"Our babies look silly, Mon."

"They look adorable," I correct, bending down and gently grabbing Jack's little foot through his Halloween costume, making him smile.

"All right," Chandler concedes. "They do look pretty cute. But they also look silly."

"They're itty bitty babies," I answer, grabbing Erica's foot and pretending to put it in my mouth. "They're supposed to look silly."

"You're doing the voice again."

I look up at Chandler and make a face; lately, when I get excited and try to talk to the babies at the same time, a strange little high-pitched voice comes out of me. Even I get annoyed by it, once I notice it. I'm sure that the pitch doesn't thrill my children, either. "Sorry. I can't help it, though—they bring it out in me."

"They look so…fluffy."

"Honey, they're babies. There's a very limited window of time where I can dress them in cutesie, squishy little Halloween costumes. I've always wanted to do this, so please…"

It's Jack and Erica's first Halloween, and I was terribly unoriginal and dressed them both in pumpkin costumes. It took me forever to decide what to dress them in—the costume choices for babies are endless—but when it came down to it, I've always been able to picture my baby dressed up like a pumpkin. Now, I have two.

They do look kind of fluffy, though, but that's the nature of the pumpkin. And judging by their happy, round little faces, my twins are okay with being fluffy.

"Well, at least you got the personalities right," he says, reaching out to tickle their bellies, earning larger grins and happy noises. Jack's pumpkin has a happy face; Erica's has a scary face.

"I thought it was appropriate, though I feel like I should be sticking up for my daughter somehow."

Chandler's arm wraps around me and I lean against him, sighing, as we watch our two little babies squirm and kick on the changing table. "We do this a lot," he mumbles.

"Can't be helped. They're just so cute."

"I won't argue that," he answers, squeezing my shoulder. He likes to harass me about going overboard with them, but I'm pretty sure he wouldn't have it any other way.

"Where's the camera?" I ask.

"In my pocket," he answers, and before he can reach for it, I slide my hand across the back of his jeans, checking the back pockets, before reaching into his far pocket, digging it out.

"You just felt me up in front of our children," he tells me, sounding affronted.

"Get over it." I turn the camera on, focusing it on the little pumpkins. "You liked it."

He reaches out to tickle Jack's foot. "You could have at least bought me dinner first."

"How about," I tell him casually, snapping a few pictures, "if I serve myself up for dessert later instead?"

I swear I hear him whimper, though he quickly clears his throat to cover it. "Will this involve whipped cream?"

"If you're good. But I think the cherry part is out."

He nearly chokes, his mouth hanging open as he stares at me. "When did you get so filthy?"

"I think it was somewhere between round four and five in London."

He shakes his head, then suddenly groans in disappointment. "We can't tonight."

"Why not? You have a better offer?"

He rolls his eyes at me. "Rachel's here with Emma? Ross will be here with Ben soon?"

I echo his groan of disappointment. "We could still do it."

"Really? You think you can keep it down? During whipped cream sex?"

I wrinkle my nose; he has a point. I've been more enthusiastic than usual lately, and while it's one thing to assume our own children are sleeping through it, it's another thing entirely to assume my niece and nephew could sleep through it. "I could probably be quiet; I used to be quiet all the time."

"Quieter," he corrects me, taking Jack into his arms and kissing his little head. "You weren't even that good at it back then, you know. It's a wonder we managed to fool our friends for as long as we did, when you think about it."

I pick up Erica, who immediately drools down the front of my shirt. "Thank you, sweetie," I tell her, and she looks at me, a spit bubble popping out of her mouth. Chandler grabs a burp rag and cleans me up, only groping me for a couple of seconds in the process. He tosses the rag in the dirty clothes laundry basket then takes the camera out of my hand, putting it back in his pocket.

"You've gotten pretty good at dealing with life one-handed," I tell him, impressed, as we head down to the living room.

"Necessity is the mother of invention," he informs me, lifting Jack over his head, jiggling him gently.

"He's gonna puke on you."

"Wouldn't be the first time." Regardless, he brings the baby back down to his side. "So, run me through tonight's itinerary again."

"There's no 'itinerary." He looks at me doubtfully. "There's not! Ross is finishing up with that Halloween carnival thing at Ben's school—"

"Why aren't Rachel and Emma there?"

"They went this afternoon; that's why I picked them up on my way home from work." I sit down on the arm of the couch, bouncing Erica on my leg, smiling when she giggles. "Don't you pay attention to me when I talk to you?"

Chandler's eyes widen, alarmed that he may have been caught tuning me out. "I don't recall us having any such conversation."

"I'm screwing with you, honey."

He sits down on the couch, standing Jack up on his thighs, and narrows his eyes at me. "You're an evil woman."

"BAH!" Jack yells, hitting his hands against his father's arm.

I smile at Jack as Chandler nods his head. "That's right; bah, Mommy. Bah!" He holds out Jack's tiny hand, making him point a finger at me. I shake my head and lean over to kiss both of my guys.

"Anyway, once Ross gets here, we're making a small tour of our neighborhood—everyone wants to see the twins in costume, and when I told them about Ben and Emma, they wanted to meet them, too."

"Who's everyone? I don't know everyone."

"We know the same people—The Thompsons, the Gilberts…" My voice trails off as I realize I can't remember anyone's last names, and that I'm not even sure if the ones I've said are accurate. I know them by their first names, though, which I think is great progress. Chandler's looking at me with an eyebrow raised and I just shrug. "We'll go down a few houses in both directions and hit a few houses across the street. They'll have candy and stuff for Ben and Emma."

