Walls

Daryl was still asleep when Carol woke the next morning. It was still quite dark but the barest edge of the new day had dared to add a dab of the coming light to the room and she could see Daryl as well as feel him curled up next to her. She warred with herself for a bit; part of her wanted to sleep for an hour longer and the other wanted to escape while she still could.

She slid out of bed and dressed quickly. She didn't want to wake Daryl. He needed rest and she felt vulnerable this morning. He had as he promised stayed on his side of the bed, but she could smell the faint odor of his soap, feel the warmth from his body slide over her side, and hear him fight through bad dreams. He had jerked awake last night and put a hand on her shoulder touching her lightly for just a few seconds. He had sighed and turned over and when back to sleep.

He had known she was awake and he hadn't meant to wake her. Her heart told her that he was just reassuring himself that she was there. He had followed her out of the church that night and if he hadn't she might have taken off. Left everyone she loved because she couldn't bear to watch them die.

All the way back on the farm she had said to Daryl, "I can't lose you too." Daryl had looked shocked and furious calling her a "Stupid bitch." She hadn't meant to say it. She didn't even know why she was so upset that he might die out there. She knew that her baby was dead, felt her gone in every part of her. Daryl didn't let go of people easily. He searched for Sophia when the others had given up and Carol hadn't let him wander away after her baby came out of the barn. They held on to each other.

It was true then and it was true now. She didn't want to watch him die and she had told him that in Atlanta. She had nearly died that hot summer day. Maybe she had died that day. She hadn't let herself feel alive since then, but there were faint slivers of life coming through. She had cried with both Sasha and Michonne yesterday and she had laughed last evening with Daryl. Slivers that were weakening her walls. She needed those walls now; her family would soon face the Wolves. It was time to reinforce walls and be ready to fight. It was warrior time.

Michonne was in the kitchen with Judith who seemed fussy. There was coffee already made. "What's wrong with Judith?"

Michonne looked up from her coffee, "Teething."

Carol remembered teething. Sophia had been miserable and she had let the world know it. "The colic was worse, but teething seemed to go on forever. Maybe we can find something at the pharmacy." She took a clean washcloth and poured water over it and put it in the freezer. "My grandmother told me she used that with me. You take it out when it is frozen and let the baby chew on it. It's frozen and that works for a little while."

"Andre never had the colic, but teething was horrific. He looked so cute when he smiled after the teeth came in that I forgot how bad it was." Michonne took an ice cube out of the freezer and wrapped it around another wash cloth. She rubbed it on Judith's gums. It seemed to offer a little relief and both mothers smiled at each other. Something had changed between them since Michonne had told her about Andre. They had both lost their children to this world. Mothers are supposed to keep their children alive and they had not. That failure had pushed both of them into becoming stronger. Michonne was letting go of her walls, telling her about Andre was part of that.

Michonne smiled again but this time there was a glint in her eyes, "So did the earth move? Not seeing a whole lot of afterglow, but Daryl did wheedle his way into your bed last night."

There were no secrets in this house, Carol reminded herself. "Daryl gave Morgan his room because the basement in a mess. He did watch last night and he needed a place to sleep. No earth was moved."

"So you and Daryl just had a sleepover? Damn, he had cut his hair and taken a shower. How could you resist those chiseled arms and blue eyes? Especially since those eyes have been hidden by the hair helmet for so long." Michonne was enjoying this.

Carol made herself a cup of coffee and added some to Michonne's cup, "Does that mean that you couldn't resist Daryl when you went on all those long trips to find the governor. Just you and him and a sky full of stars."

"Oh, Carol is being downright catty. Love it. Daryl and I are really just friends. The only itch between us was caused by fleas. We're mates, but not soul mates. He loves you, always has and always will." Michonne saw that Judith was almost asleep. "Daryl was dead inside when we found him out there with those monstrous men. He didn't come back to life until he found you in the woods outside Terminus. I'm going to put Judith back to bed and I'll help you make breakfast."

Morgan came through the door, "Let me make breakfast. I'm a magician with dried eggs."

Michonne took Judith upstairs and Morgan asked, "What is wrong with Judith? Is she sick?"

"Teething". Carol saw that Morgan understood about teething.

"Duane kept us awake lots of night. Jenny had a heart condition. Not bad but enough so that I would roll out of bed as soon as that boy started fussing. I used to freeze spoons and washcloths." He got a cup of coffee. "Being a good father was important to me. I didn't have a good role model in dear old dad, but Jenny's dad was everything that I wanted to be. God rest his soul. Now where are the eggs?"

