Chapter 2
A week after Arlie arrived on Coruscant, she stands in the council chamber watching as Xanatos, Qui-Gon and Dooku all walk into the room and stand in the centre in front of the councillors.
"I come before this council requesting that I be reassigned to a new Master." Xanatos says knowing that it has to be the Padawan to request it. The effect is instantaneous, the council sputtering and floundering as Mic and Mace share a completely shocked look, Arlie feels surprised but looking at the three of them she understands their plan.
"Trust them Master, they have something genius in mind." Mace looks at her questioningly before nodding.
"I assume there is a reason there are three of you present?" Mace asks losing his sputter at his Padawan's encouraging words.
"Yes, Master Windu, I wish to take Padawan Xanatos as my own to complete his training. It is a belief shared between the three of us that my former Padawan is not the right person to do so. He has done a fine job but we believe they are no longer quite suited and believe I may do a better job at helping Xan understand our ways." Dooku tells them grateful for Mace getting to the point, everyone is a little surprised that Dooku called Xanatos Xan, everyone except Mace and Arlie who have heard it before. Thinking more on it, Mace isn't at all surprised and might even agree with the assessment.
"Believe this you do Qui-Gon Jinn?" Yoda asks morosely.
"I do, I may not like the idea of giving up my Padawan but it is the duty of a Master to put what is best for their Padawan's future and learning above their own desire to do it alone." Qui-Gon says with a sad smile, Arl looks proudly at them, this may not have been what she was expecting, but it meant she may get her way on quite a few things. If she played her cards right, Qui-Gon may yet be able to take Obi as his Padawan, the problem then is Anakin. She obviously isn't going to let Qui die but then who takes her Ani? Will Qui-Gon do it as he once planned? She hoped he wouldn't so easily shove her step-brother aside even if it meant making way for her other brother. In any case she would worry about it later, for now she smiles encouragingly at the three men standing before her.
"A noble sentiment that is Qui-Gon, the council agrees. May the force be with you all." Master Mundi says, Arlie clearly remembers the moment she found out Ki had died, he was the first among the council to die and she still felt responsible for it. She still felt responsible for a lot of things.
That night Arlie has the same dream she's been having for nineteen years and wakes up gasping.
"Shit, if Xan is with Dooku will he fall faster or slower? Gods, I just handed my once fallen friend to the man I once knew as his murderer. No, no, Arlie don't do that to yourself, there is only so much you can do and you've meddled enough on this. Just keep an eye on it and for the sake of all the kriffing gods stop talking to yourself!" She aggressively hisses to herself. (But what if that's what dream Obi means? That she knew it would happen and did nothing again, what if he means Xan falling? But if that were true then it won't happen until she's on the council except…except the future is always in motion.)
Knowing she would get no more sleep, Arlie goes out onto the balcony to meditate, something she found she could do to new levels, could see everything through the eyes of the force and feel every life form on Coruscant. She'd always known that the Jedi knew very little about communing with the force but this was an intensity she had never even imagined. She spared a single moments thought to whether her almost death and subsequent 'time travel' had anything to do with it before she allowed herself to be lost in the new sensations and follow the flow of the force.
A few hours later Arlie came back to the balcony utterly confused, it took a few agonizingly long moments for her to remember all that had happened and realise when and where she was if not how.
"Impressive that was." Yoda tells her, she had known he was there and was not startled however she was confused about his presence.
"It is an honour to get such praise from you Master Yoda." Arlie tells him determined to get along better with the little troll, she was well aware that the hatred she felt was not directed at this version of him and was too well trained to allow it to influence how she interacted with him now. She decided she could be as angry as she liked so long as it didn't affect how she did her job.
"Hmm, for you I think not so much. Mastery of the Force such skill shows, impossible that should be yet witnessed it I have." Yoda tells her still the embodiment of calm serenity, an aura and expression she knew she also possessed. It was as fake on him as it was on her, she knew him far too well to fall for it.
"You fear me." She says, it's not a question nor a statement but a simple truth hanging in the air around them, yet it was not quite right.
