A/N Thank you all much for the love you've given this story. I appreciate it so much. We're picking up right where we left off.
Happy Valentine's Day!
00
Sometimes it happens that way. It's like you can't seem to get the thing started. Then once it finally gets going no matter how hard you try to, you can't slow it down. That's when you need to step out of your own way and just let it happen like it's supposed to happen.
00
He walked her to her door and he was so serious when he spoke, "I feel bad I can't stay. I'd like ta spend more time with ya and I wanna have a look around your shop. It's just I'm so far behind on my orders, I gotta get to it."
She could see he was flustered as he continued apologizing, "I know I should be takin' ya out ta eat or sumthin', but I need ta keep my nose ta the grindstone for the next couple a days. If I can get the work caught up now, when Sunday comes around I won't have it pressin' on me." He paused, looked down but then quickly looked back up and into her eyes, he took in a deep breath and continued, "I want ya ta know Beth, I…well I'll be around, and I'll be better about, you know, everythin'."
It was obvious how uncomfortable he was, or maybe it was more that he simply couldn't find his words. But she knew exactly what he was getting at. It was important to him that she understand he wasn't going to be avoiding her, that he'd just be busy.
She wanted him to know it was all okay and she did her best to assure him, "I get it Daryl. I'm really busy too. After blowing everything off today I'll be playing catch-up myself."
"Shit, I kept ya from your work."
"No you didn't. I took time away from my work because I wanted to spend that time with you. I knew exactly the choice I was making."
Those steely blue eyes never strayed from hers and his voice sounded coarse and undeniably sexy when he spoke, "I made the same choice. I wanted ta spend that time with you." Then he surprised her in such a nice way. His hands lightly held her waist while he leaned in close and rested his cheek on hers. He kissed her softly close to her ear and she could feel his warm breath. It was all so tender and she loved that he didn't rush to pull away, instead he held the gentle kiss and it was hard for her to believe such an innocent kiss could be so sensual.
When he did step back she tried hard to sound composed but her emotions were running high. Still, she wanted him to know, "I'm really looking forward to spending time with you Sunday."
Her words made him feel so good and he shocked himself with what happened next. Suddenly his arms wrapped around her waist and when they did, without thinking, she draped hers lightly around his neck. After all the time they'd spent dancing around each other it was like they were finally dancing together.
He moved in a little closer to her, his cheek was again resting against hers and again she felt his warm breath on her ear. He didn't seem to be in any kind of hurry to pull away and she wasn't either. They were both just soaking in the closeness of the warm embrace. This was something they'd craved since the first time they saw each other, and something he'd fought so hard against. Now that the chance had finally been taken they relaxed and enjoyed the tenderness of the moment, and reveled in the affection of shared feelings and the many promises the caress held.
Spoken words weren't needed. They were saying what needed to be said just holding each other so closely. His hug let her know he was no longer fighting his feelings for her. Instead he was doing battle with the darkness that had kept him from her. Her hug told him she wanted this as much as he did.
When they did slowly begin to pull away from each other, he said something to her that she didn't fully understand. It felt so heavy and she could see he was struggling. Then she knew exactly what was going on. It was the darkness. "I, I wanna be close with ya Beth in so many ways. I've wanted it since I first saw ya. I just…I just can't take any chances. I gotta be careful. I can't let anythin' happen to ya."
"I don't know what this is all about Daryl and I think you should tell me."
He nodded his head and he was chewing his lip so hard she thought for sure he'd break the skin. "I will, I'll try."
"Alright but please make it soon. If we're going to have a chance at this thing I think we both know you're going to have to trust me. Please don't worry, I told you, I'm open-minded and always willing to listen."
"It's different than that Beth."
"It may be, I have no way of knowing until we talk to each other. And we do need to talk Daryl, I have things I need to share with you too."
Neither of them pressed further. They said their goodbyes with the promise of seeing each other Sunday morning.
They'd come so far in one short day, and it all seemed to have come about as happenstance. But as she relived the day in her mind she smiled, Merle. Sometime soon she'd have to thank him for the little game he'd played.
That was on Wednesday afternoon, by Thursday at five he was at her door. "Daryl hi, I wasn't expecting you. Come in."
"Ya sure it's okay? I shoulda called or sumthin'."
"No, no really it's fine. I was in desperate need of a break and besides, I'm happy to see you." She was smiling and just seeing her smile relaxed him.
He nodded his head as he stepped inside. He hadn't seen the place since she moved in and he liked the bright warm feel of it. "Your livin' area looks real nice. I never woulda thought ta hang a big curtain up like that ta keep things separate. Good idea. Can I take a quick look at what's happenin' on the other side?"
"Yes, of course. I'm just doing some lost wax mold castings. I'll show you."
He smiled when she took his hand and lead him that way, but he felt his stomach tense. He knew what was involved in making molds but he kept his mouth shut for now.
As he looked around the neatly organized shop he shook his head and he sounded upset, not at her but himself, "I don't know what I was thinkin' exactly, but I didn't expect there ta be so much stuff, so many tools. I should know more about these things, smithing is smithing. It's just I've always been so caught up in what I'm doin'."
