught but he's buying items to …. kill her..." She pinched the bridge of her nose. "You just know what he bought but you haven't been able to find him or the items."

"We intercepted the saw and the tub but …." he shook his head. "If he gets her, he's going to kill her..."

Joey looked at him ready to protest and say otherwise; however, she couldn't find it in her.

"What are you doing?" Shelby asked suddenly from the other side of the door. "We keep our food in there, you know?"

Joey sighed and glared at him and then walked out.

"What's up?" Joey asked ignoring Shelby's annoyed look.

Shelby shrugged. "That damn ADA is insisting that he stops by tonight. The Captain, too. I just... I don't understand why it can't wait until morning." She looked at Bear. "Do you?"

Bear looked at her with a frown as if he knew.

"Mom?" Santana called from the other room.

Shelby sighed and walked past her brother-in-law.

"This stupid dog won't leave us alone," Santana said holding Charlie out to her mother.

"Under normal circumstances you would be walking this dog," she said sharply. Rachel looked at her with a frown. Shelby realized her mistake. "But I will do it. It's late. You girls should stay inside."

"Can I come?" Rachel asked, hoping that it wasn't her.

Shelby noticed Bear step forward into the room. "No," she answered eyeing her brother in law. She walked back into the kitchen and pulled the man with her. "You're coming with me to walk this dumb dog."

Bear sighed and started to follow his sister in law out. He looked back briefly at his wife as she glared at him, warning him to keep his mouth shut. He sighed and pulled the door closed behind him.

"What the hell is going on?" Shelby hissed as they stepped into the backyard. She pushed a plastic bag in her hand. "I can't stand these looks, Bear. I am stressed enough. Quinn is exhausted. Santana and Noah want so badly to be needed. And Rach..." Bear looked at the woman she stared down at the ground. "I … I can't take you looking at me like that...like I can't handle this... so tell me."

He sighed and picked up the dog's mess. He took a deep breath, trying to form his words, knowing that she needed to hear it from him first.

"I have something to tell you, Shel," he started slowly as he stood.

"What the hell?" he heard her mutter. He looked up. There were three squad cars that could be seen from the back, Shelby was looking around to the front of the house as another one pulled in. "Why are there so many cops here?" She looked slowly at him. "What happened?"

"Mrs. Corcoran," Captain Marshall called as he was escorted up the driveway. "We need to talk."

It took approximately ten long seconds after the Captain's explanation to gather all of her thoughts. It took her ten seconds to put it together. Today, she put one monster away. Today, she had held one daughter as she sobbed at the life that she was leaving behind and attempt to survive and accept that. She couldn't even get a solace from knowing that Russell Fabray was away. She didn't get the opportunity to find the light at that tunnel before this bomb was dropped on her and her family.

"So," she said carefully. "You're telling me that not only is he out there but he's planning on catching her. He is planning on... He has plans."

The men nodded.

She nodded and rolled her lips together slowly. "I can't... I don't... I don't know how to make them feel safe or to make it better. I can't..." She looked at them. "He'll hurt them. He hurt Rachel as well as Quinn..." She hardened her glare. "You need to find him," she said slowly. "You need to put that fucking bastard away." She steeled her gaze at Bear and the Captain. "She doesn't sleep. None of them do..." She shook her head. "She shakes when I hold her... When I have to change her." She shook her head. "I have to change her... because she hurts so bad she can't do it herself. Find him."

"We will do our best- " he began.

"NO! You will find him!"

Bear wrapped his arms around Shelby. "Alright," he muttered. "Alright."

…..

Santana finished brushing her teeth and spit out the toothpaste. She wiped her mouth with the towel and walked into Quinn's room. The girl was leaning against the doorframe staring at the new bed.

"Well, that's... interesting," Santana said looking at the loft bed.

Quinn shrugged. "She said that it would help."

Santana scoffed. "Do you think that?" She shrugged. "Yeah... that Mom of our knows how to think outside of the box." She noticed the flicker in her face. "Okay."

"Maybe," the blonde answered the question thoughtfully. "I slept really well in Florida."

"It was also in Florida," Santana countered. She looked back at the bed with a frown. "Are you okay?" she asked more quietly.

Quinn looked at her quickly and then paused. "What do you think?"

"I think you don't know if you should be relieved or thankful or whatever," Santana said quietly.

The blonde frowned. "I -" She searched for her words. "I know... I know he can't get to me anymore... but he still does," she muttered. "In his own way."

Santana looked at her with sure eyes. "He won't, Quinn. You have me now." She looked away. "And this fancy new bed apparently."

Quinn gave a tiny chuckle. "Apparently."

….

Shelby toweled Rachel's wet hair as she sat on her bed.

"Do you want me to braid it?"

Rachel shook her head and reached for her princess pajamas.

"No, bug, those are too old," Shelby said reaching for another pants and shirt set and offering them to her daughter. Shelby was shaking slightly. Her kid was never going to wear those damn princess shoes ever again. "Or do you want a nightgown."

"I want those," she said with a frown.

"No, sweetheart," Shelby said pushing the image out of her head of Rachel in the pajamas. "Don't pout, bug. It's not attractive." she sighed. "Now, let's get the cream on and then get you to bed."

Rachel shook her head. "I don't... I don't want to."

"Rachel, we are not fighting this," Shelby said. "Additionally, you have an appointment tomorrow to get checked out."

The girl began to tear up. "I don't want to do that."

"I know you don't," Shelby said. "We need to."

Rachel frowned and looked at her hands. "Mumma, I don't want to do that. I'm fine... I promise."

Shelby cupped Rachel's face. "You need to listen to your body, Rachel. I've been helping you. You're raw and I know you're hurting."

Shelby knew. She had raised her children. She had been there changing diapers. Diaper rashes and all of that. Even after she got the kids back, this wasn't as bad as it had been back then, but it was bad enough.

Rachel looked down again with Shelby's hands still on her face. "Why... Why did he choose me?" she whispered. "Couldn't it have been anyone else?"

Shelby frowned. "I don't know, bug. No one deserves that."

"He was nice to me," Rachel whispered. "He paid attention to me … and then he... He changed." She looked up at her mother. "I was stupid, right?"

"No," Shelby said pulling her into her arms. "Not at all." She thought for a moment. "Sweetheart, do you think we don't listen to you? Don't give you freedom?"

Rachel shrugged. "I used to... but... but now... I …. It's not that."

"Well, what is it?"

"I think," she whispered. "I want to be on my own more than I want freedom."

"What's the difference?" Shelby asked with an amused grin.

Rachel thought for a moment as she tightened her towel. "The difference is," she muttered. "I don't want to be this girl forever... and it feels like I've been her... but pretending not to be."

"What do you mean?"

She looked up at her mother with big eyes. "I don't want to spend my life pretending I'm okay."

"You don't have to, Rachel," Shelby frowned. "Have you been?"

Rachel shrugged. "Maybe," she looked up at her mother. "Like I was playing a part."

Shelby nodded. "Promise me that you'll try your best to be you, okay or not."

Rachel looked up at her mother. There was a pain in her mother's eyes that was becoming increasingly stronger over the past few days. She refused to add to it.

"I promise," she muttered.

"I love you," Shelby whispered.

"I love you, too," she smiled.

"Please lay down and I'll put on this cream."

Rachel whimpered and leaned back.

Shelby sighed and began to put the cream on. Her heart ached every time she saw how scratched, bruised and raw her young daughter still was. There were still handprints on the inside of her thighs as well as scratches and bruises. She paused. He was going to kill her. He was going to … Her thoughts trailed off.

