Slea - thank you so much I am glad you enjoyed the chapter - I hope you like this one. Thanks for the review.
Guest – Thank you I like writing Sugar, she brings a little humor into the story which is needed for these kids. Thanks for the review.
Gracksies – Ok Shelby would be furious with you if you were reading this and not studying so you need to focus on school and then read this in your spare time. Don't get me wring I love that you are reading it but I don't want anyone to fail school over it. I am a perfectionist and that's why sometimes it takes me so long to get the chapters out. Thanks for the review.
Faberritanalover21 – 5 days to read the whole story? Wow – Thank you so much! I am so glad you like this story I realize it is a tough read for most people so I am glad that you like it. Thanks for the review.
Cookie07 - Shelby most likely knew and wanted San to say it for herself. Santana is very sensitive but has such strong outer walls that it takes a lot for her to show them and she is slowly letting them down for Britt. Some of the Corcoran traditions are coming out in this chapter and while Quinn feels a part of this family in some ways she is going to see how far she has to go to really feel comfortable. Thanks for the review.
Scout88 –Shelby is grateful for all of the help that her parents are giving. She's not being ungrateful, but a tiny part of her is annoyed a single parent that she in essence isn't a single parent. It's a tough transition, but she certainly knows what her family is sacrificing. In my experience, when family comes to "help" you're so grateful for what they do, but you are also distracted by their constant presence. Santana is not one to follow her own advice. She never is being hypocritical isn't beyond her character. I am proud of Noah too. He is an amazing player. Rachel making brash decisions will continue in this chapter. She has a blind passion. Quinn definitely doesn't want to talk about sex. Thank you again for your wonderfully long reviews. thank you!
Iuterpi – The trial will not be a pleasant affair and will take a toll on some of the Corcorans but they will rally and pull each other through. Thanks for reviewing.
Guest Thank you so much
Durant's Cry – I am glad you caught up with this story. I plan to continue this story along with doing a sequel – I have to admit it has been a little rough lately because real life has gotten in the way. But trust me I will be continuing and finishing this story as long as there is interest in this story. Thank you for reviewing.
leadmyfollow – I am glad – thanks for reviewing.
dolphinluver46 – Thank you so much. I am not sure if Noah will play football in college but now he is finally looking at the options.
NinjaGleek21 – Thank you for the cookie. It will be a slow process for Rachel because the trial is going to be tough for her. Thanks for the review.
UnicornsAndRainbows20089 – My beta said the very same thing – but I could never end it there. There is so much more I want to write but I also don't want to drag it on – I want to show growth with each of the characters – it is a challenge but I love each of these characters so much. Rachel gets out of the house in this chapter but it may not be for the best – haha – Noah has to make that big decision on whether he will go far away or stay close to the girls. Thanks for the review.
JWilson18 – Thank you so much for your review. I try to make each chapter filled with enough detail for everyone. I am glad that you are seeing that each character is growing that is one of the things that I strive for. I thank you for being patient with my updating – due to the length that I like to have for my chapters it does take me a little more time than the usual writers.
Dave – I am sorry you feel that way about the story. I try my hardest to show progress in each of the chapters with each of the characters. It is a hard juggling act to make sure I keep the story moving and not moving it too fast and unrealistically. I apologize for taking so long in updating as well. I will tell you that my betas and I work on this story every single day to make sure we get it right and where we want it to be. Unfortunately we all work full time jobs and also one is in a different time zone so our scheduling are not always clicking but we want to get the next chapter out as soon as possible but I also do not want to post junk or a filler chapter. I am working on developing Rachel more and the story very much involves her. I thank you for your review and I hope you like this chapter.
Ryoko05 – Thank you I wish I could have all the chapters wrap up so nicely.
Guest – you find out a little more about Quinn's period this chapter. Thanks for the review.
broadwaybound2016 – Thank you so much! I hope you like this chapter.
Gleeks09 – Thank you so much. Noah needs to move on so Rachel can move on – it is so true. They all need to help each other move on. Shelby and Quinn have a very special bond and relationship and it will only grow as Quinn grows. Thank you so much for your review it means the world to me.
littleredwritinggleek - I am so happy that you enjoyed this chapter. Each one of the kids is growing in their own way at their own pace. All of them have so much further to go but they will get there. Thank you so much for your review.
thelastcenturian - thank you, friend. lol i think you're too generous with this review of "perfection as always." lol perfection is an awfully high bar. thank you for the vote of confidence!
Kimberlli- I'm very proud of Noah too! Rachel's impulsive behavior worries all of
them. I hope you like the Thanksgiving chapter. Thanks for the review.
OTHangels – Thank you for the review I am trying to get a little more of Britt and San in every chapter.
Renata – I am so happy you loved this chapter. I was a little concerned that it didn't move along fast enough. Quinn and Shelby are special and I am glad you like it. I can't give out any spoilers yet on the sequel except that they are all alive and doing pretty well. Or at least some of them are – you just have to wait – sorry. Thank you so much for always reviewing I look forward to them so much.
lovecanbesostrange – I am glad you liked the ending. There is so much going on and to have them all together in a natural and non dramatic setting – it is needed. Britt and San have not had time to work on their relationship but even if it is not in this story – they will still be together in the next – but as young adults and teens often do – they will have their ups and downs – it's a relationship and it always needs work. Noah is finally realizing that there is a future for him and his family and that is a good thing. It will still take work but there is one. Thanks for reviewing.
marinka4 - yes I have been writing and you have been graciously reading and reviewing my story for a year! The Corcorans and I include Quinn in this are as strong as siblings can be. Thanks for all your support over the year.
TommyH – Thank you – its Faberry without the romance though.
Sorry for the delay everyone. Here is a short chapter.
Chapter 57
….
Quinn ran her tongue over her teeth and bit her lip. They had two carts full of food. She knew that Thanksgiving was a holiday of gluttony but this seemed a little extreme. However, nothing seemed more gluttonous than Costco. She couldn't help by glare at everyone. There was a child on a leash to her left and a grocery cart with enough child seats in the cart for four children and the family pushing the cart still needed more seats. Costco was a store for over indulgence; its customers would be over consumers in their lives as well as their shopping habits.
"Do we really need all of this?" Santana whined.
"You know we do, San," Shelby said with a sigh as she encouraged Santana to stop throwing super-sized boxes of cereal in the cart.
The girls had to come shopping with her because they were grounded. They couldn't stay home with Noah and Rachel. However, while the girls felt like they were being punished, Shelby couldn't help but feel like she was being punished too. Costco was a science and approaching it during the holiday season required a certain level of strategy and motivation. Shelby turned and looked over her list. They had barely started. She squeezed her eyes shut. She couldn't send the girls to go out and retrieve items. They had to do this all together. She hated following her own rules. She sent a quick text to Joey to stop by and check on Noah and Rachel after work because they would be a while. She put her phone in her back pocket and frowned.
Quinn was sifting through the clothes in the middle of the warehouse as if it was infested with bugs and Santana was practically pushing a pregnant woman in the line for samples.
"Quinn, Santana! Come over here please," Shelby called.
Quinn dropped the clothes as if it were giving her a disease and Santana sighed.
"Ma! These mini quiches have 2 more minutes," she yelled out. Santana motioned to the line as if she needed to have a mini quiche to save her life.
"Santana," Shelby said quietly, still not raising her voice as she arched her brow.
Santana shook her head and let her arms fall limp at her side in frustration. Shelby looked at her again and glared. The teenager rolled her eyes and glared at the pregnant lady in response.
"Santana, I'm not asking you again," Shelby called out.
The teenager finally dragged her feet toward her. Quinn drowned out Santana's lecture about the importance of mini quiches. She looked around and watched as the store was busy with an urgent holiday bustle. She couldn't be in here. She felt the roughness of her cast. She watched a man toss three packages of five tubes of toothpaste each into the basket. Why would anyone need that much toothpaste? She let her gaze wander over to another aisle where a woman was shoving toilet paper packages into her cart. There was no more room in her cart so her child had to carry it but it was too big so the child was dragging it.
