"I had a hope once, a hope of a saviour. But he was the False Shepherd, and when the wolves came for me, he was nowhere to be found."
I can't believe I am actually going to do this, Sarah thought, watching Pan vigilantly. She never knew what occurred in Skull Rock other than being sent to the ground. Where's Henry?" she asked him, though she feared for the worst when he turned to her grinning. By the look he gave her, she knew instantly Henry was in even more trouble than before, possibly even dead.
He circled around her. She stayed where she was, not giving an inch into what he wanted: for her to act out. Pan had a love for seeing her frustrating with him. "You'll see," Pan responded. "I know what you can do, Sarah. It is how we are getting to Storybrooke."
"Why so secretive about it? Just tell me."
"You know what it is," he said. "Don't even think about denying it. Unless, you really don't want to leave. I suppose you can stay in Neverland for all I care."
Sarah crossed her arms. If he wanted to leave her in Neverland, then there was nothing to stop him. "How do you propose we leave?" she asked him, finally giving into his plan. Like she had much of a choice.
"The doors," Pan said, wryly. "Use the doors."
Doors. He is referring to what happened in the cave? But how did he know… Unless, he saw her do it in the past, and she knew they both had a past together in some form. "I don't remember how I did it before!"
"Doesn't sound like you," he told her. "In fact you look different from what I remember. You never had this blonde streak in your hair."
He tried changing the subject. She pushed his hand away from her hair before he touched it. "I dyed one lock of hair," Sarah replied and added a shake of her head. "It isn't fair you keep accusing me of not acting like myself when I have no idea who that is!"
"Do you recall what I told you? Emma and the others have left already. They took Henry, and are going to Storybrooke. They left without you, Sarah. They never trusted you, and probably blame you for his kidnapping," Pan said. "Why would you care about people like that?"
She thought for maybe the amount of time she spent with them, they cared about her a little. Even a little bit helped her get through being on the island. "I don't. I have been around people who couldn't care less about me. I guess their mistrust in me should not be much of a surprise," she said.
"Then do something about it. Show them you don't care about them either. Open the door."
Closing her eyes, focusing on recreating a door. The door that would lead her back to Storybrooke. She heard Zoso's angry voice yelling at her to try again, and commenting on her lack of focus. He was telling her to try again. She listened for her voice, finding nothing except the sound of frustration. The same flashback she had was coming back to her, but why that one of all memories?
When she opened her eyes, she saw a grassy field, and a small house. Pan was nowhere in sight. In fact, there was nobody in her line of sight. She walked inside the house. "Pan? If this is one of your stupid tricks I swear I will – "
"Who are you talking to?" she heard a voice from behind her. It was him. Pan, or an older version. "N-Nobody… Just to myself."
"Must be from being pregnant," he joked, his arms around her, touching her stomach. Sarah looked down at her stomach. Somehow it grew massively. What? She thought. He put his hands around her. "I'm glad you're here right now." Holy shit. Pregnant? Was this in the past? She thought. No… no. We had a child together?! "Something wrong?" She could hardly speak. Nausea washed over her, as she sat down on the rocking chair by the fire. Nothing made sense.
It was evidently a dream. A bad one.
She was on edge, unable to decide if she should mention what she saw to Pan or not. It may not have been a memory, or simply a hallucination. She opened the door that appeared, allowing Pan and herself to walk through it to the other side.
She expected him to turn on her as soon as they stepped foot into the town, but instead, he was gone from her line of sight. Wind began picking up, as she searched for him. Sarah swallowed, her hands touching her stomach. It was back to normal. Sarah stayed where she was, trying not to think about what the memory was truly telling her. She knew what it was, she sensed it, which couldn't be…
If we had a child together, than that unborn child must have been… Rumple? Sarah thought. The fully grown man was her child? That was impossible! Well, not quite… seeing as Pan was her age and was his father. The same went for Mary Margaret and David being the same age as Emma, and being her parents as well. I am finding this out now before I leave? I don't even have all my memories yet!
Sarah didn't know what to do next, if she should stay in Storybrooke or leave. Pan's plans for Henry were at its final course. Whether Henry had been able to take the heart successfully or not, she was not sure. One thing certainly was not about to change: Who she was meant to be. Did Rumple know who his mother was? Wait. He said his mother died. He really doesn't know.
This was all her fault and nobody would ever forgive her if Henry died. She cursed, again and again as she tried to find where Pan went off to.
No! She thought, her hands running through her hair. She didn't know where she was going, or where Henry was. She noticed a ship arriving at the docks, and several people leaving.
Sarah rushed to them, calling out. "Henry!" she shouted. Emma and Regina were genuinely surprised to see her. "Emma, Regina, I may have made a huge mistake."
Regina crossed her arms after giving Emma a glance. "What kind of mistake are we talking about?" she asked astonishingly calm. Sarah gulped, the words forming in her mouth. "Well?"