"Mumma?" she asked as Shelby put the cream on slowly. "I'm sorry that this makes you so sad."

Shelby looked at her softly. "Don't be, Rachel," she smiled. "You just need to take care of yourself, okay?"

Rachel nodded and tried unsuccessfully to hold back her tears as the applicator went in. After a few long minutes, Shelby finished and helped Rachel get dressed. Rachel's tears were running down her cheeks without apology but she wasn't sobbing.

"Where would you like to sleep tonight?" Shelby asked as she rocked Rachel gently.

Rachel shrugged. "Sanny," she muttered. Her eyes bulged. "Does she not want me to?"

"No," Shelby assured. "Come on. Let's get you to bed."

Rachel walked across the hall and into Santana's room. She followed the voices through bathroom and into Quinn's room.

"Woah," she said with big eyes.

"What do you think?" Noah asked from the door from the hallway.

"Thanks," Quinn said with a smile.

Noah shrugged. "It's fine."

"Is this because she sleeps in the corner?" Rachel asked candidly.

"Yup," Noah grinned.

"Shut it," Santana said with a frown.

"What if she falls out?" Rachel asked.

"She won't, bug," Santana assured. "She slept on the top bunk before."

Santana nodded and led Rachel out into her room. They curled into Santana's bed. Santana closed her eyes with a heavy sigh and her arm protectively around her.

"Santana?" Rachel asked pulling the older girl from the verge of sleep. "Quinn's okay, right?" she paused. "I mean...Her dad got put away."

"He's not her dad, Rach," she spat.

"Oh," she whispered.

"I'm sorry," she said quietly.

Silence fell on them again.

"Santana?"

"What?"

"Is he going to come to the house?"

"What?" Santana asked now wide awake.

"He's out...is he …. will he..." Santana pulled Rachel closer as she trembled in her sleep.

"I promise you that I will not let him hurt you." Her voice was pointed and forceful. "You don't have to worry about that."

Rachel turned and looked at him with a frown. "I have to..."

"Rachel," Santana said, cupping her younger sister's face gently. "I promise you. He will not hurt you again. Not ever."

Rachel hitched her breath. "I have to have another exam tomorrow... Mom was crying today when she was helping me." She let out a tiny sob. "What if … What if... He comes back?"

"He won't. I promise, okay?"

Rachel curled into her sister. "You can't promise that."

"And why not?" she asked amused.

"Because you can't control the world," she whispered.

Santana kissed her softly. "I control our world," she muttered. "You're going to be okay. I promise you."

Rachel yawned and let her eyes close, knowing that there was little control left.

…...

Shelby poured the coffee into her cup. The sun was barely in the sky, but she couldn't sleep. There was something coming. She was too much on the edge of her seat. She spent most of the night moving from the kids' rooms checking if they were okay. Coffee. All she needed was coffee.

Joey rolled into the house exhausted. "I want coffee." She shook her head. "Also, I'm going to talk to all those policemen out there. They should have coffee."

"You're walking into my house and you didn't bring coffee?"

"If you don't remember," Joey said snidely. "You pawned off our mother on me. So no... there was no coffee but-"

"We brought breakfast!" Helen said coming through the door with bagels and muffins.

Michael followed behind her and held up a bag of groceries. "And juice and yogurt."

Joey frowned at Shelby. "But no coffee." She leaned forward and took Shelby's coffee mug. "Plus, my husband decided to sleep with your couch instead of me... So,..." she sipped the coffee with a content sigh. "You owe me this coffee."

Shelby glared but took the coffee. "Your husband is still snoring on the couch. Go wake him up." Joey dragged her body into the living room. "This is a rated G household, Joanne!" Shelby called after her.

Joey raised her hand dismissing her.

"So," Helen asked with a smile. "How did the bed work out?"

Shelby shook her head and smiled. "Yes, mother, you were right. Q-Bear slept through the night." The mother smiled. "I checked on her about every two hours. I even poked her to make sure she wasn't faking it."

Helen laughed and set a plate of food in front of her. "I'm always right, Shelby. It's an obnoxious fact, but it's true. It's like a goldfish can survive more than 24 hrs in a tank of human blood or bilirubin is what makes your feces brown. Or the fact that elephants are the only mammal with knees that can not jump OR King Louis XIV was nicknamed the "The Sun God." Facts. Silly facts. And-"

"Thank you, mother," Shelby said dryly. "Your knowledge is necessary and important."

Charlie began to bark with excitement. "Shut up, Charlie," Joey called from the other room.

Rachel entered the kitchen with a yawn. She passed her mother as Shelby leaned down, kissing her softly on the top of the head. Rachel continued to walk. She knelt down on the floor and took the dog in her arms. She looked up at her mother with a small smile. "Can we walk Charlie, Mumma?"

Shelby gave her daughter a smile. "Maybe later, Rach," she said softly. "You need to go to your appointment this morning."

Rachel deflated and continued to pet the dog. "Oh... Yeah..."

"Are the others awake?" Shelby asked trying to distract her.

The eleven year old shook her head. "No," she said. "Santana mumbled words that weren't words and then she rolled over. So maybe she's half awake." She looked at her mother with a frown. "Maybe."

Shelby laughed. "You feeling okay?" Rachel nodded.

There was a hard knock on the door. Shelby felt that feeling in her stomach. She put on a smile. "Why don't you go upstairs and shower, okay?"

Rachel smiled. "By myself?"

"You don't think you can?" Shelby asked with a smile, forcing it to stay in place.

The knock was hit harder this time. Shelby felt her heartbeat race. She wondered if Rachel could hear it. She looked at her, begging her face to stay smiling. Come on, Rachel she pleaded silently.

"Okay," Rachel nodded, looking at the door. "Are we going to see who's at the door first?"

Shelby forced a smile even more. "Not if you want hot water. Your brother and sisters are going to wake up soon and will want hot water." She arched a brow. "Your choice."

Rachel smiled and started slowly up the stairs with the dog in her arms. "Rachel Barbra," Helen called out. "You are not going to bathe with a dog."

There was a knock again. Rachel frowned and handed her mother the dog. "Mumma, you should answer the door before they break the door down."

Shelby tried not to crumble at the irony, knowing the possibility of what the news would be based on the current circumstances.

"Thanks, bug," she smiled. She watched at Rachel disappeared up the stairs. She looked at her mother. "Will you-"

"I'll go make sure that she gets things done and round up the troops," Helen finished. "You figure out who's banging down the door."

Shelby took a deep breath and opened the door. The Captain stood there with Jackie from CPS. Oh god, were they taking her children?

"Um..." Shelby began. "Can I help you?"

"Did you watch the news this morning?" the Captain asked.

Shelby frowned. "No." If she were sane, she would have invited them in, but she forgot and continued to ask, "What's going on?"

Jackie took a deep breath. "Judy Fabray died early this morning."

This was not what she was expecting. She turned back and looked into the house and saw that Joey and Bear were standing in the doorway behind her.

She finally invited them into the house and into the study. Shelby closed the door behind her.

"Explain to me what … what happened..." she said first. Joey was leaning against the bookshelf with her arms folded. Bear was sitting on the sofa with a frown.

The Captain took a breath. "She got behind the wheel, I suspect to get more alcohol and … she crashed. They brought her to the hospital but her injuries were too severe."

Shelby nodded. "So she was intoxicated."

The captain nodded. "Yes, it probably just all got to her."

"It's been getting to her for awhile," Joey said quietly but with a sharp tone from behind them.

Jackie nodded. "There was probably vicodin and oxycotin in her system."

