Chapter 3
The council erupted into chaos as they had last time but Arlie merely smiled a small smile of acceptance, she had seen this coming after all, but this time she had done something to try and stop it, had done many things. He had learnt shielding, she had taught him to rethink his views on the force, had given him a Master that he worked better with, it was not her fault that none of it helped, she knew this now. She squeezed her Master's hand reassuringly, he gave her a sad smile but there was a spark in his eyes that gave her hope. If Xanatos was alive they would save him, or try to at least. (Do or do not, there is no try.) She thinks wryly.
"Arlie?" Garen whispers brokenly over all the noise, Adi starts weeping and Micah guides his padawan into his lap as before while he looks worriedly at Arlie.
"Master Dooku, perhaps you should tell the council exactly what happened?" She suggests in her 'Jedi Master surrounded by calm serenity' voice. Most looked more worried at her response, Yoda merely looked proud. She was certain that the other Master had suspicions about her but she seriously doubted 'from a distant future and also another universe and also a place that doesn't exist.' Had popped into his little green head yet.
"His father was murdered in front of him, he fell and attempted to go after the perpetrator. I stopped him, he did not like that. I attempted to follow the code however he performed a move that I believe Padawan Aa taught him, I did not know how to counter it and as a result he got away." Dooku tells them, several pairs of eyes look to Arlie.
"Oops."
"One of your closest friends falls to the dark side, uses a move you taught him to get away, and all you can say is 'oops.'?" Master Koth asks incredulously.
"Well I wasn't counting on him using the move against Dooku when I taught it to him." She defends, Mace drops his head into his hands not even bothering with propriety.
"We need to find him." Mace points out to steer the conversation away from his padawan.
"Yes, follow the code we must." Yoda tells them all, Mace deliberately plays up his horrified look as he turns to Yoda.
"I meant so that we can help him, he's eighteen and he just watched his father be murdered. He needs our help not us murdering him as well. We are supposed to be the ones there to protect him and be there for him through difficult times, he needs our support right now." Mace tells them looking specifically at the troll.
"Mace, the code exists for a reason, the fallen cannot be saved." Adi says quietly with a voice full of despair.
"Someone once told me that the Jedi are kin, that we are supposed to look out for each other. Are you really going to kill your own family? He's just lost his dad, don't make him lose us too." Arlie says playing up the broken hearted seven-year-old façade. The council look to each other, none sure what to say in the face of a child's grief, especially when her words make sense. Arlie used to hate Yoda for manipulating his friends, now she's older and can understand that sometimes it's for the greater good. They call a break with plans to reconvene tomorrow, Arlie and Mace immediately head back to their quarters unaware that Micah and Garen are following albeit at a more sedate pace.
"How you doing?" Mace asks looking concerned, she bites back a sneer. It's not him she's angry at, she's just angry in general these days and the longer that goes on the harder it is to work around it.
"I'll deal with that later. Something has just occurred to me. Fallen Jedi's eyes don't go yellow. The yellow is the Sith and it comes from what the Jedi would call corruption. Little Obi once said that Xan's eyes were yellow. He saw them go blue again when Xanatos fought through it, but if his eyes were yellow that means he was corrupted by something or someone."
"Hey on, did you say Sith? Why do you know so much about the Sith?" Mace asks remembering her mentioning them before.
"Too much time researching with Dooku and way too much experience. That's not the point, okay wait no I'm jumping too far ahead, okay. So, there's this Sith named Darth Sidious, he allies himself with the Trade Federation at some point, I believe it may have already happened. In any case, about a month before the war started, a group of us started putting several pieces of a puzzle together and realized who the Sith was, but more importantly began thinking that he may have been targeting me. One of the things that was mentioned was Xanatos, I thought nothing of it at the time, just another piece of evidence. But what if he was more connected than we thought? What if he was corrupted by Sidious after he fell?" Mace blinks several times.
"Sith?" He asks again sounding lost.
"Yes, get with the program Winni, that Sith started the whole blasted war and tricked everyone, well, almost everyone."
