Open Wounds

by 216BLT

AU: The past is the past. Puck, Santana, & Rachel Corcoran have moved on from theirs, but when their mother decides to take in a teen, old memories resurface. Also, new scars are made as they navigate through adolescence, ones that might not heal.

54. Chapter 54

Guest – As sad as it is for Santana to peel back the layers – she is starting to and that is what is great about it. Santana and Joey do have a great relationship because while they fight Santana always knows if she cant go to mom Joey is there for her. Noah wanted to be a police officer is going to have a wonderful effect on his relationship with his uncle as well as his grandfather. But Shelby will always worry about her baby boy. Quinn and Joey's relationship is very similar to Santana and Joey's relationship and the bond will be strong as well. Thank you for the review. It was great to read!

GleeFanatic1988 – Glad you enjoyed – Thank you!

dolphinluver46 – I think if Shelby finds out about the tattoo that will eliminate if Quinn gets another date added to it. Shelby will not be too happy. Thanks for the review.

A C one – Two words – THANK YOU!

NinjaGleek21 – Thank you for letting Bear and Noah getting a hold of him first. The trial is probably going make you hate him even more. Thanks for reviewing.

Queen Nan – I think there are a lot of people that hope those 3 rot in jail. Thank you for loving my story and allowing me to share it. The reason they did not do a rape kit on the first attack will be addressed in this chapter but Rachel was lying and not forthcoming as to what happened and there were no marks or bruises to indicate her story was false so that is a major reason why she wasn't taken to the hospital. And even though they all felt something happened Rachel denied it. Reviews make me know that people are still reading and enjoying it.

lovecanbesostrange – I am sorry I didn't mean to toy with your feelings that badly. Santana grew a lot with Elyse but she still has so much more to learn and let out so it was a great therapy session. It helps tremendously that Elyse has known this family for so long and yet she can treat the girls all differently. She is a great therapist and she is worth her money. Quinn's issues are incredibly deep and will take years to even all come to the surface. She basically has been told her whole life by people that are supposed to love you unconditionally that she was unwanted and that she was trash so she has to relearn almost everything. Her first reaction to everything will be tested. Joey loves them so much and they are so relaxed around her – and that is part of the reason she is so good for them. If or when Kate comes back it may be both good and bad because she will be just as nervous around the kids and that will affect their relationship as well. I highly doubt that Santana or Quinn has masturbated yet and Quinn is actually going to have to have a sex talk with Shelby sooner or later. Rachel will begin to have one here but these girls need professionals to help them as well as mom due to their past experiences. It will not be easy. Finally Noah while starting to look like a man – still is Shelby's baby boy and they will always need their special time and talks. I am so glad you are so involved in the story and I love your reviews. Thank you so much.

Lolathe17th – Shelby is very much needed by all the girls but it was good to show them that they can be away from her for a night or two. It wont happen a lot and especially not for a while but it was good. Rachel was too young to know Leroy so she only can imagine him. Thanks you for the review.

Abbie – Shelby is very loving and caring. Don't worry about not reviewing – although I do love reviews very very much.

Bookworm0485 – In this story Quinn is 16 so she does very much mind that Quinn got that tattoo and based on her health and her foster status and her forgery Quinn will have a lot of explaining to do. The trial is going to be tough and you will get a glimpse of what it will be like in this chapter. Thank for reviewing.

Fangirl44 – Thank you for reviewing. I try to update faster but life always seems to be getting in the way lately – sorry about that.

Renata – I am so glad you enjoyed this chapter. They have all made little steps and right now we are starting to see Santana grow a little more. All of them have self esteem issues and all of them will continue to need counseling and a lot of it. Tina hasn't appeared yet but you will see Kurt re-appear in this chapter. I am not sure about Tina yet. Thank you so much for your comments. They are too nice. Thank you for reviewing.

littleredwritinggleek – Kate may or may not try and reach out again. It is very hard on families and she is indeed missing out on their lives. It is truly her loss. I think you are correct about Shelby's reaction to Quinn's tattoo. You are also correct that it is a giant step for Santana to admit she needs help. The road ahead is tough but they will all journey on it together. Thanks for the review.

Scout88 – Santana is angry and because she is angry she cusses and lashes out because that is the way she tries to cope – similar to Quinn who when she is angry she reverts into herself – they both are only 16 years old and need therapy to find other ways to express their anger and displeasure with a situation and that will come with time and age. You will see Shelby's reaction to the tattoo in this chapter. Quinn unfortunately due to her breaking some rules again may have limited access to any friends for a while. While Shelby knows and appreciates that she is going through a very trying and tough time she needs to reign her in and make sure she doesn't go too far. There is no way really that Quinn can go full skank in my story because Shelby and the rest of the Corcorans are too attentive to the kids to let that happen. Perhaps Kate will come around but she is missing out and that will be her own fault. I am sorry you were frustrated with Leroy but sometimes there is a good parent and a bad parent in a loving way – one of my beta's has that – daddy is always the one that is the fun one but for important things – he is always there for mommy so its ok and that is how Leroy was – Thank you again for your awesome review you always put so much thought and detail and I love it. Thanks

OTHangels – Thank you!

Kimberlli – I didn't want them too sappy but they are needed I think. There is a little drama that happens in this chapter so get the tissues ready. Thanks for the review.

Ryoko05 – I never try forget about Noah he is so important to me I am glad you like it. Sometimes it does get tough getting these chapters out because I know what it is like when I want a story to update and its been awhile. I really do my best but sometimes you are right and life gets in the way. I hope you enjoy this chapter and thank you for your review and understanding.

marinka4 – Shelby and Noah are special to me. I love Noah and he needs more time with his mom. Each of the girls have different responses to Elyse and that's what makes Elyse's job difficult at times. Thanks so much for the review.

Yay – I am glad I made your day. You made mine by reviewing. Yes Shelby has said she has always wanted to adopt Quinn so she is going to try to do it now. Rachel has a lot of questions that still need to be answered and addressed when it comes to down there. She has been sick a while now but remember it hasn't been minor things – she has lost a kidney and was attacked so it is going to take time. Aunt Kate cant handle things and it wouldn't be good for anyone if she were around right now. She may come around though. Quinn did indeed go through with the tattoo. Thank you so much for the review.

MissPuckerman – Work still exists for me too so I understand more than you know. Thank you for your kind words. Quinn has had a lot of drama but unfortunately she is going to have more because we still have the trial to go through. Thank you for the review.

thelastcenturian – I am glad you enjoyed the little pieces of Leroy that I am able to add in. Thank you for reviewing.

look4me – You may cry for Quinn again this chapter I'm afraid. If Quinn changes her name and gets adopted by Shelby she will indeed be Corcoran – not any other name. You will see Shelby's reaction to the tattoo this chapter. I hope I don't disappoint you. I am glad you liked the flashback and yes it does happen a lot at McDonalds with kids. I am so happy that you love the story and my dream is to be published one day. Thank you for reviewing – it keeps me focused and wanting to write.

FlatWeasley – Thank you – I loved the trailer as well. It was perfect! Thanks for the review.

xX – Shelby's reaction to the tattoo is in this chapter – Quinn can't afford to be throwing up and getting sick anymore she is underweight as it is. Thank you for the review.

TommyH – My faithful fan I am glad you liked this chapter. You always review and I am very grateful so Thank you again!

broadwaybound2016 – Rachel will always be the baby but she does have to grow a little to protect herself and her family and she will but it will take time. I try to update as fast as I can but work and life gets in the way and I can't just throw chapters together – I need to be focused so I am so grateful for your continued patience. I hope you enjoy this chapter. Thank you so much for the review.

Chapter 54

Thank you thank you! I want to thank amandaes417 and pcall006 for your feedback! Thank you! Thanks as always with a never ending thanks to my two awesome betas! I appreciate it so so much. I would be lost without you and you know it... legit!

The weekend passed too quickly and Shelby found herself staring out the window Monday morning as her stomach gurgled with dread. Was she making the right choice by keeping her children in school? Or should she have kept the older ones at home with Holly too? And what about work? She was still able to do a few evaluations here and there over the past month or so now that her family was there to help watch the kids. She was able to sustain her contract with her department, but for how much longer? Would things have to get even worse before they got better? She shook her head. Things were better now. Perhaps, she would be able to get back to work, at least on a more regular basis soon. She loved being home with the kids. She loved having the luxury of seeing them, but she also hated the reason why she needed to be home with them all the time. She looked at her mug of coffee in thought. Rachel could barely leave the house. She shook her head. No, she's doing great, she scolded herself for doubting her daughter. Rachel would never be okay if her own mother doubted her. Kurt was coming over for a playdate this afternoon. Progress. Things were great, she told herself even though she felt as if she was bracing herself for a storm.

"What are you doing?" a voice asked behind her.

She turned and looked at her mother, who had yet another load of laundry to sort. "Mom, I can do that," she offered, though only half meaning it. She hated laundry.

"Yes, you can, but you don't want to," Helen said pointedly. "While the children sort the laundry in those bins upstairs, I've found that Noah's clothes tend to go in every pile. Perhaps I should do a lesson with him?"

"He would love that," Shelby said sarcastically with a roll of her eyes.

Holly was working with Rachel now as the older children were at school. She could hear Rachel talking quietly to her tutor about the project they were working on from the other room.

"Heard anything from the school?" Helen asked as she folded laundry.

"No," she said setting down her mug. "Don't jinx it please. We have a few more hours, then homework with Holly for the older three while Rachel has her playdate with Kurt, but we're not supposed to call it a playdate according to her because they're 'old,'...And then that woman from the court is coming over."

"Kurt? Isn't he that one boy's brother?" Helen asked.

Shelby nodded. "Rachel couldn't go over there, obviously," she said quietly. "But from what I gathered when I talked with Carole yesterday, they've been limiting Kurt's time with his brother and it's been stressful on them all, so … I think that he needs to have this time with Rach as much as she does." Shelby shook her head and looked toward the room where Rachel was working. "I just... I'm nervous for all of them. For the meeting with the ADA this afternoon, the kids at school and …. yeah... I just-"

Helen shook her head and looked at her daughter with a sigh. "You worry too much."

"How can I not?" she mumbled.

"You have to give your brain a break," Helen said quietly.

Shelby shook her head. "What I need … What we all need is to get back to our routine." She looked at her mother. "Rachel needs to get to school. I need to get back to work and... You guys need to go home."

Helen shook her head slightly. "We will see. Michael and I have talked about maybe heading down for the holidays, but …. It was your turn to host Christmas and your sister was supposed to host Thanksgiving this year and the last time she did that she pre-ordered everything. So..."

"Don't you think it's unfair that I'm having to put all this work into hosting basically both holidays because of everything going on?" Shelby asked with a frown.

"Do you want to fly your children back to Florida or eat Olive Garden for Thanksgiving?" Helen asked. "Plus we'll be here. It's not like you're doing this alone." She saw her daughter panicking. "How about your dad and I spend more time at Joey's house?"

"You'll kill each other," Shelby said.

"Maybe," Helen smiled. "But you're right. You guys need to get into a routine and maybe have the girls sleep in their own rooms, or at least have the option to."

Shelby gave a stifled laugh. "Let's not push it," she said with a weak smile.

"Mom?" Rachel called from the dining room interrupting their conversation.

"Rachel, you better be on break," Shelby called back. "Both Holly and I talked to you about this. Even though we're at home doesn't mean you are not still in school."

There was a moment of silence before there was a quiet mumble and the discussion about the assignment continued.

"Knock knock."

Shelby frowned. That was a man's voice. A man's voice that wasn't her father's and wasn't her brother-in-law's and certainly wasn't her son.

She turned and saw Gus standing half in and half out of the kitchen.

"Uh... Hi," Shelby said almost dropping her cup. Did she brush her hair today? She looked casually at her reflection in the microwave. Nope. Messy bun and yoga pants. Sexy, Shelby thought. Gah...Sex? Seriously, Shelby? Focus, you're taking too long he's going to think you are delayed. "What are you doing here?"

