gleefanficfan – Sorry for the delay. Work has been a little crazy and got a little in the way, plus a visit from mom, but I am back – I hope it was worth the wait. Thank you for your patience and your review.
Scout88 – Wow 2 reviews! Thank you so much. Quinn is making nice memories with the Corcorans – she has been through so much and unfortunately she has to relearn even the basic things. Noah will be more responsible when picking out a college. You will see who and how they will testify in the trial but it will be hard either way. I am so happy that you can picture the Corcorans as older because maybe you will enjoy the sequel that I have planned. Thanks again for the reviews.
cabotbensonnovak4evr – thank you so much for the review and your patience.
UnicornsAndRainbows20089 – Here it is – thanks for waiting. And the constant state of grounding is addressed.
Guest – Wow – sorry about that – I hope you got your rest. Thank you for sticking with the story.
thelastcenturian – Thanks for catching up! Thank you for the review.
Tappers – Sorry if you think Shelby is overbearing – she is doing it to protect Quinn – so far Quinn has been being very self destructive when she is left on her own and as a parent Shelby cannot trust her right now. But you are correct Quinn may blow sometime soon. Thanks for your review.
OTHangels – Thank you
NayaFan – Thank you so much for your reviews. I am humbled by your praise. I sometimes do worry about the pace of the story but sometimes I feel the need to put in scenes and not overlook things I think are important. So thank you so much for letting me know the pace is good. So many reviews – I am so glad that you are enjoying this story. But please remember to sleep! I love writing little Santana and little Rachel.
Thewaspscankles – Thank you so much for your understanding with my updates. Sometimes life does get in the way and I want to write so badly but I either don't have the time or I do but I don't have the focus, so thank you for your understanding. And yes I did understand your review. Keep them coming.
alopez208 – I personally hate the long time before the updates but I am a bit of a perfectionist and I will not put an update out there if I don't think it is up to par. I hope you enjoy this one. Thank you for your review.
Lolathe17th – Quinn is progressing but she will indeed have setbacks because it is inevitable with the trial coming up. I am glad you are also enjoying the lighter side of things. Sometimes those are harder to write. Thank you for your review.
Sarah11650 – I am glad you do! Me too! Thanks for the review.
sleaglee – Sorry for the wait. Hope you like it – Thanks for the review.
Ryoko05- Thank you so much for the review. I hope you like this chapter.
Guest - I hope you like the Christmas chapter too. The kids all have such different emotions for the same situations and I am so glad that you think I capture them correctly. I appreciate your review.
Renata – Hi Ms Brazil. Bear will be in it soon enough. There is a big trial coming up and he is definitely around for the holidays. I am not sure any of the kids are reaching closure yet. They have come so far but they still have so much further to go. Thank you so much for calling my work amazing. I am so happy you are still enjoying it.
Abbie – I am not a fan of doctors offices but I will say that I tolerate them better than one of my beta's does. She can barely go – Shelby is a super woman but she does have cracks she just doesn't show them very much. Thanks for the review.
Cookie07 – Sex for Santana and all the girls is VERY confusing. She slept with the boys for a number of reasons and while the first time was uncomfortable there were other times when her body enjoyed the experience if you know what I mean. They will all continue to work on their sexual experiences so they can move forward. Thank you for the review.
JWilson18 – The holidays will be a mixture of fun and confusion for some. Thank you so much for the review.
blueashke Santana's issues with be addressed more and more. She has not really addressed everything and it will start to come out more and more. Thank you for your review.
marinka4 – The trial is right around the corner and is going to create a lot of angst. Will they survive it ….that will be the question. Thank you for reviewing.
NinjaGleek21 – Thank you for the cookies – the trial will be tough for all. Thank you for reviewing.
croque – So glad you reviewed.
TommyH – as always – thank you for the review and I am glad you love Noah and Rachel.
A/N: I can't say sorry enough for the delay. It's shorter than I anticipated. I didn't get to the holidays. I'm sorry. I hope you like it.
Chapter 59
Santana twirled her fork in her hand as she picked at her breakfast. She wasn't in her uniform. She wasn't going to be head cheerleader anymore. She wasn't going to have control of the school or feel that surge of adrenaline. She stared down at her food. Shouldn't she be more upset? She hated that she didn't care more. She should care shouldn't she?
"Santana, don't pick at your food," Shelby called from across the room.
"I'm not," she lied.
"Who do you think she'll make head cheerleader now that we don't go there anymore?" Santana asked Quinn who was sketching in her notebook more than eating her food.
"What?"
"Cheerios," Santana said annoyed.
"Gimme a break," Quinn said with a sigh as she reached to take a drink of her juice. "You and I never cared about Cheerios. It was just a substitute, a distraction. You care about winning and you care about the power but you don't really care about Cheerios. You just liked it because it came in with built-in friends."
"Being apart of something special, makes you special," Rachel said simply as if it were a common saying. She looked at her sister expectantly, waiting for her to agree on the philosophy as she ate a bite of toast.
Santana rolled her eyes.
Noah reached for his jacket. "So … am I grounded or can I drive myself to school? I can't really remember."
"You and what car?" Joey asked.
"Why isn't he getting pulled from school?" Rachel asked. "If it's dangerous for the girls isn't it dangerous for him? Mumma, that's sexism," Rachel said with a tiny glare of disapproval.
"It's not dangerous for us," Santana said slightly offended as she finally soaked in Rachel's words and realized that her brother was still at McKinley.
"But I thought," Rachel began.
"Why would you think that?" Quinn interjected.
"I'm fine at school, bug. I actually stay in it," Noah said simultaneously.
"But seriously, I don't get it," Rachel stated interrupting the conversation. "Why isn't he pulled from school?"
"Something to think about, Noah. You and I need to take a trip to look at schools." Shelby said with a nod of her head as she talked over the kids.
"He has football, Rach," Quinn said quietly. "He needs organized aggression. Plus he needs to get into a school."
"Hey!" Noah said with a frown. He turned to his mother with a sigh. "Rachel, already decided. I'm going to Penn State."
"Well, that's ironic," Joey scoffed only to have Shelby hit her in the gut.
"What is?" Rachel asked.
"Nothing," Shelby stated, glaring at Joey before she turned back to her son. "Noah, you're not going to Penn State because their football program is suspended. Do you mean U Penn?"
"Yeah...I guess," he muttered. "Whatever really."
"I'll take you to school. Let's go," Joey called as she walked out of the house.