"That Sith, meaning there's more than one?" Mace asks, Arlie rolls her eyes.
"You are focusing on the wrong thing Winni!" Arlie yells frustratedly, he continues to look questioningly at her, she sighs, deflating, "Yes, I have come across three Sith in my time. Sidious, Tyranus and V-Vader."
"Vader killed the one you loved, didn't he?"
"Yes, he did, he killed him, and destroyed my brother, tore apart his fucking soul and ruined everything he had ever done." Arlie snarls loudly before taking a deep breath and reigning in her anger again. "Sorry."
"At some point, we really need to work on your whole fallen issue." Mace tells her with a concerned look.
"I really hate it when you look at me like that."
"So, stop giving me reason to." She pokes her tongue out at him. "Forty-eight-year-old Jedi Master and still about as mature as a seven-year-old." Someone clears their throat from the doorway, Arl and Mace whip around and see Mic and Garen standing there looking equal parts bewildered and horrified, they had left the door open…
"So, to recap, Sith, fallen Arl, forty-eight-year-old Arl, war, and did I mention Sith?" Micah summarises as he walks in and shuts the door guiding Garen over to the couch.
"You missed time travelling Jedi Master/General." Arlie adds, Mace glares at her, "What? It's too late to get out of it."
"Okay wait, so not only is Xanatos fallen but you are too? When did this happen? Why didn't you tell anyone? What is this about a Sith and war and weird ages and I'm sorry did you say time travel?" Garen asks quickly.
"Okay long story short, lived this all before. Grew up in the temple, got knighted, Sith killed a Jedi Master, I joined the council, war broke out, bad shit happened, a couple of Sith revealed themselves, we lost the war, then I died. Somehow, I blame the fucking force, I ended up back on the pirate ship and decided to try and prevent certain events. This was one of them, I failed. Also, it was four Sith Mace, I forgot Maul. Lord knows how I did, but anyway." Arl says summarising things.
"Somehow that summary gave them more information than your full explanation gave me." Mace tells her.
"Well I purposely left Sith out of yours."
"Oh my gods you two, forget the summaries, if this, Sidious has Xanatos in his clutches then we need to save him." Micah tells them incredulously, Arlie finally realises why Mace so easily accepted things before, why Micah is now, they trust her.
"We may not need to, Obi-Wan got through to him last time, lied to everyone and said Xan had died afterwards because they both knew he wouldn't be allowed back. All we have to do is make it so that he can, then Obi has a chance of being able to convince him to come home. Assuming they are ever even in that situation. If his reasoning is the same then Xan is going after Dooku this time not Qui."
"Then what do we do?" Garen asks.
"Well it's simple. We assign Qui-Gon, and Dooku to the same mission when it comes time for when Obi to ran into Xan." Micah suggests.
"Won't work, Dooku will change things too much, Obi and Xan won't have the chance to talk alone." Arlie informs them.
"So, what if we just sent Obi-Wan and Dooku?" Mace asks.
"After what just happened do you think Master Jinn is going to trust Master Dooku with another of his Padawan's?" Garen replies.
"What if we sent Arlie with Dooku?" Micah suggests while looking at Arlie like she held the key to the universe.
"Why?" Mace asks as it seemed to come from no where.
"Well, we say that you want her to have some more field experience since you spend most of your time in temple. Dooku and Arlie work well together and I'm sure she can convince him to take her, she seems to be able to convince anyone of anything." Micah explains.
"Someone once called that my 'Ice to a Hothian' mode because they were convinced I could sell ice on Hoth and have the natives actually buying it. Can't remember who started that but it stuck for thirty years." Arlie reminisces fondly, they all kind of smile of chuckle a bit at the thought.
"It's weird hearing those words come out of a child's mouth." Micah says, "Anyway, you end up in the situation that Obi was in and bring Xan home." They all nod in agreement.
"It's a solid plan, but which mission is it?" Mace asks.
"The Telos IV bombings, Xanatos wanted revenge on the planet as well and he figured it would gain the Jedi's attention."