Carol handed him the can that was clearly marked "Dried eggs". Morgan smiled, "Can you make biscuits? Mine always look like hockey pucks."

Carol could make biscuits and they worked together companionably. Morgan talked as he worked, "I spent so much time alone that I talk my head off when I am with people."

"You just had the one son? You seem like you would have wanted more children." Carol had learned to keep people talking and that way you never gave much of yourself away."

"We adopted Duane when he was a baby. Jenny's heart was never strong. I knew that we could never have children together. I was twenty and she was eighteen when we met. I had this buddy in the army. He asked me to come home with him for a week's leave. I didn't want to go to my parent's house so I went with him. Sunday morning the whole family got up had a big breakfast and then we went to church. That was all new to me."

He chuckled and threw some ingredients into the eggs. "Jenny was sitting on the other side of the church. She was beautiful. I couldn't stop looking at her and after church I asked my friend who she was. Turned out that they were cousins and he introduced us. Her father and mother were standing beside her and I was doing everything I could to make a good impression. Our first date was Sunday night service and I walked her home. She told me then that she couldn't have children. I remember walking along holding her hand. It was April and the azaleas were blooming in South Carolina and I knew that Jenny would always be enough for me."

Carol put her hand on his arm, "You must have been very happy." She heard something and turned and saw Daryl and Michonne standing there. She stepped away from Morgan, "Breakfast will be ready soon." Daryl's face looked angry. He was jealous of Morgan and that meant that he was both angry and hurt. She could let that anger and hurt come between them and then the walls would stay safely in place. Daryl would bolt out the door and she wouldn't have another supper with Daryl in the tower and he wouldn't be in her bed again.

Carol handed Michonne the oven mitt, "Don't let the biscuits burn. I'll be back in a minute."

Daryl was at the front door when Carol caught up with him. She followed him out onto the porch. "You are going to eat breakfast before you go to work."

"I ain't hungry." He was hungry and she knew it. He was hurt and she knew that too. It was her turn to hold on.

"I don't want to lose you. You stopped me from running one night while we were on the road. I'm stopping you from running now." Daryl looked at her then, a quick questioning look, and she went on, "Don't you know that you'll always be enough for me?"

Daryl stared out at the walls of Alexandria. She waited. He was on the first step and she remembered Sam's hug the night before. There was a hint of Merle in his smirk, "I could eat. Does this mean that I can scoot over on your side of the bed?"

"It means that you know that I am trying. It means that you're the one who I hold onto whether we are falling off overpasses or fighting walkers. Let's go before Michonne lets the biscuits burn." Carol turned to go, "There's jelly."

Daryl put his arms around her and lightly kissed her, "Don't want to lose you. Do you have to be so damn pretty in the morning?"

"Get a room". Carol looked up to see Sasha and Spencer grinning at them. Daryl gave them the finger.

Carol invited them in for breakfast and gave Daryl a reproving look. "You do this shit again Dixon and I am kicking your ass out of my bed. Just saying." She pushed away from him, "Let's go rescue the biscuits."

Daryl murmured, "Fuck the biscuits."

Carol ignored the obscenity. Daryl managed to eat enough biscuits with jelly to show that he didn't mean it. Morgan's eggs were a long way from magical but Daryl was able to choke down a plateful.

Rick came down with Judith who chewed on the frozen washcloth and applesauce. "I am going to need you women to do more watches."

"I think you should pair us up with the women of Alexandria. We can show them what to look for. Two pairs of eyes are better than one anyway." Carol put jelly on her biscuit and went on, "We might want to move part of those weapons out of the armory. Putting them in one place is a bad idea."

"We hide some of them in our safe room. We give weapons to those people who can use them and we start training the others." Michonne got up to give Carl her seat and get some more coffee.

Sasha and Spencer reported that they it had been quiet on watch. Morgan asked Daryl to tell everyone about his encounter with the Wolves. Daryl talked about the walkers stored in trailers and the mutilated bodies with a "W" cut into their foreheads.

Morgan waited until Daryl was finished and he recounted his encounter with two wolves. He played with Judith's curls and spoke softly. "They're killers and killers have a pattern. The stored up walkers are part of their killing technique. They must move them with those trailers. You saw the signs about wolves in Richmond so they are mobile. That means they move the walkers by trucks. My guess is that they'll create an opening in the walls. They'll send the walkers in to clear out most of the town. Then they'll gather the walkers up and go in and kill whoever is left."

