Disclaimer – I do not own BMT world, it belongs to Trudi Canavan
An Unexpected Meeting
It was still dark, the Eye had set long ago, but Sonea's eyes had grown so used to the absence of light, she could distinguish the shadows of furniture as darker patches in the darkness of her bedchamber. She was lying, curled up against Akkarin, her head resting on his chest, listening to the steady beating of his heart. She didn't want to move and break the feeling of connection she had with him. It had been so long since they had lain like this and she didn't want to end it, because it may be a long time before they were together again.
Their lovemaking had been urgent and full of desire, as if the lack of it in recent times had somehow fuelled their passion. It was almost worth the absence, she thought, smiling inwardly, but not quite. She had tried to enter his mind, to experience the extra pleasure she had discovered before, but she found that his defences were firmly in place and entry was denied her.
Afterwards, he had held her close and she had fallen asleep cradled in his arms. Sleep had not lasted long, however, and she had spent the time since then reliving each element of their coupling so as to carefully store every delicious moment in her memory.
So where were you, Sonea? Akkarin's mental voice whispered through her consciousness with a suddenness which made her start.
I told you, in the passages. She hoped he could not hear the thread of tension in her words.
A pale globelight appeared, casting soft light among the darkness. She felt rather than saw Akkarin's intent gaze and strengthened her defences in case he tried to read her surface thoughts.
She heard his ghostly laughter, Ah, but you didn't say where in the passages and that's the most important part….
She sat up, trying to give herself time to think. He would be persistent, so it actually came down to whether or not she told him about where she had really been now, or later. This is silly, she thought, we are on the same side here!
"If you really want to know," she said quietly, "I went back to the Residence."
She had a moment of triumph as a look of surprise gleamed in his eyes; whatever he had been expecting her to say, that wasn't it. "The Residence" he said slowly, "and did you go in?"
A cheeky grin spread across her face, "Yes I did. I unworked both your locks and overcame the mood spell. It was easy!"
Again, he almost, but not quite, suppressed surprise at her words, "Unworked my locks, did you? I must have made an error."
She smiled slowly, "No, you are a good teacher and I learned well."
"So, what did you discover?"
She began to tell him of the lists of names, but he brushed that aside quickly, urging her to describe more interesting finds. She told him of the reports from Balkan's spies, the endless pages of them, the carefully noted names, dates and times. Akkarin looked thoughtful.
"There have been mumblings amongst some of the Warriors, mainly, I have to say amongst the older ones, about being used to spy on their fellow magicians. They find it demeaning," he murmured.
"The lists I found seem to be compiled mainly by newly qualified magicians."
"Yes, Balkan is popular among the younger Warriors, mainly because he has given them a lot of extra privileges. They do his bidding without question and these make up the majority of his spies. I've tried to gently suggest that spying on their fellows does not fit with the Warrior Code, but have had little success. I'm regarded with deep suspicion, understandably, so progress is almost non-existent."
Finally, he's talking to me about his work, she thought with satisfaction, now how to encourage more of his revelations?
"How is the training working out?" she asked. "How many Warriors have you had coming to your sessions?" She hadn't quite given up hope of being allowed to join in.
But Akkarin was too wily to be led on through questioning and he returned a non-committal answer, asking her instead about her investigations in Balkan's study. She was in two minds about revealing the additional list she had found under his desk. If he won't let me in on his plans, why should I tell him about mine?
She was aware of just how childish that sounded, but she had her pride after all and she needed something positive to do. The smaller list would remain her secret and she would devote her energies to finding out what it meant. Why Irun? That was the question she needed to answer.
Akkarin slid from the bed and slipped on his clothes. "I must return to my rooms," he said softly. "I'll join you for breakfast." He kissed her and then he was gone. She tugged the bedclothes around her, trying to keep the warmth from his body close to her, but all too soon, the sense of him faded and she was truly alone again.