"Quinn. Quinn," Shelby called.
The blonde jumped slightly and looked at her. "Sorry," she muttered. "I've never been here...It's kinda barbaric... and incredible capitalistic."
"Welcome to America!" Santana laughed as she took a five pound bag of pistachios and a Ghirardelli chocolate assortment.
"There are 100 pieces of chocolate in that," Quinn said. She turned to Shelby. "Are we having one hundred people over?"
"We don't need one hundred people to eat one hundred pieces of chocolate. Noah and I can easily split the bag," Santana said, considering for a second and grabbing another bag and throwing it into the cart.
"Put it back," the mother instructed. "We don't need pistachios or chocolate."
"Mom, we need this," she said with a scowl as if her mother were passing up a necessary commodity like toilet paper.
"Put it back," she said again. "We are only getting what is on this list or in this coupon book." Shelby stated holding up the book.
Santana frowned. "I don't understand, Mom. We need this," she said. Quinn was pretty sure it sounded like a whine.
"No, Santana," Shelby said. "Also, No throwing anything into the cart. Remember what happened when Noah threw that bag of peas. We don't want a repeat performance do we?"
Santana scowled and started to take things out of the cart with great indignation.
"Alright, Quinn, look at the list and help me figure out what we need," the mother stated. Quinn caught her eye and could see that the woman was trying to keep her focused on what was going on instead of her thoughts in her head.
Quinn read off the first item on the list and Santana and Shelby had another conversation about how a bulk package of pudding cups wasn't needed. Quinn didn't have a problem with people in public... not sense. She let the crowd hide her from the world. She frowned. Did that even make sense? She shook her head. She gets lost in the crowd, she corrected herself. She rose above it when necessary, but only to blend in... She sighed hating that she focused so much on her internal monologue.
The cart suddenly bounced and startled her back into reality. She frowned and looked at the gigantic bird in the basket, wrapped in plastic. Her knowledge of holiday preparation was centered preliminary around cheezy, unrealistic specials. However, she was pretty sure that birds weren't supposed to look like that. She attempted to push the cart and was met with too much resistance again.
"Santana, I have one hand," she sneered at her sister.
"Santana, what did I say about throwing things into the cart?" Shelby said with a irritation.
"It's frozen," Santana offered. "Why does it matter if I throw it in the cart. It's not like I can hurt it. We're just going to put it in a bucket outside on the porch anyway."
"What? Why?" Quinn asked in disgust.
"Because it's frozen," Santana said.
"Enough," Shelby said putting her hands up. She held up the list and the coupon book. "We are completing this. It's happening. No samples. NO throwing things in the cart. We're getting this done."
Quinn and Santana exchanged a look of confused awe.
"One sample?" Santana asked.
"When we're finished," Shelby said. "Quinn, we'll push this cart together."
They continued down the aisle in silence. Neither girl wanting to interrupt the beast. Quinn pushed the cart as if it were her ball and chain. There was something about shopping at Costco that sucked a bit of her soul out. She couldn't even squeeze the bar with her casted hand. She hated this damn cast. She wasn't even sure what caused it to get so dirty, but it was. She liked things neat and tidy and an old cast wasn't that at all.
"Quinn? Quinn Fabray?"
The blonde looked up and frowned wishing suddenly that her cast was magical and could transport her to a world far, far away from here.
"Quinn, dear," the woman clad in a Burberry Coat and a matching scarf pulled her into a hug. "How are you doing, dear?" she asked. She nodded her head, each word echoed greater sympathy as demonstrated through the greater etching into her brow.
Quinn didn't even think she would ever see this person at Costco. Ever.
"Evelyn Greer," the woman said extending her hand to Shelby. "Quinnie and I go way back. Her mother and I played bridge at the club." The woman put her other hand out up to her face as if to whisper to Shelby, but nothing was concealed at all. "Clearly, we don't play bridge anymore. Of course, I , as the chair of Club Counsel, chose to have the Fabray's dishonorably discharged from the club long before that woman's demise."
Santana looked at Quinn. "Is the club the army?"
"Basically," Quinn shrugged.
Shelby took her hand and shook it with a fake grin politely plastered onto her face. "It's a pleasure. I'm Shel-"
"Shelby Corcoran," the woman interrupted. "I'm well-aware of who you are." She shook her head in appreciation. "We're so grateful for all that you do. Taking in Quinn and -"
"Quinn is just as much my daughter as my others," Shelby interjected again. "I'm very lucky to have her."
"Who wouldn't be?" Evelyn Greer stated. "She has always been a kind and caring girl." She looked at Quinn with a shake of her head. "It's a tragedy what all those people put you through."
Quinn felt Santana harden next to her. The cannon was loaded and was going to explode. Quinn put her casted arm out. "Don't," she hissed
"It's all for the best, now isn't it, Quinnie," Evelyn continued. "You're practically normal now. Will we see you leading the Cheerios to another victory?"
"I'm no longer a Cheerio, Mrs. Greer," Quinn said kindly. "I'm trying to focus on other things right now."
"Of course! Of course!" Mrs. Greer said with another nod radiating with attempted empathy and a pinch of her brow. "You will always have The Club, dear. We are all very sorry."
Quinn frowned. She hadn't realized that she would be the talk of Bridge Club. She should have known that that's what they would talk about over their cucumber sandwiches and tea. All the women at Bridge Club always gossip about other women at Bridge Club while at Bridge Club. Quinn frowned. She wondered if her mother's attempt to keep the perpetual gossip wheel churning was an effort to do her "social part" or smoke and mirrors to just keep herself off of the wheel. She gave Evelyn Greer a look and looked over the woman's shoulder for a basket. She had none. Quinn looked down at the woman's hands. She was holding a 6 pack of bulk champagne bottles.
Evelyn Greer followed her gaze.
"New Year's Party, Quinnie," she said. "You remember, of course?"
The blonde girl nodded. "Mr. and Mrs. Greer always throw a lovely celebration for the New Years."
"And Costco is the place to come," she smiled. She rested her hand on Shelby's. "Lovely to see you again," she said as if she was just running into her and would see her again.
The woman waved and was gone in the crowd with her Champagne in bulk.
"Well," Shelby said.
"She's a crazy cow-" Santana began, only to get a glare from her mother. "Sorry," she muttered.
"She's not that terrible," Quinn said searching for her slightly in the crowd. "There are worse people in the club." The blonde's thoughts trialed off. Evelyn Greer would say hi to her at Costco and wouldn't deny purchasing Champagne in bulk. Evelyn Greer was probably the only woman in Bridge Club who would acknowledge Quinn directly. The other's would cower behind whatever aisle they were in and whisper about her.
"Let's finish up, girls," Shelby said rubbing Quinn's back and kissing her softly on the temple. "We don't want to be here all day."
Quinn smiled. "Neither do I," shrugged. The two of them looked up and Santana was trying to be subtly looking at the list while actually standing in line for mini pigs in the blanket. "We should let her think that she's getting away with that."
Shelby smiled. "You think so?"
The blonde nodded. "Most definitely."
…..
Rachel took a deep breath. She watched as the mailman put mail in the last mailbox on their street and climbed into the white car and drove away. It couldn't be safe driving with the door open she thought, attempting to silence her anxiety about her self appointed task. She went to a football game. Walking to the end of the driveway should be easy. Their driveway was one-eighth of a mile long, which was six hundred sixty feet. Not six hundred AND sixty. Her advanced math teacher told her that adding "and" meant that you were adding a decimal.
She looked at the drive way. It was big enough for bicycle riding and skateboard jumps. It wasn't super long but it was long enough. She had seen the mailman put mail in the mailbox. She knew there was stuff in it.