"Um..." Gus pulled a bakery bag from behind his back. "Pie. Apple, right?"

Fuck yes, yoga pants forever; lifetime alone. Check. "Thanks," Shelby said with a mild smile taking the pie. "Um... you stopped by to give me pie?"

"No," he laughed coming into the kitchen. "I was looking for Bear. He said he was working from home?"

"Is that a question?" Shelby chuckled. She shook her head. "He's not here. Technically he has his own home, you know?"

Gus frowned. "Joey said that he was here..."

She hardened her face and raised her eyebrow. "I'm sure she did," she mumbled as she put two and two together in her head. She shook her head. "They're both not here."

"What are you doing here?" Rachel asked from behind Shelby.

"Hi, Rachel," he smiled.

"Rachel, what did I just say?" Shelby said, slightly annoyed.

"Mumma, I'm getting water. Holly said okay," she said quietly.

"Quickly please," Shelby said handing her daughter a glass.

Rachel went the refrigerator and slowly filled her glass in the dispenser in the door.

"Why are you here?" she asked again. She spotted the bakery bag and spoke again before he could answer. "You brought my mom pie?"

He smiled. "How'd you know?"

She shrugged. "My mom likes pie. Did you bring her apple pie?" He nodded. "That's her favorite." She searched his face and then reached into the refrigerator to put ice cubes into her glass. Slowly, much to Shelby's annoyance.

"Rachel," Shelby said with a sigh. "That's enough ice. Go back in with Holly."

Rachel put one last ice cube in and then closed the refrigerator. She went to the man and waved her hand toward her, motioning for him to come closer. He leaned down and rested his hands on his knees. Shelby watched with further anxiety as Rachel spoke to him quietly but then also felt a hint of pride, realizing her child was interacting with him without hesitation. He smiled and nodded as she started out of the room.

"Like I said," Shelby said watching Rachel disappear back into the dining room. "They're not here."

"Who isn't?" Joey said pushing past Gus and into the kitchen as she set down her things. "Oh hey!" she smiled and looked at Gus. "What are you doing here?"

"You're not coy," Shelby frowned at her sister giving her an eye roll. She turned to face Gus again, "what did she say to you?"

"Who?" Joey asked as she changed her focus to her sister.

"Not you," Shelby said, shaking off her sister and pointing towards Gus. She continued, "My kid."

Gus smiled. "She just said that you go on runs after you eat lots of pie and …..I should go on a run with you too."

Shelby frowned. "Oh..." She smiled, embarrassed.

"That is a great idea!" Joey said with too much enthusiasm.

Shelby glared at Joey and turned back to Gus attempting to soften her gaze. "Bear should be at the station." She turned to her sister. "Shouldn't he, Jo?"

Joey rolled her eyes. "Yes." She nodded at Gus. "Did you bring me pie?"

Gus laughed. "Don't hold your breath, Jo." He shook his head. "Besides, you hate pie. Whenever we all used to go out to get pie you would complain that it wasn't cake."

Shelby looked at her sister who only shrugged. "That's true."

He nodded. "Well... I'll see ya?"

Shelby nodded back. "Thanks," she said holding up her bakery bag.

"Anytime," he said as he began to walk out. He paused at the door. "We should get coffee sometime."

"She likes coffee," Joey piped up.

Shelby glared at her again and then turned back to Gus. "Sure."

He smiled. "You have my number?"

She nodded. "Yeah." He nodded at Joey. "Don't be too obnoxious, trouble," he told her as he left the house.

"What was that?" Helen said from the laundry room.

Joey smiled. "Some guy I work with," she smiled. She turned to see her sister's furious look. "What?"

"What?" Shelby mocked. "What are you doing? I don't need to be set up and certainly not now," she added quietly, hinting toward the dining room. "What the hell was that?"

Joey set down her briefcase. "Calm down," she said with a slight roll of her eyes. "It's just this guy I work with, Mom. Both of us do. Technically, he works with Bear but..." She shrugged and leaned on the counter to be closer to her sister. "You were so sad this weekend. Seeing Leroy did that to you."

Shelby frowned. "I didn't see him," she said quietly. "I saw a slab of marble with his name etched into it."

"You know what I mean," Joey said with a sigh. "It's one of the reasons you moved from New York. It was too hard for you."

Shelby scoffed. "Also, Noah and Santana were kicked out of school and -"

Joey waved off the comment. "You know that's not the only reason so stop pretending that it is." She looked at her sister honestly. "You were sad this weekend because it opened up too much with him. You had three children with your best friend." She leaned forward and whispered, "The last one was an accident and we all know it."

Shelby glared at her. "You better not tell my kid that."

"She's knows," Joey said going on with a shrug. Shelby began to shake her head and glare at her, but Joey began talking before Shelby could spit out her angry words. "Anyway, you had three children... a marriage where you were mostly his beard instead of his wife and then you guys broke it off and you had a strange twisted divorced relationship. And then... well he had a civil union granted by the state of New York to a man that ruined all of our lives."

Shelby looked at her sister and shook her head with another scoff. She put her hands up. "I can't deal with you right now."

"It's the truth," Joey stated, casually.

"Yeah," she hissed. "So is the Holocaust, but it doesn't make rehashing all the details any less painful and difficult." She sighed.

Joey looked at her. "Did you just compare your marriage to the Holocaust?"

Shelby groaned in frustration. "I can't with you right now," she said in frustration. "I just can't."

"Girls, please stop bickering you're giving me a headache," Helen said from the laundry room.

Shelby sighed and opened the bakery bag and began to eat the pie. "What are you doing here?" she frowned. "I thought you worked."

"I thought you did too," Joey snapped. She sighed and opened her briefcase. "I told Alicia that you would be here and we could talk before she comes this afternoon." She saw Shelby's uncertain gaze. "Alicia is one of the lawyers working with us against Schuester's case." she clarified.

Shelby sighed. "I …. need to change." She rolled her eyes. "And eat pie." She shook her head. "She can stay after to talk to me if she needs later tonight. I have an afternoon. I still need to get ready, pick up the kids and get Rachel ready for her playdate -" Shelby rolled her eyes. "Rachel wants to call it a meeting. She thinks playdate is for little kids."

Joey frowned. "Um, no." She shook her head at her sister. "You know just as well as I do that it will take you two minutes to scarf down that pie. Plus it doesn't take you long to get ready and you have a few hours until the kids get out of school."

"No, Joey," she hissed. "I don't want to. Not right now. I don't have time. She can talk to me later."

"Well..." Joey muttered. "I …. um... "

The doorbell rang.

"Joey," Shelby growled. "Take her into the study. You talk to her. I need to get ready and then I need to pick the kids up from school. You can't just drop this on me!"

"She insisted," Joey said again. She looked at her solemnly. "There are some things we need to go over before we talk to the kids."

"I can't describe how not in the mood I am for this," Shelby said.

Joey nodded. "Quite frankly neither am I." She stepped forward. "You have to have this talk before we talk with the kids with Alicia."

"Found her outside ringing the doorbell," Bear interrupted the sister's conversation, leading a woman around Shelby's age into the house.

"Hi," Shelby said with a frown hating that she waited until the afternoon to get dressed. "I … um … excuse the appearance." She looked toward the dining room. "Let's speak upstairs." Shelby looked at her mother. "We'll be back."

"Mom?" Rachel called.

"I'll be back, bug. Finish up with Holly. Nana will fix you some lunch soon and then we'll go pick up everyone from school before Kurt comes over. " Shelby looked at her daughter and watched her look back at her with a frown. The mother gave her a small smile. "Don't worry. I'll be right back."

Rachel nodded and then Shelby led them upstairs.

"So why couldn't this wait until after you've spoken with my children?" Shelby asked once she walked into the room and closed the door behind her. She picked up the stuffed animal and Rachel's pajamas that were still on the bed from the morning after Shelby helped her put on the cream. She looked at the suited woman who had yet to respond. She frowned as she continued, "Or after I was able to look and feel like a person," she grumbled.

"This is Alicia Towers the ADA," Bear said pointing to the woman.

Shelby shook her hand with a tight smile. "From district court?" The woman nodded. "So what's going on?"

"The prosecution is going to go after the girls pretty hard and discount their testimonies," Alicia began getting right to the point. "I understand that a rape kit was collected after the car accident on both girls?"

Shelby narrowed her eyes. "Yes, well, I don't want them to go on the stand."

"I understand that, but I do believe that the girls will be cleared to testify by the court appointed therapist and -"

The mother cut her off. "I'm sorry what?"

"I read your file. I don't want them on the stand either, but I doubt that they'll be cleared because of their past," she said simply as she crossed her arms. "The defense will go after that so we need to cover all of our bases."

"Go after what?" Shelby said with a sigh.

"The girls' past. They will make the argument that they are unfit to make these accusations because of it," Alicia said bluntly.

Shelby shook her head. "This is why you called this meeting?"

"I called it because we need to go over details of how you all handled it." She sighed. "We need to go over why you didn't file when you suspected that Rachel was first attacked." Alicia searched the mother's eyes.

Shelby gaped at her and looked at her brother-in-law and sister. "She didn't have any marks or bruises that were inconsistent with her story. She was barely letting me hold her, let alone some stranger. I wasn't going to bring her in. Plus, she had just taken a steaming hot shower. The likelihood that anything was going to be found was so minimal that it wasn't worth bringing her in that might to the advocacy center." She shook her head. "I shouldn't have to explain myself to you. I am her mother and I did what I thought was right at the time. You should know this. I made sure she went to see Elyse first thing the next day, and Elyse filed with the CPS."

"As a mandated reporter," Alicia said simply.

"Yes," Shelby said not understanding where she was going.

Alicia looked at her pointedly before she turned her focus to Bear. "You are a mandated reporter as well as the chief of police! Who was in the house when this happened?"

"Listen," Shelby said trying her best not to raise her voice. "I'm her mother first. You and I both know, we all know, that once the incident has happened and showering or days and hours have passed and on top of that the victim doesn't want to go in, the exam and the process is more traumatizing and is more for everyone else to check off a box that says no evidence was found. We all know that kids are put through these exams all the time when everyone knows they probably won't find anything. I wasn't going to put my kid through a SAIN interview, when I wasn't even sure that something happened at all. I know how this works. while SAIN interviews are designed for kids and victims, doesn't make it any easier. She insisted that nothing had happened, and I checked her over. Like I said, there weren't any marks that went against the story she told me, so I chose to believe my daughter." She shook her head. "I don't understand what the issue is."

"I understand that personally, but professionally? It looks badly," Alicia said calmly. "Yes, they had rape kits done after the accident. However, not going to the advocacy center after the first time was not beneficial." She looked at Bear. "Do you see what I'm trying to say?"

"Based on their files, you should know that putting them through a process when they're already denying anything happened was too hard. She did the right thing and had the therapist talk to her in the morning and a report was filed." He put his hand in the air as he shrugged. "What's the big deal?"

"Don't you see the hole we're digging yourself here? You didn't file originally with even the police-"

"Because we didn't know if anything happened. Filing abuse by an unknown is done all the time and its just to check off a box," Shelby said with a groan of frustration. "And they would have told us to go to the hospital or the advocacy center and get a SAIN interview done. It just wasn't something Rachel could have done. You didn't see her. You don't know my kid."

"I know I don't," Alicia said. "But please try to see that by not bringing her in because she was too fragile to even go through the process makes my argument harder. You shielded Rachel. Wouldn't that mean that she's so fragile that she could have taken a safe, friendly touch as inappropriate?" She looked at the other adults. "This is what they're going to argue." She watched them slowly understand what she was saying. "We need these girls, Quinn and Rachel, to be one hundred percent honest with us. That means that we can't coddle them." She looked at Bear. "You're the chief of police."