"Okay, then that's what we'll do. For now, we just need to get the council to agree to helping Xanatos instead of killing him." Micah tells them.
"Are there any other big events we should be worrying about specifically Arlie?" Garen asks.
"In six years the Trade Federation is going to put a blockade around Naboo, completely legally, except for the Sith behind it. Qui and Obi are sent to negotiate, crap happens, the Sith sends his apprentice to deal with them, he fails, he tries again, he kills Qui-Gon and is then killed by Obi-Wan." She tells them.
"Any ideas on how to prevent that?" Micah asks as Mace runs his hands over his face.
"Well I figured I have six years to train the two to fight better. I'll find an excuse, get them up to snuff and then they'll take him out when they first meet him on Tatooine instead of facing him on Naboo."
"And if the Sith Master sends Tyranus or Vader?" Mace asks but Arl is already shaking her head.
"He can't send Vader, he's nine and perfectly fucking innocent." She bites out before taking a moment to compose herself. "and Tyranus is either still a Jedi or undercover as one. Either way he won't be sent."
"Tyranus was a Jedi? Wait, what does undercover mean?" Garen asks, Arlie sighs out loud for that one.
"It means he's pretending to be one but I don't know if he is or not."
"Who?" Mace asks in a hard voice. Arl hesitates before deciding to just say it.
"Dooku, yet another reason he was the last person Xan should have been with for this mission, for god's sake he's the one that killed him and all because he wanted to make a point to me!" Arlie says yelling the last part before turning and punching a hole into the wall, then she freezes as she realises what just happened. "Sorry, I didn't mean to do that." She says before using Force-Magic to repair the wall. "Thing is though, Dooku tried to warn me and clue me in several times to several different things I just didn't have the information to put it all together or I got distracted and stuff. I don't even know whose side Dooku was on but whatever the reason he killed many Jedi, many troops, many civilians. He led the other side of the war at Sidious' order. It doesn't matter much why."
"Okay so, training them should solve that, moving on to the next topic of conversation, you being fallen." Micah says looking at her warily, she expects that has less to do with fear and more concern for her and confusion.
"Depends on your definition of 'fallen', some may say I just have anger issues."
"It's not the anger Arlie, it's the seething hatred you have for just about everything." Mace tells her.
"WELL IT'S NOT MY FAULT EVERYTHING WENT TO COMPLETE SHIT!" She screams at him, the three guys look at her with varying degrees of worry and wariness.
"This is the thing about the dark side Arlie, the longer you are in it the harder it is to leave." Mace says carefully, she narrows her eyes at him.
"What would you now about the dark side, Jedi?" Arlie says to him venomously.
"My mother was once married to someone whose entire being was dripping with darkness. He was the most vile man I have ever met and I had to deal with him frequently because he was my brother's father. He was incredibly force-sensitive and used it when beating my brother. It never stopped amazing me that from that man came a boy whose midichlorian count was literally 8 and is the nicest guy you'll ever meet, so yes Arlie, I know darkness and I know anger and I know that the longer you dwell in it the angrier you get. You need to let us help you." Mace pleads, Arlie realises she'd taken up a battle stance and steps out of it as the anger fades from her eyes.
"I know you do, and I know all about what happened with your brother, I'm sorry. Wait, Sheev's midi count was 8?" Arlie asks incredulously, remembering what Qui-Gon and Xanatos had said about the force-null politician Sheev Palpatine.
"At birth yeah, why?" Mace asks blinking at the sudden change of topic and demeanour.
"That's impossible, that's as force null as you can fucking get. That can't be right." She says, how could such a powerful Sith Lord be a force null when he used it near constantly?
"It was far too blinding for me to see who exactly was involved, but there's an unnatural amount of darkness there, even for the events that took place. Someone was being controlled through the dark side, maybe even possessed."
"Oh shit. Vos was right." Arlie says.
"Knight-Elect Vos?" Micah asks confused.