She went to the closet, pulled on her red peacoat and gingerly buttoned it. She paused and looked at the closet. She is not hiding in the closet anymore. She was going to football games and going to get the mail. She was doing big things and doing awesome stuff. She started toward the door again.
She wasn't going to get Noah, because she might fail and she would fail for sure if he was watching. She was eleven and she used to do this all of the time. Noah was downstairs doing his thing in the basement. She told him that she was watching something on the history channel and she had the television turned up loudly so he could still think that. She was going to do this. Just how she used to.
She reached for the doorknob and paused.
Things weren't like they used to be though. The world was dangerous. She needed to take precaution. She bit her lip and looked in the closet. She reached for an umbrella. That wouldn't protect her would it? She could open it in someone's face. Would that work?
She shook her head. No, it wouldn't.
She turned and looked out the window again. She was going to do it. She just needed something...to protect her. Just in case.
She paused. Keys. There were keys on the counter. They weren't keys like her mother's keys. They were keys like at the dealers. Her nana left the car that they borrowed from the airport at the house. Her nana didn't want to return it only to get another one. Rachel tilted her head. She had seen her sisters and brother drive. She had seen her mother drive and aunt Joey drive. It was easy. Drive, park and reverse. Watch, look, and listen.
She grabbed the keys. It wouldn't be hard at all. She would be safe in a locked car. Rachel climbed into the car. It was facing the street. She just had to start it and drive it down the driveway and go to the mailbox. She moved the seat forward; she adjusted the mirrors and buckled her seatbelt. And most importantly, she locked the doors. She took a deep breath. Six hundred sixty feet.
She started the car and put the car in drive just like she had seen her family members do many times. She had to sit up really tall in the seat in order to see over the wheel but since it was a straight short distance the eleven year old shrugged her shoulders and nodded her head. She knew the brake pedal was on the left and the gas on the right. Rachel was surprised how fast the car moved without even touching the gas pedal so she rode the brake the entire way down the driveway and turned to perfect accuracy so she was parallel to the street. She smiled with glee, that wasn't that hard. She had this. Super perfect. She parked the car again. She rolled down the window slowly, but the driver's side was automatic so it went very fast. She reached out the window for the mailbox. She couldn't reach. She made sure the car was in park once more and reached out the window again. She still couldn't reach. She looked around and unbuckled her seatbelt and leaned out the window. Still couldn't reach. She frowned and looked around again. It was clear.
She tightened her scarf. She could do this. She opened the door and got out. Leave the door open, and don't get locked out, she told herself. Her aunt locked herself out of the car a lot. Only twice with kids in it.
She opened the mailbox carefully and withdrew the mail. There was a lot of mail. She leaned into the car and laid it on the passenger seat and climbed back into the car. After rolling the window back up, she buckled her seatbelt. She checked the mirror and she locked the doors. …..Now she had to back it into the driveway. How did she do that? She bit her lip. She could honk the horn and ask Noah for help but he would be upset. There was nothing to hit in the driveway... she just... How hard could it be?
She moved the seat closer and put her hands at ten and two, something she remembered her mom yelling at Santana about when Santana was a new driver. She took a deep breath and put the gear in reverse. She put her foot on the brake again. There was a slight dip in the street. She couldn't let it slip. She backed up the careful tiny increments of movement. She was back in the driveway. She smiled.
"Did it!" she exclaimed.
Her elbow slipped and bumped the gearshift.
Oops.
…
Shelby turned onto the street, grateful to be out of Costco. Once Evelyn Greer was spotted and Santana received her sample the girls were more cooperative. They were in and out of there like lightening. Santana and Quinn had a strategy and for some reason, Shelby saw what she had missed before, how great of a team the two of them were. Shelby felt less like the mother and more like a follower. Unload the car. Thaw the turkey and...
Shelby thoughts trialed off. What the hell?
"Why's the car moving down the driveway?" Quinn asked from the passenger seat.
"I don't see anyone in the car," Santana frowned, leaning over the center console. "Maybe... Nana left it in neutral?"
"She left yesterday, the car would be in the Henderson's living room by last night if that was true," Quinn stated.
As if on queue Rachel's head popped up and looked at them in panic and apologies before she turned back to the center console and tried to push, what Santana guessed was, the gear shift into park.
Shelby slammed on the breaks. She was sure the groceries went flying in the back. The two older girls gave grunts of pain as the seat belts caught them from lurching forward. Shelby managed to unbuckle and sprinted toward the rolling car that was now about to be in the street. She knew it wasn't a busy street and she knew that the car was just rolling down the hill, but regardless, her youngest daughter was behind the wheel of a moving car. Her eleven year old daughter.
"She's fast for a mom," she heard Quinn say as she sprinted toward the car.
Shelby reached for the handle and the door was locked. She knocked frantically on the window. "Rachel, unlock it. Unlock the door."
"It's locked," Rachel said panic in her eyes.
Shelby took a deep breath walking quickly next to the the crawling car. "Rachel, unlock the door. Just move the lock, okay?"
Rachel nodded and unlocked the door and as soon as it clicked Shelby ripped open the car door, reached over, put the car in park and pulled the emergency break up.
Santana came running over just as Shelby pulled Rachel into her arms and out of the car. She kissed her softly and cradled her head.
"What are you doing?!" Santana exclaimed. "We practically just got rid of your Malibu Barbie car like yesterday."
Rachel looked at her. "That's not true."
"Go unload the groceries with Quinn please. Rachel and I are going to have a chat."
Santana sighed but resigned and went back to the car where Quinn was rolling her eyes.
"It was barely moving," Quinn said as Santana made her way back to the car.
Santana frowned. "It was moving. That's all that matters." She watched as her mother walked Rachel back into the house and yelled for Noah.
"NOAH LEROY CORCORAN!"
He came running up the stairs frantically, an ear bud in one ear and a hammer in the other.
"What? What?" he asked.
"Move your grandmother's rental car," she said calmly holding Rachel's hand.
He frowned. "I thought you took the Range Rover."
"I did. Your sister took her own car," Shelby said motioned down at Rachel. She looked back at Noah. "You and I will have a talk later. Move the car and help Quinn and Santana bring in and unpack the groceries."
Shelby sighed and led Rachel into the study. The tiny girl was calm now. She had a strange smile on her face. That had scared the crap out of her. She hated rolling down the driveway and not being able to stop but she wasn't stupid. She left. She did it. She just didn't complete it. It was as if she received a B... okay... Maybe a C. Never before was she satisfied with a C.
"Rachel, this is not okay," Shelby said sitting on the couch.
"I'm sorry," she whispered.
Shelby sighed. "Rachel, what you did was irresponsible and dangerous and it scared me half to death."
"I know," she whispered.
Shelby knelt down in front of her. She shook her head and managed in a gentle voice, "What the hell were you thinking? The car is not a toy, Rachel. You know that."
"But I just had an umbrella... and it was just in the driveway," Rachel said.
"What do you mean you just had an umbrella?" Shelby asked.
"To protect me," she said.. "I can only do so much with an umbrella but I can hit them with a car."
Shelby frowned. Her children's logic never ceased to amaze her. "Rachel, we've talked about this. Panicked and frantic people with weapons don't go well together. Do you understand that your logic doesn't make sense?"
Rachel thought for a moment. "I wanted to feel safe."
"Why didn't you ask for help?"
"Because I wanted to do it by myself," she said quietly. "It was important to me."
Shelby sighed. "I'm proud that you tried to get the mail, Rachel. But I'm disappointed and shocked that you thought this was okay. You are not even allowed to ride in the front seat yet, Rachel. Why do you think it's okay to drive the car? A rental car for that matter." Shelby searched her daughter's face. "You knew it was wrong. You just didn't think you would get caught."