"I am her uncle. She was denying it. I wasn't going to open a formal investigation. I went and talked to him and their stories were the same. I knew I couldn't act on that. There's nothing I could have done. I wasn't going to put her through something that we just suspected. You see it everyday. There's only so much you can pry a kid before you do more damage. You get why we did what we did. You're just twisting it in the slightest way to make it look bad."

"You don't think that's how Schuester's lawyer is going to spin this?"

Shelby frowned and looked at her sister for guidance. "What the hell?" She shook her head. "I get it. I do. But... Why are you telling me this now?"

Joey looked at her gently. "She's telling us this because she's not going to coddle the kids this afternoon when she speaks to them...and she needs our cooperation."

The mother scoffed. "I don't coddle them!"

Alicia interrupted the sister's conversation with a challenging gaze. "You might not mean to but we may need to have some hard conversations and I need us all to be on the same page about that."

Shelby frowned as she looked back at the ADA. "Of course." She shook her head as she remembered what she was thinking earlier. It was definitely get worse before it got better.

….

Santana closed her locker. She made it through the day. Almost. She had practice earlier that morning. The girls that had tried out last week were decent. However, she refused to accept them completely because she knew what they were: Second best. The best had left because they didn't want to work with her and Brittany … and in some ways even Quinn. They didn't confront her around school they weren't allowed to since that bullying assembly, but there was an undeniable tension that she could never escape. This was a place where she used to feel powerful. This was a place that she used feel big and tough. Now, it was a place where she had to remind herself that she still was.

"Hey."

She looked up. Sophia had been talking to her about something that she wasn't listening to. She gave a weak smile. "What?"

"Geeze, San," Sophia said with a roll of her eyes. "I was asking you about the game this Friday."

Santana nodded. "Yeah, I think we're decent."

Sophia nodded. "I... We have regionals in February."

The brunette frowned. "We'll be ready. Yeah, those newbies suck but-"

Sophia looked at her. "It's not them I'm talking about."

The girl squared her shoulders. "Are you talking about me?"

"No," Sophia said covering. "You're amazing. You bring your A game like you always do..."

She watched her trail off. "What are you saying? Are you talking about me and Brit?"

"No," Sophia said again, slightly frustrated. She leaned closer. "Anyone with eyes that knew you two could tell there was something more. The girls that left were stupid." She sighed. "It's Quinn." She clarified. "She doesn't want to be there." Santana opened her mouth to speak, but the girl went on. "You and I know that she may be the best and she is but ….She was never really into it. She was into being a Cheerio and loved the perks that came with it more than she was into being an actual cheerleader."

"She's going through some stuff right now but... we all are... I'll talk to her. Don't give up on her," Santana said with a frown.

"I'm not, but I don't want to see her doing something that she doesn't really want to do either," Sophia said.

"It might just be the cast," she replied. She shook her head. "I'll talk to her."

"Talk to who?" Quinn asked walking up to them with Brittany.

"Hey," the taller blond said as she placed her hand on the small of her girlfriend's back. Santana gave her a small smile.

"I haven't seen you all day," Santana said looking at Quinn. "What have you been doing?"

"You know destroying lives, and making people cry," she shrugged. "The norm. Don't worry, I went to class." She held up her sheet that Shelby had them all get signed again. "Thanks for checking, mother hen."

Santana's eyes rolled in annoyance. "Jesus. Grumpy much?" She turned to Brittany as Sophia began to chat with Quinn about something she didn't care about. She gave the blond a small grin. "I wrote you something."

Brittany straightened. "You did?"

She nodded. "It was me just judging everyone in all of my classes when I was pretending to be writing notes."

Brittany smiled and leaned in kissing her lightly on the cheek. Santana bowed her head, blushing. Brittany smiled. "Did you write in the margins reasons why I should not be with you again?" she frowned. "Because I'll write all the reasons why I should be." She gave a small sigh. "I wrote you something too. Granted, it wasn't during class." Santana rolled her eyes at her girlfriend's subtle reprimand. Brittany offered Santana a folded note. "You wrote me your story..." Santana's flirting eyes faded slightly and looked around vulnerably. Brittany spotted this and took her hand at her side and gave her a small reassuring smile. "So, I wrote you mine." she rolled her eyes with a wink and a smile. She squeezed Santana's hand. "I think you know most of it. I just thought it would be fair."

Santana looked down at her feet and took the letter. "Thanks," she smiled.

"Ready?" Noah asked coming behind them.

Santana nodded and gave Brittany a hesitant and light peck on the cheek. She waved at Sophia and began to head away with her sister and brother. She looked over her shoulder at Brittany one last time. The blonde was looking back at her with a smile. She gave a tiny smile back before she headed away from the school.

"Hey," Rachel said from the far back of the Range Rover when they arrived at the car.

Santana smiled and climbed into the back with Rachel who was eating, or more specifically holding, a protein bar. "Hi," she smiled kissing Rachel on the top of her her head.

Shelby handed the other three a snack. "How was today?"

"Fine," they all muttered.

"We're going to have a meeting with the ADA after you guys do your homework for a bit and Rachel hangs out with Kurt," Shelby said as they pulled away from the school.

"Why?" Santana asked as Rachel looked up at her. She pointed to the girl's bar.

"Why what? Why am I hanging out with Kurt?" Rachel asked her sister.

Santana shook her head. "Eat it, or I'm going to force feed it to you."

Rachel scowled. "Quinn's not eating hers, you're not doing that to her!" she whined.

"We just got into the car," Santana shrugged, but glared at Quinn who was turned slightly in her seat.

"Bite me, Santana," she said. "I dare you to -"

"Enough," Shelby said. "Those bars will be eaten. And if I find them stuffed in the pockets of the doors again, you will be scrubbing this entire car with toothbrushes."

"Why are we meeting with the ADA?" Santana asked again.

"We need to meet with her because we'll be working a lot with her," Shelby said vaguely. She looked at the girls in the rearview mirror and her son next to her. "I expect you to be on your best behavior."

….

Carole and Kurt arrived soon after they all got home. Rachel was ushered into the other room as she watched her mother talk with Quinn about her history project. Rachel watched her mother and sister interact; it was more as if her mother was quizzing Quinn to make sure she actually had a project. She turned her gaze toward Santana.

"Have fun," she said as she started toward the kitchen, but Rachel didn't miss the slight glare that her eldest sister gave her friend. She looked down at her hands. She had her plastic tea set out and Kurt had brought his plastic scone and dish set. Before, they felt too old to play with the tea set, but they did anyway. Now it felt like another life.

"Thanks for inviting me over," Kurt said with a barely there smile.

Rachel shrugged. "Thanks for coming..." She looked up at the boy. "I'm sorry I couldn't go to your house..." She lowered her gaze. "I can't be around your brother."

"I know," Kurt muttered. He frowned. "Neither can I," he whispered.

"What?" she asked.

"My mom and dad won't let me be around him alone," he said quietly. "They said he's really mad and …... They don't talk about it-"

"About what he did to my sisters?" Rachel asked sharply.

Kurt looked at her for a moment. "That too, but ….." His voice became even quieter. "They don't talk about the fact that you and I play tea party... or that I collect pictures of my women's clothing and shoes."

"You just look at fashion magazines," the girl said with a shrug. "You have style... Your mom wore a knitted vest with a cowboy on it today... She might not know how fashion really works." Rachel's eyes bulged in embarrassment. "I didn't mean that the vest was ugly-"

"It's ugly," Kurt smiled, but it faded slowly after they made eye contact. "I don't mean that," he finally muttered. "I mean... the fact that when I imagine my life as a grown up. I picture holding hands with a handsome man... who's tall and has …big feet and ….a good head of hair..." He trailed off. "They don't talk about that."

Rachel bit her lip and watched him carefully.

Kurt went on. "And now... they don't leave me alone with him." He thought back carefully at silent conversations his parents had had and complex looks that they've exchanged. "My brother has always been angry... My mom says that it's because his dad is angry too. Not my dad... I mean... our dad..." He shook his head when he knew he wasn't making any sense and corrected himself. "Finn's dad." He took a breath. "He went to war and came back angry... and got angry at Finn a lot and that's why he's angry." He looked at Rachel honestly, neither of them realizing that the teens and the adults in the kitchen were listening quietly.

Rachel shrugged. "My brother and sisters are mad all the time." She shook her head. "They never did what your brother did..."

Kurt nodded. "He's still my big brother and I'm sorry," he said honestly. "What he did-"

"What he's doing," Rachel corrected. "I know he was never a good friend. My mom doesn't trust him. That's why I can't go over there... You're brother is not sorry Kurt... Not even a little bit."

Kurt frowned. "You don't know that," he said defensively.

"Is he? Is he sorry? He was so mean to my sisters..."

"Your brother broke his nose," Kurt spat. He cracks a slight smile. "It's not funny," he said trying to recover.

"I'm sorry your brother is mad and that you can't spend time with him," Rachel muttered.

"It's not like he wants to," he muttered. "Do you think that …. he'll be sorry?"

Rachel shrugged. "Maybe...Someday... Maybe your mom should let him throw things... That works for my brother and sisters... Usually things like lamps..."

He nodded. "What he's doing is wrong. I'm sorry." He gave a small shrug. "I know my mom and dad are real sorry."

"Really sorry," Rachel corrected.

"That's what I said," he said quietly.

She gave a small smile and shook her head. "I know it's not you, Kurt."

"I still feel bad," he said with his head bowed.

"Badly," she interjected.

"That's what I said," he said in confusion. Kurt smiled. "I hope we're still friends," he muttered as his smile faded showing his uncertainty.

"I think that we are," she said quietly. "I... just... I've been kinda... scared I guess..."

He nodded, unsure of how to respond. "My parents are taking out another mortgage. I don't really know what that means but it has to do with money, I know that much. And my dad's taking another job."

"Why?" Rachel asked.

"I'm going to go to your school next year," he said with a smile.

She looked at him, unsure. "You're going to come to school at my house? That doesn't cost more. It's probably cheaper. My mom shops at Costco and Whole Foods. I think it's cheaper than hot lunch at school."

Kurt laughed. "No, Gable." He smiled. "I'm going to Gable."

"That's not my school," she whispered, bowing her head in embarrassment.

An awkward silence fell on them. Rachel reached behind her on the bookshelf and grabbed the bucket of Knex. "Do you want to build a ferris wheel?" He nodded as they began to take out the pieces.

Kurt looked up at her biting his lip.

"What?" she asked.

"I'm sorry, Rachel," he said honestly.

"For what?" she asked with an awkward smile.

"For leaving you with him," he said simply.

"I was never with your brother," she said with a confused laugh as she continued to sort the pieces that she needed. She looked up when she realized he wasn't saying anything. She met his eyes. "Oh," she muttered. "You mean... you mean him?" Kurt nodded. Rachel shrugged. "That's my fault. I lied to everyone. I lied to you."

"Well, it's because you said you needed a dad," he said carefully. She looked at him surprised that he remembered that.

"Yeah, well he wasn't anything like my dad," she said quietly. "Well, not Daddy... maybe like..." She trailed off again. "I don't want to talk about it anymore."

"Sorry," he said quickly. "I can have your mom call my mom?"

Rachel shook her head. "We have to build a ferris wheel," she said with a small smile.

Kurt nodded. "Yeah." He paused again. "I've missed you a lot."

"Missed you too," she smiled.

They continued to build quietly. "Hey Rachel?"

"Yeah?"

"Could we watch Funny Girl as we build this?"

Rachel smiled. "Unquestionably."

…..

A half hour later after the kids had changed and Kurt had left they were all settled in the kitchen chatting with Nana and Pop-Pop. Rachel was pleading for a puppy as she held Charlie in her lap and tried to subtly feed the dog her second snack that was given to her from Nana.

"Rachel, I'm serious," Shelby said as she sipped her tea. "Dog down. Eat please."

Rachel frowned but complied. Her life had turned into a never ending snack time. The back door opened and Joey and Alicia came in with cups of coffee.