"Have you ever wondered if three out of the four of us were pulled from school that it's not the school's fault, that maybe it's us?" Quinn asked with a frown.
Rachel looked up at her and then over at Santana and then their mother for a sure answer.
"It's not us," Shelby said simply. Santana and Quinn arched their brows. "Okay, it might be but you're not doing anything wrong. Girls, eat up. Holly will be here any minute."
"But why?" Rachel asked.
"Why what?" Shelby asked. The girls were still looking at her patiently. "I need you all to concentrate and you couldn't at your school and both Quinn and San have a little problem staying put in school. Now finish up. Elyse will also be coming over too. I expect a productive time with Holly."
"Why?" Santana asked.
"Because you have an appointment," Shelby said. "Enough with the questions, girls. Finish up."
A few hours later, Shelby was watching the girls from the kitchen as they worked with Holly when there was a knock at the back door. She turned and opened the door for Elyse.
"Hi," she smiled. "They're just finishing up."
"Are they behaving themselves?" Elyse asked with a chuckle
"For the most part, but Sugar isn't here today. She's home with the flu. So that might be a part of it," Shelby smiled.
"So I talked with Alicia and I received a copy of the report from the court-appointed therapist," Elyse said quietly.
"And?"
"Quinn most likely will be testifying. I think it'll be tough because they're going to try to discredit her... and I'm not sure how. Rachel will have a hard time on the stand either way. I know that Alicia is coming over but I think there is only so much I can help these girls prepare for this trial. We might just simply need to focus on damage control," she said honestly. "We're very limited on what we can do to prepare them. It's going to be hard. Unquestionably. I have no doubt that they're going to have a hard time."
"Yeah," Shelby sighed and combed her hand through her hair, trying her best not to let her skin crawl with that feeling that had been lingering for days: Dread. "Okay. Do you have any other concerns?"
"Always do," she said with a smile. "What else are you worried about?"
"Well, the holidays of course. Santana bites like she's a starved anaconda. It was her father's favorite holiday. She tries to make it really special for Rachel. Beware. Plus now that I've pulled her from school, beware."
The woman laughed. "Good to know."
"What are you doing here?" Rachel asked as she walked into the room.
"Why else would she be here?" Santana asked with a frown.
"Santana, please be the child I love," Shelby stated as she reached out and absently kissed Quinn on the top of her head. "Did you have a good session with Holly?"
Rachel nodded and leaned back against Santana. "I like having you here," she whispered.
Santana gave a small smile and pulled Rachel close, kissing her softly on the temple, but not responding.
Elyse felt the slight tension in the room. "Okay," she smiled. "Who's first?"
…
Rachel watched Santana carefully as she came out of the study. Santana had actually consented to going first and she came out very quietly. For her entire life, Rachel had known that Santana's faroff silence usually meant that Santana's thoughts were so loud she had to listen to them. She frowned. Santana wasn't crazy. She made a mental note never to tell anyone that her sister's thoughts were so loud that she sometimes became silence.
Quinn stood from Rachel's side and went into the study. Rachel sat closer to Santana as the older girl sat down heavily on the couch.
"What's wrong?" Rachel asked quietly.
Santana looked at her, slightly startled as if she hadn't seen her there. "Nothing," she laughed awkwardly.
"You seem far away," Rachel said with a bite of her lip. "That usually means you're in your head because something is wrong."
"Nothing's wrong," Santana said with a weak smile. She turned and locked eyes with Rachel. "Honestly."
"Liar," Rachel sighed looking down at her hands. "I … wish..."
"You wish what?" Santana asked.
"I wish we could talk how we used to," she muttered. "... I think ….. I wish that you would believe that we'll be okay."
"We are okay, Rachel," she said with a frown and a slight shake of her head. "You're safe. I'm safe. We're... We're just fine. I will never let anything happen to you."
"That's not your job," she said quietly squinting her eyes with a heavy sigh. Santana searched Rachel's face Rachel's entire body seemed to radiate with careful, pensive preparation.. "I …. I think …. I believe that we can live happily ever after." She looked up sharply at Santana. "I know … I know you don't believe that, but...I think we can be okay if we try." She balled her fists and hit her thighs with them. "We have to try."
Santana frowned and took Rachel's fists in her hands. She kissed them softly. "I promise we will try."
Rachel shifted on the couch and turned to look at her with pleading eyes. "You have to mean that. You have to mean that with every fiber of your being," Rachel said with slow annunciation as her voice dripped with desperate need and wistful hope. "You have to mean it."
"I don't know what else you want me to say," Santana said with a tiny smile. "I don't know what you mean. I'm not lying to you, Rach. I will try." She paused and bit her lip before taking a slow breath and swallowing slowly. "I always am."
"No," Rachel practically whined. She shifted and put her hands on her sister's face, cupping her cheeks. Santana wasn't sure where Rachel had learned to do that but she had always done it as a strange sign of affection and a plea to make sure that the person she was talking to was listening to her, really listening. "You have to want it. You have to want to not be angry. You have to want your happily ever after."
Santana stared back at her. She put her hand over Rachel's tiny hand on her own cheek. "I promise you that I'll always be here for you."
"i want you to be there for you first," she said leaning against her and looking up at her. "Please. Please do this for me. Please try. Stop doing this for me . If I am supposed to do it for me then you have to do it for you. Remember?"
Santana searched her eyes. "Remember what?" she asked with a sigh.
"I go. You go," Rachel whispered. "When I was little you said, you go, I go. You said that with everything. Remember? I wasn't hungry at the home with the name on my door. And you told me, I go, you go. And I sat in the chair and that's how we ate. Remember?"
"Yeah," she said tearfully as she felt a wave of emotions of the memories of that time flooded back to her.. "You didn't want to eat anything so … they let me sit with you in the cafeteria... and eat with you because that was the only way that you ate. I would take a bite and then you took a bite. And …. then that's how we did it after that." She traced the back of Rachel's hand and pulled her closer.
Rachel squeezed her hand back. "I go. You go," she said leaning back. "You gotta try. If you don't try... then... how will I know it's my turn?" She moved closer into her sister's check. "You have to go before I can go."
"You can always go first," Santana whispered wrapping her arms around her.
"I can't," Rachel whispered.
Santana rested her chin on the top of Rachel's head. "Why not?"
"Because how will I know if I can?" she muttered.
Santana was quiet and then looked at her quietly. "You are the strongest person I know."
"You're the strongest person I know," Rachel giggled. She squeezed Santana's hand. "You know that."
