I'm sleeping alone in our bed tonight. We only sleep apart when one of us is out of town and our king mattress has never felt so large, lonely, cold.

I'm sleeping alone in our bed tonight because we are getting married tomorrow.

Married.

You and I are going to say I Do and commit our lives to each other in front of everyone we care about.

Finally.

It feels as if a lifetime has passed waiting for this day, but the past two weeks felt like time sped up. Like everything was in slow motion until we pushed that other button on the remote that makes it jump forward to the middle of the show.

Baby, I can't wait to jump forward with you.

And I'm here in our giant bed all alone, missing you. Missing you even though you're just a few blocks away tucked into the bridal suite of the hotel where our reception will be held. Missing you even though we just talked on the phone. Missing you even though we saw each other all day, and only just parted a few hours ago.

Missing you because as soon as I met you I missed you.

You could be just in the other room and I'd miss you.

And I think that's because of all the love I have inside for you, and the way you make me feel alive. I could miss you in the easiest ways, in the simplest ways, because you are a part of me. And when you're gone, no matter for how long, I feel incomplete.

You are my soul mate, Santana. My other half.

My sister offered to bunk with me, to make our bed feel less big, empty, overwhelming. I told her no. I wouldn't feel right bunking with anyone else but you before our wedding night, even if it is just my sister. She's down the hall in the guest room, enjoying the trip to the city and the sister bonding time we shared all day. All week really.

I should have made her stay up with me for a little while longer, because I'm too excited to sleep and a distraction would be nice. I don't want to have bags under my eyes tomorrow, but I don't know if I'll be able to sleep a wink tonight.

I'm so excited to see you tomorrow, baby. See your white dress, your sparkling eyes, your deep dimples when you smile that smile, my smile.

I'm so excited to read you my vows, to hold your hand in front of everyone and proclaim just how much I love you. To slide my ring on your finger and promise forever. As if words would ever be able to define the infinite way in which I love you.

They never will, Santana. Words will never be enough.

Nothing will ever be enough.

You know that. I know you feel the same way. I know you feel the same way when I catch you staring at me out of the corner of my eye, that little twinkle displayed in those deep brown depths. I know you feel the same way when you kiss me like you're breathing life into me, like you were made for nothing else. I know you feel the same way when we touch and feel the air around us shimmer. I know you feel the same way when, with just one look into my eyes, you know exactly what's wrong and what I need.

And, god, baby I just love you so much.

I smile thinking about the way you kissed me before you left earlier. You pulled me into our room, away from my sister and mom, and just held both of my hands in yours, down in between us. You smiled at me, that shy smile you get sometimes, and looked up at me from your lashes. Your voice small as you whispered Britt-Britt and leaned forward for a mouse kiss.

And even in that short little peck I could feel a thousand lifetimes between us.

You pulled away but I followed, leaning my forehead against yours, just breathing you in. For a second, for a minute, for who knows how long, until I could feel your lips on mine again, slow, deliberate, promising.

I can still feel the goosebumps on my arms, your breath ghosting my skin.

You squeezed my hand and stepped back before I even opened my eyes, "See you at the altar, darling."

And then you were gone, your perfume lingering in the air around me, your voice echoing goodbyes to my family down the hall, the chill still running down my spine.

I just can't wait to kiss you again.

Your text tone chirps next to me and I smile picking up my phone. Your text makes my heart leap.

Can't sleep…too excited for tomorrow.

I type out a quick reply, my heart thumping. Me either/too. I was busy daydreaming about that kiss.

What kiss would that be, huh B?

I giggle at your attempts at playing coy. Oh, that wasn't you? My mistake… must have been someone else. I'd love to kiss her again!

Maybe I can help you out with this dilemma. What was she wearing?

I love this game we're playing, relaxing into our playful banter. She had on a leather jacket and these sexy black jeans that looked painted on, long, beautiful dark hair.

She sounds smoking hot.

She definitely was. I wonder if anyone can give me her number?

I think she might be at this wedding I got invited to tomorrow. Want me to check it out for you? See if she's single?

Nah, she's probably not single.

Yeah, you're right. No way someone like that wouldn't be taken. She probably has some hot, super flexible blonde at home. Your response is too perfect and I just can't believe how lucky I am.

That she does.

And just like that I drop the game because I just want to chat with you, my fiancée. My soon to be wife. And before I know it I'm pressing the call button next to your name.

"Baby, we're getting married tomorrow." Your voice is a hushed whisper when you answer, like you're too excited to even say the words too loud.

"We are!"

"I can't wait to see you."

"I can't wait to kiss you. I miss your lips."

You giggle into the phone and I feel my butterflies start jostling around. "Are you only marrying me for my lips?"

"Maybe." You gasp, fake appalled, and I pause. "They are pretty pouty, and you do know just how to work them."

You giggle again, "You're not so bad yourself, B."

I hear a text chime on my phone and pull it away from my ear for a second to see what it is. It's a picture from you, of you puckering your lips.

And my laughter is loud and free.

I hear you hum into the phone, obviously pleased with the result of your flirting. I love that we still flirt like this. Like teenagers.

"Baby, will you still flirt with me even after we've been married for forever?"

"Britt-Britt, I will flirt with you as long as I have breath in my body."

And I swoon.

How did I find you? How did I convince you to date me, kiss me, love me? How did I convince the universe that I deserved someone like you?

Another text on my phone, this time from my sister. I laugh out loud again.

"Hey, that wasn't funny!"

"No, but my sister just texted me to stop having phone sex with you and save it for tomorrow, and that was."

I can practically feel your blush through the phone. You hate it when my sister and I tease each other about our sex lives. I don't really know why you hate it, but I find it unbelievably cute. Another one of your endearing quirks.

"Yeah, well, that would be a different sound coming from the bedroom for her precious little ears to absorb."

We both laugh at that before falling silent.

"Santana?"

"Yes, love?"

"Will you sing to me before we sleep?"

Your answer comes in the sound of your voice lilting into a tune. It melts me and I sink down, down, down into bed, clicking off the bedside lamp. I lay on my side facing your empty pillow and imagine you here with me, your voice filling my soul with comfort.

My eyes are heavy as you finish your song, and I feel myself finally relaxing into the pillow.

"I can't wait to marry you tomorrow."

"I can't wait either, goodnight my Britt."

And I close my eyes and snuggle into your pillow, breathing in your you, and drift off into sleep with a smile on my face.