"Can I plead the fifth?"
"You're not on trial here," she said unamused.
"Am I grounded?" Rachel asked.
"Unquestionably," Shelby said.
"I did it though," she smiled.
Shelby looked at her youngest with a smile. "You did and you scared me."
"No, I left. I left the house and I retrieved the mail," she smiled. "I did it."
"Rachel, I am proud of you for getting the mail and that is a giant step but the way you did it was wrong and you know it. We will work on it and I know that this is big for you but you are about to receive the longest grounding of your life - you could have been seriously hurt unnecessarily young lady and your nana will not be pleased you did it with her rental car. Along with writing nana a letter of apology you are grounded for 2 weeks from all electronics and you will now be writing me a paper on how the state of Ohio chose the legal driving age and when they did."
Rachel nodded. "I'm sorry," she muttered.
Shelby hugged her again. "I know, just please. Do not drive yet. And don't ever use a car... or an umbrella as a weapon..."
"Kay," she whispered as she leaned into her mother. .
….
Quinn looked around as she put the groceries away slowly If she put them away too fast, she couldn't eavesdrop as effectively.
"You were supposed to be watching her, you idiot," Santana spat shoving her brother.
"How was I supposed to know that she was going to go grand theft auto?" Noah retorted. "She told me she was watching a documentary and I could be downstairs."
"She's eleven and she also tells you that-" Santana was cut off.
"Knock it off," a voice echoed and the backdoor opened.
Santana rolled her eyes. "Get out, Griffin, you're in the wrong house." She sneered at her cousin.
"Hello to you too," The tall boy rolled his eyes at his cousin. "Mom, sent me over to help with the meal."
"You mess up peeling potatoes," Santana hissed.
Quinn stood there awkwardly as the bickering continued. She was a part of the family. She knew that but in so many ways she wasn't and Griffin had reminded her of that with their trip to Florida. She turned. She was going to go and this will be her escape and -
"Where are you going?" Shelby asked coming into the room with Rachel. She lowered her voice. "You need to stay with me or another adult at all times, Quinn. I'm sorry, but I need you safe and Rachel just gave me more than enough panic for the day. Thank you."
Quinn frowned as Shelby started giving orders. Thanksgiving wasn't for two days. What was there to prep? What the hell was brining a turkey? Why did that sound like a salmonella bath to her? And why did they need that much gingerbread? What was with all the bags of jumbo marshmallows?
The questions were endless. All of the groceries were put away and the family began to cook. Quinn wasn't sure what they were doing but then realized that they were working on pie. Why does one family need this much pie?
"Keep kneading the dough, Rachel," Shelby said. "Griffin, keep chopping those pecans please and then pit the cherries. Noah, cut the strawberries I mean it. Stop eating them. San and Quinn, seriously, please at least pretend that you're washing and drying all of that produce."
"Is this what we're doing for the next two days?" Quinn groaned. She looked up and realized she had spoken her question out loud.
"No, tonight's the first event," Rachel said with a shrug.
Shelby took four sheets of gingerbread out of the oven.
Quinn narrowed her eyes. "Please don't tell me that we're having a cliche gingerbread house making contest."
Noah looked at her. "It's not a gingerbread house. It's the most epic gingerbread tower. It doesn't matter if it's pretty. It's whoever can make it the tallest."
"That's really stupid," Quinn muttered.
"Don't knock it, Q,"Griffin spat. "You're here to celebrate. Aren't you?"
"Buck up or shut up, Griffin," Santana bit. "You're just bitter because you lose every year... usually because you throw a hissy and break your tower."
"Santana," Shelby said intervening. "Griffin. Enough. Quinn, if you do not want to participate you don't have to," Shelby stated. She tilted her head. "However, you're going to be with us the whole night so... In my opinion you might as well participate."
….
For the first time since Quinn had moved into the house, they were eating in the big dining room at the fancy table instead of around the island. Joey and Bear joined them for dinner. There were plenty of small conversations going on around them; however, Santana didn't listen and instead watched Rachel carefully for the evening. The car thing freaked her out. It freaked her out a lot. She caught Rachel tracing her fingers on the edge of the plated after dinner. She caught her mother's eyes and begged for a moment.
Rachel continued to poke at her food and then noticed that people were getting up to leave back toward the kitchen. She felt her sister turn next to her.
"Hi," she said looking up at her. "Are you mad?"
Santana looked at her and gave a slight shrug. "A little, but I kinda get it."
Rachel nodded and continued to trace the edge of the plate. Santana leaned back and rested her arm on the back of Rachel's chair.
"Are you thinking about how we're not using our normal plates?" Santana guessed. "Because you broke all of them?" Rachel gave a nod.
"Didn't you feel badly about all of the lamps you broke?" the eleven year old asked.
Santana scoffed. "Not really."
Rachel nodded and continued to push her food around on her plate. She tilted her head down and stared down at her food. "I … I'm sorry for what I did today," she muttered. "And I'm sorry for breaking the plates …..but in those moments I didn't feel... like me."
Santana nodded, understanding what she was and wasn't saying. "I get it," she stated quietly. "But... you can't just break stuff."
Rachel frowned and looked at her sister. "That's a little hypocritical don't you think."
Santana shrugged. "Do as I say not as I do. Maybe you and I can go running."
"We're grounded," Rachel muttered. She pushed her food around on her plate again. "We're the same now. We break stuff."
She bit her lip and stared at her baby sister. She didn't want that for Rachel. She didn't want her sister to break things. Santana knew what she felt like when she broke things. She felt like her emotions were going to explode from every pore; she felt like she would never relieve the stress in her head that was usually a pounding headache. She didn't want that for Rachel. She knew that Rachel always wanted to be her and that responsibility was too much because Santana couldn't stand the person she had become. It wasn't the anger that scared her. It was all those other emotions that the anger covered up.
"Rachel, I don't break things because …. because I want to," Santana said. "I don't like doing it. It's because …. or at least this is what Julia said, it's because that big bang... the crash... it's a shock value. It like... releases something in me where I can finally relax."
She searched her sister's eyes as she gave her the explanation. She couldn't read them.
"What?" Santana asked.
"That's not how I felt," Rachel whispered. "I didn't feel anything.. It's like I didn't even do it..." Rachel shrugged and looked at her food and leaned against Santana's side as they say quietly at the table. "But I feel badly... I really liked those plates." She bit her lip and looked at her. "Can we go running? I would like to try."
Santana smiled and ran her hand through Rachel's hair. "Yeah?"
"But...I had to leave the house in a car to get the mail..." Santana continued to look at her. Rachel rolled her eyes. "I can't run in the car..."
Santana laughed. "We can start small. We don't have to go run a marathon." She groaned. "Please don't make me run a marathon." Rachel gave a tiny smile. "Oh, there's that smile." She took a deep breath. "Rach, look at me for a second."
Rachel bit her lip and looked up at her big sister. "Yeah?"
"I need you to promise me something," Santana began.
"I promise that I won't stuff too many marshmallows in my mouth during Chubby Bunny," Rachel said with a tiny nod.
She shook her head. "Yeah, that too... thanks. But that's not what I was going to ask you." She took a deep breath and took Rachel's hands. "We're sisters, Rachel."
Rachel laughed. "I know."
The older girl squeezed her hands a little tighter. "Rachel, I need you to talk to me. I need you to tell me when you don't …. when you feel scared and out of control."
"You've asked me this," Rachel said with a tilt of her head. "I tell you as much as I can." She shrugged. "Sometimes, I just don't have the words."
Santana gave a nod. "I know how that can be. I also know that it can be scary to ask for help."
"I'll always ask you for help," Rachel stated looking at Santana.
"Really?" Santana asked.
Rachel nodded again. "Because you'll always be here for me right?"
Santana gave a tiny scoff. "Of course."