"Oh, he's doing his trials? That's great. And no, future Knight Vos, look I once sent Vos to look into what happened the night Lorna died, see if he could find evidence. For reasons I will explain at a later date, it was really important that the perpetrator be arrested. He couldn't find proof but did know who had done it, we already knew that as well. He also found evidence of someone being controlled through the dark side, said it might have even been possession but he couldn't see who." Arlie says remembering just in time that Mace had no idea Sheev had killed Lorna because Obi hasn't told him yet.
"What does this have to do with anything?" Mace asks impatiently.
"Because the one that did it was the Sith and I think he may actually be innocent and being controlled." Arlie tells them hating every second of it, the last thing she wanted was for Sheev fucking Palpatine to be innocent.
"What does that have to do with my brother's midichlorian count?"
"Oh gods." Micah says as he catches on, "He did it didn't he, Sheev, your brother, he was the Sith?"
"Yes, but like I said, I think he may have been being controlled possibly." She says hesitantly, she didn't want to make her Master deal with this, but she had decided transparency was her only hope now. Mace stares at her.
"That would mean Sheev killed Lorna."
"In the future, your eldest nephew tells you the truth about what he saw that day, he saw his father killing his mother and threatening he and his siblings. That's all we knew at that time, now there's a chance he's innocent. So, hold onto that hope because if so, we have one more person we need to save, and we will save him." Mace looks dazed but nods.
"Yes, we will." He replies.
"Okay couple of questions, number one, when we do save him, will Sheev remember killing his wife? And number two, how do we help you uh…unfall…?" Garen asks, everyone exchanges looks not sure of the answer to either question.
"And how do we save Sidi, um, Sheev, who is controlling him and why?" Arlie adds. They are all quiet for a while.
"Much as I hate to say it, we have six years before the Sith stuff is really set in motion…" Micah begins to say.
"Actually sixteen, after Maul there's no Sithly experiences for a decade." Arlie interjects.
"Okay so for the next sixteen years we have a plan, save Xan, train Qui and Obi. We also have time to plan for everything else. The more immediate problem is the council relenting about killing Xanatos, and Arlie's darkness." Micah finishes.
"Hey I'm not dark! I may not be light because hatred and shit but I've never used the force in a dar…oh wait does attempting to disintegrate someone at a molecular level count even if they're a Sith?" Arlie asks.
"I mean my first instinct is yes but for the sake of argument what was your reasoning behind it, or was it simply, 'because he's a Sith'?" Micah asks, Arlie goes to open her mouth before closing it again, gaining a sheepish smile and looking at her shoes.
"Upon reflection it may have sort of been about, um, rage filled revenge." Arlie replies, the three just look at her jaws hanging open.
"Hey he broke my brother, he stormed the temple and killed everyone including the younglings, he killed all but four Jedi and a single padawan, he killed the love of my fucking life right in front of me and he refused to fight me!" Arlie defends growing angrier throughout.
"So now that we've established that yes, there is an amount of Darkness, what do we do?" Micah asks, Arlie huffs and sits on the coffee table as Mic and Garen sit on the couch in front of her and Mace in the armchair to her left.
"Oh, what an odd situation, the Jedi don't know what to do." Arlie drawls sarcastically.
"You're an ass when you aren't in Jedi Master mode." Garen tells her, she rolls her eyes.
"I think the bigger worry is how you keep saying Jedi as though you aren't one of us." Mace points out.
"I don't live by the Jedi code, I think it's stupid and I hate everything it stands for. Especially given that technically speaking I should be put to death for using force-magic. It's not of the light side. The fact that it isn't of the dark side either has no bearing on the ruling." Arlie points out.
"Then why be here?" Garen asks, "I mean I'm glad you are, but if you hate Jedi then why live in a temple full of them?"
"I AM ONLY HERE BECAUSE ONE DAY MY BROTHER WILL BE AND THIS IS THE BEST WAY TO STAY CLOSE TO HIM."
"I'D LET THE GALAXY BURN TO SAVE HIS LIFE, I AM NO JEDI!"
