Disclaimer – I do not own BMT world, it belongs to Trudi Canavan

The Morning After

Akkarin had slipped away just before first light, leaving Sonea warm and drowsy. She had drifted off to sleep again, only to jerk awake a couple of hours later. She hurriedly washed and dressed and went to get breakfast. The Food Hall was only sparsely occupied by the time she arrived and she was able to find a corner on her own, so she could think and eat.

It was always the same, she decided on a course of action, was determined to put it into operation, then Akkarin changed her mind one way or another. It was so frustrating to find herself so easily manipulated, for manipulation it was, no matter how uncomfortable the thought. This last time, it had been through robust lovemaking that she'd been turned from her purpose to argue her case for accompanying Akkarin. He had allowed no initial discussion and by the time he had decided it was time for talk, she had been successfully diverted into another frame of mind.

As always, following events such as last night's, she was wracked by doubts. Did he truly love her or was she simply a convenient lover, who was also a useful black magician? It was true what she had said last night, he knew her so well whereas she was uncertain of his intent or his feelings for her. Just when she thought everything was straight in her mind, along he came and did something which threw everything back into uncertainty. She sighed. It was difficult for her to accept that she was so often manoeuvred into doing exactly what Akkarin wanted. But not always, her mind whispered comfortingly. There have been times when you have done exactly the opposite!

She smiled, that was certainly true. There had been many times when she had defied him and she was planning to do so again. She needed to find a way of either joining the group heading for Corres Fort, or following closely behind. At this moment, she didn't really care which method she used, just as long as she went too. It would require some careful use of magic so that her presence was not detectable. Luckily, she had recently studied some techniques, which might come in handy, and she could always check out some other useful spells in the Library's reference books. Luckily, Freeday was three days away, so she had some time.

The Food Hall servants were hovering, waiting to clear out the last few magicians so they could clean the place and get ready for the mid-day meal. As she would be travelling on Freeday, she decided to visit Justen today instead. She felt a prick of conscience as she thought about her son. He had rather taken second place to what was going on in the Guild. She couldn't fool herself though, for she had known how it would be once her decision to return with Akkarin had been made. She had had to make a choice, and that choice had been to devote most of her time to Akkarin and his task. Some would find it difficult to think a mother could put her child second, behind her lover, but she couldn't have lived with any other course of action, no matter how bad the decision made her feel at times. Justen had Takan after all, who loved and protected him, so it wasn't as if he had been left with strangers or simply abandoned. She managed to see him at least once a week, and she knew that Akkarin also frequently visited the boy, but still her conscience poked and prodded her. You are a bad mother, her mind said sternly and wouldn't be silenced. You neglect your son!

She decided to go some way towards soothing her inconvenient conscience by looking in the market to see if there was something she could buy Justen. She left the Guild through the main gates and the Warriors on duty made no attempt to stop her or query her leaving. They never did, contributing to her certainty that she was insignificant as far as the Guild authorities were concerned. Well, we'll see about that! She carried a pack containing a large blue cloak which she could use to disguise her robes, once she was near to where Justen lived. It would not do for a robed magician to be seen regularly visiting the house. It could draw unwelcome attention.

In the market, she found a stall selling sets of wooden soldiers and bought some for Justen. Just for fun, she found a few figures of Warriors and added them to the soldiers. Justen has magic and one day he may become a Warrior like his father, she thought, pushing aside the difficulties of getting a boy who could not speak accepted into the Guild. It's time he began to prepare.

She automatically made sure she wasn't followed, hugging the cloak around her so that every bit of her robes was covered. She made her way round to the back of the house, knowing she would find Takan somewhere near the kitchen. Sure enough, she discovered him bending over a cooking pot from which a very tempting aroma rose, causing her mouth to water suddenly. There was nothing like Takan's cooking, so far above the standard fare from the Food Hall.

She exchanged pleasantries with Takan who revealed that Akkarin had visited the previous day. She pretended to know all about it because she didn't want to have to explain Akkarin's failure to let her know what he was doing. Not even Takan would understand.

Syma, Syma?

The unexpected mental voice calling her alias caused her to start. It wasn't the subtle whisper that Akkarin now used, nor was it a voice she recognised, besides, who apart from Akkarin would use her other name?

"What is it my lady?" Takan asked anxiously, worried by her sudden pallor.

"Nothing…..don't be alarmed. Where is Justen?"

"He's in his room."