Santana chuckled but remained silent
"You'll try," Rachel said with a nod. "We'll be okay and be grown up and whole and happy. You go and then I'll go."
Santana pulled her closer and hugged her closer. She took a deep breath and "I promise you I will try and you promise me you will try and together we will make sure Quinn tries, too."
"Yeah?"
The older girl nodded. "Yeah..."
A silence fell over them.
"You really promise that you'll try. You seem … you seem so angry and sad and far away and I'm scared that you won't try... that you'll just... you'll leave." She stopped herself once Santana opened her mouth to interrupt. "Not go away but you'll... go... somewhere else in your head. You sat in the tree house all by yourself. Will you tell me what you're thinking?"
Santana looked at her for a moment, unsure what to say.
"Is it because you're remembering too?" she asked.
"No," Santana said tightly. "I'm just... Rachel, I promise we'll figure this out. I promise we'll get through this and I promise we'll try."
"But-" Rachel started.
"No," Santana said softly. "No, buts."
Rachel giggled. "Butt." She frowned. "Can we watch Finding Nemo?"
Santana rolled her eyes. "Yeah."
An hour later, Rachel was still very much in her head. She swung her legs from where she sat. She was happy about Santana. She was happy because Santana said that she would try. Santana would try and she would make it. The trial would just be like a big therapy session, she told herself.
"Rachel, did you hear me?"
She looked up at the woman. "No," she said quietly.
"I asked you about your meeting with the court-appointed therapist and if it was okay."
Elyse looked at Rachel carefully and for the first time, Rachel saw something that she hadn't seen before. She saw worry and concern.
"You can't look at me like that," she said.
"Why not?"
"Because everyone looks at me like that," she said quietly. "We're going to make it. We're going to be fine. Testifying is going to be easy..." Elyse looked at her with an arch of her brow. "Okay... not easy... but we'll be fine." She straightened. "I know we will be."
Elyse watched her carefully. "You will be."
….
Shelby watched her girls curl up on the couch as they watched the movie.
"Girls, you know you're grounded, right?"
"Mumma, we have to see if they find Nemo … we haven't even gotten to the point where they're at the initiation," Rachel whined.
"You're still grounded," Shelby sighed knowing that she was being a softy but knew that she didn't have it in her to turn off the movie especially since she was pretty sure that she had seen Santana and Quinn laugh at least once.
Elyse sat her bag on the counter.
"How'd it go?"
"Santana only put two dollars in the swear jar," she said quietly. "They all certainly have a long way to go. Quinn is talking more and Santana is talking more …. And Rachel is almost back to her old self."
"Then... What's going on?" Shelby asked as she offered the woman a glass of water.
"What isn't there? This trial could potentially ruin them. Quinn gets to a certain point and gets very very defensive and she needs to get past that and we have to push her past that for the case to be successful. No matter what they try to use. Her hiding things will make it worse for her in the long run... And Rachel isn't talking... not like how she used to. Not honestly. When I say her old self I mean, I don't mean organically. I'm scared that this trial will cause irreparable damage."
"We'll fix it. It's not something that will defeat them," she said with a heavy sigh and a nod as if she were convincing herself. She met Elyse's eyes with a new determination. "And they can't have their therapist thinking that," she stated with a quiet urgency.
"We can't predict what will happen, but we have to accept the possibility that what I have to offer... what you have to offer... might not be enough." Santana looked up at her with an intense gaze. "And I'm fearful that Santana might lose it-"
"What?" Shelby practically hissed. "I know my daughter and -"
"Then you should know that this trial could be catastrophic for not just Rachel and Quinn but for Santana and Noah. I might not be able to help her-"
"We will manage," Shelby hissed pulling Elyse into the back room away from the girls.
"You're not listening to me," Elyse stated. "You and I have been in this field for a long time. I can see how much this trial is upsetting you. You have so many tools at your disposal but your children-"
"What? My children what?" she snapped.
"They don't have those same skills," she said in the same measured tone.
"Shut up," she said haughtily. "My kids have spent their entire lives proving idiots like you wrong. You're not the first to think that they can't or won't make it."
"That's not what I said, Shelby," she said calmly. "What I'm saying is that we need to be open to all possibilities here."
Shelby narrowed her eyes even more. "Possibilities?"
"We need to evaluate the worst possible scenarios," she said carefully. "There are resources that you haven't taken advantage of yet."
Shelby felt her face fall for a moment just before she hardened it again. "We're not doing that."
"We have some of the best crisis counselors in the area and -"
"I don't think that my kids meet left of care and I'm not committing them to a program like that," she said with a snap.
"Shelby, you know that it's not committing them. The programs that I'm talking about are short-term. Why am I explaining this to you? You know all of this."
Shelby looked carefully into the other room and saw that Rachel was laughing about Mt. Wannahockaloogie and Santana and Quinn were trying to not reveal their smiles. She didn't want to hear this. She couldn't.
The back door opened and Joey came in and frowned at the scene before her as soon as the tension from the argument hit her.
"What's going on?"
Shelby shook her head and looked back at Elyse. "Well, what it sounds like is that if they don't move at the pace you want them to then you're going to walk away."
"What?" Joey asked.
"That's not what I'm saying. I'm saying that we might need to figure out other options. They might need more in the worst case scenario. You know these programs. You know your kids and instead of ignoring the fact that they might have to be in these programs, you should take the time to look to see what's best for-"
"What's best? What worst case scenario?" Joey asked. "What's going on?"
"Keep your voice down," Shelby hissed to both of the women.
"Think about it Shelby. We can't protect them from everything, especially themselves. I'll plan to see the kids next week."
Shelby frowned. "I'll certainly think about it," she said lowly.
Joey and Shelby watched the woman go with a frown. "What the hell is that?"
"I think I might have to find another therapist," Shelby said watching her go. She sighed and turned to her sister. "She thinks that we need to be open to the possibility of putting the kids in a program if things with the trial go as terrible as they could."
Joey narrowed her eyes. "Hospitalize them? Get them more intensive treatment?"
Shelby nodded with a deep sigh and pinched the bridge of her nose. "I can't think about that. I think that she's wrong. You know that they can't …. I already abandoned them once, if I did a short-term that would open up another very huge can of worms that I'm... We're all not ready for that. It's just a possibility. It's not even a given. She's just saying that it might be needed, but she's working with them! Why is she jumping to that? It's like she already has in her head that they aren't going to make it through this. As if she knows... or thinks she knows that they need this... ."