"THEN WHY ARE YOU HERE ARLIE?"
"The truth is, all I've ever wanted is to help people so, so teach me the ways of the Jedi, Master, I'm ready to listen now."
"stay close to the Jedi and make sure they are willing to evolve."
"I won't fail my mentor, I swear it."
"I know."
"Because I wanted to help someone save us all. I failed once, I cannot fail again." Arlie says quietly.
"Why here though?" Garen presses further.
"I had this mentor, she was from the future. She told me about how she learnt force-magic and I promised to help her. She said to stay close to the Jedi and make sure they were ready to evolve, that I had about thirty years to do so. Forty years later, counting my time spent on Earth, I fail so spectacularly that I fall to the dark side I didn't even believe in most of my life and try to jump off of a kriffing building."
"What does Kriff mean?" Garen asks innocently while Micah yells "WHY WERE YOU JUMPING OFF OF A BUILDING?!"
"I was not in a good place."
"Which is what we need to work on so that, not only do you not jump off of anymore buildings, but you also are no longer vulnerable to the Sith." Mace tells her.
"I am not vulnerable to the Sith!" She replies angrily.
"So, if you were offered the chance to beat the living shit out of everything you hate here, to get back at the Jedi and bring this temple and everything it stands for crumbling down around us, you wouldn't take it?" Mace asks in an enticing voice, Arlie considers the question.
"It'd be a tempting offer but no I wouldn't, I mean, wait, fuck." She says, the others look at her concerned, "No you guys! I wouldn't, but I am probably in a position easily manipulated into doing it." She concedes, "So how do I go back to the light?" She asks saying the last word extremely sardonically.
"Well, first step is to let go of your hatred." Mic begins to say.
"And I've failed." Arl says.
"Arlie…" Mace begins to say but she cuts him off.
"No fuck that Winni! My burning seething hatred and anger is my only link to my old life. I don't want to let that go."
"So you're willing to screw up this one as well?" He replies instantly. "Arlie, you have other emotions tying you to your old life, your anger and your hatred are overshadowing them. But I've seen you look back in fondness, amusement, and love. Don't let that all fall away."
"Fine, how do I do this?"
They spend the rest of the night either meditating, talking through different topics, or getting yelled at by Arlie in a fit of rage as they try to work through her anger. Eventually they move to sit on the floor leaning against the back of the couch and staring at the wall, or in Micah's case the door which was oddly still closed from earlier.
That's how they are when the door chimes.
"It's just Tahl." Arlie informs them, "She's just heard about Xanatos and is coming to tell us how sorry she is, Adi will turn up at some point too. I'll make tea and get the door." She then gets up and opens the door.
"Padawan Aa, I just heard, I'm so sorry." Tahl tells her, Arl steps aside to allow her in leaving the door open out of habit.
"Please, have a seat with the others. I was just making tea would you like some?" She asks sounding completely worn out and probably looking it too. Considering how they had all spent the night they all look like zombies and Arlie thinks there is probably visible tear tracks on her face. (I suppose that's easily explained under the circumstances though.)
"I'd love one, thank you dear." Tahl replies smiling kindly as she moves to sit opposite the others.
As was predicted Adi turned up a few minutes later and silently takes her seat creating a half circle as she did before with the tea in the middle.
"I um, I've decided to take Initiate Eerin as my padawan, assuming she agrees." Tahl informs them breaking the silence.
"She will, she really looks up to you, has read a bunch of your research papers in her spare time and referenced your work on more than one occasion in her course work." Garen tells her with a smile, "But please don't tell her I told you that."
"I won't, though it is flattering." Tahl tells him, like before no one bothered with titles or ranks in this time, they were people grieving a lost friend.
"I want you guys to know that I'm voting to try and help him." Adi tells them before Arl can tell Tahl what Xan said.
