Open Wounds

by 216BLT

AU: The past is the past. Puck, Santana, & Rachel Corcoran have moved on from theirs, but when their mother decides to take in a teen, old memories resurface. Also, new scars are made as they navigate through adolescence, ones that might not heal.

45. Chapter 45

Chapter 45

The-Doctors-Song – You read the whole thing in one night – impressive! Sorry for making you cry I hope there were some parts that you laughed on to though. I don't mind that this story inspired you to write your own. I am flattered. Thank you so much for reviewing.

Lexie-Rae – Joey does see that the only good thing that came out of Judy's life is Quinn. She will forever be part of Quinn's life. She has an aunt forever. Quinn may find it difficult sometimes but Joey will never leave her now. Britt will start to push Quinn and San more. She knows only the outer layer but she wants in and is not going anywhere and now that the girls know that she is not scared off they will open up more to her. The exam was awful and they will continue to be for awhile unfortunately. Noah is in this chapter a bit more. Thanks so much for the lengthy review! I love them. I hope you enjoy this chapter.

Hazelstar – The most Holly and Shelby will be is friends. Quinn and Britt will start to open up more dialog. Quinn's family life for the most part is now known to Brittany so she will begin to trust her more and share more with her. If and only if Rachel was ever kidnapped, Quinn and Santana and Noah would not allow that kidnapper to live long. Thanks so much for your review.

Renata – I am so glad you liked the chapter. Mr. Schue is a sick man. Shelby is nuts after hearing all that she is doing her best to hold it together though. I think you will really like Quinn's honesty to someone in this chapter. It will be a daily struggle for both girls to eat and gain the weight that they need to. Thank you for the review and the kiss.!

Drea LuRuiz – Thank you so much. Judy dying was planned from the beginning but there was a time when I wasn't going to do it but just had to. It fits the story so much better.

broadwaybound2016 – I'm glad! Thanks for reviewing.

Ainsley Grace – Sorry to make you cry. I hope they are not tears over Judy's demise though. Thanks for the review.

Iuterpi – Sorry for the rollercoaster ride. There are more things to come. Quinn will have this up and down feeling for a while. While she was not a big fan of Judy's, she was still her biological mother and shouldn't you feel something for the woman that raised you? You will see what Noah is planning to do in the next chapter or two and if we catch the evil Mr. Schue. Thanks for finding the story again and reviewing.

Guest – I am glad I could spring the Judy surprise on you. It was honestly planned from day one. Holly is an awesome teacher she just has some unorthodoxed ways to teach the kids. Rachel and Quinn will still have a hard time on the exams and I wish I could say that they could just avoid them for a while but based on what happened it has to be done. The family may take a trip but the last one didn't go all that well and while Will is on the loose they are staying close to home. Thanks for the review.

Fangirl44 – Judy dying was a twist but it was needed as well. You will see Noah's plans in the next couple of chapters. Thanks for reviewing.

GracieSunset – You will soon see if Will does anything more to Rachel but he has already done a considerable amount to her unfortunately. Thanks for the review.

Cookie07 – The new review system is messing up a lot of people I think especially the authors! You never sound like a rambling idiot. I am truly amazed the depth that you and others put in your reviews and it makes me so happy. Will is very cray – cray. Suzy is a lost soul who is now in a whole lot of trouble because she has no guidance but she better smarten up or she will be lost forever. Quinn is going to have a lot of mixed emotions for the burial and the days before and after. It is a very very emotional time for Quinn and she is still recovering from a serious operation so she is going to be watched very very carefully by everyone. Judy's death will bring up some emotions for Noah and San because of the loss of a parent but it wont be the same. Now the thing with Nana – for the next several weeks or months these kids will have so many people treating them differently. Nana is one of the people that remains consistent. It does not matter what has happened to these kids. She needs to go on treating them exactly as she has always treated them. And she will treat all her granddaughters the same way. With Rachel's flirting comment – to Rachel it is normal – she does not see this as outing anything – this is normal to her. It's kind of like this – my beta's niece is married to a woman and they have 3 kids – my beta's son is the same age as her nieces oldest – he has never questioned that she has two moms – it doesn't affect him – it has always been that way – its not strange to him so Rachel saying that San and Britt flirt is the same as Noah flirting with a girl – it is what it is – no big deal. I hope that makes sense. Noah's road trip will be discussed in the next couple of chapters. Yes and you see where Rachel gets her know it all attitude – Nana is an older version of Rachel. Thanks as always for the review. – I feel like I am the rambling one!

Anna – I wish everyone was like Shelby too. She is one in a million but she does have her faults as well. I am glad you like Holly. She will be in it for a while. Thanks for the review.

alopez208 – Brittany wants to be there for both of her friends and it will get easier now that San and Quinn as sisters . Trust me because they are so alike they will need someone like Brittany in there to help pull them off each other when they fight. Thanks for the review.

Guest – They may have a little more heartbreak but they will all get through it together. Thanks for the review.

Abbie – Its hard to feel sorrow for Judy because of the pain she caused her daughter both directly and indirectly. There are some people in this world that should not be mothers and she is definitely one of them. Frannie will be addressed this chapter and I honestly don't care what happens to Russell. Rachel will be ok with time but unfortunately she will have the exams for a while due to what happened to her. It will get easier for her though. Thanks for reviewing.

GleeFanatic1988 – San and Quinn are now very close sisters who will lean on each other more than ever. They know that they do not have to do this alone. Thanks for the review.

Ryoko05 – Rachel needs people like Holly and Camilla in her life because even if nothing had happened to Rachel she is still the baby of the family and they would always baby her. Now that everything has happened it only heightens how much they will baby her so it is good that people outside the family don't do it. She needs to be less coddled by those people. Thanks so much for your review.

Kimberlli – Thanks for squealing! Will does have all sorts of plans for Rachel the key is will he get to implement them. The funeral will have a LOT of police there. Shenanigans maybe in store but Quinn is just feeling nothing so I am not sure she will have much of a fight in her there. But you never know. Thanks for your kind words and your review. They are very much appreciated.

Guest – The kids interacting with each other is important because when they go back to school they need to feel secure in having each other. Judy dying is sad for everyone involved though because it brings no closure to Quinn. Thanks for your review.

Guest – Hiram is very much alive living in Sing Sing Prison in NY. Thanks

Guest – Judy dying lets you know that Quinn never will be hit by this woman again. Quinn will move on but it wont be an easy road for her. Thanks for the review.

look4me – I am not sure you are going to like Noah and Quinn's interaction in this chapter but it is still very sibling like. Judy dying was actually planned from the very beginning so it worked out well where it ended up. Quinn will open up to Shelby more but she is so afraid, confused and inside her head right now. Thanks so much for all your support on tumblr and with the reviews. I love them keep them coming.

NinjaGleek21 – Thanks again for the cookie and the crate of Will. Not sure if we will open up that crate yet but I do like your idea of where to send it.

Piper - You are correct Quinn is a very lost little girl right now and so much has happened to her in such a short period of time. Will is quite the monster and right now we only are aware that Suzy was helping him – could it be more – maybe – Thanks for your review.

Gleeauthor11 – Thanks so so much. I would be amazed if this was ever published but if it were – I would send you an advanced copy!

thelastcenturian – Schuester is an "effen ass". Please don't go insane. I want all my readers and reviewers alive and well. Thanks for the review.

Guest – I have to say I do strive for longer than 16K words but sometimes I want to get the chapter posted and I need to end it in a different place. I will be working hard to get it back up to 18K where I like it to be. Thanks for the review.

A C one – Helen is an older version of Rachel. That is where Rachel gets some of it. Poor Noah he tries so hard and is great but sometimes he sticks his foot in his mouth. They will definitely be doing the food logs with Quinn and Rachel. They need to eat and sleep more. I have already forgotten what that reality checker said in her review. It was done anonymously so people can write whatever they want. And you are correct if this is not your kind of story then don't read it plain and simple. Thank you though for all your kind words and support. They mean so much.

A/N: I'm not sure how I feel about this chapter. It was supposed to be longer and there were many other scenes that were outlined. Instead, my fingers kept typing other scenes that were unplanned. I'm sorry if this isn't want any of you expected…..Please let me know what you think.

Quinn sat on the closed seat of the toilet. She gave a frown.

"Why are we doing this?" she asked.

"Because you're due for a check up," Dr. Fernandez said with a gentle look.

"Are you my doctor now?" she asked with a frown. There was an air of irritation in her voice

"Quinn, please," Shelby said as she leaned against the sink.

"I heard you made Rachel cry," Quinn said as she watched the blood pressure cuff inflate and deflate slowly.

"Quinn," Shelby warned again.

"I did," the doctor admitted quietly. The woman shook her head with regret. "I feel terrible about it."

"Well, you should," Quinn sneered with a snap.

"Okay, enough," Shelby said with a sigh.

Quinns sighed stepped onto the scale with a glare still at the doctor.

"I don't understand why I have to do this," she muttered. "I am not overweight. I eat well. I know all about nutrition. I don't have a lot of carbs and I don't -"

"Quinn," she sighed. "We will talk about this afterward. Let the doctor finish."

While she was grateful to the doctor because the woman interrupted a tortuous lunch with Shelby, Quinn continued to scowl as the woman put the thermometer in her ear. The girl let out a groan of annoyance when the thermometer beeped.

"Quinn," Shelby said with a sigh as she searched her daughter's eyes. The cracks in Quinn's armor came down and in those moments, Shelby was able to see the briefest glimpse of what Quinn used to be, what her life was. "I apologize," Shelby said still eying Quinn. "We're still working on our manners and improving our attitude."

Quinn lowered her head in slight shame. She hated this but disappointing Shelby was still highest on her list. She sighed. She wasn't going to backdown. She wasn't going to waste this woman's time and energy. "I still don't understand why I needed a check up at all," Quinn argued.