Shelby looked up when she realized her always interrupting sister hadn't interrupted. She took in Joey's face. Her sister was silent and Shelby didn't need Joey to say anything to know what she was thinking; silence was loud enough. Shelby wasn't going to accept this now. She wasn't going to be ready for that. She waved her sister off as Joey opened her mouth to try to say something.
"Don't," Shelby hissed. "Just don't. I'm going to go sit with my girls. I don't care what you do."
Without giving Joey another opportunity to speak, she walked into the family room.
…
Noah climbed out of the car and looked at his mother. The entire week she had been acting strangely but he couldn't articulate it. Then he had to drive to Ohio State with her for the weekend for his visit. The whole ride she had been acting strangely. He wasn't sure how to ask but now he was sure he just had to rip off the bandaid.
"What's wrong with you?" he asked as he dug his hands into his pockets as they talked toward admissions.
She smiled at him. "Nothing, did you not like the CDs I picked out? I thought that it was a good balance," she said straightening. "Eighties... some sixties with some stuff from now. Plus we listened to what you wanted to listen to."
He arched his brow. "I'm not talking about your music, Ma." He nodded his head in her direction. "I'm talking about this."
"What?" she asked as they neared the buildings.
"You've been doing that thing that you do," he said with a shrug of one shoulder. "You're bubbling."
"Bubbling?" she asked.
"No, that's not right. That movie with Brad Pitt," he said.
"Babel?" Shelby asked.
Noah smiled and nodded. "Yeah, that." He shrugged. "I want to do this, Ma, and you're all acting like I was going to run out of the car every turn we took. You talked the whole way here. …. You talked about the mileage signs... Is this about the trial?"
Shelby smiled at her son. He was a man of few words, but when he had to say a lot, she was reminded about how similar he and Rachel was. She sighed and paused at a bench and sat down.
"Sit with me for a sec," she said gently.
He rolled his eyes. "I don't want to talk about your feelings or mine. I just want to tell you you're babbling."
"When has it ever been as simple as that?" she asked with a smile. She took a deep breath. "I'm sorry that I don't seem like myself."
"So it is the trial?" he asked. She didn't answer right away. "Or is it that you think San is going to blow?
She looked at him in surprise. "What?"
"Sometimes I look at her and I feel like I'm in a horror movie... Like right before the monster comes out and the monster doesn't come out," he said with a pensive frown.
She looked at her son with a frown. "Those are thoughts that you should bare careful to say out loud. You haven't told your sister that have you?"
"I have three sisters," he said with a brow arch. "I know exactly what to say to piss them off and I know telling Santana that her face reminds me of a horror movie is one of them."
She laughed. "So true. I am so excited that you want to do this, Noah. Maybe I am scared that you'll change your mind and I'll be there the whole time if you do and -"
"I don't want you to," he said looking at her with an awkward half smile. "I don't want you to hold my hand during college, ma. I don't want you to think that...I'm going to fail any second. Look around. All of us could fail any second. No matter how much you love us doesn't make that possibility go away."
"No, I don't think you're going to fail-" she began.
"But you've never really given me a chance to," he said quietly, more to himself than anything else. He shrugged. "I don't know if this school is for me but... I want to do this... I don't... I don't need you to tell me that you'll help me find a tutor or … whatever when I fail a class... That's my responsibility." He looked around. "I hear that they have other kids teach you in college," he smiled. "Usually girls."
"Noah," she warned.
"Rach is right, ma," he said. "How are we going to ever get it right if we don't try? If we can all stand on our own two feet without …. carrying each other over the finish line... You know? Does that make sense?" He searched her eyes. "Gotta let us figure it out."
She leaned back and stared at the sky for a moment before answering. "You're right," she said quietly.
"I am?"
"Yeah," she nodded. "I don't give you as much credit as you deserve."
"I can do this, Mom, and you give me plenty of credit you just don't let me do it," he laughed. "But I don't think that I ever wanted to try to...But Rachel's right we can't be old and thirty and living in the same house."
"Thirty isn't old, Noah," she said.
"To you it isn't. To me it is," he said.
She sighed and leaned back. "True."
"You deserve to be happy, you know," he said. "We want you to be."
She frowned. "I am happy."
He tilted his head and rolled his and nodded as if the words were going to come to him but he didn't want to say them once they did. "You know... Happy...Happy... Happy... you know... HAPPY."
"Happy?" she asked. Noah widened his eyes as if he needed his mother to get it. Her eyes widened.
"We all know... it's been awhile, Mom," he said carefully.
She waved her hands. "We are not talking about how long it's been! We are not talking about that at all! While you may be barely an adult, we are not having that conversation. Not now. Not ever."
"I just... Ma, I want you to be happy."
She smiled. "I know you do but," she said letting the smile fall from her face. "Talking about my sex life with my children does not make me happy."
"Doesn't make me happy either," he grinned. "Just... let yourself be happy, okay?" he shrugged. "You do everything for us. You're taking me to look for schools. You drive us to appointments and stuff. I just … I don't want you to end up alone like the lady on that commercial who falls and can't get up."
Shelby looked at her son. "Thanks, bud. I don't want to be alone either... but … I don't also want to put a lot of effort into a relationship right now..." She sighed and clapped her hands. "We are here for you, okay? Let's do a tour. We're meeting the recruiter and you're going to be smoozed by a football player who's also going to show you around." She raised her eyebrow. "Please make good choices."
He nodded. "I will... What are you going to do?"
"Probably go to the campus coffee shop and eavesdrop," she shrugged.
"Will you be okay?" he asked.
She nodded and smiled at him gently as they walked into the athletic center. "I'll be fine."
….
Shelby pulled up to the house and Noah practically leapt out. He had been talking for almost the last half an hour about needing to go number two. She rolled her eyes as he ran into the house. The rest of the weekend had been a bit hectic. Noah had a tour of the school. He met with the athletic director. He shadowed a student. He slept in the dorm and then he even attended a practice of the freshman team. And Shelby was so grateful that he actually appeared to enjoy it. Somehow even though Noah had done all the work, she was still exhausted. Perhaps it was to do with the fact that for most of the weekend she kept thinking about scenarios adorned in bad choices of others and possibly also her son. She kept thinking of how her son as well as a lot of other people's children would be unsupervised with alcohol, parties and girls. She sighed as she pulled her bag from the back. She decided to make her son come back and haul his things into the house. He needed to be responsible for that. She would give him until dinner to see if he would remember without a reminder.
She paused as she entered the house. Soon this home would no longer by Noah's. She shook her head. It would always be Noah's but it wouldn't be his in the same way it was now. It would be different. It wouldn't be the same ever again.
