"Should we get a place in LA?"
We're eating breakfast at the table and you're crunching on your Lucky Charms or some other sugary cereal like it's no big deal and you look up at me with the spoon halfway to your mouth, milk dripping back into the bowl.
I can see the puzzlement in your eyes. It takes you a moment before a, "What?" pops out.
The spoon stays in the air.
"I think we should get a place in LA, B."
"Ohhhkay." Your eyebrow is raised as you take the spoonful of cereal into your mouth. You munch and munch and don't really answer. It's making me nervous. You're making me nervous. You must sense the tension rising around me, because you grab my hand and squeeze it. "Baby, why do you want a place in LA? You don't really like LA…"
"Well, with the whole CelebDance thing you're going to be out there for however many months while it films and I just think it would be nice not to be separated. We wouldn't have to take turns flying across the country."
You chuckle and take another bite of your cereal, "Baby…they're gonna give me housing."
"I know they're going to provide housing, Britt. That's not the point."
"Well if they give me housing you can just come and stay with me there and then whenever my time is up we can come back home. Or you can fly and stay whenever you want. I'm probably going to be really busy all the time, rehearsing a new number with an amateur every week is going to be hellish."
My heart sinks.
I take a sip of my coffee, the bitter flavor doing nothing to wash away the way my idea was so unceremoniously dropped.
"Ok." My voice is quiet. Maybe we'll talk about this again, maybe not.
XX
I hear you finish up on the phone with your manager in the living room as I'm loading the dishwasher. You sound excited to start this new adventure. I'm excited for you too, baby. This is going to be so great for your career as a choreographer. I already know how amazing you are and so does your company, but this show…this show is going to open so many more doors for you. It's going to launch you into the next level.
And I can't wait.
You bounce into the kitchen as I place the last wine glass in the dishwasher and hug me from behind, "This is going to be so much fun, Santana!"
I giggle at your exuberance and spin around in your arms, catching you off guard with a quick kiss. Your lips are stiff with surprise but quickly melt into me. I pull away with a loud smack and wrap my arms around your neck.
"I can't wait for the world to see you, Britt-Britt."
Your arms around me feel so good and your scent invades my senses and I swoon for the billionth time in your arms. I'm just so proud of you, baby.
And, because I'm overwhelmed with all things you and the thought of being away from you for months at a time makes me sick, I bring up our conversation from the other day.
"Baby?"
"Yeah?"
"Why did you shoot me down so quick when I mentioned getting a place in LA?"
You step back from me but keep your arms on mine, looking into my eyes. I miss your warmth immediately. I know this look, the one you're giving me right now. You're studying my face, trying to see if I meant what I said.
"San…"
"No, really?"
"Because I know you don't really like LA and I don't want you to do this just because I'm going to be there and then be miserable and end up resenting the choice."
I bristle a bit at your explanation. "Brittany…"
You must be able to sense my anger rising, because you lean in and peck my lips again, soft and sure.
"Really Santana."
"This isn't something that just came to my mind that I haven't thought through though, Britt. Think about it, I can work on my next album out there and you can come home to a home, to me, every night after long hard days of dance and teaching and cameras, and we can be us. Together. You're probably going to be on the show for a while…I mean, you're such a great choreographer and then if they hire you back, we'll have a place there already."
"Santana…" I can see your resolve melting.
"Baby, we're married now. This is our life, together. It's you and me. I don't want to spend weeks apart like that anymore, not with you across the country, not if there's an easy fix."
"Sometimes I don't really know what I did to get you in my life."
"Ditto, babe."
You kiss me again and it's magical. Your eyes are sparkling when we pull apart, and I'm dizzy from your mouth on mine.
"Can we talk about this again in a day or two? I want us to really think about everything, ok?"
I just have to kiss you again, so I pull your bottom lip between my own. You're breathless when I break the kiss, "Sure, sweetie."
XX
You're climbing into bed after a long day of dance and then phone calls with agents and managers and television networks. I can see the exhaustion on your bones as you slide under the sheets. You curl up to me immediately and snuggle in, your head on my shoulder and your arm clutching for life around me.
You take a deep breath and your lungs expand under my hand and I can feel every bit of you.
"Let's do it."
"B, you're exhausted…"
You giggle against me, "Not it, San… let's do it, let's get a place in LA."
I laugh out loud at my mistake and squeal with happiness, "Really?!"
"Yes. I hate the thought of climbing into bed this tired and not having you there with me."
"Oh, so now you're just using me for bed warming and snuggles?"
"You know that's why I married you, right?"
"Of course, how could I forget."
You sit up on your elbow to look at me, really look at me. It scares me how much you can tell just from my eyes, but it feels so good at the same time.
"There's one condition though…"
"What's that?
"I don't want to live there permanently. I want our home base to be here, in New York. I want to raise our kids here and live here when we don't have commitments there."
At that I have to smile, because I don't want that either, "I never intended that, B."
"You didn't?"
"No, baby. I just thought it would be cool to have a second base. Be bicoastal like all those celebs."
You snort with laughter and lean down to kiss me, "You do have a weakness for those bicoastals I guess."
We kiss for a moment before you sigh and sink back down into me. The feeling of your weight on mine settles me.
"Why didn't you say that before?"
"Say what?"
"That you didn't want to move there permanently…"
"Oh, um I guess I just thought it was implied."
You laugh again, "S, just because I can read your mind doesn't mean I can read your mind."
I laugh and snuggle you harder into my body, "I know, B. I know."
A/N: Thank you everyone! I've been getting some lovely private messages and your reviews and kind words always make me blush!