Shelby sighed and said, "We needed to check you out before the doctor gives you a new medication."

The sixteen year old rolled her eyes. "I told you. I'm fine. Yes, I ache, but I can get through it. I don't want anymore meds. I am tired of taking them already and I don't need them anymore."

The mother arched an eyebrow. "I can see that you're moving around more easily, but we're not giving you a new pain pill. We're giving you something that'll help you sleep."

"I sleep better," she said hesitantly. "Thanks to your bed on stilts. I don't need that." She looked at the mother and said with a more vulnerable air, "I don't need this."

Shelby got caught up in her daughter's eyes but took a breath and said, "You need it."

"Without your spleen, Quinn," the doctor explained. "You're very prone to infection." She made eye contact with the girl. "It is so important that you understand that. Minor infections for some can really hit you hard. You need to take your medication.-"

"She'll take it," Santana yelled from the other side of the door.

"Santana!" Shelby said pushing herself away from the sink. She opened the door. "I told you to wait downstairs." Santana backed away from the door slowly. "I mean it," Shelby hissed. She stepped into the hallway and Quinn could hear her scolding Santana.

Quinn rolled her eyes. "She thinks she's my nurse," the girl clarified. "Which I don't need, by the way."

"Well, she's right. You need to take your medication and perhaps even consider having a medical card made or a bracelet," the doctor asked.

"Why?" she frowned.

"Because now without a spleen you're more vulnerable." She sighed. "If you're not willing to fight for your body, I don't think that your body will be willing to fight for you." The doctor's words were slow and careful.

"I sleep fine you don't need to -"

"That's not what I heard," the doctor countered. "Also, you're an athlete correct." The nodded slowly. "You need to sleep better and more of it. Or you will get injured or strain your body. I promise you that." She sighed. "Listen, I know you don't know me, but I know that this family, your family, loves you. They need you to take care of yourself, if not for you than for them. Okay? Just think about it alright? But to be honest, you shouldn't have a choice in this. You must take this." She sighed. "but in the end, Quinn, you have so many choices. This shouldn't be one of them. It should be a given."

Quinn looked up as Shelby entered the room.

"I don't need it," she said.

"You need to take it," she whispered gently.

Shelby knelt down next to her. "She will take the antibiotic."

"And I'll prescribe you also a sleeping aide."

"I don't need one," Quinn said cutting her off. "Please. Just me a chance to do this."

Shelby looked at her with her big eyes that were filling with tears. "Honey, it's not that..."

"I need to be in control of something right now," she whispered. "Please."

"And you can, Quinn," Shelby said with a smile. "But you don't have control of your sleeping right now. Don't lie to me and say that you do. You need to show me that you have these things under control. You're not eating. You can't sleep."

"I don't want to be this weak person..." she muttered.

"You're not," Shelby said taking her hand. "And that's okay. You're still in control of so much, but right now you need to get better."

"I am better," she said weakly.

"In so many ways you are," Shelby whispered kissing her softly but there are so many things we need work on."

Quinn sighed and looked at her hands. "Fine," she whispered.

"Why don't we try these for a week and then give me a call. Typical side effects, Shelby, but we'll check in with the girls next week." She looked at Quinn. "Please, give it a chance for a week and then we'll check in."

Quinn opened her mouth to speak, but was cut off.

"She'll do it," Santana said from the now open door.

"Santana," Shelby sighed heavily. She walked to the door and pushed Santana out of the door. "Good bye. Go downstairs and help with dinner please."

"It's ready," she pushed back. "Nana left it before she left with the rest of the adults."

"Go set the table then," Shelby hissed.

"We're not eating in the kitchen?" Santana asked from the other side of the door.

"The counter, whatever, San," Shelby said waving her arm. "Go now."

Shelby closed the door on her more forcibly and leaned against it smiling at the doctor and Quinn apologetically. Shelby listened carefully to the other side. Santana was still shuffling on the other side of it. Quinn shrugged and sighed as she called, "Go away, Satan." She rolled her eyes slightly and casually once Santana made eye contact.

"Fine," Santana stomping away from the other side of the door.

Shelby turned and looked at Quinn with surprise. She wasn't sure if she should address the name calling or be grateful that they weren't throwing lamps at each other anymore.

…...

Noah leaned into the laundry room on the corded house phone as he attempted to hide the phone.

"Hey man," he said into the phone. He peered around into the kitchen to see if anyone was coming.

"Mike, what's up? Why are you calling?" Noah asked. "You're lucky that I picked up the phone before my ma heard." He sighed.

"I had to. You have no phone anymore. And whenever your warden gives if back to you, you'll see lots of voicemails from me. I've been bored out of my mind... I was just calling you to talk."

Noah chuckled. "So what's up?"

"Nothin', just checkin' in," Mike shrugged at the other end. "School sucks without you. I don't understand why you guys were suspended for more time."

"Kinda broke his face," Noah muttered. Mike scoffed on the other end. Slence fell upon them for a brief moment. "Listen, are you still in for the trip?"

"Def, but when?" Mike replied.

"Well, at the moment, I can barely leave the house let alone sneak out of the state," Noah laughed as he leaned down casually. He never thought he would miss school, but he missed his sense of normalcy. "I'm going to ask Coach if I can go to practice. I need to go to practice. How's it going?"

"As good as it can without the captain and the idiot quarterback, but Evans is really stepping up," Mike shrugged.

"Yeah? He's pretty great. Coach had him running all the plays with the wide receivers yesterday and he connected on 90% of the passes." He sighed. "Make sure to watch the film if you come to practice tomorrow because coach put in this play that no way Hudson could handle it but Evans is really stepping up so we know it will work"

"Mike, this trip... I can't talk about it here... but I just, I need you there with me when I go," he muttered.

"Of course." Noah could hear him smile from the other end. "Ever since we started jumping from your uncle's roof to snowboard down the hill, I've been there for you. What roof are we jumping off now?" Mike let his laugh fade away. "I will definitely be there. We can go when my dad's away on business. It'll be perfect!"

Noah sighed. "This isn't an overnight thing."

"Well... how long will it take...?"

"I stole my aunt's iPhone and Google Mapped it..." Noah sighed. "It's like over six hundred miles."

Mike groaned on the other end. "Noah, are you serious?"

"Yeah," he muttered.

"You should have told me," Mike said with a smile again. "You know I love secret missions!"

"Mike," Noah smiled. "This is not just some crazy fun trip... Not like that time that we did Mikah Ditch Day..." He sighed. "Let's see. Let's see..."

"I have an idea!" Mike suddenly spoke, "Why don't we tell our parents that we are going to look at some schools! Your mom would love that...she would jump at that opportunity if she thought you were going to look at colleges. She really wants you to do it man...I mean...I think you should too, but that's another conversation."

"That sounds great," Noah thought quietly. A chair shifting in the kitchen broke his concentration. He peaked back around the corner and saw Rachel pushing a chair in that it looked like she ran into. "Hey man, I have to go," he muttered.

"Alright," Mike sighed. "Listen, get your warden to release you."

Noah laughed. "I'll try, but listen, my baby sister woke up. I really gotta go."

"She doin' okay?"

Noah was silent as he watched Rachel carefully as she poked the food that was on the stove "She'll be fine," he muttered. "Talk to you later."

He hung up the phone and walked over to Rachel. "Hey, bug," he smiled.

She looked at him with an exhausted look. He sighed and picked her up and sat her on the counter. He kneeled down and looked in her eyes. He rubbed his nose against hers. "Did you sleep, bug?" Rachel shrugged and looked at her hands. "Hey," he chuckled. "What's wrong?" She didn't move. He frowned. "How about... some ice cream?"

She looked at him. "Noah, I'm vegan."

"Oh," he grinned. "So does that mean you can't have ice cream?"

She shook her head. "No, Noah. No animals."

"There's meat in ice cream?" Rachel rolled her eyes. He opened the refrigerator and smiled. "How about... cheese?"

"Noah," she said with a tired sigh.

He pretended to search through the refrigerator. "What about the Oreo cake? I think Aunt Joey brought us cake."

She grinned. "You ate all of it." He was grateful for a smile. "Plus, Noah, cake has eggs and milk and butter," she sighed.

He walked over to her and cupped her face gently. She looked at him with jaded eyes. "Why can't I bribe you with crap food like the other two? Even Quinn has a weakness."

"What is it?" Rachel asked with a tiny hint of a smile.

"Bacon," he said leaning his elbows on the counter on either side of her body.

The hinted smile disappeared. "That's so gross," she whispered. She fiddled with her hands. "Noah?"

"Yeah, Bug?" he asked pulling a stool over to him and sat in front of her.

"Can I go on your trip too?"

His head snapped up. "What?"

"You were talking to Mike," she said casually. "I have ears." She sighed. "I want to go, too." She met his gaze. "Please."

"It's just me and Mike, Rach," he said with an unfocused gaze. "You wouldn't wanna go."

"I do wanna go," she said desperately.

"Go where, bug?" Santana asked as she entered into the room.

Noah sighed. "Nowhere."

Santana pulled herself onto the counter next to Rachel.

"...He's going somewhere with Mike..he said I can't go," she muttered.

Noah felt Santana's eyes on him burning a hole in his head. He took a beat and took a deep breath before he looked up at Santana. He and his sister had a look; they had a language. It interchanged when they looked at each other. Sometimes, Santana would force him to have a silent conversation when he wasn't talking to her..when he didn't want to. She tricked him into things. Like the time that she tricked him into giving her all of his allowance or the numerous times that she tricked him into babysitting Rachel. He paused and looked up at her. She searched his eyes. He felt like his brain was being read. She looking down at him, not because she was sitting on the counter. She was frowning; she was searching. He darted his eyes around the room. Finally she narrowed her eyes and looked over at Rachel.

"Rach, lets be honest," Santana said with a roll of her eyes. "Would you really wanna be stuck in a car with just Noah and Mike?"