"Mom!"
Shelby felt a pair of arms wrap around her. She smiled and set down her bag as she hugged with one arm.
"Hey, Rach," she smiled.
"Rachel?" Holly called from the kitchen.
Shelby arched her brow. "Rach, are you supposed to be doing work?" Rachel's eyes darted as if she was pretending that she wasn't doing anything wrong. "Rachel, have you been listening to Holly today?"
"Yeah..." she mumbled.
"Rachel," Shelby said as she brought the girl's gaze up to her eyes by lifting her chin.
"Can't I say hi to you?" she asked quietly.
"You can, but you probably saw me pull into the driveway right?" Shelby asked. Rachel gave a small nod. "And I bet Miss Holly asked you to finish the test that I know that you have today. Did you finish?"
"No..." Rachel mumbled.
"Go in there and finish your test please," she said kissing her gently on forehead. "I love you but you need to listen. This is still home, but it's also school and it needs the same respect of any other school."
Rachel frowned and grumbled under her breath.
"What was that?" Shelby called.
"Nothing," Rachel mumbled.
They walked into the kitchen. Holly looked up and walked over to Shelby and talked quietly to Rachel about continuing with her test. Shelby looked up and saw that Santana and Quinn were whispering to each other as they wrote. Shelby reached across the table and took both of the girls' tests.
"We do not cheat in this house," Shelby scolded.
"We can't cheat, Mom," Santana argued. "Holly makes the tests different so we can't cheat."
"Miss Holly, Santana," Shelby corrected.
"Why are we calling her Miss Holly?" Santana asked.
"Because apparently the two of you are very disrespectful. The tests are still on the same subject and the two of you are helping each other. That is still known as cheating. You need to try to earn Miss Holly's respect back," she stated.
Holly lifted her finger up. "Actually, Holly is fine. Respect does need to be earned but I don't... Holly's fine,"
Shelby frowned. "Okay, but girls... This is unacceptable."
"It's not like you can ground us anymore," Quinn said. "We're in a permanent state of ground-"
"Shut up," Santana hissed lowly.
Shelby folded her arms and arched her brow. "You'd be surprised."
….
Quinn stared down at her cast. Was it really time to get it off? Noah had been talking about college like he was an expert. Quinn hadn't realized how much time has past until she heard him comparing three college visits he had gone on in the last couple weeks. She hadn't realize what a non-bullshiter Noah was. He had this strange way of reading people and if they smoozed him in a way he didn't like he crossed them off his list. Quinn couldn't help but think that because she and Santana were no longer on cheerios they wouldn't experience that. She should live more vicariously through him, especially since she and Santana had been cleaning and recleaning everything in the house down to the last window sill.
"What's the first thing you're going to do once you get it off?" Rachel asked her from her side. Quinn noted that she too had been oddly chipper recently.
Quinn stared down at Rachel with a heavy sigh. "I don't know. What's up with you?"
"What do you mean?" Rachel asked immediately looking away and concentrating with great detail on the cloth napkin in her lap.
"You're sitting here all... I don't know... you're … happy," Quinn stated.
"What? that's good isn't it?"
"But it doesn't feel like you're real... it feels like you're playing dress-up," she sneered.
"Why are you being so mean?" she asked quietly
"What's going on?" Shelby asked as she pulled on her jacket.
"Nothing," Rachel muttered.
Quinn stared down at her. There was so much on the tip of her tongue and caught in her throat that she wouldn't explain … that she couldn't possibly explain. She had been so ready to get the cast off. However, now with the holidays, the end of the year and the trial coming up it felt as if her life was just continuing to mock her. While Rachel was trying her best to be happy, Quinn felt as if she was barely holding her head up. And she couldn't explain it to herself let alone anyone else.
Quinn leaned down and kissed her softly on the temple. "I'm sorry I'm grumpy and I took it out on you," she whispered.
"I know," Rachel said back still quietly. "I'm trying to be happy."
Quinn sighed. "Don't try so hard."
"I .. I just thought you'd be happy," Rachel said softly. "You've been so surly this week. You don't have to be. You can just say what you're thinking … what you're feeling."
"Rach, we practically live in therapy. Do you think if I could easily express what I was feeling, I would still be going to therapy?"
"Touche," Rachel mumbled. She looked up at her mother. "Can I come too? I want to see it come off."
Shelby smiled but shook her head. "No, Rach," she said quietly. "Girls, I am going to be talking to Holly about your work. I don't want you to think you can take it easy now that you are home.-"
"What easy way?" Santana sighed.
Shelby narrowed her eyes. "You and Quinn pulling the stunts you've been pulling is going to stop. Quinn I want those extra history reports done"
Quinn narrowed her eyes. "Why?"
"Because the two of you have been slacking and -" Shelby began.
"No, why do I have to do extra projects?" she asked.
"We will talk about it in the car," Shelby stated. "We're running late."
"No, I want to know," Quinn said aggressively. "You can't instill respect with Mr. Clean."
"You're right. Maybe I can't. If you and Santana draft a new plan for how you two should be punished, I'll consider it."
Santana perked up. "What? Really?"
Shelby nodded as she handed Quinn her coat. "Yes," she said. "Now. Let's go."
….
Quinn wasn't sure exactly what she was expecting by the way they took off the cast but it was certainly less exhilarating as when she sawed of the cast herself. She stared down at the now naked arm as they drove away from the doctor's office. She was exhausted and she hated this. She wanted this cast off for so long. Now, she had it off and she felt a surge of emotions. It was the heavy cast that she wanted off because she hoped that she would never be reminded of how she received it, but now that it was off...it was all she could think about. She could hear Rachel crying in the car. She could feel herself hanging upside down. She could feel the ugly hospital gown that she had to wear. She could feel it all more than she could before. She hated it. She hated all of it
The car stopped.
She looked around. They were in a parking lot.
"What are we doing here?" She looked over to the store, an art store. "We don't need anything here."
"You might if we go look," Shelby said kindly.
"Do you remember that I'm drafting a punishment proposal when I get home? I'm grounded. I don't get it." Quinn looked back down at her naked arm. "You shouldn't give me anything."
"Why not?"
"Because I... I had a cast removed that I got from an accident. An accident that totalled Noah's car that I stole, that cost Rachel her kidney-"
"And you your spleen," Shelby said. She turned to her in the car. "Quinn, that accident wasn't your fault."