"Fear you I do not, concerned about what it means I am. Wrong am I to do so?" Yoda questions as he sits in front of her, both in the lotus position. She could sense her Masters in the living room, probably discussing her, Terza was there as well.
"You are concerned for your family, your Kin, of course you are not wrong to do so, but perhaps your concern is not based on protectiveness so much as fear for what you do not understand. That is a dangerous habit to fall into Master, you may one day end up fearing that which could save us all." Arlie tells him, he gives her a considering look.
"Many years of practice it would take to meditate as you have. Many years more would it take to master the skills in the force you have. Discipline you show, yet discipline you have not learnt, possible it must be, but how?" Yoda asks, she smiles kindly at him.
"Master Yoda, I will answer your question if you answer one of mine." She tells him after several minutes of debate, he nods for her to continue. "Where do you recognise me from?" She asks, he smiles at her.
"At a stalemate we are, ready for that you are not, ready for your answer perhaps I am not either. One day though, be ready we will. An explanation the others will require." She looks thoughtful for a while.
"I'll tell them the truth, I tried to meditate and the force carried me away."
Five weeks later Mace wakes up to find Arlie eating breakfast as Micah makes tea in the kitchen, he looks questioningly at his Padawan who shrugs.
"He was here when I got up." She tells him, he looks in dismay at the permanently open door and wonders why they don't just take it off.
"Oh, finally Mace, I need to tell you both something." Micah says sounding very excitable.
"What is it Mic?" Mace asks as he all but inhales the tea Mic gives him, Arlie drinks it at a much more sedate pace but raises an eyebrow at Micah as she does.
"I'm going to take a Padawan. He's the initiate that blew a hole in the crèche with the force." Mic tells them, Mace drops his head onto the table, it was too early to deal with his friend's particular brand of logic.
"How did that event make you decide he would make a good padawan?" Mace questions.
"Because he lied about it, I don't know what actually happened but I do know that he lied to several different Jedi masters to protect his friend." Micah tells them, Arlie remembers this story. Bant had been punished three times already for scaring the crap out of people, several incidents had already occurred because of it. She'd done it again resulting in Garen blowing up the crèche wall, he knew there'd be serious consequences for her this time so he lied and said he'd had a fit of rage. No one had really believed him so he'd gotten in trouble for lying as well as the hole and the loss of emotional control. Bant had never scared anyone again. Micah never actually got told what happened that day, Arl hopes he does this time, years from now when they can all look back and laugh. Assuming they are alive, abort train of thought, ABORT TRAIN OF THOUGHT!
"Certainly a good place to start working from." Arlie muses, the two Jedi Masters look at her confused. They are gradually getting used to her doing and saying weird shit but it had only been four weeks. "Well Jedi are supposed to protect people, right? A lot of thirteen-year-old kids wouldn't have done that, it's quite promising that he naturally wants to protect people because you have a solid grounding for further education and growth. Plus, if he wants to protect people he has a good drive to do exactly as Jedi should." She tells them, they both decide to stop being surprised when she pulls this crap.
"Hang on how did you know how old he was?" Micah asks, Arlie is unsurprised but still impressed when she doesn't miss a beat.
"I'm a council padawan Master, I know as much about what happened as you both do." She replies matter of factly.
"Fair point." Micah replies.
"Well it sounds like it'll be one hell of a… training… bonding…" Mace says stumbling as he can't think of the correct word, Arlie bites the inside of her cheek to keep from smiling before opening her mouth.
"A hell of a padawanship indeed." She says.
"Oh padawanship, I like that." Micah jumps on board immediately.
"Arlie why do you have to give him ideas?" Mace whines, Arlie is struck with a sudden and intense feeling of longing and homesickness. She loved it here but it wasn't the same, she wants her family back even though she knows she doesn't have them in her future anyway. She just couldn't accept that she'd never see them again. Though if she learnt one thing from her other life it's that if she can't accept something, she may not need to. After all, Xanatos had died while on her side, he was the first thing she had had trouble accepting her entire life despite everyone telling her she had to. No, she would not give up hope, she would see them again someday, she knew it.
Later that day they went through the ceremony as before and then went to meet the new Padawan.