"You always let me sleep with you, Santana," Rachel said. "Pretty sure I peed in your bed...and puked on you last year when I had the flu. I know that I have you and I especially know that not everyone is lucky to have a sister like you. I promise that I'll tell you things." she lowered her head. "I'm scared," she whispered.
Santana reached out and pulled Rachel into her lap. "I know, bug. I will be with every step of the way. You don't have to do this alone."
"Do what?"
She shrugged. "Any of it." She rested her cheek against Rachel's forehead. "The trial. You stealing cars. Any of it. I'll be there."
"Kay," Rachel said leaning back against her sister.
Santana kissed her on the top of the hear. "Kay."
Santana didn't worry about losing Rachel, but she worried about Rachel losing her. About being left behind. However, as they sat there in that moment, Santana realized that Rachel wouldn't ever walk away from her. She frowned more deeply as she realized that she had always had a tiny bit of her that wanted to walk away from her, but never could.
Santana narrowed her eyes and backed up to savior the victories of her goal. This was her year. She was twelve years old and this was her year. She wasn't stupid her cousins were idiots and her brother always cheated. She was now older. She pushed her sleeves up and looked at what she had accomplished. Her gingerbread tower was stable, tall and on top over everything else, pretty. And most importantly: She was winning. She smiled. She was totally going to win.
A small defeated cry brought her out of victory thoughts.
She looked over and Rachel's gingerbread tower had crumpled. The seven year old gave a sigh and knelt down on the ground and rested her bottom against her heels. She sighed and groaned in defeat at her crumbled tower.
"Ten more minutes, guys," Bear called out. "Sorry, Rachel. Come over here and you can be my judge."
Rachel just continued to look at her pile of crumbled candy. Santana shook her head. Rachel wasn't going to win with her tower anyway. She had spent the last hour and fifty minutes working on the placements of her gumdrops on her foundation of her tower. Who placed gumdrops for that long? She scoffed. A seven year old baby would. She frowned. Rachel wasn't sobbing or whining. She was just staring at the rubble of her tower in sadness. She needed to focus on putting on the top. She needed to win. Dexter always won and she didn't want to deal with that again. However, watching silent tears run down her sister's cheeks made her hate that she wanted to win this.
"Bear, Rachel and I are a team. She's working with me," Santana said with a sigh. That seven year old was going to ruin her tower.
"Hey! She can't do that! Rule # 6: Teams must be clearly stated," Griffin hollered.
"It never says when they say it needs to be stated," Santana hissed. She turned more gently to Rachel. "Come here, bug. Come help me."
Rachel stood up solemnly, still upset with her loss.
"You suck so bad, Santana! You're not going to win!" Griffin yelled as he looked over at her causing his own tower to crumble.
Santana arched her brow. "Who sucks now!"
"Enough," Shelby said. "Rule #1 Good Sportsmanship!"
Santana rolled her eyes and continued, all the while surveying her competition. Noah and Dexter had tall towers. She needed to beat them. She looked at the shambles of Rachel's tower. The objective of this competition was to build the tallest one and the pieces had to be connected. She narrowed her eyes deep in thought. One year, Dexter had used cardboard. However, no one seemed to remember. The main rule was that the builder couldn't hold onto the creation. If Dexter used cardboard, why couldn't Santana use Rachel. So what if her dumb brother and cousin didn't think of it? That's not her fault. It wasn't cheating. She was being smart.
"Five more minutes," Bear called out.
Santana ran into the garage and retrieved a ladder.
"Santana, what are you doing?" Shelby called.
"You'll see," she stated as she dragged the ladder next to her tall, perfect tower. "Rachel, come here,"she instructed.
"You're cheating!"
"Am not!" Santana led Rachel up the ladder. "Rachel, just stand on the third rung."
The seven year old nodded, eager to be in charge of the excitement.
"Two minutes!"
"Santana, what exactly are you doing?" Shelby asked placing her hand on Rachel's back to steady her on the ladder.
"Rachel, here," Santana said giving Rachel her broken gingerbread foundation. "Hold it in the air like a statue of liberty with one hand and then put your finger on the top of my tower."
"One minute," Bear called.
"We're totally going to win," Santana smiled at her sister.
They had won. However, a new rule was made that gingerbread much be touching gingerbread for added height. Santana remembered, while fleeting, how she wanted to leave Rachel behind. There was never any moment that she really did, but there had been so many tiny moments like this that made her regret it. She never told anyone that she felt badly because she knew that people would assume that the she was overreacting or they would analyze her concern into the ground.
She knew what she felt and she knew that she couldn't hide behind Rachel much longer, but old habits were hard to break. It wasn't just about hiding but it was about everything all at once. She was sixteen and she knew that she never focused on herself because she felt like doing so was like opening pandora's box. She remembered learning about how that opening of the box released all of the evils of the world. She remembered that there was one thing that was left unreleased in the bottom of the box: hope.
Rachel gripped her hand, pulling her from her thoughts.
"Is Brittany coming over for pie?" she asked.
Santana looked at her with surprise. "I … I think so. I forgot to ask her. We'll have ask."
"I hope she does," Rachel said resting back against her.
"Yeah?"
"Yeah," she stated. "You seem happier when she's here. She's always here for pie."
...
Quinn looked around the room. Everything seemed to have been moving in slow motion. She was now certain that her only knowledge of Thanksgiving only mimicked what she had seen on television. Thanksgiving at the the Fabray house was nothing like it was at the Corcorans, but nothing ever was. First there was the gingerbread contest and then a disgusting game called Chubby Bunny and then yesterday they had an outrageous game of flag football. There were all games to prep for the holiday season and now it was finally Thanksgiving Day. She was trying to decipher exactly was going on, but she couldn't. The family had a habit of talking all at once, over each other.
She hated the holidays. She didn't like them because people spent so much effort pretending to live up to a holiday standard of "goodness and joy and love" and crap so strongly, that it was as if those things didn't exist during the rest of the year. While the birth of Jesus was symbolic, Quinn had a small amount more of tolerance for the holiday than she did Thanksgiving. Thanksgiving was just salt in a bullet wound. Literally, a bullet wound. It was a holiday to celebrate and give thanks; it symbolized compromise and appreciation of the settlers and the Native Americans coming together. Quinn was 100% sure that the people on the still very real reservations aren't celebrating the grabbing, gluttonous hands of the "Americans." The blonde had had sixteen years to truly embrace her bitterness over the holidays and in her opinion. People should be more bitter. Manifest destiny and the establishment of this country was wrought not by the "American Dream" but assholes who wanted more than the next person. Nevertheless, people sat down for the sake of appreciation, hope and love, and crap, as they rolled the bullshit idea of Thanksgiving in powdered sugar and stuffed their throats like true patriots.
Quinn blinked and paused for a second.
Her annual bitter holiday rant seemed so out of place in the Corcoran house as the family literally began to deck the halls for Christmas. What family decked the halls?
"Here," Rachel said giving Quinn a pile of decorations. "Your internal monologue is really loud."
"What?" Quinn asked.
"Your scowl on your face demonstrated you were judging our holiday festivities," Rachel stated. "Don't be bitter. You'll get an ulcer. And you already have no spleen and a broken arm. I wouldn't try my luck if I were you."
"You're intelligent, Rachel, you have to admit that Thanksgiving is completely absurd," Quinn stated as she stood up and began to hang the decorations, but not because she wanted to, just because she needed something to do.
"Not as absurd as Columbus Day, but pretty close, but I guess... while the holiday derives from a very twisted place, it encourages people not to suck as much as they normally do."
Quinn smiled. Rachel had been happy since she had won the gingerbread competition a couple days ago. Quinn was sure that she won because she was Rachel but she found out that Rachel had planned on building a grand tower for a while. However, Quinn, was still embarrassed for Noah, Santana, and Griffin and how into the competition they were. She sighed and slowly began to hand the decorations.