"As am I." Micah says making Arlie smile gratefully at him, she feels tears start rolling down her face as she starts thinking about what will happen if their plans fail, if all of them fail, she can't go through that again. Garen grabs her hand pulling her out of her own head, she smiles gratefully at him. It was hard to believe really, that the boy before her could fall so far as to attack his own friends. She had tried to get him to come back just as he now was trying to get her to, she wasn't sure if that made her want to more or less.
"Xan mentioned to Garen and I during the celebration dinner that he thought you and Bant would make a good pair, he noticed during the dinner and from stories Garen told later that you two would work well together." Arlie informed Tahl with a smile that showed the thought of her friend had not made her any sadder than she was, she wanted Tahl to know this, it was important that they remember he cared for them.
"Yeah but to be fair that was the same time he said…uh…nothing." Garen stumbles awkwardly after glancing at both her Master and his own, the two Masters in question look at each other and their padawans in confusion, Arlie valiantly tries and then fails to hold back the eye roll.
"Smooth." She says before cringing internally as she realises she's quoting now too.
"Oh shut up asshole." Garen replies instantly earning a few chuckles.
"Did you just call a seven-year-old an asshole?" Adi asks looking disapproving but there was a light in her eyes suggesting she thought it was hilarious.
"Okay first of all, she's nearly eight, and second of all, she deserved it." Garen defends, Arlie can't remember exactly what he said last time but she's pretty sure it had to do with eating his lightsaber, in any case, the change lifted her spirits, if only because any change was good change for now.
"She is sitting right here you know." Arl tells him with a smile.
Later they head into the council chamber and stand/sit in their appropriate places collectively bracing themselves for the verdict. Unsurprisingly Saesee and Yarael both vote in favour of murder or 'following the code' as they put it. Shaak Tiin and Ki-Adi-Mundi also vote for the code, Depa, Adi, Plo, Eeth, Even, and Yoda all voted to save, the last of which surprised everyone except Arl.
"Given your opinion of him I'm surprised you were expecting that." Mace questions.
"He tried for a century to get the rules changed, he didn't last time because no one would back him up but me and he didn't see the point in dividing the Jedi, now he has the support needed." Arlie explains, he seems satisfied with the answer.
"All right then, so assuming we find him, how do we help him?" Master Ti asks.
"We guide him in the right direction as we do troubled padawans." Master Gallia tells them.
"That won't work, if those teachings were going to help him he wouldn't have fallen." Master Mundi argues.
"Maybe he just needs a reminder?" Master Koon offers weakly.
"Tell them 'Xanatos is grieving and made a mistake, he can't think straight and now feels he has no home and no one to turn to. All we have to do is be ready to be those people, everything else will fall in place as the force wills it to.'" Arlie tells her Master who repeats it word for word.
"I suppose that makes sense." Master Poof begrudgingly accepts, Master Tiin merely grunts his agreement.
After the meeting, everyone moves off fairly quickly, Micah and Garen join Mace and Arlie back in their quarters.
"Where'd that come from?" Micah asks Mace who smiles proudly at his Padawan.
"From someone who could truly sell Ice to a Hothian." Mace replies, Arlie snickers, Micah laughs.
"We still have a few problems you know." Garen says from the kitchen where he is making himself a sandwich, Arlie is honestly very happy that Garen and Micah have all but moved in again.
"Such as?" Micah asks, he's not sure when, but at some point, he began thinking of both Arlie and Garen as Jedi Knights or Masters and not as the Padawans at least one of them was. He's not sure if that's a good or a bad thing.
"Well fo un." He says around a mouthful of sandwich before indicating he's going to finish it before continuing for which they are all relieved. "For one, how long until Obi would have met Xanatos? Also, we still have the problem of our friend over on the dark side there, but my biggest worry is how much damage Xan may do between now and then that could change the council's mind."
"A little over a year." Arlie admits keeping a carefully blank face. "Oh Master, you and your stupid protective instincts are just fanfuckingtabulous." Arlie snarls as she begins to pace back and forth in an angry stalk.
"What have I done or not yet done now? Gods what is our lives." Mace says as he runs a hand over his face.