"Why are you here?" Santana asked as Rachel shifted next to her and into her lap. She was eating apples and peanut butter, or more like she was pushing them around.

Joey led the woman into the kitchen. "This is Alicia Towers."

Santana sighed. "I thought you were the only lady lawyer in Lima," she said with an eyeroll.

"Santana, please don't be rude," Shelby said.

"I am the only corporate lawyer in Lima," Joey corrected. "I don't do criminal law."

"Yeah, yeah," Santana waved off her aunt's last response, but continued to challenge her with a frown.. "So then you're here... why?"

"I just introduced her," Joey said looking at the teenager. "I'm here to introduce her."

"Couldn't my mom have done that?" Santana asked. "Is that the only reason you came over?"

"Santana, I'm very important-" Joey said looking at her niece with annoyance.

"She's engaging you. You're encouraging it," Shelby sang quietly into her sister's ear.

"Am not," Joey muttered with a huff. She hated that she was right.

The mother turned to her second born with a stern look. "Santana," Shelby said. "One more word and you're writing me five thousand words on the history of the word subpoena."

Santana huffed and leaned back in her seat. Alicia shifted and smiled at the group.

"I'm here to let you know what you can expect with the trial. I am the district attorney and I will be prosecuting the case," she said simply.

Rachel looked at her sisters for a hint of what that meant and most importantly if they approved.

"What to expect?" Quinn asked the woman.

"Yes," the lawyer nodded. "Give you a chance to know what type of questions you can expect to be asked while on the stand and what answers they will be looking for."

"You're coaching us?" she asked with a frown as Rachel looked between her and the lawyer woman.

"No," Alicia said quickly. "We don't do that."

"Because it's illegal," Joey interjected.

"I don't get it," Santana said.

"Well, why don't you listen and find out?" Shelby countered.

"So, so far Rachel and Quinn, you've been subpoenaed to testify," Alicia said folding her arms over her chest.

Rachel leaned against Santana. She shook her head. "I don't want to."

"You don't really have a choice, bug," Joey said gently.

"Well, I did submit a motion for your video testimony. It's being considered but it will most likely be denied. Your therapist supports it, but a court appointed therapist is also going to evaluate the both of you to make sure that you are of sound mind and able to testify." The women looked at the girls for a moment, pausing. "I'm sorry."

"I don't want to talk to anyone..." Rachel said. She shook her head. "I don't. I don't..."

"Okay, okay," Shelby said scrunching down on the balls of her feet next to the girl as she rubbed her back. "We have plenty of time. That is why Alicia is here now. It gives us time to prepare."

"What about me?" Santana said straightening up. "And my brother?"

Alicia looked at Joey questioningly. "Well, you haven't been called. I doubt you will be."

"Why?" she asked sharply.

The woman looked uncomfortable and looked at Joey for assistance. "Well, they don't need your testimony, San. It's not... It's not … um... It's important just not to the case."

She deflated slightly. "What do you mean it's not important?"

Joey looked at her niece softly. "You and Noah have great perspective but they don't need you to speak in court."

"Why?" she asked again with a frown.

"Because what you have to say isn't better or worse for either side," Alicia said again.

"I have plenty to say!" she said.

"I know you do," Shelby interjected, silently telling the other women to back down. "But you don't need to go on the stand this time, San."

"But why?" she asked her mother again, instinctively pulling Rachel into her lap.

Quinn turned to her and gave her a soft look. "Because you weren't there," she said gently. She took her hand. "It's okay," she muttered as she saw Santana's face fall.

The brunette rested her cheek on the back of Rachel's head as she held her tighter. She knew she wasn't there. She thought about it every day. She didn't need to be reminded.

Shelby rubbed Santana's back hoping she could reach the girl later and tap into the emotions that were exploding beneath her ever-breaking heart.

"So far the list of other people who are being cross examined is pretty short," Alicia said trying to get her attention away from the girl. "Um... let's see... Will Schuester, of course." She muttered nervously and Joey glared her into silence. "Um... your therapist, Elyse... "

"Their therapist? Can they do that?" Noah asked.

"Yes," Joey said simply.

Shelby nodded at her son, telling him that she would answer his questions too.

"They're calling a sexual abuse specialist and … um..." Alicia flipped through more pages, trying to find the other names of the subpoenaed witnesses the defense had set into motion.

"So what's their deal? I mean I don't really understand," Noah said interrupting again. "I've been paying attention. He's been charged with kidnapping and... stuff... Why... are we doing this?"

Alicia looked up from her papers at him. "He is on trial for rape and attempted rape against both of the girls. We know he will be found guilty of aggravated assault, unlawful possession of a loaded weapon, harassment of a minor, violating probation and child pornography. Nobody has forgotten about any of that, he has pled guilty to those charges. The kidnapping charge from when he took Rachel from the dance studio..." Her voice softened as she watched the room become more tense. She sighed and continued, "that charge is being contested, but he admitted to it pretty clearly in his confession. Basically, Will Shuester is already going to prison...This trial just decides how long and if more charges are going to be brought on him. These charges are serious in themselves, but the sentence would stick if he is convicted of the sexual crimes against the girls."

Noah frowned. "But you found evidence right?" The adults looked at him. "I mean... his um..." He looked at Santana and Quinn and the girls covered Rachel's ears. "His... junk," he whispered.

Shelby looked at him. "Noah, how do you know that?"

"I live in the same house," he hissed.

Alicia looked at him. "But that doesn't exactly prove rape," she said simply. She leaned over and pushed the girls' hands away from Rachel's ears as she looked at the young girl perched on Santana's lap. "I don't think we should filter what you're going to hear since you're going to be in the room-"

"That's not for you to decide," Noah said stepping forward.

"Actually, it is," she pushed back.

"Noah, stop," Joey said with Shelby.

"Who else is on the list?" he asked with a sigh and a shake of his head.

"A few teachers to set his character," Alicia shrugged as she glanced at her paperwork again. "And... um... Finn Hudson."

Quinn's head snapped up. "What?"

"Why?" Santana hissed.

"Yes, why?" Joey asked with a frown.

"Well, ….. you dated him right, Quinn?" Alicia asked. Quinn felt her breaths quicken in her chest. She could barely focus.

Santana nodded for her. "But that doesn't matter!" She took a deep breath and combed Rachel's hair back. "He's a douche. Why would that matter?"

"I'm friends with his brother," Rachel offered.

Santana hushed her gently, telling her that that is probably not why he was being called.

"He's going to make me out to be a liar," Quinn quietly muttered. She squeezed her eyes shut. "And he'll be right."

Alicia furrowed her brows at the teenager's sudden admission. "You need to know that I need to know everything. Anything that I don't know will be brought up in court against you. I can guarantee that. We need to lay everything out here," she said trying to catch someone's eye.

Rachel looked away from Alicia and directly at Quinn. "Why?" she asked her sister. "You're not a liar." She glared at the woman. "My sister is not a liar!"

Shelby frowned more deeply wondering why this teenage boy was being called to the stand for her daughters' attacker. Then it clicked. "A liar," Quinn's words echoed in her head. Shelby remembered the moment in the study when Quinn confessed to her about how she lied to Finn about the baby... a lie to protect her dignity and herself from the truth behind the pregnancy. She looked over at Joey and they instantly exchanged the magnitude of the admission.

She squeezed her eyes shut. "I ... um... " Quinn started to try to find the words to answer Rachel's question but trailed off when none came to mind.

"What's wrong?" Noah asked. He looked at his mother and aunt. He knew that look. Something was wrong. He looked at Quinn who was still sitting silently with her eyes squeezed shut and knew what he had to do. "Rach, come on, let's go upstairs. Okay?"

"No, I want to stay here," she pleaded putting her hand on Quinn's arm. "Quinn?" The blonde didn't move. "Quinn?" she tried again.

The blonde hesitated, but finally opened her eyes and looked up. "Go with Noah, Rach. I'll tell you later," she whispered avoiding the younger girl's eyes.

Rachel looked at her mother. "What's going on?"

"Go on, bug," Shelby muttered with a nod of her head. "Go with Noah and Santana."

"I want to be here," Santana said with a shake of her head. She leaned forward. "I already know, Mom," she whispered. Her eyes were pleading. "Let me be here."

Shelby looked at her with a warning eye. "Go please."

Santana decided not to argue once she saw the look on her mother's face. She stood Rachel up and quietly went upstairs following her brother, looking over her shoulder at Quinn one more time. Joey motioned for Bear to follow them to make sure they were distracted.

Shelby turned to Quinn and sat down next to her. She pulled her close and kissed her softly on the head.

"We can stay until whenever you're ready," she whispered into Quinn's ear as she rocked her tenderly. "I'll be here the whole time." Quinn looked at her with tears in her eyes. Shelby smiled. "You can do this, Q-bear," she said kissing her on the forehead. "I know you can."

Quinn leaned into her mother and let the tears fall. The ache from her tattoo seemed to disappear as the hurt in her heart took over. She turned her face to look at Alicia. She looked at her aunt briefly before turning her gaze away from her eyes and back towards the ADA. "I lied to him," she said quietly. "I...got pregnant. I was pregnant and I told him... I told him that it was his baby..." She said as she felt a lump in her throat. "And it wasn't." Shelby tightened her arm around the girl as Quinn began to tell the loveless story of her and Finn.

….

Quinn wasn't sure how much she had cried. She wasn't sure how many questions of the lawyer she had actually answered. All she knew was that now this stranger knew and her aunt knew. They knew the whole story...and soon a courtroom full of people would know too. She had heard them talking once she walked up the back stairwell.

"-We might be able to argue this," Alicia said. "She was vulnerable and confused and admitting the real father of her child would be too hard for anyone let alone a sixteen year old girl who had been through what she's been through and -"

"Don't okay?" Shelby said. Quinn could hear her shaking her head. "Just …. Just figure out what you're going to say and fight for my kids."

Quinn heard her move toward the stairs so she started to move towards her room. Or at least she tried.

"Quinn?" she turned and Shelby was staring at her.

"I'm fine," she said.

"You're not. I know that that was hard," Shelby said.

"Please," she whispered. "I'm fine. Just... the windows are all on alarm. Just... can I have some space?"

"I really don't want you to be alone," she frowned.

"I'm not going to be alone," she said. "I can't be, because I went all Texas Chainsaw on my cast, but please I'm begging you, please leave your sister, G.I. Jane downstairs okay?" She felt her tears fill her eyes. "Please, Mom. I won't do anything. I will sit with San if you really want me to because at least she will shut up... I just need to sit and think. Please?"

Shelby frowned. "Go in your room and I'll be back to get you later." Quinn hugged her tightly.

"Thank you," she whispered.

Shelby cupped her face softly. "Okay." She kissed her softly. "Leave the door open, alright?"

"Okay," she muttered.

She heard her leave and make her way down the stairs. She looked around the room and realized that she didn't need to be alone. What she needed was a large bag of junk food, or to go on the longest run in existence, or have a wine cooler even though she only had it once... she NEEDED something... she needed to think about something else besides alone time. She needed to breathe. She frowned. She needed fresh air. She grabbed her coat and the box in her coat and walked as casually as she could to the other end of the hallway.

She needed to get there. She needed to breathe.

She arrived in her mother's room and saw, much to her chagrin, that on the door of the closet that led up to the attic a padlock was securely fastened. She frowned.

"Stop looking like someone ran over your dog," said a voice behind her.

She turned and Santana was looking at her with a smile holding a screw driver and bobby pins.

"Let's get you some space," she smiled as she began to unlock the lock for her sister.

It took Santana about a three minutes to open the lock. Now amidst the evening air they sat quietly on the roof.

"I um... I …." Santana stuttered. "Do you want to talk about it?"

"Nope," she replied.

Quinn reached back behind them and started to close the the window. Santana looked at her with a frown and watched as the blonde pulled out a box of cigarettes.