Sleep was impossible, so she rose and washed quickly, pulling on her black robes against the chill in the room. She lit a globelight and sat at her desk, the crumpled piece of paper with the five names spread out before her. She could understand the first three. Lorlen had been Akkarin's Administrator and worked closely with him, she had shared his exile and his life since, but why were Regin's and Irun's names on the list?
Did Balkan know of her difficulties with Regin during her noviciate? She had done all she could to keep those horrible episodes, where Regin and his friends attacked her at every opportunity, to herself. She now suspected that Akkarin had known, but had anyone else? No one had ever mentioned them to her and she was sure Regin would have kept quiet. Attacking a fellow novice outside training in the Arena was not allowed and he would have been punished if the Novice Master had found out.
And Irun? Why her? Although Sonea had met with her several times, in reality she barely knew the Healer. Perhaps the spies had reported their meetings, many of which had been in the Food Hall, so hardly in secret. She had also eaten with one or two others a couple of times, but their names weren't on the list. It was all a puzzle and she couldn't see the pattern yet. She put the paper away in her box, hidden amongst some other notes, and sealed it. She would return to the list later on, and perhaps things would slot into place better.
ooo000ooo
She was idly playing with the remains of her mid-day meal, pushing the lumps of meat and vegetables around her plate, lost in thought, when a shadow fell over her table and she looked up. For a moment, she didn't recognise the Healer standing there, then a smile lit up her face.
"Dorrien!" she said cheerfully, "What are you doing here?"
He slid into the seat next to her and regarded her closely, "When Rothen told me you were back, I couldn't believe it," he said quietly. Sonea's smile died, Dorrien looked so stern and there was no warmth in his voice.
She tried to keep things light, "Why not? I have the King's pardon, and where else should a Guild magician be, but in the Guild?"
Dorrien said nothing for a moment, but kept staring at her, as if trying to discover something. Finally he said, "I don't know why the King pardoned you, or him for that matter, but it's not right and you know it."
"What do you mean?"
"Vows are vows and you broke yours. Black magic is forbidden. You knew that but still you learned it. Why? That's what I've thought about all these years, why would a young girl decide to learn something so forbidden that all references to it were destroyed?"
Sonea sighed. She had forgotten just how serious Dorrien could be and, to be fair to him, it was a difficult thing to explain, but she had to try.
"I needed to help Akkarin. He was fighting the Ichani on his own for years, and sooner or later, he would have not been able to stop them by himself. That's why."
"Akkarin!" Dorrien made no effort to hide his contempt. "It's all about him, isn't it? Rothen told me the whole story about why you went to live at the Residence. I felt sorry for you, all alone in that place with just him for company. But it wasn't like that, was it? How long did it take until he had you in his bed? A month? Two months? A year? How long before you were truly his creature in every possible way?"
The bitterness in his voice surprised her, until she remembered how close they had once been. "Dorrien, it wasn't like that. Akkarin behaved very properly towards me, he followed all the rules a Guardian should….."
"All the rules, Sonea?" Dorrien interrupted harshly. "Forgive me, but I am not familiar with the one which said teach your Novice forbidden magic and put her at risk of execution!"
"Dorrien…."
"And since then," he went on doggedly, "you've stayed with him. All these years when you had the chance to get away from him and make a life for yourself, you stayed!" He reached across and grabbed her wrist in a punishing grip, leaning towards her until they were almost touching noses. "Did he compel you? Is that it, a compulsion to keep you close to do his bidding in all things?"
"Don't be ridiculous, Dorrien!" she said sharply. "What I did was for the best of reasons, the protection of the Guild, just like Akkarin. As to why I stayed, the Guild sent us into exile hoping we would be killed by the Ichani. They sent us with nothing, not even an eating knife between us. To survive, we needed to work together, and it wasn't easy, but survive we did. We came back to fight the Ichani. They were not just our enemies, Dorrien, they were the Guild's enemies, the Allied Lands' enemies and we defeated them. Things like that forge a strong bond and that's why I stayed."