"Well for one you're developing a stress tick." Micah adds unhelpfully before mimicking Mace's movement, Mace scowls when he realises Mic is right.
"What you did is not want me to know about stuff involving Xan so I have no idea if he did anything throughout the year. Either he didn't or my Masters succeeded in keeping it from me which would not surprise me because they were devious little shits when working together." Arlie says as she continues pacing.
"Masters?" Micah asks confused, Garen rolls his eyes.
"She means you genius." Micah smiles happily at his Padawan's words, both of them.
"Hey on wait, I saw him on my eighth birthday. In the shopping strip, he was in an alleyway and we spoke. That's a month away, knowing he can come home, maybe when I see him I'll be able to convince him to return." Arl theorises.
"That's assuming he shows." Garen adds earning a glare, he puts his hands up in surrender as he continues, "I just mean that stuff has changed. We've no way of knowing that he will show up until he does."
"I think for the moment our biggest priority needs to be you Arl, you can't help anyone in the state you're in. You say you've dealt with fallen Jedi before?" Mic asks, she nods while scowling, "Well, then you know where this path leads." She nods again.
"Alright, letting go of my hatred right?" She asks, the others nod.
"I really wish we weren't in a Jedi temple for this." Micah says, Arl looks thoughtful.
"I can put shielding around the quarters so that they won't feel anything in here? It also means they won't know anyone is in here." Arl tells them, they exchange surprised looks but Mace nods for her to do so. "Done." She says once she's felt the energy cover the room.
"Okay then, easy starting point. Arlie, what do you hate and why?" Micah asks, Mace rubs his hands over his face uncaring of the tick as several glasses in the kitchen shatter. "Or perhaps a slightly less direct approach?"
"Direct is good, everything at once probably not so much. Let's just start more specifically, Arlie, tell me about Vader. Who is he? What did he do? Why do you hate him and when did that start?" Mace tries, she seems even more angry and starts pacing again but nothing broke.
"He destroyed my brother's soul and tore apart everything he'd tried so hard to build. He came to the temple with a platoon that was supposed to be on our side and they slaughtered everyone inside, he personally slaughtered the younglings and then he saw me. I came running in to help and he was standing over them, he told me he was sorry and walked away leaving me alive. He knelt before the fucking Sith. I hate him for taking my brother from me, I hate him for taking all of them from me, I hate him for leaving me alive that day, I hate him because he killed my love in front of me and because even afterwards he still wouldn't fight me. I hate that he survived when I tried to kill him and I hate that I survived after that. I hate him so so much because, because…I love him so much it hurts." Arlie finally says dropping to her knees and sobbing, the other three are quite confused though they rush over to her. Mace wraps his arms around her as the other two put a hand on her leg/arm in support. "I love him and he betrayed me, he betrayed all of us. I hate him because he was my brother, and he wouldn't hate me too." She says as she breaks apart.
"Oh Arlie." Mace says his voice filled with anguish, her own brother did this.
"He-He killed his wife while she was pregnant with their twins. But he wouldn't fight me even when I said I wouldn't fight back, not even when I directly threatened his life. He killed his wife, thought he killed his kids, he caused my Master to die and he killed my best friend. I gave up so much for him and he drove me to jump off of a fucking building. I miss him so much and I love him so much and I want him back. One day he'll be here as well and I'll have to face him, he'll be young and innocent and done none of it but I'll remember how he looked as he stood over a pile of Jedi bodies. I'll remember him killing my half-deranged friend." She looks at her master's face as tears continue falling down hers, "I don't want to become like my love did. My brother, he became a Sith but my best friend, he fell. His Padawan was killed by the same man that murdered Xanatos and he fell. He attacked our people when they got in between him and his revenge. I hate so much and it's horrible." She tells them, they just continue to hold her. Even as she remembers Mace's death, Garen's fall, and Micah on the farm they hold her grounding her to the here and now. None of it happened and she would make damn sure it never did because there was something she could do far better than she could hate. She could love.
"You have the greatest capacity to love that I have ever seen in anyone, including the force. Don't ever lose that."