Rachel looked at her. "Yeah," she mumbled.

Santana narrowed her eyes at Noah. He was in trouble. She knew. "Rachel, go set the table."

"The breakfast table?" she muttered.

"Yeah," Santana muttered still holding Noah's gaze. Noah stood up and lifted Rachel off of the counter and she slowly went to the breakfast nook on the other side of the kitchen, staring behind her as she began to set the table.

Santana leaned close to him and grabbed his collar, but in a subtle way hoping that Rachel wouldn't notice, but she did.

"Honestly, whatever you're up to I will find out," she hissed. "And it's a stupid idea. And I want in."

"Noah?" Rachel called from the other side of the room.

Santana let go and Noah looked at her with a small smile. "Yeah, bug?"

"Have you sent out your applications?" She paused and looked at him.

"I... uh..." He looked over at Santana and paused. She was yelling at him in silence with her big eyes. Fuck, he muttered. "Listen, Rach," he said walking over to her and sitting across from her. "I missed it... I didn't …. I didn't do it."

"Noah," Santana said with a soft voice that run with such disappointment. "You told Pop-Pop..."

Noah shook his head and focused back on Rachel. "I wanna stay here, bug. I wanna stay here with you... with Mom and Q..." He smirked. "Even San-bags." His smile faded when she saw that Rachel was tearing up.

"You're doing this because of me..." she whispered. "You're doing this because of me," she said more brokenly.

"Rachel," he whispered. "Bug," he said leaned closer to her. "I …" He opened his mouth and realized he didn't know what to say. He didn't have the words to tell her that she was wrong, because he was staying for her.

She shook her head and the tears flowed. "You are an amazing player... I don't really know everything about football... but you …. You went and... you're an All-Star..." she wiped her tears with the back of her hands and Noah reached out and wiped the couple tears that she missed. She looked at him with a tilt of her head. "You're not a lima loser. You're an All-Star."

He gave a baffled and uncomfortable scoff. "Rach," he started with a shake of his head. "Being an All-Star doesn't matter to me."

Rachel pushed him away. "It should," she hissed. "Don't you get it?" The tears began again and Noah couldn't help but sigh. "Noah, this is who you are. This is who you are and because... because of all that happened you're not... You're refusing to be an All-Star."

"Rachel, life is not simple. It's not about chasing a dream and winning some huge prize," he said with a nervous smile.

"Noah," Santana said harshly.

"I know that," Rachel cried. "I know that!"

His face fell. "Listen-"

"No, you listen," she hissed. "I know school isn't your thing. And maybe being an All-Star isn't your thing. But... being here isn't your thing..." She frowned and wiped her tears again. "Settling for this isn't your thing. It can't be."

He leaned back in shock and looked over at Santana for guidance but she was staring at the ground. He had no one to tell him what to say.

"Rachel, I..."

"I... I …." she stuttered. She looked at him and continued. "So much has happened. I don't want you staying here to become something you're not..."

"Rachel," he tried again. "Rachel, this is what I want this is -"

"No," she whispered sharply. "No!" She shook her head. "This is you not …. This is you not even trying..."

Rachel looked at him. She paused. She looked at Santana then she looked behind her as Quinn trailed in. They heard Shelby walk to the door with the doctor. Rachel looked at the ground.

"Rach?" Noah asked.

Rachel looked at the ground more intensely. She realized in that moment that not only was stuck and confused. So was everyone else, but she couldn't help but feel that she was holding him back, holding all of them back.

"Rach?" Shelby said coming into the room. "What's going on?"

Rachel looked over at Noah and then away. "Nothing," she whispered.

Noah chewed his lip. He frowned at Rachel's bowed head. "Nothing."

Dinner was silent. Helen had left a casserole, a salad and bread for the family. She had made a separate vegan pasta for Rachel. Quinn and Rachel were forced to sit directly next to Shelby as they ate. She talked quietly about the food logs and necessity of sticking to their plans. Quinn tried her best not to roll her eyes as Shelby talked about charts and responsibility. Periodically, Shelby glanced over to Noah and Santana who were quietly eating. She caught Santana glaring at Noah, trying unsuccessfully to be subtle.

"What's going on?" Shelby asked as she interjected a loud hissing spat at the sink after they had finished. Quinn and Rachel continued to pout quietly over their food.

"Nothing," she hissed.

"Yeah, right," Shelby rolled her eyes. She looked over her shoulder. "No, Rachel, do not hide food in your napkin. I can see it.."

Rachel frowned and continued to eat as Quinn simply shot death glares at Shelby.

"Keep glaring, Quinn, all you'll get is a headache and wrinkles," Shelby said. "We will do charts with every meal, ladies starting tomorrow. Get ready." Shelby looked at the girls' food. "Three more bites."

After whining pouting and groans of frustration, the girls were finished dinner. "Clean up in here please. Rachel and I will be back."

Santana watched Shelby disappear up the stairs before glaring at her brother. "Spill," she hissed.

"Spill what?" Quinn said rubbing her stomach. "I feel like I've been force fed rocks."

Santana shook her head and glared at her brother, ignoring Quinn's statement. "Seriously."

"Drop it," he muttered. "She doesn't know what she heard and neither do you. Nothing is going on."

"Bull shit," Santana hissed. "You can't even steal cake from the counter without me! I am a rock star."

"If I recall, you can't even still cake for me."

"Why are we talking about cake?" Quinn whined.

Santana shoved a towel and a plate in Quinn's direction. "You're on dry."

She sighed and looked at them seriously. "But really. What's going on?"

"Noah's planning a thing and he's not including us," Santana said.

"You sound like you are five. Knock it off. Just drop this," he said handing Quinn a plate.

"Clearly, it's something," Quinn said with a frown. She looked at Santana. "You know that we can help you. We're much better at pulling off sneak plans than you."

"Truth!" Santana said with a nod.

"No," he sighed. "Just drop it! Stop focusing on me when you should be focusing on you!"

"What's that supposed to mean?" Santana hissed.

Noah narrowed his eyes at Santana and then looked at Quinn.

"Oh," Quinn whispered. "Well," she straightened. "I'm fine."

"Bull shit," Noah said honestly.

"I'm fine," she said again.

"You're not fine," he huffed. He turned and looked at her. "Russell is in prison for life. Judy's dead!"

"Shut the hell up," Santana hissed.

"No, fuck off, Noah," Quinn barked. "I'm fine!"

Santana gave him another shove. "You are so out of line right now!"

"No," the blonde barked. "Do you wanna play this game?" she asked with her hands in the air throwing the clean plate in the dirty sink. "Let's list ALL the reasons we aren't fine!" She looked at Santana. "Shall we?"

"Quinn, don't," she pushed.

"No," she pushed back. "Rachel sleeps in the bathtub. Why? Because I left her with a child molester and the icing on the cake? I got her in a car accident that almost killed her right after she was attacked. She had blood on the inside of her legs when I found her. Did she tell you that? But you know what? It doesn't matter, because I'm fine!" she spat.

"Quinn, stop," Noah urged.

"No," she said with a shake of her head. She glared at him aggressively. "Let's see. You all talk and you think I don't listen." She widened her eyes. "So let's see if I have this right?" she snickered. "Tell me if I don't. Feel free to jump in." She pointed her finger and moved it between Santana and Noah. "Your dad died and left you with some sadistic bastard and no one knew where you were.-"

Santana's head bowed and her gaze looked at the floor.

Noah stepped forward. "Quinn, I mean it. Calm down. I'm sorry. I was out of line."

"No, you weren't," she spit back "You're right on point. Now where was I?" She scoffed. "Then he beat the shit out of you and raped Rachel so badly she couldn't move." She looked at Santana, whose head was still bowed.. "I don't even know what he did to you. Care to share?"

Noah stepped between the two girls. "Back off."

"You first," she hissed. "Leave me alone. Don't tell me I'm not fine because I'm just as raw as you are. So leave me the fuck alone and I won't push you."

"We don't mean to push you," Santana said from behind Noah, pushing him away. "He was out of line and he knows it."

Quinn looked at Santana and softened. "I'm sorry," she muttered.

Santana nodded. "Don't worry about it. I'm sorry too."

Quinn shook her head. "You didn't do anything." The two sisters glared at Noah. "Clearly, you're hiding something and we'll find out."

"Quinn, listen," he began.

"Shut up," she cut him off. "You don't get to pull that card again. Got it?"

He nodded. "Yeah," he muttered. "I'm sorry."

"Whatever," she said as she reached over and to began to rewash the plate she threw into the dirty water. Santana pushed her over gently.

"You have a cast on stupid," she muttered. "You're on dry." Santana glared at her brother who was looking. down at the ground.

"I'm sorry, Quinn."

"Forget it," she said not turning to look at him.

"Forget what?" The three of them turned and clad in a penguin patterned pajama pants and shirt set stood Rachel, looking at the three of them with a frown.

Shelby had her hands resting on Rachel's shoulders.

Quinn watched as Santana handed her the clean plate and put on a smile that the blonde had labeled her Rachel-needs-bright-and-shiny-things smile.

"Hey, bug."

"What's going on?" Shelby asked.

"Nothin," Noah said.

The mother sighed and handed Rachel and Quinn their pills and a glass of water. "Sure," she said skeptically.

Rachel took the pill and leaned her head against the counter with a yawn. Quinn took the pill with a frown and mumbles of its unnecessary nature.

"Alright, bed all of you," she said.

Noah put his arms around Rachel. "I can help her."

"Okay, Quinn let's go," Shelby said. "San, get ready too."

Shelby watched closely as Santana glared at her brother and moved toward the stairs. She narrowed her eyes.

"Is there something wrong, Santana?" she asked her eldest daughter.

The girl looked at everyone in the room. "Nothing. Nothing at all."

Noah followed Rachel into her room but could still feel Santana glaring at him.

"Are you going to stay with San tonight?" he asked leaning against the doorframe.