Santana's eyes bulged. "UM, NO!" She hissed reaching for the carton trying to yank them away from her sister's grasp. Quinn pulled them back. "No,"

"Excuse me those are mine!" Quinn snapped when Santana somehow managed to snap the box away.

"Not anymore!" Santana fired back.

"I'm not going to fight with you on the roof," the blonde bit.

"Because you'll lose and fall off of the roof," she frowned. She looked at the box of cigarettes that were now in her hand before she looked back up at her sister. "You're crazy! What the hell, Quinn? I will not be burying my sister in ten years because you die of lung cancer!"

"Shut up, Dr. Phil," she bit. "Stop being dramatic! This would only be my sixth or seventh one. Calm down! Now, give them back." The blonde reached for the pack again.

Santana extended her hand away from Quinn out of her reach as she shook her head. "I hope you enjoyed them because they were your last," she spat and threw the box over the roof and into the backyard.

"You idiot!" Quinn spat in disbelief. "You are an asshole. Mom is going to find them!"

"Stop! You'll thank me when you get back on the squad. You won't be the fastest... or second fastest on the team next to me if you're lungs are full of tar."

"I don't want to do Cheerios," Quinn said with a huff, still pissed that her sister had thrown her box of cigarettes over the roof. "I don't want to do it at all! I don't care about it."

"Well, that's obvious," Santana grumbled. She looked at her honestly. "If you don't want to do it, you don't have to. Just... don't smoke. It's stupid. And you'll smell..." She waved her arm. "Who gave you these? Why did you start smoking to begin with? When did you start smoking?"

"Knock it off," she said with a roll of her eyes. "Just shut up. You skipped school last Friday to chase after Noah and didn't tell me, so we are even."

Santana scoffed. "Truancy and cancer are not even. How is that even?" She frowned. "When the hell have you had the chance to smoke six or seven cancer sticks anyway?"

"I found time," she frowned. She folded her arms over her chest. "I can't believe you did that."

"Well, suck it up! Don't do it again," she frowned.

Santana turned her head when she realized that Quinn was quiet. "Fine," the blonde stated.

"You're going to give in that easy?" Santana asked.

"I just... I've made a lot of stupid choices... and I guess... cigarettes are bad," Quinn frowned.

"Wait, seriously?" she looked at her. "You're giving in this easily? Who are you?"

"You're just you, it's not like you can ground me. So whatever." The blonde narrowed her eyes. "Just accept it, okay?"

Santana searched her sister's face. She frowned and then it dawned on her. "What did you do?"

"What?" Quinn scoffed. "Other than … lying to Finn and making him more angry than he already was? You heard his little brother today..." She frowned. "I did that... I did that."

"I'm pretty sure that Finn was already genetically engineered to be a douche," she said softly. "Listen... I …. I heard that we're gonna adopt you."

"You're not," Quinn said dryly. "Mom is... Or is trying to."

"Well, I'm glad," Santana muttered. She shook her head. "Yeah, you lied to Finn." She shrugged. "So what? Bad things happen all the time. We know that. Finn is a person who was taught to blame other people and get revenge. That's not on you."

"It feels like it is," she whispered.

"Well, you'll always be here... or at least a part of our family. We're not going to give up on you." Santana laughed. "Don't you think mom would have taken me back if she could?"

"You're her daughter. You're her blood." She shook her head. "I am not going to get my hopes up for it. Things happen that are out of our control sometimes. I am a mess, but I will always feel like a part of this family and …. you all are so special to me. I'll never forget it."

Santana gave a small grin. "Don't get all mushy on me or I'll push you off of this roof."

She gave a slight smile. "I mean it though," Quinn whispered. "I …. living here has been …. It's the best." She looked at her sister and paused. "Can you keep a secret?"

"Hello, have you met me?"

"It's kinda big," she whispered.

"You're not doing meth are you? Or you didn't put Noah up for sale on Ebay did you?" Santana frowned. She looked at Quinn. "Human trafficking is bad."

"No..." she frowned. "I … did something..."

"Please tell me you're not going to be arrested. Please, please, please," she muttered.

"I don't think I can get arrested for forging a signature," Quinn muttered.

"Actually you can..." she muttered. "It's called identity theft."

"Well,... I … um... It's not that," she muttered. "... But I might get arrested then..."

"What is it?" Santana asked.

"I'm going to show you. Don't freak out. You can't fall off the roof," she said slowly.

"Just show me," she muttered.

Quinn lifted up her shirt slightly and pulled down her sweatpants.

Santana let out a gasp. "Oh my god!" she said looking closer at the tattoo. "Quinn," she whispered.

The girl was about to protest and stick up for herself but Santana was giving her a small smile.

"You did this because you didn't think you would be with us?" Quinn gave a tiny nod. "I … I get it," she whispered. "But you didn't have to do this..."

"I did," Quinn muttered.

Santana sighed. "Why didn't you invite me?" Quinn just shrugged. "Can I touch it?"

"... It's kinda sore."

Santana frowned more deeply. "How did you get it? Where? When?"

"From Dylan's sister."

"Who? I thought you made her up," Santana stated.

The blonde looked at her with confusion and offense. "Um... no."

Santana looked at it more closely. "I can't see it under the plastic. Is that... Is that a date?" Quinn nodded and the brunette looked closer. "Awww Quinn."

"Don't coo at me. It's weird," she frowned. "I'm not Rachel..."

"But that's so..." Santana smile genuinely. "Quinn-"

"Stop looking at me like that," she frowned. "It's weird."

"DINNER!" Noah yelled.

"Don't tell anyone," Quinn muttered as she pulled her shirt back down.

"I won't," Santana said honestly. "But I might not have to if you don't take care of it. You don't have a spleen, idiot." Quinn rolled her eyes as they climbed back into the attic. "And don't smoke."

"Don't sound like a PSA," Quinn muttered. "It's disgusting. I miss angry you. Can you be angry lamp-throwing you again?"

Santana scoffed as they headed down stairs. "Only if you go back to being your grumpy gracefully screaming self."

Quinn rolled her eyes. "I was a bitch with grace," she said as they reacted the bottom of the stairs. "You were just permanently grumpy."

Noah was waiting for them outside Shelby's room. "You guys shouldn't be up there."

"Now who's the PSA?" Santana asked. "Maybe we should sell you on EBay." Quinn smiled.

"Don't joke about human trafficking!" Rachel frowned exiting her room wearing Quinn's Cheerio's sweatshirt.

"That's mine," Quinn frowned.

Rachel shrugged. "I was cold." The girl took the blonde's hand and the blond held on despite the frown.

Santana gave Quinn a side glance. "You're not a bitch anymore," she muttered quietly. She roughed Rachel's hair. "Rachel's a clothes stealer, Q, get used to it."

"I don't steal," Rachel frowned. "I borrow."

"You should still ask Mom if you can order another one from Sue," Santana encouraged.

Quinn nodded with a slight shrug, knowing that perhaps her next sweatshirt might not be a Cheerios one.

…...

The rest of the night was quiet. Quinn was somewhat thankful that Santana knew. She needed someone to know. Noah would be weird and Rachel would … well, she was eleven. By showing Santana, they knew in their own way. She needed them to know just in case... or when she left. She would never have the guts to show her Mom …. Shelby... but she would know... someday... During dinner, the woman looked deep in thought. No one had ever fought for her like Shelby did. She frowned, no one probably ever would.

She remembered that Rachel was practically clinging to her through the rest of dinner. She could see the confusion in the girl's eyes. Quinn felt a pang in her heart because she wasn't sure if she knew what was coming. She … Quinn stared at her ceiling bringing her into the present. What was coming? She squeezed her eyes shut. Joey knew everything now. She knew she was pregnant and … and lied to her boyfriend to try to get her pregnant. She knew... She knew she was going to kill it but then … her body rejected it. Joey knew and soon a whole courtroom full of strangers would know.

She felt her breath hitch in her throat. She wasn't ready for that. She didn't know if she would ever be ready for that. She felt a panic in her chest and a lump in her throat. They would bring up her father and they would bring up what he -

"Quinn?"

The blond sat up in her high bed on her side. "Rachel," she said softly. "What are you doing? I thought you were asleep?"

Rachel shrugged. "Mumma had to put the cream on," she muttered as she pulled at her pajamas. She frowned. "She wouldn't let me wear my princess pajamas."

Quinn looked at her softly. "Rachel, you're too old for those," she said quietly. "They make you look like you're five."

She frowned. "No," she mumbled.

"Where's San, Rach?" Quinn asked looking at her suddenly noticing that the girl looked uncomfortable as she pulled on her star patterned pajamas. "I like the pjs you're wearing now, Rach. They don't make you look five... Maybe eight." She smiled. She frowned when Rachel didn't respond to any of her statements. "What's wrong?"

Rachel shrugged one of her shoulders. "What's wrong with you?"

Quinn looked at her tiredly. "Rachel, what are you talking about?" She watched as the small girl bit the side of her lip. She sighed as she looked at Rachel's pj pant's again. "Did Mom get you those? Are they new?" The blonde frowned. They were hanging slightly off of her. "They look kinda new," she muttered.

"I don't want to talk about my pajamas," she muttered.

Quinn sighed and leaned on her back. "What do you want to talk about?" Deep down she knew, but earlier when she had said that she would tell Rachel later, she was hoping that she wouldn't really have to.

She heard Rachel's tiny steps and then she turned her head and jumped slightly. Instead of climbing the ladder like Quinn had assumed, Rachel had climbed the side so that her face was near Quinn's and her feet were perched on the chair on the desk beneath the loft.

"Uh... you're really close to my face," she muttered. "What's wrong, Rach?" she asked again, feeling slightly like a broken record.

"What's wrong with you?" Rachel frowned.

"You've already asked that," she muttered. She turned her eyes and searched Rachel's. She saw the anxiety of her own heart deep in the child's eyes and she was instantly reminded that she wasn't the only one with bad dreams, whose thoughts ran rampant at night. She wasn't the only one at all. "You're going to fall. Come up and lay with me."

The blonde hated herself a little more when Rachel's eyes lit up so brightly that it was as if she had given her a Tony Award. The little girl scrambled into her bed and then under her covers. Quinn resigned to the fact that her job as an older sister required that her bed would be crowded and her clothes would be taken.

"What's up, Rach?"

"Can you tell me what happened?" she muttered. The older girl froze. "Can you tell me why I had to leave the kitchen when the lawyer lady was here today?"

"What do you mean?" Quinn heard herself ask.

Rachel was silent for a moment. She didn't say anything for a few seconds but it felt like years.

"Rachel?" she tried again.

"Is this about your baby?" she whispered. Quinn had to strain her ears to listen and then immediately wished she hadn't.

She froze. She couldn't answer life questions let alone her own. She just couldn't.

"Quinn?" Rachel asked again. "Please don't be angry at me."

"I'm not Rachel," she whispered. She looked at the ceiling. "It's hard to explain."

"I know," the eleven year old muttered. "But I need you to explain it to me." She looked at her. "Please, Quinn." The blonde could see the tears in her eyes. "I need to understand... I need to know why my only friend's brother is going to say that you're a liar." Her jaw quivered. "You're the best person I know... well... one of the best...And I need to know if Kurt can still be my friend."

"You can't be someones friends based on their family, Rachel," she said quietly. "You should know that."

"I do," she whispered. "But... you're Quinn and you deserve people unadulteratedly on your side."

Quinn's eyes grew wide. "The fact that you know what that means still baffles me," she mumbled. "I … Rachel... I'm going to tell you the truth..." The blonde started but then trailed off.

She looked over at Rachel with pause. "Not very many people have before... He said he would... but he... Mr. Schues..." Rachel couldn't even finish his name. "You're the one person who almost always has told me the truth...Please?" She looked at her and traced her fingers over her cast. "I was getting ready for bed and …. I don't want you to think that you're alone..."