"Are they aware that Halloween is actually tomorrow, though?"

"Apparently, in the suburbs, Halloween is celebrated on the weekend, regardless of the day it actually falls on. I don't know—it's a thing. But that's about it. We'll make the rounds, make nice with these people, introduce our old friends to our new friends, maybe hit a few more houses for Ben's sake, then we'll come back here."

"And we're not taking the stroller," Chandler says doubtfully.

"We're not going far; this way we don't have to strap them in after every house; we can carry them. We'll have the little snuggly things in case, too. As long as the diaper bag is full, I think we'll be okay." I wiggle my daughter a little, smiling at her. "You think we'll be okay, right, Eri? Right, Eri?" I lean in and start kissing her cheeks, and she shrieks in my ear as she yanks my hair.

"That's a fun noise," Chandler says, shaking his head, his eyes wide.

"What? I'm sorry, I'm deaf now, I can't hear a word you said." Erica starts to babble, her grip on my hair tightening. "Okay." I peek at Chandler through my hair and see Jack bouncing up and down, hand stuffed in his mouth, drool dripping down his costume.

"I think they're ready for Halloween to start. Or they need an exorcist." Chandler grabs a tissue from the end table, trying to stop the flow of spit from Jack's mouth.

I stand up, slowly pulling Erica away from me, pulling my head back at the same time, and only succeed in being able to see her better as she tries to stuff her fist full of my hair in her mouth. I give my head a gentle tug, which only seems to encourage her to hold on tighter. I head over to the stairs, shifting the baby away from me as I yell. "Come on, Rache! Ross said he'd be here by six." Erica shrieks again, and I swear I can hear a ringing in my ear now. "Okay, you. Let's see if Daddy will make you happy."

"We'll be down in a second," I hear Rachel yell. "Emma wants to make a grand entrance."

I carefully walk back over to Chandler, trying to turn Erica to face him. "Look, baby; it's Daddy!" She makes a happy noise and finally lets go of my hair, and I stick her on Chandler's lap. I rub my scalp, already sore from my daughter's death grip.

"You okay?" he asks, wrapping an arm around each child and pulling them to his chest.

"Yeah. You're just lucky you don't have hair." I hold my hands out for Jack, and Chandler shifts him closer t o me. I give my head a little shake, hoping the hair is back far enough to avoid another incident and grab my son, making sure he's facing out so he can see things. He scrunches up his face and blows a raspberry, his legs still kicking.

"I have enough hair for them to grab," he assures me, sticking out his finger for Erica to grab onto, who is suddenly much quieter.

"Speaking of evil women," I say, gesturing toward her with my head, and Chandler just shrugs. I look down at Jack then point to his father. "Bah! Right, Jack? Bah!" He just looks up at me and blows another raspberry. "I get no respect."

"Calm down, Rodney Dangerfield. It's probably a full moon or something. I'm sure they'll be back on your side in no time at all."

Rachel's voice echoes down the stairs. "You guys ready?"

"Bring it," Chandler answers, and a few moments later Rachel appears with Emma in her arms, helping her down the stairs. At the landing, she puts her on the floor, and the little girl comes flying at us, stopping to twirl.

"Hi!" she exclaims, bouncing with joy.

"What a beautiful…" Chandler trails off, looking at Rachel for help. She mouths "fairy princess" and he nods. "Fairy princess!"

She just giggles and starts to twirl again, her wings flapping as her dress billows around her.

"Okay, okay," Rachel says, putting a hand on her daughter's shoulder. "You're gonna make yourself sick."

"Candy, Mommy!"

Rachel nods, then gives us a look. "Have I mentioned how grateful I am that Joey taught her that word?"

"You look beautiful, Emma," I tell her, bending down to kiss her forehead. I can't believe she's closer to three than to two. Of course, I still have trouble believing my own children are now six months old.

Rachel notices the twins and gasps. "Oh, my God! They look so adorable!"

"I know," I answer, grinning, bouncing Jack back and forth, looking over at Chandler smugly. He just rolls his eyes and stands up, passing Erica off to Rachel.

"I'm gonna go make sure the bag is ready so we can head out when Ross gets here." He gives me a quick kiss, then boops Jack on his nose before heading upstairs.

"You guys are sickeningly cute—you know that, right?"

I nod, pressing my lips against Jack's head. I'm aware that Chandler and I can be pretty nauseating at times; I think adding kids to the mix has just made it worse.

I see Erica's hand stretch up to Rachel and my eyes widen. "Oh, hey, Rache; she's going to—" Too late; Erica grabs a handful of hair and yanks, causing Rachel to yelp, which startles Erica, whose face scrunches up just moments before she starts to cry. I sigh and shift Jack around an instant before he starts to cry, too, and take Erica from Rachel. I can see Rachel's mouth moving, telling me she's sorry, but I just shake my head, trying to soothe both babies at once.

The front door flies open and Ben comes running in, making Emma jump up and down and shout, "Ben! Ben!" Ross appears in the doorway right behind his son, looking confused. Chandler bounds down the stairs a moment later and hurries over to me, grabbing the first baby he comes to. "I can't leave you alone for two minutes, can I?"

I shake my head at him, trying to calm a screaming infant, Chandler doing the same, his eyes catching mine. He smiles at me a little, and I feel my lips curl in response. It may be crazy and full of screaming children, but I wouldn't have it any other way.