Shelby nodded numbly. "I...She's gone?" She shook her head. She looked over at the Captain. He nodded confirming it. "I'm glad she felt something... I mean -"

"Shut up, Shelby," Joey snapped. "None of us could have known what she was thinking." She shook her head and started out of the room. "None of us."

Shelby watched her older sister go with a sigh. "I don't know how to tell Quinn this... I don't know what this will do to her." She took a breath. "Who's handling the arrangements? Is there going to be a funeral?"

"Russell is being told today as well but he cannot plan the services so...Her will is being reviewed and there will be an autopsy. I suspect the service will the be the day after tomorrow." The Captain looked at Jackie. "There are some things that Judy's lawyer will contact you about."

"Actually," Jackie interrupted. "There won't be a service. I know that." The other adults looked at her in surprise. "Judy didn't want one. There won't be a service. There may be a burial, but not a formal service. She was clear on that."

Shelby straightened. "Do I need to be worried? I mean Quinn is in custody of the state. She won't be taken away right?"

"No, she won't," Jackie said. "The lawyer will contact you because apparently there were some recent changes in the will."

"That hurt Quinn or favored her?"

Captain sighed. "We can't say, but-"

"I need you to tell me that my child won't be taken away."

"She won't be given to anyone in the Fabray family unless they go through the dependency process. It's complicated but based on what we know, we're not just going to hand Quinn over to them without a fight and especially without a judge's consent as well as Quinn's." Jackie sighed. "You and I both know that if she was in a group home or bouncing around we would push her to get out of the system and just go to independent living but … we can talk about what you and Quinn want in the near future. However, there's no question that this will be her home as long as you'll have her."

"I'll never give her up," Shelby said quietly. "I'll tell her this morning after breakfast." She sighed. "So she'll attend the burial or whatever service that will be held if she wishes." She looked at the captain. "You'll make sure that she's safe. I expect the best security. My other children will probably wish to attend."

Jackie nodded. "Russell may want to attend. However, they might not let him. So Frannie and I believe a great aunt may attend. We can consider and arrange a time that Quinn can say goodbye separately from the family members. Based on the history."

"Okay... Well, let me know. I'll let you know when I figure out Quinn's reaction. I need to see where she is first. She's my number one priority in dealing with Judy. Nothing else."

Shelby stood. She wasn't sure what she felt, but she knew it was partly relief.

….

Helen walked through the hallway carrying some dirty clothes. "I'm serious, Santana," she called. "Get that perfectly round ass out of that bed! I mean it!" She peeked into Noah's room. "You, sir, must clean up this room before you shower. And by clean, young man, I mean I want to see this floor. Also, get an air freshener from downstairs. When I said get up, Noah, I meant that you had to stand up, not just sit up." She stopped at Quinn's room. "Quinn, I mean it. I'm grateful you've slept, but you are not a zombie. Get up!" Finally, the grandmother stopped at Rachel's door and walked in. "Bug, you are not wearing that." Rachel looked down at her outfit. "You are not wearing tights and a skirt. We are doing tutoring there is no need to dress up."

"Nana, I'm not," she frowned with a stomp. "This is what I wear."

"No," Helen said handing Rachel sweatpants.

Rachel's eye bulged. "I will not look like a bum!"

"You are not a bum, Rachel Barbra Corcoran. And you will not refer to homeless individuals as bums either. You are healing and you have an appointment. Put on the sweats."

Rachel pouted and shook her head. "No."

"Fine. Jeans or sweats, Rachel. That's all the wiggle room you're getting." Helen tilted her head. "Do you need me to change you?"

Rachel's face fell. "No, Nana."

"That's what I thought. You have ten minutes to finish up and get downstairs."

Helen closed the door and walked into the hallway. Joey was leaning against the bathroom door with a heavy sigh.

"What's wrong?" Helen asked setting the pile of dirty clothes on the table. "I mean it, Santana! Ass out of bed now!"

"Nana! Don't swear!" Rachel yelled from her room.

"Stop yelling!" Noah groaned from behind his door.

"Shut up all of you!" Quinn screamed.

Helen turned back to her daughter. "So grateful that I only had two. You were crazy and Shelby was... nuts but... still four? Really?" She turned back to the door and opened Santana's door. "Santana Louise Corcoran, if you do not get your butt out of bed you are scrubbing toilets with a Q-Tip."

"I'm up, Nana!" Santana screamed.

Helen turned back to Joey. "What's wrong?"

Joey leaned forward quietly. "Judy's dead."

Helen frowned. "What?"

Joey shook her head as her eyes began to water. She walked hurriedly toward the attic stairs in Shelby's bedroom closet. She breathed deeply and sat heavily on the stairs. Her breath trembled.

"I … I … I saw her at the grocery store," she nodded. "I said terrible things to her." She looked at her mother. "and I'm not sorry, and I know …. I know that they got to her... I …. I've hated her for so long and what she did to that little girl. And I... I'm not sorry, Mom." she said with a sob. She muffled it with her hand. "It's not just about right or wrong... It's just... She used to be Judy and one day she wasn't."

Helen wrapped her arms around her gently. She rubbed her back. "Do you remember the last fight you had as friends?"

Joey scoffed. "Yeah. She just stopped talking to me...She just... stopped..."

Helen scoffed. "Do you remember what you two did?"

Joey frowned and searched her memory. She gave deep breath and a scoff that was inappropriate for the time. "We got caught smoking pot."

Helen nodded. "You did." She nodded. "Judy was a sad a girl. She always was and you gave her a little bit of joy. But that day... I tried to calm her parents but her father... was so angry..."

Joey frowned remembering. "That was before the summer." She looked at the ground. "He sent her away. When she came back, she was dating Russell."

"You kept bugging her until she threw a slushie at you at lunch in front of the school."

Joey nodded at the memory. "Yeah that sucked."

Helen nodded. "It's not about saving people, Jo," she smiled. "You blamed yourself for months. Remember? And …. Life is funny and then sometimes it's not." She looked at Joey. "It's really not." She pulled Joey into a hug. "I'm sorry that you and Judy lost each other."

Joey leaned against her mother. "Me too." She sniffled. "Me too."

…..

Shelby took a deep breath. She shook her head and walked into the kitchen. Rachel was sitting in Noah's lap as they all ate food.

"Rachel," Shelby called. "Sit next to him, not on him please."

The tiny brunette moved off of her brother's lap and next to Santana. The older brunette looked at Quinn who was rolling her eyes and just drowning her cereal in milk but not eating any of it.

"Quinn," Shelby said casually. "After you finish up here meet me in the study please."

"You're in trouble," Noah smirked.

"Shut your face," Quinn sneered, throwing a piece of soggy cereal at the boy.

"Quinn, no throwing food at the table," Shelby said from the island.

"What's wrong?" Rachel asked from next to Santana.

Santana followed her gaze. "Yeah," she said with a frown. "You look worse... than uh... you just …."

"Digging yourself a hole," Quinn muttered.

"Clearly," Noah chuckled. "What are we doing today? When does the blond lady come?"

"Names, Noah. People have names for a reason," Helen said from the island.

"I watched a documentary on the Holocaust and there were several nameless individuals," Rachel said with a nonchalant shrug. The family looked at her with a frown. "I watched it awhile ago... Not recently. On the History Channel."

Bear chuckled "Okay, bug."

"We'll clean up here," Santana said watching her mother as she noticed Joey enter the room wiping her tears.

Quinn shrugged and followed Shelby into the study. "What's going on?"

Shelby licked her lips and sat down on the couch. "Come sit with me."

The blonde frowned at her. "Did he change his mind or something? Is he out... What's going on?"