The blonde reached over her shoulder and looked over her shoulder at the door. Nana come in through the garage with a pile of mail. She had found out about Rachel's escapades under Noah's lack of supervision and both of them received a lecture from the older woman. She paused and watched as the older woman walked up to Shelby and started chatting with her. She handed her what looked like a stack of mail. Quinn suddenly remembered that no one had been in the car since Rachel went for her joy ride. The young girl paused even more as the women both looked over at her.
"What did you do?" Santana asked her quietly.
Quinn just shrugged.
Quinn watched Shelby open an envelope and give a heavy sigh. She watched as the woman pinched the bridge of her nose. She looked over at Santana.
"I don't know."
A timer went off, bringing Quinn out of her stupor.
"Dinner's ready!" Joey yelled. "Dining room please!"
Quinn followed in behind them as they all started to sit down. The table looked like it should be in a magazine. She was grateful to be here and knew that everyone had accepted her, but still she felt out of place. It was as if someone was singing in her ear, "one of these things is not like the other." She sat at the table and the meal began. The turkey was perfect. This is everything she never knew that she wanted. She just did not know how to accept it.
"Can I go to the bathroom?" she asked suddenly. She looked up and realized that everyone had started to eat dinner. She looked apologetically around knowing that it was rude to ask that at the table.
Shelby nodded and set her cloth napkin on the table and stood up.
Griffin opened his mouth to ask a question but the table shifted and he cringed in pain. "Why'd you kick me?" he asked his mother.
Joey shrugged. Shelby held her arm out and Quinn stepped in front of her and up the stairs.
Quinn felt like her head was going to explode. She was now a family member full of brunettes. She always thought that this what she wanted but she didn't know how to do this. They arrived at the bathroom upstairs.
"I can go in by myself," Quinn said.
"I know that you can," Shelby said. "I will wait right here."
Quinn nodded. She finished her business quickly and washed her hands, curing her damn cast again. She sat against the bathtub and frowned. The last two days had been a whirlwind. They had made so many pies that Quinn thought they were working for a bakery. They had made so much gingerbread that she was sure that the family owned stock in the ginger industry.
There was a gentle knock at the door.
"Come in," she groaned.
"Hi," Shelby said peeking in.
"Hi," she muttered back.
Shelby sunk down and sat next to her. "How are you holding up?"
"You've asked me that every day since the holiday started," she said pulling her knees up to her chest. "Usually you ask twice or three times a day."
"And what's your answer right now?" Shelby said with a small smile.
"I'm tired," she said with a frown. "... This... is just... Thanksgiving is …. the one day a year that I have a peanut butter and jelly sandwich and I read Little Women alone in my bedroom." She looked up at Shelby. "I know that... that everyone is thinking..." Quinn trialed off.
Shelby looked at her. "What do you think they're thinking?"
Quinn shook her head and gave a scoff. "Everyone knows that I probably did something sad and pathetic like that during the holidays. Not just the people in this house but everyone in this town. Oh look at what a lovely holiday Quinn Fabray will have now. What a kind woman that Shelby Corcoran is for taking in poor ol' Quinn." The teenager mocked.
"If that's what everyone is saying," Shelby said evenly. "What are you thinking?"
Quinn rested her chin on her knees and looked up at her with a deep breath. She shrugged one of her shoulders. "I know that you care about me. I know that it's genuine. I know that I want to be a part of this family, but it doesn't mean that I'll be any good at it."
"There's no such thing as good or bad at it," Shelby said. "I told you that you don't have to participate in any of the events. You watched. That's fine. You're still a part of this family and I will always remind you of it."
"Only because you don't want me to tattoo it on my other hip," she smirked.
Shelby laughed. "I certainly don't want you to get another tattoo."
"You're not mad anymore?" she asked honestly.
"I'm not super thrilled about it nor am I ready to put it in the next family newsletter, but I'm certainly not seething over it," Shelby stated. "How are you feeling?"
Quinn shook her head. "Fine... Why?"
"How are you really feeling?" Shelby asked again.
The blonde shrugged again. "Fine... why?" the girl repeated.
"Quinn, you're not feeling tired? Or having discomfort when you're going to the bathroom?" Shelby asked carefully.
"Why are you asking me this?" Quinn asked skeptically.
"We're going to go to the doctors on Monday," Shelby stated.
"Again? I don't want to," she stated. "I'm fine. I feel the same that I've always felt.
Shelby looked over at her and paused. She took a deep breath. "Quinn, after... the accident you and Rachel had pelvic exams done."
"Amongst other things," Quinn mumbled as her eyes darted towards the floor.
"Well, it took awhile for the results to come back because they didn't know who your primary care physician was and so it was routed and re-routed and finally came back to Dr. Pierce's office."
Quinn sighed. "I don't understand. What are you telling me?"
"I didn't want to tell you today," Shelby began.
"Then why are you?" Quinn asked, sure that she wasn't going to like what she was going to hear.
"Because I think that you can maybe get the holiday celebration you want," Shelby smiled. Quinn didn't return it so she continued. "Quinn, they did an STD panel and the results came back."
"That's what you were reading today," Quinn stated. "Before dinner?" She gulped and took a deep breath. "Is... is what I have curable?"
Shelby wrapped her arms around her and pulled her close. "Absolutely. We're going to make sure everything is cleared up."
"What is it?" Quinn asked, unsure and scared of what would be revealed.
The mother looked at her hesitantly. There was no easy way to say this especially with all the baggage that Quinn seemed to carry around. "You have chlamydia," Shelby said after a moment of hesitation.
Quinn snorted "Of course I do," she scoffed. She shook her head. "Fuck!" She threw her hands up in the air. "Why not? Give the girl a prize!"
Shelby kissed her softly on the forehead. "I'm sorry, sweetheart,"
"I knew that there was something wrong," she mumbled. "It just... I … It's felt better since the accident though."
"Probably because of the antibiotics, but you'll need different ones," Shelby stated.
"That means lots of yogurt," she muttered.
Shelby chuckled. "Yes. You'll need to get checked every three months."
"I think …. I think I might have given it to Finn," she whispered. She shook her head. "I thought that he gave it to me... He slept with a girl before me … and then a girl after me... People at school made fun of them because they were the school whores.. and … Everyone found out that they had … chlamydia..." Quinn bowed her head. "I gave it to them."
"So Finn's already been treated?"
Quinn nodded. "I think so. He is not known for being subtle and was asking all these questions in health class and the nurse had to call his mother. …. I just... I didn't think... I read the symptoms …. and …. I didn't think... I had it..."
"One of the girls could have given it to you," Shelby assured.
Quinn laughed. "We both know who gave it to me..." she said looking at her hands. "Without... without a spleen... am I going to be okay? You said that I can't fight infections."
Shelby nodded. "That's something that we need to check out," she said gently. "We will fix this. You will be healthy and back to doing whatever you want to do, be that cheerleading or running or dance or photography or whatever. We're going to get you healthy and you will be fine." Quinn leaned her head against Shelby's shoulder. "Can you tell me what your symptoms are?"
"I'm just... really tired... and... when I go to the bathroom it's a little …. uncomfortable but... "
"Have you been sleeping better?"
Quinn became very quiet.
"What?" Shelby asked.
"I … I sleep better when someone sleeps with me..." she said biting the edge of her mouth. "I know that that's really childish and.."
Shelby gave a soft smile. "Have you seen this house? You never have to ask, okay?"
"So I can... I can stay with you?"
"Absolutely," Shelby smiled.
They sat in silence for a moment and Quinn sighed. "What other symptoms should I have?"
"Well, you said you have discomfort during urination, do you have... any … discharge or anything? Or … Inconsistent periods or spotting?"