She rushed out of the kitchen and through the corridors until she reached the main hall. She could still hear her name being called and responded, Who are you?

Where are you?

She was rewarded by a soft mental giggle and she knew it was Justen. She flew up the stairs and into his room. He was sitting on the floor, surrounded with books, looking up at her, an extremely pleased expression on his face.

Justen, how long have you been able to speak like this?

A long time but no one answers!

She picked him up, hugging him closely to her. At last her son could speak. He never needed to be silent again! How had he worked out what to do? She remembered her own difficulties when she first used mental communication, and she'd had Guild teachers to show her what to do, yet Justen, still only a small boy, had somehow worked it out for himself.

Have you spoken to your father?

Verrin doesn't hear me.

Sonea was puzzled. Normally magicians could hear mental communication unless it was sent along a very tight band, rather like the way she and Akkarin used it. Balkan and Osen in the King's apartments were another example of making it difficult for other magicians to hear, but Akkarin should have been able to hear his son, especially if the boy had been in the same house at the time.

Did you try yesterday? she asked.

Yes but Verrin didn't hear.

The more she thought about it, the more puzzled she became. She would have liked to talk to someone about it, but that was impossible. No one knew of the existence of the child outside of a very few people and she wanted to keep it that way. Lorlen was a possibility, but she could imagine what Akkarin's reactions to that would be.

Everything about Justen had been strange, from the moment he was born. She could only think that the magical battle she had engaged in with the Ichani had played a part in making him so different. Perhaps I shall be the only person who can hear him; something to do with being his mother and carrying him at the time of the battle, perhaps?

She spent some time finding out exactly how well Justen could communicate, making it a game where she hid in various parts of the house or garden, sending clues until Justen found her. It didn't take him long. Considering he had had no training apart from the few mental exercises she had taught him, his use and control of his magic was exceptional despite being so young. Somehow, they would have to have him tested soon to find out how strong he was in reality.

They sat down to a tasty mid-day meal, Justen all the while chattering excitedly to her. All the years of frustration he must have felt in not being able to make himself understand were wiped away as he and his mother talked together for the first time.

Will you tell Verrin? If he knows you can hear me, then he'll be able to see why and do it too!

Sonea thought a moment before replying. She didn't want to say his father was going away for an undetermined period and of course she couldn't say anything about her own plans in case Akkarin saw the boy again before he left, so she fell back on to the words her aunt had used to her so often in her own childhood.

We'll see. Verrin is very busy at the moment.

Although Justen's excitement dimmed a little, he didn't brood on the matter. He was used to his parents not being with him and seemed to accept it. The rest of her time with Justen passed quickly. When it came to saying goodbye, she hesitated for a moment. How much should she tell him?

Verrin and I will be busy for a few days, she started, so we may not be able to see you for a while. While we're away, you need to keep practising your little exercises. You know Takan can't hear you, don't you?

Justen nodded.

But there are other people who might be able to hear you however it's very important they don't find you. While Verrin and I are not here, you must not speak. Do you understand?

Why not Syma?

She paused, unsure of how much to tell him. He was only a small boy and his understanding of the world was very limited. He'd lived an isolated life in the mountains, and his time in Imardin had been sheltered, so there was a limit to what he could understand.

Verrin and I have told you we have work to do in Imardin. Well, there are some people who would like to stop us. If they find out about you, they may try to use you in some way against us. We would prefer it if they never found you. Keeping quiet will help in keeping you hidden.

She had taken hold of Justen during this speech, looking directly into his eyes in an effort to stress just how important it was not to attract unwelcome attention. Justen stared back at her but she couldn't tell whether or not he really knew what she meant.

I mean it, Justen. You mustn't call out. Promise me you won't.

Justen nodded again, and this time he smiled, flinging his arms around her neck and giving her a big hug.

I promise!

Good. Now I have a little present for you.

She gave him the pack of soldiers and Warriors and helped him set them up on the floor. Soon he was lost in his own world, moving the wooden figures around the floor, making mock battles and skirmishes. She left him playing happily, and was unsure if he even knew when she left.

On her walk back to the Guild, she thought about how much to tell Akkarin. He needed to know, but did he need to know now? He was going away, so there was nothing he could do in the immediate future. Perhaps she would tell him after the Corres Fort adventure, when they could both see Justen together and try to work out why she could hear him and Akkarin could not. Yes. That was the right course of action.

Now, all she had to do was to decide how she was going to join the magicians going to the fort without being caught by Akkarin!