"Come sit down, Quinn," she pushed.

The folded her arms and shook her head. "No..." She frowned. "What's going on?"

Shelby nodded. She just needed to say it. "Quinn, it's about your mother."

The blonde's eyes darted around the room. "What did she do?"

Shelby took a deep breath. "She um..." She blinked. "Quinn, please sit down."

"No," she said sharply.

Shelby nodded. She wasn't taken aback but simply tired. Quinn saw this and softened, but kept her frown.

"What's going on? Explain it to me," she said forcefully. "You've never... " She shook her head and paused. "You've always been honest with me."

Shelby nodded. "I have."

Quinn nodded. "So say it."

The mother nodded. "Okay," she said softly. She stood and approached her. She rubbed Quinn's tightly folded arms. "Quinn, your mother died this morning." The girl didn't react other than her eyes getting minisculely bigger. "There was a car accident. She was intoxicated and … she had most likely had some pills in her system..."

Quinn's aged eyes looked at her with frown.

"Quinn?"

The blond nodded. The doorbell made her turn and look at the door.

"Okay," Quinn said with dry eyes. "Okay." She looked at the door again. "Probably Holly. I don't want to fall behind. May I leave?"

Shelby took a deep breath. She didn't know what she was expecting from Quinn, but she knew that she wasn't sure if she would have expected this. However, her children always surprised her. She needed to let Quinn do this in her own time.

"Absolutely," she nodded.

The girl started to walk away.

"Sweetheart," Shelby called. Quinn stopped and turned, her face still unreadable. "The funeral is the probably the day after tomorrow. I would be happy to go with you if you'd like."

Quinn shrugged. "I should go," she nodded. "Okay."

Shelby nodded. "There's no right way or wrong way to grieve about this, Quinn."

The blonde shrugged. "There could be."

"There isn't." The mother smiled.

"May I go do my work?"

Shelby nodded. She paused. "Quinn?" The girl turned and looked at her once again. "Would you like to tell the others?"

Quinn shook her head. "No," she said briefly. "You can."

The mother nodded. "Absolutely. They'll want to be there for you...They uh..."

"I know that they've done this before, bury a parent... but... you and I both know it's not the same..." Quinn looked back at the door. "May I be excused? I really want to see San and Noah's presentations."

Shelby nodded. "Sure." Quinn opened the door. "Quinn," she called out again. The girl paused. "I love you."

The blonde smiled the tiniest smile. "I know. Thank you."

Quinn frowned and walked into the dinning room where everyone was set up waiting for Noah and Santana to change. Holly looked through the folders of work. Brittany was sitting next to Rachel braiding her hair. The blonde's eyes filled with concern when she spotted Quinn. Quinn shook her head.

"Goodness, shortstuff, you really do go above and beyond, don't you?" Holly smiled looking at Rachel's work.

"She does," Quinn said, sitting on Rachel's other side avoiding Brittany's eyes.

"Holly, may I speak with you?"

The blonde teacher nodded and followed Shelby into the study.

"What happened?" Rachel asked looking up at Quinn.

Quinn looked over at Brittany with a set jaw telling her to be silent.

"Nothing for you to worry about," she said keeping her gaze set with Brittany.

"It's not nothing," Brittany said gently looking at Quinn.

"What's nothing?" Rachel asked looking up at the girls.

"Something was on the news this morning," Brittany started.

Rachel looked up at Quinn and then back at Brittany. "About her dad going to jail?" She looked at the older girls. "My sister doesn't want to talk about that," Rachel said shortly to Brittany. "It's simply something you don't talk about casually," she looked at her hands and then back towards the direction Santana had disappeared to, "Santana doesn't talk about Papa, does she?"

Brittany broke her gaze from Quinn and frowned down at Rachel.

Rachel realized that Brittany was looking at her in confusion. "Oh, I guess she doesn't..." she muttered. She looked up at Quinn. "I proved my point apparently." She shook her head. "I didn't mean to snap, Brittany, but sometimes we just don't like talking."

Brittany nodded and looked up the stairs as Santana came downstairs in her outfit with a scowl. Brittany sighed. "I know that. I'm sorry, Quinn. I understand."

"Where is that blonde banshee," Santana spat. "I am uncomfortable." She looked over at Quinn. "What happened?" she asked, sitting on the arm of the sofa.

"Nothing," Quinn said looking up at Santana and then back over at the other girls. "Nothing at all."

Santana frowned and looked over at Brittany, who simply shook her head.

"Leave her alone," Rachel interrupted. "If she says it's nothing, it's nothing." She looked at Quinn. "Right?"

Quinn smiled at Rachel. "Right."

…..

Shelby nodded towards the door. "So I haven't told the other kids yet, but Quinn wants to get back to the routine."

"And you agree with this?" Holly asked.

"Of course not," she said shortly.

"Well, I agree with Quinn," Holly said. Shelby looked at her with surprise. "Don't be so surprised. We're both in this field. Quinn doesn't know what to think."

"And we need to keep things as normal as possible," Shelby finished. "But expect the unexpected. Absolutely." She took a breath. "Do you have any questions about the …..about Will Schuester's -"

Shelby couldn't find a word but Holly cut her off.

"Escape? Yes, I understand, but we don't want to suffocate Rachel too much and your family tends to do that naturally."

Shelby frowned but nodded. "I understand it might seem that way but you don't know the details of our history."

"That's true. I don't," Holly said sharply. "But I can assure you that you'll have your hands full if you don't give her space."

"I know that," Shelby said. "She has an appointment this afternoon. I need to take her out early. However, she's not getting space until that bastard is caught. Too much is at stake."

Holly frowned. "What do you mean?"

Shelby frowned. "Do I need to spell it out for you?"

Holly met her gaze. "Other than that."

"Isn't that enough?" she asked.

Holly nodded. "You're right. Is there anything else?"

"No," Shelby said quietly.

"They will get through this," Holly paused at the door. "And so will you."

Shelby nodded. "I appreciate all this work, Holly. You need to let me know if you put in more hours than we previously discussed and I'll make sure to comp your time. My children like you and you don't put up with their crap-"

"Shelby, don't thank me," Holly said with a frown. "I went to school, just as you did to deal with the hard stuff. You and I know that this is not the hard stuff, not if we don't let it be."

Shelby nodded and Holly exited the room.

Holly entered the living room. "Alright my little academic comrades," she smiled. "Let's hit the books like donkey kong!"

Rachel frowned. "Who's that?"

"Are we related?" Noah asked turning towards his youngest sister.

Brittany smiled at Rachel. "It's a video game."

"Oh," she frowned. She turned and looked at her brother. "I love your outfit."

"Shut it, mighty mouse." He frowned. "I'm French. I'm wearing a hat. French people wear hats."

Quinn frowned. "You're wearing a winter hat."

"French people wear hats." He repeated.

Holly smiled. "If I don't like your presentation, petit garçon, you'll be doing two tomorrow. That means two costumes and two written reports. And from your absence of costume, you'll be doing two."

Noah looked at his sisters and Brittany. "Can she call me that? GARSEN?"

"It's means little boy, idiot," Quinn grumbled.

"Quinn, no name calling," Michael called from the other room.

Holly smiled. "Rachel here has to go to a super important conference-"

"It's an appointment," she clarified.

"Same difference." She looked at Santana. "So my little rebel, my spit fire, I'm glad you put some thought into your outfit."

Brittany grinned and arched her brow at the brunette. Santana blushed. It was a long skirt and an old shirt of her grandfather's.

