Open Wounds

by 216BLT

AU: The past is the past. Puck, Santana, & Rachel Corcoran have moved on from theirs, but when their mother decides to take in a teen, old memories resurface. Also, new scars are made as they navigate through adolescence, ones that might not heal.

55. Chapter 55

Scout88- There will be more Gus and Shelby scenes - he isnt going away anytime soon. Alicia has to be tough because the trial will be tough. They will hate her but they will understand why she is doing it and did it in the long run. Rachel and Quinn will both continue to have food problems because it is a learned behavior from very young with Rachel and with Quinn it is associated with terrible things. Kurt will still be very much a friend of Rachel's but he is in a very precarious situation because of his family. Quinn wont be picking up the cigarettes anytime soon. Santana is not going to lose her sister. Don't hold your breath for Finn to change and grow a heart - he doesnt think he did anything wrong and even if he was lied to by Quinn he still outed Santana and that is unacceptable. Once again you humble me with your kind words regarding this story it is reviews like this that keep me writing and wanting only to put out some of my best work. Thank you.

Abbie - I am sorry that this is such a hard read for you. I understand that it may be too tough for people to read and I appreciate all the reviews that I get - its ok that you cant review I understand. Thank you

NinjaGleek21 - Thank you! You'll have to gauge Shelby yourself in this chapter. We will see :) I love my little bee-bee, Rach. Thanks for the cookie.

thelastcenturian - thanks my friend! I'm sure there were a few flaws in there somewhere. hopefully, this update came soon enough.

look4me - Thank you for the review! I love San and Quinn together. They've come so far. You might see the results of the cig throwing... Rachel pushing Quinn to talk isn't something that Shelby would have encouraged definitely, but it's something that Rachel would do. she's eleven and is full of so many questions. I'm sorry you're not a Rachel fan. I adore her but I know that we all have our favorites and they're all not the same. Thank you for the compliments on the character development. It means a lot :)

OTHangels - Thank you!

dolphinluver46 - Thank you! Shelby will get there. Gus's development may be a little slower but you'll certainly see it. I hope that I've updated soon enough for you.

Cookie07 - It's okay that you didn't review the last chapter. While I miss you always, I'm grateful for any review you're able to offer. Santana opening up to Elyse was a huge! Clearly, I'm a huge Rachel fan and I'm sorry that you're not. It's oaky that you're not. I think that it's amazing that you still like the story even though you don't like her. Rachel and Sugar will bond but it won't be angelic. Both of their personalities are abrasive and I think that they both need that. You know?

littleredwritinggleek - I am glad you liked the humor in the chapter - the girls are very blunt and it is such a tough conversation for Quinn to have with Rachel but she is trying. Thank you for the review.

broadwaybound2016 - That part of the flashback was one of my betas favorite too. Thank you for the review.

Ryoko05 - Dont tell anyone but San is one of my favorites too. She is very protective of any friend her mom is going to have because of her past and also because she is so protective of her family. Thank you for reviewing.

Kimberlli - Well I am glad I didnt make you cry too much. Finn is a big douche and I am not a fan. He just needs to go away the selfish jerk. You will definitely see more of Sugar in the upcoming chapters and possible more Kurt - Thank you for reviewing.

marinka4 - Well Quinn gets her fate for the tattoo in this chapter and if Santana becomes a lawyer - you are correct people better watch out. She will make an incredible one as well as Noah is going to be a great police officer. Thanks for your continued support.

renata - Noah is sometimes the outsider because of his gender though - but - he is an incredible supportive brother that they will always lean on and be supported by - Joey and Nana try to treat the children as they normally would treat any children who have never suffered the trauma that these kids have endured. This is how Joey has treated her children so while it may seem bossy and overbearing it is natural for her and not scripted because the kids don't need that - The trial is coming soon and they still have to investigate how many others may have been involved - stay tuned it is coming - Thanks as always for your review and support.

FlatWeasley - Thank you for reading :)

Iuterpi - Finn is a big jerk and I think since Kurt has come back over and started to hang out with Rachel again it may happen more often because Rachel does need to keep friends her age and not to isolate herself. So there may possibly be more Kurt coming up. Quinn gets her punishment for the tattoo in this chapter and while Shelby understands why she got it - she is 16 and there are a slew of other reasons she should not have gotten one at this time.

piecesofyourheart - I am sorry it was too much for you and yes the trial is going to be very hard. I appreciate your continued support. Thank you

amandaes417 - Wow you definitely felt strongly about that last chapter! Thank you so much - it means a lot to me.

blueashke - Thank you for reading. Shelby is amazing.

Bookworm0485 - -Shelby gets a little re-charge in this chapter. Thanks for reading.

raelynne9 - Yes sad but there is progress. Thanks for the review.

croque - I hope you like it. Its a mixture of feelings. Thanks for the review.

A/N Sorry for the eleven day delay (even though I think that you have grown accustom to it.) I was spoiled enough to have one of my editors physically throwing things at me when I wasn't focusing on this so you can thank her (indirectly) for the update tonight/morning. Thank you for your patience. Please let me know what you think. Thank you to my awesome betas and amandaes417 and pcall006 for your feedback!

Chapter 55

Quinn had seen Shelby angry. She bit the side of her lip and bowed her head; at least she thought she had. Shelby was clenching her jaw and barely shaking her head with her eyes wide. The blonde looked at her more closely. Or was she just shaking? Was she that angry with her? Quinn felt herself frown. She didn't have a right to be angry at her. It was her body! She repeated internally, her body.

Shelby's gaze suddenly met Quinn's and her defense melted away. Shelby's eyes were unreadable but they were unquestioningly piercing.

"Knock, knock," Dr. Pierce said opening the door. Shelby opened the curtain and joined the girls. He smiled. "How are my two favorite patients?" He was met with an awkward silence as Quinn folded her arms over her chest defensively and Rachel leaned into Santana with a worried glance. He gave them a soft glance. "Let's make this quick and painless because I know that both of you are not huge fans of doctors. Who would like to go first?"

The room was quiet.

Suddenly, Shelby's voice cut through the silence. "Quinn will go first," she said simply. She gave the blonde a soft smile that made Quinn think that perhaps Shelby wasn't angry at her. But then Shelby continued. "She seems to have added to your art work."

Quinn never wanted to disappoint Shelby. She thought it was because of who she was that would push her away. Instead it was something she did; it was a choice that she made all on her own.

"What did Quinn do?" Rachel asked quietly from Santana's lap.

Santana gave her a small shake of her head.

"Alright, Quinn let's take a look."

Quinn climbed onto the table. Dr. Pierce led her to sit down gently and the blonde nodded with a frown. He draped a paper sheet over her legs and guided her to lie down. "I'm going to lift up your gown."

He noticed the tattoo first, raw and exposed now that the plastic had fallen off. He gave the girl a little sigh and nodded at Shelby.

"Wh-" Rachel began but then Santana put her hand over her sister's mouth and whispered something quietly in her ear.

The eldest daughter looked up and exchanged a glance with the blonde laying down. Then Shelby saw it. She saw that look in Santana's eyes. Santana knew about Quinn's tattoo. She knew.

"Alright, Quinn," Dr. Pierce said lowering her gown. She didn't realize that she had been holding her breath. She frowned. "You can sit up. Things look okay... but there is a spot around your tattoo that's starting to look a little infected so I am going to order a topical antibiotic that you need to apply twice a day for about a week. If it gets any worse I need you to tell Shelby immediately and get back into my office. On top of the topical medicine, you absolutely need to continue to take your oral antibiotic twice a day and no skipping." He looked at the girl with sympathetic eyes. "Quinn, your body can not fight infections like the rest of us because your spleen is gone. A simple cold for you could put you in the hospital-"

"It can?" Rachel asked quietly behind her.

"Yes," Dr. Pierce said looking at her with a smile. He turned back to the blonde with a more grave look. "I don't know where you got this tattoo but you need to be a lot more careful. I am sure Shelby will be going over this with you." He exchanged a look with Shelby. "Have you been seen by Dr. Fernandez for a checkup yet? You should be getting a full check up from her to make sure that you are getting healthy. You are still underweight and she will need the records from the clinic as well as your old primary care doctor's records from when you lived with your previous parents." The man let out a sigh. "I don't say this to my other patients, but I love you, Quinn. You need to take care of yourself."

Quinn nodded and stared at her hands. "Okay," she muttered. She felt a lump in her throat. Didn't they understand why she needed this? Didn't they see that she didn't mean to hurt them but she needed this to get through losing them if she did? Couldn't they see that?

Dr. Pierce stood and washed his hands. He spoke to Shelby quietly as Quinn climbed off of the table and reached for her clothes. "She needs those records transferred to the new doctor. We need to make sure her vaccines are up to date. She should see a gynecologist as well for her annual. Do you know if her periods are regular?" Shelby shrugged and looked at the girls as a million questions and worries cycled through her head. Dr. Pierce saw the uncertainty in Shelby's eyes, he nodded his head and caught the woman's gaze as he smiled at her kindly. "She is healing fine from the surgery though. That is good news."

Shelby looked over at her girls again. Rachel was leaning forward from Santana's lap looking impossibly close at Quinn's tattoo. Quinn was trying and failing to have a whispered conversation with Santana. Rachel reached out and poked the tattoo.

"Ouch!" Quinn bit.

Rachel shrunk back. "Sorry... I just … I asked if it hurt..." she muttered.

Santana arched her brow at both girls, telling them silently to knock it off.

"I will," Shelby said quietly to Dr. Pierce. "I just found out about the tattoo. Seems as if she kept it a secret. I might call you with more questions about it."

"Absolutely. Don't hesitate." He turned to the girls. "Alright, Rach," he smiled. "Ready?"

"I don't want to," she said.

"Rach, you just saw Quinn," Santana said. "It was super fast."