"Congratulations Padawan Muln." Mace says, he knows who Garen is this time since he was involved with the crèche hole incident instead of taking care of her.
"Thank you Master Windu." He replies bowing respectfully.
"Garen this is Master Windu's Padawan, Arl Aa." Micah introduces, the Padawan's bow to each other.
"That's a pretty name." He tells her, she smiles fondly at him glad he still likes the name he gave her.
"Thank you Padawan Muln." She replies, he smiles.
"Please, call me Garen."
"Arl."
"What do you think Arl?" Mace asks, looking up she realises that she and Garen missed part of a conversation.
"Sorry, would you please repeat the question?" Arlie requests, Micah smirks while Mace gives her a patient smile that makes her want to throttle him again.
"Mic was inviting us to their place for the welcoming dinner. Qui-Gon, some initiates, Master Tahl." Mace tells her.
"And Xanatos, no Dooku though. He was invited but it's not really his kind of thing." Micah tells them.
"You're relieved about that aren't you?" Arlie whispers though it's more statement than question.
"A little bit, he always puts me on edge. Couldn't exactly invite Xan without his Master though, I still can't believe they did that." Mic says not looking disapproving but surprised.
"You do have to admit though that Xan is doing extraordinarily well since the change." Mace says, "And Dooku isn't so bad."
"Yes, I heard you guys were spending a lot of time with those three, something about raucous laughter in the commissary." Mic says smiling, he might not have gotten on well with Dooku but he was glad the man was socializing and that Qui-Gon was getting along with his Master.
"He has some interesting stories. I don't think I'll ever see Corellia the same way." Mace says with a smile, Arl snickers.
That night Arlie and her Master arrive slightly late.
"Did you forget how to knock on a door since you never use yours?" Micah teases after Garen led them inside.
"Why would we be knocking on our own door anyway?" Arlie asks as he pulls her into a hug.
"Fair point, but you should still use your door."
"And you should use your head." Arl says earning a tug on her braid from him as he smiles at her.
"Master Tahl, this is Padawan Aa." Mace introduces as Tahl walks over.
"Master." Arl says bowing.
"Padawan, a pleasure to meet you, Mic and Qui have told me a lot about you."
"Well I promise I'm actually a nice person no matter what they've said." Arl tells her with a smile that is reflected back at her.
Later, after being introduced to all the initiates and once again having the most awkward introduction ever between Xan and Garen, Arlie sees Bant watching Tahl look out the window.
"You should go talk to her." Arl tells Bant who looks at her in surprise.
"What would she want to talk to me for?" Bant replies sadly, Arl smiles at her.
"Well, if your worth your friend taking sole responsibility for the crèche hole incident, I think your worthy of talking to your idol."
"How do you know about that?"
"I know a lot of things I shouldn't, but don't worry, my lips are sealed. You should still talk to her." Bant bites her tongue before nodding.
"Yeah, you're totally right." Bant says before walking over to the Master in question and starting up a conversation.
"What is it with you and getting people with their correct Master?" A voice says behind her, she turns to face him.
"Hello Saviour." She tells him, it both hurting and feeling wonderful to say, she knew no amount of meditation would get rid of that and she wouldn't want to.
"Hello Arlie." He replies smiling gently.
"How is your padawanship going?" She forgot that that's no longer a common term.
"Padawanship?"
"There was no correct term so I made one." He smiles.
"Is there any problem you can't solve?" He asks as he leans against the wall beside her, she smiles.
"A great many I'm afraid, but unsolvable problems just mean more growth, nothing is truly unsolvable. Some things just require more to be learnt."
"Has anyone ever mentioned that you sound like Yoda except talking to right way around?"
"It has come up in conversation." The two laugh at that, Arl smiles as she sees Garen coming up holding drinks for the three of them.
"So, anyone else noticed Obi and Master Jinn talking in the corner there." He asks, Xan looks over surprised, Arlie just sniggers into her cup.
"I'm getting the feeling that Tahl and I are not the only ones receiving your particular brand of help." Xanatos says looking at her accusingly she smiles innocently.
"I think they'll be good for each other." Garen says.
