A/N: So... erm...

Well... This is awkward...

Well, a few months later and I've updated the story, just like I've promised. It might of taken just a smidge longer than promised, but I did it! The schedule will now return to how it used to be- weekly, roughly on a Saturday.

I would just like to also add that I still haven't read the comics, and I've decided to pretty much keep the relationships to the Marvel cinematic universe's portrayal. I can't promise that all the events will happen in the same timeline, or whether they would happen at all. Basically, the second Loki magically and conveniently escaped from prison, he's been living in a alternate universe.

That being said, I hope you all enjoy this chapter and don't hate me too much, and have a happy new year. : )

Chapter 19
Home Again

Silence pierces through the car as a team of agents drive me back home. After two months of no rent and my obvious kidnapping, the landlord has long since given my room away to another tenant. Not that I blame him- we've all got to make a living.
"You must be very excited," the American agent- the only American on the team- says softly from beside me. "I can't imagine how stressful this situation must have been for you."
Of course, it's all just a load of bullshit. He doesn't care. All he cares about is that Loki's finally behind bars again, where he can't hurt anybody for a long time.
And of course he can imagine the 'stress' I've been through- he's a fucking government super spy! Don't they do this sort of shit daily?
I keep my mouth shut tight as I steadily glare out of the window.
"You're a quiet one, aren't you?" the American (what's his name again? Agent Carlson?) says with a hint of amusement in his voice.
Loki would have disagreed. Loki would have scoffed at the mere thought of me being described as 'quiet'.
But Loki isn't here.
The silence stretches on for a moment longer as the large black car we are seated in cruises smoothly down the road. With my old rented room now gone, these agents are taking me back to my old place of lodging, the place that once was my one true home.
Had this day come a little over a month ago, I would have been babbling ceaselessly with my excitement. But a lot has happened since those days.
"Your family has missed you a lot," Agent Carlson says. I watch as his reflection in the window smiles warmly at me. I turn my eyes back to those of my blank-faced reflection.
"I'd imagine they'd be very glad to see you relatively safe and unharmed."
Relatively. It must be the light sheen of scarring he's referring to. I don't really notice them any more.
"Don't you miss them?" he continues on, ignoring my pointed silence. "Your family? Your friends?"
Of course I miss them.
But I also miss a man- one with mischievous green eyes and a sharp, witty tongue.
I watched him leave; Thor hadn't wanted to risk giving Loki too much opportunity to escape, so he took Loki away with a swish of his hammer to fuck knows where. I don't know why he didn't use that rainbow bridge thing, as I've heard from both Loki and the book that it's their preferred mode of transport. Maybe there's traffic jam?
I smirk at my reflection as I picture several dozen of those bastards, all rammed together and shouting angrily at each other whilst standing on a multicoloured stone bridge up in Fairyland (or wherever the fuck they live).
"What's so funny?" Agent Nosey says with smile in his voice.
"Go fuck yourself."
"So she speaks," the cheeky bastard says proudly, completely ignoring what I just said. I scowl wordlessly at my reflection. It scowls back in understanding.
"You remind me of a young wolf cub I once knew," the strange agent says in reminisce. "He never made a sound and avoided absolutely everyone, until finally he-"
"Just give it up, Agent Coulson," the man in the front passenger seat tiredly interrupts. "She's obviously an ungrateful bitch, or she would've said thanks by now."
"That may be," the American says calmly, but with a slight edge of steel in his voice. "But she's a young woman who has been through an extremely traumatising ordeal, doing what very few agents managed to do during Loki's last vacation on Earth."
"What's that?" the dick up front asks, not sounding at all impressed.
"She survived," the agent sitting next to me patiently replies.
He thinks he has it all realised. He thinks that I'm the damsel who's been saved, and Loki was- and would never be anything more than- a fire breathing monster of a man.
Well, he's wrong about it all. Loki was never a monster towards me, not even at the beginning. He never hit or intentionally hurt me. The worst he did was threaten to kill me during my bitchiest moments, and prevent me from seeing my friends and family.
Sure, he made for a world class dickhead (I stand by that opinion, even now), but definitely not a monster.
My heart aches a little as I think back to that moment when Thor flew off, with one hand tightly gripping hold of Loki whilst the other sent him soaring off with his hammer.
... Maybe he'll escape again? He's done it once; surely he could do it again?
Damn it. I hope I'm not throwing all my hopes and dreams towards a fantasy that'll never happen.
On the one hand, he's the God of Lies. He could very well have lied to Thor to make him think that he's turning himself in, just so he could plan for an escape later on. He just couldn't have told me of his plan, as I might have given the entire game away. I've seen just as many films as anyone else; I know how it works.
But what if it was genuine? What if he really was turning himself in? He had said that he'd never lie to me.
Why did I have to fall for Loki?
"We're here," the American calmly informs me, successfully breaking me from my thoughts. I hadn't even noticed that the car stopped moving...
Getting out of the vehicle, I stop to stare at the building in front of me. I honestly didn't think I'd ever see it again. Mixed feelings begin to swarm inside of me: excitement to be back again; happiness to finally see my family again; sadness that it came at the cost of Loki; anger at the agents that were only doing their jobs. The feelings only escalate to a roaring crescendo as the front door opens.