"No," she said with a frown.

"Yes," Shelby said walking toward her youngest. "You can climb up on the table yourself, Rachel, or I'm going to put you up there."

"No," she said again with her eyes narrowed. "I'm fine. No."

"Okay," Shelby said effortlessly lifting Rachel from Santana's lap and putting her on the table. "Lay down, bug." Rachel looked frantically at her mother. Shelby leaned close to her face cupping her cheek. "I'm right here."

Rachel looked over at her sisters. She didn't want to be a child anymore, she reminded herself. It was time to grow up. Growing up meant you were brave when you didn't feel brave she told herself. Be brave, she said as she squeezed her eyes shut. "Kay," she muttered as she lay down.

"Alright, Rachel, I'm going to pull up your gown and take a look," he said softly as he looked at the surgical site.

Be brave. Be brave. Be brave she repeated in her head. Be brave.

"And we're done," she suddenly heard Dr. Pierce say.

Rachel scrambled off of the table and over to Quinn and Santana as Dr. Pierce continued to speak with Shelby.

"Everything looks good," he smiled. He looked over softly at Rachel. "Rachel and Quinn, you're both still underweight. You need to drink lots of fluids and make sure you're eating healthy foods as well." He turned to Shelby. "Are you working with a nutritionist with them?" Shelby nodded. "Rachel, I want you to really evaluate your choice to be a vegan. Yes, you can be vegan and have a healthy lifestyle; however, right now you and Quinn need to have more foods in your diet. You need to eat more." He looked back at Shelby and continued. "I am also going to continue with the antibiotic with Rachel for a while as well. Rachel, you need to tell Mom if it starts to hurt to go potty or if your belly starts to hurt. I want to keep a close eye on you and I know Dr. Fernandez does too. I am not going to check you internally today because your mom told me that you are still using the cream and it is starting to improve - plus you have a follow-up with Dr. Fernandez in a couple of weeks - so I think you are good for today."

He turned over to Shelby. "You need to get both of these girls their flu shots and keep on them about their medicine - both should probably take a vitamin in the morning as well - I could prescribe it but have Dr. Fernandez do it so all their records are the same. I see that you have your hands full today so I won't take up anymore of your time." He smiled back at the girls who were talking quietly. "It was great to see you girls and I better get good reports about both of you!" He winked at Santana. "I'll see you later, San."

The room was quiet once Dr. Pierce left. Rachel looked between the girls and then at her mother. She felt the tension. She just didn't completely understand it.

"I thought bikers only had tattoos..." She looked at her sister. "Will you drive a motorcycle too?" Rachel asked honestly.

"No!" the three of them said simultaneously.

"It was a legitimate question," she muttered as they began to get redressed.

…..

Noah pulled his duffle over his shoulder as he made his way down the hallway.

He wasn't even sure where he was going. He didn't even know guidance counselors had offices. He wasn't sure what this meant. Was he in trouble? He frowned. She was a guidance counselor. What was she going to do?

"Hi, Noah," the woman with bambi eyes said as he knocked on the door. "Am I in the right place?"

She laughed. "Well, I'm the one who called you so yes..."

He laughed nervously. "I don't know who you are? Is this office new?"

Her greeting smile faded. "No, it's not." She motioned to the seat. "Take a seat." She opened a folder full of pamphlets and papers and looked through it carefully. "Alright," she smiled.

"What's that?" he asked.

"It's your file," she smiled.

"I really didn't mean to break that window …." he said cautiously.

She frowned. "What window?"

"Nothing," he muttered looking at the folder. "Nevermind. What's in there?"

"It's all the schools who have contacted us about you," she said simply.

"What?"

"Noah we know that you haven't chosen a college yet and we have been notified that a number of recruiters will be in attendance at the next game."

He looked at her with a frown. "Huh?"

"Is there any school that you have a strong preference towards? Do you have any idea of what courses you would like to take?"

"What?" he asked again.

"We can help make arrangements for you and your family to visit the schools or have the recruiters come to you personally and sit down here and talk," she said carefully.

"I'm just one guy... I … there's tons of other kids... smarter kids that you can work with."

"Noah, you're the only All-American in our county," she said with pride. "You're not just a guy. people want you. You just need to want this too. Is going to school something you want?"

"Um... he muttered. "I'm just one guy," he repeated.

"We know," Emma laughed. "that's why I'm here."

He frowned. "Does my mom know about all this?"

"Not yet, but I'm scheduling a meeting," she said. "Do you know what you want?"

"Yeah, but it doesn't have a thing to do with school."

"Thats okay, Noah. Right now just concentrate on the big game Friday and we will have you and your mom in next week to go over some of the schools you want to focus on and what kind of scholarships they are offering. This is a huge decision and you certainly can't make it alone. I just wanted to touch base with you today and tell you that there will be a number of recruiters at the game. Don't be alarmed if some of them come up to you after the game and try to get you to sign right away. This takes time and we are here to help you."

"Thanks, I guess I will talk to my mom and my grandfather and see what happens, but I am not promising anyone anything, right now my family comes first and no recruiter or scholarship is going to tell me otherwise."

Emma nodded. "I don't know everything you're going through, Noah, but... I know enough to know that they won't want to hold you back from all of the opportunities that are available to you." She sighed when she saw his shake of his head. "We'll schedule a meeting."

He nodded. "Kay. Thanks..."

Practice had been in a tidal wave of exhaustion that morning. He was just ready to find his sisters and go home. He frowned. He hadn't seen them most of the afternoon. He thought. Did he talk to them at all? He stood puzzled for a moment before deciding to go outside and watch for his mother. Maybe they were already out there.

A car honked. He looked up. His mother and sisters were in the car and looked to be terribly grumpy. He walked over to the car with a frown.

"Noah, will you sit back here with me?" Rachel called. "Mom separated all of us. Quinn and Santana wanted to sit together but they couldn't."

He gave his sister a nod and climbed into the car. "So... what happened?"

"We will speak at home," Shelby said sharply.

"That means we can't talk now," Rachel muttered to her brother.

He gave her a small smile. "Thanks," he whispered.

When they arrived at home, things didn't get any less tense. Noah was instructed to take Rachel into the kitchen for a snack and Quinn and Santana were led into the study. The two girls sat down quietly waiting for their always vocal mother to speak. They were waiting for her to announce her baffled disappointment.

Shelby shook her head. "I don't... I can't..." She paced in front of the girls who just looked at her with a frown. "I can not even put into words right now..." She shook her head and continued to pace. She put up her hands and faced the girls ready to open her mouth, but then she didn't say anything. She frowned and returned to pacing again.

She shook her head. "Grounded. Effective immediately," she said suddenly. "You can kiss any bit of freedom that you did have goodbye."

Santana frowned. "You're this mad because we skipped school?" she pushed still angry about the fact that Gus was apparently dating her mother, and her mom hadn't even spoken a word about it. She wasn't going to take this lying down. "We didn't even skip school. We skipped study hall... well we planned to. You're the one that caused us to skip the whole day."

"Shut up," Quinn hissed through her teeth as she elbowed her sister in the stomach with her cast

"Santana," Shelby said with an icy stare which reminded Santana that she wasn't the first HBIC in the family. "You're pushing your luck. I recommend that you don't push anymore. You're in trouble not just for skipping but lying -"

"No!" Santana hissed. "You can't yell at me. I left school because it sucked and you told me not to fight. I had to leave school or else I would fight. And you CANNOT yell at me for lying. You are dating!"

Shelby frowned and looked at her daughter gently. "I'm not. He's my friend and that is it," she smiled. She let her smile harden. "I am angry though. I can't not know where you are, girls. This is not okay. Not one bit."

Santana looked at her with a challenging frown. "That's not what this is about," she said.

"No, you're right, it's the fact that I'm trying to keep you girls safe and you can't listen or follow any directions," she said raising her voice.

"You're not mad at Santana," Quinn interrupted. "You're really mad at me. I'm the one who broke the rules."

"I am actually upset with both of your choices. I received two emails from the school about you Quinn. One from Coach and the other from your history teacher and then I find out that you snuck off and got a tattoo." Shelby shook her head. "I'm angry. Yeah, I am, but I still love you." She looked at Santana. "Both of you." She shook her head again. "Right now, neither of you are going to tell me why I'm angry. I am angry at both of you for so many reasons. I need time to collect myself and put it into words and you should be thankful for that." She sighed. "Go into the kitchen with your brother and sister and get a snack. Quinn, beginning now, you cannot be in a room without any adult present. Do I make myself clear?"

"Yes, ma'am," she whispered.

"Mom, this is ridiculous!" Santana continued to argue.

"Santana Louise! Out!" Shelby yelled. "Both of you get to the kitchen now."

Shelby walked into hallway and watched the girls disappear into the kitchen just as the front door closed.

"Uh... hi," Joey said as she unbuttoned her jacket. "What's wrong?"

Shelby pinched the bridge of her nose. She couldn't wrap her head around any of this, not even close. On top of everything with Quinn and Santana, she received an email from Emma about meeting about recruiters on Friday for Noah's future. Holly talked to her briefly when she picked up Rachel about Sugar saying something that upset Rachel for the majority of the afternoon field trip and it had to do with Sugar starting her period.

"Nothing," Shelby muttered, still pinching her nose. She suddenly felt a hand on her shoulder. She looked up and her mother was handing her her coat.

"Joanne, take Shelby far away from here. She needs a glass of wine … or two," Helen said softly.

Shelby put her hands up. "Mom, I'm fine," she said. "Yes, I'm a bit on edge but I just need a moment to gather my thoughts."

"I think you need more than a moment," Helen said nodding to her eldest daughter, who nodded and began to rebutton her coat.

"I am not sure if I should leave them," she said honestly.