She looked at him and nodded. "Yeah," she was slightly embarrassed. "I just wanted to get some socks. George is in there already." She sighed and turned to him. She pulled them on tiredly as she searched his eyes. "Mom and I could hear you all yelling downstairs."

He deflated. "What?"

Rachel nodded. "This house is old. Plus you were loud..." She sighed and finished putting on her socks. "We couldn't hear everything, but you made Quinn upset."

"I know," he said quietly. "I'm gonna talk to her."

"Mom's going to talk to you too," she said warningly. "Why won't you tell me where you're going?" He looked at her confused. "On your trip, I mean."

"Because you don't need to worry about it," he said.

"Someday I'm going to grow up and be happy, Noah," she said quietly as she played with her hands. She looked at him. "And I won't need you to be a grown up... I'll just need you to be my brother and I hope you'll be my friend..."

He laughed. "Rachel, I'm your friend."

"No, you're not," she said quietly.

"I'm not?" he asked.

"No," she said with a smile.

"Who am I ?" he asked.

"I don't know," she shrugged. "You're...you're my big brother...I heard Mom joke with someone once saying that you act like you're her husband.-"

"Eww! Rachel!" he said with disgust.

"I didn't mean it in a gross way, Noah," she sighed. "I mean that... you act like... like a grown up... even when you eat cake for breakfast and you eat a whole pizza by yourself..." She sighed. "You're immature in so many ways-"

He frowned. "Thanks?..."

She sighed. "What I mean is...You are playing a role." She looked at him. "Sometimes I see you, the real you but ….I miss my brother. And I don't want you to be old... like twenty, which is super old! And still be stuck here."

"Rachel," he sighed.

"Noah, I won't tell Mom about your trip if you promise me that you won't hold back... and you'll mail your applications."

He searched her eyes. "Rachel," he said quietly.

"I see your applications on your desk. You would be great at the Johnson and Wales one... I see that application on your desk too," she sighed.

"Why? It's in Miami...I wouldn't see you except for holidays and stuff."

"I know that you don't want that," she sighed. "But, Nana and Pop-pop are there and … there are … beaches and..." She argued and looked at him. "That's where Bear went..." She looked at him. "I think you would make a great police officer..."

He looked at her with a frown. "Rachel... I'm not going to-"

"You are," she said leaning on his arm. "You just don't know it yet, because you're pretending too hard at being a grown up." She looked up at him. "Just try." She smiled. "Or I'll tell Mom that you're going rogue."

He smiled and pulled Rachel closer to him, resting his chin on the top of her head.

"I just want happy things for you as much as you want them for me," she muttered as she hugged his arm that wrapped around her. She looked up at him. "So if you don't put them in the mail, then I'll tell." She let out a yawn. "Oh, and one more thing."

"Yes, your majesty," he laughed.

"Will you sing me the song?" she asked looking at him.

He smiled at her. "Sure."

…...

Santana washed her face vigorously at the sink. She needed to get rid of everything in her head. She needed to focus. Quinn had just lost everything and she had it together. Why were her words ringing in her head causing Santana to be so off balance? She blinked and looked around. She needed to pull this together, but she couldn't. She leaned against the sink. She was exhausted and felt so far from herself. Brittany has been looking at her begging to know her secrets. She never felt so far from everyone. She was there; she was in the moments but it felt as if she was playing a part...

She looked up and heard Noah and Rachel enter her room.

She could hear them quietly through the crack in the door. She frowned as she watched them. In so many way, she had always been on the outside of everything. She wanted it that way; she didn't want the responsibility of having to reciprocate. It was hard enough to be honest .. or at least partially ...to her family. Let alone to others. She would rather be on the outside, forcing people to wonder, rather than having people look at her because they knew the truth.

She frowned. Still somehow she had let Quinn in. However, she was reminded tonight that Quinn didn't know anything about what happened to her. Brittany told her that she didn't know how to be there for her. She missed so desperately who they used to be. Did she need to know in order to get her? … to love her? She bit her lip. It wasn't just about rejection. It was so much more than that. Loving and being loved was hard enough, but … doing it under the judgement of others, as they criticized the "lifestyle" twisted Santana's insides even more. Would they whisper, 'it's because of what happened to her?' She frowned. Would Brittany think that?

She bit her lip. Did anyone know the reason for who they were? Do you become the person you are because of reasons or do things just happen? She groaned and rested her head on the sink.

She hated tutoring but the idea of returning to school made her want to vomit. She was a private person because she didn't know the truth about herself. I mean who did? And now... after an extra week of gossip in their absence, she would arrive back at school more vulnerable. She had to be ready. She had to be tough or else they would think they won.

She paused and looked at herself in the mirror. Won what, exactly? Fuck, she groaned. She couldn't think about this anymore. She couldn't think about any of this. She just wanted to -

She froze.

She could hear Noah singing softly to Rachel in the other room. She looked through the slightly ajar door. He was singing the song. That damn song. She frowned as she felt her eyes tear up. She hated the Beetles but she would always love them.

Six year old Santana peaked through the bedroom door. She saw her father rocking Rachel quietly. The sixteen month old kept waking up in the middle of the night. He was humming the song as he rocked her.

"I see you, Taz," he smiled at the door. He knelt down to her level with the baby still in his arms. He motioned for her to come in.

She frowned and walked to him. "What are you doing up, my little hobbit?"

She shrugged. "I couldn't sleep."

"You never can," he said with a soft smile. She looked at him with a frown. "This first night back after you visit your Mom's you two never sleep." He sighed and picked her up in one arm as Rachel leaned her head against his shoulder in the other arm. He walked out to the living room of the Brownstone. "Let's see," he said as he set Santana on the kitchen counter and walked to the pantry with Rachel. "Let's see... how about a midnight snack, Sanny?"

She shook her head. "No, thanks."

"Hmmm," he said with a sigh as he rubbed Rachel's back. He went back over to Santana and picked her up and walked to the living room. He set Santana in the glider chair and placed Rachel in her lap. "Watch her head," he said.

"I know," San said rolling her eyes. She smiled at Rachel and poked her nose. Rachel frowned and looked at her indignantly.

Her father put a movie on and returned to them, lifting both of them and placing them back into his lap. "Alright," he said with a grin. "This is a perfect movie to put my babies to sleep at 2am."

The words "It's A Wonderful Life," flashed across the screen. Santana held her baby sister's hand the whole time as her father rocked both of them gently, waiting and hoping that the movie would lull them to sleep. Instead, both of them watched the whole thing, all one hundred and thirty minutes of it.

He sighed as he continued to rock them in the chair as the credits rolled. "What am I going to do with you two?" he asked with a smile.

Santana rested her head on his chest, listening quietly to his heartbeat.

He began to hum to them slowly as he rocked. He started out slow. His voice was raw and honest.

"Close your eyes and I'll kiss you. Tomorrow I'll miss you. Remember, I'll always be true."

Santana closed her eyes and listened to the purity of his voice as he continued to sing. It wasn't upbeat like she heard on the radio. It was soft; the melody of his voice wrapped around her safely. It was gentle and soft. He held her close and she looked over to see Rachel already asleep. She had heard him sing it softly like this a thousand times, but this was home. The acoustic and tenderness of his voice relaxed her. this was how the song should be in her young opinion. It's how it should always be. It was how he always sang it.

She eased her eyes closed with his arms around her.

She looked at Rachel as her eyes began to flutter close. She entered the room slowly. Her brother looked up but continued to sing softly. He remembered how their father used to sing it. He sang it in the same tender tempo. Santana shot him a look that was a mixture of annoyance. She leaned against the pillows of her bed and took Rachel in her arms and her sister folded herself into her arms. She hummed the harmony against her brother's melody. She heard Rachel's breath get heavier and saw her grip on her George loosen.

"She's asleep," Santana whispered. "Now get out of my room."

Noah rolled her eyes and paused at the door. "You okay?"

"Go away," she muttered as she turned to curl next to Rachel. "Turn off the light on your way out." She watched him pause. "I'm fine," she responded into the dark. "Just go to bed."

He nodded and closed the door gently behind him.

…..

Quinn groaned as Shelby handed her the shampoo as the blonde bathed in the Shelby's restroom.

"Can't Santana help me shower?" she asked.

"No," Shelby said quietly. "You want to tell me what happened downstairs?"

Quinn paused. "Not really," she finally said. She sighed and forced herself to finish bathing. She turned off the water and took the towel that was stuck into the shower.

"Elyse is coming over tomorrow," Shelby said quietly.

"Joy," Quinn grumbled as she wrapped the towel around her.

"I'm here to talk when you need, Quinn."

The girl looked at the floor. "I know," she muttered. "I just …. I hate that I need to talk... I don't know... I just... I don't know what to say. Other than..." She trailed off.

"Other than what?"

Quinn scoffed. "Other than, is this a joke?" She looked up at Shelby and her smile faded. "This all just feels like a bad joke."

"Yeah?" Shelby asked.

Quinn nodded. "Yeah." She held out her arm. "Can you help me get this bag off?"

Shelby assisted her in taking off the bag. She waited outside of Quinn's bedroom as the girl finished getting dressed for bed.

"Okay," the girl called.

The mother entered the room as Quinn climbed up into the bed.

"I just want to sleep," Quinn said surprising herself. Shelby watched as the girl's eyes closed and she tucked the lamb next to her silently.

"Alright," Shelby said. "I love you." She saw the girl smile slightly with her eyes still closed. "I'll see you in the morning."

"Kay," Quinn whispered.

Shelby nodded and closed the door behind her as she made way to the next room. Santana had her arms wrapped protectively around Rachel. Shelby kissed both of them softly and made her way down quietly to Noah's room. She entered with a gentle knock.

He turned and looked at her. He was rummaging through papers at his desk.

"Hey," he said as his eyes darted around the room.

"Hey," she smiled as she entered. "There are stamps in the desk downstairs if you need them."