Mom stands at the doorway, with Ben and Alex just behind her. I just stand there and stare at her for several long moments, not knowing what to do or if this is even real.
"Shana?" Mom breaks the silence to ask, her voice shaking with loosely restrained emotion. That's all it takes.
I launch myself towards my Mom and tightly wrap my arms around her. I press my face into the soft material of her blueish-grey knitted jumper and breathe in the scent of her flower perfume.
I feel one of her hands lightly stroking through my hair as I clutch on even tighter. My body spasms as a loud sob escapes me- not nearly muffled enough by her jumper, while tears steadily dampens the material. I hear her soft hushing and whispering from beside my head as she grips me just as tightly.
"You're home, sweetheart," I hear her say softly. "I don't know what the bastard did to you, but you're safe and home, now." That only makes me cry harder.
They wouldn't ever understand. How can they? One way or another, everyone has heard of Loki, and these days he's just about got the same reputation as Hitler.
Of course, I never intended to tell them what really happened in the cabin. Now, I feel even less inclined to do so.
Only me, Thor and Loki will know, because I just can't stand to picture the looks on everyone's faces when they find out that a personal victim of Loki's could ever bother to see the man he actually is.
It wasn't this complicated back in the cabin, my traitorous mind supplies as I drag in a loud, sobbing breath.
I'm really starting to miss that cabin.
Why couldn't I have had the cabin and my family?
Well... Yeah, that's a stupid question as I would have hated Loki even more if he'd gone and kidnapped my entire family- and our relationship would have most probably been a little more awkward. But still...
In some alternative universe way out there, I'm sure there's a version of me who has it all and without the drama. Maybe she's unhappy? Maybe she's grown bored or annoyed with her Loki? Either way, I really wouldn't mind playing body swap with her, so I could hug my Mom and kiss Loki without feeling any fear or regret.
But as they say, all good things must come to an end. Even the ones that come a little bit tainted.
"Are you feeling better, sweetheart?" My Mom asks softly as she comfortingly rubs my back.
No.
"Yeah," I croak with a weak smile.
I'd hate to sound melodramatic, but I feel like I'll never feel better again.
"Is it my turn for a hug?" Before I get chance to reply, I have my arms full of Lexie. He grips hold of me tightly, almost crushing my ribs with the force of the hug. His face is buried in my shoulder with enough force to bruise as he starts making loud noises. I honestly can't tell whether he's laughing or crying, but Lexie never cries.
"Err, hey. I'm here, now," I say softly as I slightly pat him on the shoulder. He slowly looks up at me with eyes red from tears and a big grin on his face.
"Yeah, you are," he says, finally stepping back slightly and dipping his head down slightly in embarrassment. "But seriously, Shana! It was two fucking months!"
"Alex," Ben scolds halfheartedly, still in the doorway. Lexie doesn't seem to notice the reprimand.
"At first, we just thought you were being quiet, but then you didn't sign onto Minefield: Battle Ground on Friday like you always do. We left it a little bit before going round to your place, which was when the landlord said you haven't been paying your bills; and then these government official types turned up and said that they reckoned Loki had taken you, and that they were going to go storm his hide-out!" Lexie quickly says, before finally pausing for breath.
"Wait, how did they know he took me?" I quickly ask, just as Lexie begins to continue his rushed rant. He pauses and looks towards the agents in confusion.
"Some of the locals had noticed a rather strange phenomenon happening on the night of Miss White-Friar's disappearance. As there hadn't been any other kidnappings in the area during that time -and considering that that was when we were informed of Loki's escape- it wasn't too hard to figure out," Agent Dickhead from earlier says kind of smugly from where he stands a few feet away next to the car. I send him my deadliest glare, which he remains stoic to.
Lexie nods his head in understanding.
"Yeah, that," he says, pointing towards the agent. "When they said that Loki had you, we all thought you'd been tortured or killed! We were all terrified!" Mom chokes on a sob and Ben clears his throat, both of them staring at me in worry and concern.
"But then they told us that you were alright and that they're bringing you home. We just... I just kinda..." Lexie's voice trails off as his bottom lips starts to tremble viciously. Jamming his fist to his mouth with nearly enough force to punch a tooth out, he tightly shuts his eyes while he wills away the tears that are obviously fighting to get out.
"Don't worry, Alex," Ben says as he finally steps away from the doorway and covers the few steps between us, until he's standing next to Lexie.
"We all missed you, Shana," Ben says, with his own suspicious shine coating his eyes. "I might not be your Dad- I might never even be considered your father. But you've become my daughter," he grimaces as a couple of tears escape his eyes and leak into his heavy stubble (he's normally clean shaven...).
"It half killed me, thinking that I'd never get to tell you that." More tears start to trickle down his cheeks to gather in his beard as he raises a hand to rub at his eyes.
Oh shit. Ben was never the emotional type. He's worse than my brother when it comes to showing emotions, so for him to be on the verge of a breakdown like this...
Stepping close to him, I wrap him in a hug. This one isn't nearly as back breaking as the one with Lexie, or as protective as the one with Mom. However, his hesitant hug back says it all.
He's glad to see me, and the hug definitely makes things better.