Quinn looked at her her own body shaking slightly in anticipation of what she needed to say.

"I never thanked you ….. Really thanked you for helping me that day... I just... I want to help you too," she whispered. "But I can't... if you don't trust me," she continued to trace Quinn's cast. "It's not fair." She looked at the blonde who couldn't stop her tears. "I don't want them to tell me in court that you're a liar. I want to tell them that they're wrong."

Quinn motioned for Rachel to lean down and she did and Quinn noticed that she was clenching Quinn's sweatshirt that she had taken earlier. "Where's George?" she whispered as she wiped her tears.

Rachel frowned and a slight panic settled over her as if she just realized that didn't have him.

"Shh, it's okay," Quinn said realizing her mistake. "I can help you go find him."

She shook her head. "You need to tell me," she whispered.

Quinn bit her lip. "I lied for a long time," she began.

"Because you didn't have a sister like Santana," she said simply in her own Rachel away. "Or a brother like Noah or a Mumma like mine."

Quinn tried to laugh at that but she felt her eyes fill with tears at the simple fact. "Yeah," she whispered as she felt Rachel's hand take her uncasted one. "I didn't."

"You protect yourself," Rachel said quietly. "Right? You had to be brave all the time."

Quinn gave a tiny nod and steeled her jaw. "I … My father... he did a lot of really bad things, Rachel," she said quietly.

"I know," she muttered.

Quinn shook her head. "I don't think you do, Rach," she said tearfully and neither of them noticed a slender brunette holding a stuffed monkey in her hands at the entrance to the bathroom. "He and I …. we … um... we did things."

"No, you didn't," Rachel said quickly. "You didn't do things. He did them to you like my Papa did them to me and Sanny."

"Rachel, it's hard to explain," she whispered her tears coming again. "It hurts less if you convince your body that you want it."

"I don't understand... how can it... How..." She search through her wealth of knowledge as she thought for a moment. "When I was with him he said it would hurt if I wasn't wet... do you mean like that?"

Quinn let out a sob. She couldn't do this. She didn't know how to. She didn't have the words or the wisdom to explain this in the way that Rachel needed.

"Please don't cry, Q-bear," she whispered and tried to wrap her body around her older sister's body. "Please don't cry."

Quinn clung back to her. "I …. I wish I could explain it to you better. It's not that simple."

"You said that you would explain it to me," she said looked at her with hope, but still keeping her hands around her neck. "Please, I believe that you're so much better than you know... you just... you just need me to remind you. You can just say it," she suggested. "You can just …. You just say it out loud like ripping off a band aid …. or I guess in your case... like sawing off your cast..." Rachel frowned. "Maybe that's a bad metaphor."

Quinn gave a tiny smile. "I know but it's too hard, Rachel," she muttered.

The eleven year old watched her sister with a frown as she searched through her mind for the answer she felt she had but just didn't quite understand. She looked at her hands as she thought of all that she had heard and all that she had been told. Her head snapped up and met Quinn's eyes. She understood.

"Your daddy raped you," she whispered. Quinn looked at her as if she was being punched in the gut, but Rachel's words tumbled out of her, carelessly and full of misunderstanding, desperate to grip onto what had been around her that had never been understood. "You didn't want it. …. but it hurt less... if you convinced yourself that you did." She thought back to the conversation she had with Elyse and her mother. "Bodies can be manipulated," she whispered. "Is that what he did?" Quinn was beside herself, she couldn't answer that. "Is that what they're going to say? That you wanted it?" Rachel looked at her with a frown. "But you didn't... you didn't..." She reached out to her. "Is that what happened?" Her own body shook. "Your body thought you wanted a baby?"

Quinn just shook her head. "I'm sorry...I don't... know how to explain this...not to you."

Rachel shrunk back and looked at her. Her chin quivered in confusion. "Why?" she begged. "I'm a person, too. I'm like you."

The blonde swallowed hard and looked at her, in her star pajamas that hung off of her body and her big eyes full of a foreign innocence Quinn couldn't remember possessing. Rachel suddenly looked at her with a tearful frown.

"No, you can't do that," she said. "I'm not as innocent as people think that I am. I'm not.-"

Quinn felt the loft shift and she looked up at Santana who was crawling into the bed.

"Rach," she muttered as she brought her into her arms and pulled her into her lap so that she could rest her chin on the top of her head and wrap her arm around her. "Rachel," she said quietly taking Quinn's hand with her free hand. "It's not that easy."

"Why?" Rachel asked sinking into her arms. "I want to know. I need to know. Quinn's not a liar. She's not," she said with a muffled cry.

"I am," Quinn sobbed feeling the weight of everything crashing down on her. "I lied to him, Rachel. I lied to Finn about something so big that ….. I can't take it back."

Santana cupped Quinn's face. "It's okay. You're okay. We don't have to talk about this."

"No," Quinn sobbed. "I have to. I have to talk about this. I told Finn that the baby was his, Rachel... It wasn't."

The air was heavy. Rachel was looking at her with wide eyes in a way that made Quinn want to go blind. She didn't want the only innocent thing in her life to know the most gruesome thing about her. The truth felt dirty and exposed in the air. She couldn't take it back.

Rachel looked up at her eldest sister for some guidance, for anything. She had a new panic in her heart. She scrambled out of Santana's arms and for the first time as she ran down the hallway, she didn't hear her big sisters run after her.

Santana lay down on the bed and looked at Quinn silently. She took her hand in hers. "I'm going to hold you okay?" she whispered. "I'll stay here with you tonight."

"I don't need you to," Quinn muttered.

"Shut up, yeah you do," Santana whispered.

"Rachel thinks I wanted it..." Quinn said quietly into the darkness.

"No, she doesn't," Santana said quietly. "She just doesn't understand right now. Sex has always been... violent to her... She is just realizing it's complicated and ….. you had the courage to explain it to her."

"You should go be with her. She needs you. You're like her arm," Quinn said with a smile.

The elder girl frowned. "No," she whispered despite the pang in her chest. "She has her own two arms," she muttered. "I can hear her now. Mom's taking care of her."

…..

Shelby finished washing her face and turned her head when she heard a stifled sob. She peeked into her room just as Rachel came running in. She was panting and heaving with a sob.

"Bug," she said with a frown as she scooped up her youngest daughter. "What's wrong?"

"I-I-I figured it out," she sobbed into her neck. "I made her sad. She's crying and she's so sad. I understand. Her daddy manipulated her body and made her think she wanted it and that's...that's... that's..." She let out a sob.

Shelby's eyes widened. "Okay, okay," she whispered gently as she rocked her. "Shhh. I'm right here."

"I made her cry, Mumma," she muttered. "I made her tell me and she's mad. She's mad at me."

"I'm sure she's not mad," Shelby said. "She just upset. Want to go see her?"

"No, no," she muttered. "She's mad. I made her cry."

"Let's go check on them, bug," she whispered lifting her and making her away toward her daughter's room.

Rachel made her mother stop in her room for George but then they made their way into Quinn's room. Santana turned slightly and smiled at her little sister.

"You alright?" Shelby asked honestly.

"No," Quinn muttered. She looked at Rachel with a soft smile. "You okay?"

"I'm sorry, Quinn," she sobbed.

"You have nothing to be sorry about," the blonde said gently. "You want to come and lay with us for a bit?"

Rachel hiccuped a tiny sob but looked at her with question.

"I'm not mad, Rach," she said softly. "I knew you would come back. You always do. Sometimes, we all need some time though. Right?"

She nodded her head and Shelby lifted Rachel into the large loft beft between the two girls. Shelby reached out and cupped Quinn's cheek. "You sure you're okay?"

She nodded. "I'm fine," she muttered.

"We'll talk later okay?" Shelby nodded. She kissed Rachel and Quinn goodnight and leaned against Santana. "They'll sleep through the night, they both took their meds, so you don't need to wake up every two hours to check on them," she whispered. Santana looked at her in surprise. She kissed her eldest daughter. "I love you, girls. Come and get me if you need anything."

…...

Quinn squeezed her eyes shut. She couldn't turn her brain off. She couldn't even be here. She couldn't be in this classroom. Rachel had barely looked at her all morning but she wouldn't let go of her hand. Rachel was supposed to have a field trip today with that squawking child, Flour... or something. Quinn frowned. She was scared that she had ruined that for her. Now she was in school in these smelly hallways with these smelly people. She didn't want to be here at all. Not one bit.

Practice that morning had been so ridiculous. She couldn't focus on the routines. She felt like a wallflower on the sideline. She didn't belong there anymore. She was supposed to be captain and she just couldn't find the energy to care anymore.

"Quinn?"

She frowned and looked up. Sue was staring at her with a frown. "We need to talk."

"I have class," she said quickly grabbing her bag and attempting to make a quick exit.

"We will talk, Fabray," she called after her.

Quinn grimaced. "I look forward to it," she muttered.

She went through school in a fog. Every person she passed she wondered if they would read the paper or listen to the news that covered the case. Would they care? Would she be a conversation started that brought people together? Or maybe even tore them apart.

She frowned. How would they all remember this? Would it be brought up next year? Or a ten year reunion? She wondered if she would even be here.

"Hey!" Someone called out behind her.

She frowned and turned and looked at a confused face of Finn Hudson.

"I'm not supposed to talk to you," she said as she started to walk away.

"Quinn, wait," he called out. "You owe me an explanation."

She turned around and faced him. The fury and confusion of her heart felt like it exploded with fury. She pointed at him. "I do not owe you anything!"

"You kinda do," he muttered. "I know I wasn't supportive... I know I ..." His brow became angry. "You're not innocent here. You lied to me!"

"I did and I'm sorry!" She frowned. "I don't know how else to say I'm sorry. I don't know what you want me to say!" She shook her head. She could feel a pressure building in her chest. "Yes! It wasn't fair to you! Yes, it was terrible! Yes! I'm sorry! But you're all I had." She frowned and looked at him. "We were terrible to each other, Finn."

"This is still on you, Quinn," he said icily.

She looked at him with a great surge in her heart. She suddenly hated him more than anything. She hated all that he stood for. She stepped forward ready to let her feelings of indignation fuel her response since her words were failing her.

"Quinn!" Sue suddenly called. "That's enough!"

The blonde looked around her. They had drawn a crowd. Fuck, she thought.

"Everyone get to class," Sue ordered. Quinn started to leave with the crowd. She had a long laundry list of what she didn't need. Coach Sylvester and Finn Hudson were at the top of the list. "Quinn, my office now."

The blonde turned but didn't make an effort to move.

The hallway was soon empty, but all the blonde could do was stare angrily at her coach. She didn't want to be in school. She didn't want to talk to anyone besides her family. She wanted to just escape it all. She couldn't though. She was stuck in this school and in a role that she no longer wanted to be in.

"Did you hear me? My office," the coach challenged.

"No!" Quinn bit back. She looked at her with a fire in her eyes. She couldn't take this anymore. Not any of it. This is the one thing she could control. She didn't know what questions would tumble out of Rachel's mouth. she didn't know what next predator lurked around the corner. All she knew was this was the one thing that she could control.

She looked at her couch with a raw honesty in the empty halls.

"I quit," she said solemnly.

"Quit what?" Sue asked.

"Cheerios," she muttered. "I'm out. I don't want to do it anymore."

"Let's go talk in my office," Sue said quietly.

"No, no!" Quinn hissed. "No!"

She frowned. "I'm not just going to let you give up, Quinn."

"This isn't about me needing to be pushed or doing something inspirational or something stupid like that," Quinn said. "I don't want to do this anymore. I..." She looked at the ground.

"You need the Cheerios," Sue said gently. "You need something to keep you focused."

Quinn shook her head and shrugged. "Maybe, but it's not the Cheerios." She frowned even further. "I'm sorry." she said almost angrily, but she was unsure who exactly she was angry at. "I can't." she frowned.

"What's going on?" a new voice asked. Quinn turned and looked and Santana was standing with her arms folded.

