Written for Hogwarts' Around the World Event: Iceland: (spell) Imperio.

Word count: 523

Imperio

"Imperio!"

To the outside world, Lily freezes between one step and the next, the horror on her face easing out into a neutral expression that makes James' blood run cold.

He can't tell which Death Eater cast the spell, and there's no one around to assist him—Lily and he have been separated from the rest of the Order quite effectively, and though he can see them, there's no way they can reach him without endangering themselves.

Lily is turning around to face him now, her wand arm raised, and James barely manages to duck under the first curse she casts, her face now twisted into a hateful rictus that makes him want to die.

What is it like for her, he wonders, to have lost all control of her body? Does she even realize what she's doing now, that she's trying to kill him?

Merlin, James hopes not—he's the one with the guilt complex usually, and of all the habits of his that Lily could pick up, he really hopes that this won't be one of them.

His musings are cut short by another one of Lily's curse splashing against his shield so strongly James can feel the air vibrate.

Dimly, he can hear one of the Death Eaters laughing—the one who cast the Imperio on Lily, maybe, but then again, who knows what these freaks find funny—as he recasts his shield again.

He refuses to fight his wife—and anyway, even if he did try to fight Lily, his heart wouldn't be in it, and she'd end up hitting him. At least this way, her attention stays on him and he's moderately safe.

(is it selfish of him to prefer she kill him over risking injuring her? it seems selfish, and James hates himself for being unable to make any other choice anyway)

"Lily, please," he pleads. "It's me, James—please try to fight this, you know you can."

For a single, glorious instant, it seems as though it's working—Lily's forehead creases as she frowns in concentration, and she clenches her teeth forcefully—but it doesn't last.

It is only luck that saves him—by the time the battle ends and the Death Eaters Apparate away, James has basically forfeited his life.

"I forgive you," he whispers. He doesn't know if Lily can hear him, somewhere under the spell that holds her captive, and while part of him still hopes that she'll be one of the lucky people who'll never know what they did under the Imperio, he also hopes she'll remember his words.

The spell snaps so suddenly and unexpectedly that James can almost hear it break. Lily's wand arm falls to her side and she blinks confusedly, as though she was waking up from a dream, and she stumbles toward James drunkenly, her wand falling to the ground with a loud clutter.

"I'm so sorry, I couldn't stop, I'm so sorry," she babbles in his ear, wrapping trembling arms around his shoulders.

Silently, James pulls her in closer, holding her tightly as he feels himself collapse in relief.

"We're gonna be okay," he whispers in her hair. "You'll see, we'll be just fine."