"We do not flirt in class," Holly announced. "It is a place of learning unless you plan on giving a presentation on-"

Santana looked at Holly in frustration. "Okay..." she muttered looking at Rachel. "You don't know us," she sneered.

"You're right. I don't, but I'm trying."

Santana huffed in response but looked over at Brittany as she combed her hand through Rachel's hair.

"Rachel, you know what flirting is, right?" Holly asked.

The eleven year old nodded. "Yes, ma'am. We have cable."

The older four looked at her with a frown. "Plus one night we went to find my brother because he missed curfew and he was having sex with his ditzy girlfriend in the back of her shiny Lexus." Santana failed to muffle her snort. Brittany and Quinn didn't even try. "My sisters have a rude name for her because she had digestion problems." Rachel nodded. "I know all about flirting. That's what my sister and Brittany are doing now, but they've done that since I was little so I don't mind. They don't make out in the closet like Noah did with his girlfriend. No pun intended." She looked sheepishly up at her siblings.

"Rachel, that's enough!" Shelby yelled from the kitchen.

The family just looked at Rachel. "It's the jeans. Nana made me wear jeans. I don't feel like I'm in the proper attire to learn..."

"Okay, I can see we need to really get started," Holly said. "Right now everyone take out the math homework that you have been assigned and pass it in." The children huffed and began to collect their work. Holly turned to Rachel who was alternating between pulling at her jeans and trying to smooth them out. "Rachel, why don't you give me all the work that you have and then we will get started with the presentations."

Holly met Shelby's eyes from the other room as Santana stood up and took her place to begin her presentation. The blond gave a reassuring nod before sitting on the couch.

"Alright, spit fire," she said with a smile. "Impress me."

…..

Shelby looked over at Rachel. The little girl was looking quietly out of the window. The mother looked at the driver in the driver's seat. Gus was driving them in an unmarked car to the doctors. The Captain had insisted. Shelby gave Gus a tiny smile. He gave an even tinier smile back. She sighed heavily and turned to look at her daughter. She jumped a little because Rachel was staring back at her pointedly. Her chocolate, honey brown eyes were wide and accusing. She looked over at Gus then sharply back at her mother.

"What are you doing? Are you dating him?" She looked at the man. "Do you like my mother?"

"Rachel," Shelby hissed. "No, okay. No."

The eleven year old frowned. "My mom doesn't date, Officer Gus," she said pointedly. "My sister, Santana will kill you. Quinn and Noah too... but Santana for sure. If you want to keep your clothes clean and your record impeccable which I expect it to be, I-"

"Rachel," Shelby said blushing. "Please, just."

"If you are too uncomfortable, Mom, we can just drive home. I'm feeling fine. Why couldn't Quinn come? Did she need a check up?" Rachel asked hurriedly.

Shelby sighed. "Rachel, this is not an argument or a debate. It's happening. We're in transit so I-"

"Mom, why is Officer Gus driving us?" She frowned. "And there were extra police cars out front …." She looked at Shelby in the eyes. "Why?"

Shelby gulped and looked quickly at Gus and then back at Rachel. "Your uncle wants it, bug. He's worried. He wants what is best for you."

It wasn't exactly a lie, Shelby told herself.

Rachel frowned and looked out the window. "He's always like that. I need to live my life without a detail of security."

Shelby sighed. "Hopefully, you'll never need a detail."

A few moments later Shelby tied the back of Rachel's gown. They had taken her vitals. Shelby's already full mind was now exhausted. Rachel had lost weight. When Will took her from the dance studio, Rachel was ten pounds under for a while. However, now, she was almost twenty pounds under her normal weight and height class. Shelby scanned her mind. Rachel ate breakfast right? She thought about Quinn at Quinn's last doctor's appointment, the five-eight girl was less than twenty pounds under weight. With her muscle mass and height she should at least gain another twenty five pounds to be considered healthy. She squeezed her eyes shut. Her girls aren't eating because they were stressed and scared. She made a mental note. She would make charts. Color coded charts. They would hate it; she herself would hate it. However, it needed to be done because she didn't need to add this to the list.

She looked at her baby girl and gave a weak smile.

"Sweetie, you need to get ready for the exam. You need to take off your underwear," she said gently.

Rachel shook her head. "No, Mumma I'm good..."

Shelby sighed. There was a gentle knock on the door and the doctor came in.

"Hi, Rachel," the doctor smiled.

Rachel leaned into her mother. Shelby frowned. "Rach, you know Dr. Fernandez. She's been your doctor since we moved here."

"Dr. Camy, I don't want to be here," Rachel said leaned into Shelby.

The mother sighed and looked at the family doctor. "Camila, she clearly doesn't want to be here. It's been a long few days for all of us."

The woman nodded. "Alright, well then let's get you in and out of here as soon as possible."

The female doctor looked through the chart. "Okay, Rach..."

Shelby stepped away from her daughter. "She hasn't been wanting to eat. Even more than normal..."

The doctor nodded. "I can see that." She turned to Rachel. "Tell me what's up, kiddo."

She shrugged. "I have things on my mind...And my mom thinks we need to be here to get checked when I just need you to tell her that I don't need the cream..."

Shelby opened her mouth to protest, but the doctor cut off. "Well, I can't say yes or no to anything, Rach until I check you out and you know it." She sighed. "So we can argue, like I know that you Corcorans do best, or you can lay down and let me examine you as you tell me about your new sister Quinn."

Rachel bit her lip and looked at her mother. She leaned back on the table.

"She's blond and she's a cheerleader and -"

"Rachel, you need to take off your underwear," Dr. Fernandez said quietly.

Rachel looked at her mother hesitantly but pulled them off slowly.

The doctor smiled kindly as the girl leaned back again and continued to talk "But even though she's a cheerleader, she's pretty great. She's tough but she's a softy at the same time. Kinda like San."

Rachel continued to quietly talk about Quinn.

"Alright, Rach," she said as she put the gel on the pediatric speculum. "Just try to relax, honey."

The doctor pushed the tiny girl's legs open and began to slowly insert the instrument. Rachel started to close her legs as she cried. Shelby hushed her and kissed away her tears, but soon it moved out of her control.

"Rachel, we can't help you or get out of here if you don't finish this," she said softly.

Rachel squeezed her eyes shut and closed her legs. "No," she cried. "Nonononononono."

Shelby looked at her with a frown. Rachel had struggled through every exam she ever had. However, Shelby had never seen her like this. Not ever. At the hospital, she had cried, but she never fought.

"Please, no," she sobbed. She covered her face with both her hands. "Please," she said muffled.

Shelby looked at Camila who just shook her head indicated that they couldn't do anything until Rachel cooperated. The mother bit her lip and leaned forward to Rachel.

"I need you to lay back and breathe, honey," Shelby said gently. "I need-"

Rachel sobbed and let out a yell that sounded like a scream. "No!" She used her feet to push her to the top of the paper covered exam table. "No! No! Please! Please! No!"

The mother nodded, realizing what was going on. Rachel wasn't here. She wasn't in this moment. "Rachel," she tried again with her gentle voice. "Rachel, open your eyes and look at me. We are going to get through this."

"Nononono!" Rachel sobbed, she continued to cover her face. Shelby could see that she was shaking. This was similar to tantrums that all three of the children would have when they were toddlers. Rachel rolled onto her side and pulled her legs up to her chest. Her hands still covered her face. Shelby looked at the doctor; the woman looked like she was in shock too. The woman had known the family since she moved here and seeing Rachel react like this was breaking her heart. The door opened and a nurse peaked in, silently asking if help was needed. The doctor nodded. Rachel's sob brought Shelby back. Shelby didn't need to know what was different to know what was wrong with her daughter. She knew simply that her daughter had been feeling out of control since this all started coming to light. She never did well with pelvic exams before but now it wasn't just a fight because she was worried or scared. It was because her instincts were kicking in and this was the only way she could take control.