"Do you Corcoran kids ever do what you're told?" Sue asked with a heavy sigh.

"No," the girls responded simultaneously..

"Get to class, girls," she said sharply. "We will be talking later."

The two of them started to walk in the same direction down the hallway and reached the apex of the where the hallway went in two directions and Santana continued to walk with her sister.

"Santana, you're going to the west wing," Sue corrected. "You're going the wrong way."

The brunette rolled her eyes and turned the other direction away from Quinn. They disappeared from Sue's view but could still see each other and the blonde took the opportunity to tell silently to meet her downstairs.

"Stop talking to each other and get to class," Sue bellowed.

"Sue Sylvester," Santana suddenly heard a man bellow down the hallway; his voice echoed. Figgins she grinned. He went on. "There is an issue in gymnasium. The new gym teacher is requesting that you move the flying trapeze equipment that you've set up..."

Sue suddenly began to rant about how the gym teacher wasn't credible because the focused sport this week was ping pong. As her voice faded down the hallway as she walked the opposite direction, Santana ran quickly after Quinn.

"Hey," she smiled.

Quinn rolled her eyes. "What are you doing?"

"Let's get out of here," she said simply.

Quinn frowned. "And go where?"

Santana shrugged. "I don't know but I can't be here."

The blonde scoffed. "Neither can I." She looked at her with a frown. "Why can't you be here?"

The brunette frowned. "Just... I'm going to lose it."

Quinn stopped and looked at her. "Did someone give you a hard time?"

"Don't worry about it," Santana said. "He didn't hurt me or anything just was whispering crap in my ear like he was Darth Vader." She shrugged "I wanted to twist his dick off."

Quinn grimaced. "... Did you?"

Santana shook her head. "No," she muttered.

The blonde rolled her eyes as they passed a classroom where Noah was sitting, drooling on his desk as he slept. Santana ushered the blonde away from the door afraid that he had seen them.

"There's the diner down the street," Santana offered. "Please," she said as she gave Quinn a playful look. "I'll buy you pancakes and bacon."

Quinn narrowed her eyes. That food was certainly a weakness. Shelby tried to cook bacon for her when she could, but Rachel gagged too much at the smell of pork. She rolled her eyes. "Fine," she said. "But we can't get caught.

"We won't," Santana said. "We have lunch next and then you have study hall and I am supposed to have it now. We'll be back when we actually have to go to class. Trust me. We won't get caught."

"Famous last words," she scoffed as they headed out the back door of the school.

…..

Shelby leaned down and kissed Rachel softly on the head.

"You're going to have a great time," she said with a smile.

Rachel frowned. She had been so quiet for most of the morning. She was clearly stuck deep inside of her head. Shelby was hoping this trip would help to distract her and not encourage her catatonic state.

"Rachel?" The girl looked up at her mother with a frown. Shelby sighed and pulled Rachel's toggle coat off of the peg in the mud room and held it out for her daughter to put on. Rachel pulled it onto her shoulders and fastened up silently. Shelby leaned down and straightened the collar and brought her daughter's eyes up to meet her own. "You in there?" she asked with a light laugh.

Rachel gave a small smile and nodded.

"Are you excited for your field trip today?" Shelby asked.

Rachel lifted one of her shoulders and looked at the ground.

"Rach, are you going to use your words at all today?" the mother laughed.

"If they're needed," she muttered.

"What's wrong, bug?" Shelby asked sitting on the bench in the mud room and pulling her daughter into her arms.

"Nothing," she sighed. "Just thinking." She searched her mother's eyes. "What will you do while I'm on my trip and everyone else is at school?"

Shelby grinned. "Maybe get some coffee." She examined her daughter's face. "Are you scared to go on this trip?" She paused before continuing. "Are you scared that I'll be busy if you need me?"

Rachel shrugged. The mother smiled. That was a yes. "Holly has my number. I'll have my phone on me, but if there's a chance that I miss a call I will call back as soon as I can."

The eleven year old chewed the inside of her lip. "I need to go on this trip though." The mother wasn't sure if the girl was talking to her or herself.

Shelby nodded. "I think you'll have fun, Rach," she said honestly. "Sugar and Holly may be a little more..."

"Abrasive," Rachel interjected.

She laughed. "Yeah, I guess so." She tucked Rachel's hair behind her ear. "You'll do just fine."

"I think I will be too," she said quietly looking at the floor. "I have to be," she finished barely above a whisper.

Shelby stood up and cupped her daughters face. "I love you."

Rachel pulled away from her slightly and opened the door. Holly and Sugar who were waiting in the car for her just outside of the garage. Sugar had been recently "recommended" to another school. Holly disclosed that her young niece had insulted the wrong people and was asked to leave the school because of her "outbursts." SHelby was grateful that Rachel had a companion. She knew that while Sugar might not have been her first choice or even her tenth choice. She had a quality about her that was oddly warm even though she was frequently misunderstood. Shelby knew her daughter could see that even though she would never admit it.

Shelby watched as Rachel walked out to the car with soft, hesitant steps.

"What's wrong with you?" Sugar called from the back seat.

Rachel looked at around and bit her lip. "Nothing," she muttered. Shelby watched her daughter carefully wondering if she should have made arrangements to go. However, Holly insisted that it was important that Rachel go alone. While it may be a big step, Holly told her, Rachel certainly wasn't alone. They were only going to be gone two hours. She sighed. Just two hours. Holly ushered Rachel into the car.

Shelby waved to her with a soft grin. Rachel put her hand on the window and waved her fingers.

Shelby lead Rachel into the building. She frowned at the little girl. It was only two hours, Shelby told herself. Only two hours a week. It was good for her. Ever since the kids came back to live with her they had been struggling to socialize within the family let alone outside of it. Now almost six months of living with Shelby, Shelby and the in-home therapists agreed it was time to integrate the kids more with other children in a more forward and almost aggressive manner. they had been catering to the children's particular needs too long thur encouraging the dependency instead of depleting it.

Santana and Noah eased into it with a frown on their faces to accompany the fresh scars on their hearts, but Rachel had been struggling differently. They had had a few children over to Shelby's apartment but every time Rachel had made sure that Shelby or Santana or Noah were in the room. Every time Shelby attempted to sneak out of the room, Rachel realized her mother was gone within seconds and abandoned her playmates in search of her mother. It was time to put Rachel in a new place where she couldn't go and look for Shelby or at least that's what the in-home therapists had told her. Professionally and rationally, Shelby heard her, but as the mother, she couldn't help but think she was traumatizing her baby girl even more.

She led the three year old into the playroom and a handful of other children were also being dropped off. Rachel looked up at her mother with a deep set frown.

"You're going to have so much fun!" she smiled as she knelt down and helped her out of her jacket and hung it with her bag in her cubby. Shelby pointed at the other children, a few of them Rachel had met at playdates, trying to encourage Rachel. Her in-home therapist was even leading the play group. Shelby search the girl's young but aged eyes. She chuckled. "No one's fooling you, huh, bug?" Shelby smiled as she cupped her small face. "I will be right back here to get you. You're going to have fun with your new friends and your teacher, Lindsey, will be here."

Rachel gripped onto her mother shirt. "No," she said.

"Yes," Shelby said as she lead Rachel further into the playroom and Lindsey knelt down to greet her.

"Thanks for coming to play, Rachel!" she smiled.

Rachel frowned and looked at her mother and then back at Lindsey and then back at her mother. "No," she said again.

"Mumma will be right back, bug," she smiled. Shelby pointed to the other toys and projects that were already lying out. "Look at how much fun you'll have."

Rachel shook her head and waved her hands in front of her. "No, no," she said with a vicious shake of her head.

"Mommy will stay with you for 10 minutes, Rachel, and then we're going to say, bye bye," Lindsey said.

"No," Rachel said again. Shelby retrieved George from Rachel's bag in her cubby.

"Look, Rach, George needs you to keep him company," Shelby smile. "He wants to play but he's a little scared."

Rachel instinctively hugged George close to her chest.

"Hi, Rachel," one of the aides smiled. "Will you help me color?"

Rachel looked at Shelby with a silent frown and the mother smiled with encouragement. The aide led Rachel and George off to the table in the corner with the other children. Lindsey signalled for Shelby to leave. Shelby hesitated but snuck out of the classroom and went into the parents' room there they could see into the classroom but the kids couldn't see them. It was similar to the police station and made Shelby feel strangely uncomfortable as if she were watching her kids being interviewed again.

Shelby gave the other mothers a tight grin before she stepped up and stood closest to the window to watch her baby bug. She watched as sheer panic settled on Rachel's face and the tiny toddler began to look around with increasing anxiousness. She grimaced as Rachel pushed up herself with George still in her arms to standing and ran to the door.

"Mumma!" she sobbed with body heaving tears and hiccups from her body. She reached up on her tip toes but still she couldn't reach the handle. She pound on the door with her fist. "Mumma! Mumma!"

The teacher leaned knelt behind her to offer soothing words, but Shelby's gentle baby girl just pushed her away. "No!" she sobbed as she ran at the door and banged against it. "Mumma!"

Shelby frowned. It was too soon for this. It was all too soon for this. She started toward the classroom and peeked through the tiny window at the top and Lindsey shook her head, encouraging Rachel to have these few hours alone. Shelby frowned. Her gut was telling her it was too much too soon. Rachel's sobs for her were tearing her up. The mother returned deflated to the parents' room. Rachel was now sobbing in Lindsey's arms trying to push her away and make her way back toward the door. Lindsey resigned and set Rachel down on the floor. Rachel heaved with her free hand pointing toward the door.

"Mumma! Mumma!" she sobbed.

"Hey, Rachel," an aide said kneeling down. The woman offered Rachel a pink pacifier. Even though she couldn't be seen or heard, Shelby reached her arms as if she could stop the woman from bribing her child with the pacifier. Lindsey also attempted to stop the aide from bartering the child's for her tears in exchange for the tiny crutch that had become she bane of Shelby's existence, but it was too late. Rachel snatched the pacifier and put it in her mouth. The tiny girl was thankful for some relief from this stressful time, but she still didn't stop from crying. She pulled George more tightly to her chest as if they might take him.

The aide tried to coax her over to the group, which was now sitting to do a craft at the table. Rachel shook her head and walked backward slowly to her cubby, George clutched to her chest and her new pacifier tightly in her mouth as she quietly cried behind her two reliable friends. She shook her head. "No," she said with a hiccuped sob heavily again as if she realized all over again that she didn't have her mother in the room anymore.

Lindsey leaned down with a tissue to offer to wipe her tear stained face. "No!" Rachel said, but pacifier fell out and to the floor. Lindsey tried to get it to at least rinse it off. She wasn't fast enough. Rachel snatched it as if it were her last lifeline and popped it back into her mouth. She frowned and pointed toward the door.

Lindsey shook her head. "Mommy will be back, Rachel. I promise but let's make her a picture first."

Rachel shook her head and pointed toward the door. Lindsey gave her a soft smile. "I'm going to go play with the others. When you're ready, you can come and join us."

Rachel frowned again so deeply and Shelby had never seen a wrinkled brow so stressed and upset. She watched her daughter in hopes that she would concede and join the group. However, Rachel did the only thing she knew how to do. Shelby watched with heartache as Rachel walked gingerly over to her cubbie, put her jacket on upside down and hugged her bag and her monkey to her chest as she sat with a thud in the far back corner of the small locker cubby as she continued to suck and chew on this new pacifier.

The aide and Lindsey tried to coax her out but she continued to shake her head. The final straw was when the aide tried to sit partially in the cubby with Rachel. Shelby rolled her eyes, knowing that wasn't going to work. The cubby was Rachel's safe space and the woman was violating it. And as always, her baby girl continued to surprise her. Three year old Rachel Corcoran slowly undid her velcro sneaker with one hand, set her monkey safely behind her, and then threw her shoe with all if her strength at the aide's face with a labored grunt.