"It's Pan. I… I was able to get here by opening a door for him, which was a big mistake," Sarah said. "He told me he'd let me leave, but only if I lead him to Storybrooke!"
Regina nearly lunged at her. "What?!"
She took a step back as Emma prevented Regina from doing any harm. "Mom, no! Don't. She's the one who helped me," Henry said. "I would not be alive if it weren't for her."
"You have gone too far this time!" Regina shouted at Sarah. "We should have her put in jail."
"Regina, she's just a kid!" Emma replied, continuing to push her away.
"So that's why you disappeared," Mary-Margaret said. "It makes sense."
Sarah lowered her head. "I did it without thinking."
"We all make mistakes, dear, and we will work together to figure this out, right Regina?"
Regina shook her head. "Fine, but that doesn't mean I'll forgive you."
Sarah did not expect her to. Regina had every right to become angry with her for making a horrible mistake. Luckily, Henry was not upset with her much, even though he expressed disappointment that she did not know better. The bastard manipulated me! She thought. Again."Let's go find him."
"No. I'm going to find him," Rumple interrupted. "And settle the score once and for all."
"No!" Sarah exclaimed, knowing Pan would kill his own son. Everyone looked at her, waiting for her to explain. "I… I can't let you do that. You know how dangerous he is. He will kill you."
"That is a chance I have to take."
"Please, don't… I – " she felt something drip from her nose. It fell on her hand. Blood. She began to feel a bit dizzy, and the last thing she remembered was someone calling her name as she fell to the ground.
Sarah walked towards the window again, her palm brushing against it lightly. The coldness from outside rushed to her, but she didn't mind. She found herself always looking out the window these days. "Sarah?" It was Malcolm. He threw another log into the fire and carefully walked to her. "You have been dazed lately. What's wrong?"
"Everything," she replied, without turning around. "I've… been afraid the past couple days."
"Is this… about – "
"No. Not about the baby. It's about something else."
She felt his warm arms around her body. "You can tell me anything," he told her gently. "We're married now. Soon, to be a family. We shouldn't have any secrets hidden from each other."
"That's what is making this so hard… I can't!"
"Sarah, look at me." She turned to him, and before she knew it, he kissed her on the lips. Sarah broke it off immediately, shaking her head with tears in her eyes, but that only made him kiss her again. This time, she didn't do anything to stop him, letting herself feel engrossed into it. When he pulled away, he placed his hands on her shoulders gently, "You can tell me anything. I will not judge you. We have made it this far, right?"
She looked away from him again, not knowing what else to say. He was right. They went through a lot just to be together, and now she could not even tell him what was bothering her? I can't do this anymore, she thought.
Sarah was in the white room again. The sound of beeps and clicks woke her up, but she did not remember anything. It was like the day she arrived in Storybrooke. She lifted herself up, instead finding a wristband around her and hospital clothes on. Her head pulsed, as she saw images of a woman and a man talking to each other. The woman was pregnant and… Blood fell from her nose and onto her bed. She pinched the bridge of her nose just as the same doctor from before arrived. "Hello, Sara. My name is Doctor Whale and I will be your doctor this evening. I believe you suddenly fell unconscious," the doctor said gently. "Do you remember anything at all?"
She nodded. "I remember just… falling."
"Well, I noticed you have broken ribs. I have patched it up for you, but…"
Her heart jumped when the doctor said the word 'but'. Nothing good could come from it. "But what?"
"Your broken ribs are the least part of your problem," he said. "I fear I have to do an x-ray on your brain to check for any trauma. It may be the reason for the nosebleeds. Have you been experiencing anything else aside from that?"
"Well, my nosebleeds are usually accompanied after I remember my lost memories," Sarah replied.
The doctor rubbed his chin. "I see. That is most troubling. I still need to do the x-ray, if you do not mind."
She wanted to know if the nosebleeds were actually from the memories or if it was something internal. "What else could the nosebleeds mean?"
Doctor Whale shrugged. "A sign of cancer perhaps." Sarah's eyes widened. Cancer? No way! She knew she could not have cancer. The doctor added a friendly smile. "That's rare, but it might also mean it's humid out or a blood vessel that has not healed." Sarah tried paying attention to him but his medical talk began to annoy her. She didn't want to stay in the hospital. The nosebleeds were frequent. She wanted to know why they continued to happen.
Pan had more answers, and she would find him. He's not going to get away with this, she thought. And as she was about to ask the doctor if she could leave, the window in the room broke into several pieces. Sarah was staring Pan's shadow dead in the face, and what she didn't expect was for it to take her by the arm aggressively.
She fought with the shadow, but it was futile because she was already being lifted out of the hospital bed and into the air.
A|N: I know most of you have been asking the question 'is she Rumple's mother"? Well, you have your answer! xD It was always supposed to be a fact, not a secret and it was an obvious fact because I realized how silly it would be if I revealed OMFG SARAH IS HIS MOTHER. That's just me though but I can't say the same for other writers. It isn't necessarily a bad thing.