"You can leave them enough to take a break. I will have them do their homework and get them settled. Everything was alright at the doctors right?" Helen asked as she pulled Shelby's wallet from her purse.

The woman gave a slight shake of her head. "Um... Yeah. The girls are still underweight but... things are fine." She pushed her wallet away as her mother offered it to her.

"Mom, I'm fine," she said with a frown. "Seriously. Just get out of my face for a second and let me breathe."

"That's what I'm try to say," Helen said softly. "You need to get out and breathe. The kids are fine. They have plenty of work to do."

"Quinn's grounded," Shelby began.

"Aren't they all grounded?" Joey asked.

Shelby shook her head. "Quinn cannot be alone at all anymore. She can't even be alone with the other two girls or Noah."

Helen frowned but nodded. "Go, it'll only be a few hours. They're supposed to be doing their homework anyway."

Shelby frowned. "Fine, but I am not kidding about Quinn. She needs to stay with just you or Dad only. I'll tell you later about what happened."

She started toward the door. She frowned and looked over her shoulder, hesitating. She shook her head. She couldn't say goodbye to the kids. What was there left to say?

About twenty minutes later, she and Joey were settled at the bar in one of the few local bistros.

"So, what's going on?"

Shelby took a sip of her wine. She was here to drink wine and not talk with Joey. She had felt so angry at that moment when she saw that tattoo, but now that her anger had stewed with her, she realized the person she was more angry at was herself. Was she really helping Quinn? Was she even able to attempt to love her enough? Initially, she was confident that she could, but now she was wondering. Was she failing them all in the long run? Quinn had been through so much that she couldn't help but think that she was digging the wound open. She was making it worse instead of helping her heal.

She was just one person and she believed so wholeheartedly that she wasn't enough. She couldn't possibly be. She sipped her wine as she silently thought about how the mistakes that she knew she was going to make would shape the kids in the future. She frowned as she replayed her conversation with Santana in her head. In so many ways, her daughter had always been out of her reach. Santana had been her father's daughter and Shelby could never help her in the way that she knew Leroy could have. Leroy could have done so much better by her. Shelby took another sip of wine. But Leroy was dead and all Santana and Shelby was there. Shelby couldn't throw Santana's tantrum back in her face.

Shelby scoffed internally. Here she was abandoning her all over again with a glass of Merlot. She frowned trying her best to search her memory where Santana was her girl, her big girl, Santana had always corrected. She sighed. She couldn't remember exactly but she did remember when Santana officially wasn't hers anymore and most importantly when she couldn't get her back.

As Shelby carried a three year old Rachel into the bedroom, she felt Santana trailing behind her. Shelby's family was out there. It was too much for them. She shouldn't have done that; she knew that now. It was too much. Noah and Rachel were finally asleep after the terrible overwhelming shock of all the relatives. Noah had eventually warmed up but Santana had stayed back the entire night. She wasn't interested in being in the same room as any of her family members, let alone talking to them.

She sighed and tucked Rachel in quietly. "Where do you want to sleep tonight, San?" she said quietly kneeling in front of her other daughter.

Santana looked around and looked at Rachel's bed and then looked at her own bed. The nine year old had her own room, but had insisted on still sharing with the tiny girl. This was their first night. Shelby just hoped they all made it through. She looked back up at her mother without a word.

"Santana," she said gently. "It's time for bed. Let's get you ready."

"I don't want to be here," she said with a frown. "I changed my mind."

"Where do you want to be?" Shelby asked calmly.

"I want to go home," she said.

"We are home," Shelby said. "Do you mean the shelter?"

Santana pushed away from her. "No, I mean our home... I want to go to the big house. I want to have my room there. I don't want to be here." Her voice was escalating. There was a deep panic in her eyes as the sheer truth of their new reality set in and the ending of all that used to be disappeared.

Shelby sighed and led Santana into the hallway.

"Don't," she hissed pushing back at her mother. Shelby picked her daughter up effortlessly and brought her to her bedroom hoping not to wake the others. "NO!" Santana scolded pushing herself out of her mother's arms.

"Okay," she muttered, releasing her daughter gently to the ground again. "Okay, we can't sleep at the other house. I'm sorry. I miss it too, but it's not ours anymore."

Santana frowned. "I don't want to be here," she said again stepping back, inadvertently knocking something off of the dresser. She watched the item crash to the floor and stared at its debris for a moment. She then yanked a lamp down and watched it fall before the mother could catch it.

"Santana, no," Shelby said with a frown.

"I don't want you!" she screamed kneeling back on her heels on the floor and began to throw the pieces at Shelby. "I don't want you!" She traced the pieces in her hands that were too small to throw. They were so small, but so sharp. The nine year old knew that they wouldn't hurt enough.

Shelby sighed, expecting this. However, her absent reaction wasn't what Santana wanted, Shelby knew that, but the mother wasn't going to feed the outburst; nevertheless, she would still support it. She wished she could help her daughter sort the upset that was in her mind. She wished she could ease that anxiety in her chest and the sadness in her heart, but she couldn't. All she could do was accept the jagged ceramic pieces that were being thrown at her. She could be her daughter's punching bag because her daughter had been one too long. Shelby wanted so badly to bear the brunt of it.

"Santana, I know that I'm not who you want. I'm sorry about that," she began.

"NO!" Santana burst again. "I don't want you! I want Daddy! Give me my Daddy!"

"I wish I could, San," Shelby whispered. She felt her heart in her chest ache. She wanted to give Santana everything. She wanted to give them all everything, but she couldn't. Not even close.

"That's not good enough!" she yelled.

"I know," Shelby said trying to will herself not to cry. She couldn't demonstrate to Santana that she didn't have it together. She knew that she had to reknow Santana again, and she knew that Santana couldn't be lead by a weak and weepy mother.

"You left! You left! I don't want you, but I HAVE to have you because you're all I have," she said throwing another piece of broken lamp at her mother, but this time more weakly. "I don't want you."

"I'm sorry that I'm your second choice, San, but I'm the only Mumma you're going to get, and I promise you I won't leave again," she said trying to move closer to her distraught daughter. Santana backed up, still on her knees.

"I don't want you," she whispered again.

"I know, San, but I'm all that's left," she whispered with tearful honesty.

"I know," Santana muttered back. "But... I still don't want you."

"You don't have to want me," Shelby replied moving closer again to her. "But I think you might need me."

Santana was silent at that. The girl had barely spoken to her since they moved back in the house that day. Shelby knew in this moment that Santana had held this truth close to her. The child let it build in her chest, waiting and hoping that it wasn't true. However, now, with the reminder that she could never really return to her father's, Santana knew now more than ever that this wasn't what she wanted. She wanted something else. She needed the person that was now in the ground who betrayed her by leaving her with the one person who ruined her life. It was such a hard burden to bear at nine years old. Shelby didn't have the ability to heal it.

"Shelby? Shelby?"

The woman looked up and took another sip of her wine. "What?" she sneered.

"Talk to me. What is going on?"

Shelby looked at her sister. "I can't do this. I'm screwing things up worse and -"

"Shut your mouth," Joey said with a sigh. "I love you but I'm not throwing you a pity party. Yes, you can have doubts, but you're not going to sit here and become a sloppy drunk."

Joey snapped her fingers at a waiter and began to order a bruschetta platter. The woman waved the waiter off once she ordered and turned to her still baffled sister.

"I'm sorry. I love you, but this …." she waved her hand in front of her sister. "This... thing you're doing. You're retracing every moment that things went wrong aren't you? You're probably thinking about where you could have pushed Rachel more and Santana less or where you could have been more direct with Noah or how you could have helped Quinn not become so sullen, but Shelby, you're one person. You're a parent. We aren't perfect but you're obnoxiously nearly close to it. So what's going on that made you wallow?"

"Have you been paying attention?" Shelby asked. "What's not going on?" She shook her head. "Quinn has a tattoo. Santana knows about it. She argued with Gus at the diner-"

"Wait, you went with Gus to the diner?" she asked.

Shelby pushed her hand in her face. "Not the point."

Joey rolled her eyes. "Fine. Tattoo? It's not something gaudy is it? A huge ship? Or a giant cross with Jesus on it... Thorns and all?"

"Stop," Shelby said with a sigh. She thought for a moment. "Just... Just stop." She sighed. "Quinn has a tattoo of ….." Shelby thought for a moment about it. What exactly was it. She was too shocked about what she was seeing to really soak it up. She frowned. A lamb? She looked at the ceiling again. A date? What was the date?

Then it hit her.

"God damn it," she said out loud.

She felt herself feel the air being pulled from her body. Quinn had been examined closely by Dr. Pierce. The date. The lamb. Shelby felt like a heartless angry bitch. She put her hands on her face. She couldn't do this.

"Shel?"

Shelby felt her eyes sting with tears. Her heart hurt; she had missed a key point. The tattoo wasn't a test of limits. It was a permanent reminder of what Shelby had been able to give Quinn, as little as it was, it was the biggest gift that the girl had ever received. Shelby felt like a jerk. She had scolded a girl that felt too low already after a lifetime of not ever expecting anything more. The lamb was so much more than that... That tattoo was the first choice that that little girl had made for her. And Shelby had thrown it back in her face.

Shelby rested her forehead on the table and raised her arm. Their sheepish waiter came over to them with a dreading look.

"Can I help you?"

"Bourbon," Shelby said into the table. "Now."

Joey looked at him. "Oh shit," she mumbled as she looked at her defeated sister. She looked back up at the waiter. "Go. Now. I promise, I'll actually tip you this time..." She looked at him embarrassed. "Okay... and those last couple times too."

The boy scampered off to the bar.

Joey took her sister's hand from underneath her head. "Okay," she began. "Firstly, you're a very unattractive and sloppy drunk so you can't go home drunk. Secondly, use your words. I can't help you if you don't."