"That's if he takes him as his Padawan." Xan points out, "I hope he does, Master Dooku and I have a mission in three days and I've been a little concerned about leaving Master Qui-Gon alone. I think he's lonely."
"Think there's anything we can do to help them along?" Garen asks, Arl is quite impressed with how well the two are getting along. It's an odd group, an eighteen-year-old senior Padawan, a thirteen-year-old new Padawan and a seven-year-old Padawan new to the entire order, but so long as neither fall again she's not caring how it looks.
"We can't interfere." Arlie says earning two accusing looks. "More than I already have, I got them talking. They need to make the decision just as Bant and Master Tahl do. Just as you had to Xan, all I did was start the conversation and give my opinion."
"Yes, but your opinion is always right." Xanatos says with Garen nodding in agreement, Arl thinks it's odd that she and Garen only met today. She didn't notice the first time around but they're already acting like they've known each other for years and thinking back they did when she first met him as well.
"Yes, well that's beside the point." They are quiet for a moment as they watch the two pairs talking happily.
"So, I can't help but notice you avoiding Bellan and Reeft." Garen says, she fights back a wince, "Do you not like them or something?"
"It's not that, they just remind me of two people I used to know and had a very bad experience with. But that is not their fault and I do realise that, it just caught me by surprise." Garen and Xanatos exchange looks over her head that they think she doesn't notice. "Point is, I'm not holding it against them and will endeavour to not avoid them."
"I'd appreciate that." Garen says, the two smile at each other making Xanatos frown, Arlie recalls something one of her Masters once said to her.
"I used to watch the way you, Garen and Xan would interact and laugh, we knew then that one day something would happen between either you and Garen or you and Xan, Mace just refuses to see it happening."
"I was 8! How could Xan have thought of me that way at all?"
"He wasn't an idiot, he could see past your physical age and knew there was more within, that's what he cared for."
(I think I can see where he was coming from now. Gods I miss him, I never should have left Tatooine.)
That face is haunting her, hunting her, it is her. 'You should never have come back!' She yells.
Arlie just stops herself from hyperventilating as a flash of her dream fills her mind. (Gods dammit I was really hoping that would stop.)
Three days later Arlie was in the hanger seeing off Dooku and Xanatos, honestly terrified. This was the mission that Xanatos fell on, what if Dooku made it worse? What if he straight up kills Xan when Qui-Gon couldn't? What if nothing she has done was enough to save him?
"Arlie!" Xan calls as he jogs over, by the look on Dooku's face Arl knows he's gonna get a talking to about the un-Jedi like action.
"Hey saviour, Hello Master Dooku." She says bowing to Dooku before hugging Xan.
"Greetings Padawan, somehow I am not at all surprised you came to see us off despite the council meeting." Dooku says, Arlie smiles sweetly but with a mischievous glint in her eye.
"Masters Windu and Giiett are stalling for me. It's Garen's first meeting so I have to be there." She explains holding back the eye roll at Xanatos' scowl.
"Well, we best not hold you up then, come along padawan." Dooku says before bowing to Aa, receiving a bow in return and then boarding the ship that will take them to Telos IV.
"Good bye Arlie, wish us luck." Xan says pulling her in for another hug, she holds him tightly willing herself not to cry. This would. Not. Be. Goodbye.
"No matter what happens out there Xan remember that we all care for you and need for you to come home." Arl whispers to him, he strokes her hair for a moment before she steps back and smiles, "Good luck Xan." She says bowing, he smiles and bows back. As the ramp closes behind him Arl starts freaking the fuck out as she's hit with the familiar feeling of finality, he would fall, again and she could do nothing to stop it.
She rushes at force enhanced speed to the council chamber stopping just outside the door and walking in calmly. Without a word, she moves over to her place on the wall and smiles encouragingly at Garen. She spends ten minutes freaking out internally and scolding herself for being an idiot.
(Why the fuck did I think it was a good idea to leave them to figure it out? Now he's going to fucking fall again and it's all my fault, gods Dooku's gonna kill Xan. Maybe his father won't be murdered, oh shit of course he's going to be fucking murdered he's a fucking douche. Gods dammit I'm gonna lose my saviour, my friend again. Xanatos is going to fall again and this time he might not come back. Why couldn't I just fucking leave well enough alone! Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck Xan's gonna fall.)