"Rach," she whispered, leaning close to her. "It's Mommy. I need you to look at me, sweetie. I need you to focus." Rachel soften slightly. "Please look at me Rachel." She watched as Rachel shook her head. "You're not in trouble but you need to do this."

Rachel let out a sob. "I'm fine! I'm fine!"

"You're not, Rachel," she whispered. "I've been helping you, bug. I can see that it's not getting better. I'm concerned. Just like how was I was when Quinn was sick. We need to take care of ourselves."

"No," Rachel murmured. She let out a trembling breath.

"Rachel, I know you don't want to do this. I do," she whispered. "But Dr. Camy is here. I'm here. It's going to hurt a little, but we are right here."

Rachel shook her head. She kept her hands in front of her face. "Please," she sobbed. "I can't...I can't."

She sighed. Rachel never liked this, but had never flat out refused. She had heard that she was hysterical at the hospital but … Shelby was stuck.

"Rachel," she tried again. "I'm right here. I won't leave you. We will go as slow as you need."

She gave a thankful chuckle when she watched Rachel open her finger in front of her eyes and peek out at her mother.

"I'm sorry," she muttered. "I just wanna go home." her voice was tiny. "I just want things to go back to n-n-normal."

Shelby sighed and reached down to sit Rachel up and in her arms. "I know you don't want to be here and we want to go home. We are one step closer to going home if you let her do this exam." She kissed her softly. "Do you want me to sit behind you and hold you? Will that make it better or do you want to just do it like were were? It's your choice, bug. We can get through this."

Rachel covered her face again with her hands even though she was in her mother's arms. She didn't want to do that. Not any of this. Every time she did, she remembered. She couldn't breathe and she couldn't think.

"Rachel, those are your only two choices. Otherwise, we'll wait until you're ready, but you are going to have this exam today."

Rachel let out another sob. "No, Mumma," she looked up at her. "please."

Shelby rocked her slightly. "I know you don't want to do this. Can you tell me why it's important?"

Rachel leaned back and looked at her mother. "Because I need to be healthy."

"Exactly. Please do this." She looked at her. "I'll be with you the whole time."

She gave a tiny nod.

"Would you like something to help you relax?" the doctor offered.

Rachel shook her head and looked at her mother. "No..."

"You sure?" Shelby asked lightly.

"Yeah," she mumbled as she leaned back. She took her mother's hand.

"Alright," Shelby whispered as she leaned Rachel back against her. She helped her move to the end of the table. The nurse stood at the opposite side. She made contact with the doctor and the woman scooted forward and prepared the speculum.

"Alright, Rachel," she said with a smile. "You ready?"

"No," she whispered, "but okay."

"Just relax," the doctor said softly. "I'm going to go inside and then take a sample. It'll go faster if you relax. It helps for me to talk to relax me. Can you talk to me?"

Rachel shook her head and began to cover her face again. Shelby gave the doctor a nod. Rachel let out a muffled scream as the instrument was inserted. Shelby felt Rachel push into her and saw the girl try to close her legs. She reached over and pressed one knee open as gently as she could as she signaled for the nurse to do the same.

"No!" Rachel sobbed.

Shelby steeled her jaw. "Okay, Rach," she sighed. "Look at me. You need to calm down. Look at me, Rach. Look at Mommy." Rachel removed her hands and looked at her mother. "Just look at me, Rach."

Her face contorted her pain as she held her mother's gaze. The doctor said, "You're doing great. Okay, just really quick we're going to get a sample and we're done."

"You hear that?" Shelby said kissing her softly. Shelby attempted to talk to her about Holly. "I looked at your work, bug. You did an amazing job! I am very impressed. I know that you like to write in cursive but I didn't realize your handwriting was that great." Rachel's brow softened slightly. "And I loved how started an extra math page. I didn't realize you knew how to do that. Also, your book report was very thorough especially because I didn't realize that you were already finished that book."

"I know it doesn't count," Rachel murmured looked at her mother. "I was already reading a book. I thought I would show her how I typically do my book reports in case she prefers another... format..."

"And we're done," the doctor said gently, removing the instrument. Rachel turned her head into Shelby's arms. Shelby pulled Rachel up and let her cry into her chest.

"I know, sweetie," she hushed. "I know."

"Okay," she smiled. "I'll be right back Rachel." The doctor left the room. After about thirty minutes and a time on the nebulizer, she returned.

Shelby smiled and kissed Rachel softly. "let's get you dressed."

The doctor returned. She rolled over to Rachel on the rolling stool. Rachel's eyes were puffy and worn.

"Alright, jumping bean," she smiled. "Here's the deal. You are healing but at a snail's pace."

Rachel frowned. "Is that bad?"

"Yes and no," the doctor said. "It could be worse. You could not be healing at all." She sighed and looked at her gently. "This cream helps you heal and ease your pain. I know that it's …. uncomfortable at times. But you can't look at me and tell me that you don't hurt." Rachel looked down at her hands. "Alright, Rachel, I can refill your antibiotics, the pills, but... I don't recommend it. This cream is an antibiotic. It works best. Plus the pills can give you a yeast infection and I'm telling you now, kiddo. You don't want that."

Rachel looked up at her mother. "I … just want it to go away...I …. the stuff... it does make me feel better... but it..." she looked down at her hands. "When he.. when my teacher put the sticky stuff on me, he rubbed it down there too..." Shelby squeezed her eyes. Of course. how did she miss this? "I … I already think about him all the time and I have bad dreams and then... I feel it... with the cream so …. I … so I don't like the cream."

"I know you don't like it, Rachel, but you need it," Dr. Fernandez said quietly.

"Is there something else that she can use?" Shelby asked.

The doctor sighed and looked at the girl. "There is but it's not as strong. We can try it but I want you back in a week. And I want your new sister, Quinn to come in." She sighed. "There is one more thing, Rachel," she said, eyeing Shelby. "Remember when you first became vegan and you and Mom worked on balanced meals and we had the vegan food pyramid?" Rachel nodded. "We need to do that again. I want you and your mother to make a food log and bring it in at your next visit. You can get Quinn to do it with you too."

"She's not a vegan. I can try to -"

"No," Shelby cut her off. "We will bring in food logs."

"Why? Is there something up?"

"Rachel, you haven't been feeling run down or lethargic?"

Rachel shrugged. "I just... I'm tired but... It's okay." She looked at her mother. "I just... I don't feel like eating... I just want to lay with my mom or my sisters or my big brother and watch TV."

The doctor nodded and shared a look with Shelby.

"Do you sleep, Rach? How many times do you wake up?"

Rachel looked at her mother and then back at doctor with tearful eyes. "I take naps... I watch Sanny's clock I sleep off and on unless my mom gives me my medicine but still I wake up... I sleep a few hours with the pills but then I wake up. My sister doesn't wake up if I don't move a lot..." She looked at her hands. "I hear my mom walking in the hallway at night and my uncle and aunt come in and check on San and me a lot." She chewed her lip. "sometimes I crawl out of bed and go talk to Quinn. She's awake, too..." She looked up at her mother. "We didn't want to tell you we weren't sleeping because we felt bad...badly, I mean..."She looked at her mother. "It's not you, Mumma. It was Quinn's idea for me to sit with her. She would hear me in the bathroom. I used to hide in the bathtub... I'm reading all the works by Charles Dickens again. I'm on Great Expectations. Quinn and I would take turns reading it at night..."