"Shehasthetattoobecauseshe-" Shelby began.

"Don't talk to the table. Talk to me."

Shelby looked up with her hand pushing up her cheek. "She got that tattoo for her. It was her choice. She did it for her. This girl has NEVER done anything for her. Ever."

"So?" Joey said. Shelby shot her a glare. "Okay, let me rephrase. Yes, she might have made a huge step for herself. However, she still went out and got a tattoo... at sixteen. She's a baby. And I think we all forget how young sixteen is because she's so... In so many ways, Quinn is so aged. But, she still did something wrong." Joey sighed. "Yes, she is destined to do things wrong every now and then. She's a person; it's in our DNA. But, you have to be consistent with her. She needs you to be a little mad at her... PLUS..." Joey trailed off.

"What?" Shelby asked ripping the glass of bourbon off of the waiter's tray.

"Ohio has some pretty strict laws on tattoos. Being that you didn't know about this, I will bet my husband, not really, that she forged your signature to get this tattoo."

Shelby downed her drink. "She doesn't act like she wants to be in school."

"Yeah, and she skipped with San right?"

The younger mother nodded with a frown. "She doesn't want to be in Cheerios. She has lied to her teachers... I don't know how to do this."

"Yes, you do," Joey said softly.

"I can't... I can't let her down. I can't let them down," she felt a lump in her throat and then a sob escaped her lips. "This isn't like your children where I can mess up all the time," she said waving her hand in the air with a sob.

Joey frowned, trying to figure out if she was going to take offense.

Shelby felt the tears ache in her chest. "I have had years to rebuild things with Noah and San and Rach... and …. now with Quinn, I can't help but think that I'm kicking them more when they're down. I'm just... I'm..." Shelby wiped her tears and took a sip of water. "We're moving backwards..."

"Shelby?"

"... Joey, I can't do this..." She began to let out another sob. "You're here... Bear is here. Mom is here. Dad's here and …. I can't do this...I've never been able to. I've never been enough for them and now I took on Quinn only to disappoint her. She is.…. I can't be another person on her list that let's her down, but I am," she sobbed. "I have all of you helping me but... I'm still not doing enough."

"Shel," Joey said reaching out to her. "To you, it'll never be enough. You're doing a fantastic job. You're amazing. You are alone in a lot of ways. We're here to support you. You're the mom. Not us. You still call all of the shots. We're just here to feed them and watch them but you're the parent. You're the mom."

"And I'm doing a crap job!" she said with an exasperated sigh. "How have I been doing this? How have I gotten to the other side of these nine years? I can't..." She looked at her sister with raw, worn eyes. "I love them so so much, but I can't keep putting them through the ringer like this. I can't continue to keep watching them struggle like this when Rachel is in high school. I can't... I …." She buried her face in her hands.

"Shelby, you knew this was never going to be easy," she began carefully.

"I know that! I've known that since my two year old wouldn't let me hold her!" she snapped. "I get it. It's hard, but I can't... I can't accept that their lives will be like this forever. I won't …. And I can't help but feel like I'm a contributor. I'm the iceberg to their titanic."

Joey paused and pushed a glass of water in Shelby's direction. "First of all, your children aren't the titanic. You and your metaphors... Rachel is your child... Okay...but if you're going to speak that way. You're not the iceberg, you're the fucking lifeboats... You're the one lifeboat that's pulling people from the water and filling up, unlike those weak lifeboats..."

Shelby put her hand up. "No more Titanic references."

"Fine," she said with a tiny huff. "But honestly, you have been consistent. You have fought for them and helped them through. You're going to continue to do so."

"It's just... It's just so damn hard," she whispered. "I never know if I'm going to scar them again."

Joey gave a gentle shrug. "Maybe you will and maybe you won't, but you can't be perfect Shelby. You're going to make mistakes but no mistake will be bigger than walking away. No one can do it better than you." She sighed. "Santana keeps pushing you … She keeps pushing you more than the other three because she is just making sure you're still there. She's so scared you're going to leave her."

"I would never leave them," she said quickly.

"By doing this, Shel, by doubting everything that you do, you are," she whispered. "Stick to your guns and help them get to the other side of this. In the end they know you'll always be here. You just have to remind yourself of that." She sat up. "Like tonight. You left. The kids might not know where your head is, but they know you're coming back. I remember there was a time when you would walk out that door and Rachel would wait at that damn window bench in the front room until you returned."

Shelby grimaced. "She still does that."

Joey frowned. "The point is you'll come back."

"I'll always come back but... I just wish... I wish there was someone to help..." Shelby trailed off. "I can't do this anymore, Joey... I can't keep expecting him to come back. I understand how pathetic it makes me. I'm pining for my dead ex-husband who left me for a man that raped and abused my kids..." She looked at her hands. "I have to stop. I need to be here right now and …. I just... I don't know how to stop." She felt another sob rip from her lips. "This is not how I pictured my life."

Joey looked at her gently. "I know," she whispered. She looked at her honestly. "Listen, I miss him too, Shelby, but he's gone. He's not coming back and I'm not saying you have to 'move on' because I think that phrase is crap...Your life is different. It's changed forever and you'll never get back to what it was before everything. I'm not saying that you can't stop missing it but you have to stop wanting it. Does that make sense?"

She looked at her thoughtfully.

"I know you Shelby. You think about weird things in the future. You want to walk them down the aisle. You want to be there when they host their first Thanksgivings. You want to be there and now you're just afraid they won't get there." Joey looked at her. "You being with Gus is important for them to see. Yes, it'll be hard at the beginning but ….You can show them that you're moving on. That's not going to hurt them. That's going to show them that it's possible."

Shelby nodded and quietly took a drink of water. She gathered her words in her head. "What can I do when my good isn't good enough? When it feels like all that I touch tumbles down? You know?"

"Well," Joey said with a light shrug. "You fuck it up and then you keep trying until you get it right."

"You're so eloquent," she muttered. "Let's finish up here. I have children to tend to and my own gray hairs to manage."

….

Quinn stared at her work. They had had dinner in almost silence, had a battle over food portions and then now for the longest three hours of their lives they had been doing homework.

The words of her history book that she hadn't opened for almost a week were becoming blurred into unrelated letters. Rachel was looking at her. Not just looking at her but was staring at her as if she were going to break... or maybe as if Quinn herself was going to break. Either way, it was bothering her. She didn't know what to say. She felt like crap, she didn't need to snap at the tiny fragile girl and feel like an even bigger asshole. The fact that she disappointed Shelby was enough. She didn't need to be reminded that she had told her eleven year old sister that her father had gotten her pregnant. That wasn't news she ever planned on delivering.

"I need to go to the bathroom," she started toward the door suddenly. She stopped. "Can I go?"

Rachel looked back at her book as Quinn snuck a glance toward her. Another punch to the gut, Quinn thought to herself. She was shredded, grilling and burning the last bit of Rachel's innocence by tainting her with her truth. She sighed. Before she used to condemn them for not being honest with her, now she felt like she was running over boxes of newborn puppies if she made Rachel sad in any way.

"Sure," Nana said standing up.

Quinn turned and headed up the stairs. She was going to pretend she was going to the bathroom but she was going to sneak up the stairs and - Her thoughts immediately stopped when she heard footsteps behind her climbing the stairs. She turned and saw Nana staring at her.

"Um... I'm going to the bathroom," she said.

"Your mother said you're not allowed to be alone and that means the bathroom too," she said simply.

"You're going to watch me pee?" Quinn frowned.

"No, but I'm going to stand at the door probably in that slight alcove," she said.

Quinn frowned. "I don't need to go anymore," she said quietly.

"You don't?"

"No," she said deflated.

"It was a decoy?" the older woman asked with a smile.

"Yes," she said with a huff. She wandered back into the kitchen to the island and sat in her seat next to Rachel who was practically breathing in her ear. Her shallow breathing saying, 'Love me. Look at me.'

She sighed and grabbed her pencil and began to write. However, she was stopped. On her notebook was a piece of paper and in perfect cursive it said, "I'm sorry I made you cry."

Quinn sighed. God damn puppies in a box.

She wrote back on it, "Don't be sorry. Seriously. I'm not angry. I promise. :)." Happy faces make things better, she told herself.

She watched Rachel read it cautiously and then tentatively write back. "You can be angry. I know you are angry at yourself and by extension you're angry at me... That's okay..."

Quinn sighed. "Can we talk about this not on loose leaf, later? I'm not mad and I don't want to have to explain it on paper."

Rachel bowed her head as she read Quinn's words. Maybe, she had been too harsh, Quinn thought.

"Okay," Rachel wrote back simply.

The blonde looked up and Santana was staring at her with a frown from Rachel's other side. However, before more notes of questions could be asked, the back door opened and Shelby came through the door.

"Hi," Shelby said gently. She went around the room and kissed them all softly on the tops of their heads. "Did we all eat dinner?"

"Ma, it's like... ten o'clock," Noah said looking at Rachel with a frown. "Someone should be going to bed but... hasn't."

Rachel turned and frowned at him.

"Actually, all of you should be heading to bed. You've been working on your work for hours. You should be all set right?" Shelby asked with an exhausted smile.

The kids all muttered and shuffled upstairs. Shelby could tell that Rachel was trying to get Quinn's attention. Quinn was trying to ignore Rachel's attention and then Santana was attempting to push herself as physically far from Shelby as possible. Noah, as always, was caught in his own thoughts while simultaneously soaking in the scene before him.

About twenty minutes later they were almost finished getting ready for bed. Noah was helping Rachel get tucked into Santana's bed and Santana and Quinn were trying to talk to each other but were being wardened by Nana. They certainly didn't want to talk about things in front of her, so not much ended up being discussed between the teens. Joey called up the stairs with her dog in her arms. Santana rolled her eyes but continued to brush her teeth.