He looked at her in surprise. "Um... yeah..." He gazed at the floor uncomfortably.

"I would love to take you to look at schools," she said gently as she sat on his unmade bed.

He looked at her. "You don't need to do that," he said with a shrug. "I have it covered."

"Really?" Shelby asked with an arch of her brow. "Do you want to explain to me what happened downstairs?"

"Um..." he looked at the ground.

She looked at him as she crossed her legs and tilted her head. "Because it sounds to me that you were trying to get the attention off you and onto Quinn and it worked."

He sighed. He was pretty sure his mother bugged the house. She had ears like... He thought quietly. Like something with supernatural hearing. bats?

"I'm going to talk to her tomorrow," he said quietly. "I didn't mean..." He folded his arms in front of him uncomfortably.

"Is this about the trip you and Michael are planning?" she asked with an arch of her brow.

Yup, Noah told himself as he gawked at his mother. She had superpowers.

"I want to know what's going on, Noah," she hissed. "And I expect to know now."

He frowned. "We're looking at schools." He watched her unsure if she believed him. He continued. "With everything that's happening...I didn't want you to worry about it."

"You're my son," she sighed. Did she believe him? "I've worried about you the day you were born... and every day after that. Especially that time, your sister tricked you into sticking a key into the electrical socket... or the time she convinced you to eat crayons...And then I worried about her when you sought revenge by double dog corndog or whatever daring her to jump out of her bedroom window when we lived in the Brownstone." She shook her head. "My worrying about you four is never going to go away."

He sighed and watched her knowing that he had to stick to this lie. "I just didn't... I don't want them to know..." Shelby narrowed her eyes and he went on. "Pop-Pop offered me a car if I look."

Shelby scoffed. "Wonderful," she pinched her brow together. She sighed and looked at her son. "So where are you looking at?" Noah looked over at his desk. "You can't cheat and look at what schools you've filled out, Noah."

He bit his lip. Damn, superbat hearing. He sighed. Rachel, he thought. "Johnson and Wales," he said quickly.

"In Florida?" she asked.

He nodded. "Yeah..." He thought for a moment. "And Syracuse."

She looked at him with a frown. "Those are very different schools, Noah."

"I know," he said with a frown. "I just...Rachel gives me all my mail. I'm getting all this stuff from schools and... I just don't know."

She watched him carefully. She sighed. She looked up and closed the door. "You better be actually applying for schools, Noah." she frowned. "Noah Leroy Corcoran!" He put his hands on his hips. "Look at me." He looked at his mother slowly. "Are you applying for schools or not? Because whatever you're up to..."

"I am, Mom," he said quickly. "I am." He pointed to the desk. "They're right there."

She frowned and looked through the papers. "Your essays are done."

"Was that a question?" He frowned. "Mom, I've been writing essays since I could write. That's the one thing actually know how to do." She continued to frown.

"Why exactly did you choose, 'Punching Is Not Constructive,' as your writing sample submission?" she asked. She sighed. "Noah, go to bed."

"Mom," he started.

"I love you but I suggest instead of coming up with another random and untrue explanation that you tell me the truth in the morning."

He sighed. "Mom," he started.

"No, Noah," she said gently. "I can help you, but you need to let me."

He sighed as she started out of the room. "Hey, Mom," he called. She stopped and looked at him with a sigh. "Can I please go to practice? I will ask Coach but please if she says yes, please let me. I'm going crazy here."

She watched him. "I'll see." She watched him carefully. She walked over to him and placed a gentle kiss on his head. "I love you, but you have to stop whatever you're doing." She cupped his face. "I mean it." He gave a gentle nod. "I'll call Coach Beiste as well as Sue tomorrow and -"

An ear piercing scream interrupted them.

Shelby felt her heart in her chest as she raced down the hallway. Oh God, she thought. He's in the house. She raced down the hallway to Rachel's room and then scolded herself as she reminded herself that Rachel was in Santana's room. She ran across the hall and flung the door open. Rachel was screaming in Santana's arms trying her best to push her away.

"No!No!NO!" Rachel sobbed. "Take it out!"

Santana looked at her mother in horror as Shelby conquered up her instincts to step into action.

"Rachel," she pleaded taking the girl in her arms.

Rachel continued to kick and push away. "I'll be good," she sobbed with her eyes squeezed shut. "I'm sorry. I'll be good!"

"Rachel, sweetie, wake up," Shelby begged. She rubed the girl's back. "I'm right here, bug. It's Mommy. Calm down. Wake up."

Shelby searched her eyes. She wasn't there. Fuck, she thought. Night terror? Rachel pushed against her and continued to sob, begging her to let her go.

"I want my mom," she sobbed pushing at Shelby. "Let me go! Please!"

Rachel squeezed her eyes shut and reopened them. She was terrified. She felt a body pinning her to the bed. She couldn't sit up as she was pushed onto her stomach. Her wrists were brought above her head while another hand pushed down her penguin pajama pants. She squirmed beneath him. Will Schuester kissed her neck as he ground her against the sheetless mattress with his hips.

"My good girl, I've missed you," he whispered inhaling deeply.

She sobbed into the naked mattress as her underwear was ripped off. "Iwantmymom," she sobbed.

Her body was slammed against the mattress and her head was forced up as he pulled her by her hair. "No one loves you, Rachel," he hissed into her ear. "Your family left you because you were too dirty and broken! Not worth picking up."

The door at the top of the stairs that she didn't notice before opened and she looked to see big boots descending. She knew those boots. She felt her legs being widened as the boots neared and the weight on top of her shift down. She looked up and let out a sob as the man in the boots stopped next to her.

"Hold still, Rachel," Hiram smiled. "Be a good girl."

For a short instant, she felt the weight on top of her disappear, but then that instant was over as something was shoved so deep within her she thought she was being ripped in two.

"Rachel," Shelby whispered closely to her ear. "Rachel. Rachel. Rachel." She continued to rub her back. "Honey, Mommy's right here. I need you to wake up."

Rachel began to calm her breathing. Shelby continued to murmur to her quietly. She looked over at Noah who stood at the door anxiously. "Noah, go grab her neb please." She turned and looked at Santana and cupped her eldest daughter's face with her free hand as she shifted and rocked Rachel. "It's alright, San," she whispered.

Shelby felt Rachel jump in her arms. She looked down with a gentle smile and continued to rock her.

"You're alright, bug," she said softly. She rocked her gently. "You're okay."

A few minutes later Rachel had the nebulizer on and Santana's arms protectively around her. She brought in a blanket for Noah because he had fallen asleep on the chair next to the girls. Shelby peaked in at Quinn to see that she was still sleeping. She pulled the blanket up around her and kissed her lightly, relieved to hear the blond girl snoring slightly.

Shelby sighed and made her way down to her bedroom. She changed for the night, washed her face and brushed her teeth. She crawled into her bed with a heavy sigh. She reached over to the empty left side of the bed. She bit her lip, wondering silently if anyone would ever fill that side. She pulled a couple pillows from the left side and wrapped her arms around it, satisfied with the substitute.

She closed her eyes with a sigh. Her eyes remained closed for approximately ten deep breaths before she was snapped awake. She could hear loud whimpers and struggling down the hallway. Fuck, she thought. He's in the house. He is here this time.

….

The door of her bedroom flew open. Quinn scrambled to the headboard of her bed as she watched her father come into the room followed by her mother and sister. She looked at them with wide eyes. She felt her body shake.

"Get up," he ordered.

She watched him as he began to untie his robe. She hurriedly crawled off the bed and over to him. She stood in front of him like she always did. However, her mother and sister had never been there. She couldn't read their faces they were like ghosts. He opened his robe revealing that he was only wearing his boxers underneath.

"Well," he said letting the robe drop. "You know what to do."

She looked at him and shook her head. She felt a stinging slap across her face forcing her vision to blur.

"I'm sorry," she muttered. He put his hand on the top of her head and pushed her to the floor so that she knelt in front of him.

"Take it," he barked.

With a trembling hand she pulled his shorts down and took his shaft in her hand.

"Now," he said slowly. "Show your mother and sister how much of a slut you really are." She looked up at him with horror. "Open up, Quinnie."

Quinn squeezed her eyes shut and opened her mouth hesitantly. He grabbed the back of her head roughly and forced his way in. As she screamed in protest all she heard was her mother laughing and Frannie calling her a whore.

"NO!" Quinn shot up in bed. She breathed desperately trying to catch her breath. Her door burst open and Shelby came running in.

The blonde girl jumped back on the top bunk and pushed herself into the corner of her bed. "Please," she begged suddenly. "I can't. I'm sorry. No more." Her words were stagnant but quick.

Shelby's heart broke with the fear in Quinn's eyes and the tremor in her voice.

"Quinn," she started.

"Please don't make me," Quinn said with a sob and a shake of her head.

Shelby took a deep breath. "Quinn, it's Shelby. You're safe. Look at me, darling." Quinn jumped slightly as her eyes softened. "It's just me," Shelby whispered.

The blonde girl continued to tremble but hurriedly wiped her mouth and chin. The feeling was still there but she didn't find any evidence on her hands. It was a dream. It was just a dream.

"Are you alright?" the mother asked quietly as the blonde continued to tuck herself in the corner of the bunk.

Quinn nodded hurriedly. "Will you stay with me?" she whispered. "I don't know if I can sleep but..."

"Of course," Shelby smiled. "Of course." She climbed up onto the double bed in the loft next to Quinn. "I'm glad we got you the bigger one," she smiled.

"You really didn't-"

"I wanted to," Shelby cut her off. She turned and looked at the ceiling managing to give the girl space as well as remain close to her. "Rachel tells me that you two have a little book club during these twilight hours."

The blonde frowned. "Yes," she muttered.

Quinn felt her chest heaving. That felt so real. It didn't even feel like a dream it felt as real as her time with Shelby right now. Her heart was beating so fast. She was exhausted but she felt safe next to her. She leaned back into Shelby with a quivering breath wondering if her life would continue like this.