Quinn nodded, embarrassed. "I...I thought it was normal... I read that... that discharge is normal...I've had that for a long time... It's just not something I know how to ask for help about... I don't know how to... I didn't know if I should...Is this... Is this what you..." She trialed off feeling her cheeks flush.
"What?"
"Is that what you and Nana were talking about?" she managed.
Shelby sighed. "Yes, she was finally cleaning out the car after Rachel went on her little drive. And Rachel did manage to get the mail. It had all fallen on the floor after I stopped the car and I had forgotten about it. This is no one else's business but your own, Quinn. We don't have to tell anyone."
Quinn remained silent. She was mortified. She felt like the list, "Things that Have Happened to Quinn Fabray" had just received its last blow.
"You're so much more than the things that happen to you," Shelby whispered to her, kissing her on the temple. "I promise you."
Quinn just gave a tiny nod and looked down at her hands.
"I love you and we will figure this out. And you will feel so much better now that we have this all figured out. You'll have an energy that you haven't had before to figure out what makes you happy." Quinn just nodded and gave her a tearful smile. Shelby sighed. "Okay. Let's get you settled. You can stay up here for the rest of the night if you'd like."
"Really?" the blond asked.
"Really," she said. "I'll bring you up a small plate of food. We'll get you settled and then you can read if you'd like. I think Rachel has Little Women."
"Maybe, I should read a book I haven't read," she shrugged. "Start a new tradition."
"I hope that this isn't the tradition," Shelby laughed.
"I've always wanted to read Peter Pan," she replied.
"We definitely have that book," Shelby assured. She kissed her softly on the forehead and pulled her to her feet. "While you're sick, you're still not getting out of the photo that we're taking sometime this weekend."
"What photo?"
"For the Christmas card," she stated simply.
Quinn frowned. We do that?"
Shelby chuckled. "That we do. Let's go find that book and get you some meds."
….
About twenty minutes later, Shelby was back at the table and told everyone that Quinn wasn't feeling well and dinner continued.
"Well, she lasted longer than I hoped," Griffin stated.
"Enough," Nana said. "We will make her a plate. If she wants to rest, let her rest."
"I have nothing against her. I know that she's had a crap deal," Griffin said again.
"What are you saying?" Rachel asked.
"What do you mean?" Santana bit.
"All I'm saying is that this is different for her and we're all crazy," he said.
"She is a member of this family," Santana barked. "You need to get over whatever your problem is."
"I know she is," Griffin argued back. "I just saying... we're not a simple family to come into. We're certifiably crazy."
"We are?" Rachel asked.
"We're not," Noah stated putting another scoop of potatoes on Rachel's plate
"We kinda are," Joey muttered.
"We're not," Bear stated, agreeing with his mother-in-law. .
"Sanity is over-rated," Nana said as she loaded a plate up for Quinn.
"Nana, I don't think that Quinn will want as much as you're putting on there," Rachel said.
"Well, better to have too much than too little, bug," she stated. She winked at her. "Unless you're driving a car."
Rachel frowned. "I said that I was sorry."
"Don't be," Griffin smiled. "Everyone needs to go on a joy ride."
"Griffin, eat your meal and stop putting your foot in your mouth," Joey stated.
He sighed. "Fine," he continued to eat quietly.
"The food tastes great," Dexter offered.
"Don't act like a grown up," Noah said.
"I am a grown up," Dexter argued.
"Are not," Griffin argued.
"Yeah, huh," Dexter said.
"Nana, I think we are insane," Rachel mumbled as she watched the group.
"Noah, pass the beans please," Michael called. The food moved around the table. Small talk was made about the desserts and the Thanksgiving meal overall.
"Soooo," Griffin began suddenly. The family looked at him with a mixture of frustration, annoyance, and impatience. "Fine... nevermind," he grumbled looking down at his place. "You know what?"
He realized his mistake because the entire family seemed to react and ask at once.
"You're the Grinch?" Rachel asked.
"You cheated today during flag football because I saw that and that was cheating?" Noah said pointing his finger at him.
"We don't want to hear how you're constipated, dear," Nana said quietly.
"No, Grif, you're not Charlie Brown. Don't play the victim," Dexter said as he rolled his eyes.
"Griffin, eat your food," Bear instructed.
"You realized your balls fell off at birth and were used as implants for your bulging eyes?" Santana spat. Her question was the longest and so the whole family heard it.
"Santana Louise!"
"Sorry, Nana..."
A silence settled over them.
"Nevermind," he muttered.
Santana glared at him. She knew that Griffin wasn't a purebred douchebag but she was confident that he was a breed of one. Probably from a distant relative of Bear's. She couldn't stand him at all and in her heart of hearts she knew it was because he had worse control than she did when it came to his brash comments and lewd ways. He was a purposeful douche when he felt scared and needed to defend his territory. He was an idiot but he was one that had a purpose. then when he said stupid things usually he genuinely wanted to know; he just lacked tact on how to ask. Still understanding him didn't make her like her cousin more, but it also didn't make her hate him any less.
Santana looked up when Griffin muttered under his breath again.
"What?" she asked.
"I was just going to ask about the trial," he said quietly. "I just... I want to know what's going on but it's like I'm asking about..." He trialed off when he saw everyone's faces.
"Listen, we understand that you have questions," Michael began. "But, it's best if you asked them privately."
Griffin looked around at the table and it was quiet. He sighed heavily. "Sorry."
Santana looked down at her food. She had purposefully not really thought about the trial because she didn't want to. She needed to focus on something else. She looked up and glared at him and narrowed her eyes. He was there last time. She shook her head. Sort of, she corrected. He wasn't there for the trial itself but he knew how hard it had been. The small portion of her level headed self knew that it was the only way Griffin knew how to understand. He only knew how to ask the hard questions. He was like a less cute, more obnoxious, insensitive older version of Rachel.
Santana closed her eyes and smelt the scent of mahogany and oranges. She felt a cold steel in her hands.
"Santana?" The girl opened her eyes. "Everyone is finished eating except me and you," Rachel said quietly. Santana looked around. The table was being slowly cleaned up. "Mom said to let you have a moment," Rachel continued. "What were you thinking about?"
"Nothing," she said shaking her head and widening her eyes with a slight shrug. "I just... nothing."
"Oh... Okay. Want to heat up your food? You've been moving it around your plate," she stated.
"No, it's fine," she smiled. "Don't worry about it."
Santana continued to eat quietly even though she could feel her sister's eyes on her. She knew that Rachel knew that she was thinking about the trial or New York or the combination of the two. She knew that Rachel wanted her to answer her questions but she wasn't sure how.
She took a deep breath. "Remember how when you ate the lemon cookies that Nana made yesterday and you told us that you remembered something about when you were little about eating those?" Rachel nodded. "Sometimes I think of things or smells and I remember things too."
"Oh," Rachel whispered. "You don't have to talk about it," she muttered.
"But I know you want me to," Santana said setting her fork down. "I know you're scared about this trial, but you're going to get through it. I promise."
"You just sat silently staring at your mashed potatoes for the last twenty minutes because Griffin mumbled about the last trial and you only did a video testimony for that... I'm sorry if my confidence isn't soaring through the roof..." Rachel muttered.
Santana gave a small scoff. "You can do this."
"But you're scared. You're the strongest person I know and you're still scared..." she mumbled.
"Just because you're scared doesn't mean that you can't do this," Santana said. "I was eight years old. You are so much older and more mature than I was."
"That's not true," Rachel mumbled. She looked up at her. "I never had to take care of someone like you took care of me."
Santana leaned on the table and rested her chin on her fist. "That might be true but... Rachel you can do this."
"I don't think that I can," she mumbled. "But I can't back out."
Santana straightened when she heard this. "Rachel," she began.
"You'll be there, though?"
"Every step of the way," Santana replied. "I'm just scared for you and I hate that I can't fix this."