"Maybe not completely, but I was a part of it. I was driving. If we had stayed at school. If I had gotten San and Noah then... then we wouldn't have gone through any of that."
"Maybe," Shelby replied simply. "But we can't go back and change anything."
"I know that," she whispered.
"I know you do," Shelby continued. "But I also am completely sure that you are not to blame. No one in this family blames you for any of that. You're the hero in this story, Quinn."
"I don't feel like it. You shouldn't say that... I didn't save her... I'm the one who left her with him to begin with and..." She trailed off as she shook her head angrily at herself.
"Quinn, you did the best that you could and your best is good enough," Shelby stated.
"It never feels like it," she mumbled.
Shelby smiled. "Well, that's why I'm here: To remind you that it is." She took a deep breath and smiled at her. "I never expect you to be perfect, Quinn. I expect you to be you."
"I know," she muttered. Quinn ran her fingers down her newly exposed arm. "But I don't know who that is."
"I'm still figuring out me," Shelby said. "It's a process."
"I know. I know.. . 'Life's just a work in progress.' You tell us that all the time and I feel like it would mean more if one of us actually believed it."
"We all have things to work on, Quinn. Just because you're in trouble for something doesn't mean you're not still a good person." Quinn nodded, but didn't say anything. "And you are, Q-bear. You're a great person."
Quinn didn't want to listen to this anymore. In the grand scheme of things, when people were separated between good and bad … she never knew where the fell. She always knew better and worse people. She was in the "other." category.
"So... You're giving me a thanks-for-not-sawing-off-your-cast present?"
"Think of it as a celebratory gift for getting the cast off," Shelby said with smirk.
"Why are you doing this?" Quinn asked.
"Because you deserved a little something for being so great." she answered simply.
Quinn looked back at her silently and shook her head slightly. "I don't... I don't get it... You never give me gifts."
"Doesn't mean you don't deserve one," Shelby said trying her best to understand.
"I don't... I don't want it..." she said quickly.
Shelby searched her face. "Can I ask why?"
"I know... I know... it's rude not to accept gifts but... I just... I … I'm sorry. I can't..."
"Quinn, it's something small," she said slightly confused. "Even if you had put up a fight every single day about the cast, I would still be buy you something."
Quinn shook her head. "You don't... I don't want it. I can't accept your gifts. Even for Christmas... I know it might be awkward, but I.. can't."
"Can I ask you why?" The mother repeated.
"I don't have anything to give in return," she said trying to harden her features so her face couldn't be read.
Shelby searched the young girl's face. She was sifting through her memory for clues. Fabrays. Gifts. Giving. The Fabrays wouldn't give Quinn gifts-she paused. Quinn had a car. She had nice things. She had clothes. All of which were reclaimed when Shelby took custody of her. She felt a pain explode in her chest at understanding.
"Your father gave you gifts," Shelby said carefully.
Quinn gave a weak nod. Shelby was expecting more silence, but the young girl continued. "My father used to give me gifts...after...I used to think that he was sorry. That he regretted it and was buying me stuff because he felt ... bad... but after he and I ... you know... after the first time...he bought me a car. I remember realizing when I saw that car that he wasn't buying my forgiveness... he was buying my silence." Quinn traced her arm again with her fingers. "I don't know how you imagine what my Christmas was like. I still received what I needed. I'm not one of those people who will cry over pencils or gifts that shouldn't be gifts. I had what I needed so I didn't stick out like a loser." She caught Shelby's eyes quickly but then looked away. "Christmas was the Lord's day. We went to church. We came home. That's it. I received what I needed throughout the year. But gifts," she continued. "Real gifts... were only given when something was required in return."
Shelby took a deep breath and turned to Quinn in her seat. "You're not required to give me anything in return. Ever."
Quinn sat there for a moment and was looking at Shelby with thoughtful eyes and the older woman realized that Quinn wasn't really looking at Shelby. Quinn was thinking. She was remembering something.
"What?" Shelby asked.
"My grandmother gave me a doll once," she said still looking past Shelby. "Her name was Winifred. She was from a special collection of dolls and I was supposed to be grateful to have her. And I was... very much... but I was also eight and... I wanted to play with her." The blonde took a deep breath. "Gifts are not meant to be enjoyed. They're supposed to be practical and serve a purpose … I don't want a gift from you..." she finished with a whisper.
Shelby took her hand. "The reason why I would give you something was because I wanted to. I don't want anything in return." She gave a small smirk. "I guarantee that one of these Christmases or Birthdays you'll hate what I give you, but you won't know now to say it.-"
"I wouldn't," Quinn interrupted.
"I know, but the point is Quinn, I will always give you things whether it be a trip to this art store or a new clothes or new shoes... I give you things not to prove my love or guilt you or silence you. I give them because I love you. So proudly so. Nothing more and nothing less."
"I.. just... I don't... I don't know... it's weird to get something from you. I c-c-can't," she shrugged. "I get that you want to give it. And I hate that I can't accept it, but... I … I don't know."
Shelby took a deep breath. "Okay," she nodded. "I can get that."
"Do you?" she asked quietly. "I don't know..."
"So you want to receive gifts but they have a bad association?" Shelby asked. Quinn nodded. "Well...why don't we start small." Quinn looked up at her with a frown. "You're picking it out anyway."
"But you're buying it..." Quinn said again.
"But you're choosing it," she said. "So … hypothetically, you can go into that store and buy the cheapest, smallest gift. I want this to mean what you want it to mean to you. We can't control me giving you gifts. Simply because you're my daughter and it's an inevitability. But... we can control the process in which you begin to receive them."
Quinn looked at her with a frown; she would try another approach. "What if I go in there and demand the most expensive item? Or worse, break it?"
"Then we would figure out a consequence for that behavior, but you're still leaving here with a gift," Shelby said with a soft smirk. "Also," she continued with a tender smile. "Christmas is coming and now I plan to find the best possible gifts for you." She let her smile fade. "I know that it might seem that I'm not really respecting your past … I guess ... relationship with gifts. but … It's just not something that I'm willing to sacrifice."
"I don't want you to," she muttered. "I ..just... I can't accept them," she bit her lip. "I don't know how. I just … Plus... even if i did. I have nothing to give in return and..." she trailed off. "You know that I would give you the world if I could. I can never repay you."
Shelby nodded. "Well, why don't we do this. There's a big box out in the garage. Huge," she added with a smirk and wide eyes. "That will be your box. We'll move it to somewhere in the house. Maybe your room... or somewhere. We'll figure it out and … Every gift that you're not ready to accept can go in there And you will remember that I don't want anything in return and that no matter what I'll keep giving you something."