"Hey, Shel, you'll never guess what I found in the bushes in the back when I was taking Charlie out," she called.

Santana and Quinn met each other's eyes with dread as they froze.

Joey and Shelby peaked into the bathroom. "Care to explain these tonight or tomorrow?" Shelby asked holding up the box of cigarettes with a look of exhausted annoyance more than anger.

"Tomorrow," Santana said.

Quinn nodded. "Yup, tomorrow."

Shelby nodded. "Fine," she said. "Quinn, I've had Pop-Pop move your blankets and lamb in. You'll sleep with me tonight, okay? Unless you want us to sleep in your bed."

"Why?" Quinn asked trying to conceal her contentment of sleeping in Shelby's room. It would never be anything that she would ask for, but it was something that she never really protested to. She felt a slight flutter in her heart. Shelby couldn't be that furious with her... No, Quinn, she reminded herself. This means she doesn't trust you when you sleep.

"Everyone all set?" Michael asked from the hallway.

"Where's George?" Rachel called.

"I got it," Michael said heading back across the hallway.

Joey waved goodbye and headed back down the stairs to head out for the night. Shelby disappeared into Rachel's room and kissed her goodnight and hugged Noah before he disappeared into his room. Santana tried to dawdle in the bathroom as long as possible until it was time to follow her grandfather across the hall and crawl into bed with Rachel.

"San," Shelby called out.

Santana sighed. "Yeah?" she asked, barely turning around.

Shelby walked in front of her and lifted her daughter's chin so that she was looking directly at her eldest daughter's sullen gaze.

"I love you," she said with brute honesty. "So so much."

Santana shrugged. "Yeah, I know."

"We'll talk tomorrow," she said kissing her lightly on the cheek.

"Kay," she whispered.

"Night," she muttered.

Shelby wandered into her own room and saw Quinn standing near the bed. Shelby was reminded of a time when she had to coax the girl to sleep in a bed and now Quinn was waiting patiently before climbing into one of the few beds where she felt safe, but refused to admit it.

Shelby smiled at her. "You ready for bed?" Quinn nodded. "If you don't feel comfortable..."

Quinn suddenly let out a small sob. She stood awkwardly near the bed. Shelby gave a small rueful sigh and wrapped her arms around the girl. Quinn hated and loved Shelby for this. The woman left the house because Quinn had made her so angry that she lost her words and now she was here hugging her and comforting her.

"I know you've had a hard day, sweetie," she said quietly. She smiled into the blonde's hair. "A long couple days. I'm not thrilled in the least about the tattoo," she continued with her arms still wrapped around her. "But I still love you. I'm still so thankful for you and I'm forever grateful to call you my daughter." She pulled away slightly and cupped her cheek. "So proudly so."

"I'm so sorry," Quinn cried into her neck.

"For what?" she asked.

"I told Rachel all of those things... I told her those things about me... and made her cry," the blonde said wiping her tears.

"Shh," Shelby said gently. "Don't be sorry. We all know how Rach can be with all of her questions. You were just being honest with her.-"

"Well, clearly that wasn't a good idea," she said stifling another sob unsuccessfully.

"It's alright," Shelby said. "You were actually doing what Alicia was advising us to do: not sheltering her from the truth. No one is mad about that. We'll just have to remember to have a conversation with Rachel about what you two talked about."

"I would really rather not," she muttered. "I feel like I've done enough damage."

Shelby pulled her into her arms again cradling her head in the crook of her arm. "You haven't damaged anything."

"I have... I'm sorry about everything all of it..."

"Q-bear," she cooed softly wrapping her in her arms more tightly. "I love you. You've apologized enough. We're going to sleep now and start anew tomorrow. I'll love you tomorrow and the day after and the day after that."

Shelby eased Quinn and her lamb into the bed. Thankful that the medicine was kicking in. Quinn eased her eyes shut as she relaxed in Shelby's arms. The mother sighed, fell into sleep and into a memory that she had almost forgotten ever existed: a time of innocence.

Shelby scooped another spoonful of hummus onto her carrot and popped it into her mouth. Santana and Noah had just arrived back from school. It was snack time.

"Mumma?!"

Shelby looked up and her five year old daughter, almost six year old, was staring at her with a deep set frown. Shelby finished chewing and looked at her child with a bashful laugh.

"Yes?" she asked.

"Mumma..." Santana began. She straightened to clearly demonstrate that she meant business.

Shelby mimicked her young daughter and folded her hand on the table. "Yes, my big girl?"

"Why..." She paused. "...Um..." She paused again.

"It's okay, Santana," Shelby said, sensing her daughters careful cogitation about her important statement. Santana had more noticeably

"Mumma," she said again more confidently.

"Yes?" she asked with a smile. She never knew what her children would say.

"You should stop eating," Santana said plainly. "You're getting big and round."

Shelby stared at her daughter in shock and didn't even look up when her son spit his milk on the table.

"San, you're not supposed to call ladies fat," he whispered. "Daddy said."

"She's Mumma not a lady," Santana said with an eye roll. "Right Mumma?" Before Shelby could answer, Santana went on. "The only person I know who eats as much as you is Bubbles at school... PLUS yesterday, at Mattie Moo's you wouldn't share your cookie dough brownie top sundae with me OR Daddy-"

"Or me!" Noah said with a frown.

Santana rolled her eyes and went on. "Mamma, you needs to share."

"I need to share," Shelby corrected with a sigh.

"That's what I said," Santana said. She turned to her brother. "I said that right?"

Shelby stared at her daughter with a deep-set frown and her jaw hanging open in pure shock. "Um... well," she managed. She took a deep breath and collected herself. "I'm …. Okay... Noah, we all need to talk-"

"About you not sharing?" Santana asked.

Shelby looked at her daughter gently. "San, we've talked about interrupting people. Meaning talking when other people are talking."

Santana frowned. "Sorry..."

"Noah, please either eat the pretzel or throw it away. You've licked all of the salt off of it and now it's soggy," Shelby said offering her son a napkin. Noah frowned and started to put the pretzel back in the bag. "Noah! Have you been licking off all the salt on the pretzels and putting them back in there?"

Noah frowned. Shelby had her reply. She reached over and took the bag, giving her first born one last handful of half-soggy pretzels and threw the rest of the bag away. "Noah, please do not do this anymore. It's disgusting."

Santana shrugged in a way that made the mother think that her children had done worse things. Oatmeal in the underwear drawer, she reminded herself. Her children's endless, though disgusting, imaginations were ceaselessly inventive. She made a mental note to have Leroy and herself talk more about it. She frowned and looked at her children who were silently exchanging looks, in a way that only siblings could. She and Leroy wanted to wait and tell the children together. Before when Santana was born, Noah was two and didn't need much of an explanation of the miracle of life. However, now both of them had minds that were way too quick and dangerous for their own good. She rolled her eyes with a slight frown, looking in the direction of the newly tossed pretzels. Clearly, she told herself. She wanted to do this with Leroy but clearly she had some questions to answer now.

"Alright," she said facing the kids. "I need to tell you something."

Santana crossed her arms. "What? You and Bubbles both eat and -"

"Santana, who is Bubbles?"

"Mumma, you interrupted me," Santana said.

Shelby frowned. She had found herself with her foot in her mouth more than once with her children. She didn't want to scar them when she told them about their new baby sister. They had just found out that it was going to be a girl, their Rachel. Just as Leroy had predicted much to Shelby's chargin.

"I am sorry, Santana. Please finish what you were saying," Shelby said to the five year old.

"You and Bubbles both eat a lot and I think... I think well... you should stop eating as much. Do you still go running with my daddy?"

"He's my daddy, too," Noah corrected.

Santana glowered at her brother. "No," she said.

"To answer your question," Shelby intervened. "Yes, Daddy and I still go running."

The girl looked at her mother. "It doesn't look like it."

Shelby looked at her body, suddenly fearful that her five year old was acosting any person that looked overweight. "Everyone looks differently, Santana. Bodies change."

"Because people eat a lot," she said simply.

"Yes, but sometimes, people can't help how they look. Sometimes, medically, they cannot lose weight," Shelby said softly trying her best to teach her intrepid daughter a lesson.

The five year old looked at her mother. "So they can be … BIG and... ROUND... and... bumpy-"

Shelby frowned. "Bumpy? What do you mean?"

Noah looked up from where he was still sorting through his soggy pretzels. "Like... Mrs. O'Leary...she's bumpy."

The expression of curiosity melted off of Shelby's face and was replaced by a look of utter embarrassment and confounding shock. Mrs. O'Leary wore tight pants all of the time and her cellulite was clearly outlined through it. Her children, of course, would see that.

"Guys, when you describe people how they look when they look differently from others it's rude," she said as simply as she could.

"Why?" Santana asked.

"Because people are different. You're different. I'm different and Noah's different," Shelby attempted to explain. "It's okay to be different but when people point out people's differences in... a mean way, it can be hurtful. Like when you say something about someone with a face -"

"Her yucky face?" Noah asked.

"My yuck face?" Santana asked.

He nodded. "When you don't like something you make this face and everyone knows it."

She frowned. "Do I Mumma?"

"Sometimes," Shelby said. "But see Santana? When your brother pointed something like that out to you it can be hurtful because you don't mean to make that face, but you do. However, if you are pointing at people and describing them in ways that aren't very nice, it can make them sad. Do you think Mrs. O'Leary wants to be described as 'big, round, and...bumpy?'"

Santana thought about this for a moment. "No," she said.

"No," Noah echoed.

Shelby internally commended herself. Okay, check. She paused. "Wait, Santana. Who's Bubbles?"

"This boy in my class," she said simply with a shrug. "I named him that."

Shelby sighed at her daughter's casual air. Clearly that point hadn't been made yet.