"How do they gather the walkers back?" Rick asked.

Michonne remembered Merle Dixon turning the cd players up as loud as possible as they started their parade of walkers toward the rendezvous point with the Governor. "Walkers move toward sound. Maybe the wolves leave some bodies in the trailers and that attracts the walkers back in."

TWDTWDTWD

Carol did watch from ten o'clock until twelve with Jan Salyers. Carol brought a rifle and a pistol and Jan knew how to use them. She had been stationed at Fort Belvoir when virus hit. She had been part of an Army mission to evacuate Northern Virginia and had been left behind when a walker herd caused the trucks to roll out half empty. Jan had found Alexandria months later. She was combat ready. Jan left at twelve to be part of the group that was guarding the men working on the walls

Jessie came on at twelve and stayed until two. Carol spent those two hours getting Jessie used to handling both a rifle and a pistol. Jessie didn't seem very interested in self-defense and Carol wondered why Rick had paired them up. Was Carol supposed to mentor Jessie? Was she supposed to be the instructor in "Surviving Domestic Abuse and the Zombie Apocalypse 101?"

Jessie was a mass of contradictions to Carol. She had just buried her abusive husband and she seemed more interested in watching Rick work at reinforcing the fences than learning how to handle a rifle. She declared herself able to "Take care of herself" but wasn't interested in self- defense. Did Jessie think that Rick was her knight in shining armor? Jesse seemed to love her two boys but Carol knew that she was a laissez-faire mother. Her boys were free to roam at will.

Something was off about Jessie and Carol wondered if she was using some sort of prescription medication. Maybe Pete had kept her supplied with pills so that she could stay at her "happy place" while he drank. Jessie was all sunny and cheerful today and she gave Carol the creeps.

Sam had shown up in the guard tower before he knew his mother was there. Carol let him stay because he would probably wander around town if Jessie wasn't home. He was quieter than normal. He watched men work on the walls and putting up barricades. Abraham and a crew were clearing the area outside the gates of Alexandria and Michonne, Maggie, and Francine were on guard duty around them.

At two Michonne came on duty with Clair and Olivia. She was only going to spend a couple of hours there and they were on their own until six. Sasha and Spencer were on from six to ten and then it would be Carol and Daryl from ten until two. Aaron and Morgan were two until six. Rick and Carl would take the six until ten shift tomorrow morning. No one was going to get much rest but Carol understood. The Wolves were coming for them. She wasn't making any casseroles today.

Carol had a group of women waiting on the front porch when she went home. They wanted to learn how to fight and she and Michonne took them outside the walls. The construction had the local walkers all aflutter so the lesson was taken seriously. Spencer had talked to people today about the wolves and they had listened.

Dinner that night was a casserole that one of the good ladies of Alexandria had made. Morgan and Daryl hung the steel door in the safe room and stocked it supplies. Carol woke up when Daryl came upstairs. His hair was still wet from his shower when he got in bed.

"Behave yourself, Carol. I am too tired to do anything but sleep." He leaned over and kissed her softly on the lips as he had this morning. "We have two hours to sleep." Daryl went to sleep and Carol slid closer to him.

Sasha and Spencer had been tense when they got there. "Something is out there. Be careful". Spencer warned.

"They are scoping us out. Looking for weaknesses." Sasha shivered. "It is cold tonight too."

It was cold and dark tonight. Carol stayed on one side behind a wall and Daryl on the other. Carol knew too well that a high powered rifle round would go through the wooden walls of the tower. The walls had openings so that you could watch without stepping out into clear view.

Carol had told Merle that she "Wasn't afraid of anything" and that wasn't true anymore if it had been true then. She was afraid of losing the people she loved, she feared dying as much as anyone, and she was terrified of the Wolves. The only thing that kept her from running is that she couldn't leave Daryl to do this alone.

Daryl whispered, "I'm scared shitless. How about you?"

Carol smiled, "Wanna screw around?"

Daryl laughed softly, "Say that again at two o'clock when were back in bed."

Carol saw something move at the edge of the tree line. She would have liked to empty her round in that direction but that would only alert the Wolves and wake the town. She cleared her throat, "Baby steps okay?"

"Don't you know that you'll always be enough for me."

AN

Carol and Daryl still have a way to go. "Baby steps" you know.

Review please.