Quinn bit her lip. " I want you to pick it out," she muttered. "I want the first gift that you give me be one that you pick out."
Shelby took her hand. "Let's do it together."
Quinn nodded and gave a soft smile. "Okay."
….
Santana was at her wit's end. There was no avoiding it. She was going to kill her. She glared at her. 'Yup, she was going to kill her.
"Santana? Santana? Santana?"
Santana glared at Holly. She blamed that woman for bringing Sugar back. She had been grateful for when Sugar was gone a few weeks ago with the plague. Never before did Santana wish the plague on anyone. However, after being schoolless for a few weeks and with the impending trial and even worse with Christmas coming, she couldn't deal with Sugar. She would rather battle an angry mother bear. However, she bit her lip, because she knew that's exactly what she would dealing with if she executed her plan for Sugar which right now included an ax and lighter fluid. She decided to blame Quinn. It had been easier when Quinn was there. Santana would have gladly chopped off Quinn's cast herself so that she didn't have to spend time with Sugar alone.
"What?" she snapped.
"San," Rachel said quietly.
Santana snapped her head to Rachel. She pointed in the most unsubtle way at Sugar as if the girl's lone existence was the cause of every terror in the world.
"Santana," Rachel said again.
The older girl gave a groan and a sigh and turned to Holly. "What?"
"No, need to be rude, just because you aren't as smart as me," Sugar said. "Just admit it." She paused for a second. "You're wrong. You're wrong. Say it. YOU'RE WRONG!"
Santana couldn't remember what they were arguing before. She only vaguely remembered that she was asked to complete the question. They had been playing a "fun" game of jeopardy. Somehow. Holly had managed to set up a game for all three of them that asked them questions that only pertain to the subjects that she was learning. However, Santana couldn't see the effort that Holly was putting into it. Now, all she could see was a woman who was trying to unite things that couldn't be brought together.
"SHUT UP!" Santana screeched. "Why are you even here? Don't you go to school?"
Sugar straightened and smirked with pride. "I can do what I want! My daddy lets me do anything and I am too good for school. My talent is -"
"UGH!" Santana screamed slamming her hands on the counter.
Holly met the girl's glare and sighed. Helen had returned back to the crazy Corcoran house a few days ago, but stepped out to run to the store. Holly was the adult here.
"Rachel, Sugar, go into the other room and work on your reading assignments," Holly said.
"Aunt Holly, San-TANA started that! We can't help that she's a poor LOSER and that she's WRONG!"
"Sugar, there's no need to emphasize any of that. Everyone is wrong -"
"I'm never wrong," Sugar said as she crossed her arms.
Santana snapped her gaze toward the girl, but Holly interjected before the girl could protest. "Other room, girls."
Rachel slipped off of her chair and followed her huffing classmate toward the living room. She paused and went back to her sister. She gripped her hand to gether her attention because her sister was still glaring ahead. She gave the hand a little tug and Santana looked down at her with a questioningly look.
"Just... remember what we talked about? Remember?" She looked back at her sister's blank stare. It was a few weeks ago … but still her sister always remembered.
"What?" Santana asked shooting a glare past Rachel at Sugar and then another at Holly.
"Nevermind..." Rachel mumbled as she walked past Sugar and into the other room as she sat heavily on the couch.
"What's your problem?" Sugar asked as she sat next to her.
"Nothing," she muttered.
"We're friends, remember? But you don't really act like it anymore since your sisters joined," she said. "You don't act like it at all."
Rachel narrowed her eyes. "Well, sorrryy," she said with an absence of any genuine remorse.
"You're not sorry," Sugar stated. "Just like you weren't sorry when you broke all of those plates. remember when you did that?"
Rachel looked at her with a frown. "Yeah," she hissed back.
"Because sometime people act like you never did," Sugar leaned forward more. She whispered quietly. "People are still giving you plates." she put her hands in her air. "Why would anyone give you anything breakable?" She looked around the living room. "Look at all this stuff on the walls and on your shelves. Pictures. Things. Lots of breakable things." Sugar pointed with her thumb over her shoulder. "And your sisters. I'm sure THEY break things all of the time."
Rachel slowly looked up her with a frown. She could hear voices rising in the kitchen. She stood and looked at at her sister from the other room.
"I don't care if she's a your niece!" Santana yelled. "I don't care if she's the damn Queen of fucking England!"
Rachel heard papers crash to the floor in the kitchen. She could see an outline of her sister. Her sister had forgotten. She had forgotten to believe in their happily ever afters.
"I mean, why isn't your mom thinking about doing taking down these things. OR," Sugar said. "Wrapping them in bubble wrap." The girl smiled. "What would be a good idea."
Rachel felt her breath quicken in her chest. She hated bubble wrap. "We're not friends," Rachel hissed.
"What?" Sugar asked sadly.
"We're not friends! I don't even like you!" she barked turning toward the girl that was suddenly standing too close to her. .
"Take that back!" Sugar snapped tearfully.
"No! You're not my friend! You're not my friend! You're not my friend! You're not my friend! I hate you! I hate you! I hate EVERYTHING about you!" Rachel screamed.
"SHUT UP!" Sugar screamed launching at Rachel pushing them both over the back of the couch.
Rachel pushed at Sugar to get her off of her causing both of them to narrowly miss the coffee table Sugar pushed Rachel back and hit her with the palm of her hand. Rachel groaned in frustration more than pain and yanked Sugar's hair. She heard her brother talk about the importance of hair pulling. Sugar screamed in anguish allowing Rachel to gain the full advantage and push them under the coffee table, but Sugar was bigger. Rachel tried to yank Sugar's hair again but because she was under Sugar and Sugar was under the coffee table. Rachel wanted to beat this girl. She wanted to break every plate in the house in front of Sugar. She wanted to break everything in front of her and make Sugar watch.
"What is going on?!" Shelby asked.
If Rachel could see past Sugar or the coffee table or the couch, she would have seen her mother glaring at her house of chaos and her blond sister trying to hide her snickering.
"This is not funny," Shelby said.
The coffee table was removed; Rachel felt her mother remove Sugar and then pull her up.
"Sit," Shelby stated pointing to one chair. "Sit," she said again pointing to another. She looked at Quinn. "Quinn, this is not funny. Stop laughing."
"I can't help it. I'm sorry," she giggled.
"Then you sit there," Shelby said pointing at the couch. "No talking."