"Wait... is calling him that bad?"

Shelby paused. Maybe she spoke too soon.

"Well, why do you call him that?" Shelby asked.

"Because he looks like a bubble," she said again thinking over her words carefully as if they were about to push her into a trap. "Like... like the ones that Noah can blow with the Bubblicious Bubble Gum."

The mother waited patiently as Noah and Santana mulled this over.

"So that's rude?" Noah asked.

"I think so," Santana said. "Right?" she frowned again. "But he likes being called Bubbles."

"Yeah, he does," Noah gibbed in.

Shelby tilted her head. "What's his real name?"

"Cornelius Castelluccio," Santana said with a struggle to say his last name. She nodded. "He doesn't like his name."

Shelby sighed trying her best to conceal her smile. "Well, that might be the case, but..."

"It's because he's Bubbles. If he wasn't Bubbles he might cry," Santana said carefully.

Shelby nodded and tapped her daughter's nose with her finger. "That's it," she smiled.

A comfortable silence fell over them as Shelby basked in her success of teaching her forever stubborn children a lesson.

"Soooo..." Santana said. "Why do you keep eating so much?"

Shelby sighed. Oh, right, that's how they had began. "Okay," she said with a deep breath. "Your Daddy and I wanted to talk to you together about this, and will probably talk to you more about this later. I promise."

"Kay," Noah said as he stood up from the table.

Santana grabbed his arm. "No, stay. I wanna know. Fat people die earlier. Mommy can't be dead."

"Wait," Shelby said. "Santana, who told you that?"

The five year old looked at her mother. "I don't know, the lady at school. The one who gave us the yucky granola stuff and pictures."

Shelby suddenly wondered how many other five year olds misconstrued the health demonstrations at schools. She bucked up. She had to not make this conversation be another one of those demonstrations gone awry.

"Guys, I'm eating for two people now," she began.

Santana narrowed her eyes and arched her brow. "We know."

"Know what?"

"That you're eating for two people," Santana said frankly.

Shelby frowned. "You know?"

"Yeah, because you're bigger... Who are you eating for? Daddy?" she looked at Noah and gave him an up-down. "You're not eating for him are you?"

"Santana, we've talked about talking about people in front of them. Noah is still sitting next to you." Santana looked back at her, puzzled. "And he can hear you," she emphasized.

She turned to her brother. "Sorry." The two of them looked at her expectantly. "So... who are you eating for?"

"Your sister," she said simply. Be frank, be simple, she told herself.

Noah looked at Santana and Santana looked at Noah.

"... Um... Where is …. Wait... who?" Noah managed.

"Guys, I'm pregnant," Shelby said.

A look of understanding settled on Noah's face. "I get it!"

Santana frowned more deeply. "I don't!"

"Mommy has a baby in her belly," Noah said reaching for a soggy pretzel. Shelby nodded, impressed with her son. "She has to feed it by eating."

Santana scowled at her brother and tethered her gaze between her mother and her brother. "How?" she asked.

Noah shrugged as he chewed the pretzel. "I don't know but Mommy will get REAL big and then push the baby out of her belly button."

"Uh, actually, no," Shelby said.

"Her belly button?"

"No," she said again.

"Yes," Noah said. "Wayne in my class said that the belly button feeds the baby and gives the baby life."

Santana lifted her shirt and looked at her belly button. "Mine doesn't do anything."

"It's true. And you know what?" Santana looked at him, patiently. "Daddy put the baby there."

"Where did he get it?" Santana asked.

"His pee pee!"

Shelby put up her hands. "Okay!" she clearly needed to clarify this.

"No, Mumma! I know! There are tadpoles in daddy's pee pee-"

"Will they be frogs?"

Noah shook his head confidently. "No, they swim to Mumma's garden and then... the baby crawls in the stomach...I think..."

Santana frowned as she faced her mother again. "Where is your garden? Can I see it? Are there other babies in the garden?"

Shelby looked at her children. What just happened? "Well, sorta. Babies come from your privates, it's a bit complicated, but yes, you're right. Babies come out of Mommy's privates."

Noah and Santana looked at her in horror. "No wonder boys dont have babies that would hurt too much!"

"Well, it hurts for mommies too," Shelby smiled. She looked at Santana who was staring at her in confusion and then looking in between her legs.

"Is there... Will a baby fall out when you pee?" she asked.

"No, no, Sanny," Shelby smiled. "You won't have to learn about that for a long time. And your sister will come out at a hospital."

Santana looked at her again and then looked at her brother. "My daddy did not put a baby in your stomach."

"I assure you he did," Shelby said with a laugh.

"Prove it," Santana countered.

Shelby sighed. "No, I promise you. Daddy and I did this together. He's already picked out a name."

"Nope," she said. "My Daddy wouldn't do that."

"You can ask him when he gets home," Shelby said with a smile.

Santana scowled and looked at her mother then looked at her brother and then back at her mother's stomach.

"So she's in there?" she asked with baffled curiosity. "Right now? She's stuck in there with your hummus? You covered her with your hummus?"

"Not exactly," she replied with a smile.

"The hummus goes in her belly button," Noah asked. "Right? Mom?... Mom?... Mom?"

Shelby jumped and opened her eyes to the darkness. She remembered that moment clearly and she remembered in that moment thinking that was a big hurdle. Now the memory was littered with bittersweet irony.

"Mom? Mom?"

She opened her eyes and watched light filter into the room.

Rachel was standing in the doorway looking at her with exhausted eyes. Shelby crawled out of bed and caught sight of the clock. 3:46am. They almost made it through the night, she thought to herself as she ushered Rachel out of the room to see what she needed.

…..

Quinn woke up and and felt a knee in her back and then a hand on her face. She removed the hand on her face and opened her eyes. Rachel was gripping onto the front of Shelby's shirt with one hand and had her other hand on Quinn's face. Quinn frowned and looked over her shoulder. Santana was spooning her other side, still sound asleep. How big was this bed?

"Morning."

She looked over Rachel and Shelby was looking at her with a soft smile.

"Did you sleep alright?" the mother asked.

"Til now," Quinn mumbled.

"Shush," Santana moaned. "Sleep."

"Are we late?" Rachel grumbled with her eyes closed.

"Not yet," Shelby said looking at the clock.

"Why does it matter? You're not going," Santana muttered.

Rachel huffed but kept her eyes closed.

Shelby disentangled herself. "15 minutes girls and then out of bed." She peeked out into the hallway.

Quinn eased back into sleep, grateful for a little more rest. She sighed.

"Quinn?" Rachel's voice rang out.

The blonde groaned. "Yeah?"

"Why... Why..." she began.

"Bug, I'm tired. What's up?" she mumbled.

"Why can't you take off your clothes if you have your period?" she asked.

The blonde opened her eyes and looked at the perplexed girl. "What?"

"Yesterday at the doctor's, you said that?"

Quinn rolled her eyes and closed them. "I don't remember half of what I say."

"Don't tell her that," Santana urged with exhaustion.

"You don't?" Rachel asked again making Quinn feel as if she were a puppy killer.

"No, I don't," she said honestly opening her eyes. "I don't know if I said that. I'm sorry if I hurt your feelings."

Rachel sat up and leaned back against the pillows. "You didn't... you didn't hurt my feelings...I just don't understand... how badly does it hurt?"

Quinn felt Santana shift behind her. Quinn turned on her back and looked at her, begging for help.

"Rach," Santana began. "It's really early. It feels like a bad tummy ache, but you can still do stuff. Q was just saying that so she didn't have to do it."

The young girl frowned. "Oh," she mumbled. "I'm going to … go..."

Quinn squeezed her eyes shut. "Rachel, come back."

"No, it's fine. You … you didn't hurt my feelings... I just... um...I'm sorry for asking so many questions." She shrugged and let George dangle at her side as she slowly left the room.

Quinn groaned. "Fuck, how does she do that?"

"Make you feel like crap so quickly?" Santana asked. "It's a gift," she sighed.

….

A few hours later, Shelby shifted in her seat. She looked over her shoulder at the window. Quinn was waiting outside the office with Santana. She sighed and turned back to the principal.

"Alright, Mrs. Corcoran, thank you for coming in today," the principal said as he folded his hands.

The mother nodded and looked at the other man in the room. What was the superintendent doing here?

"We have a lot to talk about," the mother said, taking the defensive with her approach. "I understand that my children broke the rules; however, how is it that they were able to leave so easily? If I remember correctly, according to the letter that you sent out last week, we were going to really crack down on security and really monitor the students. My daughter, Santana, is being harassed and Quinn has apparently been skipping history for over a week. Please explain this to me. I send my children to school in hopes that they will be safe, academically challenged, and personally enlightened. My children aren't getting any of that."

"Mrs. Corcoran," the superintendent began. "We apologize for all that your family is going through-"

"Don't," she hissed. "You and I know very well, Simon, that you are here only because your school district is being examined by the entire country because you allowed a predator into your school. How many young girls were lured into his classroom? I'm not here to talk about that. I'm here to help my children get an education and I would be happy to take them elsewhere if need be."

The man sighed and looked at her. "We are trying our best to -"

"Your best isn't good enough," she interrupted. "Finn Hudson is testifying against my girls. Tell me if we can come up with a safety plan here to ensure that their interactions are nonexistent or at least minimal."

The principal sighed. "You know we don't have the resources to do that, Shelby."

The woman squeezed her eyes shut. "What are you and your teams doing about the harassment? I won't tolerate it. And quite frankly neither should you. Yes, we are all tied to the social stigmas of this community but what are we teaching these kids if we let it go?"

There was a heavy sigh. "I wish I could tell you that we can try to eliminate all harassment. However, change doesn't happen overnight and we certainly cannot promise to be able to monitor and work on the hatred. We had an assembly on the new anti-bullying policy and we've made some progress, but we can't control all of it nor hear every taunting word."