Shelby took a shaky breath. "How?... I am a light sleeper... We all slept in the living room..."

"We went and talked in the pantry... Once I tried to convince her to reorganize the pantry. She said, no ..."

"But I held both of you," Shelby said with a frown.

"When you are really asleep, you do a snort snore. That's how we knew, it's not every night mom."

The doctor stood and sighed. "Rachel, you and Quinn need to sleep and you need eat. I'll stop by this afternoon and do a quick check up with Quinn and you two are going on something to help you sleep at night. Something that I'm sure will be strong enough."

"I don't like being drugged up" she frowned. "I already... feel that way..."

The woman sighed. "I know, but your bodies can't heal if you keep fighting with them this much."

Shelby frowned and looked at the girl as gave her a gentle kiss. "We'll do this."

Moments later, Shelby stood at the window as she scheduled Rachel's next appointment along with Quinn's. Rachel sat silently behind her looking through a magazine idly.

"Shelby," the mother looked and saw the doctor behind the the window. CAmila leaned forward. "here are the prescriptions for Rachel. I'll have Quinn's records transferred here from the other doctor. Can I come over around four?"

Shelby nodded. "Absolutely. We have a scale at home. I'm concerned. I didn't realize it was this bad." She leaned forward and whispered, "Her mother died this morning though. I'm not sure if it's the right time." She frowned. "But I need her to sleep. How long will it take?"

"Not very long if she's cooperative," she said quietly, eyeing the eleven year old.

Shelby nodded. "Okay. We'll see you at four," she smiled taking back her credit card from the receptionist. "Thank you," she smiled.

"Shelby," the doctor said again,eyeing rachel to make sure she wasn't listening. She was talking quietly to one of the younger nurses. The doctor leaned closer to the window. "I did the best I could and we will check and see what this shows if anything but she is still very raw and red. She needs the cream to keep the inflammation down. It's so necessary that we see if this other ointment helps. - when we need to do this again she needs to be sedated a little. It is too rough for her emotionally right now and it is not good to keep doing this without sedating her a little."

Shelby bit her lip and gave the doctor a weak nod. "I understand." She put a smile on her face. "Alright, sweetie. Let's go home." Shelby nodded to Gus and the three of them left the office.

…..

Quinn stared at her sandwich. Her parents didn't make sandwiches. They hated sandwiches. However, occasionally there would be left over sandwiches from luncheons that her mother had catered with boards she served on. Sandwiches were dumb.

Suddenly the plate moved forward. She looked up and Nana was pushing the the plate closer. "Eat up," she said pointedly. "I just got a call from Shelby that she is heading home and you all need to eat." She looked at disgust at Noah as he shoveled food into his mouth as Santana looked on in disgust. "Clearly, not a problem for you, Noah."

Quinn glared at the sandwich. It was a hot sandwich that was now cold, but it didn't matter because she didn't want to eat it. The only reason at the forefront of her brain was the sandwiches were stupid. They were stupid because they were. No rhyme or reason.

"Quinn, you need to eat."

"No," she muttered.

Joey entered the kitchen with a huff. "Where is the wireless router again? I need to reset it."

Santana pointed to her mother's home computer. "It's over there somewhere." She continued to eat her own sandwich. "Where's Rachel? Is there something wrong?"

"I'm sure she's fine," Brittany said with a smile.

The brunette grinned. "I'm glad you're here."

The blonde smiled. "Ditto."

Joey began to fiddle with the router. Santana and Brittany began discussing something as Noah asked his grandmother for another sandwich. Quinn was too focused on the ridiculous of her sandwich to know that Brittany and Santana were staring at her with concern.

"Here you go, Noah," Helen said. "Quinn, eat the sandwich. I mean it," she said lightly.

"I'm not eating the fucking sandwich!" she screamed as she slammed her casted hand on the table.

The entire room froze. Quinn felt everything in her head stop for a moment. "I'm sorry," she muttered quickly. She shook her head. "I'm sorry."

She stood up and walked out of the room as quickly as possible.

Santana looked at her grandmother, her brother and Brittany. "What the hell is going on?" Helen and Joey exchanged looks.

Joey frowned and looked at her hands. She started to follow after the girl. "I'll go talk to her." She looked at her mother as she stopped. "Shelby wanted to wait to tell them when she got back. She's telling Rachel in the car, but..." She looked at her mother. "Cat's out of the bag." Joey sighed and left the room.

Santana looked sharply at her brother and grandmother. "What's happening?"

Brittany looked at Helen. Santana had known her grandmother her whole life, but the woman wasn't saying a word. The blond looked at Noah and Santana.

"Judy Fabray died last night," the sixteen year old said gently. "It was a car accident. The news said she was thought to be intoxicated but the police are investigating whether drugs or alcohol were involved for sure."

Santana looked at her grandmother and then her brother. "W-w-what?" She looked at her grandmother again. "What?" She turned to Brittany. "What?"

….

"Quinn?" Joey called as she knocked at the bathroom door. She tried to enter but Quinn was leaning up against the door.

"Go away," she hissed from the other side of the door.

"Quinn, you're not allowed to be in the room by yourself. You know the rules."

"Fuck the rules!" Quinn screamed.

Joey sighed in frustration and opened the bathroom door from Santana's room. She arched her brow. "You think that you're the only one who can hide herself in the bathroom?"

Quinn shook her head. "Get out!"

"Nope," she said closing the doors and sitting on the edge of the tub. "I'm sorry," she said with a honest tone that still managed not to be sympathetic. "About your mother. Would you like to talk about it?"

"No!" she frowned. "Just leave me alone. Get out!" Joey didn't move. "Get out!"

"You don't have to talk about it," Joey said. "But you are not staying alone."

Quinn shook her head. "Fine," she looked away from her.

"Can I tell you something? You're not gonna talk, but I am, okay?" the woman asked. Quinn hardened her gaze but didn't turn her eyes back to the woman. "I don't know what your relationship with your mother was. I won't ever try to pretend I understand. I just know how I feel and I don't know, to be honest." She took a deep breath. "In so many ways, I mourned her loss a long time ago. I don't know how you feel, Quinn, not even close. So... I just..." Quinn's face softened and looked at her. "I wanted you to know that...If you don't know, you're not the only one."

The blonde nodded. "Kay..."

Joey smiled. "Kay... Now lets talk about the sandwich."

Quinn rolled her eyes. "I'll apologize."

"There's no question of that," she said forcibly.

"It wasn't about the sandwich," she said with a sigh. "It just... it happened."

"That's okay," Joey said. "But I expect an apology and for you to eat your lunch. You look malnourished."

Quinn frowned. "Thanks..." She shook her head. "You're rude."

"I'm not the one swearing at the elderly," Judy countered.

"Not today," Quinn replied.

"Touche."

"I will apologize," Quinn frowned. "But that is all I can promise. I can eat later when I'm hungry."

"This is not a negotiation, Quinn."

"Says you," she said pointedly.

"Yes, says me, Quinn. We care about you. We love you and your body can't take this self-hatred so much. So I'm asking you to fight for you. I'm not going to stop fighting for you, but you need to fight for you. Got it?"

Quinn frowned. "I'm not eating that damn sandwich."

"Pasta?"

"No."

"Cheese and crackers and fruit," Joey said sharply.

"Fine."

She smiled. "Fine."

….

Santana sat on the couch tracing the back of Brittany's hand as they sat together.

"I can't... I can't believe it," Brittany muttered.

Santana looked at her as she leaned her head back and stared at the ceiling.