Rachel looked at her hands. The living room suddenly became silent. This was when the house realized the chaos coming from the kitchen. Santana and Holly were still screaming. Rachel then heard her mother scolding Santana. Then she heard her mother call for her.
"Rachel and Santana, I want an apology now."
"I don't need to apologize to you," Rachel said. "I didn't do anything to you." Shelby arched her brow. Rachel shrunk back slightly. "Well... I guess I need to apologize to you now..." she muttered.
"We are going to apologize and then we're going to sit down and talk about this. I want a verbal apology to Holly and Sugar and then we're going to take some time and calm down."
"Sorry," Rachel muttered.
"For?" Shelby pushed.
"Yelling and pulling your niece's hair and telling her that I hated her and that we weren't friends and... wishing that I could hit harder so I could hit her harder."
The taller women in the room slowly looked toward the smaller girl slowly.
"Okay... "Shelby said. "Rachel, you'll need to apologize to Sugar in a moment. Santana?"
"I'm sorry I screamed at you and called you a terrible teacher and told you to shut up... and swore at you... and called you names and... getting aggravated with Sugar, but she's aggravating. Face it."
"Santana, you're apologizing," Shelby commented.
"I'm sorry," she said.
"Apologies accepted," Holly smiled.
"I don't accept them," Sugar said from the doorway.
"I'm still sitting on the couch," Quinn hollered.
Shelby sighed and watched as Rachel repeated her apology to Sugar only to have the girl roll her eyes and Rachel frown with indignation about it.
"We'll see you next time, Holly," Shelby nodded.
"I DON'T look forward to it," Sugar huffed.
Rachel rolled her eyes and unconsciously leaned into Santana who pulled her closely to her side.
"Living room, now," Shelby stated pointing the girls into the living room.
Rachel sat next to Quinn and Santana sandwiched Rachel's other's side feeling slightly out of control and strangely distanced from where she was. Something luckily distracted her.
"What's that?" Santana asked looking at Quinn's hands.
The blonde shrugged. "Nothing."
"You got a gift didn't you?" Rachel asked. "Can I see?"
"No, we bought... it together..." Quinn stumbled.
"What is it?"Santana asked, noticing her discomfort.
"It's … just..." Quinn held up the key chain awardly. "... It's just... this..."
"Why did you get that?" Rachel asked with a frown.
Quinn shrugged a single shoulder. "It seemed too practical to go in the box," she mumbled.
"What box?" Rachel asked.
"Okay, let's talk," Shelby stated sitting in front of them.
"I don't want to talk," Rachel said folding her arms.
"Okay, but I am," Shelby stated. she took a deep breath. "We need to figure something out girls. I get that you're angry and you have every right to be. I get that you don't want to work with Holly and you're struggling to work with Elyse. I know that this is hard and we all know that it might not get better … at least right away." She looked at them carefully. "I know you're trying your best, though and I will always continue to ask that of you."
"Mom, what are you saying?" Santana asked feeling as if this conversation was building in a strange way that she couldn't prepare herself for. She didn't even know how to brace herself for any of this.
"I don't want you to take what I'm going to tell you and bottle it up. Because this isn't a threat or an ultimatum."
"You shouldn't have to disclaim things like that," Rachel whispered.
Shelby rubbed her hands together and licked her lips. "We need to figure out a new system. We need to figure out how to communicate. I don't want you to get so angry you can't breathe... or feel that you can't talk to me because you're afraid of hurting me."
"I don't understand," Quinn said quietly.
"Sometimes, because people love and care about you so much, they can't help you like you need. They can't... help you like..." She sighed. "It's not because you're bad or because I don't love you or anyone in the family doesn't love you enough but …. sometimes is so much bigger than right and wrong."
Rachel chewed her lip as she felt tears well in her eyes. "I don't understand. You don't love us enough?"
"That's not it, Rach. That's not it all," Shelby said hating that she couldn't articulate this right.
"You're saying you might have to send us away... Like Noah... Because no one can fix us here," Santana said slowly with a poor attempt to cover up her heartbreak.
"I have no plans to, San," she whispered softly. She put her hand on her heart as she reached out to the girls. "I will love you all three of you forever." She gave a tearful smile. "You three have made such amazing progress. Bugs you went outside. Sanny, you haven't thrown a lamp in forever. Q-bear, you stepped out of your comfort zones. I will be there for every milestone you make." She watched the girls look away one at a time. She was losing them. "Look at me. Girls, look at me." They slowly met her gaze again. "You are not broken. No one is. You're flawed we make mistakes. Otherwise, we wouldn't be human. I'm asking you to be honest with me."
"I don't want to go away," Rachel said with a hitched breath, causing Quinn to look away and Santana to wipe away a quick tear.
Shelby looked at her children. She saw the panic. She saw that she was rubbing salt in their wounds and she wasn't helping. She wasn't healing she was hurting them more. She had made a mistake. She thought that she would need to be truthful with them. However, these new truths were cultivating more doubt.
"Listen. I love you. All three of you so so much," she said closing her eyes with passion. "I won't abandon you ever."
"Then why are you telling us this?" Quinn said with an expected sob. "I don't understand."
Shelby looked and saw her gripping her key chain with anxiety. She reached out and took her free hand and then looked over at Santana who was just gazing down at her feet.
"No one is going anywhere," Shelby suddenly heard herself say. "I promise."
Santana let out a small sob. "I'm sorry we're so fucked up. I'm sorry that we can't get it right. I just... I 'm sorry I -"
Shelby pulled her to her with her free hand. "No, I'm sorry. I'm wrong. Okay? We will all get through this. I just need you to know that I'm here to listen. I'm here for you to scream at and be angry with. You don't have to do it with everyone else," she said with a light chuckle. "Okay," she said meeting their gazes tearfully. "I will never ever give up on you and I will certainly never leave you."
Rachel lurched forward into her mother's arms and Shelby pulled the other girls to her with. Shelby could feel their distressed heartbeats against her own body. She could feel the worry in their tears and the confusion on their hitched breaths. She thought she knew what she was going to do. She thought that her love was enough, but now she knew that it had to be. She had to do this. She had to and not someone else.
I know I know. It's a bit short. I know... And I know I promised you holidays, and then after that the trial, but I realized they didn't fit with what I had planned for this chapter. So just move it up a chapter. It is coming I swear, but I'm trying to perfect this. I'm sorry that it's taken me so long to do this. Hopefully we'll get back on schedule with the next chapter. Please let me know what you think? Lots of planning for the open wounds and the sequel. please keep reading.