Rachel looked up at her. "I tried to keep it a secret," she whispered.
Santana sighed heavily. "I know that you did," she said gently. "You can't ever keep a secret like that, Rach. That wasn't what I meant."
"Why?" she asked. "Look at you. Your food is cold because I couldn't keep it a secret."
She smiled. "I really like my food cold. I won't burn my tongue," Santana sighed. "You and Quinn will be incredible. We will put him away and you will be okay."
"I promise I won't lie to you. Ever again, " Rachel said seriously.
Santana poked her nose. "You better not."
"I won't."
"You girls finished?" Nana asked as she came into the room. Rachel nodded. Santana watched as Shelby ushered Rachel into the kitchen and talk about the importance of eating a little bit more. Santana looked at her mostly empty plate. Orange and mahogany.
The large door opened.
"Santana?"
She narrowed her eyes and looked at the woman in front of her. She looked over her shoulder at her mother. "Who's she?"
"Why don't you ask," Shelby encouraged her eight year old.
"Who are you?" she asked.
The woman told her her name but Santana didn't care about her name and the woman saw that. "I'm here to ask you the questions." The woman whose name Santana didn't care about looked at her mother who gave a nod. The nameless lady continued. "You will sit in this chair and the camera is over there. I brought you some snacks. Well, we only had oranges."
Santana frowned. "I don't want oranges. My mom gives me them instead of candy."
"Well, lets get started then," she said guiding Santana over to the chair. "I'm going to ask you questions and all you have to do is answer to the camera."
The first few questions were easy. Her name. Her birth date and how old she was. Her family.
But then the questions became harder. She wasn't even sure she was answering them. She didn't know how to do this.
"Where is your father?"
"He died in an elevator," she stated.
They wrote something and she gripped her hand around the metal chair armrests.
"Do you know who hurt you?"
She frowned. "Yeah and my brother and my baby sister."
"Who did?"
"Hiram," she stated.
She looked over at her mother, who gave her a nod.
"How did he hurt you?"
"With his belt. He kicked my brother sometimes. …. and he... he did stuff to my sister..."
"Did he do stuff to you?"
Santana took a deep breath. Mahogany. Her father used to have a big mahogany desk.
"Yes...but not like Rachel."
"What did he do to you?"
"I had to... um..." She looked at her hands. "He put something in my mouth sometimes..."
"Do you know what?"
"It's really gross..." she muttered unable to look at the camera anymore.
"It's okay."
"His …. his... privates... you know... my brother calls it his winky," she frowned when her mom made a noise behind them. Santana turned in the chair to look at her.
"You're doing great, baby," she smiled. Santana hated when she smiled like that. It wasn't really a smile. it was more like a face that she made when Rachel cried when she had a diaper change or when Rachel wouldn't eat or Noah would throw something on the ground.
She turned back to the woman. She decided she would call her Daisy in her head.
"What else did he do to you, Santana?"
She looked over at her mother again and then back at Daisy the cow. "The Cow" part seemed necessary. "Does my mom have to be in here?"
"Yes," Daisy the cow said.
"Because this is making her cry," Santana stated.
"I'm fine, Santana. I'm fine. Keep going," her mother assured.
"What else did Hiram do to you?"
"He … um... he put something inside of me after he spanked me. He didn't like clothes on me or Rachel... He smiled when things weren't funny..."
"Do you know what he put inside of you?"
She shrugged. "It hurt," she said simply. "I didn't cry for very long though... not really. Rachel didn't really cry. She does now... but she didn't when he was with her. She was really quiet."
"What did he do to Rachel?"
She felt a big ball in her throat. Like a gum ball. She wanted to back out but she couldn't.
"I counted," she said straightening.
"Counted what?"
"How many times I went into the room with him. I went in five times... and he... he normally did the same things... Like I told you..."
"Santana, what did he do to Rachel?"
"He... spanked her and …. put... put his fingers inside her until she bled..." Santana said with a frown. "But she didn't scream... when he did it to me I screamed... but when he did it to her... she was quiet.-"
"Santana?"
She looked up with a slight jump.
She looked up and Brittany was sitting next to her.
"Hi," Santana stood up and hugged her without hesitation.
"Happy Thanksgiving to you," Brittany smiled rubbing her back.
Santana smiled into her neck.
"You okay?"
"No," she mumbled taking Brittany's hand and tracing her knuckles.
"Pumpkin? Cherry? Pecan or chocolate? Apple? or Blueberry? Or what?" Brittany looked at the pies. "You're family freaking loves pie."
"Yeah," she smiled.
"I just made a plate of all of them," she stated.
Santana picked at the pie.
"I … um... when I was eight years old I had to testify at the trial but... it was over video. Doing the video was extremely hard... and Rachel and Quinn can't even do that. They have to be face to face with the whole courtroom," she said lowly as she mixed in her ice cream with her pie making it look like striped soup. Santana looked up. "I'm scared of what this will do to Rachel and Quinn."
"It's okay to be scared," Brittany said.
"I don't know, Brit," she said quietly. "It's not just that I'm not very good at showing it... I'm not good at feeling it..."
"Emotions suck," Brittany said quietly.
"But … they're scared enough... they don't need to know that I am too..." Santana replied.
"True," Brittany nodded. "You don't have to be brave all the time though, San."
Santana leaned forward and kissed her softly on the lips. "Thanks," she whispered.
"I didn't do anything."
"You're listening and eating pie with me... That's plenty," She smiled. "Are you staying the night? Rachel kicks so..."
"I don't mind," Brittany said. "Your mom said I could stay if I wanted to."
"I should be catatonic at the table more often," she smiled. "My mom and grandmother and aunt are doing their traditional Black Friday thing."
"You mean that thing they do when they go and poke fun of and ruin the crazy holiday thing?" Brittany asked.
"Yeah," Santana laughed. "BFS: Black Friday Sabotage.
Brittany shook her head. "You're family is so weird."
"You have no idea," she muttered. Santana smiled and leaned over toward her again. "I'm really happy you're here." She kissed her softly.
"Ditto," Brittany smiled and kissed back.
"Get a room!" Noah said as he passed through.
"Do not, no, do not get a room!" Shelby called.
"It's not like she can get her pregnant," Griffin stated as he leaned against the doorway.
"Griffin," Bear groaned.
"It's true," Griffin shrugged. Dexter smacked him in the back of his head. "Ow."
"Don't be a dick," Dexter stated.
"It is a fact," Griffin said. "Unless, you're packing, Britt."
"Do you have a filter? At all?" Brittany asked.
"Clearly not."
Shelby looked at the girls. "Santana, Rachel is already curled up with Quinn. They're leaving room for you. Brittany, you're welcome to sleep over but you'll need to stay on the couch."
"My mom did say she was going to come pick me up at eleven," Brittany admitted and Santana scrunched her nose in disapproval. "She said that my sister was never allowed to do sleepovers with her boyfriends so just because you're you and I'm me doesn't make it any different."
"Poo on equality," she said squeezing Brittany's hand. She leaned over and whispered, "Maybe you should come over while everyone is out shopping."
"What a lovely idea!" Shelby called from across the room.
"She has ears of the bat," Santana groaned.
"Santana, you are still grounded but I definitely need help with cleaning. Your sisters are also grounded. You two can be on Rachel duty. But Brittany, I think you can come over and help her clean."
"Can Mike come over?" Noah attempted.
"Sure, but cleaning must be done. That means raking outside," Shelby stated.
"We'll take what we can get."
"You're not going to be alone all day. I'm going to be back around 8am and Bear and Pop-Pop will be here to keep you all in line." Shelby started up the back stairs. "I'm going to go upstairs and nap. Please behave."
"Perfect."
Santana settled and continued to hold Brittany's hand with one hand and trace it with the other. They would get through this. Scared and all.
Thank you again for your support everyone. It means so much.