She stopped and looked at him, "I wonder, are you always hard on yourself Daryl? I don't expect you to know anything about what I do, any more than you expected me to know about gunsmithing."
He just looked at her, barely giving a nod of his head as he gently squeezed her hand. They continued into the shop and over to where she was currently working.
"So, I've made some wax models of a few of my new designs. I carve the designs, kind of like little sculptures in wax. I use the wax model to create a mold using molten metal." She smiled thinking back on her early work, "When I first started trying to make molds most of my stuff was truly awful." Then she noticed he looked nervous, on edge. She cut it short, not getting into a lot of detail as she went on, "So anyway, a lot of what I make is from old jewelry I pick up at second hand stores and re purpose. I melt the precious metals and use the molds I've made to cast them into something new."
His hands were on her shoulders, his eyes trained on hers, "I know how it works, same method can be used ta make bullets. Molten metals, you could get hurt."
She knew then, "Daryl please, you have to stop worrying about me so much or at least tell me why so I can try to understand. Please." She'd been doing all of this for so long, so many people did and without incident. It seemed like no big deal to her, but she could see it was a big deal to him and she was trying to ease his mind. "Yes, I work with molten metals. I have been since I was a teenager. But it's just a part of what I do and I'm good at it; and I'm always careful. You may as well know I also use soldering guns, a kiln, an Acetylene torch and lots of sharp tools. I wear the appropriate gloves and a leather apron, I keep my hair up and wear a safety shield over my face. I think I'm overly cautious really. I don't have any desire to get hurt."
"I know ya think I'm outta line here. Shit, I am outta line. I got no business tellin' ya how ta do your job. I just, I do worry about ya. If anythin' happened to you I'd never forgive myself."
She hit him where he lived when she simply stated, "I have a feeling there's more than one thing you haven't forgiven yourself for. Think about it Daryl. Let's say I did have a bad accident and burned myself, how would that possibly be your fault?"
He did a kind of slow roll of his shoulders and there was an uneasiness in the air. She wanted that happiness back that she'd felt when she first saw him at her door. She quit holding back, she did what she'd wanted to do then. She wrapped her arms around his waist and she felt him relax as his arms went around her shoulders. She looked up at him with a smile. "You know what I think Daryl? I think I'm starving. Let's go have something to eat, we'll both feel better."
He smiled back, "That's what I came over here ta ask ya about in the first place, if I could take ya out for a bite."
"Great, should we take the motorcycle?"
"Don't push it girlie, I ain't quite ready for that yet." He was smiling when he said it and as he leaned in and kissed her cheek, he softly whispered in her ear, "Gimme a little time Beth."
She took his hand and smiled, "Of course. And I've been dying for a ride in that big black truck anyway."
"Pfft, yeah, I bet. Let's do this then."
They sat in a quiet corner booth and she ordered a glass of wine, he ordered a beer. He glanced at the menu and then at her, "Man I'm hungry, I ain't eaten since breakfast. What's lookin' good to you?"
"It's been a long day. I was thinking comfort food, chicken and biscuits. You?"
She was amazed how easily they'd slipped into this normal, casual way of being with each other. It felt so natural, like they'd done this same thing many times. What was so hard to believe was, as recently as three days before she would have sworn they'd never even have so much as a real conversation.
Each had some serious questions they'd like to pose to the other, but this wasn't the time or place for all of that. This was about just spending time together having a little fun and relaxing after both had a busy day. They kept it light on their impromptu dinner date. She told him about her Seattle job and he told her about the museum account. It was all just friendly "get to know you" small talk.
Then it felt like a warm little wave went right through her when he reached across the table, took her hand and smiled, "I've noticed the jewelry ya wear. It's really unique, way different and so cool. I like it. I really like it on you."
He walked her to her door, and continued holding her hand as they said their good nights. "I'll see ya on Sunday." She smiled at him and his look turned more serious. It felt like he was taking all of her in as his hands came up and caressed her face. He was staring into her eyes so deeply and she could feel the warmth and his desire. It didn't surprise her, she was feeling it too. He slowly leaned in and kissed her forehead, then leaned back just enough to lightly press his forehead to hers. He held it there, not saying anything. He didn't need to.
After a moment or two he pulled back again and his voice was low and throaty, "I don't wanna rush with ya Beth, this ain't just about that. It's so much more." She couldn't respond. She just closed her eyes and took in all the goodness of the moment.
He softly kissed her cheek, a gesture she'd already become quite fond of, and told her, "I had a real nice time tonight. I'm glad I came by for ya. Thanks."
"Thank you, Daryl, for dinner and so much more."
She hated it when his hands moved from her face as he unlocked her door. And as she took in his physical appearance, she marveled at the striking contrast between the rugged look of the man, and his very tender touch and loving way. Mr. Dark and Dangerous had so many layers.
Over the next few days they'd see each other outside and they chatted for a moment when they did. Saturday morning they even had coffee together outside in her little space. But now the day they'd both been waiting for had arrived. Sunday morning came and he was at her place at the agreed upon time, eight o'clock. They were both all smiles as she opened the door, "Ya ready?"
