Chapter 16

Soup's On

"On Elsa's moon, my hearts were lost to the fair maid Nelda. She stabbed me once, she kicked me twice, but where, I just won't tell ya!"

Finn let out a sigh. He'd stick his fingers in his ears if his hands weren't hanging two feet above his head and bound by a thick rope. He wasn't alone either; there was a young human woman hanging beside him, apparently unconscious. She wore a green and gray-striped shirt that hung on one shoulder, a pair of blue jean shorts much too large for her, and a pair of ragged-looking sandals. She had a strange tattoo on the back of her right hand; for just a moment, Finn could swore he saw the tattoo glow.

Sighing loudly, Finn said, "I thought krogan singing was ruled cruel and unusual punishment."

The krogan chuckled as he continued chopping meat on a large piece of blasted bulkhead that served as a cutting board. "Jus' trying to pass the time. Your friend up yet?"

Finn glanced at his fellow captive. "Still asleep … and she's not my friend."

"My bad. I caught her sneaking around my freezer too, so I just guessed you were together." The krogan glanced back at him. "Lotta humans sneakin' around my deep freeze lately. Makes a fellow a bit suspicious. What would humans want in my larder?"

"I'm an agent of the Shadow Broker working with interstellar thieves to steal the jewel in the Primarch's headpiece." Finn said in a dry tone.

The krogan chuckled again. "Sure you are."

"No one ever believes me." Finn muttered as the krogan continued to chop at the slab of meat on his makeshift table. After listening to the rhythmic thump of the knife against the board for a few more minutes, Finn asked, "So, what's your name?"

"Call me Tuck. You?"

"Finn." Given his recent experiences, he opted not to reveal his last name.

"Well, Finn, I'm glad you stopped on by. You see, krogans aren't known for being …" Tuck waved his knife around a few times before continuing, "Well, let's just say we aren't known to be picky eaters. Most consider a slab of roasted thresher and a jug of ryncol fine dining."

Letting out a derisive snort, Tuck said, "Y'see, it's not that we don't have taste; it's that we taught ourselves not to care. Well, I aim to fix that. Ol' Wrex agreed with me; that's why he sent me to Reblax. You heard of Reblax, kid?"

Finn thought on it for a moment. "It's a cooking school on Ilium, isn't it?"

"Best in the galaxy. Y'see, being a cook is hard work; ya gotta know who you're cooking for. Levo, dextro, omni: that stuff's simple, but you can't always work with chirality. Turians and quarians are both dextro, but you feed 'em both a nice glommberry cobbler, and it's only the turian who starts choking on his own tongue. Asari and humans share chirality, but if you accidentally seasoned your braised beef stew with a pinch of spacum for a bit of flavor, the asari will start laughing nonstop and the human will pass out! No, Finn, cooking's complicated stuff, and a good meal can make all the difference. Wrex knew that … or maybe he just wanted something with a bit more flavor."

"A krogan chef." Finn said, feeling a bit dazed. "Well, that's … different."

"Ain't it just?" The krogan put down his knife. Picking up two large handfuls of meat, he turned to face Finn. "I'm gonna bring a bit of class to this rock, one meal at a time."

Tuck dropped the meat into a large pot and wiped his hands. "And that is where you come in."

"I do?" Finn asked, not sure he was liking where the situation was heading.

"Yup. You see, in terms of taste, our species aren't too different. Oh, don't get me wrong; down and dirty krogan cooking would hit you like a plasma round to the guts. That's the kinda food we're trying to get away from. When it comes down to it, though, I've found that our tastes aren't that different."

Finn raised an eyebrow at this. "Really."

"Oh, yes. We've got a bit more tolerance for spices, but other than that, we seem to like similar things." He walked over to Finn and poked him in the chest. "That, my boy, is why I'm glad you stopped by. See, I need someone to try some of my latest creations."

"Wouldn't another krogan be more ideal?" Finn asked, trying to ignore a growing sense of dread.

"Yeah, but they're all busy. They even called away my assistants. Tried to call me too, but I'm too busy to go searching for some crashed ship."

"What?!"

Tuck let out a snort. "Yeah. Thought it was you and your friend at first but I can't see you two flying in an asari ship. Mercs are usually more practical."

"Uh, right." Inwardly, Finn swore. Apparently someone had gotten word to Tuchanka about the Meridia. He knew he shouldn't have been surprised; their arrival wasn't exactly big on stealth. Still he had to find a way to get free and get word to the Meridia … if it wasn't already too late.

"Anyway, enough about them." Tuck grabbed a ladle from a messy stack of utensils and dipped it into the stew. "Since you're here, you can have the first taste."

"First taste? Oh, no."

"Oh, yes." Tuck sniffed at the full ladle and let out a satisfied sigh. "I'm gonna have to insist."