"When I saw it on the news," Brittany began. "I was shocked." She bit her lip. "I told you that I never looked you up. I was never going to push her. I know her just like I know you. I was going to wait for her to tell her." She shook her head and met Santana's gaze. "But then it was on the news when I was eating my cereal. It was too fast. It came and went and I didn't have a choice but to watch it. She died. She's dead. She did on the day after her husband went to jail for life for raping his daughter. I didn't know that he was... that that was happening to her..." Her eyes filled with tears. She shook her head. "I didn't know, but I didn't try. I didn't try to know."

"Brittany," Santana said quietly.

"No, San," she muttered. "I didn't try. I just let her pull away. I let her go."

"This isn't your fault. No one knew," she said gently. "They didn't want anyone to know."

"That doesn't make it right, Santana," she started with an exasperated sigh.

"I didn't say that it did," she countered. "I'm saying... sometimes people don't want you to know because it makes it truer." She frowned. "Does that make sense?" Brittany's look of confusion answered her question. "There is stuff I know that I can't tell you because it's hers to tell…but there is stuff I can tell you about me…I just don't know how to do it." She looked at Brittany. "Quinn kept that secret not to hurt you, but not to protect you. She did it to protect herself... not just from her parents...but..." She sighed. "I …I don't need you to affirm my feelings. I don't need you to make me feel better if I tell you what happened. I don't need you to build me up or make me feel less pathetic, because I feel pathetic all on my own. I feel helpless all on my own. I don't want to verbalize it because they are … I don't know...All that happens becomes even more true when I say them out loud." She met the girl's eyes. "It's not about sharing the burden or whatever. It's about getting to the other side... and ….What I

I'm saying is that some people need to talk about it." She shrugged. "And others don't even know where to begin."

"Santana, I didn't-"

"What I'm saying," she continued quietly, "Is that... I never understood why you were friends with her for the longest time. Why she wanted to be friends with you... but... now I get it."

Brittany frowned. "What do you mean?"

"You're the one good thing in her life. She needed you and in so many ways, you needed her too. I know that your life hasn't been perfect.-"

"Compared to you and Quinn it has," Brittany said standing up. "I'm in the dark here, San."

Santana frowned. "What?"

"Don't you get it?" she asked quietly. "You think you're on the outside wanting in, but I'm the one who wants in. I've always been on the outside." She shook her head. "I'm not making any sense. I don't want to know all the details. I just want you. And I want to be here for Quinn, but I don't know how."

"You are amazing," Santana said softly. "I want you here. This is where I told you I need time and patience but I really want you here. You're beautiful. You're everything that's good in this miserable, stinking world." She shrugged. "You might not think that you're doing enough or saying the thing." She took her hand and gave the blonde a smile and stood up. She kissed her softly on the cheek. "But everything that you're saying and being here... It's all right."

Brittany leaned forward and rested her forehead on santana's. "I don't know where we stand," she whispered. "I need you to be honest with me, I need you just as much... maybe more."

Santana leaned forward cupped her face. "I know," she whispered. "I need you, too."

Shelby walked through the front door and the girls pulled away slightly. Santana looked up at the door as she still held Brittany's hand. She noted her mother's look of exhaustion and then she saw Rachel in her mother's arms, sounds asleep.

"Mom?" Santana asked.

Shelby gave a deep frown and shook her head. "She's okay, San. She just had a rough appointment." She walked into the living room. "I'm going to lay her down here. Are Quinn and Noah in the kitchen?"

Santana looked over at Brittany. "Noah is. Quinn's upstairs with Aunt Joey." She handed Santana blanket and tucked the blanket up around Rachel. "What happened?"

Santana ran her hand through Rachel's hair.

"She had a bad exam. She started crying and kicking..." she put a smile on her face when she saw Brittany's stunned look. "But we got through it. She and Quinn haven't been sleeping and have been eating far less. I don't want you to take care of it, San, but I need you to help me watch them and tell me okay?"

She nodded. "We know about Quinn, Mom." She met her mother's eyes. "About Judy being dead."

Shelby sighed. "I told Rachel in the car. I was going to tell you guys when I returned." She shook her head. "I'll go talk to her."

Santana looked at her stood up. "I'll bring her down. Stay here, okay?"

"Santana, it's fine," Shelby insisted.

"No, Mom, I'll go get her. Okay?"

Shelby nodded. "You're still grounded, you know?"

Santana smirked. "When am I not?"

The brunette smiled and squeezed Brittany's hand and headed up the stairs.

Shelby turned to the blonde and gave her a small smile. "I'm glad you're here, Brittany," she said pulling her her into a hug. Brittany stiffened slightly and looked at her with surprise. "You are a special girl, Brittany. You always have been." She stroke her hair softly. "I want to tell you that I will always be here for you no matter what your relationship with Santana is. Okay? Just try to make good choices."

"What if I have to murder for her?" Brittany asked suddenly from Shelby's arms.

"I hope that you don't, ever, have to do that," Shelby chuckled and held the girl close. "Relationships are complicated, but I trust rhe two of you to take the rights steps when you need to. I just ask that you trust yourselves too."

"She hasn't said anything about school," Brittany whispered. "I don't know what to say."

"Let her come to you. You and I both know that you can't force that girl to do anything." Shelby laughed.

"You can," Brittany laughed.

"That's true." The mother smiled.

…

Santana knocked on the door to the bathroom. Joey and Quinn were sitting on the floor in silence.

"Mom's home," Santana muttered.

Quinn rolled her eyes. "I'm fine."

The brunette scowled. "I didn't say you weren't. Don't get your panties in a bunch."

"Girls, don't start," Joey frowned as she stood up.

"Can we have a moment please, warden?" Santana asked rolling her eyes.

Joey looked over at Quinn then back at Santana. "A moment. I'll be in the hall." She pointed at the girls. "I mean it. A moment."

Quinn watched her leave with a frown. "I don't want to talk to you either, Satan."

"I don't care," Santana shrugged as she sat down on the floor.

Quinn looked at the closed door with a frown. "You know," she said plainly. "I don't want to talk about it."

"I didn't say anything," she said back. She sighed. "But I will now. I don't know what to say to you. I'm not going to pretend to. I know right now though...that you don't know what to do or think or feel because that's you." She sighed. "When my dad died, my stepdad... or whatever... didn't let anyone else go... It was just me, and Noah and Rach and that asshole..." Quinn watched as Santana played with her cuticles. She went on tearfully. "I was upset at everybody that day... that whole time..." She caught her words. "I'm not saying that my loss is the same as yours. It's not …. I don't mean that... What I'm saying is that... Everytime I think about that day when I put my dad in the ground, I remember holding my sister and my brother holding us." She looked at her tearfully. "I don't want you thinking back on that day wishing that you had someone there for you but you didn't because you were dumb and told us not to be there because you didn't want us there or whatever," she said very hurriedly. She calmed. "I'm just... I would be there for you." She made eye contact with her. "I will always be there for you, whether you like it or not." She took her hand silently. "I don't know what you want to do, but when you figure it out. I'll be here."

Quinn sighed and looked back at the door but continued to hold Santana's hand.

"She's dead," she said plainly. She looked at Santana sadly. "And I don't feel anything."

Joey leaned against the wall in the hallway and she let the tears flow. She was having the opposite problem. She was feeling too much. She wasn't sure what to say or how to say it and these sixteen year olds were more together than her.

"Nothing," she heard Quinn sob. "Nothing at all."

I am so grateful for everyone's kind words and support for this story. Thank you so much! Please let me know what you think of this turn. I have been planning Judy's demise since the beginning. I would love to hear what you think, even if you don't like things.