"I'm ready and the picnic's ready and I can't wait." She was nervous and for more than one reason. For one, there was her ego at play, she was hoping desperately not to embarrass herself when she tried to shoot the gun. It wasn't that she had any concern he'd tease her or make fun, that didn't seem to be his way at all. She'd learned that about him when they shot the crossbow. This worry was just her pride, she knew she'd be mortified if she did something dumb.
She was nervous about the food, she hoped he'd like the lunch she'd made for them. She was sure he would and she didn't even get why she was so worried. She didn't think he was picky or that he'd be any more critical of her cooking than he was of anything else. He was always complimentary. It was just that it felt important to her, she wanted him to be pleased.
But those things weren't what was giving her the biggest case of the nerves, those things were very minor. It was the big thing that was making her anxious. This was the day she hoped he would have enough faith in her to confide in her whatever it was that weighed so heavy on him. She was sure that even though he thought of himself as being a danger to her, that just couldn't be right. She was confident that wasn't who he was.
There was no denying the fact she didn't know him well, at least it wouldn't appear that way on the surface. She'd didn't know all those things people learn about one another over time. But she was sure she knew him. She knew the person he was.
And this man held a power over her. Not in some cruel or evil way, it was just him. She was so drawn to him and all the things that made Daryl Dixon the man she believed him to be. A good, kind and gentle man, who wasn't able to see those positive things in himself. A man tortured by some dark sense that he wasn't good and didn't deserve good things.
He knew she didn't know, of course she didn't. She'd never understand what a huge deal this was to him. He was going to take her to his "spot." He was going to let her in his secret world. For reasons he didn't fully comprehend, he trusted her.
Trust was key in his very private world. As big an asshole as Merle could be, when the shit got down Daryl trusted his brother completely. But Merle had always been the only one. Now he was going to put his trust in this woman. A woman he hardly knew. Yet he did know her. He knew everything about what made Beth Greene an extraordinary person.
He may not know the name of the school she attended when she was six, and he may not know her favorite color, but he knew something far more important than those things. He knew her heart and her soul. He felt it so strongly when he was near her. It was the goodness and the that surrounded her. He wanted to go to that and never step away.
The spot was only a small part of what would be revealed this day. There were things that weighed heavy. It was something he had to do. As hard and painful as it was going to be, he knew she expected him to come clean. To reveal himself to her and try to help her understand why he worried so. He knew she sensed his darkness, he could see that in the way she'd looked at him that very first day. Her beautiful warm eyes taking in the harshness of the man he perceived himself to be. A dangerous man. A danger to her.
He'd never willingly hurt her, he'd take a bullet for her in a heartbeat, but he didn't have any power over this. It was like he attracted misery, violence and death. It had been hanging over him and in him since the day he was born. She was perceptive, she'd known all along there was something going on, something he was hesitant to talk about.
He asked himself why he would even think about telling her. He didn't want to. And would he even be able to tell her? Would the words come to him? And if he did tell her, once she knew everything would she run just as fast and as far as she could away from him? This was all a huge risk, but he knew she was right. If they were going to have any kind of chance at all he had to tell her. And he wanted this woman, he needed her in his life and he knew he would have to keep reminding himself this was a risk worth taking.
He helped her in the big pick up first, and as soon as he got in she slid over next to him. He'd hoped she would, he would have asked her to if she hadn't done it on her own. They'd been cruising along for about 15 minutes. Just making small talk about the beauty of the day and the fun they'd have. Then she casually asked him, "You know Daryl when I first looked at the factory to rent it, you'd just left on a road trip. The agent said you take off on your bike a lot, usually for a week or two at a time. But that time you'd be gone for the whole month. I was fascinated. I imagined you being some kind of an adventure seeker or something. Now I'm more curious than ever, where do you go? I mean, I'm sorry, maybe I shouldn't ask but I'd like to know."
He gave her a quick side eye look but he didn't look angry, it was more the kind of look a person gets when they're about to share something. He shrugged his shoulders and told her, "Depends. I work a lot of gun shows and sportsman shows, they last two or three days. I never travel with guns. I got that shippin' outfit that transports them and my show booth for me. I go, I show my stuff, talk to people, take orders. It's business but it can be a lotta fun too, especially the sportsman's shows."
"A lotta times I go see a couple that I know, they're older. I owe 'em but that ain't all of it, I care about em too. So I call on em and see if I can help out with anythin' around their place and whatnot"." It was like suddenly the darkness was surrounding him. Was it these friends of his?
Then the darkness seemed to lift a little as he continued, "Always, no matter where else I go, I stop at my spot. Even if it's only for a couple hours. That's where we're goin' today. I want ya to know. It's a big deal to me Beth. You're only the second person I've ever taken there, Merle was the other. It's my hideaway."
00
A/N I know you thought we'd get to that date, but I had other things I wanted you to experience with our couple first. I hope you enjoyed the chapter and that you'll leave me a comment / review. The chapter photo is on my tumblr blogs gneebee and bethylmethbrick. Please check it out. Next chapter we'll find out about this hideaway, it may be a little different than you're thinking. I thank you all for reading along and I hope to see you back next week for more of Dark & Dangerous. Until then remember, I love ya large! xo gneebee