He strode over to Finn and held the ladle up to his face. "Now make sure you take a good long whiff of it first. The bouquet is what's gonna be drawing them in, after all."

Finn took a tenative whiff. It smelled of meat and spice, a not unpleasant combination.

"Ah?" Tuck said, raising the ladle a little so Finn could reach it with his mouth.

Seeing as he was sure he'd be tasting it either way, Finn steeled himself and took a big slurp from the ladle.

"Don't swallow it right away." Tuck said suddenly, nearly making Finn choke. The thought of what the krogan might do if Finn spat the stew in his face was enough to block out Finn's gag reflex. "Swill it around a little; get a good taste."

Finn swished the stew around in his cheeks. After a few moments his eyes went wide.

Tuck nodded. "Eh? Not bad, right? Now swallow."

The stew slid down Finn's throat, a startlingly tasty mix of beef, pepper, cilantro, and cream.

He looked up into the krogan's eager face. "It's pretty damn good."

"Ha! My first satisfied customer!" Tuck dipped the ladle back into his pot (apparently hygiene wasn't taught at Reblax, Finn thought to himself) and took a long swill himself.

"It is pretty good." He said, eyeing the pot. "But there's still something missing."

Without another word, Tuck disappeared through the door to the freezer, only to pop his head back in a moment later. "Don't go anywhere!"

"Hardy-har har." Finn said with a scowl.

Tuck let out a bark of a laugh before vanishing once again into the freezer.

"Well, that happened." Finn muttered to himself. He could still taste the stew, which only made him think of how long it had been since he had eaten a good meal.

Finn gave his restraints a shake again to no avail. Sighing, he glanced at his sister-in-chains. "I don't suppose you have any ideas."

"Depends." She replied, her eyes still closed. "Is he gone?"

Finn stared at her. "You've been awake this whole time?"

"Well, I sure wasn't going to eat what the turtle-man was cooking." A grin appeared on the woman's face. Without another word, she flipped up and planted her feet on either side of the beam from which they were suspended. With a grunt, she managed to snap the rope and land with catlike grace on the floor.

"Wow." Finn said as she stood up and dusted off her hands. "You're a lot stronger than you look."

"I get that a lot. Hang on a sec; I'll cut you down."

Finn thought she'd grab a knife from the table, but she simply leaned forward and ran a finger across the rope. The rope snapped as though cut with a high-precision laser.

"Thanks." He told her as he tried to rub the life back into his arms.

She waved him off. "No problem. Now maybe you can help me; where am I?"

"Tuchanka." He told her. Seeing her blank expression, he continued, "Aralkah System? Krogan DMZ?"

"Sorry." She said as she slipped the rope into one of her pockets. "Isn't ringing any bells. Is it anywhere near Vinta?"

"Vinta?"

"Hmm." The woman scratched the side of her head thoughtfully. "Okay, how about Earth? Are we anywhere near there?"

"Not really."

"But you've heard of it." She nodded as though satisfied. "That's something at least. What year is it anyway?"

Finn stared at her. "Who are you? How could you not know what the year is?"

She opened her mouth to answer, only for a loud clang to sound from the freezer.

"Ah, crap!" The woman glanced around. "I thought we'd have a little more time. Look, I'm glad to help, but I really don't want to hear any more of his singing."

"That makes two of us." Finn nodded to one of the doors leading out of the chamber. "Let's get out of here."

The two slinked out of the kitchen, both eyeing the freezer door with concern as they tiptoed past. Once they were out of the room, they both let out a sigh of relief.

"Well, that's that then." She glanced at Finn and offered her hand. "I'm Glen, by the way."

"Glen?"

Her cheeks went red. "Well, technically Glenda, but if you call me that I'm gonna punch you."

Shaking his head, Finn said, "Glen it is. I'm Finn."

"Nice to meetcha, Finn!" She gave his hand a hearty shake. "So, what are you doing here?"

"I could ask you the same thing."

Sighing, she said, "I crashed my … well, I guess ship is as good a term as any. During the landing, I managed to lose a pretty crucial part, and I need to get it back so I can head home. Fortunately, I've got something that'll lead me straight to it."

She raised the heavier of the chains that hung around her neck, revealing an old brass skeleton key with a crystalline gem set in the grip. The links of the chain clinked as the key was pulled toward the wall on their right.

Glen stuffed the key back into her shirt. "But I've got plenty of time. What about you? Is what you told that turtle guy true?"

"About the Shadow Broker and the thieves? Yeah, pretty much. We need the jewel in the krogan leader's headpiece to find the location of a hidden cache." He stopped, realizing he had given a bit more information than he intended. "It's a long story."

"Ooh, tell me!" She lifted a small metal disc, adding, "I'll give you a shiny nickel."

Finn couldn't help but laugh at that. "Okay, but remember; you asked for it."