Throughout her impassioned speech, Dorrien stared at her, a growing look of distaste in his eyes. As she finished, he suddenly released her wrist, as if it had stung him, and sat back in his chair as if her mere presence would tarnish him. "You are not the girl I thought you were, Sonea. To think I wanted to spend my life with you, marry you, have children with you, when all the while, you were someone else entirely." He got up and turned to go, but then turned back, "I never want to see you again. You're despoiled, Sonea, a black magician's creature, not fit to be here!"
She felt herself grow pale, but kept her composure with difficulty. She watched him take a step away from her table, then he turned towards her for the last time, "Get out and take your master with you!" he hissed.
Red hot anger boiled up inside her and words just erupted from her mouth, "Akkarin didn't want to come back here but I persuaded him to return. Oh how I wish we had left you all to stew in your own juice! Take care how you treat me, Dorrian. After all I am a powerful black magician, and according to you, the epitome of evil!"
She had the satisfaction of seeing his face pale as he hurried away, but even that couldn't quell the misery welling up inside. First Rothen and now his son, the two people who had been so kind to her and who would have welcomed her into their family, both despised her. She had no allies there.
She looked up to see that many had witnessed the incident with Dorrien. Most of her audience were clearly unsympathetic and many openly mocking. She had to get away from them. She forced herself to walk slowly and proudly to the doors, her face expressionless. Once outside she had a momentary panic about where to go to get away from the hostility everywhere. Then it came to her, there was only once place.
It didn't take her long to find her old thinking place, out near the rocks. It had been years since she had needed it and it was rather like putting on a comfortable pair of old shoes. She sank to the ground, her back against a convenient rock and closed her eyes, letting the peace of the place calm her down. Time passed, she didn't know how much, but it was so tranquil simply sitting in the sun, just letting her mind float. The shadows moved around her and still she sat, reluctant to return.
Sonea? Where are you? Akkarin's mental voice was so soft she barely heard it and doubted anyone else would have either. She had no energy to reply. What was the point? He would find her sooner or later, she was sure. She continued to sit, eyes closed, listening to the sounds of birds and the light breeze rustle the leaves. It was rather sooner than she'd thought when she heard the crunch of boots along the overgrown path.
She opened her eyes as the familiar black clad figure emerged into the clearing. He came over and sat down at her side. He said nothing and she glanced at him a little anxiously, wondering why he had sought her out.
"I've been looking for you," he murmured and took hold of her hand.
It was this gesture which undid her and she felt tears begin to slide down her cheeks. She turned to him, "You were right, Akkarin, and I was so very wrong!"
A crooked smile crossed his lips and he looked rather smug as he said, "I usually am. What was I right about this time?"
"We should never have come back. You didn't want to, but I insisted and here we are beating our heads against a solid wall of hostility and suspicion. Nothing is going right and I can't see how we can deal with it all."
"What's happened to make you feel this way?"
"Dorrien! And you were right about him too. He despises me and hates you."
Akkarin laughed, a rich, warm, laugh full of good humour, "You're such an innocent in many ways. Of course he feels like that, he did want to marry you after all and you rejected him for a rather disreputable much older man. What did you expect, that he'd welcome you back to the Guild with open arms and let bygones be bygones?"
In spite of herself, she began to laugh too. Trust Akkarin to put everything into perspective. She gave a little tug on his hand and he opened his arms. She settled herself against him and gave a little sigh of something rather like happiness. They stayed like that for a while and Sonea let her eyes close again and her thoughts drift in more pleasant directions.
After a while, she murmured, "Why did you want to find me?"
"We've been summoned by the King."
She sat up suddenly, "The King has asked to see both of us?"
"Well, no, the summons was for me, but I shall not go without you. Merin needs to understand we are working together on this."
She felt a warm glow of satisfaction at this recognition that she was playing her part in trying to mend the Guild, not that she could see she'd actually done much yet, but at least Akkarin recognised she had a job to do. "When does the King expect us?"
"After the formal reception at the Palace this evening. We are to arrive unseen and will be conducted to his private apartments. I'll meet you by the stables two hours after our evening meal. Now go back to your rooms, I will follow in a few minutes."