Shelby frowned as she finally felt Quinn ease into sleep. What was going on? The girls had nightmare but they didn't wake up terrified like this. Her mind remained full until she finally surcomed to sleep.

….

Shelby woke up to a hand smacking her face. She opened one eye with a groan. Quinn had rolled over in the bed and the back of her hand was now on Shelby's face.

"Ouch," Shelby muttered. She slowly removed the hand and made her way out of the bed. She tucked Quinn back in and cut through the bathroom to Santana and Rachel's room but paused at her reflection. "Yuck," she mumbled. She grabbed a hair tie and pulled up her hair as she entered the bedroom. Rachel was still curled up in Santana's arms. Noah continued to rest in the chair. He held the nebulizer in his lap that he had clearly turned off but fell asleep before setting it down.

She sighed and looked at the clock. She sighed. Three. Two. One.

The alarm went off and Santana grumbled into Rachel's body.

"Wake up, guys," Shelby pushed. "Come on."

An hour later the older three were still getting ready as Shelby finished braiding Rachel's hair and kissed her lightly. "I like your hair like this, Rach," she smiled.

"Thanks," she muttered.

"Do you want to talk about your dream?" she asked quietly. "Fresh shower, new clothes on. Brand new day."

"If it's a brand new day, why do I have to talk about it?" Rachel asked as she leaned into her mother. "I like the new stuff better... the ointment..."

"Yeah?" Shelby asked.

Rachel nodded. "Mumma," she asked. Shelby looked at her softly. "He's gonna get me."

"What?" she asked with a frown.

"I can feel it... I know he will," she said.

Shelby shook her head. "That's not going to happen.. I won't let it."

"But I know it will happen," she muttered. "Last night felt so real."

Shelby brought Rachel's gaze up to her. "I will do everything I can to make sure that that doesn't happen." She paused. "It won't."

She teared up. "It might though," she said again. "What about Quinn's mom's funeral? I want to go to that. You'll let me right?"

Shelby sighed. "Well, we need to sort that out. It'll be a burial but … you would like to go?"

"More than anything. I can't not go just because of him. You know?…." She bit her lip. "I just...

"It's just what?" Shelby asked gently.

Rachel hesitated and played with her hands as she continued. "It's just...if... If he gets me, can you bury me in my pink dress?"

Shelby froze. She didn't know what to say to that. She had no words, and as she searched for a comforting statement, much to her heartbreak the eleven year old went on.

"And can Noah play the song?" she asked a little too casually. "And maybe Sanny can sing and -"

"Enough!" Shelby hissed. She took a deep breath and counted hurriedly to ten in her head. She cupped Rachel's face. "I am not planning your funeral. It's not going to happen." She felt a huge lump in her throat and her eyes fill with tears as she looked at her daughter's confused face. "I won't let it happen."

Rachel's bottom lip quivered. "But it will," she murmured.

"No!" Shelby scolded, feeling her own body tremble. She counted to ten again, but only made it to three when Rachel began to talk again.

"But he's going to, Mumma," she said desperately. "I feel it. He's going to take me down to a basement and he's going to -"

Shelby reached out and put her finger to Rachel's lips. Rachel continued to look at her confused. She felt terrible when he jumped at the snap of her voice "No. No. No. No." She took another breath. "Why do you think that?"

Rachel shrugged. "It's a feeling," she muttered. She thought for a moment and then her gaze looked up. "Like... remember at Starpower when they were going to announce the first overall winner for solos in the jazz category? It came down to me and Gwen Lockley and remember I told you afterwards that when I was standing on the stage just as they were about to announce the winner that I knew I was going to lose? And then I did! I just…had a feeling that I was going to lose, you remember?" She watched her mother nod slowly. "It's like that," Rachel whispered.

Shelby felt a lump in her chest. She couldn't tell her child about the bathtub or the rope or the electric saw or the nightmare she had when all of her children were dead. She just stared at Rachel with a frown. She didn't have anything say. What if she was right? What if it was impending? What if-

Thankfully, the doorbell rang. She took Rachel's hand.

"What's going on?" Rachel asked with a frown.

Shelby turned and looked at her. "I will know where you are at all times."

"Even in the house?" Rachel asked.

Shelby looked at her daughter who just explained her funeral arrangements. It broke her heart.

"Yes," Shelby said shortly. She continued to walk down the hallway. "Downstairs in ten minutes! I mean it!"

Santana watched Shelby and Rachel walk past with Quinn. "What's going on?" she asked.

Quinn shrugged.

"Ten minutes," Rachel whispered as her mother led her down the hallway. "I think I made her mad."

Shelby opened the door downstairs and her heart instinctively swelled. Two officers stood at her door.

"Who are you?" Rachel asked.

"We're your look out," a young officer smiled at Rachel, but his smile faded when he saw the mother's glare. "You have some guests. They're on the list though so..."

Elyse entered the house and handed Shelby a coffee. "Triple nonfat latte"

"You have no idea how much I needed this," Shelby sighed.

"Good God! You would think they would know who I am by now-" Joey said pushing toward the house. "Oooh coffee," Joey said pushing into the house, reaching for the coffee.

Shelby pulled the coffee. "No way," she said dryly.

"Fine," she hissed. "Hey bug," she smiled.

"Morning," she said. "I made her mad so I have to stay with her so you have to try to keep your swearing to a minimum."

Joey and Elyse watched Shelby carefully as the mother took a large gulp of the coffee with a heavy sigh and her eyes closed. She opened them at Rachel's words and looked at Elyse. "Yeah we should talk."

"And that's our queue, Rachel," Joey said leading Rachel into the kitchen. "I'll teach you how to make coffee."

"I'm supposed to stay with my mom," she said halting.

"We're sisters," Joey clarified. "I count as a substitute. Let's go." She turned toward the stairs. "Get your butts down here!"

"Joey," Shelby hissed.

"What?" Joey asked.

"You're not supposed to scream," Rachel reminded as she took Joey's hand. Her aunt looked at her with a frown. why was Rachel being so clingy. "Will I be able to have some?"

"Some what?" Joey asked.

"Coffee," Rachel answered.

"No," Shelby pushed as she watched Rachel walk into the kitchen.

"What's going on?" Elyse asked once they were out of sight.

"I need you talk to Rachel as well as Quinn," she sighed.

"I gathered that," the therapist said.

Shelby sighed and took another sip of her coffee. She stared at the cups for a few moments before she spoke.

"She told me what dress she wanted to be buried in this morning," she whispered.

"Oh, Shel," she said.

The woman went on. "She uh... told me she has a feeling. It's like she's accepted that she's going to get caught. She doesn't know all the details right now."

"Details?" Elyse asked.

Shelby shared a look with her. "He has plans." She heard the older three bound into the kitchen from the back stairwell and Joey talking to them about the importance of good coffee. "He's planning to kill her," Shelby trembled as her tears flowed. "And I've dreamt about it and then this morning... she's telling me what dress she wants to be buried in. I kinda lost it..." She looked at Elyse. "I don't know what to do..." The woman never looked so vulnerable. "Tomorrow, Quinn has to bury her mother," she continued quietly. "I need to be there for her. We all do. I should just focus on that right?" She shook her head. "I just... Things that scare me … she's talking about so casually." She looked at her co-worker. "What if it were one of your kids?"

Elyse sighed and looked at her own coffee. "If it were my kids, Shelby, I wouldn't be half as strong as you are." She sighed. "I get why you're stressed. However, you can't keep her glued to her your side the whole time. The house is guarded and secure. She needs to have some space. All of them do."

Shelby bowed her head. "The others don't know what he bought... or what he plans to do and they can't. They're already scared enough." She sighed and looked at her coffee cup. "I … I .. I can't bury my kids, Elyse."

The woman nodded. "I know."

Shelby wiped her eyes and took a deep breath. "Okay. I know we originally planned for you just to talk to Santana and Quinn, but I really need you to talk to Rachel too."

Elyse nodded. "Okay. I can clear my schedule." She searched her friend's eyes. "What about you and Noah?"

She frowned. "There's someone that I want Noah to see but..." She paused. "Crap, I need to go help him pick out a car and I'm not sure-"

"Do that today," Elyse pushed. "Get out of the house. The girls will be safe with me and Joey. Just...get away from this and spend some time with your son."

Shelby looked at her. She could hear Santana and Quinn arguing with Joey about something. She sighed. "I … I'm not..."

"You are," Elyse pushed. "Get out of the house. They'll be fine."

Shelby entered the kitchen with her game face on.

"Mom, this is dumb," Rachel whined again as Santana and Noah continued to clean up from breakfast and Quinn and Rachel continued to sit and "eat."

"It's not dumb," Santana warned. She pointed to the chart that was freshly printed from that morning.

Rachel looked at her with a signature frown.

"You need to," a new voice said entering the kitchen. Holly smiled. "Your guards let me in."

Santana frowned and looked at Holly. "Are we going to wait to start with Rachel and Quinn?" Holly nodded as she sat her things down at the table. Santana arched her brow and looked at Rachel. "Take your time please."

"Nice try," Shelby said quietly. "Finish this up or double for lunch."

Holly looked at Rachel and Quinn. "Eat it or write a ten page essay about nutrition AND eat double at lunch."

Rachel looked at Quinn. "Is she serious?"

Quinn watched Holly carefully. "She doesn't look like she jokes. Ever."

Shelby looked at Holly carefully and pulls her aside. "Could you possibly do private tutoring with them today? Work quietly with each of them on a separate assignment?"

Holly looked at her carefully. "Sure," she said finally.

"I'm taking Noah after lunch to look for cars and the girls will be going in and out of therapy, but they will need someone to help keep them on track when they get out."

She nodded. "Sure. They all have plenty of work to do."