"XANATOS IS GOING TO WHAT!?" Mace yells through their bond making Arlie wince and immediately shield the bond, she relaxes and un-shields just enough to talk to him but not enough that he can get anything from her that she doesn't chose to give him.
"Master, our bond has strengthened!" Arl says faking enthusiasm, it's not at all believable.
"Arlie what are you talking about? Xanatos falling? What?" He says trying not to panic. Arl mentally takes a deep breath.
"I'll explain later just get through this meeting."
The second the meeting ends, Mace grabs Arlie by the back of her collar and gently herds her forwards, booking it out of the chamber and to their quarters.
"Okay what the hell is going on, Arlie?" Mace demands the second they get inside, Arlie closes the door with the force startling her master.
"Are you sure you want to know? Because what I have to say cannot be unheard." She warns knowing she had to tell him the truth. Clearly, she could not handle this on her own. Thankfully, he actually thinks about it before nodding.
"I'm sure." She sits down on the floor in front of the couch, he joins her as she takes a deep breath and debates how to begin. She eventually decides that the beginning is usually the best place to start a story.
"When I was five my owner sold me, I handed my baby brother over to my mother and said good bye." She says swallowing down the hatred she feels thinking of that day, Mace shivers as he feels the cold, hard hatred she feels. "Two years later my owner's ship was attacked by who I thought were pirates. I was locked in a small dark room and left there." It's panic she feels when thinking of that room as she always does.
Dark, and cold, why is it always so cold? She thought she melted this room to pieces but somehow she's trapped in it again, She just wants to go home.
Luckily, she knows that this part of her dream has already occurred, when she was first brought back. She shudders at the memory of finding herself once more in that room. "I don't know how long I was in there before this swirl of blue light erupted from the dark. A voice came through telling me to enter, I figured it couldn't be worse than pirates so I did. That's where I met my mentor, the one who trained me to use force-magic. Then we were attacked by something, I still don't know what, and she sent me to another universe to protect me. The force didn't exist there except in me so whenever I practiced force-magic I had to channel the force through myself, the power I used intertwined with my very being and it's why my eyes are purple, they glow when I push an immense amount of energy through myself. Anyway, I spent ten years on a planet called Earth before finally being brought back by my mentor. A month later Xanatos and Qui-Gon showed up and rescued me, brought me back here. I met you and became your padawan. You trained me, raised me to knighthood. I was knighted when I was thirteen, Garen and I spent the next seven years as partners, at twenty I took Mic's place on the council when he decided it was time to step down. Then there was a war, then the war ended and we lost. Boy did we lose big time. Twelve years after it ended I died, except I ended up back in the room on the pirate ship. Three days later Xan and Qui show up again and bring me here, you were here for the rest of it." Mace is quiet, sitting beside her with wide eyes.
"And Xan fell on this mission?" Mace asks, Arl is honestly surprised that that is his first question but she runs with it.
"Yes, except Dooku wasn't his Master the first time, Qui-Gon was."
"Which is why you got them to switch?"
"No, I was just trying to get Xan into a better place, I wasn't expecting them to switch his master. At first I thought it was great, but then I realised Xan's father being killed is what tipped him over the edge last time, if Dooku is there when that happens instead of Qui-Gon, Xanatos will die."
"If he were darkened Qui-Gon should have killed him the first time anyway." Mace says Arl sighs.
"I did not miss the black and white binary thinking of pre-war times. Look the problem is not Qui, it's Dooku. He is either fallen or falling and I don't just mean he did in the future, I can tell trust me. He was involved with some very bad people in the future and I don't know whether or not he is now but either way if Xanatos falls he is in deep shit."
"Well yes, he'll have fallen. That generally equals deep shit."
"Falling isn't always permanent Winni!" Arlie exclaims, Mace looks mildly amused.
"Why do I feel like we've had this conversation before?" She gives a startled smile at that.
"Because we have, future you was quite obstinate about it, then Jedi started falling frequently during the war and nearly all came back. He couldn't really refute my point after that."