Shelby let out a cry as the tiny shoe hit the aide in the nose.

Lindsey slipped out of the room and came into the parent viewing room. She exchanged a silent look with Shelby and the mother nodded. It was too much too soon.

Shelby sighed at the memory as the car disappeared from sight. Needless to say, Rachel didn't go back to that playgroup. Instead, they eased Rachel in slowly to playgroups where the parents stayed. They moved to Lima and Rachel had more one-on-one attention with Brittany's grandmother, Mary Pierce and occasion playgroups here and there. However, when Mary started to get sicker, Shelby had to bring Rachel to daycare and she did surprisingly well, save a few tears on the first day. It was that initial abrupt absence that Rachel had hated.

A ringing distracted her from her thoughts. Shelby looked down at her phone. Two new emails. She frowned.

From: Coach Sylvester

Subject: Cheerios & Quinn

Ice Queen,

Your blonde daughter wants to quit Cheerios. Let's chat at game on Friday.

Shelby rolled her eyes at the salutation. She paused. Quit Cheerios she repeated in her head. Maybe that's what Quinn needed and completely fresh start in something she wanted to be involved in instead of something she was good at.

From: Mr. Coleman

Subject: Quinn Fabray

Ms. Corcoran,

I have been very lenient with Quinn over the past few weeks with her excessively long bathroom breaks where she is gone for the most of the period and her absence of effort in class. I wanted to contact you and verify that you received the letter I sent home with Quinn a couple days ago detailing the matters and my concerns about her current failing grade for the course. Please feel free to contact me this afternoon by phone or email. I will be working late on the comprehensive essays that students turned in today. Please note that Quinn did not turn in her report.

Sincerely,

Mr. Coleman

Shelby sighed. Great. Her phone buzzed again, causing her to let out a groan. She softened slightly when she saw who the text message was from.

….

The museum was less crowded than Rachel had pictured. She was grateful for that. They wandered around looking at the exhibits. Rachel just wanted to go home and lay in her bed. She didn't want to be here at all.

"Something important has happened," Sugar said interrupting her thoughts.

Rachel looked at her with an unimpressed rise of her brow. "What is it? Did you finally realize what abrasive meant?" she asked with an annoyed air.

Sugar scoffed in indignation. "No," she huffed. She smiled wide. "I became a woman yesterday," she said proudly.

Rachel's brown knitted. "How does one do that?" she asked.

Sugar frowned. "I don't know how one and two do it," she said. "But I did!" She straightened her back with an attempt at embodying etiquette and class.

Rachel tried her best not to roll her eyes. "What were you before?" she retorted.

"A girl! A child!" Sugar said with detest. "Like you," she shrugged, "but we were friends when I was a child, too. It's womanly to stay friends even when you haven't become a woman yet."

The tiniest Corcoran scowled. "I don't understand. You don't look different to me."

Sugar straightened again and lifted her gaze with unyielding pride. "I started my PERIOD!"

The echo of her voice bounced off of the walls of the museum. An older couple smiled at the girls while a pair of student snickered and cooed. Rachel looked over at Sugar. The taller girl's' head was still raised with pure seeming pride. Rachel did not understand her in the least and was about to retort something harshly but paused.

She frowned more deeply as Sugar's words soaked in. Her face fell. She looked at the floor and her eyes darted with slight panic.

"... Did... Did it hurt?"

Sugar rolled her eyes. "Well, of course it does! Cramps always hurt."

Rachel wrung her hands nervously. "Um..." she managed.

"You need to move to the next room?" Holly asked coming behind them as she finished writing her own notes on the exhibits. "girls did you write everything you needed to? There were six exhibits you needed to write on." Sugar sighed and began to walk toward the exhibits to finish the assignment.

Rachel thrust her notebook toward Holly. "I'm finished," she mumbled. "Here." Her voice was heavy.

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing," she whispered. She looked up at her teacher. "Is it almost time to leave?"

"She's just upset because I'm a woman and she's a child," Sugar called out across the gallery.

Holly gave Rachel a small smile. "Do you want to talk about it?"

"No," she mumbled. "I don't want to talk about it at all."

…..

Shelby climbed out of her Range Rover and tucked her phone in her pocket after making sure it was volume was on loud so if Rachel needed her or if her old three children decided to cause destruction somewhere.

"Thanks for coming," Gus said as he climbed out of his squad car.

"I needed a little break," she said with a small smile, grateful that she had decided to look like a person today.

"Yeah? That long of a day?" he asked.

"Always is," she said with a roll of her eyes. They headed toward the diner.

"You should learn to relax a little more," he said with a laugh. "We can schedule weekly venting sessions. You look like you need a confident besides Joey."

Shelby laughed as the hostess greeted them and pointed them to a table. "You have no idea." She took off her jacket. She leaned back and smiled at the waitress as they were poured a cup of coffee. "Thanks," she smiled.

"So," he said with a smile opening the menu. "What's your poison?"

She shrugged. "I'm not sure what I'm in the mood for."

He laughed. "It would help if you opened the menu."

"I grew up in this town, Gus," she said sipping the coffee. "I could recite this menu in my sleep."

He arched his brow. "Impressive," he said looking through the menu. "So what do you recommend?"

Shelby didn't answer. He lowered the menu to look at her. She was gone and was walking away from him.

"What is it?" he asked.

She didn't answer but instead stopped at a table in the corner.

"Mom?" Santana asked in disbelief.

"Crap," Quinn muttered as she grabbed her last piece of bacon.

"What are you doing here?" Santana asked.

"Funny, I was just about to ask you the same question," Shelby said with a scowl as she pulled out her phone.

"Who are you calling?" Santana asked.

"The school, where you should be," she retorted.

Santana frowned and shook her head as her mother informed the administration of their absence and that they wouldn't be returning for the day and that Shelby requested a meeting with the principal.

"This if fucking ridiculous," she muttered.

"Excuse me!" Shelby hissed leaning on the table so that she was face to face with her eldest daughter. "You're supposed to be in school. You're the ones breaking the rules here."

Santana shook her head. "I couldn't be there, Mom! Plus it's only lunch and study hall we're missing."

"Not the point, Santana," she replied.

"Totally the point," she muttered.

"Quinn, we have a lot to talk about when we get home, too," Shelby said firmly. "I received an email from Mr. Coleman today. Was there something you were supposed to give me?"

Quinn chewed her mouth full of food slowly. "Maybe," she muttered.

Santana frowned and looked in the direction that Shelby came from across the diner and spotted Gus speaking with the waitress and her mother's coat hanging over the booth that he was sitting at.

"ARE YOU SERIOUS!?" she hollered.

Shelby stopped scolding Quinn to glare at Santana.

"Do not scream inside," she said with a frown.

"No!" Santana said standing up. "You came here with him?!"

"Santana, that is enough," Shelby stated and sighed heavily when she spotted Gus next to her.

"Hi, girls," he said.

"Back off, Fabio!" Santana hissed. "My mom doesn't need you! My sister is at home where my mother should be. She doesn't have time for you so go away."

"Santana!"

"No, Mom! This is so stupid!" Santana said facing her mother.

"Santana!" Shelby stated.

However, once again, Santana cut her mother off and began yelling in Spanglish, causing the mother to grab her keys and pull Santana outside toward the car.

"I guess they're going to leave?"

"No, she's just going to talk to her in the car so Santana can scream," Quinn frowned as she took another bite of bacon and watched them go out to the car. She looked at the police officer. She knew him, but she didn't. She certainly didn't know him well enough to share a meal with him.

"So... bacon and pancakes, huh?" he asked casually.

"...Uh... yeah," Quinn frowned as she watched her sister continue to yell animatedly in the car. For once, Quinn wished she was there for one of Santana's screaming matches. She heard that the Spanish that Santana had picked up came from her father's parents.

"So... school not good today?" he asked interrupting her thoughts.

"Nope," she grumbled.

"Do you think she thinks it's a date?" he asked.

Quinn frowned. they weren't friends. Why was he asking her this?

"Who?"

"Santana," he clarified.

"Clearly," she said rolling her eyes.

"How can I make it up to her? We were just coming here to relax. We're friends," he said casually. "I don't want upset her."

"Too late," she said shortly.

"Did I upset you?" he asked.

"You interrupted my lunch," she said with a frown, but then deflated when she realized who she was speaking with.

He laughed. "That's true, but you interrupted mine … my potential lunch."

"True," she replied. "But I didn't cause mass chaos."

"Touche," he said. "How can I make it up to you?"

'You can start by paying for my pancakes and bacon. My mom will be grateful because I'm eating," she said simply. "Santana's meal too."

He nodded. "You're good."

"Of course," she shrugged. She looked out at the car. Santana was now sitting with her arms folded and her eyes staring ahead like daggers. Shelby was clearly talking but not getting through to her at all. "I don't think you're escape the wrath of her though."

Gus followed her gaze. "I had a feeling that I needed to do more than buy Santana lunch to win her over."

"You didn't win me over," Quinn corrected. She paused. "My mom doesn't need douche bags right now."

"Noted," he smiled. "Thanks."

"Whatever," she replied. "Just don't be one to her."

….

Santana was so angry her face hurt.

"Santana, are you listening to me?" Shelby asked.

"No!" she fired back again. "Why are you doing this?"

"Doing what? Going to lunch with another man?" Santana didn't make a noteable reply save from her slightly less angry glare. "Santana, I have friends."

"No, you don't," she said. "You don't and... I … I don't like this." She huffed. "I know its not fair but we can't share you with anyone right now... We just... I'm sorry."

Shelby softened. "It's okay to be angry at me," she said gently.

"Stop," Santana said. "I don't want to do that with you. I don't want to talk it out. I'm mad at you."

Shelby sighed. "You're still in trouble for skipping school."

"Good!" she hissed.

"We will talk more tonight," she said sternly.

"Whatever," she muttered.

"Enough with the attitude, Santana," she barked. "I'm serious."

"So am I," she hissed.

"Fine," Shelby said. "Settle down until then we will talk."

Santana didn't speak to Shelby for the rest of ride. She didn't speak to Shelby after they met up with Rachel and made their way to the doctor's office. She didn't say one word to her mother. Rachel asked her what was going on. Santana ignored her question and asked her about the trip to the museum. The four of them waited quietly at the doctor's office. It was simply to check the girls' incision sites but that didn't ease either of their anxiety.

The nurse instructed the girls to change into their gowns and then the doctor would see them as soon as possible. And that was where yet another battle between Shelby and the girls began. Rachel didn't want to change at all. Quinn was demanding a separate room which only caused Rachel to become more upset.

"I can't," Quinn muttered. "I'm on my period."

"You can't because of that?" Rachel asked with a slight quiver in her voice.

"Come here," Santana said softly drawing Rachel into her chest. "She's okay."

"You can keep your underwear on. There will be no exams besides a quick look. This isn't up for discussion, girls," Shelby said again.

Rachel resigned to having Santana help her change, but Quinn looked around in panic.

"You can change behind this curtain," Shelby said pointing to the curtain in the room.

Quinn looked relieved and conceded to change behind it. She reemerged confident that she could hide her tattoo without the doctor seeing it. The plastic that still covered the tattoo crinkled and the blonde held the gown carefully closed.

"What's that?" Rachel asked from Santana's lap.

Quinn looked at the floor. A piece of medical tape and plastic that had been covering her tattoo fell to the floor. The blonde shrugged nervously.

"I don't know."

Shelby picked it up and examined it for a second before she led Quinn behind the curtain.

"Is this yours?" she asked quietly.

Quinn looked at her feel like a deer caught in the headlights. "Um..."

"I'm going to look," Shelby said as she lifted the bottom of the gown gently. She let out a heavy sigh when the raw tattoo came into sight. "Quinn..."

Sorry, it took so long everyone. This was supposed to be a little longer with a few more scenes but I think that this will be okay enough. Thank you! I hope it was okay. Please let me know what you think!