Shelby nodded and leaned forward a little more. "I need you to keep an eye on them. Anything out of the ordinary you will let me know?"

"You got it, boss," Holly nodded. "I saw on the news this morning that they're still looking for Shitster." Shelby looked at her with a confused frown. "Schuester," she whispered.

Shelby nodded getting a light glint of fear in her eyes. "That face right there," Holly continued. "Reel that in. If you're scared, she's going to be petrified."

Shelby nodded. "Yeah," she muttered. "Okay."

…..

Quinn walked into the study with her hand on her stomach. She sighed when she saw Elyse standing at the closet rustling through the games.

"I feel as if you're the lesser of two evils," Quinn said sitting down heavily.

Elyse frowned slightly. "Thanks?..." She pulled out a few card games and checkers. "Pick your poison."

"We're playing games today?"

The woman nodded. "Yeah, if that's okay with you."

Quinn chose Uno and began to shuffle the cards. "I don't know what you want me to say. I know you need to be here by law or whatever, but... I don't know what you want me to say."

Elyse nodded. "I want you to say what you want to say," the woman said quietly.

"I don't want to say anything," Quinn said sharply as she began to deal.

Elyse drew the card and began to play. "There is no right or wrong way to 'deal,' Quinn."

The blonde frowned and took her turn as she discarded. "I'm afraid of what this means for me... for us. What it means for my family... for my life... and who I am... What does it change you know? Everything? Anything?"

Elyse nodded. "What are you afraid it means?"

Quinn held her cards carefully. "I'm afraid that I'll be them..." She avoided the woman's eyes. "Because I'm... I'm happy. I think." She narrowed her eyes. "But I don't know. I don't really feel anything."

"Can I ask you something?" Elyse offered. "You don't have to answer it now but I want you to think about it. Maybe write about it in that sketchbook that you have yet to show me but Rachel keeps chatting about."

Quinn rolled her eyes. She needed to hide that notebook. "What's your question?"

"Do you have any good memories about your family?"

Quinn paused and looked at the woman. "What do you mean good?"

"Maybe ones that don't scare you or ones that don't leave you angry or -"

Quinn looked at her carefully. "I don't really want to tell you my good memories," she said carefully.

"Why not?"

"Because …" she mumbled. "It makes my life look even more pathetic."

Elyse watched her carefully as the girl picked up a card and discarded another. "Why would you think that I would think you're pathetic."

"Because I am," she said simply. She shrugged and shook her head. "I mean look at my life..." She shook her head. "How can I not be?"

Elyse looked at her. "You're not. Certainly not to me or anyone in this family, your family now."

Quinn sighed. "Don't say that."

"Say what?"

She chewed her lip. "That they're my family."

"They're not?"

"They're the closest thing to family that I'll ever have," she said honestly staring at her cards to avoid her eyes.

"Okay," Elyse said.

Quinn continued to look at her cards. "I don't want to jinx it."

Elyse nodded. They played a few turns in silence.

Suddenly Quinn began to speak. "If I tell you something, will you promise not to tell Shelby?"

Elyse looked at her. "I can't promise that if it's hurtful to you."

Quinn looked at her two cards left in her hand. "When people tell me that my mom is dead," she said quietly. "I have to remind myself that Shelby's fine."

She brought her hazel eyes up slowly to look at Elyse.

The woman smiled. "You don't need to feel guilty about that, Quinn."

She bit her lip. "But I do," she whispered. "I don't know at what point I started thinking of her as my mom, but …." She shrugged. "In my head she is." She shook her head. "Don't tell her."

Elyse nodded. "Alright."

"Uno," Quinn said holding up her last card.

Elyse smiled as Quinn took her last turn. "Looks like you win."

….

Rachel bounced her leg at the table. "I'm finished," she called to Holly.

Brittany, Santana, and Noah looked at Rachel with a frown.

"Are you giving her less work than us?" Santana asked with a frown.

"Santana," Shelby said from her computer. "Mind your own business."

"Actually, I've given her extra work," Holly said with a frown as she looked through the work. She asked with a confused scowl. "You did your book report already?"

Rachel nodded. "Yes," she muttered. "I had time."

"And when did you have time to read a book?" Santana asked. "You don't read before bed and -"

"Well... I..." Rachel looked at her family as she fanned her book.

Shelby looked up from her computer. "Did you get up last night, Rachel?" she asked pointedly.

Santana laughed. "No, she was with me, Mom." She looked at Rachel and her smile faded. "Right?" She searched her sister's eyes.

"I … I didn't last night," she said quietly.

Brittany watched as Santana's face fell.

"What?" the brunette asked.

"We will talk about this later, Rachel," Shelby warned as they continued their work.

Joey peeked up from her laptop. "She won't be doing work this afternoon," she said simply.

"Why not?" Rachel asked turning in her chair.

"Because you're napping," Shelby said casually. "Both you and Quinn. You woke up last night and you need your rest."

"But how will I sleep tonight?" she asked with a frown.

"You'll manage," Joey pushed.

Quinn wandered into the room with a frown and sat next to Rachel.

"How was it?" she asked quietly.

The blonde just shrugged.

"Rachel, are you ready?" Elyse called from the door.

Rachel frowned at her mother and slipped off of the stool and went to her. "Is this because of what I said this morning?" she asked quietly, but Noah and Quinn looked at the two because of the statement. Brittany watched Santana carefully as she frowned at her own work, hung over with a heavy gaze. "I didn't mean to make you upset," Rachel whispered.

"Just go to therapy, Rachel," Santana said heavily, still looking at her paper.

"Are you mad at me?"

Brittany watched Santana carefully. "San," she said quietly.

The sixteen year old took a deep breath and turned to face Rachel. "I'm not mad."

She felt Elyse's eyes on her. She did not want to talk to that woman today, but she knew it was on the schedule. She softened and looked at Rachel.

There's that look, Quinn frowned. There was that look, that Rachel look, the Rachel-needs-bright-and-shiny-things smile. She rolled her eyes and pretended to be caught up in her work.

"I'm not mad," she muttered to Rachel. She kissed her softly. "Go do your thing," she said with a shrug.

"Kay," Rachel muttered.

Santana watched Rachel disappear out of the room with a frown. She jumped when she felt a hand on hers. She looked over and gave her a small smile. She could feel the room's eyes on her. She turned and went back to her work. "I'm fine."

…..

Rachel sat down across from Elyse. "I didn't mean to make her upset," she said quickly.

Elyse gave her a small smile. "It's alright." She laid out some markers and colored pencils. "I thought we'd color today."

"Kay," Rachel said quietly as she knelt down at the coffee table. She began to color quietly.

"What are you going to draw today?" Elyse asked as she began to color.

Rachel shrugged and continued to color. "I don't know." She frowned. "I made my mom upset this morning."

"Why do you say that?" she asked as she watched Rachel color some trees and and a city in a background.

"I told her that I wanted to be buried in my pink dress..." she said casually.

"Rachel, why do you think you need to tell her that?" she asked.

"Because I don't want want her wondering what to do," she said thoughtfully. She looked at her with a frown. "When my Nanny Pierce died - well, she wasn't really my Nanny, she was Brittany's-but I remember that they all were stressed out because they didn't know the details. Like what she should wear and stuff." She shrugged. "I just want my mom to know."

Elyse nodded as Rachel continued to color. "But why do you think she should know? Do you think you're going to die soon?"

"Yeah," she said quietly.

"Why do you think that?" she asked with a frown.

Rachel stopped coloring and looked up, thoughtfully. "He knows stuff about us. He's really smart. I hear my mom talking-"

"About what?"

Rachel shrugged. "She's worried. There are more policemen outside. I don't think she thinks that I've noticed." She continued to color casually. She paused, but didn't look up. "When I …. when I saw him last he... he said..." she looked up tearfully. "Everything was my fault."

"Like what?"

She shook her head. "I don't want to talk about this anymore."

"Okay," she said.

She continued to color. She frowned. "I just … I'm scared."

"That's okay," Elyse assured.

"I just want my mom to be prepared. I don't don't want her to be sad." She looked at Elyse as she continued to color. "I know that she's sad but pretends not to be... We do that to her." She frowned and continued to color. "I just want her to move on..."

"I don't think that she would ever get over you, Rachel, that she would ever not be sad," she said quietly and gently.

Rachel frowned and continued to color. "There," she said. "I'm done." She showed her the picture. It was a picture of a graveyard on a hill overlooking a city.

"What's this?" Elyse asked.

"My dad is buried here in New York. Do you think my mom would bury me next to him?" She looked at her hopefully. "I don't remember it a lot... but …. I Googled it. This is how I picture it in my head."

Elyse licked her upper lip and took a deep breath wondering how hard this must be for Shelby if her own heart was caught in her chest. "Rachel, I want you to do something for me."

"Okay." She smiled.

"I want you to write down five things that scare you most and why," she said softly.

"I have more than five things," she said quietly.

"Well, try to narrow it down to your top five, and we'll talk about it," she nodded. She began to slowly pick up with Rachel. "I want to ask you something, Rachel, and be honest. Okay?" Rachel nodded. "Do you think you deserve this Rachel? Do you want him to catch you?"

Rachel looked at her hands. "It's not that I want to..." she whispered.

"What is it then?" she frowned.

Rachel shrugged. "This whole town talks about me." She looked at her hands. "They didn't think I heard but... someone called me,... 'dirtier than trash.'" She frowned. "I wish for princes and happy endings... or I used to... But I don't anymore...I think this is just how my story will end..." She frowned. "It's just...fate..."

Elyse took her hand. "Rachel, nothing is sealed in stone." She sighed. "Can I tell you what I think?" Rachel nodded. "I think that maybe you want him to get you because moving on is scarier."

Rachel looked at her with big eyes as they began to pool. "It shouldn't be scarier...Should it?" She chewed her lip. "Am I a bad person?"

"No," she said. "Not at all, honey."

"Can I see my mom?" Rachel asked quietly.