"So, if it was during the war that that started happening, why did you think it possible before that?"
"Because anyone can make a choice. And because the lines between fallen and unfallen change depending on the perspective of those judging them. For instance, there were only two people I ever called fallen. Whereas Yoda called everyone but he and I fallen at one point or another." Mace rubs his hands over his face in frustration.
"Why did he never consider you fallen if he did everyone else?"
"Because I never fell, at least not during the war. I embraced a lot of hatred as I died so I imagine I may have fallen had I continued living. Although, given that I ended up back here and still hate everything I hated then, I suppose I may still be." He's quiet for a moment as he mulls over that.
"Okay, well, there's nothing we can do at this point but wait and hope he doesn't fall or die." They are both silent for a few moments that seemed to drag on endlessly until, "Want to go spar?"
"Yeah." Arl replies quickly.
A few hours later Mace and Arlie head back to their quarters.
"I feel better now that I know I'm not losing to a seven-year-old Jedi Padawan of five ish weeks."
"I may be a forty-eight-year-old Jedi Master but you trained me and I beat you the first time we sparred anyway. Not to mention I still have the body and strength of a seven-year-old and you're dealing with the only force-sensitive in the universe that hates the force and thus avoids use of it in a fight unless absolutely necessary."
"You're a Jedi master, how can you hate the force?" Mace asks incredulously as they exit the elevator.
"It brought me back here because it wants to be saved and I have no interest in saving it. All I want to do is save my family, and fix the order. The fact that that may also save all of reality has no bearing on my decision to do so. I'd have rather it just let me die honestly." Mace regards her with a worried expression for a moment.
"How did you die?" She stops moving and looks at him debating what to say, it still surprised her that he'd just accepted all this as truth and run with it.
"I tried to jump off of a building, stepped off of the ledge and onto the floor of the trade federation ship." She says deciding not to tell him which building, for his sake and for hers.
"You tried to kill yourself?!" He asks alarmed as he quickly pulls her into his arms, she smiles as she hugs him back and soothingly rubs his back.
"I had watched someone I loved very much, maybe more than anyone else I had left, be murdered by the thing I hated more than anything, then some very bad shit happened, I don't even know how long that lasted, but sufficed to say in the end, I just wanted release." She says the bit about the murder coming out dark and angry as she thinks of Vader. He was not her brother, he was the thing that took her brother from her.
"You seem to hate a lot of things." He says sounding concerned as he pulls back.
"I do, last time I didn't hate anything, I thought it was a waste of energy. Then things changed and I got pushed well beyond every limit I had and I hated it, hated so much, the war, the one who started it, the force, the Jedi, anything I could think of to blame, but the thing I hated most, actually more than the one that killed my love, is the day I left my mother and brother on Tatooine. That's the day everything started and I hate it more than I knew anyone was capable of hating anything." She says seething as she fights to keep her shields up so passing Jedi don't feel it. The only reason they weren't hearing the conversation was because she was creating an aura that projected feelings of everything being okay to everyone around her but her Master, just as she had in club X many, many years ago.
"That, my dear Padawan, is called the dark side. You were right, you are fallen." Mace says with tears in his eyes.
"So, what are you going to do?" She challenges as she crosses her arms and raises an eyebrow. He smiles kindly.
"I'm going to help bring you back, just as we will help Xanatos if given the chance. Because if this is what a fallen Jedi looks like, then killing them all is a serious over reaction." Arlie smiles at him.
"Look at that, Jedi can evolve."
The next night neither Mace nor Arlie slept. They waited on the floor in front of the couch looking out of the balcony window and hoping no comm chimed. Then it did and they both knew, they just knew.
They headed down to the emergency meeting, Mace grabbing Arlie's hand and keeping her by his side. Everyone was trying to work out what was going on, Micah told them Dooku had requested the meeting immediately upon his return. Garen stood against the wall looking nervous as hell, she felt she should be standing on the wall with him however she was glad when Mace just kept holding her hand. She stood by the side of his chair, dread pooling in her stomach as Dooku walked in, sans Padawan. She and Mace held their breath hoping beyond hope he wouldn't say what they both knew he would.
"Xanatos has fallen."