Shelby sighed. "I understand that. Therefore, I have no choice but to pull Quinn from school for the rest of the semester. I'll speak with Santana and Noah, but I certainly hope that school becomes less of a twisted war zone and more like an actual learning environment." She stood. "Is there a place where I can speak to my daughters?"

The principle was given a look by the superintendent and he stood with a nod.

"You can use my office," the principal offered.

Shelby nodded and ushered the baffled girls into the office. Santana looked at her with a frown and crossed arms as Quinn stared at her hands, pretending she was elsewhere.

"What's going on?"

The mother straightened. "I don't think that this school is good for the two of you. Quinn, I can't keep your interactions with Finn monitored and I believe that I have to pull you from school with everything going on, especially with the trail coming up. I know that you're both not focused and Santana, I am not happy at all about the harassment that you're receiving-"

"Mom, it's not..." Santana trailed off.

"It is, San," she said. "I've decided that Quinn, I'm pulling you from school and Santana, I am torn whether or not to pull you as well. "

The brunette straightened and put her hand up to try to halt her mother's words. "What?" She looked at Quinn who was just staring at their mother. "What!?"

Quinn felt like she didn't feel anything. She didn't have anything to say about this. She wasn't attached to school. She didn't even like it here. She had nothing holding her here except Santana. She wanted to make sure her sister was okay, but that was it. However, it was a big 'it.' Finn's words echoed in her head.

"You kinda do," he muttered. "I know I wasn't supportive... I know I ..." His brow became angry. "You're not innocent here. You lied to me!"

She couldn't be here. She had been down this path before and had known this feeling before. She didn't need school in the least. She didn't want to be here. She was barely holding on to the home that she needed. She didn't want to ruin it anymore. She didn't want to fight anymore. She was just too tired. She looked up and realized that Santana was staring at her and her mouth was moving. She was talking to her.

"What?" she asked.

"Are you listening?" Santana asked. "Is this what you want?"

Quinn shrugged. "I know that it's not something that I don't want. I hate school San... and I didn't realize it... I don't... I don't want …." She looked at Santana as if it were just the two of them. "I don't want to leave you here alone."

Santana looked at her, her own wall of instinctive anger melting slightly.

"I don't want you to stay someplace you don't want to be," she said quietly to her sister.

"Do you want to stay here, Santana? You can think about it if you wish," Shelby offered.

Santana looked at her. The thought of being excluded from home made her jealous, but she didn't know if she could miss school. She missed Brittany. This was where she saw Brittany. At that moment, with the possibility of losing it, she realized that she wasn't ready to give it up.

"I want... I want to stay I think," she muttered.

"San, I am going to let you decide if you want to continue to go to school or if you want to be homeschooled for a while like your sisters," Shelby said coming toward her. She took her daughter's hands as her eldest daughter continued to avoid her eyes as if they might turn her to stone... or maybe because she was afraid to cry. She began quietly as Quinn stepped away from them closer to the door, trying to give them privacy. "I know that it has been tough on you. I can't even imagine how tough it has been but I am so proud of you for being so brave," she said quietly. She lifted the girl's chin so that their eyes met. "I just wish you would see how brave you are. I guarantee you Santana there are at least ten kids in your very grade right now that are questioning their sexuality just like you,San-"

"Mom, I don't want to talk about this," she said trying to pull away.

Shelby went on softly, "I know, but I want you to know that those kids have not been able to say it or display it. What you and Brittany have is very special and unfortunately you are not able to enjoy it because of uneducated mean spirited people and I am so sorry for that. It is your choice whether you want to continue going to school right now or take a break and be homeschooled. However, I need to know that you are safe at school too so if anything happens to change that I will make the decision. If someone says something and you feel like fighting or you need to leave, you will have your cell phone to call me and you will also be allowed to go to coach's office and cool down in there. But, if I find out you are skipping any classes or you leave school or you fight, you will be staying home with your sisters. Do you understand?"

"Yeah," Santana said with a slight nod.

Shelby leaned forward and pulled Santana into a tight hug. The girl felt stiff and unsure of the embrace for a few moments before she gave in and hugged her back with a light embrace. "I want you to only have to worry about yourself right now," she whispered into her daughter's hair as she palmed the back of her daughter's head. She kissed her lightly on the top of her head. "Later today we will also be discussing what happened at the diner and your behavior there, it was not acceptable and you know that." She looked over at Quinn. "The two of you need an explanation for the cigarettes that your aunt found in the bushes. Better get your stories straight before we all chat tonight. I'm interested to see what you have to say. I won't be forgetting about those. " She smiled at the girls' unexcited faces before turning back to Santana. "I love you."

She gave a tiny nod in her mother's embrace. Suddenly, realizing that her mother had always given her choices and that it was life that was so brutal and absent of any personal choosing. She had always thought that it was her mother that had limited her and forced her into the life that she now lived. She was rarely outwardly bitter toward her mother about that, but in this moment she was reminded of how hard her mother tried. She rethought and realized she wasn't seeing it for the first time as much as she was finally understanding it.

"I love you too," she muttered, hugging Shelby tighter.

Santana pulled away suddenly realizing that she wasn't alone. Shelby looked at Quinn and held her arm to her. "You ready?"

Quinn nodded and walked with Shelby and Santana down the hallway. When they arrived at the appex of the hallway Santana paused and waved subtly. "See ya," she whispered.

Quinn felt numb as she walked out to the car. She climbed into the passenger seat and buckled in silence. She looked back at the school. She didn't miss it; she didn't care. However, she still felt like she should.

"What about Cheerios?" she asked abruptly.

"I talked with Sue about you leaving," she began quietly.

"San should be bumped up to head cheerio. She deserves it. She's practically already it," she trailed off as she got lost in her thoughts.

Quinn was so much in her head that she wasn't really listening to what was being said or even that anything was being said at all. She suddenly felt a hand on her leg. She looked up and Shelby was staring at her.

"What?" she asked, embarrassed.

"I need you to focus, Quinn," she said turning to her leaving the car off. Her keys dangled in the ignition and Quinn suddenly felt that their swinging motion was mesmerizing. "Quinn," she said again. "I'm sorry I didn't give you a choice with school, but seeing you like this... You're not focusing with me... how can you focus in class? I'm worried about you-"

"You're not worried about Santana and Noah?" she asked with a frown.

"I am," she said simply. "But I'm worried about your recent actions. Skipping class... The tattoo..."

Quinn felt a lump jump in her throat. "I... I ….. I didn't mean for you to find out about it."

Shelby looked at her quizzically. "Well, I did, Quinn." She looked at the area that Quinn had the tattoo. "Quinn, why … why did you do this?... Really do it?"

The blonde looked at her with tear filled eyes. "I don't... I don't know how long I will be here for but... I …. this... this is home to me... and I wanted to remember this year..."

Shelby frowned and sighed. "That's what I thought," she muttered as she pulled her into a hug across the center console. "Quinn, I know you are hurting and things have changed drastically over the last couple of months for you and I can appreciate all the effort and all that you have given to us and most importantly yourself. However, as your mother I will not let you continue down this destructive path that you have been going. I would never let your sisters or your brother get a tattoo either. And it's not just about expressing yourself and the fact that it's your body and your choice." She paused and searched her eyes. "It's about the fact that it is dangerous for you. You don't have a spleen. You're fighting infections right now and also, I know that you think that right now, at sixteen, things seem permanently stuck in a rut, but they're not going to stay like this forever. They most certainly aren't."

Quinn looked down at her hands. She didn't want to have a talk. She wanted to disappear.

Shelby went on. "I understand you need your space but at the same time you have proven over the last couple of weeks that you are not making good choices when you go off on your own so I am not going to allow you to have that space for a while." She looked at her honestly and traced her daughter's knuckles gently. "When you feel you need some space you can ask me or Joey or Nana or Bear or Pop-Pop to go with you on a walk or sit in a room with you and I promise we won't talk and we will leave you alone while you take your time but I can't let you go off on your own for the foreseeable future. I know that you might think that this is harsh but I love you too much to change my mind about it."

She sighed, searching for a reaction from Quinn. Searching for anything.

She received nothing so she decided to go on. "I've decided that until at least January you will be home schooled with Rachel. You are a straight A student and I want to keep it that way. There are too many distractions for you at school. You seem to like to take off and leave it whenever you feel like it anyway, and you know that that is not okay and that it's unacceptable behavior but for some reason you keep doing it. I have contacted all of your teachers and I will be informing Ms. Holly that you will be with her full time. She is very aware of your course load. You will not fall behind any of your classmates. After speaking with Figgins, this will not reflect negatively in your school files at all. The coursework will be passed in with the other students and you will continue to receive any and all credits you would have earned if you remained in school." The girl was still staring at her hands. She continued more gently. "I need to know you are safe and being home is where I know you are the safest."

She sighed when Quinn continued to be unresponsive. "As for the tattoo," she began. Quinn looked up and Shelby was grateful for a reaction. "Our focus will be to keep it clean and healthy. You will be putting cream on that morning and night for the next week or so. You will be taking the antibiotic twice a day and I am making an appointment for you to have a complete physical with Dr. Fernandez."

Quinn frowned. "Why?"

"You need to stay healthy, Quinn. I think we need to really talk about putting you on birth control and-"

"I'm not having sex any time soon," she said quickly. "I don't need it."

Shelby searched her eyes. "Maybe, but when was the last time you had a regular period?"

Quinn thought for a moment. Since she had her first period they were never regular, she realized. Sometimes she would ache so much she had to double check to make sure what side her appendix was on. Other times, they would last for weeks; sometimes they would last a day.

Quinn shrugged. "I'm not going to have sex. I promise," she said, feeling another swell in her chest.