"Absolutely," Elyse smiled.

Santana watched as Elyse called Shelby into the study. She peaked around the corner into the study and watched as Rachel wrapped her arms around her mother's neck in a hug. She frowned and turned back to the kitchen.

"Hey," Brittany whispered from behind her. "Talk to me." she pulled her into the front living room.

Santana shook her head. "It's nothing."

"It doesn't look like nothing," she muttered. She took Santana's hand.

"I'm just... I'm tired," she whispered.

"Can I guess?" Brittany asked quietly.

Santana gave a small nod. "Sure." She chuckled.

"You're upset because Rachel slipped out of your arms while you were sleeping," Brittany said slowly. "Literally and figuratively."

The brunette chuckled. "What are you talking about?"

"You guard that girl like she's going to war," she whispered. "Every time she does something that you don't expect you kinda freak out."

Santana teared up. "Can I tell you why I do that? Why I watch her? Why I …."

"You don't have to," she smiled. "Seriously."

"No, I want to," she muttered. "I want you to get it."

"I don't need all the pieces to get you," she said softly still holding her hand. "I just... I just need you to talk to me when you feel this way. Don't leave me in the dark."

"I don't mean to," she whispered.

"I know you don't," Brittany said holding her cheek.

"My dad died," she whispered slowly. "He left us with his husband, Hiram...or at least that's what I thought for a long time...It … it took me a long time to change my mind." She looked at Brittany tearfully. "He …. I had to do things with him."

"San," she whispered leaning her forehead against the crying girl. She cupped her face. "I will still love you. I am here."

"No, you..." she stuttered. "You need to know..." She looked at her. "It's like buying a new car. You need to know when what you're buying has a bad carburetor or weak brake pads or... "

"Santana, you're not a crappy car," she said gently.

She wiped her tears when she heard her mother's voice draw nearer. "I feel like it," she muttered.

She finished wiping her tears as her mother walked past the living room with Rachel in her arms. Shelby set Rachel down and whispered something in her ear sending her into the kitchen. The mother went into the living room and sat across from the girls.

"You alright?" she asked quietly.

Santana shrugged. "I'm fine."

Shelby looked at Brittany. "Could you give us a moment please, Brittany?"

"Sure," she nodded. As she prepared to walk away she kissed Santana softly on the cheek.

Santana watched Brittany leave with a heavy heart. Shelby stood and sat next to her quietly as she wrapped her arm around her. "You need talk to Elyse, honey." Santana looked at her hands. "I would love to listen if you want to talk to me."

"I'm fine, Mom," she whispered.

"You're not, San," she muttered. "I see you ready to explode. Please?"

Santana looked up as Elyse waited at the door. She looked at her mother with a frown. "No amount of talking about it will make it better," she muttered.

"It might," Shelby said kissing her softly on her temple.

Santana nodded and walked into the study. Shelby walked slightly in front of her. Elyse began to clean up the coloring and the papers. The woman tried her best to hide the picture, but it was too late. Shelby saw it. Santana was still looking down at her manicured hands.

"Go into the kitchen for a quick sec," Shelby said.

Elyse turned the picture over to her chest just as Santana looked up.

"Why?" she asked.

"Please," Shelby said quickly.

Santana nodded and Shelby shut the door behind her. The mother walked over, pulled the picture from her and sat down heavily. She frowned when she saw her daughter's picture. "Do you have any idea what Santana would have done if she saw this?"

Elyse frowned. "Yes," she muttered. "I'm sorry. I -"

"No, this cannot happen. They need to trust you and if Santana saw this she would have lost it." She shook her head. "I'm losing it..." She glared at her friend. "Please, don't be so careless. I know you are doing me a huge favor but... I cannot explain to my sixteen year old daughter that her baby sister is planning her funeral."

Elyse nodded. "Alright, I'm sorry."

"I know," Shelby said. "I'm sorry, too."

She sighed. "I'm sorry."

Shelby nodded and looked at the picture. "I know I'm putting a lot of faith in you to help my girls.. my family, but I need to trust you."

"Okay," she nodded. "I know."

She sighed. "I'll bring Santana back in in a couple minutes. Please make sure that is hidden in your bag."

She nodded.

Santana walked into the room with skeptical eyes. "What did you do to piss my mom off?" she asked as she sat heavily in the chair.

Elyse retrieved checkers from the closet.

"I'm not playing a game with you," she said quickly. "I'm just here to talk. I don't want to tip toe around it."

Elyse nodded. "What would you like to talk about?"

She shrugged and folded her arms tightly in front of her. "Do you think that people mean what they say?"

Elyse looked at her with a frown. "Well, I think that words sometimes don't properly articulate what people want to say. Why do you ask?"

She shook her head at the topic. "Did you know that my sister doesn't sleep? That she just... she slips out at night..."

"Does that scare you?"

She scoffed. "Of course, it does." She blinked back tears. "I'm just... She just slips away when I'm not looking..."

"That's scary," Elyse agreed.

"Yeah, especially with a psycho on the loose," she muttered. she looked at Elyse honestly. "I don't want to talk to you."

"Is there someone you would rather talk to?"

"Yes," she whispered staring at the floor. "Can I just talk to Brittany?"

Elyse frowned and watched her carefully. "What do you want to tell her?"

"I don't know," she whispered. "But I don't want her to leave me...but I don't want to hold her back."

"Why do you think you do that?" she asked.

"Because there's better and …. I don't know," she said with a shrug.

"Okay," Elyse said casually. "I'll make a deal with you." The girl looked at her with a frown. "I'll get Brittany in here and you can talk, I'll sit over there and not say a word... and then we'll talk without her."

Santana nodded. "Okay..."

She sat in the study quietly looking at her hands as Brittany entered.

"You got me out of doing my work," she said with a smile. "Thanks." She sat on the couch next to her. "What's up?" She eyed the woman in the corner.

"I um... We didn't get to finish with what we were saying before," she muttered.

Brittany shrugged. "We can wait. I told you that there's no rush."

"I want to tell you," she said quietly. She bit her lip and looked at the blond with a deep breath. "So you know what you're getting into..."

Brittany smiled. "San, I've known you're unique and … feisty... since the day I met you and you lined the living room with socks so that my sister would fall while she chased you in crutches." She smiled. "I don't think you're damaged..."

She frowned. "I promise you that you have no idea what you're getting into..."

"That might be true, but like I said before I just need you to talk to me. Not necessarily about how you got here but just …. what you're feeling now..." She looked at her and looked uncomfortably at Elyse.

"But I think that's important," she whispered. "I … I adore you... and I just...I don't understand what we are a lot of the time and I …. I'm scared about going to school...and I don't know what it means to be... to be … me..." She frowned. "I want to be more put together for you."

Brittany smiled tearfully. "You're always enough for me. You just never let me in..."

Santana felt her breath hitch in her chest. "I … I lived in one of my father's old studios with a crazy bastard for about two months..." She felt her breathing continue to hitch in her chest. "He did... stuff to me and Rachel... and...then... my brother broke out one night and we were rescued..." She stuck her tongue in her cheek to control her tears. "Then we went into the system because they had to check that my mom was okay to take us." She looked down at her hands. "Then when Noah and I went back to school... we got into so many fights that we were eventually expelled..." She frowned. Brittany suddenly reached out and took her hand. Santana felt a sob release from her mouth. "I … I don't know how to tell you …. what happened when I lived with him..." she whispered. "I'm so ...I'm so ashamed... but... Rachel took the brunt of it … I just..." Her voice trembled. "When you get to know me more, you won't find better parts of me...It'll just get more complicated..."

"I find that hard to believe," Brittany said quietly.

"It just... It gets bigger and scarier and harder... and I …." Santana looked at her tearfully. "I need you to walk away now... because... I … I don't want to lose you later."

"Santana, I'm here to stay," Brittany said. "I know we're only sixteen but... I would never leave you because of you..."

Santana laughed tearfully. "That doesn't make sense."

"Well, I don't know how else to say it, but I'll continue saying it."

Santana looked at her and took a deep breath. "No one in this world knows me like you do...I want to tell you my secrets." She frowned and looked at her hands. "Not telling you … now more than ever... makes me feel really far from you." Her voice trembled. "I …. his name is Hiram and … he had this room in the studio that he always brought me and Rach..." She bit her lip and shook her head. "But... he brought Rachel there a lot … a lot more than me and..." She frowned. "I just went in there five times..." She frowned. "I want to tell you but I …."

"But, you don't have to," Brittany said pulling her into a hug. "You'll tell me someday and I'll still be here when someday comes around." She pulled away and looked at her quietly. "You're still you to me, with or without an explanation." She frowned. "You know why?"

Santana scoffed. "Why?"

"My Nanny told me when she was alive something about you that always stuck," Brittany said with a smile.

Santana frowned. "What?"

"She said that you had old eyes and that things had happened that probably explained you but that you never let it excuse you." Santana frowned. "You never let what happened to you be your scape goat. I know that it probably changed you...but I really love the person you are. What happened," she shrugged. "What ever it is, made you who you are. I'm grateful for that... in a weird way. Does that make sense? You don't let it … be an excuse for your behavior even though it may explain who you are."

Santana looked at her carefully. "When did she tell you that?"

Brittany smiled. "When you moved here," she said quietly. "I don't want to be a cliche, but I think I've loved forever... in some way shape or form. I just wished that you love you like I love you."

The brunette sighed and took Britany hand. "Okay." She looked at her hand with a sigh. "Okay." She walked Brittany back to the kitchen in silence. Brittany was looking at her with pause as she watched her not so subtly from the corner of her eye. "Hey," Santana pulled her back suddenly before she stepped into the kitchen.

"Yeah?" she asked as she looked back at her.

"I love you, too," she whispered with a smile as she led her into the kitchen.

This chapter did not end and go in the directions that I planned... AT ALL... I hope you enjoyed it.