"Q-bear," Shelby whispered. She pulled her into her arms. She knew she couldn't tell her daughter that she knew the statistics about the higher frequency of promiscuity that many victims of sexual abuse practiced. But most importantly she knew her daughters. She knew what Santana had done and she didn't want that for Quinn. She wanted her girls to be safe. She couldn't tell her daughter that she didn't want her to become her sister; she didn't want her daughter to become a statistic. "Quinn, I want you to live a remarkable life and make safe mistakes, but that requires so much from you too. Do you understand what I'm saying?"

Quinn looked at her honestly. "Why do you do this?" she asked slightly hurt and slightly exhausted.

"Do what?" the mother asked.

"Concentrate so much on my future when I can barely breathe through the present?" Quinn asked honestly. Shelby leaned back, surprised and struck by her honesty. "I can't think about the sex that I'll have because I don't know how I'll have it without thinking... of what I've already done."

"Quinn," she said quietly. "I think about your future. I think about your sisters' and your brother's future, simply because you have one. It's a plain and true fact that I think in your full heads and overflowing and unselfish hearts, the four of you forget."

"We forget?" she asked.

Shelby smiled and hugged her. "Yeah, you get stuck in a moment and you forget that there is a tomorrow."

"Do you do that?" she asked looking at her mother.

Shelby looked at her with a vulnerable gaze. "Yes," she said quietly. "I do."

"About what?" Quinn asked.

The mother treaded carefully. "I sometimes think I don't do right by you guys," she said quietly. "That my ex-husband could have done better."

Quinn smiled without hesitation. "That's impossible. You have the patience of a saint... even though you pretended that you didn't go to try to drink away your stress last night," the young girl said. Shelby looked at her mortified. The blonde smiled slightly and shrugged. "It's okay. You even did that with a strange grace." She let the smile fade slightly. "I am sorry about the tattoo, but at the same time I'm not. I'm not," she ended with more fortitude in her voice. "I know it was bad but... I needed this..."

Shelby gave a heavy sigh. "I think I understand that. However you need to understand where I'm coming from. So part of of your punishment for leaving school, again, lying, forging my signature for the tattoo," Shelby paused at Quinn's surprised face at the mention of the last thing. She nodded her head. "Yeah, I know about that," she said pausing again for effect before continuing, "your punishment for all of the aforementioned is to write me two 5000 word papers on the following: The spleen and what it does for your body and what can happen when you lose it and two: the history of tattoos. And since you've gotten so good at lying lately - you can do the presentation that you told Joey you were working on the other day when you went to your friend's house and present it to me, Joey, Holly, Rachel and Nana."

Quinn let a glare settle on her face. "Seriously?"

"I haven't been known to kid," she smiled. "Yes, seriously." She looked at Quinn and cupped her face. "But no matter what, I love you. I even spoke with Jackie this morning over the phone. She's already forwarded your case over to the adoption unit. We're going to get this official."

The blonde looked at her hands and felt a question practically falling out of her mouth.

"Yes?" Shelby asked.

"Will... um..." she paused.

"What is it?" Shelby asked

Quinn looked at her hands and then traced her cuticles on her hands. "So... will..." she trailed off for a moment before taking a deep breath and looking at Shelby. She took another deep breath. "Will I be Quinn Corcoran?"

Shelby gave a smile. "If you'd like to be," she said with a smile.

Quinn paused for a moment. "Isn't that their dad's name? So shouldn't I be... a Berry? Shouldn't you be a Berry? You're maiden name?"

Shelby smiled. "You're certainly a Corcoran and you'll always be one to me. Name or not, it's your choice though."

The blonde leaned into her slightly. "I'm sorry," she said quietly, flipping to a different topic in her head instantly.

"For what?" the mother asked.

"For what I said to Rachel," she said quietly.

Shelby shook her head with a sigh thinking of her youngest daughter. "Don't be sorry. She needed to hear it and that's what she admires more about you: That you're honest with her. Sometimes things are hard to hear and I'm so proud of you for taking that leap and being honest with her, even though you didn't have to." She searched Quinn's eyes. "You really didn't have to."

The blonde frowned. "Who else would explain it to her?" she muttered. "It was my job... It's my story."

The mother looked at her with a new respect. "It is your story, but it's not your job. We could have done it together. We can talk to her together about it. I think she is in her head like you are right now and she's very confused about a lot of things. If you would like to clarify some things we can do it together..."

Quinn paused. "I don't know," she whispered. "I'll say the wrong thing."

"You won't," she said with a gentle gaze. "You'll know what to say and no matter how you say it, she'll still love you."

….

Rachel looked out the window, wondering where her mother had gone. Things had ended so abruptly that morning with her sisters. She wasn't mad at them as much as she was angry at herself and the world that continued to throw more baffling questions in her face. She looked down at her work. She looked at the book list that was available for her. One of the books was Diary of Anne Frank. Her nana thought she was too young to read it but she understood it. She wasn't ready to write her story. She wasn't even ready to tell it. She wanted to read about someone else with a story that sounded more atrocious than hers. Holly allowed her to do a report on it but the questions and the format of the report was more narrow than Rachel had expected. It's didn't gloss over the hard questions, but in some ways it did. She frowned. If she wrote a book and was betrayed by a family friend and brought to a concentration camp, would anyone read her story? She frowned more deeply. Could she do a project about the concentration camps? The terror of the tragedy fascinated her.

"Rachel?"

She looked up and Holly was looking at her with a frown. Sugar was staring back at her from the table, her work still in progress.

"What?" she asked quietly.

"We were talking about the field trip, would you like to participate?" Holly asked.

"Sorry," she mumbled. "What was the question?"

"What was your favorite?" Holly asked.

"I didn't have one," she muttered as she remembered how her sisters left her for school with a silent hug and kiss goodbye. No one could talk. No one could say anything to her. She didn't want to be in her kitchen. She didn't want to be learning. She didn't want anyone to talk to her. She just wanted to crawl into a small space with George and disappear.

"Rachel, I think you had at least one that you liked more than the others," the teacher offered.

"No," she said quietly. "I didn't."

"Rachel, don't be rude," Nana called

Rachel continued to look ahead. She looked at the pile of plates that her grandmother was drying and stacking at the end of the counter. She didn't want to be here. It was as if she couldn't concentrate on all that was going on in reality because everything that was screaming in her head was too loud.

"I don't care," she mumbled. She stood up from her seat, not noticing the car pull into the driveway.

"Rachel, we're not finished," Holly called, but the girl acted like she didn't hear her.

The tiny girl stood and ran her arm along the island's counter top. She didn't want to learn. She didn't want to know anymore. She always thought she wanted to know. She thought she wanted to feel and understand but she didn't. That's why she had walked away from her sister's this morning. She couldn't listen to the silence and watch the echos of confusion and heartache on their faces at her curiosity. She was a child, like Sugar had said. She was behind and everyone was blocks in front of her. She was always trying to catch up with them, but she was tired. She didn't want to anymore. Not in the least.

"Rachel, sit down," Nana called. Rachel ran her arm along the counter. "Sit down, Rachel." she repeated again.

"What's wrong with her?" Sugar asked, but Rachel couldn't hear her.

The girl continued to walk forward and ran her arm along the counter's edge; it collided with the stack of plates and the eight ceramic plates crashed to the ground with a thunder and a bang. And for the first time in her life, Rachel didn't flinch at the sound. She simply kept walking and climbed up the backstairs. She was so tired of all of it.

"Rachel!" Nana screamed at the mess.

"Rachel, come back right now," Holly called.

The girl continued to climb the stairs. She wasn't going to chase after anyone anymore. She was tired of searching for the answers. She was tired of being left behind. She wasn't going to try anymore. People would have to come after her because now it was her turn to have people be behind her. She was walking away.

Shelby walked into the kitchen to find her mother and Holly calling after Rachel.

"What is going on?" she asked as Quinn followed her into the kitchen.

The two of them settle their gaze on the pile of broken ceramic plates that littered the tiled floor.

"Holly, could you begin to go over the plan with Quinn? You should all move into the dining room. I'll be right back," she said looking at the broken plates, she expected to find a panicking daughter upstairs. She knew how much Rachel hated loud noises, the breaking of the plates must have been what sent Rachel fleeing from the room, she assumed. "Rach and I will probably be doing the neb for a bit." Shelby felt someone grab her arm, stopping her from exiting the room.

"I didn't drop them," Helen said holding her daughter's gaze. "Rachel wasn't listening to us. She was barely responding and then she just pushed them off of the counter and walked away." Shelby looked at her with surprise. "She didn't flinch. She didn't say a word. She just walked away."

"What?" Quinn asked looking at all of the plates.

"Yes, it was weird," Sugar said. "It was like she was a crazy from a horror movie."

"Don't call my sister crazy," Quinn hissed looking at the younger girl.

Shelby nodded at Quinn to follow Holly to the dining room and she climbed the stairs to find her now unflinching daughter.

"Rach?" she called.

The hallway was empty.

"Rachel?" she called again.

Santana's room was empty. Quinn's room was empty. Noah's room was Rachel-less. Shelby settled into her room and was ready to leave when she heard a rustle from the closet. She went into the closet, begging that Rachel hadn't picked the lock to the attic. She opened the door and in the corner of the master closet was a box that she had flattened that had now been refolded. She perched next to the cardboard and knocked softly on the box.

"Rachel?" she said quietly. "Can you come out of the box?"

There was no answer.

Shelby let herself slide to a sitting position and lean against the wall. "Okay, bug. I'll be here when you're ready to come out."

The mother looked at her watch. She had five hours before she had to pick up the other kids. Hopefully, Rachel didn't have the willpower of her sisters and would wait this out for over five hours, but either way she would wait.

….

Please let me know what you think. Get ready... Holidays are coming.